”No;Idon’tknowthatIwanttohunt。Itmustbeawfullyexciting,ofcourse;butit’scruel,isn’tit?Junesaysso。””Cruel?”ejaculatedVal。”Oh!that’sallrot。Who’sJune?””Mysister——myhalf-sister,youknow——mucholderthanme。”ShehadputherhandsuptobothcheeksofJolly’shorse,andwasrubbinghernoseagainstitsnosewithagentlesnufflingnoisewhichseemedtohaveanhypnoticeffectontheanimal。Valcontemplatedhercheekrestingagainstthehorse’snose,andhereyesgleamingroundathim。’She’sreallyaduck,’hethought。Theyreturnedtothehouselesstalkative,followedthistimebythedogBalthasar,walkingmoreslowlythananythingonearth,andclearlyexpectingthemnottoexceedhisspeedlimit。”Thisisarippingplace,”saidValfromundertheoaktree,wheretheyhadpausedtoallowthedogBalthasartocomeup。”Yes,”saidHolly,andsighed。”OfcourseIwanttogoeverywhere。
IwishIwereagipsy。””Yes,gipsiesarejolly,”repliedVal,withaconvictionwhichhadjustcometohim;”you’reratherlikeone,youknow。”
Holly’sfaceshonesuddenlyanddeeply,likedarkleavesgildedbythesun。”Togomad-rabbitingeverywhereandseeeverything,andliveintheopen——oh!wouldn’titbefun?””Let’sdoit!”saidVal。”Ohyes,let’s!””It’dbegrandsport,justyouandI。”
ThenHollyperceivedthequaintnessandgushed。”Well,we’vegottodoit,”saidValobstinately,butreddeningtoo。”Ibelieveindoingthingsyouwanttodo。What’sdownthere?””Thekitchen-garden,andthepondandthecoppice,andthefarm。””Let’sgodown!”
Hollyglancedbackatthehouse。”It’stea-time,Iexpect;there’sDadbeckoning。”
Val,utteringagrowlysound,followedhertowardsthehouse。
Whentheyre-enteredthehallgallerythesightoftwomiddle-agedForsytesdrinkingteatogetherhaditsmagicaleffect,andtheybecamequitesilent。Itwas,indeed,animpressivespectacle。Thetwowereseatedsidebysideonanarrangementinmarqueteriewhichlookedlikethreesilverypinkchairsmadeone,withalowtea-tableinfrontofthem。Theyseemedtohavetakenupthatposition,asfarapartastheseatwouldpermit,sothattheyneednotlookateachothertoomuch;andtheywereeatinganddrinkingratherthantalking——Soameswithhisairofdespisingthetea-cakeasitdisappeared,Jolyonoffindinghimselfslightlyamusing。Tothecasualeyeneitherwouldhaveseemedgreedy,butbothweregettingthroughagooddealofsustenance。Thetwoyoungoneshavingbeensuppliedwithfood,theprocesswentonsilentandabsorbative,till,withtheadventofcigarettes,JolyonsaidtoSoames:”Andhow’sUncleJames?””Thanks,veryshaky。””We’reawonderfulfamily,aren’twe?TheotherdayIwascalculatingtheaverageageofthetenoldForsytesfrommyfather’sfamilyBible。Imakeiteighty-fouralready,andfivestillliving。Theyoughttobeattherecord;”andlookingwhimsicallyatSoames,headded:”Wearen’tthementheywere,youknow。”
Soamessmiled。’DoyoureallythinkIshalladmitthatI’mnottheirequal’;heseemedtobesaying,’orthatI’vegottogiveupanything,especiallylife?’”Wemaylivetotheirage,perhaps,”pursuedJolyon,”butself-
consciousnessisahandicap,youknow,andthat’sthedifferencebetweenus。We’velostconviction。Howandwhenself-consciousnesswasbornInevercanmakeout。Myfatherhadalittle,butIdon’tbelieveanyotheroftheoldForsyteseverhadascrap。Nevertoseeyourselfasothersseeyou,it’sawonderfulpreservative。Thewholehistoryofthelastcenturyisinthedifferencebetweenus。
Andbetweenusandyou,”headded,gazingthrougharingofsmokeatValandHolly,uncomfortableunderhisquizzicalregard,”there’llbe——anotherdifference。Iwonderwhat。”
Soamestookouthiswatch。”Wemustgo,”hesaid,”ifwe’retocatchourtrain。””UncleSoamesnevermissesatrain,”mutteredVal,withhismouthfull。”WhyshouldI?”Soamesansweredsimply。”Oh!Idon’tknow,”grumbledVal,”otherpeopledo。”
AtthefrontdoorhegaveHolly’sslimbrownhandalongandsurreptitioussqueeze。”Lookoutformeto-morrow,”hewhispered;”threeo’clock。I’llwaitforyouintheroad;it’llsavetime。We’llhavearippingride。”Hegazedbackatherfromthelodgegate,and,butfortheprinciplesofamanabouttown,wouldhavewavedhishand。Hefeltinnomoodtotoleratehisuncle’sconversation。Buthewasnotindanger。Soamespreservedaperfectmuteness,busywithfar-awaythoughts。
TheyellowleavescamedownaboutthosetwowalkingthemileandahalfwhichSoameshadtraversedsoofteninthoselong-agodayswhenhecamedowntowatchwithsecretpridethebuildingofthehouse——thathousewhichwastohavebeenthehomeofhimandherfromwhomhewasnowgoingtoseekrelease。Helookedbackonce,upthatendlessvistaofautumnlanebetweentheyellowinghedges。
Whatanageago!”Idon’twanttoseeher,”hehadsaidtoJolyon。
Wasthattrue?’Imayhaveto,’hethought;andheshivered,seizedbyoneofthosequeershudderingsthattheysaymeanfootstepsonone’sgrave。Achillyworld!Aqueerworld!Andglancingsidelongathisnephew,hethought:’WishIwerehisage!
Iwonderwhatshe’slikenow!’
CHAPTERVIII
JOLYONPROSECUTESTRUSTEESHIP
WhenthosetwoweregoneJolyondidnotreturntohispainting,fordaylightwasfailing,butwenttothestudy,cravingunconsciouslyarevivalofthatmomentaryvisionofhisfathersittingintheoldleatherchairwithhiskneescrossedandhisstraighteyesgazingupfromunderthedomeofhismassivebrow。Ofteninthislittleroom,cosiestinthehouse,Jolyonwouldcatchamomentofcommunionwithhisfather。Not,indeed,thathehaddefinitelyanyfaithinthepersistenceofthehumanspirit——thefeelingwasnotsological——itwas,rather,anatmosphericimpact,likeascent,oroneofthosestronganimisticimpressionsfromforms,oreffectsoflight,towhichthosewiththeartist’seyeareespeciallyprone。
Hereonly——inthislittleunchangedroomwherehisfatherhadspentthemostofhiswakinghours——couldberetrievedthefeelingthathewasnotquitegone,thatthesteadycounselofthatoldspiritandthewarmthofhismasterfullovabilityendured。
Whatwouldhisfatherbeadvisingnow,inthissuddenrecrudescenceofanoldtragedy——whatwouldhesaytothismenaceagainsthertowhomhehadtakensuchafancyinthelastweeksofhislife?’I
mustdomybestforher,’thoughtJolyon;’helefthertomeinhiswill。Butwhatisthebest?’
Andasifseekingtoregainthesapience,thebalanceandshrewdcommonsenseofthatoldForsyte,hesatdownintheancientchairandcrossedhisknees。Buthefeltamereshadowsittingthere;
nordidanyinspirationcome,whilethefingersofthewindtappedonthedarkeningpanesofthefrench-window。
’Goandseeher?’hethought,’oraskhertocomedownhere?
What’sherlifebeen?Whatisitnow,Iwonder?Beastlytorakeupthingsatthistimeofday。’Againthefigureofhiscousinstandingwithahandonafrontdoorofafineolive-greenleapedout,vivid,likeoneofthosefiguresfromold-fashionedclockswhenthehourstrikes;andhiswordssoundedinJolyon’searsclearerthananychime:”Imanagemyownaffairs。I’vetoldyouonce,Itellyouagain:Wearenotathome。”TherepugnancehehadthenfeltforSoames——forhisflat-cheeked,shavenfacefullofspiritualbull-doggedness;forhisspare,square,sleekfigureslightlycrouchedasitwereoverthebonehecouldnotdigest——
camenowagain,freshasever,nay,withanoddincrease。’I
dislikehim,’hethought,’Idislikehimtotheveryrootsofme。
Andthat’slucky;it’llmakeiteasierformetobackhiswife。’
Half-artist,andhalf-Forsyte,Jolyonwasconstitutionallyaversefromwhathetermed’ructions’;unlessangered,heconformeddeeplytothatclassicdescriptionoftheshe-dog,’Er’drutherrunthanfight。’Alittlesmilebecamesettledinhisbeard。IronicalthatSoamesshouldcomedownhere——tothishouse,builtforhimself!
Howhehadgazedandgapedatthisruinofhispastintention;
furtivelynosingatthewallsandstairway,appraisingeverything!
AndintuitivelyJolyonthought:’Ibelievethefellowevennowwouldliketobelivinghere。Hecouldneverleaveofflongingforwhatheonceowned!Well,Imustact,somehoworother;butit’sabore——agreatbore。’