flattermyselfthepoorsuffererwillsoonbeabletobeartheremovalwithoutmaterialinconvenienceorinjury。
AsIhavelittledoubtofyourfeelingforus,mydearFanny,underthesedistressingcircumstances,Iwillwriteagainverysoon。“
Fanny’sfeelingsontheoccasionwereindeedconsiderablymorewarmandgenuinethanheraunt’sstyleofwriting。
Shefelttrulyforthemall。Tomdangerouslyill,Edmundgonetoattendhim,andthesadlysmallpartyremainingatMansfield,werecarestoshutouteveryothercare,oralmosteveryother。ShecouldjustfindselfishnessenoughtowonderwhetherEdmund_had_writtentoMissCrawfordbeforethissummonscame,butnosentimentdweltlongwithherthatwasnotpurelyaffectionateanddisinterestedlyanxious。Herauntdidnotneglecther:
shewroteagainandagain;theywerereceivingfrequentaccountsfromEdmund,andtheseaccountswereasregularlytransmittedtoFanny,inthesamediffusestyle,andthesamemedleyoftrusts,hopes,andfears,allfollowingandproducingeachotherathaphazard。
Itwasasortofplayingatbeingfrightened。
ThesufferingswhichLadyBertramdidnotseehadlittlepoweroverherfancy;andshewroteverycomfortablyaboutagitation,andanxiety,andpoorinvalids,tillTomwasactuallyconveyedtoMansfield,andherowneyeshadbeheldhisalteredappearance。ThenaletterwhichshehadbeenpreviouslypreparingforFannywasfinishedinadifferentstyle,inthelanguageofrealfeelingandalarm;thenshewroteasshemighthavespoken。
“Heisjustcome,mydearFanny,andistakenupstairs;
andIamsoshockedtoseehim,thatIdonotknowwhattodo。Iamsurehehasbeenveryill。PoorTom!
Iamquitegrievedforhim,andverymuchfrightened,andsoisSirThomas;andhowgladIshouldbeifyouwereheretocomfortme。ButSirThomashopeshewillbebetterto-morrow,andsayswemustconsiderhisjourney。“
Therealsolicitudenowawakenedinthematernalbosomwasnotsoonover。Tom’sextremeimpatiencetoberemovedtoMansfield,andexperiencethosecomfortsofhomeandfamilywhichhadbeenlittlethoughtofinuninterruptedhealth,hadprobablyinducedhisbeingconveyedthithertooearly,asareturnoffevercameon,andforaweekhewasinamorealarmingstatethanever。
Theywereallveryseriouslyfrightened。LadyBertramwroteherdailyterrorstoherniece,whomightnowbesaidtoliveuponletters,andpassallhertimebetweensufferingfromthatofto-dayandlookingforwardtoto-morrow’s。
Withoutanyparticularaffectionforhereldestcousin,hertendernessofheartmadeherfeelthatshecouldnotsparehim,andthepurityofherprinciplesaddedyetakeenersolicitude,whensheconsideredhowlittleuseful,howlittleself-denyinghislifehadapparentlybeen。
Susanwasheronlycompanionandlisteneronthis,asonmorecommonoccasions。Susanwasalwaysreadytohearandtosympathise。Nobodyelsecouldbeinterestedinsoremoteanevilasillnessinafamilyaboveanhundredmilesoff;
notevenMrs。Price,beyondabriefquestionortwo,ifshesawherdaughterwithaletterinherhand,andnowandthenthequietobservationof,“MypoorsisterBertrammustbeinagreatdealoftrouble。“
Solongdividedandsodifferentlysituated,thetiesofbloodwerelittlemorethannothing。Anattachment,originallyastranquilastheirtempers,wasnowbecomeamerename。Mrs。PricedidquiteasmuchforLadyBertramasLadyBertramwouldhavedoneforMrs。Price。
ThreeorfourPricesmighthavebeensweptaway,anyorallexceptFannyandWilliam,andLadyBertramwouldhavethoughtlittleaboutit;orperhapsmighthavecaughtfromMrs。Norris’slipsthecantofitsbeingaveryhappythingandagreatblessingtotheirpoordearsisterPricetohavethemsowellprovidedfor。
Atabouttheweek’sendfromhisreturntoMansfield,Tom’simmediatedangerwasover,andhewassofarpronouncedsafeastomakehismotherperfectlyeasy;
forbeingnowusedtothesightofhiminhissuffering,helplessstate,andhearingonlythebest,andneverthinkingbeyondwhatsheheard,withnodispositionforalarmandnoaptitudeatahint,LadyBertramwasthehappiestsubjectintheworldforalittlemedicalimposition。
Thefeverwassubdued;thefeverhadbeenhiscomplaint;
