hesaid,“butit’suncertainandcostly。“
TheGovernorhesitatedabouttheholeintheroof,whichHilbruntolduswasforametalpipetoconducthisgeneratedgasesintotheair。TheownerofthebarnhadgonetoLaramie。However,wefoundastove-pipehole,whichsaveddelay。“Andwhatdaywouldyouprefertheshower?“saidHilbrun,afterwehadgoneoverourcontractwithhim。
“Anydaywoulddo,“theGovernorsaid。
ThiswasThursday;andSundaywaschosen,asadaywhennoonehadbusinesstodetainhimfromwitnessingtheshower——thoughitseemedtomethatonweek-days,too,businessinCheyennewasnotsoinexorableasthis。Wegavethestrangerssomeinformationaboutthetown,andleftthem。Thesunwentawayinacloudlesssky,andcamesoagainwhenthestarshadfinishedtheiruntarnishedshining。Fridaywasclearanddryandhot,likethedynastyofblazingdaysthathadgonebefore。
Isawasorryspectacleinthestreet——thebridegroomandthebrideshoppingtogether;or,rather,hewithhiswadofbillswasobedientlypayingforwhatshebought;andwhenImetthemhewascarryingascarletparasolandabonnet-box。Hisbiscuit-shooter,withthelustofpurchaseonher,wasbrilliantlydressed,andpervadedthestreetwithsplendor,likeanescapedparrot。Linwalkedbesideher,butitmightaswellhavebeenbehind,andhisbearingwassodifferentfromhiswontedhappy-go-luckinessthatIhadamindtotakeoffmyhatandsay,“Good-morning,Mrs。Lusk。“Butitwas“Mrs。McLean“Isaid,ofcourse。
Shegavemearemote,imperiousnod,andsaid,“Comeon,Lin,“somethinglikeacrossnurse,whilehe,outofsheerdecency,madeheragood-humored,jocularanswer,andsaidtome,“Ittakesawomantoknowwhattobuyforhouse-keepin,“;whichpoorpieceofhypocrisyendearedhimtomemorethanever。Thepuncherwasnotofthefibretosucceedinkeepingappearances,buthedeservedsuccess,whichtheangelsconsidertobeenough。Iwonderedifdisenchantmenthadsetin,orifthiswereonlythepreliminarystageofsurpriseandwounding,andIfeltthatbutonetestcouldshow,namely,acomingfacetofaceofMr。andMrs。Lusk,perhapsnottobedesired。Neitherwasitlikely。Theassistantrain-makerkepthimselfsteadfastlyinsideornearthebarn,atthenorthcornerofCheyenne,whilethebride,whenshewasinthestreetatall,hauntedtheshopsclearacrosstowndiagonally。
OnthisFridaynoontheappearanceofthemetaltubeabovetheblindbuildingspreadsomeexcitement。Itmovedseveralofthecitizenstopaytheplaceavisitandasktoseethemachine。Thesecallers,ofcourse,sustainedapoliterefusal,andreturnedamongtheirfriendswithacontemptforsuchquackery,andagreatlyheightenedcuriosity;sothatprettysoonyoucouldheardiscussionsatthestreetcorners,andbySaturdaymorningCheyennewastalkingoflittleelse。Thetownprowledaboutthebarnanditsoracularmetaltube,andheardandsawnothing。
TheGovernorandIletitbeconfessedwentthereourselves,sincethetwenty-fourhoursofrequiredpreparationwerenowbegun。Wesmelledforchemicals,andhethoughttherewasasomething,buthavingbeenbredadoctor,distrustedhisimagination。Icouldnotbesuremyselfwhethertherewasanythingornot,althoughIwalkedthreetimesroundthebarn,snuffingasdispassionatelyasIknewhow。Itmightpossiblybechlorine,theGovernorsaid,orsomegasforwhichammoniawasinpartresponsible;
andthiswasallhecouldsay,andwelefttheplace。Theworldwasasstillandthehard,sharphillsasclearandnearasever;andtheskyoverSaharaisnotmoredryandenduringthanwasours。ThistenacityintheelementsplainlygaveJodeamaliciousofficialpleasure。Wecouldtellitbyhistalkatlunch;andwhentheGovernorremindedhimthatnorainwascontractedforuntilthenextday,hementionedthattheapproachofastormissomethingthatmodernscienceisabletoascertainlonginadvance;andhebadeuscometohisofficewheneverwepleased,andseeforourselveswhatsciencesaid。Thiswas,atanyrate,somethingtofilltheafternoonwith,andwewenttohimaboutfive。LinMcLeanjoinedusontheway。Icameuponhimlingeringaloneinthestreet,andhetoldmethatMrs。McLeanwascallingonfriends。Isawthathedidnotknowhowtospendtheshortrecessorholidayhewashaving。Heseemedtoclingtothesocietyofothers,andwiththemforthetimeregainhisgayermind。HehadbecomeconvertedtoOgden,andtheNew-Yorker,onhisside,foundpleasantandrefreshingthisdemocracyofGovernorsandcow-punchers。Jodereceivedusatthesignal-serviceoffice,andbegantoshowushisinstrumentswiththecarefulprideofanorchid-collector。
