’Sir,itiswonderfulhowLITTLEGarrickassumes。No,Sir,Garrickfortunamreverenterhabet。Consider,Sir:celebratedmen,suchasyouhavementioned,havehadtheirapplauseatadistance;butGarrickhaditdashedinhisface,soundedinhisears,andwenthomeeverynightwiththeplauditsofathousandinhisCRANIUM。
  Then,Sir,GarrickdidnotFIND,butMADEhiswaytothetables,thelevees,andalmostthebed-chambersofthegreat。Then,Sir,Garrickhadunderhimanumerousbodyofpeople;who,fromfearofhispower,andhopesofhisfavour,andadmirationofhistalents,wereconstantlysubmissivetohim。Andhereisamanwhohasadvancedthedignityofhisprofession。Garrickhasmadeaplayerahighercharacter。’SCOTT。’Andheisaverysprightlywritertoo。’JOHNSON。’Yes,Sir;andallthissupportedbygreatwealthofhisownacquisition。Ifallthishadhappenedtome,Ishouldhavehadacoupleoffellowswithlongpoleswalkingbeforeme,toknockdowneverybodythatstoodintheway。Consider,ifallthishadhappenedtoCibberorQuin,they’dhavejumpedoverthemoon——
  YetGarrickspeakstoUS。’smiling。BOSWELL。’AndGarrickisaverygoodman,acharitableman。’JOHNSON。’Sir,aliberalman。
  HehasgivenawaymoremoneythananymaninEngland。Theremaybealittlevanitymixed;buthehasshewn,thatmoneyisnothisfirstobject。’BOSWELL。’YetFooteusedtosayofhim,thathewalkedoutwithanintentiontodoagenerousaction;but,turningthecornerofastreet,hemetwiththeghostofahalf-penny,whichfrightenedhim。’JOHNSON。’Why,Sir,thatisverytrue,too;forIneverknewamanofwhomitcouldbesaidwithlesscertaintyto-day,whathewilldoto-morrow,thanGarrick;itdependssomuchonhishumouratthetime。’SCOTT。’Iamgladtohearofhisliberality。Hehasbeenrepresentedasverysaving。’
  JOHNSON。’Withhisdomesticksavingwehavenothingtodo。I
  rememberdrinkingteawithhimlongago,whenPegWoffingtonmadeit,andhegrumbledatherformakingittoostrong。*Hehadthenbeguntofeelmoneyinhispurse,anddidnotknowwhenheshouldhaveenoughofit。’
  *WhenJohnsontoldthislittleanecdotetoSirJoshuaReynolds,hementionedacircumstancewhichheomittedto-day:——’Why,saidGarrick,itisasredasblood。’——BOSWELL。
  Wetalkedofwar。JOHNSON。’Everymanthinksmeanlyofhimselffornothavingbeenasoldier,ornothavingbeenatsea。’
  BOSWELL。’LordMansfielddoesnot。’JOHNSON。’Sir,ifLordMansfieldwereinacompanyofGeneralOfficersandAdmiralswhohavebeeninservice,hewouldshrink;he’dwishtocreepunderthetable。’BOSWELL。’No;he’dthinkhecouldTRYthemall。’
  JOHNSON。’Yes,ifhecouldcatchthem:butthey’dtryhimmuchsooner。No,Sir;wereSocratesandCharlestheTwelfthofSwedenbothpresentinanycompany,andSocratestosay,“Followme,andhearalectureonphilosophy;“andCharles,layinghishandonhissword,tosay,“Followme,anddethronetheCzar;“amanwouldbeashamedtofollowSocrates。Sir,theimpressionisuniversal;yetitisstrange。’
  HetalkedofMr。CharlesFox,ofwhoseabilitieshethoughthighly,butobserved,thathedidnottalkmuchatourCLUB。IhaveheardMr。Gibbonremark,’thatMr。FoxcouldnotbeafraidofDr。
  Johnson;yethecertainlywasveryshyofsayinganythinginDr。
  Johnson’spresence。’
