`Ihadtocomeandseethechickens!’shesaid,panting,glancingshylyatthekeeper,almostunawareofhim。`Arethereanymore?’
`Thurty-sixsofar!’hesaid。`Notbad!’
Hetootookacuriouspleasureinwatchingtheyoungthingscomeout。
Conniecrouchedinfrontofthelastcoop。Thethreechickshadrunin。Butstilltheircheekyheadscamepokingsharplythroughtheyellowfeathers,thenwithdrawing,thenonlyonebeadylittleheadeyeingforthfromthevastmother-body。
`I’dlovetotouchthem,’shesaid,puttingherlingersgingerlythroughthebarsofthecoop。Butthemother-henpeckedatherhandfiercely,andConniedrewbackstartledandfrightened。
`Howshepecksatme!Shehatesme!’shesaidinawonderingvoice。
`ButIwouldn’thurtthem!’
Themanstandingaboveherlaughed,andcroucheddownbesideher,kneesapart,andputhishandwithquietconfidenceslowlyintothecoop。Theoldhenpeckedathim,butnotsosavagely。Andslowly,softly,withsuregentlelingers,hefeltamongtheoldbird’sfeathersanddrewoutafaintly-peepingchickinhisclosedhand。
`There!’hesaid,holdingouthishandtoher。Shetookthelittledrabthingbetweenherhands,andthereitstood,onitsimpossiblelittlestalksoflegs,itsatomofbalancinglifetremblingthroughitsalmostweightlessfeetintoConnie’shands。Butitlifteditshandsome,clean-shapedlittleheadboldly,andlookedsharplyround,andgavealittle`peep’。`Soadorable!
Socheeky!’shesaidsoftly。
Thekeeper,squattingbesideher,wasalsowatchingwithanamusedfacetheboldlittlebirdinherhands。Suddenlyhesawatearfallontoherwrist。
Andhestoodup,andstoodaway,movingtotheothercoop。Forsuddenlyhewasawareoftheoldflameshootingandleapingupinhisloins,thathehadhopedwasquiescentforever。Hefoughtagainstit,turninghisbacktoher。Butitleapt,andleaptdownwards,circlinginhisknees。
Heturnedagaintolookather。Shewaskneelingandholdinghertwohandsslowlyforward,blindly,sothatthechickenshouldrunintothemother-henagain。Andtherewassomethingsomuteandforlorninher,compassionflamedinhisbowelsforher。
Withoutknowing,hecamequicklytowardsherandcrouchedbesideheragain,takingthechickfromherhands,becauseshewasafraidofthehen,andputtingitbackinthecoop。Atthebackofhisloinstheliresuddenlydartedstronger。
Heglancedapprehensivelyather。Herfacewasaverted,andshewascryingblindly,inalltheanguishofhergeneration’sforlornness。Hisheartmeltedsuddenly,likeadropoffire,andheputouthishandandlaidhislingersonherknee。
`Youshouldn’tcry,’hesaidsoftly。
Butthensheputherhandsoverherfaceandfeltthatreallyherheartwasbrokenandnothingmatteredanymore。
Helaidhishandonhershoulder,andsoftly,gently,itbegantotraveldownthecurveofherback,blindly,withablindstrokingmotion,tothecurveofhercrouchingloins。Andtherehishandsoftly,softly,strokedthecurveofherflank,intheblindinstinctivecaress。
Shehadfoundherscrapofhandkerchiefandwasblindlytryingtodryherface。
`Shallyoucometothehut?’hesaid,inaquiet,neutralvoice。
Andclosinghishandsoftlyonherupperarm,hedrewherupandledherslowlytothehut,notlettinggoofhertillshewasinside。Thenheclearedasidethechairandtable,andtookabrown,soldier’sblanketfromthetoolchest,spreadingitslowly。Sheglancedathisface,asshestoodmotionless。
Hisfacewaspaleandwithoutexpression,likethatofamansubmittingtofate。
