Jeremy’sface,raisedtohisfather’s,washardandsetandsullen。
“I’vetoldalie,“hesaid;“IsaidI’dcleanedmyteethwhenI
hadn’t。Nursewentandlooked,andthenIcalledherabeastlywoman。“
TheJampot’sfaceexpressedagrievedandatthesametimetriumphantconfirmationofthis。
“Youtoldalie?“Mr。Cole’svoicewasfullofalingeringsorrow。
“Yes,“saidJeremy。
“Areyousorry?“
“I’msorrythatItoldalie,butI’mnotsorryIcalledNurseabeastlywoman。“
“Jeremy!“
“No,I’mnot。Sheisabeastlywoman。“
Mr。Colewasalwaysatalosswhenanyonedefiedhim,eventhoughitwereonlyasmallboyofeight。Hetookrefugenowinhisecclesiasticalandparentalauthority。
“I’mverydistressed——verydistressedindeed。Ihopethatpunishment,Jeremy,willshowyouhowwrongyouhavebeen。I’mafraidyoucannotcomewithustothePantomimeto-night。“
AtthatjudgementaquiverforaninstantheldJeremy’sface,turningit,forthatmoment,intosomethingshapelessandold。Hishearthadgivenawildleapofterroranddismay。Butheshowednofurthersign。Hesimplystoodtherewaiting。
Mr。Colewasbaffled,ashealwayswasbyJeremy’smoods,sohecontinued:
“Anduntilyou’veapologisedtoNurseforyourrudenessyoumustremainbyyourself。Ishallforbidyoursisterstospeaktoyou。
MaryandHelen,youarenottospeaktoyourbrotheruntilhehasapologisedtoNurse。“
“Yes,Father,“saidHelen“Oh,Father,mayn’thecometo-night?“saidMary。
“No,Mary,I’mafraidnot。“
Atearrolleddownhercheek。“Itwon’tbeanyfunwithoutJeremy,“
shesaid。ShewishedtomakethefurthersacrificeofsayingthatshewouldnotgounlessJeremydid,butsomenaturalcautionrestrainedher。
Mr。Cole,hisfaceheavywithsorrow,departed。AtthedumbmiseryofJeremy’sfacetheJampot’shear——inrealityakindandevensentimentalheart——repentedher。
“There,MasterJeremy,youbeagoodboyallday,andIdaresayyourfatherwilltakeyou,afterall;andwewon’tthinknomoreaboutwhatyousaidtomeinthe’eatofthemoment。“
ButJeremyanswerednothing;nordidherespondtothesmellofbacon,northeadvancesofHamlet,northefloodofsunlightthatpouredintotheroomfromthefrostyworldoutside。
Acompletecatastrophe。Theynoneofthemhadwantedtoseethisthingwiththeurgentexcitementthathehadfelt。Theyhadnotdreamtofitfordaysandnightsandnightsanddays,ashehaddone。Theirwholefutureexistencedidnotdependupontheirwitnessingthis,asdidhis。
Duringthatmorninghewasadesperatecreature,likesomethingcagedandtortured。Dohappymiddle-agedphilosophersassureusthatchildrenarelight-heartedandunfeelinganimals?LetthemrealisesomethingoftheagonywhichJeremysufferedthatday。Hiswholeworldhadgone。
Hewaswicked,anoutcast;hiswordcouldneverbetrustedagain;hewouldbepointedat,astheboywhohadtoldalie……AndhewouldnotmeetDickWhittington。
Theeternityofhispunishmenthungaroundhisnecklikeanironchain。Childhood’stragediesareterribletragedies,becauseachildhasnosenseoftime;amoment’sdismayiseternal;acarelesswordfromanelderisalastingjudgment;aninstant’sfollyisalifetime’smistake。
Thedaydraggeditswearylengthalong,andhescarcelymovedfromhiscornerbythefire。Hedidnotattemptconversationwithanyone。
OnceortwicetheJampottriedtopenetratebehindthatlittlemaskofangeranddismay。
“Come,now,thingsaren’tsobadasallthat。Youbeagoodboy,andgoandtellyourfatheryou’resorry……“or“Well,then,MasterJeremy,there’llbeanothertime,Idaresay,youcangotothethe-
ayter……“
Butshefoundnoresponse。Iftherewasonethingthatshehated,itwassulks。Heretheywere,sulksoftheworst——andso,likemanywiserthanherself,shecoveredupwithawordasituationthatshedidnotunderstand,andleftitatthat。
Theeveningcameon;thecurtainsweredrawn。Teaarrived;stillJeremysatthere,notspeaking,notraisinghiseyes,acondemnedcreature。MaryandHelenandHamlethadhadawretchedday。Theyallsympathisedwithhim。
Thegirlswenttodress。Seveno’clockstruck。TheyweretakendownstairsbyNurse,whohadhereveningout。Rose,thehousemaid,wouldsitwithMasterJeremy。
