’Andwhatwillyoudowithyourriches,’saidI,’whenyouhaveobtainedthem?Willyousitdownandmuseuponthem,orwillyoudeposittheminacellar,andgodownonceadaytostareatthem?
Ihaveheardsaythatthefulfilmentofone’swishesisinvariablytheprecursorofextrememisery,andforsoothIcanscarcelyconceiveamorehorriblestateofexistencethantobewithoutahopeorwish。’
’Itisbadenough,Idaresay,’saidtheArmenian;’itwill,however,betimeenoughtothinkofdisposingofthemoneywhenI
haveprocuredit。Istillfallshortbyavastsumofthetwohundredthousandpounds。’
Ihadoccasionallymuchconversationwithhimonthestateandprospectsofhisnation,especiallyofthatpartofitwhichstillcontinuedintheoriginalcountryoftheHaiks-Araratanditsconfines,which,itappeared,hehadfrequentlyvisited。HeinformedmethatsincethedeathofthelastHaikmonarch,whichoccurredintheeleventhcentury,Armeniahadbeengovernedbothtemporallyandspirituallybycertainpersonagescalledpatriarchs;
theirtemporalauthority,however,wasmuchcircumscribedbythePersianandTurk,especiallytheformer,ofwhomtheArmenianspokewithmuchhatred,whilsttheirspiritualauthorityhadatvarioustimesbeenconsiderablyunderminedbytheemissariesofthePapaofRome,astheArmeniancalledhim。
’ThePapaofRomesenthisemissariesatanearlyperiodamongstus,’saidtheArmenian,’seducingthemindsofweak-headedpeople,persuadingthemthatthehillocksofRomearehigherthantheridgesofArarat;thattheRomanPapahasmoretosayinheaventhantheArmenianpatriarch,andthatpunyLatinisabetterlanguagethannervousandsonorousHaik。’
’Theyarebothdialects,’saidI,’ofthelanguageofMr。
Petulengro,oneofwhoseraceIbelievetohavebeentheoriginalfounderofRome;but,withrespecttoreligion,whatarethechiefpointsofyourfaith?youareChristians,Ibelieve。’
’Yes,’saidtheArmenian,’weareChristiansinourway;webelieveinGod,theHolySpirit,andSaviour,thoughwearenotpreparedtoadmitthatthelastpersonageisnotonlyhimself,buttheothertwo。Webelieve……’andthentheArmeniantoldmeofseveralthingswhichtheHaiksbelievedordisbelieved。’Butwhatwefindmosthardofalltobelieve,’saidhe,’isthatthemanofthemole-hillsisentitledtoourallegiance,henotbeingaHaik,orunderstandingtheHaiklanguage。’
’But,byyourownconfession,’saidI,’hehasintroducedaschisminyournation,andhasamongstyoumanythatbelieveinhim。’
’Itistrue,’saidtheArmenian,IthatevenontheconfinesofAraratthereareagreatnumberwhoconsiderthatmountaintobelowerthanthehillocksofRome;butthegreaternumberofdegenerateArmeniansaretobefoundamongstthosewhohavewanderedtothewest;mostoftheHaikchurchesofthewestconsiderRometobehigherthanArarat-mostoftheArmeniansofthisplaceholdthatdogma;I,however,havealwaysstoodfirminthecontraryopinion。
’Ha!ha!’-heretheArmenianlaughedinhispeculiarmanner-
’talkingofthismatterputsmeinmindofanadventurewhichlatelybefellme,withoneoftheemissariesofthePapaofRome,forthePapaofRomehasatpresentmanyemissariesinthiscountry,inordertoseducethepeoplefromtheirownquietreligiontothesavageheresyofRome;thisfellowcametomepartlyinthehopeofconvertingme,butprincipallytoextortmoneyforthepurposeoffurtheringthedesignsofRomeinthiscountry。Ihumouredthefellowatfirst,keepinghiminplayfornearlyamonth,deceivingandlaughingathim。Atlasthediscoveredthathecouldmakenothingofme,anddepartedwiththescowlofCaiaphas,whilstIcriedafterhim,’TherootsofAraratareDEEPERthanthoseofRome。’
TheArmenianhadoccasionallyrevertedtothesubjectofthetranslationoftheHaikEsop,whichhehadstillalurkingdesirethatIshouldexecute;butIhadinvariablydeclinedtheundertaking,without,however,statingmyreasons。Ononeoccasion,whenwehadbeenconversingonthesubject,theArmenian,whohadbeenobservingmycountenanceforsometimewithmuchattention,remarked,’Perhaps,afterall,youareright,andyoumightemployyourtimetobetteradvantage。Literatureisafinething,especiallyHaikliterature,butneitherthatnoranyotherwouldbelikelytoserveasafoundationtoaman’sfortune:andtomakeafortuneshouldbetheprincipalaimofeveryone’slife;
thereforelistentome。AcceptaseatatthedeskoppositetomyMoldavianclerk,andreceivetherudimentsofamerchant’seducation。YoushallbeinstructedintheArmenianwayofdoingbusiness-Ithinkyouwouldmakeanexcellentmerchant。’
’Whydoyouthinkso?’
