however,here’sourbrotherwillperhapslettheworldknowsomethingaboutus。’
’Nothe,’saidtheother,withasigh;’he’llhavequiteenoughtodoinwritinghisownlils,andtellingtheworldhowhandsomeandcleverhewas;andwhocanblamehim?NotI。IfIcouldwritelils,everywordshouldbeaboutmyselfandmyowntachoRommanis-
myownlawfulweddedwife,whichisthesamething。Itellyouwhat,brother,IonceheardawisemansayinBrummagem,that“thereisnothinglikeblowingone’sownhorn,“whichIconceivetobemuchthesamethingaswritingone’sownlil。’
Afteralittlemoreconversation,Mr。Petulengroarose,andmotionedmetofollowhim。’Onlyeighteenpenceintheworld,brother?’saidhe,aswewalkedtogether。
’Nothingmore,Iassureyou。HowcameyoutoaskmehowmuchmoneyIhad?’
’Becausetherewassomethinginyourlook,brother,somethingverymuchresemblingthatwhichapersonshowethwhodoesnotcarrymuchmoneyinhispocket。Iwaslookingatmyownfacethismorninginmywife’slooking-glass-Ididnotlookasyoudo,brother。’
’Ibelieveyoursolemotiveforinquiring,’saidI,’wastohaveanopportunityofventingafoolishboast,andtoletmeknowthatyouwereinpossessionoffiftypounds。’
’Whatistheuseofhavingmoneyunlessyouletpeopleknowyouhaveit?’saidMr。Petulengro。’Itisnoteveryonecanreadfaces,brother;and,unlessyouknewIhadmoney,howcouldyouaskmetolendyouany?’
’Iamnotgoingtoaskyoutolendmeany。’
’Thenyoumayhaveitwithoutasking;asIsaidbefore,Ihavefiftypounds,alllawfully-earntmoney,gotbyfightinginthering-Iwilllendyouthat,brother。’
’Youareverykind,’saidI;’butIwillnottakeit。’
’Thenthehalfofit?’
’Northehalfofit;butitisgettingtowardsevening,ImustgobacktotheGreatCity。’
’AndwhatwillyoudointheBoroForos?’
’Iknownot,’saidI。
’Earnmoney?
’IfIcan。’
’Andifyoucan’t?’
’Starve!’
’Youlookill,brother,’saidMr。Petulengro。
’Idonotfeelwell;theGreatCitydoesnotagreewithme。ShouldIbesofortunateastoearnsomemoney,IwouldleavetheBigCity,andtaketothewoodsandfields。’
’Youmaydothat,brother,’saidMr。Petulengro,’whetheryouhavemoneyornot。Ourtentsandhorsesareontheothersideofyonderwoodedhill,comeandstaywithus;weshallallbegladofyourcompany,butmoreespeciallymyselfandmywifePakomovna。’
’Whathillisthat?’Idemanded。
AndthenMr。Petulengrotoldmethenameofthehill。’Weshallstayont’othersideofthehillafortnight,’hecontinued;’and,asyouarefondoflil-writing,youmayemployyourselfprofitablywhilstthere。Youcanwritethelilofhimwhosedockgallopsdownthathilleverynight,evenasthelivingmanwaswonttodolongago。’
’Whowashe?’Idemanded。
’JemmyAbershaw,’saidMr。Petulengro;’oneofthosewhomwecallBorodromengroes,andthegorgioshighway-men。Ionceheardaryesaythatthelifeofthatmanwouldfetchmuchmoney;socometotheothersideofthehill,andwritethelilinthetentofJasperandhiswifePakomovna。’
AtfirstIfeltinclinedtoaccepttheinvitationofMr。
Petulengro;alittleconsideration,however,determinedmetodeclineit。IhadalwaysbeenonexcellenttermswithMr。
Petulengro,butIreflectedthatpeoplemightbeexcellentfriendswhentheymetoccasionallyinthestreet,orontheheath,orinthewood;butthattheseverypeoplewhenlivingtogetherinahouse,tosaynothingofatent,mightquarrel。Ireflected,moreover,thatMr。Petulengrohadawife。Ihadalways,itistrue,beenagreatfavouritewithMrs。Petulengro,whohadfrequentlybeenloudinhercommendationoftheyoungrye,asshecalledme,andhisturnofconversation;butthiswasatatimewhenIstoodinneedofnothing,livedundermyparents’roof,andonlyvisitedatthetentstodivertandtobediverted。Thetimeswerealtered,andIwasbynomeanscertainthatMrs。Petulengro,whensheshoulddiscoverthatIwasinneedbothofshelterandsubsistence,mightnotalterheropinionbothwithrespecttotheindividualandwhathesaid-stigmatisingmyconversationassaucydiscourse,andmyselfasascurvycompanion;andthatshemightbringoverherhusbandtoherownwayofthinking,provided,indeed,heshouldneedanyconducting。Itherefore,thoughwithoutdeclaringmyreasons,declinedtheofferofMr。Petulengro,andpresently,aftershakinghimbythehand,bentagainmycoursetowardstheGreatCity。
