“Iwassureshewouldthinkbetterofit。Pooroldfellow!
I’vebeenthroughitall,andIcansympathize。“
Withthatheheavedagreatsigh,andthen,asifhehaddischargedhisdutytothepast,puthisfeetuponthesofaandenjoyedAmy’sletterluxuriously。
Whilethesechangesweregoingonabroad,troublehadcomeathome。ButthelettertellingthatBethwasfailingneverreachedAmy,andwhenthenextfoundheratVevay,fortheheathaddriventhemfromNiceinMay,andtheyhadtravelledslowlytoSwitzerland,bywayofGenoaandtheItalianlakes。Sheboreitverywell,andquietlysubmittedtothefamilydecreethatsheshouldnotshortenhervisit,forsinceitwastoolatetosaygoodbyetoBeth,shehadbetterstay,andletabsencesoftenhersorrow。Butherheartwasveryheavy,shelongedtobeathome,andeverydaylookedwistfullyacrossthelake,waitingforLaurietocomeandcomforther。
Hedidcomeverysoon,forthesamemailbroughtletterstothemboth,buthewasinGermany,andittooksomedaystoreachhim。Themomenthereadit,hepackedhisknapsack,badeadieutohisfellowpedestrians,andwasofftokeephispromise,withaheartfullofjoyandsorrow,hopeandsuspense。
HeknewVevaywell,andassoonastheboattouchedthelittlequay,hehurriedalongtheshoretoLaTour,wheretheCarrolswerelivingenpension。Thegarconwasindespairthatthewholefamilyhadgonetotakeapromenadeonthelake,butno,theblondemademoisellemightbeinthechateaugarden。Ifmonsierwouldgivehimselfthepainofsittingdown,aflashoftimeshouldpresenther。Butmonsieurcouldnotwaitevena`flashoftime’,andinthemiddleofthespeechdepartedtofindmademoisellehimself。
Apleasantoldgardenonthebordersofthelovelylake,withchestnutsrustlingoverhead,ivyclimbingeverywhere,andtheblackshadowofthetowerfallingfaracrossthesunnywater。Atonecornerofthewide,lowwallwasaseat,andhereAmyoftencametoreadorwork,orconsoleherselfwiththebeautyallabouther。Shewassittingherethatday,leaningherheadonherhand,withahomesickheartandheavyeyes,thinkingofBethandwonderingwhyLauriedidnotcome。Shedidnothearhimcrossthecourtyardbeyond,norseehimpauseinthearchwaythatledfromthesubterraneanpathintothegarden。Hestoodaminutelookingatherwithneweyes,seeingwhatnoonehadeverseenbefore,thetendersideofAmy’scharacter。
Everythingabouthermutelysuggestedloveandsorrow,theblottedlettersinherlap,theblackribbonthattiedupherhair,thewomanlypainandpatienceinherface,eventhelittleebonycrossatherthroatseemedpathetictoLaurie,forhehadgivenittoher,andsheworeitasheronlyornament。
Ifhehadanydoubtsaboutthereceptionshewouldgivehim,theyweresetatresttheminuteshelookedupandsawhim,fordroppingeverything,sherantohim,exclaiminginatoneofunmistakableloveandlonging……
“Oh,Laurie,Laurie,Iknewyou’dcometome!“
Ithinkeverythingwassaidandsettledthen,forastheystoodtogetherquitesilentforamoment,withthedarkheadbentdownprotectinglyoverthelightone,AmyfeltthatnoonecouldcomfortandsustainhersowellasLaurie,andLauriedecidedthatAmywastheonlywomanintheworldwhocouldfillJo’splaceandmakehimhappy。Hedidnottellherso,butshewasnotdisappointed,forbothfeltthetruth,weresatisfied,andgladlylefttheresttosilence。
InaminuteAmywentbacktoherplace,andwhileshedriedhertears,Lauriegatheredupthescatteredpapers,findinginthesightofsundrywell-wornlettersandsuggestivesketchesgoodomensforthefuture。Ashesatdownbesideher,amyfeltshyagain,andturnedrosyredattherecollectionofherimpulsivegreeting。
“Icouldn’thelpit,Ifeltsolonelyandsad,andwassoverygladtoseeyou。Itwassuchasurprisetolookupandfindyou,justasIwasbeginningtofearyouwouldn’tcome,“shesaid,tryinginvaintospeakquitenaturally。
“IcametheminuteIheard。IwishIcouldsaysomethingtocomfortyouforthelossofdearlittleBeth,butIcanonlyfeel,and……“Hecouldnotgetanyfurther,forhertooturnedbashfulallofasudden,anddidnotquiteknowwhattosay。HelongedtolayAmy’sheaddownonhisshoulder,andtellhertohaveagoodcry,buthedidnotdare,sotookherhandinstead,andgaveitasympatheticsqueezethatwasbetterthanwords。
“Youneedn’tsayanything,thiscomfortsme,“shesaidsoftly。“Bethiswellandhappy,andImustn’twishherback,butIdreadthegoinghome,muchasIlongtoseethemall。
Wewon’ttalkaboutitnow,foritmakesmecry,andIwanttoenjoyyouwhileyoustay。Youneedn’tgorightback,needyou?“
“Notifyouwantme,dear。“
“Ido,somuch。AuntandFloareverykind,butyouseemlikeoneofthefamily,anditwouldbesocomfortabletohaveyouforalittlewhile。“
AmyspokeandlookedsolikeahomesickchildwhoseheartwasfullthatLaurieforgothisbashfulnessallatonce,andgaveherjustwhatshewanted——thepettingshewasusedtoandthecheerfulconversationsheneeded。
“Poorlittlesoul,youlookasifyou’dgrievedyourselfhalfsick!I’mgoingtotakecareofyou,sodon’tcryanymore,butcomeandwalkaboutwithme,thewindistoochillyforyoutositstill,“hesaid,inthehalf-caressing,half-commandingwaythatAmyliked,ashetiedonherhat,drewherarmthroughhis,andbegantopaceupanddownthesunnywalkunderthenew-leavedchestnuts。Hefeltmoreateaseuponhislegs,andAmyfounditpleasanttohaveastrongarmtoleanupon,afamiliarfacetosmileather,andakindvoicetotalkdelightfullyforheralone。
Thequaintoldgardenhadshelteredmanypairsoflovers,andseemedexpresslymadeforthem,sosunnyandsecludedwasit,withnothingbutthetowertooverlookthem,andthewidelaketocarryawaytheechooftheirwords,asitrippledbybelow。Foranhourthisnewpairwalkedandtalked,orrestedonthewall,enjoyingthesweetinfluenceswhichgavesuchacharmtotimeandplace,andwhenanunromanticdinnerbellwarnedthemaway,Amyfeltasifsheleftherburdenoflonlinessandsorrowbehindherinthechateaugarden。
ThemomentMrs。Carrolsawthegirl’salteredface,shewasilluminatedwithanewidea,andexclaimedtoherself,“NowIunderstanditall——thechildhasbeenpiningforyoungLaurence。Blessmyheart,Ineverthoughtofsuchathing!“
Withpraiseworthydiscretion,thegoodladysaidnothing,andbetrayednosignofenlightenment,butcordiallyurgedLaurietostayandbeggedAmytoenjoyhissociety,foritwoulddohermoregoodthansomuchsolitude。Amywasamodelofdocility,andasherauntwasagooddealoccupiedwithFlo,shewaslefttoentertainherfriend,anddiditwithmorethanherusualsuccess。
AtNice,LauriehadloungedandAmyhadscolded。AtVevay,Lauriewasneveridle,butalwayswalking,riding,boating,orstudyinginthemostenergeticmanner,whileAmyadmiredeverythinghedidandfollowedhisexampleasfarandasfastasshecould。Hesaidthechangewasowingtotheclimate,andshedidnotcontradicthim,beinggladofalikeexcuseforherownrecoveredhealthandspirits。
Theinvigoratingairdidthembothgood,andmuchexerciseworkedwholesomechangesinmindsaswellasbodies。
Theyseemedtogetclearerviewsoflifeanddutyupthereamongtheeverlastinghills。Thefreshwindsblewawaydespondingdoubts,delusivefancies,andmoodymists。Thewarmspringsunshinebroughtoutallsortsofaspiringideas,tenderhopes,andhappythoughts。Thelakeseemedtowashawaythetroublesofthepast,andthegrandoldmountainstolookbenignlydownuponthemsaying,“Littlechildren,loveoneanother。“
Inspiteofthenewsorrow,itwasaveryhappytime,sohappythatLauriecouldnotbeartodisturbitbyaword。Ittookhimalittlewhiletorecoverfromhissurpriseatthecureofhisfirst,andashehadfirmlybelieved,hislastandonlylove。HeconsoledhimselffortheseemingdisloyaltybythethoughtthatJo’ssisterwasalmostthesameasJo’sself,andtheconvictionthatitwouldhavebeenimpossibletoloveanyotherwomanbutAmysosoonandsowell。Hisfirstwooinghadbeenofthetempestuousorder,andhelookedbackupon;itasifthroughalongvistaofyearswithafeelingofcompassionblendedwithregret。Hewasnotashamedofit,butputitawayasoneofthebitter-sweetexperiencesofhislife,forwhichhecouldbegratefulwhenthepainwasover。
Hissecondwooing,heresolved,shouldbeascalmandsimpleaspossible。Therewasnoneedofhavingascene,hardlyanyneedoftellingAmythathelovedher,sheknewitwithoutwordsandhadgivenhimhisanswerlongago。Itallcameaboutsonaturallythatnoonecouldcomplain,andheknewthateverybodywouldbepleased,evenJo。Butwhenourfirstlittlepassionhasbeencrushed,weareapttobewaryandslowinmakingasecondtrial,soLaurieletthedayspass,enjoyingeveryhour,andleavingtochancetheutteranceofthewordthatwouldputanendtothefirstandsweetestpartofhisnewromance。
Hehadratherimaginedthatthedenoumentwouldtakeplaceinthechateaugardenbymoonlight,andinthemostgracefulanddecorusmanner,butitturnedoutexactlythereverse,forthematterwassettledonthelakeatnoondayinafewbluntwords。
Theyhadbeenfloatingaboutallthemorning,fromgloomySt。GingolftosunnyMontreux,withtheAlpsofSavoyononeside,MontSt。BernardandtheDentduMidiontheother,prettyVevayinthevalley,andLausanneuponthehillbeyond,acloudlessblueskyoverhead,andthebluerlakebelow,dottedwiththepicturesqueboatsthatlooklikewhite-wingedgulls。
TheyhadbeentalkingofBonnivard,astheyglidedpastChillon,andofRousseau,astheylookedupatClarens,wherehewrotehisHeloise。Neitherhadreadit,buttheyknewitwasalovestory,andeachprivatelywonderedifitwashalfasinterestingastheirown。Amyhadbeendabblingherhandinthewaterduringthelittlepausethatfellbetweenthem,andwhenshelookedup,Lauriewasleaningonhisoarswithanexpressioninhiseyesthatmadehersayhastily,merelyforthesakeofsayingsomething……
“Youmustbetired。Restalittle,andletmerow。Itwilldomegood,forsinceyoucameIhavebeenaltogetherlazyandluxurious。“
“I’mnottired,butyoumaytakeanoar,ifyoulike。There’sroomenough,thoughIhavetositnearlyinthemiddle,elsetheboatwon’ttrim,“returnedLaurie,asifheratherlikedthearrangment。
Feelingthatshehadnotmendedmattersmuch,Amytooktheofferedthirdofaseat,shookherhairoverherface,andacceptedanoar。Sherowedaswellasshedidmanyotherthings,andthoughsheusedbothhands,andLauriebutone,theoarskepttime,andtheboatwentsmoothlythroughthewater。
“Howwellwepulltogether,don’twe?“saidAmy,whoobjectedtosilencejustthen。
“SowellthatIwishwemightalwayspullinthesameboat。
Willyou,Amy?“verytenderly。
“Yes,Laurie,“verylow。
Thentheybothstoppedrowing,andunconsciouslyaddedaprettylittletableauofhumanloveandhappinesstothedissolvingviewsreflectedinthelake。
Itwaseasytopromiseself-abnegationwhenselfwaswrappedupinanother,andheartandsoulwerepurifiedbyasweetexample。Butwhenthehelpfulvoicewassilent,thedailylessonover,thebelovedpresencegone,andnothingremainedbutlonlinessandgrief,thenJofoundherpromiseveryhardtokeep。Howcouldshe`comfortFatherandMother’whenherownheartachedwithaceaselesslongingforhersister,howcouldshe`makethehousecheerful’whenallitslightandwarmthandbeautyseemedtohavedeserteditwhenBethlefttheoldhomeforthenew,andwhereinalltheworldcouldshe`findsomeuseful,happyworktodo’,thatwouldtaketheplaceofthelovingservicewhichhadbeenitsownreward?Shetriedinablind,hopelesswaytodoherduty,secretlyrebellingagainstitallthewhile,foritseemedunjustthatherfewjoysshouldbelessened,herburdensmadeheavier,andlifegetharderandharderasshetoiledalong。Somepeopleseemedtogetallsunshine,andsomeallshadow。Itwasnotfair,forshetriedmorethanAmytobegood,butnevergotanyreward,onlydisappointment,troubleandhardwork。
PoorJo,theseweredarkdaystoher,forsomethinglikedespaircameoverherwhenshethoughtofspendingallherlifeinthatquiethouse,devotedtohumdrumcares,afewsmallpleasures,andthedutythatneverseemedtogrowanyeasier。“Ican’tdoit。
Iwasn’tmeantforalifelikethis,andIknowIshallbreakawayanddosomethingdesperateifsomebodydoesn’tcomeandhelpme,“
shesaidtoherself,whenherfirsteffortsfailedandshefellintothemoody,miserablestateofmindwhichoftencomeswhenstrongwillshavetoyieldtotheinevitable。
Butsomeonedidcomeandhelpher,thoughJodidnotrecognizehergoodangelsatoncebecausetheyworefamiliarshapesandusedthesimplespellsbestfittedtopoorhumanity。Oftenshestartedupatnight,thinkingBethcalledher,andwhenthesightofthelittleemptybedmadehercrywiththebittercryofunsubmissivesorrow,“Oh,Beth,comeback!Comeback!“shedidnotstretchoutheryearningarmsinvain。For,asquicktohearhersobbingasshehadbeentohearhersister’sfaintestwhisper,hermothercametocomforther,notwithwordsonly,butthepatienttendernessthatsoothesbyatouch,tearsthatweremuteremindersofagreatergriefthanJo’s,andbrokenwhispers,moreeloquentthanprayers,becausehopefulresignationwenthand-in-handwithnaturalsorrow。