’It’saverydangerous，unsatisfactory，andexpensiveschooltothepeoplewhopaytokeepthepupilsthere，Iamafraid，’saidClennam，shakinghishead。
　　’Ah!Youareaterriblefellow，’returnedGowan，airily。’Icanunderstandhowyouhavefrightenedthatlittledonkey，Clarence，themostestimableofmoon-calvesIreallylovehimnearlyoutofhiswits。Butenoughofhim，andofalltherestofthem。Iwanttopresentyoutomymother，MrClennam。Praydomethefavourtogivemetheopportunity。’
　　Innobody’sstateofmind，therewasnothingClennamwouldhavedesiredless，orwouldhavebeenmoreatalosshowtoavoid。
　　’Mymotherlivesinamostprimitivemannerdowninthatdrearyred-brickdungeonatHamptonCourt，’saidGowan。’Ifyouwouldmakeyourownappointment，suggestyourowndayforpermittingmetotakeyoutheretodinner，youwouldbeboredandshewouldbecharmed。Reallythat’sthestateofthecase。’
　　WhatcouldClennamsayafterthis？Hisretiringcharacterincludedagreatdealthatwassimpleinthebestsense，becauseunpractisedandunused；andinhissimplicityandmodesty，hecouldonlysaythathewashappytoplacehimselfatMrGowan’sdisposal。
　　Accordinglyhesaidit，andthedaywasfixed。Andadreadeddayitwasonhispart，andaveryunwelcomedaywhenitcameandtheywentdowntoHamptonCourttogether。
　　Thevenerableinhabitantsofthatvenerablepileseemed，inthosetimes，tobeencampedtherelikeasortofcivilisedgipsies。
　　Therewasatemporaryairabouttheirestablishments，asiftheyweregoingawaythemomenttheycouldgetanythingbetter；therewasalsoadissatisfiedairaboutthemselves，asiftheytookitveryillthattheyhadnotalreadygotsomethingmuchbetter。
　　Genteelblindsandmakeshiftsweremoreorlessobservableassoonastheirdoorswereopened；screensnothalfhighenough，whichmadedining-roomsoutofarchedpassages，andwardedoffobscurecornerswherefootboyssleptatnightswiththeirheadsamongtheknivesandforks；curtainswhichcalleduponyoutobelievethattheydidn’thideanything；panesofglasswhichrequestedyounottoseethem；manyobjectsofvariousforms，feigningtohavenoconnectionwiththeirguiltysecret，abed；disguisedtrapsinwalls，whichwereclearlycoal-cellars；affectationsofnothoroughfares，whichwereevidentlydoorstolittlekitchens。
　　Mentalreservationsandartfulmysteriesgrewoutofthesethings。
　　Callerslookingsteadilyintotheeyesoftheirreceivers，pretendednottosmellcookingthreefeetoff；people，confrontingclosetsaccidentallyleftopen，pretendednottoseebottles；
　　visitorswiththeirheadsagainstapartitionofthincanvas，andapageandayoungfemaleathighwordsontheotherside，madebelievetobesittinginaprimevalsilence。Therewasnoendtothesmallsocialaccommodation-billsofthisnaturewhichthegipsiesofgentilitywereconstantlydrawingupon，andacceptingfor，oneanother。
　　SomeoftheseBohemianswereofanirritabletemperament，asconstantlysouredandvexedbytwomentaltrials：thefirst，theconsciousnessthattheyhadnevergotenoughoutofthepublic；thesecond，theconsciousnessthatthepublicwereadmittedintothebuilding。Underthelattergreatwrong，afewsuffereddreadfully——particularlyonSundays，whentheyhadforsometimeexpectedtheearthtoopenandswallowthepublicup；butwhichdesirableeventhadnotyetoccurred，inconsequenceofsomereprehensiblelaxityinthearrangementsoftheUniverse。
　　MrsGowan’sdoorwasattendedbyafamilyservantofseveralyears’
　　standing，whohadhisowncrowtopluckwiththepublicconcerningasituationinthePost-Officewhichhehadbeenforsometimeexpecting，andtowhichhewasnotyetappointed。Heperfectlyknewthatthepubliccouldneverhavegothimin，buthegrimlygratifiedhimselfwiththeideathatthepublickepthimout。
　　Undertheinfluenceofthisinjuryandperhapsofsomelittlestraitnessandirregularityinthematterofwages，hehadgrownneglectfulofhispersonandmoroseinmind；andnowbeholdinginClennamoneofthedegradedbodyofhisoppressors，receivedhimwithignominy。
　　MrsGowan，however，receivedhimwithcondescension。Hefoundheracourtlyoldlady，formerlyaBeauty，andstillsufficientlywell-
　　favouredtohavedispensedwiththepowderonhernoseandacertainimpossiblebloomundereacheye。Shewasalittleloftywithhim；sowasanotheroldlady，dark-browedandhigh-nosed，andwhomusthavehadsomethingrealaboutherorshecouldnothaveexisted，butitwascertainlynotherhairorherteethorherfigureorhercomplexion；sowasagreyoldgentlemanofdignifiedandsullenappearance；bothofwhomhadcometodinner。But，astheyhadallbeenintheBritishEmbassywayinsundrypartsoftheearth，andasaBritishEmbassycannotbetterestablishacharacterwiththeCircumlocutionOfficethanbytreatingitscompatriotswithillimitablecontemptelseitwouldbecomeliketheEmbassiesofothercountries，Clennamfeltthatonthewholetheylethimofflightly。
　　ThedignifiedoldgentlemanturnedouttobeLordLancasterStiltstalking，whohadbeenmaintainedbytheCircumlocutionOfficeformanyyearsasarepresentativeoftheBritannicMajestyabroad。
　　ThisnobleRefrigeratorhadicedseveralEuropeancourtsinhistime，andhaddoneitwithsuchcompletesuccessthattheverynameofEnglishmanyetstruckcoldtothestomachsofforeignerswhohadthedistinguishedhonourofrememberinghimatadistanceofaquarterofacentury。
　　Hewasnowinretirement，andhenceinaponderouswhitecravat，likeastiffsnow-driftwassoobligingastoshadethedinner。
　　TherewasawhisperofthepervadingBohemiancharacterinthenomadicnatureoftheserviceanditscuriousracesofplatesanddishes；butthenobleRefrigerator，infinitelybetterthanplateorporcelain，madeitsuperb。Heshadedthedinner，cooledthewines，chilledthegravy，andblightedthevegetables。
　　Therewasonlyoneotherpersonintheroom：amicroscopicallysmallfootboy，whowaitedonthemalevolentmanwhohadn’tgotintothePost-Office。Eventhisyouth，ifhisjacketcouldhavebeenunbuttonedandhisheartlaidbare，wouldhavebeenseen，asadistantadherentoftheBarnaclefamily，alreadytoaspiretoasituationunderGovernment。
　　MrsGowanwithagentlemelancholyuponher，occasionedbyherson’sbeingreducedtocourttheswinishpublicasafollowerofthelowArts，insteadofassertinghisbirthrightandputtingaringthroughitsnoseasanacknowledgedBarnacle，headedtheconversationatdinnerontheevildays。ItwasthenthatClennamlearnedforthefirsttimewhatlittlepivotsthisgreatworldgoesroundupon。
　　’IfJohnBarnacle，’saidMrsGowan，afterthedegeneracyofthetimeshadbeenfullyascertained，’ifJohnBarnaclehadbutabandonedhismostunfortunateideaofconciliatingthemob，allwouldhavebeenwell，andIthinkthecountrywouldhavebeenpreserved。’
　　Theoldladywiththehighnoseassented；butaddedthatifAugustusStiltstalkinghadinageneralwayorderedthecavalryoutwithinstructionstocharge，shethoughtthecountrywouldhavebeenpreserved。
　　ThenobleRefrigeratorassented；butaddedthatifWilliamBarnacleandTudorStiltstalking，whentheycameovertooneanotherandformedtheirever-memorablecoalition，hadboldlymuzzledthenewspapers，andrendereditpenalforanyEditor-persontopresumetodiscusstheconductofanyappointedauthorityabroadorathome，hethoughtthecountrywouldhavebeenpreserved。
　　ItwasagreedthatthecountryanotherwordfortheBarnaclesandStiltstalkingswantedpreserving，buthowitcametowantpreservingwasnotsoclear。ItwasonlyclearthatthequestionwasallaboutJohnBarnacle，AugustusStiltstalking，WilliamBarnacleandTudorStiltstalking，Tom，Dick，orHarryBarnacleorStiltstalking，becausetherewasnobodyelsebutmob。AndthiswasthefeatureoftheconversationwhichimpressedClennam，asamannotusedtoit，verydisagreeably：makinghimdoubtifitwerequiterighttositthere，silentlyhearingagreatnationnarrowedtosuchlittlebounds。Remembering，however，thatintheParliamentarydebates，whetheronthelifeofthatnation’sbodyorthelifeofitssoul，thequestionwasusuallyallaboutandbetweenJohnBarnacle，AugustusStiltstalking，WilliamBarnacleandTudorStiltstalking，Tom，Dick，orHarryBarnacleorStiltstalking，andnobodyelse；hesaidnothingonthepartofmob，bethinkinghimselfthatmobwasusedtoit。
　　MrHenryGowanseemedtohaveamaliciouspleasureinplayingoffthethreetalkersagainsteachother，andinseeingClennamstartledbywhattheysaid。Havingassupremeacontemptfortheclassthathadthrownhimoffasfortheclassthathadnottakenhimon，hehadnopersonaldisquietinanythingthatpassed。HishealthystateofmindappearedeventoderiveagratificationfromClennam’spositionofembarrassmentandisolationamongthegoodcompany；andifClennamhadbeeninthatconditionwithwhichNobodywasincessantlycontending，hewouldhavesuspectedit，andwouldhavestruggledwiththesuspicionasameanness，evenwhilehesatatthetable。
　　InthecourseofacoupleofhoursthenobleRefrigerator，atnotimelessthanahundredyearsbehindtheperiod，gotaboutfivecenturiesinarrears，anddeliveredsolemnpoliticaloraclesappropriatetothatepoch。Hefinishedbyfreezingacupofteaforhisowndrinking，andretiringathislowesttemperature。ThenMrsGowan，whohadbeenaccustomedinherdaysofavacantarm-
　　chairbesidehertowhichtosummonstatetoretainherdevotedslaves，onebyone，forshortaudiencesasmarksofherespecialfavour，invitedClennamwithaturnofherfantoapproachthepresence。Heobeyed，andtookthetripodrecentlyvacatedbyLordLancasterStiltstalking。
　　’MrClennam，’saidMrsGowan，’apartfromthehappinessIhaveinbecomingknowntoyou，thoughinthisodiouslyinconvenientplace——
　　amerebarrack——thereisasubjectonwhichIamdyingtospeaktoyou。Itisthesubjectinconnectionwithwhichmysonfirsthad，Ibelieve，thepleasureofcultivatingyouracquaintance。’
　　Clennaminclinedhishead，asagenerallysuitablereplytowhathedidnotyetquiteunderstand。
　　’First，’saidMrsGowan，’now，isshereallypretty？’
　　Innobody’sdifficulties，hewouldhavefounditverydifficulttoanswer；verydifficultindeedtosmile，andsay’Who？’