`ItismorethanIhadrememberedmyself。’
　　HerMajesty’sschool-inspectorwasatthattimepaying`surprise-visits’
　　inthisneighbourhoodtotesttheteachingunawares；andtwodayslater，inthemiddleofthemorninglessons，thelatchofthedoorwassoftlylifted，andinwalkedmygentleman，thekingofterrors-topupil-teachers。
　　ToMr。Phillotsonthesurprisewasnotgreat；liketheladyinthestoryhehadbeenplayedthattricktoomanytimestobeunprepared。
　　ButSue’sclasswasatthefurtherendoftheroom，andherbackwastowardstheentrance；theinspectorthereforecameandstoodbehindherandwatchedherteachingsomehalf-minutebeforeshebecameawareofhispresence。
　　Sheturned，andrealizedthatanoft-dreadedmomenthadcome。Theeffectuponhertimiditywassuchthatsheutteredacryoffright。Phillotson，withastrangeinstinctofsolicitudequitebeyondhiscontrol，wasathersidejustintimetopreventherfallingfromfaintness。Shesoonrecoveredherself，andlaughed；butwhentheinspectorhadgonetherewasareaction，andshewassowhitethatPhillotsontookherintohisroom，andgavehersomebrandytobringherround。Shefoundhimholdingherhand。
　　`Yououghttohavetoldme，’shegaspedpetulantly，`thatoneoftheinspector’ssurprise-visitswasimminent！Oh，whatshallIdo！Nowhe’llwriteandtellthemanagersthatIamnogood，andIshallbedisgracedforever！’
　　`Hewon’tdothat，mydearlittlegirl。YouarethebestteachereverIhad！’
　　Helookedsogentlyatherthatshewasmoved，andregrettedthatshehadupbraidedhim。Whenshewasbettershewenthome。
　　JudeinthemeantimehadbeenwaitingimpatientlyforFriday。
　　OnbothWednesdayandThursdayhehadbeensomuchundertheinfluenceofhisdesiretoseeherthathewalkedafterdarksomedistancealongtheroadinthedirectionofthevillage，and，onreturningtohisroomtoread，foundhimselfquiteunabletoconcentratehismindonthepage。
　　OnFriday，assoonashehadgothimselfupashethoughtSuewouldliketoseehim，andmadeahastytea，hesetout，notwithstandingthattheeveningwaswet。Thetreesoverheaddeepenedthegloomofthehour，andtheydrippedsadlyuponhim，impressinghimwithforebodings-illogicalforebodings；forthoughheknewthathelovedherhealsoknewthathecouldnotbemoretoherthanhewas。
　　Onturningthecornerandenteringthevillagethefirstsightthatgreetedhiseyeswasthatoftwofiguresunderoneumbrellacomingoutofthevicaragegate。Hewastoofarbackforthemtonoticehim，butheknewinamomentthattheywereSueandPhillotson。Thelatterwasholdingtheumbrellaoverherhead，andtheyhadevidentlybeenpayingavisittothevicar-probablyonsomebusinessconnectedwiththeschoolwork。
　　AndastheywalkedalongthewetanddesertedlaneJudesawPhillotsonplacehisarmroundthegirl’swaist；whereuponshegentlyremovedit；
　　buthereplacedit；andsheletitremain，lookingquicklyroundherwithanairofmisgiving。Shedidnotlookabsolutelybehindher，andthereforedidnotseeJude，whosankintothehedgelikeonestruckwithablight。
　　ThereheremainedhiddentilltheyhadreachedSue’scottageandshehadpassedin，Phillotsongoingontotheschoolhardby。
　　`Oh，he’stoooldforher-tooold！’criedJudeinalltheterriblesicknessofhopeless，handicappedlove。
　　Hecouldnotinterfere。WashenotArabella’s？Hewasunabletogoonfurther，andretracedhisstepstowardsChristminster。Everytreadofhisfeetseemedtosaytohimthathemustonnoaccountstandintheschoolmaster’swaywithSue。Phillotsonwasperhapstwentyyearshersenior，butmanyahappymarriagehadbeenmadeinsuchconditionsofage。Theironicalclinchtohissorrowwasgivenbythethoughtthattheintimacybetweenhiscousinandtheschoolmasterhadbeenbroughtaboutentirelybyhimself。
　　JudetheObscureChapter17II-viJude’soldandembitteredauntlayunwellatMarygreen，andonthefollowingSundayhewenttoseeher-avisitwhichwastheresultofavictoriousstruggleagainsthisinclinationtoturnasidetothevillageofLumsdonandobtainamiserableinterviewwithhiscousin，inwhichthewordnearesthisheartcouldnotbespoken，andthesightwhichhadtorturedhimcouldnotberevealed。