ofcoursehewouldsoonbewellagain。LadyBertramcouldthinknothingless,andFannysharedheraunt’ssecurity,tillshereceivedafewlinesfromEdmund,writtenpurposelytogiveheraclearerideaofhisbrother’ssituation,andacquaintherwiththeapprehensionswhichheandhisfatherhadimbibedfromthephysicianwithrespecttosomestronghecticsymptoms,whichseemedtoseizetheframeonthedepartureofthefever。TheyjudgeditbestthatLadyBertramshouldnotbeharassedbyalarmswhich,itwastobehoped,wouldproveunfounded;buttherewasnoreasonwhyFannyshouldnotknowthetruth。Theywereapprehensiveforhislungs。
AveryfewlinesfromEdmundshewedherthepatientandthesickroominajusterandstrongerlightthanallLadyBertram’ssheetsofpapercoulddo。Therewashardlyanyoneinthehousewhomightnothavedescribed,frompersonalobservation,betterthanherself;
notonewhowasnotmoreusefulattimestoherson。
Shecoulddonothingbutglideinquietlyandlookathim;
butwhenabletotalkorbetalkedto,orreadto,Edmundwasthecompanionhepreferred。Hisauntworriedhimbyhercares,andSirThomasknewnothowtobringdownhisconversationorhisvoicetothelevelofirritationandfeebleness。Edmundwasallinall。Fannywouldcertainlybelievehimsoatleast,andmustfindthatherestimationofhimwashigherthaneverwhenheappearedastheattendant,supporter,cheererofasufferingbrother。
Therewasnotonlythedebilityofrecentillnesstoassist:
therewasalso,asshenowlearnt,nervesmuchaffected,spiritsmuchdepressedtocalmandraise,andherownimaginationaddedthattheremustbeamindtobeproperlyguided。
Thefamilywerenotconsumptive,andshewasmoreinclinedtohopethanfearforhercousin,exceptwhenshethoughtofMissCrawford;butMissCrawfordgavehertheideaofbeingthechildofgoodluck,andtoherselfishnessandvanityitwouldbegoodlucktohaveEdmundtheonlyson。
EveninthesickchamberthefortunateMarywasnotforgotten。Edmund’sletterhadthispostscript。
“Onthesubjectofmylast,IhadactuallybegunaletterwhencalledawaybyTom’sillness,butIhavenowchangedmymind,andfeartotrusttheinfluenceoffriends。
WhenTomisbetter,Ishallgo。“
SuchwasthestateofMansfield,andsoitcontinued,withscarcelyanychange,tillEaster。AlineoccasionallyaddedbyEdmundtohismother’sletterwasenoughforFanny’sinformation。Tom’samendmentwasalarminglyslow。
Eastercameparticularlylatethisyear,asFannyhadmostsorrowfullyconsidered,onfirstlearningthatshehadnochanceofleavingPortsmouthtillafterit。Itcame,andshehadyetheardnothingofherreturn——nothingevenofthegoingtoLondon,whichwastoprecedeherreturn。
Herauntoftenexpressedawishforher,buttherewasnonotice,nomessagefromtheuncleonwhomalldepended。
Shesupposedhecouldnotyetleavehisson,butitwasacruel,aterribledelaytoher。TheendofAprilwascomingon;
itwouldsoonbealmostthreemonths,insteadoftwo,thatshehadbeenabsentfromthemall,andthatherdayshadbeenpassinginastateofpenance,whichshelovedthemtoowelltohopetheywouldthoroughlyunderstand;
andwhocouldyetsaywhentheremightbeleisuretothinkoforfetchher?
Hereagerness,herimpatience,herlongingstobewiththem,weresuchastobringalineortwoofCowper’sTirociniumforeverbeforeher。“Withwhatintensedesireshewantsherhome,“wascontinuallyonhertongue,asthetruestdescriptionofayearningwhichshecouldnotsupposeanyschoolboy’sbosomtofeelmorekeenly。
WhenshehadbeencomingtoPortsmouth,shehadlovedtocallitherhome,hadbeenfondofsayingthatshewasgoinghome;
thewordhadbeenverydeartoher,andsoitstillwas,butitmustbeappliedtoMansfield。_That_wasnowthehome。PortsmouthwasPortsmouth;Mansfieldwashome。
Theyhadbeenlongsoarrangedintheindulgenceofhersecretmeditations,andnothingwasmoreconsolatorytoherthantofindherauntusingthesamelanguage:
“IcannotbutsayImuchregretyourbeingfromhomeatthisdistressingtime,soverytryingtomyspirits。
Itrustandhope,andsincerelywishyoumayneverbeabsentfromhomesolongagain,“weremostdelightfulsentencestoher。Still,however,itwasherprivateregale。
Delicacytoherparentsmadehercarefulnottobetraysuchapreferenceofheruncle’shouse。Itwasalways:
“WhenIgobackintoNorthamptonshire,orwhenIreturntoMansfield,Ishalldosoandso。“Foragreatwhileitwasso,butatlastthelonginggrewstronger,itoverthrewcaution,andshefoundherselftalkingofwhatsheshoulddowhenshewenthomebeforeshewasaware。