Onthestrengthofheranger,HildawarmedtowardClifford。
Afterall,hehadamind。Andifhehadnosex,functionally,allthebetter:somuchthelesstoquarrelabout!Hildawantednomoreofthatsexbusiness,wheremenbecamenasty,selfishlittlehorrors。Conniereallyhadlesstoputupwiththanmanywomenifshedidbutknowit。
AndClifforddecidedthatHilda,afterall,wasadecidedlyintelligentwoman,andwouldmakeamanafirst-ratehelpmate,ifheweregoinginforpoliticsforexample。Yes,shehadnoneofConnie’ssilliness,Conniewasmoreachild:youhadtomakeexcusesforher,becauseshewasnotaltogetherdependable。
Therewasanearlycupofteainthehall,wheredoorswereopentoletinthesun。Everybodyseemedtobepantingalittle。
`Good-bye,Conniegirl!Comebacktomesafely。’
`Good-bye,Clifford!Yes,Ishan’tbelong。’Conniewasalmosttender。
`Good-bye,Hilda!Youwillkeepaneyeonher,won’tyou?’
`I’llevenkeeptwo!’saidHilda。`Sheshan’tgoveryfarastray。’
`It’sapromise!’
`Good-bye,MrsBolton!Iknowyou’lllookafterSirCliffordnobly。’
`I’lldowhatIcan,yourLadyship。’
`Andwritetomeifthereisanynews,andtellmeaboutSirClifford,howheis。’
`Verygood,yourLadyship,Iwill。Andhaveagoodtime,andcomebackandcheerusup。’
Everybodywaved。ThecarwentoffConnielookedbackandsawClifford,sittingatthetopofthestepsinhishouse-chair。Afterall,hewasherhusband:Wragbywasherhome:circumstancehaddoneit。
MrsChambersheldthegateandwishedherladyshipahappyholiday。
Thecarslippedoutofthedarkspinneythatmaskedthepark,ontothehighroadwherethecolliersweretrailinghome。HildaturnedtotheCrosshillRoad,thatwasnotamainroad,butrantoMansfield。Connieputongoggles。
Theyranbesidetherailway,whichwasinacuttingbelowthem。Thentheycrossedthecuttingonabridge。
`That’sthelanetothecottage!’saidConnie。
Hildaglancedatitimpatiently。
`It’safrightfulpitywecan’tgostraightoff!’shesaid。WecouldhavebeeninPallMallbynineo’clock。’
`I’msorryforyoursake,’saidConnie,frombehindhergoggles。
TheyweresoonatMansfield,thatonce-romantic,nowutterlydishearteningcollierytown。Hildastoppedatthehotelnamedinthemotor-carbook,andtookaroom。Thewholethingwasutterlyuninteresting,andshewasalmosttooangrytotalk。However,Conniehadtotellhersomethingoftheman’shistory。
`He!He!Whatnamedoyoucallhimby?Youonlysayhe,’
saidHilda。
`I’venevercalledhimbyanyname:norheme:whichiscurious,whenyoucometothinkofit。UnlesswesayLadyJaneandJohnThomas。ButhisnameisOliverMellors。’
`AndhowwouldyouliketobeMrsOliverMellors,insteadofLadyChatterley?’
`I’dloveit。’
TherewasnothingtobedonewithConnie。Andanyhow,ifthemanhadbeenalieutenantinthearmyinIndiaforfourorfiveyears,hemustbemoreorlesspresentable。Apparentlyhehadcharacter。Hildabegantorelentalittle。
`Butyou’llbethroughwithhiminawhile,’shesaid,`andthenyou’llbeashamedofhavingbeenconnectedwithhim。Onecan’tmixupwiththeworkingpeople。’
`Butyouaresuchasocialist!you’realwaysonthesideoftheworkingclasses。’
`Imaybeontheirsideinapoliticalcrisis,butbeingontheirsidemakesmeknowhowimpossibleitistomixone’slifewiththeirs。Notoutofsnobbery,butjustbecausethewholerhythmisdifferent。’
Hildahadlivedamongtherealpoliticalintellectuals,soshewasdisastrouslyunanswerable。
Thenondescripteveninginthehoteldraggedout,andatlasttheyhadanondescriptdinner。ThenConnieslippedafewthingsintoalittlesilkbag,andcombedherhaironcemore。
`Afterall,Hilda,’shesaid,`lovecanbewonderful:whenyoufeelyoulive,andareintheverymiddleofcreation。’Itwasalmostlikebraggingonherpart。
`Isupposeeverymosquitofeelsthesame,’saidHilda。`Doyouthinkitdoes?Howniceforit!’
Theeveningwaswonderfullyclearandlong-lingering,eveninthesmalltown。Itwouldbehalf-lightallnight。Withafacelikeamask,fromresentment,Hildastartedhercaragain,andthetwospedbackontheirtraces,takingtheotherroad,throughBolsover。
Connieworehergogglesanddisguisingcap,andshesatinsilence。
BecauseofHilda’sOpposition,shewasfiercelyonthesidleoftheman,shewouldstandbyhimthroughthickandthin。
Theyhadtheirhead-lightson,bythetimetheypassedCrosshill,andthesmalllit-uptrainthatchuffedpastinthecuttingmadeitseemlikerealnight。Hildahadcalculatedtheturnintothelaneatthebridge-end。
Shesloweduprathersuddenlyandswervedofftheroad,thelightsglaringwhiteintothegrassy,overgrownlane。Connielookedout。Shesawashadowyfigure,andsheopenedthedoor。
`Hereweare!’shesaidsoftly。
ButHildahadswitchedoffthelights,andwasabsorbedbacking,makingtheturn。
`Nothingonthebridge?’sheaskedshortly。`You’reallright,’saidthemall’svoice。Shebackedontothebridge,reversed,letthecarrunforwardsafewyardsalongtheroad,thenbackedintothelane,underawych-elmtree,crushingthegrassandbracken。Thenallthelightswentout。Conniesteppeddown。Themanstoodunderthetrees。
`Didyouwaitlong?’Connieasked。
`Notsovery,’hereplied。
TheybothwaitedforHildatogetout。ButHildashutthedoorofthecarandsattight。
`ThisismysisterHilda。Won’tyoucomeandspeaktoher?Hilda!ThisisMrMellors。’
Thekeeperliftedhishat,butwentnonearer。
`Dowalkdowntothecottagewithus,Hilda,’Conniepleaded。`It’snotfar。’
`Whataboutthecar?’
`Peopledoleavethemonthelanes。Youhavethekey。’
Hildawassilent,deliberating。Thenshelookedbackwardsdownthelane。
`CanIbackroundthebush?’shesaid。
`Ohyes!’saidthekeeper。
Shebackedslowlyroundthecurve,outofsightoftheroad,lockedthecar,andgotdown。Itwasnight,butluminousdark。Thehedgesrosehighandwild,bytheunusedlane,andverydarkseeming。Therewasafreshsweetscentontheair。Thekeeperwentahead,thencameConnie,thenHilda,andinsilence。Helitupthedifficultplaceswithaflash-lighttorch,andtheywentonagain,whileanowlsoftlyhootedovertheoaks,andFlossiepaddedsilentlyaround。Nobodycouldspeak。Therewasnothingtosay。
AtlengthConniesawtheyellowlightofthehouse,andherheartbeatfast。Shewasalittlefrightened。Theytrailedon,stillinIndianfile。
Heunlockedthedoorandprecededthemintothewarmbutbarelittleroom。Thefireburnedlowandredinthegrate。Thetablewassetwithtwoplatesandtwoglassesonaproperwhitetable-clothforOnce。Hildashookherhairandlookedroundthebare,cheerlessroom。Thenshesummonedhercourageandlookedattheman。
Hewasmoderatelytall,andthin,andshethoughthimgood-looking。
Hekeptaquietdistanceofhisown,andseemedabsolutelyunwillingtospeak。
`Dositdown,Hilda,’saidConnie。
`Do!’hesaid。`CanImakeyouteaoranything,orwillyoudrinkaglassofbeer?It’smoderatelycool。’
`Beer!’saidConnie。
`Beerforme,please!’saidHilda,withamocksortofshyness。Helookedatherandblinked。
Hetookabluejugandtrampedtothescullery。Whenhecamebackwiththebeer,hisfacehadchangedagain。
Conniesatdownbythedoor,andHildasatinhisseat,withthebacktothewall,againstthewindowcorner。
`Thatishischair,’saidConniesoftly。’AndHildaroseasifithadburnther。
`Sityerstill,sityerstill!Ta’eonycheerasyo’namindto,noneofusisth’bigbear,’hesaid,withcompleteequanimity。
AndhebroughtHildaaglass,andpouredherbeerfirstfromthebluejug。
`Asforcigarettes,’hesaid,`I’vegotnone,but’appenyou’vegotyourown。Idunnasmoke,mysen。Shally’eatsummat?’HeturneddirecttoConnie。`Shallt’eatasmiteo’summat,ifIbringitthee?Thacanusuallydowi’abite。’Hespokethevernacularwithacuriouscalmassurance,asifhewerethelandlordoftheInn。
`Whatisthere?’askedConnie,flushing。
`Boiledham,cheese,pickledwa’nuts,ifyerlike——Nowtmuch。’
`Yes,’saidConnie。`Won’tyou,Hilda?’
Hildalookedupathim。
`WhydoyouspeakYorkshire?’shesaidsoftly。
`That!That’snonYorkshire,that’sDerby。’
Helookedbackatherwiththatfaint,distantgrin。
`Derby,then!WhydoyouspeakDerby?YouspokenaturalEnglishatfirst。’
`DidAhthough?An’cannaAhchangeifAh’mamindto’t?Nay,nay,letmetalkDerbyifitsuitsme。Ifyo’nnowtagainstit。’
`Itsoundsalittleaffected,’saidHilda。
`Ay,’appenso!An’upi’Tevershallyo’dsoundaffected。’Helookedagainather,withaqueercalculatingdistance,alonghischeek-bone:
asiftosay:Yi,an’whoareyou?
Hetrampedawaytothepantryforthefood。
Thesisterssatinsilence。Hebroughtanotherplate,andknifeandfork。Thehesaid:
`An’ifit’sthesametoyou,Is’llta’emycoatofflikeIallersdo。’
Andhetookoffhiscoat,andhungitonthepeg,thensatdowntotableinhisshirt-sleeves:ashirtofthin,cream-colouredflannel。
`’Elpyerselves!’hesaid。`’Elpyerselves!Dunnawaitf’raxin’!’Hecutthebread,thensatmotionless。Hildafelt,asConnieonceusedto,hispowerofsilenceanddistance。Shesawhissmallish,sensitive,loosehandonthetable。Hewasnosimpleworkingman,nothe:hewasacting!
acting!
`Still!’shesaid,asshetookalittlecheese。`ItwouldbemorenaturalifyouspoketousinnormalEnglish,notinvernacular。’
Helookedather,feelingherdevilofawill。
`Wouldit?’hesaidinthenormalEnglish。`Wouldit?Wouldanythingthatwassaidbetweenyouandmebequitenatural,unlessyousaidyouwishedmetohellbeforeyoursistereversawmeagain:andunlessIsaidsomethingalmostasunpleasantbackagain?Wouldanythingelsebenatural?’
`Ohyes!’saidHilda。`Justgoodmannerswouldbequitenatural。’
`Secondnature,sotospeak!’hesaid:thenhebegantolaugh。`Nay,’
hesaid。`I’mwearyo’manners。Letmebe!’
Hildawasfranklybaffledandfuriouslyannoyed。Afterall,hemightshowthatherealizedhewasbeinghonoured。Insteadofwhich,withhisplay-actingandlordlyairs,heseemedtothinkitwashewhowasconferringthehonour。Justimpudence!PoormisguidedConnie,intheman’sclutches!
Thethreeateinsilence。Hildalookedtoseewhathistable-mannerswerelike。Shecouldnothelprealizingthathewasinstinctivelymuchmoredelicateandwell-bredthanherself。ShehadacertainScottishclumsiness。
Andmoreover,hehadallthequietself-containedassuranceoftheEnglish,nolooseedges。Itwouldbeverydifficulttogetthebetterofhim。
Butneitherwouldhegetthebetterofher。
`Anddoyoureallythink,’shesaid,alittlemorehumanly,`it’sworththerisk。’
`Iswhatworthwhatrisk?’
`Thisescapadewithmysister。’
Heflickeredhisirritatinggrin。
`Yo’maunax’er!’ThenhelookedatConnie。
`Thacomeso’thineownaccord,lass,doesn’tter?It’snonmeasforcesthee?’
ConnielookedatHilda。
`Iwishyouwouldn’tcavil,Hilda。’
`NaturallyIdon’twantto。Butsomeonehastothinkaboutthings。You’vegottohavesomesortofcontinuityinyourlife。Youcan’tjustgomakingamess。’
Therewasamoment’spause。
`Eh,continuity!’hesaid。`An’whatbythat?Whatcontinuityaveyergoti’yourlife?Ithoughtyouwasgettin’divorced。Whatcontinuity’sthat?Continuityo’yerownstubbornness。Icanseethatmuch。An’whatgood’sitgoin’todoyer?You’llbesicko’yercontinuityaforeyerafatsightolder。Astubbornwomananerownself-will:ay,theymakeafastcontinuity,theydo。Thankheaven,itisn’tmeas`asgotth’’andlin’
ofyer!’
`Whatrighthaveyoutospeaklikethattome?’saidHilda。
`Right!Whatrightha’yo’terstartharnessin’otherfolksi’yourcontinuity?Leavefolkstotheirowncontinuities。’
`Mydearman,doyouthinkIamconcernedwithyou?’saidHildasoftly。
`Ay,’hesaid。`Yo’are。Forit’saforce-put。Yo’moreorlessmysister-in-law。’
`Stillfarfromit,Iassureyou。
`Nota’thatfar,Iassureyou。I’vegotmyownsorto’continuity,backyourlife!Goodasyours,anyday。An’ifyoursistertherecomestermeforabito’cuntan’tenderness,sheknowswhatshe’safter。She’sbeeninmybedafore:whichyou’aven’t,thanktheLord,withyourcontinuity。’
Therewasadeadpause,beforeheadded:`——Eh,Idon’twearmebreechesarse-forrards。An’ifIgetawindfall,Ithankmystars。Amangetsalotofenjoymentouto’thatlasstheer,whichismorethananybodygetsouto’th’likeso’you。Whichisapity,foryoumightappena’binagoodapple,’steadofahandsomecrab。Womenlikeyouneedspropergraftin’。’
Hewaslookingatherwithanodd,flickeringsmile,faintlysensualandappreciative。
`Andmenlikeyou,’shesaid,`oughttobesegregated:justifyingtheirownvulgarityandselfishlust。’
`Ay,ma’am!It’samercythere’safewmenleftlikeme。Butyoudeservewhatyouget:tobeleftseverelyalone。’
Hildahadrisenandgonetothedoor。Heroseandtookhiscoatfromthepeg。
`Icanfindmywayquitewellalone,’shesaid。