  HeexpressedgreatindignationattheimpostureoftheCock-laneGhost,andrelated,withmuchsatisfaction,howhehadassistedindetectingthecheat,andhadpublishedanaccountofitinthenews-papers。UponthissubjectIincautiouslyoffendedhim,bypressinghimwithtoomanyquestions,andheshewedhisdispleasure。Iapologised,sayingthat’Iaskedquestionsinordertobeinstructedandentertained;Irepairedeagerlytothefountain;butthatthemomenthegavemeahint,themomentheputalockuponthewell,Idesisted。’——’But,Sir,saidhe,thatisforcingonetodoadisagreeablething:’andhecontinuedtorateme。’Nay,Sir,saidI,whenyouhaveputalockuponthewell,sothatIcannolongerdrink,donotmakethefountainofyourwitplayuponmeandwetme。’
  Hesometimescouldnotbearbeingteazedwithquestions。Iwasoncepresentwhenagentlemanaskedsomanyas,’Whatdidyoudo,Sir?’’Whatdidyousay,Sir?’thatheatlastgrewenraged,andsaid,’IwillnotbeputtotheQUESTION。Don’tyouconsider,Sir,thatthesearenotthemannersofagentleman?IwillnotbebaitedwithWHAT,andWHY;whatisthis?whatisthat?whyisacow’staillong?whyisafox’stailbushy?’Thegentleman,whowasagooddealoutofcountenance,said,’Why,Sir,youaresogood,thatIventuretotroubleyou。’Johnson。’Sir,mybeingsoGOODisnoreasonwhyyoushouldbesoILL。’
  Hetalkedwithanuncommonanimationoftravellingintodistantcountries;thatthemindwasenlargedbyit,andthatanacquisitionofdignityofcharacterwasderivedfromit。HeexpressedaparticularenthusiasmwithrespecttovisitingthewallofChina。Icatcheditforthemoment,andsaidIreallybelievedIshouldgoandseethewallofChinahadInotchildren,ofwhomitwasmydutytotakecare。’Sir,saidhe,bydoingso,youwoulddowhatwouldbeofimportanceinraisingyourchildrentoeminence。Therewouldbealustrereflecteduponthemfromyourspiritandcuriosity。TheywouldbeatalltimesregardedasthechildrenofamanwhohadgonetoviewthewallofChina。Iamserious,Sir。’
  WhenwehadleftMr。Scott’s,hesaid’Willyougohomewithme?’
  ’Sir,saidI,itislate;butI’llgowithyouforthreeminutes。’JOHNSON。’Orfour。’WewenttoMrs。Williams’sroom,wherewefoundMr。Allentheprinter,whowasthelandlordofhishouseinBolt-court,aworthy,obligingman,andhisveryoldacquaintance;andwhatwasexceedinglyamusing,thoughhewasofaverydiminutivesize,heused,eveninJohnson’spresence,toimitatethestatelyperiodsandslowandsolemnutteranceofthegreatman——Ithiseveningboasted,thatalthoughIdidnotwritewhatiscalledstenography,orshort-hand,inappropriatedcharactersdevisedforthepurpose,Ihadamethodofmyownofwritinghalfwords,andleavingoutsomealtogethersoasyettokeepthesubstanceandlanguageofanydiscoursewhichIhadheardsomuchinview,thatIcouldgiveitverycompletelysoonafterI
  hadtakenitdown。
  OnSunday,April12,Ifoundhimathomebeforedinner。HeandI,andMrs。Williams,wenttodinewiththeReverendDr。Percy。
  AndhereIshallrecordasceneoftoomuchheatbetweenDr。
  JohnsonandDr。Percy,whichIshouldhavesuppressed,wereitnotthatitgaveoccasiontodisplaythetruelytenderandbenevolentheartofJohnson,who,assoonashefoundafriendwasatallhurtbyanythingwhichhehad’saidinhiswrath,’wasnotonlypromptanddesiroustobereconciled,butexertedhimselftomakeamplereparation。
  BooksofTravelshavingbeenmentioned,JohnsonpraisedPennantveryhighly,ashedidatDunvegan,intheIsleofSky。Dr。Percy,knowinghimselftobetheheirmaleoftheancientPercies,andhavingthewarmestandmostdutifulattachmenttothenobleHouseofNorthumberland,couldnotsitquietlyandhearamanpraised,whohadspokendisrespectfullyofAlnwick-CastleandtheDuke’spleasuregrounds,especiallyashethoughtmeanlyofhistravels。