“Ahairhygrometer,“hesaidtome,wavinghiswax-likehandoverit。
“Theindicationsareobtainedfromtheexpansionandcontractionofapreparedhumanhair,transferredtoanindexneedletraversingthedividedarcof——“
“WhatoildoyouputonthehumanhairJode?“calledouttheGovernor,whohadleftourgroup,andwasgambolingaboutbyhimselfamongthetubesanddials。“Whatwillthisonedo?“heasked,andpokedatawetpaperdisc。ButbeforethecourteousJodecouldexplainthatithadtodowithevaporationandthedew-point,theGovernor’sattentionwandered,andhewasblowingatalittlefan-wheel。Thisinstantlyrevolvedandsetanumberofdialhandsgoingdifferentways。“Hi!“saidtheGovernor,delighted。“Seen’emlikethatdownmines。Registerairvelocityinfeet。
Putitaway,Jode。Youdon’twantthatto-morrow。Whatyou’llneed,Hilbrunsays,isabigoldrain-gaugeandrubbershoes。“
“Ishallrequirenothingofthesort,Governor,“Joderetortedatonce。
“Andyoucangotochurchwithoutyourumbrellainsafety,sir。Seethere。“Hepointedtoastorm-glass,whichwascertainlyasclearascrystal。“Anold-fashionedtest,youwilldoubtlesssay,gentlemen,“Jodecontinued——thoughnoneofuswouldhavesaidanythinglikethat——“butunjustlydiscredited;and,furthermore,itstestimonyiswellcorroborated,asyouwillfindyoumustadmit。“Jode’svoicewasalmostthreatening,andhefetchedonecorroboratorafteranother。Ilookedpassivelyatwetanddrybulbs,atself-recording,dottedregisters;I
caughtthefleetingsoundofwordslike“meniscus“and“terrestrialminimumthermometer,“andInoddedpunctuallywhenJodewentthroughsomecalculation。AtlastIheardsomethingthatIcouldunderstand——aseriesoftelegraphicrepliestoJodefrombrothersignal-serviceofficersallovertheUnitedStates。Hereadeachonethroughfromdateofsignature,andtheyallmadeanyrainto-morrowentirelyimpossible。“AndItellyou,“Jodeconcluded,inhishigh,egg-shellvoice,“there’snochanceofprecipitationnow,sir。Itellyou,sir,“——hewasshriekingjubilantly——
“there’snotadamn’thingtoprecipitate!“
Welefthiminhistriumphamonghisglassandmercury。“Geewhiz!“saidtheGovernor。“Iguesswe’dbettergoandtellHilbrunit’snouse。“
Wewent,andHilbrunsmiledwithacertaincompassionfortheantiquatedscientist。“That’swhattheyallsay,“hesaid。“I’lldomytalkingto-morrow。“
“Ifanyofyougentlemen,oryourfriends,“saidAssistantLusk,steppingup,“feellikedoingalittlebusinessonthis,Iamreadytoaccommodateyou。“
“Whatdoyu’wantthisevenin’?“saidLinMcLean,promptly。
“Fivetoone,“saidLusk。
“Goyu’intwenties,“saidtheimpetuouspuncher;andInowperceivedthiswastobeasportingevent。Linhadhiswadofbillsout——orwhatofitstillsurvivedhisbride’sshopping。“Willyouholdstakes,doctor?“
hesaidtotheGovernor。
Butthatofficiallookedattheclearsky,andthoughthewoulddofivetooneintwentieshimself。Luskaccommodatedhim,andthenOgden,andthenme。Noneofuscouldverywellbestake-holder,butweregisteredourbets,andpromisedtoprocureanuninterestedmanbyeightnextmorning。Ihaveseldomhadsomuchtrouble,andIneversawsuchauniversalsearchforreadymoney。Everymanweaskedtoholdstakesinstantlywhippedouthisownpocketbook,wentinsearchofLusk,anddisqualifiedhimself。ItwasJodehelpedusout。Hewouldnotbet,butwasanxioustoserve,andthuspunishthebraggingLusk。
Sundaywas,asusual,chronicallyfine,withnocloudorbreezeanywhere,andbythetimethechurch-bellswereringing,tentoonewasfreelyoffered。Thebiscuit-shooterwenttochurchwithherfriends,soshemightwearherfineclothesinaworthyplace,whileherfurloughedhusbandrushedaboutCheyenne,entirelyhisownoldselfagain,hiswadofmoneystakedandinJode’skeeping。Manycitizensbitterlylamentedtheirlackofreadymoney。ButitwasagoodthingforthesepeoplethatitwasSunday,andthebanksclosed。
Thechurch-bellsceased;thecongregationssatinside,butoutsidethehottownshowednoSundayemptinessorquiet。Themetaltube,thepossiblesmell,Jode’ssustainedandhaughtyindignation,theextraordinaryassuranceofLusk,allthishadendedbyturningeveryonerestlessandeccentric。Acitizencamedownthestreetwithanumbrella。
