Thenherglancetookonacertainintentness,andshepeeredcuriouslyintohisface,sayingalmostinawhisper:
“I’mafraidofYOU。“
Butthedentistdidnotheedher。Animmensejoyseizeduponhim——thejoyofpossession。Trinawashisveryownnow。Shelaythereinthehollowofhisarm,helplessandverypretty。
Thoseinstinctsthatinhimweresoclosetothesurfacesuddenlyleapedtolife,shoutingandclamoring,nottoberesisted。Helovedher。Ah,didhenotloveher?Thesmellofherhair,ofherneck,rosetohim。
Suddenlyhecaughtherinbothhishugearms,crushingdownherstrugglewithhisimmensestrength,kissingherfulluponthemouth。ThenhergreatloveforMcTeaguesuddenlyflashedupinTrina’sbreast;shegaveuptohimasshehaddonebefore,yieldingallatoncetothatstrangedesireofbeingconqueredandsubdued。Sheclungtohim,herhandsclaspedbehindhisneck,whisperinginhisear:
“Oh,youmustbegoodtome——very,verygoodtome,dear——
foryou’reallthatIhaveintheworldnow。“
CHAPTER10
Thatsummerpassed,thenthewinter。ThewetseasonbeganinthelastdaysofSeptemberandcontinuedallthroughOctober,November,andDecember。Atlongintervalswouldcomeaweekofperfectdays,theskywithoutacloud,theairmotionless,buttouchedwithacertainnimbleness,afainteffervescencethatwasexhilarating。Then,withoutwarning,duringanightwhenasouthwindblew,agrayscrollofcloudwouldunrollandhanghighoverthecity,andtherainwouldcomepatteringdownagain,atfirstinscatteredshowers,theninanuninterrupteddrizzle。
AlldaylongTrinasatinthebaywindowofthesitting-roomthatcommandedaviewofasmallsectionofPolkStreet。Asoftenassheraisedherheadshecouldseethebigmarket,aconfectionerystore,abell-hanger’sshop,and,fartheron,abovetheroofs,theglassskylightsandwatertanksofthebigpublicbaths。Inthenearerforegroundranthestreetitself;thecablecarstrundledupanddown,thumpingheavilyoverthejointsoftherails;marketcartsbythescorecameandwent,drivenatagreatratebypreoccupiedyoungmenintheirshirtsleeves,withpencilsbehindtheirears,orbyrecklessboysinblood-stainedbutcher’saprons。
UponthesidewalksthelittleworldofPolkStreetswarmedandjostledthroughitsdailyroundoflife。Onfinedaysthegreatladiesfromtheavenue,oneblockabove,invadedthestreet,appearingbeforethebutcherstalls,intentupontheirday’smarketing。Onrainydaystheirservants——theChinesecooksorthesecondgirls——tooktheirplaces。Theseservantsgavethemselvesgreatairs,carryingtheirbigcottonumbrellasastheyhadseentheirmistressescarrytheirparasols,andhagglinginsuperciliousfashionwiththemarketmen,theirchinsintheair。
Therainpersisted。EverythingintherangeofTrina’svision,fromthetarpaulinsonthemarket-carthorsestothepanesofglassintheroofofthepublicbaths,lookedglazedandvarnished。Theasphaltofthesidewalksshonelikethesurfaceofapatentleatherboot;everyhollowinthestreethelditslittlepuddle,thatwinkedlikeaneyeeachtimeadropofrainstruckintoit。
TrinastillcontinuedtoworkforUncleOelbermann。Inthemorningsshebusiedherselfaboutthekitchen,thebedroom,andthesitting-room;butintheafternoon,fortwoorthreehoursafterlunch,shewasoccupiedwiththeNoah’sarkanimals。Shetookherworktothebaywindow,spreadingoutagreatsquareofcanvasunderneathherchair,tocatchthechipsandshavings,whichsheusedafterwardsforlightingfires。Oneafteranothershecaughtupthelittleblocksofstraight-grainedpine,theknifeflashedbetweenherfingers,thelittlefiguregrewrapidlyunderhertouch,wasfinishedandreadyforpaintinginawonderfullyshorttime,andwastossedintothebasketthatstoodatherelbow。
ButveryoftenduringthatrainywinterafterhermarriageTrinawouldpauseinherwork,herhandsfallingidlyintoherlap,hereyes——hernarrow,paleblueeyes——growingwideandthoughtfulasshegazed,unseeing,outintotherain-
washedstreet。