’BecauseyouhavesomethingoftheArmenianlook。’
’Iunderstandyou,’saidI;’youmeantosaythatIsquint!’
’Notexactly,’saidtheArmenian,’butthereiscertainlyakindofirregularityinyourfeatures。Oneeyeappearstomelargerthantheother-nevermind,butratherrejoice;inthatirregularityconsistsyourstrength。Allpeoplewithregularfeaturesarefools;itisveryhardforthem,you’llsay,butthereisnohelp:
allwecando,whoarenotinsuchapredicament,istopitythosewhoare。Well!willyouacceptmyoffer?No!youareasingularindividual;butImustnotforgetmyownconcerns。Imustnowgoforth,havinganappointmentbywhichIhopetomakemoney。’
CHAPTERL
Wishfulfilled-Extraordinaryfigure-Bueno-Noah-Thetwofaces-Idon’tblamehim-Toofondofmoney-WereIanArmenian。
THEfulfilmentoftheArmenian’sgrandwishwasnearerathandthaneitherheorIhadanticipated。Partlyowingtothesuccessofaboldspeculation,inwhichhehadsometimepreviouslyengaged,andpartlyowingtothebequestofalargesumofmoneybyoneofhisnationwhodiedatthisperiodinParis,hefoundhimselfinthepossessionofafortunesomewhatexceedingtwohundredthousandpounds;thisfacthecommunicatedtomeoneeveningaboutanhourafterthecloseof’Change;thehouratwhichIgenerallycalled,andatwhichImostlyfoundhimathome。
’Well,’saidI,’andwhatdoyouintendtodonext?’
’Iscarcelyknow,’saidtheArmenian。’Iwasthinkingofthatwhenyoucamein。Idon’tseeanythingthatIcando,savegoingoninmyformercourse。Afterall,Iwasperhapstoomoderateinmakingthepossessionoftwohundredthousandpoundsthesummitofmyambition;therearemanyindividualsinthistownwhopossessthreetimesthatsum,andarenotyetsatisfied。No,IthinkIcandonobetterthanpursuetheoldcareer;whoknowsbutImaymakethetwohundredthousandthreeorfour?-thereisalreadyasurplus,whichisanencouragement;however,wewillconsiderthematteroveragobletofwine;IhaveobservedoflatethatyouhavebecomepartialtomyCyprus。’
Anditcametopassthat,aswewereseatedovertheCypruswine,weheardaknockatthedoor。’Adelante!’criedtheArmenian;
whereuponthedooropened,andinwalkedasomewhatextraordinaryfigure-amaninalongloosetunicofastuffstripedwithblackandyellow;breechesofplushvelvet,silkstockings,andshoeswithsilverbuckles。Onhisheadheworeahigh-peakedhat;hewastall,hadahookednose,andinagewasaboutfifty。
’Welcome,RabbiManasseh,’saidtheArmenian。’Iknowyourknock-
youarewelcome;sitdown。’
’Iamwelcome,’saidManasseh,sittingdown;’he-he-he!youknowmyknock-Ibringyoumoney-BUENO!’
Therewassomethingverypeculiarinthesoundofthatbueno-I
neverforgotit。
ThereuponaconversationensuedbetweenRabbiManassehandtheArmenian,inalanguagewhichIknewtobeSpanish,thoughapeculiardialect。Itrelatedtoamercantiletransaction。TheRabbisighedheavilyashedeliveredtotheotheraconsiderablesumofmoney。
’Itisright,’saidtheArmenian,handingareceipt。’Itisright;
andIamquitesatisfied。’
’Youaresatisfied-youhavetakenmoney。BUENO,Ihavenothingtosayagainstyourbeingsatisfied。’
’Come,Rabbi,’saidtheArmenian,’donotdespond;itmaybeyourturnnexttotakemoney;inthemeantime,can’tyoubepersuadedtotastemyCyprus?’
’He-he-he!senor,youknowIdonotlovewine。IloveNoahwhenheishimself;but,asJanus,Ilovehimnot。Butyouaremerry;BUENO,youhavearighttobeso。’
’Excuseme,’saidI;’butdoesNoaheverappearasJanus?’
’He-he-he!’saidtheRabbi,’heonlyappearedasJanusonce-
unavezquandoestuvoborracho;whichmeans-’
’Iunderstand,’saidI;’whenhewas……’andIdrewthesideofmyrighthandsharplyacrossmyleftwrist。
’Areyouoneofourpeople?’saidtheRabbi。
’No,’saidI,’IamoneoftheGoyim;butIamonlyhalfenlightened。WhyshouldNoahbeJanuswhenhewasinthatstate?’
’He-he-he!youmustknowthatinLasanakhadeswineisjanin。’
’InArmenian,kini,’saidI;’inWelsh,gwin;Latin,vinum;butdoyouthinkthatJanusandjaninareone?’
’DoIthink?Don’tthecommentatorssayso?DoesnotMasterLeoAbarbenelsaysoinhisDIALOGUESOFDIVINELOVE’?
’But,’saidI,’IalwaysthoughtthatJanuswasagodoftheancientRomans,whostoodinatempleopenintimeofwar,andshutintimeofpeace;hewasrepresentedwithtwofaces,which-which-’