Doorsclosed,doorsopened,voicesechoed,carriage-wheelswereheard。
JeremyandHamletwerelefttothemselves……
III
Thelastdoorhadclosed,andthesuddensensethateveryonehadgoneandthathemightbehavenowashepleased,removedthearmourinwhichalldayhehadencasedhimself。
Heraisedhishead,lookedaboutthedesertednursery,andthen,withthesuddenconsciousnessofthatotherlightedandbusiedplacewhereWhittingtonwaspursuinghisadventures,heburstintotears。
Hesobbed,hisheaddownuponhisarms,andhisbodysqueezedtogethersothathiskneeswereclosetohisnoseandhishairinhisboots。Hamletrestoredhimtohimself。Insteadofassistinghismaster’sgrief,asasentimentaldogwouldhavedone,bysighingorsniffingorhowling,heyawned,stretchedhimself,androlledonthecarpet。Hedidnotbelieveingivingwaytofeelings,andhewassurprised,andperhapsdisappointed,atJeremy’slackofrestraint。
Jeremyfeltthis,andinalittlewhilesobscameveryslowly,andatlastwereonlylittleshudders,ratherpleasantandhealthy。Helookedabouthim,rubbedhisrednosewithahideouslydirtyhandkerchief,andfeltimmenselysleepy。
No,hewouldnotcryanymore。Rosewouldshortlyappear,andhedidnotintendtocrybeforehousemaids。Nevertheless,hisdesolationwassupreme。Hewasaliar。Hehadtoldliesbefore,buttheyhadnotbeendiscovered,andsotheywerescarcelylies……Now,insomestrangeway,thepublicationofhisliehadshownhimwhattrulyimpossiblethingslieswere。Hehadwitnessedthiseffectuponthegeneralpublic;hehadnotbelievedthathewassowicked。Hedidnotevennowfeelreallywicked,buthesawquiteclearlythattherewasoneworldforliarsandonefortruthfulmen。Hewanted,terriblybadly,someonetotellhimthathewasstillintherightworld……
Andthen,ontheotherside,thethoughtthatMaryandHelenwereatthisverymomentwitnessingthecolouredhistoryofDickWhittinglon,thehistorythathehadpursuedceaselesslyduringallthesedaysandnights——thatpictureofthemallinthelightedtheatre——oncemorenearlyovercamehim。Buthepulledhimselftogether。
Hesniffed,lefthisdirtyhandkerchief,andwentslowlyandsorrowfullytodragouthistoyvillagefromitscornerandseewhetheranythingcouldbedonewithit……Afterall,hewasgoingtoschoolinSeptember。Hispunishmentcouldnotbequitelimitless。
HamlethadjustshownhisapprovalofthismanlyconductbystrollingupandsniffingattheNoahfamily,whowere,asusual,ontheirwaytochurch,whenthedoorsuddenlyopened,andincameUncleSamuel。
Jeremyhadforgottenhisuncle,andnowblinkedupathimfromthefloor,wherehewassquatting,ratherashamedofhisswolleneyesandrednose。
UncleSamuel,however,hadnotimefordetails;hewasapparentlyinahurry。Hedidnotwearhisbluepainting-smock,butwasinacomparativelycleanblacksuit,andonthebackofhisheadwasasquashybrownhat。
“Comeon,“hesaid,“orweshallbetoolate。“
Jeremychoked。“Toolate?“herepeated。
“You’recoming,aren’tyou——tothePantomime?Theysentmebackforyou。“
Theroomsuddenlygotontoitslegs,likethefoodandthefamiliesduringAlice’sfeastinthe“LookingGlass,“andswunground,lurchingfromsidetoside,andcausingthefiretorunintothegasandthegastoflyoutofthewindow。
“I——don’t——understand,“Jeremystammered。
“Well,ifyoudon’tunderstandinhalfashake,“saidUncleSamuel,“youwon’tseeanyoftheshowatall。Goon。Washyourface。TherearestreaksofdirtalldownitasthoughyouwereapaintedIndian;
stickonyourcapandcoatandbootsandcomealong。“
ExactlyasonemovesinsleepsoJeremynowmoved。Hehadoncehadawonderfuldream,inwhichhehadbeenatamealthatincludedeverythingthathehadmostloved——fish-cakes,sausages,ices,strawberryjam,sponge-cake,chocolates,andscrambledeggs——andhehadbeenabletoeat,andeat,andhadneverbeensatisfied,andhadneverfeltsick——alovelydream。
Heoftenthoughtofit。Andnowinthesamebewilderingfashionhefoundhisbootsandcapandcoatandthen,deliberatelykeepingfromhimthethoughtofthePantomimelestheshouldsuddenlywakeup,hesaid: