AtrulysingularmanwasthissameColonelB-,ofLondonderryinIreland;apersonageofmoststrangeandincrediblefeatsanddaring,whohadbeenapartizansoldier,abravo-who,assistedbycertaindiscontentedtroopers,nearlysucceededinstealingthecrownandregaliafromtheTowerofLondon;whoattemptedtohangtheDukeofOrmondatTyburn;andwhosestrange,eventfulcareerdidnotterminateevenwithhislife,hisdeadbody,onthecirculationofanunfoundedreportthathedidnotcometohisdeathbyfairmeans,havingbeenexhumedbythemobofhisnativeplace,wherehehadretiredtodie,andcarriedinthecoffinthroughthestreets。
  OfhislifeIhadinsertedanaccountintheNEWGATELIVESAND
  TRIALS;itwasbareandmeagre,andwritteninthestiff,awkwardstyleoftheseventeenthcentury;ithad,however,stronglycaptivatedmyimagination,andInowthoughtthatoutofitsomethingbettercouldbemade;that,ifIaddedtotheadventures,andpurifiedthestyle,Imightfashionoutofitaverydecenttaleornovel。Onasudden,however,theproverbofmendingoldgarmentswithnewclothoccurredtome。’Iamafraid,’saidI,’anynewadventureswhichIcaninventwillnotfadgewellwiththeoldtale;onewillbutspoiltheother。’IhadbetterhavenothingtodowithColonelB-,thoughtI,butboldlyandindependentlysitdownandwritethelifeofJosephSell。
  ThisJosephSell,dearreader,wasafictitiouspersonagewhohadjustcomeintomyhead。Ihadneverevenheardofthename,butjustatthatmomentithappenedtocomeintomyhead;Iwouldwriteanentirelyfictitiousnarrative,calledtheLIFEANDADVENTURESOF
  JOSEPHSELL,thegreattraveller。
  Ihadbetterbeginatonce,thoughtI;andremovingthebreadandthejug,whichlatterwasnowempty,Iseizedpenandpaper,andforthwithessayedtowritethelifeofJosephSell,butsoondiscoveredthatitismucheasiertoresolveuponathingthantoachieveit,oreventocommenceit;forthelifeofmeIdidnotknowhowtobegin,and,aftertryinginvaintowritealine,I
  thoughtitwouldbeaswelltogotobed,anddefermyprojectedundertakingtillthemorrow。
  SoIwenttobed,butnottosleep。DuringthegreaterpartofthenightIlayawake,musingupontheworkwhichIhaddeterminedtoexecute。Foralongtimemybrainwasdryandunproductive;I
  couldformnoplanwhichappearedfeasible。AtlengthIfeltwithinmybrainakindlyglow;itwasthecommencementofinspiration;inafewminutesIhadformedmyplan;Ithenbegantoimaginethescenesandtheincidents。Scenesandincidentsflittedbeforemymind’seyesoplentifully,thatIknewnothowtodisposeofthem;Iwasinaregularembarrassment。AtlengthIgotoutofthedifficultyintheeasiestmannerimaginable,namely,byconsigningtothedepthsofoblivionallthefeeblerandlessstimulantscenesandincidents,andretainingthebetterandmoreimpressiveones。BeforemorningIhadsketchedthewholeworkonthetabletsofmymind,andthenresignedmyselftosleepinthepleasingconvictionthatthemostdifficultpartofmyundertakingwasachieved。
  CHAPTERLVI
  Considerablysobered-Powerofwriting-Thetempter-Hungrytalent-Workconcluded。
  RATHERlateinthemorningIawoke;forafewminutesIlaystill,perfectlystill;myimaginationwasconsiderablysobered;thescenesandsituationswhichhadpleasedmesomuchovernightappearedtomeinafarlesscaptivatingguisethatmorning。I
  feltlanguidandalmosthopeless-thethought,however,ofmysituationsoonrousedme-Imustmakeanefforttoimprovethepostureofmyaffairs;therewasnotimetobelost;soIsprangoutofbed,breakfastedonbreadandwater,andthensatdowndoggedlytowritethelifeofJosephSell。
  Itwasagreatthingtohaveformedmyplan,andtohavearrangedthescenesinmyhead,asIhaddoneontheprecedingnight。Thechiefthingrequisiteatpresentwasthemeremechanicalactofcommittingthemtopaper。ThisIdidnotfindatfirstsoeasyasIcouldwish-Iwantedmechanicalskill;butIpersevered,andbeforeeveningIhadwrittentenpages。Ipartookofsomebreadandwater;andbeforeIwenttobedthatnight,IhadcompletedfifteenpagesofmylifeofJosephSell。
  ThenextdayIresumedmytask-Ifoundmypowerofwritingconsiderablyincreased;mypenhurriedrapidlyoverthepaper-mybrainwasinawonderfullyteemingstate;manyscenesandvisionswhichIhadnotthoughtofbeforewereevolved,and,asfastasevolved,writtendown;theyseemedtobemorepattomypurpose,andmorenaturaltomyhistory,thanmanyotherswhichIhadimaginedbefore,andwhichImadenowgiveplacetothesenewercreations:byaboutmidnightIhadaddedthirtyfreshpagestomyLIFEANDADVENTURESOFJOSEPHSELL。
  Thethirddayarose-itwasdarkanddrearyoutofdoors,andI
  passeditdrearilyenoughwithin;mybrainappearedtohavelostmuchofitsformerglow,andmypenmuchofitspower;I,however,toiledon,butatmidnighthadonlyaddedsevenpagestomyhistoryofJosephSell。
  Onthefourthdaythesunshonebrightly-Iarose,and,havingbreakfastedasusual,Ifelltowork。Mybrainwasthisdaywonderfullyprolific,andmypenneverbeforeorsinceglidedsorapidlyoverthepaper;towardsnightIbegantofeelstrangelyaboutthebackpartofmyhead,andmywholesystemwasextraordinarilyaffected。Ilikewiseoccasionallysawdouble-atempternowseemedtobeatworkwithinme。
  ’Youhadbetterleaveoffnowforashortspace,’saidthetempter,’andgooutanddrinkapintofbeer;youhavestilloneshillingleft-ifyougoonatthisrate,youwillgomad-gooutandspendsixpence,youcanaffordit,morethanhalfyourworkisdone。’Iwasabouttoobeythesuggestionofthetempter,whentheideastruckmethat,ifIdidnotcompletetheworkwhilstthefitwasonme,Ishouldnevercompleteit;soIheldon。IamalmostafraidtostatehowmanypagesIwrotethatdayofthelifeofJosephSell。
  FromthistimeIproceededinasomewhatmoreleisurelymanner;
  but,asIdrewnearerandnearertothecompletionofmytask,dreadfulfearsanddespondenciescameoverme-Itwillbetoolate,thoughtI;bythetimeIhavefinishedthework,thebooksellerwillhavebeensuppliedwithataleoranovel。Isitprobablethat,inatownlikethis,wheretalentissoabundant-
  hungrytalenttoo-abooksellercanadvertiseforataleoranovel,withoutbeingsuppliedwithhalfadozenintwenty-fourhours?Imayaswellflingdownmypen-Iamwritingtonopurpose。Andthesethoughtscameovermymindsooften,thatatlast,inutterdespair,Iflungdownthepen。Whereuponthetempterwithinmesaid-’And,nowyouhaveflungdownthepen,youmayaswellflingyourselfoutofthewindow;whatremainsforyoutodo?’Why,totakeitupagain,thoughtItomyself,forIdidnotlikethelattersuggestionatall-andthenforthwithI
  resumedthepen,andwrotewithgreatervigourthanbefore,fromaboutsixo’clockintheeveninguntilIcouldhardlysee,whenI
  restedforawhile,whenthetempterwithinmeagainsaid,orappearedtosay-’Allyouhavebeenwritingisstuff,itwillneverdo-adrug-ameredrug’;andmethoughttheselastwordswereutteredinthegrufftonesofthebigpublisher。’Athingmerelytobesneezedat,’avoicelikethatofTaggartadded;andthenIseemedtohearasternutation,-asIprobablydid,for,recoveringfromakindofswoon,Ifoundmyselfshiveringwithcold。ThenextdayIbroughtmyworktoaconclusion。
  Butthetaskofrevisionstillremained;foranhourortwoI
  shrankfromit,andremainedgazingstupidlyatthepileofpaperwhichIhadwrittenover。Iwasallbutexhausted,andIdreaded,oninspectingthesheets,tofindthemfullofabsurditieswhichI
  hadpaidnoregardtointhefurorofcomposition。Butthetask,howevertryingtomynerves,mustbegotover;atlast,inakindofdesperation,Ientereduponit。Itwasfarfromaneasyone;
  therewere,however,fewererrorsandabsurditiesthanIhadanticipated。Abouttwelveo’clockatnightIhadgotoverthetaskofrevision。’To-morrowforthebookseller,’saidI,asmyheadsankonthepillow。’Ohme!’
  CHAPTERLVII
  Nervouslook-Thebookseller’swife-Thelaststake-Terms-Godforbid!-Willyoucometotea?-Alightheart。
  ONarrivingatthebookseller’sshop,Icastanervouslookatthewindow,forthepurposeofobservingwhetherthepaperhadbeenremovedornot。Tomygreatdelightthepaperwasinitsplace;
  withabeatingheartIentered,therewasnobodyintheshop;asI
  stoodatthecounter,however,deliberatingwhetherornotIshouldcallout,thedoorofwhatseemedtobeaback-parlouropened,andoutcameawell-dressedlady-likefemale,ofaboutthirty,withagood-lookingandintelligentcountenance。’Whatisyourbusiness,youngman?’saidshetome,afterIhadmadeherapolitebow。’I
  wishtospeaktothegentlemanofthehouse,’saidI。’Myhusbandisnotwithinatpresent,’shereplied;’whatisyourbusiness?’
  ’Ihavemerelybroughtsomethingtoshowhim,’saidI,’butIwillcallagain。’’Ifyouaretheyounggentlemanwhohasbeenherebefore,’saidthelady,’withpoemsandballads,as,indeed,Iknowyouare,’sheadded,smiling,’forIhaveseenyouthroughtheglassdoor,Iamafraiditwillbeuseless;thatis,’sheaddedwithanothersmile,’ifyoubringusnothingelse。’’Ihavenotbroughtyoupoemsandballadsnow,’saidI,’butsomethingwidelydifferent;Isawyouradvertisementforataleoranovel,andhavewrittensomethingwhichIthinkwillsuit;andhereitis,’I
  added,showingtherollofpaperwhichIheldinmyhand。’Well,’
  saidthebookseller’swife,’youmayleaveit,thoughIcannotpromiseyoumuchchanceofitsbeingaccepted。Myhusbandhasalreadyhadseveralofferedtohim;however,youmayleaveit;giveitme。Areyouafraidtointrustittome?’shedemandedsomewhathastily,observingthatIhesitated。’Excuseme,’saidI,’butitisallIhavetodependuponintheworld;Iamchieflyapprehensivethatitwillnotberead。’’OnthatpointIcanreassureyou,’saidthegoodlady,smiling,andtherewasnowsomethingsweetinhersmile。’Igiveyoumywordthatitshallberead;comeagainto-morrowmorningateleven,when,ifnotapproved,itshallbereturnedtoyou。’