RENEETOLOUISE
　　Mylittlegirlistwomonthsold。SheiscalledJeanne-Athenais，andhasforgodmotherandgodfathermymother，andanoldgrand-uncleofLouis’。
　　AssoonasIpossiblycan，IshallstartformyvisittoChantepleurs，sinceyouarenotafraidofanursingmother。Yourgodsoncansayyournamenow；hecallsit/Matoumer/，forhecan’tsay/c/properly。Youwillbequitedelightedwithhim。Hehasgotallhisteeth，andeatsmeatnowlikeabigboy；heisallovertheplace，trottingaboutlikealittlemouse；butIwatchhimallthetimewithanxiouseyes，anditmakesmemiserablethatIcannotkeephimbymewhenIamlaidup。Thetimeismorethanusuallylongwithme，asthedoctorsconsidersomespecialprecautionsnecessary。Alas!mychild，habitdoesnotinureonetochild-bearing。Therearethesameolddiscomfortsandmisgivings。Howeverdon’tshowthistoFelipe，thislittlegirltakesafterme，andshemayyetcutoutyourArmand。
　　MyfatherthoughtFelipelookingverythin，andmydearpetalsonotquitesoblooming。YettheDucandDuchessedeSoriahavegone；notaloopholeforjealousyisleft!Isthereanytroublewhichyouarehidingfromme？Yourletterisneithersolongnorsofulloflovingthoughtsasusual。Isthisonlyawhimofmydearwhimsicalfriend？
　　Iamrunningontoolong。Mynurseisangrywithmeforwriting，andMlle。Athenaisdel’Estoradewantsherdinner。Farewell，then；writemesomenicelongletters。
　　MME。DEMACUMERTOTHECOMTESSEDEL’ESTORADE
　　Forthefirsttimeinmylife，mydearRenee，Ihavebeenaloneandcrying。Iwassittingunderawillow，onawoodenbenchbythesideofthelongChantepleursmarsh。Theviewthereischarming，butitneedssomemerrychildrentocompleteit，andIwaitforyou。Ihavebeenmarriednearlythreeyears，andnochild!Thethoughtofyourquiverfulldrovemetoexploremyheart。
　　AndthisiswhatIfindthere。“Oh!ifIhadtosufferahundred-foldwhatReneesufferedwhenmygodsonwasborn；ifIhadtoseemychildinconvulsions，evensowouldtoGodthatImighthaveacherubofmyown，likeyourAthenais!“Icanseeherfromhereinmymind’seye，andIknowsheisbeautifulastheday，foryoutellmenothingabouther——thatisjustlikemyRenee!Ibelieveyoudivinemytrouble。
　　Eachtimemyhopesaredisappointed，Ifallapreyforsomedaystotheblackestmelancholy。ThenIcomposesadelegies。WhenshallI
　　embroiderlittlecapsandsewlaceedgingstoencircleatinyhead？
　　Whenchoosethecambricforthebaby-clothes？ShallIneverhearbabylipsshout“Mamma，“andhavemydresspulledbyateasingdespotwhommyheartadores？Aretheretobenowheelmarksofalittlecarriageonthegravel，nobrokentoyslitteredaboutthecourtyard？ShallInevervisitthetoy-shops，asmothersdo，tobuyswords，anddolls，andbaby-houses？Andwillitneverbeminetowatchtheunfoldingofapreciouslife——anotherFelipe，onlymoredear？Iwouldhaveason，ifonlytolearnhowalovercanbemoretooneinhissecondself。
　　Myparkandcastlearecoldanddesolatetome。Achildlesswomanisamonstrosityofnature；weexistonlytobemothers。Oh!mysageinwoman’slivery，howwellyouhaveconnedthebookoflife!Everywhere，too，barrennessisadismalthing。MylifeisalittletoomuchlikeoneofGessner’sorFlorian’ssheepfolds，whichRivarollongedtoseeinvadedbyawolf。Itoohaveitinmetomakesacrifices!Thereareforcesinme，Ifeel，whichFelipehasnousefor；andifIamnottobeamother，Imustbeallowedtoindulgemyselfinsomeromanticsorrow。
　　IhavejustmadethisremarktomybelatedMoor，anditbroughttearstohiseyes。Hecannotstandanyjokingonhislove，soIlethimoffeasily，andonlycalledhimapaladinoffolly。
　　AttimesIamseizedwithadesiretogoonpilgrimage，tobearmylongingstotheshrineofsomemadonnaortoawatering-place。NextwinterIshalltakemedicaladvice。Iamtoomuchenragedwithmyselftowritemore。Good-bye。
　　Awholeyearpassed，mydear，withoutaletter!Whatdoesthismean？I
　　amalittlehurt。DoyousupposethatyourLouis，whocomestoseemealmosteveryalternateday，makesupforyou？Itisnotenoughtoknowthatyouarewellandthateverythingprosperswithyou；forIloveyou，Renee，andIwanttoknowwhatyouarefeelingandthinkingof，justasIsayeverythingtoyou，attheriskofbeingscolded，orcensured，ormisunderstood。Yoursilenceandseclusioninthecountry，atthetimewhenyoumightbeinParisenjoyingalltheParliamentaryhonorsoftheComtedel’Estorade，causemeseriousanxiety。Youknowthatyourhusband’s“giftofgab“andunsparingzealhavewonforhimquiteapositionhere，andhewilldoubtlessreceivesomeverygoodpostwhenthesessionisover。Pray，doyouspendyourlifewritinghimlettersofadvice？NumawasnotsofarremovedfromhisEgeria。
　　WhydidyounottakethisopportunityofseeingParis？Imighthaveenjoyedyourcompanyforfourmonths。Louistoldmeyesterdaythatyouwerecomingtofetchhim，andwouldhaveyourthirdconfinementinParis——youterriblemotherGigogne!AfterbombardingLouiswithqueries，exclamations，andregrets，Iatlastdefeatedhisstrategysofarastodiscoverthathisgrand-uncle，thegodfatherofAthenais，isveryill。NowIbelievethatyou，likeacarefulmother，wouldbequiteequaltoanglingwiththemember’sspeechesandfameforafatlegacyfromyourhusband’slastremainingrelativeonthemother’sside。Keepyourmindeasy，myRenee——weareallatworkforLouis，Lenoncourts，Chaulieus，andthewholebandofMme。deMacumer’sfollowers。Martignacwillprobablyputhimintotheauditdepartment。
　　Butifyouwon’ttellmewhyyouburyyourselfinthecountry，Ishallbecross。
　　Tellme，areyouafraidthatthepoliticalwisdomofthehouseofl’Estoradeshouldseemtocentreinyou？Orisittheuncle’slegacy？
　　PerhapsyouwereafraidyouwouldbelesstoyourchildreninParis？
　　Ah!whatIwouldgivetoknowwhether，afterall，youwerenotsimplytoovaintoshowyourselfinParisforthefirsttimeinyourpresentcondition!Vainthing!Farewell。
　　RENEETOLOUISE
　　Youcomplainofmysilence；haveyouforgotten，then，thosetwolittlebrownheads，atoncemysubjectsandmytyrants？Andastostayingathome，youhaveyourselfhituponseveralofmyreasons。Apartfromtheconditionofourdearuncle，Ididn’twanttodragwithmetoParisaboyoffourandalittlegirlwhowillsoonbethree，whenIamagainexpectingmyconfinement。Ihadnointentionoftroublingyouandupsettingyourhusbandwithsuchaparty。Ididnotcaretoappear，lookingmyworst，inthebrilliantcircleoverwhichyoupreside，andIdetestlifeinhotelsandlodgings。
　　WhenIcometospendthesessioninParis，itwillbeinmyownhouse。
　　Louis’uncle，whenheheardoftherankhisgrand-nephewhadreceived，mademeapresentoftwohundredthousandfrancsthehalfofhissavingswithwhichtobuyahouseinParis，andIhavechargedLouistofindoneinyourneighborhood。Mymotherhasgivenmethirtythousandfrancsforthefurnishing，andIshalldomybestnottodisgracethedearsisterofmyelection——nopunintended。
　　IamgratefultoyouforhavingalreadydonesomuchatCourtforLouis。ButthoughM。deBourmontandM。dePolignachavepaidhimthecomplimentofaskinghimtojointheirministry，Idonotwishsoconspicuousaplaceforhim。Itwouldcommithimtoomuch；andI
　　prefertheAuditOfficebecauseitispermanent。Ouraffairshereareinverygoodhands；soyouneednotfear；assoonasthestewardhasmasteredthedetails，IwillcomeandsupportLouis。
　　Asforwritinglonglettersnowadays，howcanI。Thisone，inwhichI
　　wanttodescribetoyouthedailyroutineofmylife，willbeaweekonthestocks。WhocantellbutArmandmaylayholdofittomakecapsforhisregimentsdrawnuponmycarpet，orvesselsforthefleetswhichsailhisbath!Asingledaywillserveasasampleoftherest，fortheyareallexactlyalike，andtheircharacteristicsreducethemselvestotwo——eitherthechildrenarewell，ortheyarenot。Forme，inthissolitarygrange，itisnoexaggerationtosaythathoursbecomeminutes，orminuteshours，accordingtothechildren’shealth。
　　IfIhavesomedelightfulhours，itiswhentheyareasleepandIamnolongerneededtorocktheoneorsoothetheotherwithstories。
　　WhenIhavethemsleepingbymyside，Isaytomyself，“Nothingcangowrongnow。“Thefactis，mysweet，everymotherspendshertime，sosoonasherchildrenareoutofhersight，inimaginingdangersforthem。PerhapsitisArmandseizingtherazorstoplaywith，orhiscoattakingfire，orasnakebitinghim，orhemighttumbleinrunningandstartanabscessonhishead，orhemightdrownhimselfinapond。
　　Amother’slife，yousee，isonelongsuccessionofdramas，nowsoftandtender，nowterrible。Notanhourbuthasitsjoysandfears。
　　Butatnight，inmyroom，comesthehourforwakingdreams，whenI
　　planouttheirfuture，whichshinesbrightlyinthesmileoftheguardianangel，watchingovertheirbeds。SometimesArmandcallsmeinhissleep；Ikisshisforeheadwithoutrousinghim，thenhissister’sfeet，andwatchthembothlyingintheirbeauty。Thesearemymerry-makings!Yesterday，itmusthavebeenourguardianangelwhorousedmeinthemiddleofthenightandsummonedmeinfeartoAthenais’cradle。Herheadwastoolow，andIfoundArmandalluncovered，hisfeetpurplewithcold。
　　“Darlingmother!“hecried，rousingupandflinginghisarmsroundme。
　　There，dear，isoneofournightscenesforyou。
　　Howimportantitisforamothertohaveherchildrenbyhersideatnight!Itisnotforanurse，howevercarefulshemaybe，totakethemup，comfortthem，andhushthemtosleepagain，whensomehorridnightmarehasdisturbedthem。Fortheyhavetheirdreams，andthetaskofexplainingawayoneofthosedreadvisionsofthenightisthemorearduousbecausethechildisscared，stupid，andonlyhalfawake。Itisamereinterludeintheunconsciousnessofslumber。InthiswayI
　　havecometosleepsolightly，thatIcanseemylittlepairandseethemstirring，throughtheveilofmyeyelids。Asighorarustlewakensme。Forme，thedemonofconvulsionsisevercrouchingbytheirbeds。
　　Somuchforthenights；withthefirsttwitterofthebirdsmybabiesbegintostir。Throughthemistsofdispersingsleep，theirchatterblendswiththewarblingsthatfillthemorningair，orwiththeswallows’noisydebates——littlecriesofjoyorwoe，whichmaketheirwaytomyheartratherthanmyears。WhileNaisstrugglestogetatme，makingthepassagefromhercradletomybedonallfoursorwithstaggeringsteps，Armandclimbsupwiththeagilityofamonkey，andhashisarmsroundme。Thenthemerrycoupleturnmybedintoaplayground，wheremotherliesattheirmercy。Thebaby-girlpullsmyhair，andwouldtaketosuckingagain，whileArmandstandsguardovermybreast，asthoughdefendinghisproperty。Theirfunnyways，theirpealsoflaughter，aretoomuchforme，andputsleepfairlytoflight。
　　Thenweplaytheogressgame；motherogresseatsupthewhite，softfleshwithhugs，andrainskissesonthoserosyshouldersandeyesbrimmingoverwithsaucymischief；wehavelittlejealoustiffstoo，soprettytosee。Ithashappenedtome，dear，totakeupmystockingsateighto’clockandbestillbare-footedatnine!
　　Thencomesthegettingup。Theoperationofdressingbegins。Isliponmydressing-gown，turnupmysleeves，anddonthemackintoshapron；
　　withMary’sassistance，Iwashandscrubmytwolittleblossoms。Iamsolearbiterofthetemperatureofthebath，foragoodhalfofchildren’scryingandwhimperingcomesfrommistakeshere。Themomenthasarrivedforpaperfleetsandglassducks，sincetheonlywaytogetchildrenthoroughlywashedistokeepthemwellamused。Ifyouknewthediversionsthathavetobeinventedbeforethesedespoticsovereignswillpermitasoftspongetobepassedovereverynookandcranny，youwouldbeawestruckattheamountofingenuityandintelligencedemandedbythematernalprofessionwhenonetakesitseriously。Prayers，scoldings，promises，arealikeinrequisition；
　　aboveall，thejugglerymustbesodexterousthatitdefiesdetection。
　　ThecasewouldbedesperatehadnotProvidencetothecunningofthechildmatchedthatofthemother。Achildisadiplomatist，onlytobemastered，likethediplomatistsofthegreatworld，throughhispassions!Happily，ittakeslittletomakethesecherubslaugh；thefallofabrush，apieceofsoapslippingfromthehand，andwhatmerryshouts!Andifourtriumphsaredearlybought，stilltriumphstheyare，thoughhiddenfrommortaleye。Eventhefatherknowsnothingofitall。NonebutGodandHisangels——andperhapsyou——canfathomtheglancesofsatisfactionwhichMaryandIexchangewhenthelittlecreatures’toiletisatlastconcluded，andtheystand，spotlessandshining，amidachaosofsoap，sponges，combs，basins，blotting-paper，flannel，andallthenamelesslitterofatrueEnglish“nursery。“
　　ForIamsofaraconvertastoadmitthatEnglishwomenhaveatalentforthisdepartment。True，theylookuponthechildonlyfromthepointofviewofmaterialwell-being；butwherethisisconcerned，theirarrangementsareadmirable。Mychildrenmustalwaysbebare-
　　leggedandwearwoollensocks。Thereshallbenoswaddlingnorbandages；ontheotherhand，theyshallneverbeleftalone。ThehelplessnessoftheFrenchinfantinitsswaddling-bandsmeansthelibertyofthenurse——thatisthewholeexplanation。Amother，whoisreallyamother，isneverfree。
　　ThereismyanswertoyourquestionwhyIdonotwrite。Besidesthemanagementoftheestate，Ihavetheupbringingoftwochildrenonmyhands。