　　Hisauntwasnowunabletoleaveherbed，andagreatpartofJude’sshortdaywasoccupiedinmakingarrangementsforhercomfort。Thelittlebakerybusinesshadbeensoldtoaneighbour，andwiththeproceedsofthisandhersavingsshewascomfortablysuppliedwithnecessariesandmore，awidowofthesamevillagelivingwithherandministeringtoherwants。Itwasnottillthetimehadnearlycomeforhimtoleavethatheobtainedaquiettalkwithher，andhiswordstendedinsensiblytowardshiscousin。
　　`WasSuebornhere？’
　　`Shewas-inthisroom。Theywerelivinghereatthattime。Whatmade’eeaskthat？’
　　`Oh-Iwantedtoknow。’
　　`Nowyou’vebeenseeingher！’saidtheharsholdwoman。`AndwhatdidItell’ee？’
　　`Well-thatIwasnottoseeher。’
　　`Haveyougossipedwithher？’
　　`Yes。’
　　`Thendon’tkeepitup。Shewasbroughtupbyherfathertohatehermother’sfamily；andshe’lllookwithnofavouruponaworkingchaplikeyou-atownishgirlasshe’sbecomebynow。Inevercaredmuchabouther。Apertlittlething，that’swhatshewastoooften，withhertight-strainednerves。Many’sthetimeI’vesmackedherforherimpertinence。Why，onedaywhenshewaswalkingintothepondwithhershoesandstockingsoff，andherpetticoatspulledaboveherknees，aforeIcouldcryoutforshame，shesaid：`Moveon，Aunty！Thisisnosightformodesteyes！’’
　　`Shewasalittlechildthen。’
　　`Shewastwelveifaday。’
　　`Well-ofcourse。Butnowshe’soldershe’sofathoughtful，quivering，tendernature，andassensitiveas-’
　　`Jude！’criedhisaunt，springingupinbed。`Don’tyoubeafoolabouther！’
　　`No，no，ofcoursenot。’
　　`YourmarryingthatwomanArabellawasaboutasbadathingasamancouldpossiblydoforhimselfbytryinghard。Butshe’sgonetotheothersideoftheworld，andmednevertroubleyouagain。Andthere’llbeaworsethingifyou，tiedandboundasyoube，shouldhaveafancyforSue。Ifyourcousinisciviltoyou，takehercivilityforwhatitisworth。Butanythingmorethanarelation’sgoodwishesitisstarkmadnessfor’eetogiveher。Ifshe’stownishandwantonitmedbring’eetoruin。’
　　`Don’tsayanythingagainsther，Aunt！Don’t，please！’
　　Areliefwasaffordedtohimbytheentryofthecompanionandnurseofhisaunt，whomusthavebeenlisteningtotheconversation，forshebeganacommentaryonpastyears，introducingSueBrideheadasacharacterinherrecollections。ShedescribedwhatanoddlittlemaidSuehadbeenwhenapupilatthevillageschoolacrossthegreenopposite，beforeherfatherwenttoLondon-how，whenthevicararrangedreadingsandrecitations，sheappearedontheplatform，thesmallestofthemall，`inherlittlewhitefrock，andshoes，andpinksash’；howsherecited`Excelsior，’`Therewasasoundofrevelrybynight，’and`TheRaven’；howduringthedeliveryshewouldknitherlittlebrowsandglareroundtragically，andsaytotheemptyair，asifsomerealcreaturestoodthere-`Ghastly，grim，andancientRaven，wanderingfromtheNightlyshore，TellmewhatthylordlynameisontheNight’sPlutonianshore！’`She’dbringupthenastycarrionbirdthatclear，’corroboratedthesickwomanreluctantly，`asshestoodthereinherlittlesashandthings，thatyoucouldseeuna’mostbeforeyourveryeyes。Youtoo，Jude，hadthesametrickasachildofseemingtoseethingsintheair。’
　　TheneighbourtoldalsoofSue’saccomplishmentsinotherkinds：
　　`Shewasnotexactlyatomboy，youknow；butshecoulddothingsthatonlyboysdo，asarule。I’veseenherhitinandsteerdownthelongslideonyonderpond，withherlittlecurlsblowing，oneofafileoftwentymovingalongagainsttheskylikeshapespaintedonglass，andupthebackslidewithoutstopping。Allboysexceptherself；andthenthey’dcheerher，andthenshe’dsay，`Don’tbesaucy，boys，’andsuddenlyrunindoors。
　　They’dtrytocoaxheroutagain。But’awouldn’tcome。’
　　TheseretrospectivevisionsofSueonlymadeJudethemoremiserablethathewasunabletowooher，andheleftthecottageofhisauntthatdaywithaheavyheart。HewouldfainhaveglancedintotheschooltoseetheroominwhichSue’slittlefigurehadsoglorifieditself；buthecheckedhisdesireandwenton。