ShelovedMcTeaguenowwithablind,unreasoninglovethatadmittedofnodoubtorhesitancy。Indeed,itseemedtoherthatitwasonlyAFTERhermarriagewiththedentistthatshehadreallybeguntolovehim。Withtheabsolutefinalsurrenderofherself,theirrevocable,ultimatesubmission,hadcomeanaffectionthelikeofwhichshehadneverdreamedintheoldBStreetdays。ButTrinalovedherhusband,notbecauseshefanciedshesawinhimanyofthosenobleandgenerousqualitiesthatinspireaffection。Thedentistmightormightnotpossessthem,itwasallonewithTrina。Shelovedhimbecauseshehadgivenherselftohimfreely,unreservedly;hadmergedherindividualityintohis;
shewashis,shebelongedtohimforeverandforever。
Nothingthathecoulddososhetoldherself,nothingthatsheherselfcoulddo,couldchangeherinthisrespect。
McTeaguemightceasetoloveher,mightleaveher,mightevendie;itwouldbeallthesame,SHEWASHIS。
Butithadnotbeensoatfirst。Duringthoselong,rainydaysofthefall,dayswhenTrinawasleftaloneforhours,atthattimewhentheexcitementandnoveltyofthehoneymoonweredyingdown,whenthenewhouseholdwassettlingintoitsgrooves,shepassedthroughmanyanhourofmisgiving,ofdoubt,andevenofactualregret。
NeverwouldsheforgetoneSundayafternooninparticular。
Shehadbeenmarriedbutthreeweeks。AfterdinnersheandlittleMissBakerhadgoneforabitofawalktotakeadvantageofanhour’ssunshineandtolookatsomewonderfulgeraniumsinaflorist’swindowonSutterStreet。
Theyhadbeencaughtinashower,andonreturningtotheflatthelittledressmakerhadinsistedonfetchingTrinauptohertinyroomandbrewingheracupofstrongtea,“totakethechilloff。“Thetwowomenhadchattedovertheirteacupsthebetterpartoftheafternoon,thenTrinahadreturnedtoherrooms。FornearlythreehoursMcTeaguehadbeenoutofherthoughts,andasshecamethroughtheirlittlesuite,singingsoftlytoherself,shesuddenlycameuponhimquiteunexpectedly。Herhusbandwasinthe“DentalParlors,“lyingbackinhisoperatingchair,fastasleep。
Thelittlestovewascrammedwithcoke,theroomwasoverheated,theairthickandfoulwiththeodorsofether,ofcokegas,ofstalebeerandcheaptobacco。Thedentistsprawledhisgiganticlimbsoverthewornvelvetoftheoperatingchair;hiscoatandvestandshoeswereoff,andhishugefeet,intheirthickgraysocks,dangledovertheedgeofthefoot-rest;hispipe,fallenfromhishalf-openmouth,hadspilledtheashesintohislap;whileonthefloor,athissidestoodthehalf-emptypitcherofsteambeer。Hisheadhadrolledlimplyupononeshoulder,hisfacewasredwithsleep,andfromhisopenmouthcameaterrificsoundofsnoring。
ForamomentTrinastoodlookingathimashelaythus,prone,inert,half-dressed,andstupefiedwiththeheatoftheroom,thesteambeer,andthefumesofthecheaptobacco。Thenherlittlechinquiveredandasobrosetoherthroat;shefledfromthe“Parlors,“andlockingherselfinherbedroom,flungherselfonthebedandburstintoanagonyofweeping。Ah,no,ah,no,shecouldnotlovehim。
Ithadallbeenadreadfulmistake,andnowitwasirrevocable;shewasboundtothismanforlife。Ifitwasasbadasthisnow,onlythreeweeksafterhermarriage,howwoulditbeintheyearstocome?Yearafteryear,monthaftermonth,hourafterhour,shewastoseethissameface,withitssalientjaw,wastofeelthetouchofthoseenormousredhands,wastoheartheheavy,elephantinetreadofthosehugefeet——inthickgraysocks。Yearafteryear,dayafterday,therewouldbenochange,anditwouldlastallherlife。Eitheritwouldbeonelongcontinuedrevulsion,orelse——worsethanall——shewouldcometobecontentwithhim,wouldcometobelikehim,wouldsinktothelevelofsteambeerandcheaptobacco,andallherprettyways,herclean,trimlittlehabits,wouldbeforgotten,sincetheywouldbethrownawayuponherstupid,brutishhusband。“Herhusband!“THAT,washerhusbandinthere——shecouldyethearhissnores——forlife,forlife。
Agreatdespairseizeduponher。Sheburiedherfaceinthepillowandthoughtofhermotherwithaninfinitelonging。
Arousedatlengthbythechitteringofthecanary,McTeaguehadawakenedslowly。Afterawhilehehadtakendownhisconcertinaandplayeduponitthesixverymournfulairsthatheknew。
