suppose,bywayoftryingmydisposition,’Isnotthisveryfine?’
HavingnoexquisiterelishofthebeautiesofNature,andbeingmoredelightedwith’thebusyhumofmen,’Ianswered,’Yes,Sir;
butnotequaltoFleet-street。’JOHNSON。’Youareright,Sir。’
Iamawarethatmanyofmyreadersmaycensuremywantoftaste。
Letme,however,sheltermyselfundertheauthorityofaveryfashionableBaronetinthebrilliantworld,who,onhisattentionbeingcalledtothefragranceofaMayeveninginthecountry,observed,’Thismaybeverywell;but,formypart,Ipreferthesmellofaflambeauattheplayhouse。’
WestaidsolongatGreenwich,thatoursailuptheriver,inourreturntoLondon,wasbynomeanssopleasantasinthemorning;
forthenightairwassocoldthatitmademeshiver。Iwasthemoresensibleofitfromhavingsatupallthenightbefore,recollectingandwritinginmyjournalwhatIthoughtworthyofpreservation;anexertion,which,duringthefirstpartofmyacquaintancewithJohnson,Ifrequentlymade。Irememberhavingsatupfournightsinoneweek,withoutbeingmuchincommodedinthedaytime。
Johnson,whoserobustframewasnotintheleastaffectedbythecold,scoldedme,asifmyshiveringhadbeenapaltryeffeminacy,saying,’Whydoyoushiver?’SirWilliamScott,oftheCommons,toldme,thatwhenhecomplainedofahead-acheinthepost-chaise,astheyweretravellingtogethertoScotland,Johnsontreatedhiminthesamemanner:
’Atyourage,Sir,Ihadnohead-ache。’
WeconcludedthedayattheTurk’sHeadcoffee-houseverysocially。
HewaspleasedtolistentoaparticularaccountwhichIgavehimofmyfamily,andofitshereditaryestate,astotheextentandpopulationofwhichheaskedquestions,andmadecalculations;
recommending,atthesametime,aliberalkindnesstothetenantry,aspeopleoverwhomtheproprietorwasplacedbyProvidence。Hetookdelightinhearingmydescriptionoftheromantickseatofmyancestors。’Imustbethere,Sir,saidheandwewillliveintheoldcastle;andifthereisnotaroominitremaining,wewillbuildone。’Iwashighlyflattered,butcouldscarcelyindulgeahopethatAuchinleckwouldindeedbehonouredbyhispresence,andcelebratedbyadescription,asitafterwardswas,inhisJourneytotheWesternIslands。
AfterwehadagaintalkedofmysettingoutforHolland,hesaid,’ImustseetheeoutofEngland;IwillaccompanyyoutoHarwich。’
IcouldnotfindwordstoexpresswhatIfeltuponthisunexpectedandverygreatmarkofhisaffectionateregard。
Nextday,Sunday,July31,ItoldhimIhadbeenthatmorningatameetingofthepeoplecalledQuakers,whereIhadheardawomanpreach。JOHNSON。’Sir,awoman’spreachingislikeadog’swalkingonhishinderlegs。Itisnotdonewell;butyouaresurprizedtofinditdoneatall。’
OnTuesday,August2thedayofmydeparturefromLondonhavingbeenfixedforthe5th,Dr。JohnsondidmethehonourtopassapartofthemorningwithmeatmyChambers。Hesaid,that’healwaysfeltaninclinationtodonothing。’Iobserved,thatitwasstrangetothinkthatthemostindolentmaninBritainhadwrittenthemostlaboriouswork,TheEnglishDictionary。
Ihadnowmadegoodmytitletobeaprivilegedman,andwascarriedbyhimintheeveningtodrinkteawithMissWilliams,whom,thoughunderthemisfortuneofhavinglosthersight,Ifoundtobeagreeableinconversation;forshehadavarietyofliterature,andexpressedherselfwell;butherpeculiarvaluewastheintimacyinwhichshehadlonglivedwithJohnson,bywhichshewaswellacquaintedwithhishabits,andknewhowtoleadhimontotalk。
Afterteahecarriedmetowhathecalledhiswalk,whichwasalongnarrowpavedcourtintheneighbourhood,overshadowedbysometrees。Therewesaunteredaconsiderabletime;andIcomplainedtohimthatmyloveofLondonandofhiscompanywassuch,thatI
