and-sosaidthis，“and“Fatherso-and-sosaidthat“；“Fatherso-
　　and-sothinksweshoulddoso-and-so，orthatweshouldnotdoso-
　　and-so。“Iatfirstthoughtthathemusthavegiventhemsomething，somephiltreorthelike，butoneoftheEnglishmaid-
　　servants，whohadakindofrespectforme，andwhosawmuchmorebehindthescenesthanIdid，informedmethathewascontinuallyinstillingstrangenotionsintotheirheads，striving，byeverypossiblemethod，tomakethemdespisethereligionoftheirownland，andtakeupthatoftheforeigncountryinwhichtheywere。
　　Andsureenough，inalittletime，thegirlshadaltogetherleftoffgoingtoanEnglishchapel，andwerecontinuallyvisitingplacesofItalianworship。Theoldgovernor，itistrue，stillwenttohischurch，butheappearedtobehesitatingbetweentwoopinions；andonce，whenhewasatdinner，hesaidtotwoorthreeEnglishfriendsthat，sincehehadbecomebetteracquaintedwithit，hehadconceivedamuchmorefavourableopinionoftheCatholicreligionthanhehadpreviouslyentertained。Inaword，thepriestruledthehouse，andeverythingwasdoneaccordingtohiswillandpleasure；bydegreeshepersuadedtheyoungladiestodroptheirEnglishacquaintances，whoseplacehesuppliedwithItalians，chieflyfemales。Mypooroldgovernorwouldnothavehadapersontospeakto-forhenevercouldlearnthelanguage-butfortwoorthreeEnglishmenwhousedtocomeoccasionallyandtakeabottlewithhiminasummer-house，whosecompanyhecouldnotbepersuadedtoresign，notwithstandingtheentreatiesofhisdaughters，instigatedbythepriest，whosegrandendeavourseemedtobetorenderthemindsofallthreefoolish，forhisownends。Andifhewasbusyabovestairswiththegovernor，therewasanotherbusybelowwithuspoorEnglishservants，akindofsubordinatepriest，alowItalian；ashecouldspeaknolanguagebuthisown，hewascontinuallyjabberingtousinthat，andbyhearinghimthemaidsandmyselfcontrivedtopickupagooddealofthelanguage，sothatweunderstoodmostthatwassaid，andcouldspeakitveryfairly；andthethemesofhisjabberwerethebeautyandvirtuesofonewhomhecalledHolyMary，andthepowerandgrandeurofonewhomhecalledtheHolyFather；andhetoldusthatweshouldshortlyhaveanopportunityofseeingtheHolyFather，whocoulddoanythinghelikedwithHolyMary：inthemeantimewehadplentyofopportunitiesofseeingHolyMary，forineverychurch，chapel，andconventtowhichweweretaken，therewasanimageofHolyMary，who，iftheimagesweredressedatallinherfashion，musthavebeenveryfondofshortpetticoatsandtinsel，andwho，ifthosesaidfiguresatallresembledherinface，couldscarcelyhavebeenhalfashandsomeaseitherofmytwofellow-servants，nottospeakoftheyoungladies。
　　’Nowithappenedthatoneofthefemaleservantswasmuchtakenwithwhatshesawandheard，andgaveherselfupentirelytothewillofthesubordinate，whohadquiteasmuchdominionoverherashissuperiorhadovertheladies；theothermaid，however，theonewhohadakindofrespectforme，wasnotsoeasilybesotted；sheusedtolaughatwhatshesaw，andatwhatthefellowtoldher，andfromherIlearntthatamongstotherthingsintendedbythesepriestlyconfederateswasrobbery；shesaidthatthepooroldgovernorhadalreadybeenpersuadedbyhisdaughterstoputmorethanathousandpoundsintothesuperiorpriest’shandsforpurposesofcharityandreligion，aswassaid，andthatthesubordinateonehadalreadyinveigledherfellow-servantoutofeverypennywhichshehadsavedfromherwages，andhadendeavouredlikewisetoobtainwhatmoneysheherselfhad，butinvain。Withrespecttomyself，thefellowshortlyaftermadeanattempttowardsobtainingahundredcrowns，ofwhich，bysomemeans，heknewmetobeinpossession，tellingmewhatameritoriousthingitwastogiveone’ssuperfluitiesforthepurposesofreligion。“Thatistrue，“saidI，“andif，aftermyreturntomynativecountry，I
　　findIhaveanythingwhichIdon’twantmyself，IwillemployitinhelpingtobuildaMethodistchapel。“
　　’BythetimethatthethreemonthswereexpiredforwhichwehadhiredthepalaceoftheneedyPrince，theoldgovernorbegantotalkofreturningtoEngland，atleastofleavingItaly。Ibelievehehadbecomefrightenedatthecallswhichwerecontinuallybeingmadeuponhimformoney；forafterall，youknow，ifthereisasensitivepartofaman’swearingapparel，itishisbreechespocket；buttheyoungladiescouldnotthinkofleavingdearItalyandthedearpriest；andthentheyhadseennothingofthecountry，theyhadonlyseenNaples；beforeleavingdearItaliatheymustseemoreofthecountryandthecities；aboveall，theymustseeaplacewhichtheycalledtheEternalCity，orsomesimilarnonsensicalname；andtheypersistedsothatthepoorgovernorpermittedthem，asusual，tohavetheirway；anditwasdecidedwhatroutetheyshouldtake-thatis，thepriestwaskindenoughtodecideforthem，andwasalsokindenoughtopromisetogowiththempartoftheroute，asfarasaplacewheretherewasawonderfulfigureofHolyMary，whichthepriestsaiditwashighlynecessaryforthemtoseebeforevisitingtheEternalCity：soweleftNaplesinhiredcarriages，drivenbyfellowstheycallveturini，cheating，drunkendogs，Iremembertheywere。Besidesourownfamilytherewasthepriestandhissubordinate，andacoupleofhiredlackeys。Wewereseveraldaysuponthejourney，travellingthroughaverywildcountry，whichtheladiespretendedtobedelightedwith，andwhichthegovernorcursedonaccountofthebadnessoftheroads；andwhenwecametoanyparticularlywildspotweusedtostop，inordertoenjoythescenery，astheladiessaid；andthenwewouldspreadahorse-clothontheground，andeatbreadandcheese，anddrinkwineofthecountry。Andsomeoftheholesandcornersinwhichwebivouacked，astheladiescalledit，weresomethinglikethisplacewherewearenow，sothatwhenI
　　camedownhereitputmeinmindofthem。Atlastwearrivedattheplacewherewastheholyimage。
　　’Wewenttothehouseorchapelinwhichtheholyimagewaskept-
　　afrightful，uglyblackfigureofHolyMary，dressedinherusualway；andafterwehadstaredatthefigure，andsomeofourpartyhadboweddowntoit，wewereshownagreatmanythingswhichwerecalledholyrelics，whichconsistedofthumb-nails，andfore-nails，andtoe-nails，andhair，andteeth，andafeatherortwo，andamightythigh-bone，butwhetherofamanoracamelIcan’tsay；allofwhichthings，Iwastold，ifproperlytouchedandhandled，hadmightypowertocureallkindsofdisorders。Andaswewentfromtheholyhousewesawamaninastateofgreatexcitement：hewasfoamingatthemouth，andcursingtheholyimageandallitshousehold，because，afterhehadworshippeditandmadeofferingstoit，andbesoughtittoassisthiminagameofchancewhichhewasabouttoplay，ithadlefthiminthelurch，allowinghimtoloseallhismoney。AndwhenIthoughtofalltherubbishIhadseen，andthepurposeswhichitwasappliedto，inconjunctionwiththerageofthelosinggamesteratthedeafanddumbimage，IcouldnothelpcomparingthewholewithwhatmypoorbrotherusedtotellmeofthesuperstitiouspracticesoftheblacksonthehighBarbaryshore，andtheiroccasionalrageandfuryatthethingstheyworshipped；andIsaidtomyself，Ifallthisheredoesn’tsmelloffetish，mayIsmellfetid。