　　ItbeingSundayeveningsomevillagerswhohadknownhimduringhisresidenceherewerestandinginagroupintheirbestclothes。Judewasstartledbyasalutefromoneofthem：
　　`Ye’vegotthererightenough，then！’
　　Judeshowedthathedidnotunderstand。
　　`Why，totheseatofl’arning-the`CityofLight’youusedtotalktousaboutasalittleboy！Isitallyouexpectedofit？’
　　`Yes；more！’criedJude。
　　`WhenIwasthereonceforanhourIdidn’tseemuchinitformypart；auldcrumblingbuildings，halfchurch，halfalmshouse，andnotmuchgoingonatthat。’
　　`Youarewrong，John；thereismoregoingonthanmeetstheeyeofamanwalkingthroughthestreets。Itisauniquecentreofthoughtandreligion-theintellectualandspiritualgranaryofthiscountry。
　　Allthatsilenceandabsenceofgoings-onisthestillnessofinfinitemotion-thesleepofthespinning-top，toborrowthesimileofawell-knownwriter。’
　　`Oh，well，itmedbeallthat，oritmednot。AsIsay，Ididn’tseenothingofitthehourortwoIwasthere；soIwentinandhadapoto’beer，andapennyloaf，andaha’portho’cheese，andwaitedtillitwastimetocomealonghome。You’vej’inedacollegebythistime，Isuppose？’
　　`Ah，no！’saidJude。`Iamalmostasfaroffthatasever。’
　　`Howso？’
　　Judeslappedhispocket。
　　`Justwhatwethought！Suchplacesbenotforsuchasyou-onlyforthemwithplentyo’money。’
　　`Thereyouarewrong，’saidJude，withsomebitterness。`Theyareforsuchones！’
　　Still，theremarkwassufficienttowithdrawJude’sattentionfromtheimaginativeworldhehadlatelyinhabited，inwhichanabstractfigure，moreorlesshimself，wassteepinghismindinasublimationoftheartsandsciences，andmakinghiscallingandelectionsuretoaseatintheparadiseofthelearned。Hewassetregardinghisprospectsinacoldnorthernlight。HehadlatelyfeltthathecouldnotquitesatisfyhimselfinhisGreek-intheGreekofthedramatistsparticularly。Sofatiguedwashesometimesafterhisday’sworkthathecouldnotmaintainthecriticalattentionnecessaryforthoroughapplication。Hefeltthathewantedacoach-afriendathiselbowtotellhiminamomentwhatsometimeswouldoccupyhimawearymonthinextractingfromunanticipative，clumsybooks。
　　Itwasdecidedlynecessarytoconsiderfactsalittlemorecloselythanhehaddoneoflate。Whatwasthegood，afterall，ofusinguphissparehoursinavaguelabourcalled`privatestudy’withoutgivinganoutlookonpracticabilities？
　　`Ioughttohavethoughtofthisbefore，’hesaid，ashejourneyedback。`ItwouldhavebeenbetternevertohaveembarkedintheschemeatallthantodoitwithoutseeingclearlywhereIamgoing，orwhatIamaimingat……Thishoveringoutsidethewallsofthecolleges，asifexpectingsomearmtobestretchedoutfromthemtoliftmeinside，won’tdo！Imustgetspecialinformation。’
　　Thenextweekaccordinglyhesoughtit。Whatatfirstseemedanopportunityoccurredoneafternoonwhenhesawanelderlygentleman，whohadbeenpointedoutastheheadofaparticularcollege，walkinginthepublicpathofaparklikeenclosurenearthespotatwhichJudechancedtobesitting。Thegentlemancamenearer，andJudelookedanxiouslyathisface。Itseemedbenign，considerate，yetratherreserved。OnsecondthoughtsJudefeltthathecouldnotgoupandaddresshim；buthewassufficientlyinfluencedbytheincidenttothinkwhatawisethingitwouldbeforhimtostatehisdifficultiesbylettertosomeofthebestandmostjudiciousoftheseoldmasters，andobtaintheiradvice。
　　Duringthenextweekortwoheaccordinglyplacedhimselfinsuchpositionsaboutthecityaswouldaffordhimglimpsesofseveralofthemostdistinguishedamongtheprovosts，wardens，andotherheadsofhouses；
　　andfromthoseheultimatelyselectedfivewhosephysiognomiesseemedtosaytohimthattheywereappreciativeandfar-seeingmen。Tothesefiveheaddressedletters，brieflystatinghisdifficulties，andaskingtheiropiniononhisstrandedsituation。
　　WhentheletterswerepostedJudementallybegantocriticizethem；hewishedtheyhadnotbeensent。`Itisjustoneofthoseintrusive，vulgar，pushing，applicationswhicharesocommoninthesedays，’hethought。