dilectionsoftheEnglishmiddle-classtodealwith。AttheendofthegallerywasaMeissonierofwhichhewasratherashamed——
Meissonierwassosteadilygoingdown。MadameLamottestoppedbeforeit。”Meissonier!Ah!Whatajewel!”Soamestookadvantageofthatmoment。VerygentlytouchingAnnette’sarm,hesaid:”Howdoyoulikemyplace,Annette?”
Shedidnotshrink,didnotrespond;shelookedathimfull,lookeddown,andmurmured:”Whowouldnotlikeit?Itissobeautiful!””Perhapssomeday”Soamessaid,andstopped。
Soprettyshewas,soself-possessed——shefrightenedhim。Thosecornflower-blueeyes,theturnofthatcreamyneck,herdelicatecurves——shewasastandingtemptationtoindiscretion!No!No!
Onemustbesureofone’sground——muchsurer!’IfIholdoff,’hethought,’itwilltantaliseher。’AndhecrossedovertoMadameLamotte,whowasstillinfrontoftheMeissonier。”Yes,that’squiteagoodexampleofhislaterwork。Youmustcomeagain,Madame,andseethemlightedup。Youmustbothcomeandspendanight。”
Enchanted,woulditnotbebeautifultoseethemlighted?Bymoonlighttoo,therivermustberavishing!
Annettemurmured:”Thouartsentimental,Maman!”
Sentimental!Thatblack-robed,comely,substantialFrenchwomanoftheworld!Andsuddenlyhewascertainashecouldbethattherewasnosentimentineitherofthem。Allthebetter。Ofwhatusesentiment?Andyet……!
Hedrovetothestationwiththem,andsawthemintothetrain。TothetightenedpressureofhishanditseemedthatAnnette’sfingersrespondedjustalittle;herfacesmiledathimthroughthedark。
Hewentbacktothecarriage,brooding。”Goonhome,Jordan,”hesaidtothecoachman;”I’llwalk。”Andhestrodeoutintothedarkeninglanes,cautionandthedesireofpossessionplayingsee-sawwithinhim。’Bonsoir,monsieur!’Howsoftlyshehadsaidit。Toknowwhatwasinhermind!TheFrench——theywerelikecats——onecouldtellnothing!But——howpretty!Whataperfectyoungthingtoholdinone’sarms!Whatamotherforhisheir!
Andhethought,withasmile,ofhisfamilyandtheirsurpriseataFrenchwife,andtheircuriosity,andofthewayhewouldplaywithitandbuffetitconfoundthem!
The,poplarssighedinthedarkness;anowlhooted。Shadowsdeepenedinthewater。’Iwillandmustbefree,’hethought。’I
won’thangaboutanylonger。I’llgoandseeIrene。Ifyouwantthingsdone,dothemyourself。Imustliveagain——liveandmoveandhavemybeing。’Andinechotothatqueerbiblicalitychurch-
bellschimedthecalltoeveningprayer。
CHAPTERXI
ANDVISITSTHEPAST
OnaTuesdayeveningafterdiningathisclubSoamessetouttodowhatrequiredmorecourageandperhapslessdelicacythananythinghehadyetundertakeninhislife——saveperhapshisbirth,andoneotheraction。Hechosetheevening,indeed,partlybecauseIrenewasmorelikelytobein,butmainlybecausehehadfailedtofindsufficientresolutionbydaylight,hadneededwinetogivehimextradaring。
HelefthishansomontheEmbankment,andwalkeduptotheOldChurch,uncertainoftheblockofflatswhereheknewshelived。
Hefoundithidingbehindamuchlargermansion;andhavingreadthename,’Mrs。IreneHeron’——Heron,forsooth!Hermaidenname:sosheusedthatagain,didshe?——hesteppedbackintotheroadtolookupatthewindowsofthefirstfloor。Lightwascomingthroughinthecornerfiat,andhecouldhearapianobeingplayed。
Hehadneverhadaloveofmusic,hadsecretlyborneitagrudgeintheolddayswhensooftenshehadturnedtoherpiano,makingofitarefugeplaceintowhichsheknewhecouldnotenter。Repulse!
Thelongrepulse,atfirstrestrainedandsecret,atlastopen!