　　’Atthisplacethepriestleftus，returningtoNapleswithhissubordinate，onsomeparticularbusinessIsuppose。Itwas，however，agreedthatheshouldvisitusattheHolyCity。WedidnotgodirecttotheHolyCity，butbentourcoursetotwoorthreeothercitieswhichthefamilyweredesirousofseeing；butasnothingoccurredtousintheseplacesofanyparticularinterest，Ishalltakethelibertyofpassingthembyinsilence。AtlengthwearrivedattheEternalCity：animmensecityitwas，lookingasifithadstoodforalongtime，andwouldstandforalongtimestill；comparedwithit，Londonwouldlooklikeamereassemblageofbee-skeps；however，givemethebee-skepswiththeirmerryhumandbustle，andlifeandhoney，ratherthanthathugetown，whichlookedlikeasepulchre，wheretherewasnolife，nobusyhum，nobees，butascantysallowpopulation，intermixedwithblackpriests，whitepriests，graypriests；andthoughIdon’tsaytherewasnohoneyintheplace，forIbelievetherewas，IamreadytotakemyBibleoaththatitwasnotmadethere，andthatthepriestskeptitallforthemselves。
　　CHAPTERXCIX
　　Acloister-HalfEnglish-Newacquaintance-Mixedliquors-
　　TurningPapist-Purposesofcharity-Foreignreligion-
　　Melancholy-Elbowingandpushing-Outlandishsight-Thefigure-
　　Idon’tcareforyou-Merry-andrews-Onegood-Religionofmycountry-Fellowofspirit-Adispute-Thenextmorning-Femaledoll-Properdignity-Fetishcountry。
　　’THEdayafterourarrival，’continuedthepostilion，’Iwassent，undertheguidanceofalackeyoftheplace，withaletter，whichthepriest，whenheleft，hadgivenusforafriendofhisintheEternalCity。Wewenttoalargehouse，andonringingwereadmittedbyaporterintoacloister，whereIsawsomeill-looking，shabbyyoungfellowswalkingabout，whospokeEnglishtooneanother。Tooneofthesetheporterdeliveredtheletter，andtheyoungfellow，goingaway，presentlyreturnedandtoldmetofollowhim；heledmeintoalargeroomwhere，behindatableonwhichwerevariouspapersandathingwhichtheycall，inthatcountry，acrucifix，satamaninakindofpriestlydress。Theladhavingopenedthedoorforme，shutitbehindme，andwentaway。ThemanbehindthetablewassoengagedinreadingtheletterwhichIhadbrought，thatatfirsthetooknonoticeofme；hehadredhair，akindofhalf-Englishcountenance，andwasseeminglyaboutfive-and-
　　thirty。Afteralittletimehelaidtheletterdown，appearedtoconsideramoment，andthenopenedhismouthwithastrangelaugh，notaloudlaugh，forIheardnothingbutakindofhissingdeepdownthethroat；allofasudden，however，perceivingme，hegaveaslightstart，but，instantlyrecoveringhimself，heinquiredinEnglishconcerningthehealthofthefamily，andwherewelived：
　　onmydeliveringhimacard，hebademeinformmymasterandtheladiesthatinthecourseofthedayhewoulddohimselfthehonourofwaitinguponthem。Hethenaroseandopenedthedoorformetodepart。Themanwasperfectlycivilandcourteous，butIdidnotlikethatstrangelaughofhisafterhavingreadtheletter。Hewasasgoodashisword，andthatsamedaypaidusavisit。ItwasnowarrangedthatweshouldpassthewinterinRome-tomygreatannoyance，forIwishedtoreturntomynativeland，beingheartilytiredofeverythingconnectedwithItaly。Iwasnot，however，withouthopethatouryoungmasterwouldshortlyarrive，whenI