`Youliethere,’hesaidsoftly,andheshutthedoor,sothatitwasdark,quitedark。
Withaqueerobedience,shelaydownontheblanket。Thenshefeltthesoft,groping,helplesslydesiroushandtouchingherbody,feelingforherface。Thehandstrokedherfacesoftly,softly,withinfinitesoothingandassurance,andatlasttherewasthesofttouchofakissonhercheek。
Shelayquitestill,inasortofsleep,inasortofdream。Thenshequiveredasshefelthishandgropingsoftly,yetwithqueerthwartedclumsiness,amongher`clothing。Yetthehandknew,too,howtounclotheherwhereitwanted。Hedrewdownthethinsilksheath,slowly,carefully,rightdownandoverherfeet。Thenwithaquiverofexquisitepleasurehetouchedthewarmsoftbody,andtouchedhernavelforamomentinakiss。Andhehadtocomeintoheratonce,toenterthepeaceonearthofhersoft,quiescentbody。Itwasthemomentofpurepeaceforhim,theentryintothebodyofthewoman。
Shelaystill,inakindofsleep,alwaysinakindofsleep。Theactivity,theorgasmwashis,allhis;shecouldstriveforherselfnomore。Eventhetightnessofhisarmsroundher,eventheintensemovementofhisbody,andthespringingofhisseedinher,wasakindofsleep,fromwhichshedidnotbegintorousetillhehadfinishedandlaysoftlypantingagainstherbreast。
Thenshewondered,justdimlywondered,why?Whywasthisnecessary?
Whyhaditliftedagreatcloudfromherandgivenherpeace?Wasitreal?
Wasitreal?
Hertormentedmodern-woman’sbrainstillhadnorest。Wasitreal?Andsheknew,ifshegaveherselftotheman,itwasreal。Butifshekeptherselfforherselfitwasnothing。Shewasold;millionsofyearsold,shefelt。Andatlast,shecouldbeartheburdenofherselfnomore。Shewastobehadforthetaking。Tobehadforthetaking。
Themanlayinamysteriousstillness。Whatwashefeeling?Whatwashethinking?Shedidnotknow。Hewasastrangemantoher,shedidnotknowhim。Shemustonlywait,forshedidnotdaretobreakhismysteriousstillness。Helaytherewithhisarmsroundher,hisbodyonhers,hiswetbodytouchinghers,soclose。Andcompletelyunknown。Yetnotunpeaceful。
Hisverystillnesswaspeaceful。
Sheknewthat,whenatlastherousedanddrewawayfromher。Itwaslikeanabandonment。Hedrewherdressinthedarknessdownoverherkneesandstoodafewmoments,apparentlyadjustinghisownclothing。Thenhequietlyopenedthedoorandwentout。
Shesawaverybrilliantlittlemoonshiningabovetheafterglowovertheoaks。Quicklyshegotupandarrangedherselfshewastidy。Thenshewenttothedoorofthehut。
Allthelowerwoodwasinshadow,almostdarkness。Yettheskyoverheadwascrystal。Butitshedhardlyanylight。Hecamethroughthelowershadowtowardsher,hisfaceliftedlikeapaleblotch。
`Shallwegothen?’hesaid。
`Where?’
`I’llgowithyoutothegate。’
Hearrangedthingshisownway。Helockedthedoorofthehutandcameafterher。
`Youaren’tsorry,areyou?’heasked,ashewentatherside。
`No!No!Areyou?’shesaid。
`Forthat!No!’hesaid。Thenafterawhileheadded:`Butthere’stherestofthings。’
`Whatrestofthings?’shesaid。
`SirClifford。Otherfolks。Allthecomplications。’
`Whycomplications?’shesaid,disappointed。
`It’salwaysso。Foryouaswellasforme。There’salwayscomplications。’
Hewalkedonsteadilyinthedark。
`Andareyousorry?’shesaid。
`Inaway!’hereplied,lookingupatthesky。`IthoughtI’ddonewithitall。NowI’vebegunagain。’
`Begunwhat?’
