JudetheObscureChapter09I-ixItwassometwomonthslaterintheyear,andthepairhadmetconstantlyduringtheinterval。Arabellaseemeddissatisfied;shewasalwaysimagining,andwaiting,andwondering。
OnedayshemettheitinerantVilbert。She,likeallthecottagersthereabout,knewthequackwell,andshebegantellinghimofherexperiences。
Arabellahadbeengloomy,butbeforehelefthershehadgrownbrighter。
ThateveningshekeptanappointmentwithJude,whoseemedsad。
`Iamgoingaway,’hesaidtoher。`IthinkIoughttogo。Ithinkitwillbebetterbothforyouandforme。Iwishsomethingshadneverbegun!Iwasmuchtoblame,Iknow。Butitisnevertoolatetomend。’
Arabellabegantocry。`Howdoyouknowitisnottoolate?’shesaid。`That’sallverywelltosay!Ihaven’ttoldyouyet!’andshelookedintohisfacewithstreamingeyes。
`What?’heasked,turningpale。`Not……?’
`Yes!AndwhatshallIdoifyoudesertme?’
`Oh,Arabella-howcanyousaythat,mydear!YouknowIwouldn’tdesertyou!’
`Wellthen——’
`Ihavenexttonowagesasyet,youknow;orperhapsIshouldhavethoughtofthisbefore……But,ofcourseifthat’sthecase,wemustmarry!WhatotherthingdoyouthinkIcoulddreamofdoing?’
`Ithought-Ithought,deary,perhapsyouwouldgoawayallthemoreforthat,andleavemetofaceitalone!’
`Youknewbetter!OfcourseIneverdreamtsixmonthsago,oreventhree,ofmarrying。Itisacompletesmashingupofmyplans-ImeanmyplansbeforeIknewyou,mydear。Butwhatarethey,afterall!Dreamsaboutbooks,anddegrees,andimpossiblefellowships,andallthat。Certainlywe’llmarry:wemust!’
Thatnighthewentoutalone,andwalkedinthedarkself-communing。
Heknewwell,toowell,inthesecretcentreofhisbrain,thatArabellawasnotworthagreatdealasaspecimenofwomankind。Yet,suchbeingthecustomoftheruraldistrictsamonghonourableyoungmenwhohaddriftedsofarintointimacywithawomanasheunfortunatelyhaddone,hewasreadytoabidebywhathehadsaid,andtaketheconsequences。Forhisownsoothinghekeptupafactitiousbeliefinher。Hisideaofherwasthethingofmostconsequence,notArabellaherself,hesometimessaidlaconically。
ThebannswereputinandpublishedtheverynextSunday。ThepeopleoftheparishallsaidwhatasimplefoolyoungFawleywas。Allhisreadinghadonlycometothis,thathewouldhavetosellhisbookstobuysaucepans。Thosewhoguessedtheprobablestateofaffairs,Arabella’sparentsbeingamongthem,declaredthatitwasthesortofconducttheywouldhaveexpectedofsuchanhonestyoungmanasJudeinreparationofthewronghehaddonehisinnocentsweetheart。Theparsonwhomarriedthemseemedtothinkitsatisfactorytoo。Andso,standingbeforetheaforesaidofficiator,thetwosworethatateveryothertimeoftheirlivestilldeathtookthem,theywouldassuredlybelieve,feel,anddesirepreciselyastheyhadbelieved,felt,anddesiredduringthefewprecedingweeks。
Whatwasasremarkableastheundertakingitselfwasthefactthatnobodyseemedatallsurprisedatwhattheyswore。
Fawley’sauntbeingabakershemadehimabride-cake,sayingbitterlythatitwasthelastthingshecoulddoforhim,poorsillyfellow;
andthatitwouldhavebeenfarbetterif,insteadofhislivingtotroubleher,hehadgoneundergroundyearsbeforewithhisfatherandmother。OfthiscakeArabellatooksomeslices,wrappedthemupinwhitenote-paper,andsentthemtohercompanionsinthepork-dressingbusiness,AnnyandSarah,labellingeachpacket“Inremembranceofgoodadvice。“
Theprospectsofthenewlymarriedcouplewerecertainlynotverybrillianteventothemostsanguinemind。He,astone-mason’sapprentice,nineteenyearsofage,wasworkingforhalfwagestillheshouldbeoutofhistime。
Hiswifewasabsolutelyuselessinatown-lodging,whereheatfirsthadconsidereditwouldbenecessaryforthemtolive。ButtheurgentneedofaddingtoincomeineversolittleadegreecausedhimtotakealonelyroadsidecottagebetweentheBrownHouseandMarygreen,thathemighthavetheprofitsofavegetablegarden,andutilizeherpastexperiencesbylettingherkeepapig。Butitwasnotthesortoflifehehadbargainedfor,anditwasalongwaytowalktoandfromAlfredstoneveryday。Arabella,however,feltthatallthesemake-shiftsweretemporary;shehadgainedahusband;thatwasthething-ahusbandwithalotofearningpowerinhimforbuyingherfrocksandhatswhenheshouldbegintogetfrightenedabit,andsticktohistrade,andthrowasidethosestupidbooksforpracticalundertakings。
Sotothecottagehetookherontheeveningofthemarriage,givinguphisoldroomathisaunt’s-wheresomuchofthehardlabouratGreekandLatinhadbeencarriedon。
Alittlechilloverspreadhimatherfirstunrobing。Alongtailofhair,whichArabellaworetwistedupinanenormousknobatthebackofherhead,wasdeliberatelyunfastened,strokedout,andhunguponthelooking-glasswhichhehadboughther。
`What-itwasn’tyourown?’hesaid,withasuddendistasteforher。
`Ohno-itneverisnowadayswiththebetterclass。’
`Nonsense!Perhapsnotintowns。Butinthecountryitissupposedtobedifferent。Besides,you’veenoughofyourown,surely?’
`Yes,enoughascountrynotionsgo。Butintownthemenexpectmore,andwhenIwasbarmaidatAldbrickham——’
`BarmaidatAldbrickham?’
`Well,notexactlybarmaid-Iusedtodrawthedrinkatapublic-housethere-justforalittletime;thatwasall。Somepeopleputmeuptogettingthis,andIboughtitjustforafancy。ThemoreyouhavethebetterinAldbrickham,whichisafinertownthanallyourChristminsters。Everyladyofpositionwearsfalsehair-thebarber’sassistanttoldmeso。’
Judethoughtwithafeelingofsicknessthatthoughthismightbetruetosomeextent,forallthatheknew,manyunsophisticatedgirlswouldanddidgototownsandremainthereforyearswithoutlosingtheirsimplicityoflifeandembellishments。Others,alas,hadaninstincttowardsartificialityintheirveryblood,andbecameadeptsincounterfeitingatthefirstglimpseofit。However,perhapstherewasnogreatsininawomanaddingtoherhair,andheresolvedtothinknomoreofit。
Anew-madewifecanusuallymanagetoexciteinterestforafewweeks,eventhoughtheprospectsofthehouse-holdwaysandmeansarecloudy。
Thereisacertainpiquancyabouthersituation,andhermannertoheracquaintanceatthesenseofit,whichcarriesoffthegloomoffacts,andrenderseventhehumblestbrideindependentawhileofthereal。Mrs。
JudeFawleywaswalkinginthestreetsofAlfredstononemarket-daywiththisqualityinhercarriagewhenshemetAnnyherformerfriend,whomshehadnotseensincethewedding。
Asusualtheylaughedbeforetalking;theworldseemedfunnytothemwithoutsayingit。
`Soitturnedoutagoodplan,yousee!’remarkedthegirltothewife。`Iknewitwouldwithsuchashim。He’sadeargoodfellow,andyououghttobeproudofun。’
`Iam,’saidMrs。Fawleyquietly。
`Andwhendoyouexpect?’
`Ssh!Notatall。’
`What!’
`Iwasmistaken。’
`Oh,Arabella,Arabella;youbeadeepone!Mistaken!well,that’sclever-it’sarealstrokeofgenius!ItisathingIneverthoughto’,wi’allmyexperience!Ineverthoughtbeyondbringingabouttherealthing-notthatonecouldshamit!’
`Don’tyoubetooquicktocrysham!’Twasn’tsham。Ididn’tknow。’
`Myword-won’thebeinataking!He’llgiveitto’eeo’Saturdaynights!Whateveritwas,he’llsayitwasatrick-adoubleone,bytheLord!’
`I’llowntothefirst,butnottothesecond……Pooh-hewon’tcare!He’llbegladIwaswronginwhatIsaid。He’llshakedown,bless’ee-menalwaysdo。Whatcan’emdootherwise?Marriedismarried。’
NeverthelessitwaswithalittleuneasinessthatArabellaapproachedthetimewheninthenaturalcourseofthingsshewouldhavetorevealthatthealarmshehadraisedhadbeenwithoutfoundation。Theoccasionwasoneeveningatbedtime,andtheywereintheirchamberinthelonelycottagebythewaysidetowhichJudewalkedhomefromhisworkeveryday。
Hehadworkedhardthewholetwelvehours,andhadretiredtorestbeforehiswife。Whenshecameintotheroomhewasbetweensleepingandwaking,andwasbarelyconsciousofherundressingbeforethelittlelooking-glassashelay。
Oneactionofhers,however,broughthimtofullcognition。Herfacebeingreflectedtowardshimasshesat,hecouldperceivethatshewasamusingherselfbyartificiallyproducingineachcheekthedimplebeforealludedto,acuriousaccomplishmentofwhichshewasmistress,effectingitbyamomentarysuction。Itseemedtohimforthefirsttimethatthedimpleswerefaroftenerabsentfromherfaceduringhisintercoursewithhernowadaysthantheyhadbeenintheearlierweeksoftheiracquaintance。
`Don’tdothat,Arabella!’hesaidsuddenly。`Thereisnoharminit,but-Idon’tliketoseeyou。’
Sheturnedandlaughed。`Lord,Ididn’tknowyouwereawake!’
shesaid。`Howcountrifiedyouare!That’snothing。’
`Wheredidyoulearnit?’
`NowherethatIknowof。TheyusedtostaywithoutanytroublewhenIwasatthepublic-house;butnowtheywon’t。Myfacewasfatterthen。’
`Idon’tcareaboutdimples。Idon’tthinktheyimproveawoman-particularlyamarriedwoman,andoffull-sizedfigurelikeyou。’
`Mostmenthinkotherwise。’
`Idon’tcarewhatmostmenthink,iftheydo。Howdoyouknow?’
`IusedtobetoldsowhenIwasservinginthetap-room。’
`Ah-thatpublic-houseexperienceaccountsforyourknowingabouttheadulterationofthealewhenwewentandhadsomethatSundayevening。
IthoughtwhenImarriedyouthatyouhadalwayslivedinyourfather’shouse。’
`Yououghttohaveknownbetterthanthat,andseenIwasalittlemorefinishedthanIcouldhavebeenbystayingwhereIwasborn。Therewasnotmuchtodoathome,andIwaseatingmyheadoff,soIwentawayforthreemonths。’
`You’llsoonhaveplentytodonow,dear,won’tyou?’
`Howdoyoumean?’
`Why,ofcourse-littlethingstomake。’
`Oh。’
`Whenwillitbe?Can’tyoutellmeexactly,insteadofinsuchgeneraltermsasyouhaveused?’
`Tellyou?’
`Yes-thedate。’
`There’snothingtotell。Imadeamistake。’
`What?’
`Itwasamistake。’
Hesatboltuprightinbedandlookedather。`Howcanthatbe?’
`Womenfancywrongthingssometimes。’
`But-!Why,ofcourse,sounpreparedasIwas,withoutastickoffurniture,andhardlyashilling,Ishouldn’thavehurriedonouraffair,andbroughtyoutoahalf-furnishedhutbeforeIwasready,ifithadnotbeenforthenewsyougaveme,whichmadeitnecessarytosaveyou,readyorno……GoodGod!’
`Don’ttakeon,dear。What’sdonecan’tbeundone。’
`Ihavenomoretosay!’
Hegavetheanswersimply,andlaydown;andtherewassilencebetweenthem。
WhenJudeawokethenextmorningheseemedtoseetheworldwithadifferenteye。Astothepointinquestionhewascompelledtoacceptherword;inthecircumstanceshecouldnothaveactedotherwisewhileordinarynotionsprevailed。Buthowcametheytoprevail?