Facedownwarduponthebed,Trinastillwept。Throughoutthatlittlesuitecouldbeheardbuttwosounds,thelugubriousstrainsoftheconcertinaandthenoiseofstifledweeping。
ThatherhusbandshouldbeignorantofherdistressseemedtoTrinaanadditionalgrievance。Withperverseinconsistencyshebegantowishhimtocometoher,tocomforther。Heoughttoknowthatshewasintrouble,thatshewaslonelyandunhappy。
“Oh,Mac,“shecalledinatremblingvoice。Buttheconcertinastillcontinuedtowailandlament。ThenTrinawishedsheweredead,andontheinstantjumpedupandranintothe“DentalParlors,“andthrewherselfintoherhusband’sarms,crying:“Oh,Mac,dear,loveme,lovemebig!I’msounhappy。“
“What——what——what——“thedentistexclaimed,startingupbewildered,alittlefrightened。
“Nothing,nothing,onlyLOVEme,lovemealwaysandalways。“
Butthisfirstcrisis,thismomentaryrevolt,asmuchamatterofhigh-strungfemininenervesasofanythingelse,passed,andintheendTrina’saffectionforher“oldbear“
grewinspiteofherself。Shebegantolovehimmoreandmore,notforwhathewas,butforwhatshehadgivenuptohim。OnlyonceagaindidTrinaundergoareactionagainstherhusband,andthenitwasbutthematterofaninstant,broughton,curiouslyenough,bythesightofabitofeggonMcTeague’sheavymustacheonemorningjustafterbreakfast。
Then,too,thepairhadlearnedtomakeconcessions,littlebylittle,andallunconsciouslytheyadaptedtheirmodesoflifetosuiteachother。InsteadofsinkingtoMcTeague’slevelasshehadfeared,TrinafoundthatshecouldmakeMcTeaguerisetohers,andinthissawasolutionofmanyadifficultandgloomycomplication。
Foronething,thedentistbegantodressalittlebetter,TrinaevensucceedingininducinghimtowearahighsilkhatandafrockcoatofaSunday。NextherelinquishedhisSundayafternoon’snapandbeerinfavorofthreeorfourhoursspentintheparkwithher——theweatherpermitting。
SothatgraduallyTrina’smisgivingsceased,orwhentheydidassailher,shecouldatlastmeetthemwithashrugoftheshoulders,sayingtoherselfmeanwhile,“Well,it’sdonenowanditcan’tbehelped;onemustmakethebestofit。“
Duringthefirstmonthsoftheirmarriedlifethesenervousrelapsesofhershadalternatedwithbrusqueoutburstsofaffectionwhenheronlyfearwasthatherhusband’slovedidnotequalherown。Withoutaninstant’swarning,shewouldclasphimabouttheneck,rubbinghercheekagainsthis,murmuring:
“DearoldMac,Iloveyouso,Iloveyouso。Oh,aren’twehappytogether,Mac,justustwoandnooneelse?YoulovemeasmuchasIloveyou,don’tyou,Mac?Oh,ifyoushouldn’t——ifyouSHOULDN’T。“
ButbythemiddleofthewinterTrina’semotions,oscillatingatfirstfromoneextremetoanother,commencedtosettlethemselvestoanequilibriumofcalmnessandplacidquietude。Herhouseholddutiesbeganmoreandmoretoabsorbherattention,forshewasanadmirablehousekeeper,keepingthelittlesuiteinmarvellousgoodorderandregulatingthescheduleofexpenditurewithaneconomythatoftenborderedonpositiveniggardliness。Itwasapassionwithhertosavemoney。Inthebottomofhertrunk,inthebedroom,shehidabrassmatch-safethatansweredthepurposesofasavingsbank。Eachtimesheaddedaquarterorahalfdollartothelittlestoreshelaughedandsangwithaveritablechildishdelight;whereas,ifthebutcherormilkmancompelledhertopayanoverchargeshewasunhappyfortherestoftheday。Shedidnotsavethismoneyforanyulteriorpurpose,shehoardedinstinctively,withoutknowingwhy,respondingtothedentist’sremonstranceswith:
“Yes,yes,IknowI’malittlemiser,Iknowit。“
Trinahadalwaysbeenaneconomicallittlebody,butitwasonlysincehergreatwinninginthelotterythatshehadbecomeespeciallypenurious。Nodoubt,inherfearlesttheirgreatgoodluckshoulddemoralizethemandleadtohabitsofextravagance,shehadrecoiledtoofarintheotherdirection。Never,never,nevershouldapennyofthatmiraculousfortunebespent;rathershoulditbeaddedto。