`Life。’
`Life!’shere-echoed,withaqueerthrill。
`It’slife,’hesaid。`There’snokeepingclear。Andifyoudokeepclearyoumightalmostaswelldie。SoifI’vegottobebrokenopenagain,Ihave。’
Shedidnotquiteseeitthatway,butstill`It’sjustlove,’shesaidcheerfully。
`Whateverthatmaybe,’hereplied。
Theywentonthroughthedarkeningwoodinsilence,tilltheywerealmostatthegate。
`Butyoudon’thateme,doyou?’shesaidwistfully。
`Nay,nay,’hereplied。Andsuddenlyheheldherfastagainsthisbreastagain,withtheoldconnectingpassion。`Nay,formeitwasgood,itwasgood。Wasitforyou?’
`Yes,formetoo,’sheanswered,alittleuntruthfully,forshehadnotbeenconsciousofmuch。
Hekissedhersoftly,softly,withthekissesofwarmth。
`Ifonlythereweren’tsomanyotherpeopleintheworld,’hesaidlugubriously。
Shelaughed。Theywereatthegatetothepark。Heopeneditforher。
`Iwon’tcomeanyfurther,’hesaid。
`No!’Andsheheldoutherhand,asiftoshakehands。Buthetookitinbothhis。
`ShallIcomeagain?’sheaskedwistfully。
`Yes!Yes!’
Shelefthimandwentacrossthepark。
Hestoodbackandwatchedhergoingintothedark,againstthepallorofthehorizon。Almostwithbitternesshewatchedhergo。Shehadconnectedhimupagain,whenhehadwantedtobealone。Shehadcosthimthatbitterprivacyofamanwhoatlastwantsonlytobealone。
Heturnedintothedarkofthewood。Allwasstill,themoonhadset。
Buthewasawareofthenoisesofthenight,theenginesatStacksGate,thetrafficonthemainroad。Slowlyheclimbedthedenudedknoll。Andfromthetophecouldseethecountry,brightrowsoflightsatStacksGate,smallerlightsatTevershallpit,theyellowlightsofTevershallandlightseverywhere,hereandthere,onthedarkcountry,withthedistantblushoffurnaces,faintandrosy,sincethenightwasclear,therosinessoftheoutpouringofwhite-hotmetal。Sharp,wickedelectriclightsatStacksGate!Anundefinablequickofevilinthem!Andalltheunease,theever-shiftingdreadoftheindustrialnightintheMidlands。Hecouldhearthewinding-enginesatStacksGateturningdowntheseven-o’clockminers。Thepitworkedthreeshifts。
Hewentdownagainintothedarknessandseclusionofthewood。Butheknewthattheseclusionofthewoodwasillusory。Theindustrialnoisesbrokethesolitude,thesharplights,thoughunseen,mockedit。Amancouldnolongerbeprivateandwithdrawn。Theworldallowsnohermits。Andnowhehadtakenthewoman,andbroughtonhimselfanewcycleofpainanddoom。Forheknewbyexperiencewhatitmeant。
Itwasnotwoman’sfault,norevenlove’sfault,northefaultofsex。
Thefaultlaythere,outthere,inthoseevilelectriclightsanddiabolicalrattlingsofengines。There,intheworldofthemechanicalgreedy,greedymechanismandmechanizedgreed,sparklingwithlightsandgushinghotmetalandroaringwithtraffic,therelaythevastevilthing,readytodestroywhateverdidnotconform。Soonitwoulddestroythewood,andthebluebellswouldspringnomore。Allvulnerablethingsmustperishundertherollingandrunningofiron。
