JustasBillywasabouttoleavethehousethetelephonebelljangledagain。
　　ItwasAliceGreggory。
　　Billy，dear，’shecalled，can’tyoucomeout？Mr。ArkwrightandMr。Calderwellarehere，andthey’vebroughtsomenewmusic。Wewantyou。Willyoucome？’
　　Ican’t，dear。Bertramwantsme。He’ssentforme。I’vegotsome_housewifely_dutiestoperformto-day，’returnedBilly，inavoicesocuriouslytriumphantthatAlice，atherendofthewires，frownedinpuzzledwonderassheturnedawayfromthetelephone。
　　Bertramtoldafriendafterwardsthatheneverknewthemeaningofthewordchaos’untilhehadseentheStrataduringtheweeksimmediatelyfollowingthelayingawayofhisoldservant。
　　Everystratumwasaquiverwithapprehension，’
　　hedeclared；andtherewasneveranytellingwhenthenextgrandupheavalwouldrockthewholestructuretoitsfoundations。’
　　NorwasBertramsofarfrombeingright。Itwas，indeed，achaos，asnoneknewbetterthandidBertram’swife。
　　PoorBilly!SorryindeedwerethesedaysforBilly；and，asiftomakehercupofwoefulltooverflowing，therewereSisterKate’sepistolaryItoldyouso，’andAuntHannah’severrecurringlament：Ifonly，Billy，youwereapracticalhousekeeperyourself，theywouldn’timposeonyouso!’
　　AuntHannah，tobesure，offeredRosa，andKate，byletter，offeredadvice——plentyofit。
　　ButBilly，stungbeyondallendurance，andfairlyradiatinghurtprideanddoggeddetermination，disdainedallassistance，and，withheadheldhigh，declaredshewasgettingalongverywell，verywellindeed!
　　Andthiswasthewayshegotalong。’
　　FirstcameNora。Norawasablue-eyed，black-
　　hairedIrishgirl，thesixththatthedespairingBillyhadinterviewedonthatfatefulmorningwhenBertramhadsummonedhertohisaid。
　　Norastayedtwodays。DuringherreigntheentireStrataechoedtobangeddoors，droppedchina，andslammedfurniture。AtherdeparturetheHenshaws’possessionswerelessbyfourcups，twosaucers，oneplate，onesaladbowl，twocutglasstumblers，andateapot——thelatterWilliam’schoicestbitofLowestoft。
　　Olgacamenext。OlgawasaTreasure。Shewaslow-voiced，gentle-eyed，andagoodcook。
　　Shestayedaweek。BythattimethegrowingfrequencyofthedisappearanceofsundrysmallarticlesofvalueandconvenienceledtoBilly’smakingareluctantsearchofOlga’sroom——andtoOlga’sdeparture；fortheroomwas，indeed，atreasurehouse，theTreasurehavinggathereduntoitselfothertreasures。
　　FollowingOlgacameaperiodofwhatBertramcalledonenightstands，’sofrequentlywerethedramatispersonbelowstairschanged。Gretchendrank。ChristineknewonlyfourwordsofEnglish：
　　salt，good-by，no，andyes；andBillyfoundneedoccasionallyofusingotherwords。Marywasimpertinentandlazy。Jenniecouldnotevenboilapotatoproperly，muchlesscookadinner。
　　Sarahcoloredwaswillingandpleasant，butinsufferablyuntidy。Bridgetwasneatnessitself，butshehadnoconceptionofthevalueoftime。
　　Hermealswerealwaysfromthirtytosixtyminuteslate，andhalf-cookedatthat。Verasang——whenshewasn’twhistling——andasshewasgenerallyoffthekey，andalwaysoffthetune，heralmostfranticmistressdismissedherbeforetwenty-fourhourshadpassed。ThencameMaryEllen。
　　MaryEllenbeganwell。Shewasneat，capable，andobliging；butitdidnottakeherlongtodiscoverjusthowmuch——andhowlittle——hermistressreallyknewofpracticalhousekeeping。
　　Mattersandthingswereverydifferentthen。
　　MaryEllenbecameargumentative，impertinent，anddomineering。Sheopenlyshirkedherwork，whenitpleasedhersotodo，anddemandedperquisitesandprivilegessoinsolentlythatevenWilliamaskedBillyonedaywhetherMaryEllenorBillyherselfwerethemistressoftheStrata：
　　andBertram，withmockhumility，inquiredhow_soon_MaryEllenwouldbewantingthehouse。
　　Billy，inwearydespair，submittedtothisbullyingforalmostaweek；then，inasuddenaccessionofoutrageddignitythatleftMaryEllengaspingwithsurprise，shetoldthegirltogo。
　　Andthusthedayspassed。Themaidscameandthemaidswent，and，toBilly，eachoneseemedalittleworsethantheonebefore。Nowherewastherecomfort，rest，orpeacefulness。Thenightswereatortureofapprehension，andthedaysanevengreatertortureoffulfilment。Noise，confusion，mealspoorlycookedandworseserved，dust，disorder，anduncertainty。Andthiswas_home_，Billytoldherselfbitterly。NowonderthatBertramtelephonedmoreandmorefrequentlythathehadmetafriend，andwasdiningintown。NowonderthatWilliampushedbackhisplatealmosteverymealwithhisfoodscarcelytouched，andthenwanderedaboutthehousewiththathungry，homesick，homelesslookthatnearlybrokeherheart。Nowonder，indeed!
　　Andsoithadcome。Itwastrue。AuntHannahandKateandtheTalktoYoungWives’
　　wereright。ShehadnotbeenfittomarryBertram。
　　Shehadnotbeenfittomarryanybody。
　　Herhoneymoonwasnotonlywaning，butgoingintoatotaleclipse。HadnotBertramalreadydeclaredthatifshewouldtendtoherhusbandandherhomealittlemore——
　　Billyclenchedhersmallhandsandsetherroundchinsquarely。
　　Verywell，shewouldshowthem。Shewouldtendtoherhusbandandherhome。Shefanciedshecould_learn_torunthathouse，andrunitwell!
　　Andforthwithshedescendedtothekitchenandtoldthethenreigningtormentorthatherwageswouldbepaiduntiltheendoftheweek，butthatherserviceswouldbeimmediatelydispensedwith。
　　Billywaswellawarenowthathousekeepingwasamatterofmorethanmuffinsanddatepuffs。
　　Shecouldgauge，inameasure，themagnitudeofthetasktowhichshehadsetherself。Butshedidnotfalter；andverysystematicallyshesetaboutmakingherplans。
　　Withagoodstoutwomantocomeintwiceaweekfortheheavierwork，shebelievedshecouldmanagebyherselfverywelluntilElizacouldcomeback。Atleastshecouldservemorepalatablemealsthanthemostofthosethathadappearedlately；andatleastshecouldtrytomakeahomethatwouldnotdriveBertramtoclubdinners，andUncleWilliamtohungrywanderingsfromroomtoroom。Meanwhile，allthetime，shecouldbelearning，andinduecourseshewouldreachthatshininggoalofHousekeepingEfficiency，shortofwhich——accordingtoAuntHannahandtheTalktoYoungWives’——nowomanneedhopeforawanelesshoneymoon。
　　Sochaoticanderratichadbeenthehouseholdservice，andsoquietlydidBillyslipintohernewrole，thatitwasnotuntilthesecondmealafterthemaid’sdeparturethatthemasterofthehousediscoveredwhathadhappened。Then，ashiswiferosetogetsomeforgottenarticle，hequestioned，withupliftedeyebrows：
　　Toogoodtowaituponus，ismyladynow，eh？’
　　Myladyiswaitingonyou，’smiledBilly。
　　Yes，Isee_this_ladyis，’retortedBertram，grimly；butImeanourrealladyinthekitchen。
　　GreatScott，Billy，howlongareyougoingtostandthis？’
　　Billytossedherheadairily，thoughsheshookinhershoes。Billyhadbeendreadingthismoment。
　　I’mnotstandingit。She’sgone，’respondedBilly，cheerfully，resumingherseat。UncleWilliam，sha’n’tIgiveyousomemorepudding？’
　　Gone，sosoon？’groanedBertram，asWilliampassedhisplate，withasmilingnod。Oh，well，’wentonBertram，resignedly，shestayedlongerthanthelastone。Whenisthenextonecoming？’
　　She’salreadyhere。’
　　Bertramfrowned。
　　Here？But——youservedthedessert，and——’
　　AtsomethinginBilly’sface，aquicksuspicioncameintohisown。Billy，youdon’tmeanthatyou——_you_——’
　　Yes，’shenoddedbrightly，that’sjustwhatImean。I’mthenextone。’
　　Nonsense!’explodedBertram，wrathfully。
　　Oh，come，Billy，we’vebeenalloverthisbefore。YouknowIcan’thaveit。’
　　Yes，youcan。You’vegottohaveit，’
　　retortedBilly，stillwiththatdisarming，airycheerfulness。Besides，’twon’tbehalfsobadasyouthink。Wasn’tthatagoodpuddingto-night？
　　Didn’tyoubothcomebackformore？Well，I
　　madeit。’
　　Puddings!’ejaculatedBertram，withanimpatientgesture。Billy，asI’vesaidbefore，ittakessomethingbesidespuddingstorunthishouse。’
　　Yes，Iknowitdoes，’dimpledBilly，andI’vegotMrs。Durginforthatpart。She’scomingtwiceaweek，andmore，ifIneedher。Why，dearie，youdon’tknowanythingabouthowcomfortableyou’regoingtobe!I’llleaveittoUncleWilliamif——’
　　ButUncleWilliamhadgone。Silentlyhehadslippedfromhischairanddisappeared。UncleWilliam，itmightbementionedinpassing，hadneverquiteforgottenAuntHannah’sfatefulcallwithitsdirerevelationsconcerningacertainunwanted，superfluous，third-partyhusband’sbrother。Rememberingthis，thereweretimeswhenhethoughtabsencewasbothsafestandbest。Thiswasoneofthetimes。
　　But，Billy，dear，’stillarguedBertram，irritably，howcanyou？Youdon’tknowhow。
　　You’vehadnoexperience。’
　　Billythrewbackhershoulders。Anominouslightcametohereyes。Shewasnolongerairilyplayful。
　　That’sexactlyit，Bertram。Idon’tknowhow——butI’mgoingtolearn。Ihaven’thadexperience——butI’mgoingtogetit。I_can’t_
　　makeaworsemessofitthanwe’vehadeversinceElizawent，anyway!’
　　Butifyou’dgetamaid——agoodmaid，’
　　persistedBertram，feebly。
　　Ihad_one_——MaryEllen。Shewasagoodmaid——untilshefoundouthowlittlehermistressknew；then——well，youknowwhatitwasthen。DoyouthinkI’dletthatthinghappentomeagain？No，sir!I’mgoingintotrainingfor——mynextMaryEllen!’AndwithaverymajesticairBillyrosefromthetableandbegantoclearawaythedishes。