shrunkalmostfromthethoughtofgoingaway,eventotravel,whichisgenerallysomuchdesiredbyyoungmen。Herousedmebymanlyandspiritedconversation。Headvisedme,whensettledinanyplaceabroad,tostudywithaneagernessafterknowledge,andtoapplytoGreekanhoureveryday;andwhenIwasmovingabout,toreaddiligentlythegreatbookofmankind。
OnWednesday,August3,wehadourlastsocialeveningattheTurk’sHeadcoffee-house,beforemysettingoutforforeignparts。
Ihadthemisfortune,beforeweparted,toirritatehimunintentionally。Imentionedtohimhowcommonitwasintheworldtotellabsurdstoriesofhim,andtoascribetohimverystrangesayings。JOHNSON。’Whatdotheymakemesay,Sir?’BOSWELL。
’Why,Sir,asaninstanceverystrangeindeed,laughingheartilyasIspoke,DavidHumetoldme,yousaidthatyouwouldstandbeforeabatteryofcannon,torestoretheConvocationtoitsfullpowers。’LittledidIapprehendthathehadactuallysaidthis:
butIwassoonconvincedofmyerrour;for,withadeterminedlook,hethunderedout’AndwouldInot,Sir?ShallthePresbyterianKIRKofScotlandhaveitsGeneralAssembly,andtheChurchofEnglandbedenieditsConvocation?’HewaswalkingupanddowntheroomwhileItoldhimtheanecdote;butwhenheutteredthisexplosionofhigh-churchzeal,hehadcomeclosetomychair,andhiseyesflashedwithindignation。Ibowedtothestorm,anddivertedtheforceofit,byleadinghimtoexpatiateontheinfluencewhichreligionderivedfrommaintainingthechurchwithgreatexternalrespectability。
OnFriday,August5,wesetoutearlyinthemorningintheHarwichstagecoach。Afatelderlygentlewoman,andayoungDutchman,seemedthemostinclinedamongustoconversation。Attheinnwherewedined,thegentlewomansaidthatshehaddoneherbesttoeducateherchildren;andparticularly,thatshehadneversufferedthemtobeamomentidle。JOHNSON。’Iwish,madam,youwouldeducatemetoo;forIhavebeenanidlefellowallmylife。’’Iamsure,Sir,saidsheyouhavenotbeenidle。’JOHNSON。’Nay,Madam,itisverytrue;andthatgentlemantherepointingtome,
hasbeenidle。HewasidleatEdinburgh。HisfathersenthimtoGlasgow,wherehecontinuedtobeidle。HethencametoLondon,wherehehasbeenveryidle;andnowheisgoingtoUtrecht,wherehewillbeasidleasever。Iaskedhimprivatelyhowhecouldexposemeso。JOHNSON。’Poh,poh!saidhetheyknewnothingaboutyou,andwillthinkofitnomore。’IntheafternoonthegentlewomantalkedviolentlyagainsttheRomanCatholicks,andofthehorroursoftheInquisition。Totheutterastonishmentofallthepassengersbutmyself,whoknewthathecouldtalkuponanysideofaquestion,hedefendedtheInquisition,andmaintained,that’falsedoctrineshouldbecheckedonitsfirstappearance;
thatthecivilpowershouldunitewiththechurchinpunishingthosewhodaredtoattacktheestablishedreligion,andthatsuchonlywerepunishedbytheInquisition。’HehadinhispocketPomponiusMeladesituOrbis,inwhichhereadoccasionally,andseemedveryintentuponancientgeography。Thoughbynomeansniggardly,hisattentiontowhatwasgenerallyrightwassominute,thathavingobservedatoneofthestagesthatIostentatiouslygaveashillingtothecoachman,whenthecustomwasforeachpassengertogiveonlysix-pence,hetookmeasideandscoldedme,sayingthatwhatIhaddonewouldmakethecoachmandissatisfiedwithalltherestofthepassengers,whogavehimnomorethanhisdue。Thiswasajustreprimand;forinwhateverwayamanmayindulgehisgenerosityorhisvanityinspendinghismoney,forthesakeofothersheoughtnottoraisethepriceofanyarticleforwhichthereisaconstantdemand。