　　trustedthatmatters，asfarasthefamilywereconcerned，wouldbeputonabetterfooting。Inafewdaysournewacquaintance，who，itseems，wasamongrelEnglishman，hadprocuredahouseforouraccommodation；itwaslargeenough，butnotnearsopleasantasthatwehadatNaples，whichwaslightandairy，withalargegarden。Thiswasadarkgloomystructureinanarrowstreet，withafrowningchurchbesideit；itwasnotfarfromtheplacewhereournewfriendlived，anditsbeingsowasprobablythereasonwhyheselectedit。Itwasfurnishedpartlywitharticleswhichwebought，andpartlywiththosewhichwehired。WelivedsomethinginthesamewayasatNaples；butthoughIdidnotmuchlikeNaples，Iyetlikeditbetterthanthisplace，whichwassogloomy。
　　Ournewacquaintancemadehimselfasagreeableashecould，conductingtheladiestochurchesandconvents，andfrequentlypassingtheafternoondrinkingwiththegovernor，whowasfondofaglassofbrandyandwaterandacigar，asthenewacquaintancealsowas-no，Iremember，hewasfondofginandwater，anddidnotsmoke。Idon’tthinkhehadsomuchinfluenceovertheyoungladiesastheotherpriest，whichwas，perhaps，owingtohisnotbeingsogood-looking；butIamsurehehadmoreinfluencewiththegovernor，owing，doubtless，tohisbearinghimcompanyindrinkingmixedliquors，whichtheotherpriestdidnotdo。
　　’Hewasastrangefellow，thatsamenewacquaintanceofours，andunlikeallthepriestsIsawinthatcountry，andIsawplentyofvariousnations；theywerealwaysupontheirguard，andhadtheirfeaturesandvoicemodulated；butthismanwassubjecttofitsofabsence，duringwhichhewouldfrequentlymuttertohimself，then，thoughhewasperfectlyciviltoeverybody，asfaraswordswent，I
　　observedthatheentertainedathoroughcontemptformostpeople，especiallyforthosewhomhewasmakingdupes。Ihaveobservedhimwhilstdrinkingwithourgovernor，whentheoldman’sheadwasturned，lookathimwithanairwhichseemedtosay，“Whatathunderingoldfoolyouare“；andatouryoungladies，whentheirbackswereturned，withaglancewhichsaiddistinctlyenough，“Youpreciouspairofninnyhammers“；andthenhislaugh-hehadtwokindsoflaughs-onewhichyoucouldhear，andanotherwhichyoucouldonlysee。Ihaveseenhimlaughatourgovernorandtheyoungladies，whentheirheadswereturnedaway，butIheardnosound。Mymotherhadasandycat，whichsometimesusedtoopenitsmouthwidewithamewwhichnobodycouldhear，andthesilentlaughofthatred-hairedpriestusedtoputmewonderfullyinmindofthesilentmewofmymother’ssandy-redcat。Andthentheotherlaugh，whichyoucouldhear；whatastrangelaughthatwas，neverloud，yes，Ihaveheardittolerablyloud。Heoncepassednearme，afterhavingtakenleaveofasillyEnglishfellow-alimpingparsonofthenameofPlatitude，who，theysaid，wasthinkingofturningPapist，andwasmuchinhiscompany；Iwasstandingbehindthepillarofapiazza，andashepassedhewaslaughingheartily。O
　　hewasastrangefellow，thatsamered-hairedacquaintanceofours!
　　’AfterwehadbeenatRomeaboutsixweeksouroldfriendthepriestofNaplesarrived，butwithouthissubordinate，forwhoseserviceshenowperhapsthoughtthathehadnooccasion。Ibelievehefoundmattersinourfamilywearingalmostasfavourableanaspectashecoulddesire：withwhathehadpreviouslytaughtthemandshownthematNaplesandelsewhere，andwithwhatthered-