Bittermemorycamewiththatsound。Itmustbesheplaying,andthusalmostassuredofseeingher,hestoodmoreundecidedthanever。Shiversofanticipationranthroughhim;histonguefeltdry,hisheartbeatfast。’Ihavenocausetobeafraid,’hethought。Andthenthelawyerstirredwithinhim。Washedoingafoolishthing?Oughthenottohavearrangedaformalmeetinginthepresenceofhertrustee?No!NotbeforethatfellowJolyon,whosympathisedwithher!Never!Hecrossedbackintothedoorway,and,slowly,tokeepdownthebeatingofhisheart,mountedthesingleflightofstairsandrangthebell。Whenthedoorwasopenedtohimhissensationswereregulatedbythescentwhichcame——thatperfumefromawaybackinthepast,bringingmuffledremembrance:fragranceofadrawing-roomheusedtoenter,ofahouseheusedtoown——perfumeofdriedrose-leavesandhoney!”Say,Mr。Forsyte,”hesaid,”yourmistresswillseeme,Iknow。”
Hehadthoughtthisout;shewouldthinkitwasJolyon!
Whenthemaidwasgoneandhewasaloneinthetinyhall,wherethelightwasdimfromonepearly-shadedsconce,andwalls,carpet,everythingwassilvery,makingthewalled-inspaceallghostly,hecouldonlythinkridiculously:’ShallIgoinwithmyovercoaton,ortakeitoff?’Themusicceased;themaidsaidfromthedoorway:”Willyouwalkin,sir?”
Soameswalkedin。Henotedmechanicallythatallwasstillsilvery,andthattheuprightpianowasofsatinwood。Shehadrisenandstoodrecoiledagainstit;herhand,placedonthekeysasifgropingforsupport,hadstruckasuddendiscord,heldforamoment,andreleased。Thelightfromtheshadedpiano-candlefellonherneck,leavingherfaceratherinshadow。Shewasinablackeveningdress,withasortofmantillaoverhershoulders——hedidnotremembereverhavingseenherinblack,andthethoughtpassedthroughhim:’Shedressesevenwhenshe’salone。’”You!”heheardherwhisper。
ManytimesSoameshadrehearsedthissceneinfancy。Rehearsalservedhimnotatall。Hesimplycouldnotspeak。Hehadneverthoughtthatthesightofthiswomanwhomhehadoncesopassionatelydesired,socompletelyowned,andwhomhehadnotseenfortwelveyears,couldaffecthiminthisway。Hehadimaginedhimselfspeakingandacting,halfasmanofbusiness,halfasjudge。Andnowitwasasifhewereinthepresencenotofamerewomananderringwife,butofsomeforce,subtleandelusiveasatmo-sphereitselfwithinhimandoutside。Akindofdefensiveironywelledupinhim。”Yes,it’saqueervisit!Ihopeyou’rewell。””Thankyou。Willyousitdown?”
Shehadmovedawayfromthepiano,andgoneovertoawindow-seat,sinkingontoit,withherhandsclaspedinherlap。Lightfellonherthere,sothatSoamescouldseeherface,eyes,hair,strangelyasherememberedthem,strangelybeautiful。
Hesatdownontheedgeofasatinwoodchair,upholsteredwithsilver-colouredstuff,closetowherehewasstanding。”Youhavenotchanged,”hesaid。”No?Whathaveyoucomefor?””Todiscussthings。””Ihaveheardwhatyouwantfromyourcousin。””Well?””Iamwilling。Ihavealwaysbeen。”
Thesoundofhervoice,reservedandclose,thesightofherfigurewatchfullypoised,defensive,washelpinghimnow。Athousandmemoriesofher,everonthewatchagainsthim,stirred,and……”Perhapsyouwillbegoodenough,then,togivemeinformationonwhichIcanact。Thelawmustbecompliedwith。””Ihavenonetogiveyouthatyoudon’tknowof。”Twelveyears!DoyousupposeIcanbelievethat?””Idon’tsupposeyouwillbelieveanythingIsay;butit’sthetruth。”
Soameslookedatherhard。Hehadsaidthatshehadnotchanged;
nowheperceivedthatshehad。Notinface,exceptthatitwasmorebeautiful;notinform,exceptthatitwasalittlefuller——
no!Shehadchangedspiritually。Therewasmoreofher,asitwere,somethingofactivityanddaring,wheretherehadbeensheerpassiveresistance。’Ah!’hethought,’that’sherindependentincome!ConfoundUncleJolyon!’”Isupposeyou’recomfortablyoffnow?”hesaid。”Thankyou,yes。””Whydidn’tyouletmeprovideforyou?Iwouldhave,inspiteofeverything。”
Afaintsmilecameonherlips;butshedidnotanswer。