butthiscannotpossiblybepermittedbeforethemiddleofnextweek;thatis,hecannotanyhowbesparedtillafterthel4th,for_we_haveapartythatevening。
ThevalueofamanlikeHenry,onsuchanoccasion,iswhatyoucanhavenoconceptionof;soyoumusttakeituponmywordtobeinestimable。HewillseetheRushworths,whichownIamnotsorryfor——havingalittlecuriosity,andsoIthinkhashe——thoughhewillnotacknowledgeit。“
Thiswasalettertoberunthrougheagerly,tobereaddeliberately,tosupplymatterformuchreflection,andtoleaveeverythingingreatersuspensethanever。
Theonlycertaintytobedrawnfromitwas,thatnothingdecisivehadyettakenplace。Edmundhadnotyetspoken。
HowMissCrawfordreallyfelt,howshemeanttoact,ormightactwithoutoragainsthermeaning;whetherhisimportancetoherwerequitewhatithadbeenbeforethelastseparation;whether,iflessened,itwerelikelytolessenmore,ortorecoveritself,weresubjectsforendlessconjecture,andtobethoughtofonthatdayandmanydaystocome,withoutproducinganyconclusion。
TheideathatreturnedtheoftenestwasthatMissCrawford,afterprovingherselfcooledandstaggeredbyareturntoLondonhabits,wouldyetproveherselfintheendtoomuchattachedtohimtogivehimup。Shewouldtrytobemoreambitiousthanherheartwouldallow。
Shewouldhesitate,shewouldtease,shewouldcondition,shewouldrequireagreatdeal,butshewouldfinallyaccept。
ThiswasFanny’smostfrequentexpectation。Ahouseintown——that,shethought,mustbeimpossible。
YettherewasnosayingwhatMissCrawfordmightnotask。
Theprospectforhercousingrewworseandworse。
Thewomanwhocouldspeakofhim,andspeakonlyofhisappearance!Whatanunworthyattachment!TobederivingsupportfromthecommendationsofMrs。Fraser!
_She_whohadknownhimintimatelyhalfayear!
Fannywasashamedofher。ThosepartsoftheletterwhichrelatedonlytoMr。Crawfordandherself,touchedher,incomparison,slightly。WhetherMr。CrawfordwentintoNorfolkbeforeorafterthe14thwascertainlynoconcernofhers,though,everythingconsidered,shethoughthe_would_gowithoutdelay。ThatMissCrawfordshouldendeavourtosecureameetingbetweenhimandMrs。Rushworth,wasallinherworstlineofconduct,andgrosslyunkindandill-judged;butshehoped_he_
wouldnotbeactuatedbyanysuchdegradingcuriosity。
Heacknowledgednosuchinducement,andhissisteroughttohavegivenhimcreditforbetterfeelingsthanherown。
Shewasyetmoreimpatientforanotherletterfromtownafterreceivingthisthanshehadbeenbefore;
andforafewdayswassounsettledbyitaltogether,bywhathadcome,andwhatmightcome,thatherusualreadingsandconversationwithSusanweremuchsuspended。
Shecouldnotcommandherattentionasshewished。
IfMr。Crawfordrememberedhermessagetohercousin,shethoughtitverylikely,mostlikely,thathewouldwritetoheratallevents;itwouldbemostconsistentwithhisusualkindness;andtillshegotridofthisidea,tillitgraduallyworeoff,bynolettersappearinginthecourseofthreeorfourdaysmore,shewasinamostrestless,anxiousstateAtlength,asomethinglikecomposuresucceeded。
Suspensemustbesubmittedto,andmustnotbeallowedtowearherout,andmakeheruseless。Timedidsomething,herownexertionssomethingmore,andsheresumedherattentionstoSusan,andagainawakenedthesameinterestinthem。
Susanwasgrowingveryfondofher,andthoughwithoutanyoftheearlydelightinbookswhichhadbeensostronginFanny,withadispositionmuchlessinclinedtosedentarypursuits,ortoinformationforinformation’ssake,shehadsostrongadesireofnot_appearing_ignorant,as,withagoodclearunderstanding,madeheramostattentive,profitable,thankfulpupil。
Fannywasheroracle。Fanny’sexplanationsandremarkswereamostimportantadditiontoeveryessay,oreverychapterofhistory。WhatFannytoldherofformertimesdweltmoreonhermindthanthepagesofGoldsmith;andshepaidhersisterthecomplimentofpreferringherstyletothatofanyprintedauthor。Theearlyhabitofreadingwaswanting。
Theirconversations,however,werenotalwaysonsubjectssohighashistoryormorals。Othershadtheirhour;
andoflessermatters,nonereturnedsooften,orremainedsolongbetweenthem,asMansfieldPark,adescriptionofthepeople,themanners,theamusements,thewaysofMansfieldPark。Susan,whohadaninnatetasteforthegenteelandwell-appointed,waseagertohear,andFannycouldnotbutindulgeherselfindwellingonsobelovedatheme。Shehopeditwasnotwrong;though,afteratime,Susan’sverygreatadmirationofeverythingsaidordoneinheruncle’shouse,andearnestlongingtogointoNorthamptonshire,seemedalmosttoblameherforexcitingfeelingswhichcouldnotbegratified。
PoorSusanwasverylittlebetterfittedforhomethanhereldersister;andasFannygrewthoroughlytounderstandthis,shebegantofeelthatwhenherownreleasefromPortsmouthcame,herhappinesswouldhaveamaterialdrawbackinleavingSusanbehind。
Thatagirlsocapableofbeingmadeeverythinggoodshouldbeleftinsuchhands,distressedhermoreandmore。
Were_she_likelytohaveahometoinviteherto,whatablessingitwouldbe!AndhaditbeenpossibleforhertoreturnMr。Crawford’sregard,theprobabilityofhisbeingveryfarfromobjectingtosuchameasurewouldhavebeenthegreatestincreaseofallherowncomforts。
Shethoughthewasreallygood-tempered,andcouldfancyhisenteringintoaplanofthatsortmostpleasantly。
Sevenweeksofthetwomonthswereverynearlygone,whentheoneletter,theletterfromEdmund,solongexpected,wasputintoFanny’shands。Assheopened,andsawitslength,shepreparedherselfforaminutedetailofhappinessandaprofusionofloveandpraisetowardsthefortunatecreaturewhowasnowmistressofhisfate。
Thesewerethecontents——
“MyDearFanny,——ExcusemethatIhavenotwrittenbefore。
Crawfordtoldmethatyouwerewishingtohearfromme,butIfounditimpossibletowritefromLondon,andpersuadedmyselfthatyouwouldunderstandmysilence。
CouldIhavesentafewhappylines,theyshouldnothavebeenwanting,butnothingofthatnaturewaseverinmypower。IamreturnedtoMansfieldinalessassuredstatethatwhenIleftit。Myhopesaremuchweaker。
Youareprobablyawareofthisalready。SoveryfondofyouasMissCrawfordis,itismostnaturalthatsheshouldtellyouenoughofherownfeelingstofurnishatolerableguessatmine。Iwillnotbeprevented,however,frommakingmyowncommunication。Ourconfidencesinyouneednotclash。
Iasknoquestions。Thereissomethingsoothingintheideathatwehavethesamefriend,andthatwhateverunhappydifferencesofopinionmayexistbetweenus,weareunitedinourloveofyou。Itwillbeacomforttometotellyouhowthingsnoware,andwhataremypresentplans,ifplansIcanbesaidtohave。IhavebeenreturnedsinceSaturday。IwasthreeweeksinLondon,andsawherforLondonveryoften。IhadeveryattentionfromtheFrasersthatcouldbereasonablyexpected。
IdaresayIwasnotreasonableincarryingwithmehopesofanintercourseatalllikethatofMansfield。
Itwashermanner,however,ratherthananyunfrequencyofmeeting。HadshebeendifferentwhenIdidseeher,Ishouldhavemadenocomplaint,butfromtheveryfirstshewasaltered:myfirstreceptionwassounlikewhatIhadhoped,thatIhadalmostresolvedonleavingLondonagaindirectly。Ineednotparticularise。
Youknowtheweaksideofhercharacter,andmayimaginethesentimentsandexpressionswhichweretorturingme。
Shewasinhighspirits,andsurroundedbythosewhoweregivingallthesupportoftheirownbadsensetohertoolivelymind。IdonotlikeMrs。Fraser。
Sheisacold-hearted,vainwoman,whohasmarriedentirelyfromconvenience,andthoughevidentlyunhappyinhermarriage,placesherdisappointmentnottofaultsofjudgment,ortemper,ordisproportionofage,buttoherbeing,afterall,lessaffluentthanmanyofheracquaintance,especiallythanhersister,LadyStornaway,andisthedeterminedsupporterofeverythingmercenaryandambitious,provideditbeonlymercenaryandambitiousenough。Ilookuponherintimacywiththosetwosistersasthegreatestmisfortuneofherlifeandmine。Theyhavebeenleadingherastrayforyears。Couldshebedetachedfromthem!——
andsometimesIdonotdespairofit,fortheaffectionappearstomeprincipallyontheirside。Theyareveryfondofher;butIamsureshedoesnotlovethemasshelovesyou。WhenIthinkofhergreatattachmenttoyou,indeed,andthewholeofherjudicious,uprightconductasasister,sheappearsaverydifferentcreature,capableofeverythingnoble,andIamreadytoblamemyselfforatooharshconstructionofaplayfulmanner。
Icannotgiveherup,Fanny。SheistheonlywomanintheworldwhomIcouldeverthinkofasawife。
IfIdidnotbelievethatshehadsomeregardforme,ofcourseIshouldnotsaythis,butIdobelieveit。
Iamconvincedthatsheisnotwithoutadecidedpreference。