  HethereforeopposedJohnsoneagerly。JOHNSON。’PennantinwhathehassaidofAlnwick,hasdonewhatheintended;hehasmadeyouveryangry。’PERCY。’HehassaidthegardenisTRIM,whichisrepresentingitlikeacitizen’sparterre,whenthetruthis,thereisaverylargeextentoffineturfandgravelwalks。’JOHNSON。
  ’Accordingtoyourownaccount,Sir,Pennantisright。ItIStrim。
  Hereisgrasscutclose,andgravelrolledsmooth。Isnotthattrim?Theextentisnothingagainstthat;amilemaybeastrimasasquareyard。Yourextentputsmeinmindofthecitizen’senlargeddinner,twopiecesofroast-beef,andtwopuddings。Thereisnovariety,nomindexertedinlayingouttheground,notrees。’
  PERCY。’HepretendstogivethenaturalhistoryofNorthumberland,andyettakesnonoticeoftheimmensenumberoftreesplantedthereoflate。’JOHNSON。’That,Sir,hasnothingtodowiththeNATURALhistory;thatisCIVILhistory。Amanwhogivesthenaturalhistoryoftheoak,isnottotellhowmanyoakshavebeenplantedinthisplaceorthat。Amanwhogivesthenaturalhistoryofthecow,isnottotellhowmanycowsaremilkedatIslington。
  Theanimalisthesame,whethermilkedintheParkoratIslington。’PERCY。’Pennantdoesnotdescribewell;acarrierwhogoesalongthesideofLoch-lomondwoulddescribeitbetter。’
  JOHNSON。’Ithinkhedescribesverywell。’PERCY。’Itravelledafterhim。’JOHNSON。’AndItravelledafterhim。’PERCY。’But,mygoodfriend,youareshort-sighted,anddonotseesowellasI
  do。’IwonderedatDr。Percy’sventuringthus。Dr。Johnsonsaidnothingatthetime;butinflammableparticleswerecollectingforacloudtoburst。InalittlewhileDr。PercysaidsomethingmoreindisparagementofPennant。JOHNSON。pointedly,’Thisistheresentmentofanarrowmind,becausehedidnotfindeverythinginNorthumberland。’PERCY。feelingthestroke,’Sir,youmaybeasrudeasyouplease。’JOHNSON。’Hold,Sir!Don’ttalkofrudeness;remember,Sir,youtoldmepuffinghardwithpassionstrugglingforavent,Iwasshortsighted。Wehavedonewithcivility。Wearetobeasrudeasweplease。’PERCY。’Uponmyhonour,Sir,Ididnotmeantobeuncivil。’JOHNSON。’Icannotsayso,Sir;forIDIDmeantobeuncivil,thinkingYOUhadbeenuncivil。’Dr。Percyrose,ranuptohim,andtakinghimbythehand,assuredhimaffectionatelythathismeaninghadbeenmisunderstood;uponwhichareconciliationinstantlytookplace。
  JOHNSON。’MydearSir,IamwillingyoushallHANGPennant。’
  PERCY。resumingtheformersubject,’Pennantcomplainsthatthehelmetisnothungouttoinvitetothehallofhospitality。NowI
  neverheardthatitwasacustomtohangoutaHELMET。’JOHNSON。
  ’Hanghimup,hanghimup。’BOSWELL。humouringthejoke,’Hangouthisskullinsteadofahelmet,andyoumaydrinkaleoutofitinyourhallofOdin,asheisyourenemy;thatwillbetrulyancient。THEREwillbeNorthernAntiquities。’JOHNSON。’He’saWHIG,Sir;aSADDOG。smilingathisownviolentexpressions,merelyforpoliticaldifferenceofopinion。Buthe’sthebesttravellerIeverread;heobservesmorethingsthananyoneelsedoes。’
  OnMonday,April13,IdinedwithJohnsonatMr。Langton’s,wherewereDr。Porteus,thenBishopofChester,nowofLondon,andDr。
  Stinton。Hewasatfirstinaverysilentmood。Beforedinnerhesaidnothingbut’Prettybaby,’tooneofthechildren。Langtonsaidverywelltomeafterwards,thathecouldrepeatJohnson’sconversationbeforedinner,asJohnsonhadsaidthathecouldrepeatacompletechapterofTheNaturalHistoryofIceland,fromtheDanishofHorrebow,thewholeofwhichwasexactlythus: