’Andwhatwillyoudowithyourriches,’saidI,’whenyouhaveobtainedthem?Willyousitdownandmuseuponthem,orwillyoudeposittheminacellar,andgodownonceadaytostareatthem?
  Ihaveheardsaythatthefulfilmentofone’swishesisinvariablytheprecursorofextrememisery,andforsoothIcanscarcelyconceiveamorehorriblestateofexistencethantobewithoutahopeorwish。’
  ’Itisbadenough,Idaresay,’saidtheArmenian;’itwill,however,betimeenoughtothinkofdisposingofthemoneywhenI
  haveprocuredit。Istillfallshortbyavastsumofthetwohundredthousandpounds。’
  Ihadoccasionallymuchconversationwithhimonthestateandprospectsofhisnation,especiallyofthatpartofitwhichstillcontinuedintheoriginalcountryoftheHaiks-Araratanditsconfines,which,itappeared,hehadfrequentlyvisited。HeinformedmethatsincethedeathofthelastHaikmonarch,whichoccurredintheeleventhcentury,Armeniahadbeengovernedbothtemporallyandspirituallybycertainpersonagescalledpatriarchs;
  theirtemporalauthority,however,wasmuchcircumscribedbythePersianandTurk,especiallytheformer,ofwhomtheArmenianspokewithmuchhatred,whilsttheirspiritualauthorityhadatvarioustimesbeenconsiderablyunderminedbytheemissariesofthePapaofRome,astheArmeniancalledhim。
  ’ThePapaofRomesenthisemissariesatanearlyperiodamongstus,’saidtheArmenian,’seducingthemindsofweak-headedpeople,persuadingthemthatthehillocksofRomearehigherthantheridgesofArarat;thattheRomanPapahasmoretosayinheaventhantheArmenianpatriarch,andthatpunyLatinisabetterlanguagethannervousandsonorousHaik。’
  ’Theyarebothdialects,’saidI,’ofthelanguageofMr。
  Petulengro,oneofwhoseraceIbelievetohavebeentheoriginalfounderofRome;but,withrespecttoreligion,whatarethechiefpointsofyourfaith?youareChristians,Ibelieve。’
  ’Yes,’saidtheArmenian,’weareChristiansinourway;webelieveinGod,theHolySpirit,andSaviour,thoughwearenotpreparedtoadmitthatthelastpersonageisnotonlyhimself,buttheothertwo。Webelieve……’andthentheArmeniantoldmeofseveralthingswhichtheHaiksbelievedordisbelieved。’Butwhatwefindmosthardofalltobelieve,’saidhe,’isthatthemanofthemole-hillsisentitledtoourallegiance,henotbeingaHaik,orunderstandingtheHaiklanguage。’
  ’But,byyourownconfession,’saidI,’hehasintroducedaschisminyournation,andhasamongstyoumanythatbelieveinhim。’
  ’Itistrue,’saidtheArmenian,IthatevenontheconfinesofAraratthereareagreatnumberwhoconsiderthatmountaintobelowerthanthehillocksofRome;butthegreaternumberofdegenerateArmeniansaretobefoundamongstthosewhohavewanderedtothewest;mostoftheHaikchurchesofthewestconsiderRometobehigherthanArarat-mostoftheArmeniansofthisplaceholdthatdogma;I,however,havealwaysstoodfirminthecontraryopinion。
  ’Ha!ha!’-heretheArmenianlaughedinhispeculiarmanner-
  ’talkingofthismatterputsmeinmindofanadventurewhichlatelybefellme,withoneoftheemissariesofthePapaofRome,forthePapaofRomehasatpresentmanyemissariesinthiscountry,inordertoseducethepeoplefromtheirownquietreligiontothesavageheresyofRome;thisfellowcametomepartlyinthehopeofconvertingme,butprincipallytoextortmoneyforthepurposeoffurtheringthedesignsofRomeinthiscountry。Ihumouredthefellowatfirst,keepinghiminplayfornearlyamonth,deceivingandlaughingathim。Atlasthediscoveredthathecouldmakenothingofme,anddepartedwiththescowlofCaiaphas,whilstIcriedafterhim,’TherootsofAraratareDEEPERthanthoseofRome。’
  TheArmenianhadoccasionallyrevertedtothesubjectofthetranslationoftheHaikEsop,whichhehadstillalurkingdesirethatIshouldexecute;butIhadinvariablydeclinedtheundertaking,without,however,statingmyreasons。Ononeoccasion,whenwehadbeenconversingonthesubject,theArmenian,whohadbeenobservingmycountenanceforsometimewithmuchattention,remarked,’Perhaps,afterall,youareright,andyoumightemployyourtimetobetteradvantage。Literatureisafinething,especiallyHaikliterature,butneitherthatnoranyotherwouldbelikelytoserveasafoundationtoaman’sfortune:andtomakeafortuneshouldbetheprincipalaimofeveryone’slife;
  thereforelistentome。AcceptaseatatthedeskoppositetomyMoldavianclerk,andreceivetherudimentsofamerchant’seducation。YoushallbeinstructedintheArmenianwayofdoingbusiness-Ithinkyouwouldmakeanexcellentmerchant。’
  ’Whydoyouthinkso?’
  ’BecauseyouhavesomethingoftheArmenianlook。’
  ’Iunderstandyou,’saidI;’youmeantosaythatIsquint!’
  ’Notexactly,’saidtheArmenian,’butthereiscertainlyakindofirregularityinyourfeatures。Oneeyeappearstomelargerthantheother-nevermind,butratherrejoice;inthatirregularityconsistsyourstrength。Allpeoplewithregularfeaturesarefools;itisveryhardforthem,you’llsay,butthereisnohelp:
  allwecando,whoarenotinsuchapredicament,istopitythosewhoare。Well!willyouacceptmyoffer?No!youareasingularindividual;butImustnotforgetmyownconcerns。Imustnowgoforth,havinganappointmentbywhichIhopetomakemoney。’
  CHAPTERL
  Wishfulfilled-Extraordinaryfigure-Bueno-Noah-Thetwofaces-Idon’tblamehim-Toofondofmoney-WereIanArmenian。
  THEfulfilmentoftheArmenian’sgrandwishwasnearerathandthaneitherheorIhadanticipated。Partlyowingtothesuccessofaboldspeculation,inwhichhehadsometimepreviouslyengaged,andpartlyowingtothebequestofalargesumofmoneybyoneofhisnationwhodiedatthisperiodinParis,hefoundhimselfinthepossessionofafortunesomewhatexceedingtwohundredthousandpounds;thisfacthecommunicatedtomeoneeveningaboutanhourafterthecloseof’Change;thehouratwhichIgenerallycalled,andatwhichImostlyfoundhimathome。
  ’Well,’saidI,’andwhatdoyouintendtodonext?’
  ’Iscarcelyknow,’saidtheArmenian。’Iwasthinkingofthatwhenyoucamein。Idon’tseeanythingthatIcando,savegoingoninmyformercourse。Afterall,Iwasperhapstoomoderateinmakingthepossessionoftwohundredthousandpoundsthesummitofmyambition;therearemanyindividualsinthistownwhopossessthreetimesthatsum,andarenotyetsatisfied。No,IthinkIcandonobetterthanpursuetheoldcareer;whoknowsbutImaymakethetwohundredthousandthreeorfour?-thereisalreadyasurplus,whichisanencouragement;however,wewillconsiderthematteroveragobletofwine;IhaveobservedoflatethatyouhavebecomepartialtomyCyprus。’
  Anditcametopassthat,aswewereseatedovertheCypruswine,weheardaknockatthedoor。’Adelante!’criedtheArmenian;
  whereuponthedooropened,andinwalkedasomewhatextraordinaryfigure-amaninalongloosetunicofastuffstripedwithblackandyellow;breechesofplushvelvet,silkstockings,andshoeswithsilverbuckles。Onhisheadheworeahigh-peakedhat;hewastall,hadahookednose,andinagewasaboutfifty。
  ’Welcome,RabbiManasseh,’saidtheArmenian。’Iknowyourknock-
  youarewelcome;sitdown。’
  ’Iamwelcome,’saidManasseh,sittingdown;’he-he-he!youknowmyknock-Ibringyoumoney-BUENO!’
  Therewassomethingverypeculiarinthesoundofthatbueno-I
  neverforgotit。
  ThereuponaconversationensuedbetweenRabbiManassehandtheArmenian,inalanguagewhichIknewtobeSpanish,thoughapeculiardialect。Itrelatedtoamercantiletransaction。TheRabbisighedheavilyashedeliveredtotheotheraconsiderablesumofmoney。
  ’Itisright,’saidtheArmenian,handingareceipt。’Itisright;
  andIamquitesatisfied。’
  ’Youaresatisfied-youhavetakenmoney。BUENO,Ihavenothingtosayagainstyourbeingsatisfied。’
  ’Come,Rabbi,’saidtheArmenian,’donotdespond;itmaybeyourturnnexttotakemoney;inthemeantime,can’tyoubepersuadedtotastemyCyprus?’
  ’He-he-he!senor,youknowIdonotlovewine。IloveNoahwhenheishimself;but,asJanus,Ilovehimnot。Butyouaremerry;BUENO,youhavearighttobeso。’
  ’Excuseme,’saidI;’butdoesNoaheverappearasJanus?’
  ’He-he-he!’saidtheRabbi,’heonlyappearedasJanusonce-
  unavezquandoestuvoborracho;whichmeans-’
  ’Iunderstand,’saidI;’whenhewas……’andIdrewthesideofmyrighthandsharplyacrossmyleftwrist。
  ’Areyouoneofourpeople?’saidtheRabbi。
  ’No,’saidI,’IamoneoftheGoyim;butIamonlyhalfenlightened。WhyshouldNoahbeJanuswhenhewasinthatstate?’
  ’He-he-he!youmustknowthatinLasanakhadeswineisjanin。’
  ’InArmenian,kini,’saidI;’inWelsh,gwin;Latin,vinum;butdoyouthinkthatJanusandjaninareone?’
  ’DoIthink?Don’tthecommentatorssayso?DoesnotMasterLeoAbarbenelsaysoinhisDIALOGUESOFDIVINELOVE’?
  ’But,’saidI,’IalwaysthoughtthatJanuswasagodoftheancientRomans,whostoodinatempleopenintimeofwar,andshutintimeofpeace;hewasrepresentedwithtwofaces,which-which-’