IcrossedtheriveratabridgeconsiderablyabovethathightofLondon;for,notbeingacquaintedwiththeway,Imissedtheturningwhichshouldhavebroughtmetothelatter。SuddenlyI
foundmyselfinastreetofwhichIhadsomerecollection,andmechanicallystoppedbeforethewindowofashopatwhichvariouspublicationswereexposed;itwasthatofthebooksellertowhomI
hadlastappliedinthehopeofsellingmyballadsorAbGwilym,andwhohadgivenmehopesthat,intheeventofmywritingadecentnovel,oratale,hewouldproveapurchaser。AsIstoodlistlesslylookingatthewindow,andthepublicationswhichitcontained,Iobservedapaperaffixedtotheglassbywaferswithsomethingwrittenuponit。Idrewyetnearerforthepurposeofinspectingit;thewritingwasinafairroundhand-’ANovelorTaleismuchwanted,’waswhatwaswritten。
CHAPTERLV
Breadandwater-Pairplay-Fashion-ColonelB——JosephSell-
Thekindlyglow-Easiestmannerimaginable。
’IMUSTdosomething,’saidI,asIsatthatnightinmylonelyapartment,withsomebreadandapitcherofwaterbeforeme。
Thereupontakingsomeofthebread,andeatingit,IconsideredwhatIwastodo。’IhavenoideawhatIamtodo,’saidI,asI
stretchedmyhandtowardsthepitcher,’unlessandhereItookaconsiderabledraughtIwriteataleoranovel-Thatbookseller,’
Icontinued,speakingtomyself,’iscertainlymuchinneedofataleoranovel,otherwisehewouldnotadvertiseforone。SupposeIwriteone,Iappeartohavenootherchanceofextricatingmyselffrommypresentdifficulties;surelyitwasFatethatconductedmetohiswindow。
’Iwilldoit,’saidI,asIstruckmyhandagainstthetable;’I
willdoit。’Suddenlyaheavycloudofdespondencycameoverme。
CouldIdoit?HadItheimaginationrequisitetowriteataleoranovel?’Yes,yes,’saidI,asIstruckmyhandagainagainstthetable,’Icanmanageit;givemefairplay,andIcanaccomplishanything。’
ButshouldIhavefairplay?ImusthavesomethingtomaintainmyselfwithwhilstIwrotemytale,andIhadbuteighteenpenceintheworld。WouldthatmaintainmewhilstIwrotemytale?Yes,I
thoughtitwould,providedIatebread,whichdidnotcostmuch,anddrankwater,whichcostnothing;itwaspoordiet,itwastrue,butbettermenthanmyselfhadwrittenonbreadandwater;hadnotthebigmantoldmeso?orsomethingtothateffect,monthsbefore?
Itwastruetherewasmylodgingtopayfor;butuptothepresenttimeIowednothing,andperhaps,bythetimethatthepeopleofthehouseaskedmeformoney,Ishouldhavewrittenataleoranovel,whichwouldbringmeinmoney;Ihadpaper,pens,andink,and,letmenotforgetthem,Ihadcandlesinmycloset,allpaidfor,tolightmeduringmynightwork。Enough,Iwouldgodoggedlytoworkuponmytaleornovel。
Butwhatwasthetaleornoveltobeabout?Wasittobeataleoffashionablelife,aboutSirHarrySomebody,andtheCountesssomething?ButIknewnothingaboutfashionablepeople,andcaredless;thereforehowshouldIattempttodescribefashionablelife?
Whatshouldthetaleconsistof?Thelifeandadventuresofsomeone。Good-butofwhom?DidnotMr。PetulengromentiononeJemmyAbershaw?Yes。DidhenottellmethatthelifeandadventuresofJemmyAbershawwouldbringinmuchmoneytothewriter?Yes,butI
knewnothingofthatworthy。Iheard,itistrue,fromMr。
Petulengro,thatwhenalivehecommittedrobberiesonthehill,onthesideofwhichMr。Petulengrohadpitchedhistents,andthathisghoststillhauntedthehillatmidnight;butthosewerescantmaterialsoutofwhichtowritetheman’slife。Itisprobableindeed,thatMr。PetulengrowouldbeabletosupplymewithfurthermaterialsifIshouldapplytohim,butIwasinahurry,andcouldnotaffordthetimewhichitwouldbenecessarytospendinpassingtoandfromMr。Petulengro,andconsultinghim。Moreover,mypriderevoltedattheideaofbeingbeholdentoMr。Petulengroforthematerialsofthehistory。No,IwouldnotwritethehistoryofAbershaw。Whosethen-HarrySimms?Alas,thelifeofHarrySimmshadbeenalreadymuchbetterwrittenbyhimselfthanIcouldhopetodoit;and,afterall,HarrySimms,likeJemmyAbershaw,wasmerelyarobber。Both,thoughboldandextraordinarymen,weremerelyhighwaymen。IquestionedwhetherIcouldcomposeatalelikelytoexciteanyparticularinterestoutoftheexploitsofamererobber。Iwantacharacterformyhero,thoughtI,somethinghigherthanamererobber;someonelike-likeColonelB。Bytheway,whyshouldInotwritethelifeandadventuresofColonelB-,ofLondonderryinIreland?