Inamomenttheby-standershadreducedittoasordidtangleofribs。
OldJudgeBurrageattemptedtoaddressusatthecorneraboutthevastprogressofscience。Thepostmasterpinnedacardonhisbackwiththewell-knownlegend,“Iamsomewhatofaliarmyself。“Andallthewhilethesunshonehighandhot,whileJodegrewquieterandcolderunderthecertaintyofvictory。Itwasaftertwelveo’clockwhenthepeoplecamefromchurch,andnochangeorsignwastobeseen。Jodetoldus,withachillsmile,thathehadvisitedhisinstrumentsandfoundnonewindications。Fifteenminutesafterthattheskywasbrown。Sudden,padded,dropsicalcloudswerebornintheblueaboveourheads。Theyblackened,andasmartshower,thefirstintwomonths,wetusall,andceased。Thesunblazedout,andtheskycameblueagain,likethoserapid,unconvincingweatherchangesofthedrama。
AmazementatwhatIsawhappeningintheheavenstookmefromthingsonearth,andIwasunawareoftheuniversalfitthatnowseizeduponCheyenneuntilIheardthehighcryofJodeatmyear。Hisusualpunctiliousbearinghadforsakenhim,andheshoutedaliketostrangerandacquaintance:“Itisnohalf-inch,sir!Don’tyoutellme“’Andthecrowdwouldswallowhim,butyoucouldmarkhisvociferouscourseashewentproclaimingtotheworld。“Afailure,sir!Thefellow’sanimpostor,asIwellknew。It’snohalf-inch!“Whichwastrue。
“Whathaveyougottosaytothat?“weaskedHilbrun,swarmingaroundhim。
“Ifyou’lljustkeepcool,“saidhe——“it’sonlythefirstinstalment。InabouttwohoursandahalfI’llgiveyoutherest。“
Soonafterfourthedropsicalcloudsmaterializedonceagainaboveopen-mouthedCheyenne。Noschoolletoutforanunexpectedholiday,noherdofstampededrangecattle,conductsitselfmoremiscellaneously。
Gray,respectablemen,withdaughtersmarried,leapedoverfencesandsprangback,prominentlegislatorshoppedhowlingupanddowndoor-steps,womenwavedhandkerchiefsfromwindowsandporches,thechatteringJodeflewfromanemometertorain-gauge,andoldJudgeBurrageapostrophizedProvidenceinhisfrontyard,withthepostmaster’slabelstillpinnedtohisback。Nobodymindedthesluicingdownpour——thissecondinstalmentwasmuchmoreofathingthanthefirst——andHilbrunalonekeptacalmexterior——thefaceofthemanwholiftsaheavydumb-bellandthrowsanimpressiveglanceattheaudience。AssistantLuskwasbynomeansthusproofagainstsuccessIsawhimputabottlebackinhispocket,hisfacealreadydisintegratedwithatipsyleer。JudgeBurrage,perceivingtherain-maker,cameoutofhisgateandproceededtowardhim,extendingthehandofcongratulation。“Mr。Hilbrun,“saidhe,“IamJudgeBurrage——theHonorableT。ColemanBurrage——andIwillsaythatIammostfavorablyimpressedwithyourshower。“
“Hisshower!“yelpedJode,flourishingmeasurements。
“Why,yu’don’tclaimit’syourn,doyu’?“saidLinMcLean,grinning。
“Itellyouit’snohalf-inchyet,gentlemen,“saidJode,ignoringthefacetiouspuncher。
“You’remistaken,“saidHilbrun,sharply。
“It’saplumbbigshow,half-inchornohalf-inch,“saidLin。
“Ifhe’sshorthedon’tgethismoney,“saidsomeignoblesubscriber“Yes,hewill,“saidtheGovernor,“orI’mashort。He’searnedit。“
“Youbet“’saidLin。“Fairandsquare。Ifthey’regoin’backonyu’,doctor,I’llchip——Shucks!“Lin’shandfellfromtheemptypocket;herememberedhiswadinthestake-holder’shands,andthathenowpossessedpossiblytwodollarsinsilver,alltold。“Ican’tchipin,doctor,“hesaid。“Thathoboovertherehaswonmycash,an’he’sfillingupontheprospectrightnow。Idon’tcare!It’sthebiggestshowI’veeversaw。
You’readandy,Mr。Hilbrun!Whoop!“AndLinclappedtherain-makerontheshoulder,exulting。Hehadbeentoowellentertainedtocarewhathehadinhispocket,andhiswifehadnotyetoccurredtohim。
Theyweredisputingabouttherainfall,whichhadbeenslightlyunderhalfaninchinafewspots,butoveritinmanyothers;andwhilewestoodtalkingintherenewedsunlight,moretelegramswerebroughttoJode,sayingthattherewasnomoistureanywhere,andsimultaneouslywiththese,ridersdashedintotownwiththenewsthattwelvemilesouttherainhadflattenedthegraincrop。Wehadmoreofsuchreportsfromasfarasthirtymiles,andbeyondthattherehadnotbeenadroporacloud。Itstaggeredone’sreason;thebrainwasnumbwithsurprise。