Atsupperthisnight*hetalkedofgoodeatingwithuncommonsatisfaction。’Somepeoplesaidhe,haveafoolishwayofnotminding,orpretendingnottomind,whattheyeat。Formypart,I
mindmybellyverystudiously,andverycarefully;forIlookuponit,thathewhodoesnotmindhisbellywillhardlymindanythingelse。’HenowappearedtomeJeanBullphilosophe,andhewas,forthemoment,notonlyseriousbutvehement。YetIhaveheardhim,uponotheroccasions,talkwithgreatcontemptofpeoplewhowereanxioustogratifytheirpalates;andthe206thnumberofhisRamblerisamasterlyessayagainstgulosity。Hispractice,indeed,Imustacknowledge,maybeconsideredascastingthebalanceofhisdifferentopinionsuponthissubject;forIneverknewanymanwhorelishedgoodeatingmorethanhedid。Whenattable,hewastotallyabsorbedinthebusinessofthemoment;hislooksseemedrivettedtohisplate;norwouldhe,unlesswheninveryhighcompany,sayoneword,orevenpaytheleastattentiontowhatwassaidbyothers,tillhehadsatisfiedhisappetite,whichwassofierce,andindulgedwithsuchintenseness,thatwhileintheactofeating,theveinsofhisforeheadswelled,andgenerallyastrongperspirationwasvisible。Tothosewhosesensationsweredelicate,thiscouldnotbutbedisgusting;anditwasdoubtlessnotverysuitabletothecharacterofaphilosopher,whoshouldbedistinguishedbyself-command。Butitmustbeowned,thatJohnson,thoughhecouldberigidlyABSTEMIOUS,wasnotaTEMPERATEmaneitherineatingordrinking。Hecouldrefrain,buthecouldnotusemoderately。Hetoldme,thathehadfastedtwodayswithoutinconvenience,andthathehadneverbeenhungrybutonce。Theywhobeheldwithwonderhowmuchheeatuponalloccasionswhenhisdinnerwastohistaste,couldnoteasilyconceivewhathemusthavemeantbyhunger;andnotonlywasheremarkablefortheextraordinaryquantitywhichheeat,buthewas,oraffectedtobe,amanofverynicediscernmentinthescienceofcookery。Heusedtodescantcriticallyonthedisheswhichhadbeenattablewherehehaddinedorsupped,andtorecollectveryminutelywhathehadliked。Iremember,whenhewasinScotland,hispraising’Gordon’spalates,’adishofpalatesattheHonourableAlexanderGordon’s
withawarmthofexpressionwhichmighthavedonehonourtomoreimportantsubjects。’AsforMaclaurin’simitationofaMADEDISH,itwasawretchedattempt。’Heaboutthesametimewassomuchdispleasedwiththeperformancesofanobleman’sFrenchcook,thatheexclaimedwithvehemence,’I’dthrowsucharascalintotheriver,andhethenproceededtoalarmaladyatwhosehousehewastosup,bythefollowingmanifestoofhisskill:’I,Madam,wholiveatavarietyofgoodtables,amamuchbetterjudgeofcookery,thananypersonwhohasaverytolerablecook,butlivesmuchathome;forhispalateisgraduallyadaptedtothetasteofhiscook;whereas,Madam,intryingbyawiderrange,Icanmoreexquisitelyjudge。’Wheninvitedtodine,evenwithanintimatefriend,hewasnotpleasedifsomethingbetterthanaplaindinnerwasnotpreparedforhim。Ihaveheardhimsayonsuchanoccasion,’Thiswasagooddinnerenough,tobesure;butitwasnotadinnertoASKamanto。’Ontheotherhand,hewaswonttoexpress,withgreatglee,hissatisfactionwhenhehadbeenentertainedquitetohismind。OnedaywhenwehaddinedwithhisneighbourandlandlordinBolt-court,Mr。Allen,theprinter,whoseoldhousekeeperhadstudiedhistasteineverything,hepronouncedthiseulogy:’Sir,wecouldnothavehadabetterdinnerhadtherebeenaSynodofCooks。’