Hethoughtwithinfinitetendernessofthewoman。Poorforlornthing,shewasnicerthansheknew,andoh!somuchtooniceforthetoughlotshewasincontactwith。Poorthing,shetoohadsomeofthevulnerabilityofthewildhyacinths,shewasn’talltoughrubber-goodsandplatinum,likethemoderngirl。Andtheywoulddoherin!Assureaslife,theywoulddoherin,astheydoinallnaturallytenderlife。Tender!Somewhereshewastender,tenderwithatendernessofthegrowinghyacinths,somethingthathasgoneoutofthecelluloidwomenoftoday。Buthewouldprotectherwithhisheartforalittlewhile。Foralittlewhile,beforetheinsentientironworldandtheMammonofmechanizedgreeddidthembothin,heraswellashim。
Hewenthomewithhisgunandhisdog,tothedarkcottage,litthelamp,startedthefire,andatehissupperofbreadandcheese,youngonionsandbeer。Hewasalone,inasilenceheloved。Hisroomwascleanandtidy,butratherstark。Yetthefirewasbright,thehearthwhite,thepetroleumlamphungbrightoverthetable,withitswhiteoil-cloth。HetriedtoreadabookaboutIndia,buttonighthecouldnotread。Hesatbythefireinhisshirt-sleeves,notsmoking,butwithamugofbeerinreach。AndhethoughtaboutConnie。
Totellthetruth,hewassorryforwhathadhappened,perhapsmostforhersake。Hehadasenseofforeboding。Nosenseofwrongorsin;hewastroubledbynoconscienceinthatrespect。Heknewthatconsciencewaschieflytearofsociety,orfearofoneself。Hewasnotafraidofhimself。
Buthewasquiteconsciouslyafraidofsociety,whichheknewbyinstincttobeamalevolent,partly-insanebeast。
Thewoman!Ifshecouldbetherewithhim,aridtherewerenobodyelseintheworld!Thedesireroseagain,hispenisbegantostirlikealivebird。Atthesametimeanoppression,adreadofexposinghimselfandhertothatoutsideThingthatsparkledviciouslyintheelectriclights,weigheddownhisshoulders。She,pooryoungthing,wasjustayoungfemalecreaturetohim;butayoungfemalecreaturewhomhehadgoneintoandwhomhedesiredagain。
Stretchingwiththecuriousyawnofdesire,forhehadbeenaloneandapartfrommanorwomanforfouryears,heroseandtookhiscoatagain,andhisgun,loweredthelampandwentoutintothestarrynight,withthedog。DrivenbydesireandbydreadofthemalevolentThingoutside,hemadehisroundinthewood,slowly,softly。Helovedthedarknessaridfoldedhimselfintoit。Itfittedtheturgidityofhisdesirewhich,inspiteofall,waslikeariches;thestirringrestlessnessofhispenis,thestirringfireinhisloins!Oh,ifonlytherewereothermentobewith,tofightthatsparklingelectricThingoutsidethere,topreservethetendernessoflife,thetendernessofwomen,andthenaturalrichesofdesire。Ifonlytherewerementofightsidebysidewith!Butthemenwerealloutsidethere,gloryingintheThing,triumphingorbeingtroddendownintherushofmechanizedgreedorofgreedymechanism。
Constance,forherpart,hadhurriedacrossthepark,home,almostwithoutthinking。Asyetshehadnoafterthought。Shewouldbeintimefordinner。
Shewasannoyedtofindthedoorsfastened,however,sothatshehadtoring。MrsBoltonopened。
`Whythereyouare,yourLadyship!Iwasbeginningtowonderifyou’dgonelost!’shesaidalittleroguishly。`SirCliffordhasn’taskedforyou,though;he’sgotMrLinleyinwithhim,talkingoversomething。Itlooksasifhe’dstaytodinner,doesn’tit,myLady?’
`Itdoesrather,’saidConnie。
`ShallIputdinnerbackaquarterofanhour?Thatwouldgiveyoutimetodressincomfort。’
`Perhapsyou’dbetter。’