”Youarestillmywife，”saidSoames。Whyhesaidthat，whathemeantbyit，heknewneitherwhenhespokenorafter。Itwasatruismalmostpreposterous，butitseffectwasstartling。Sherosefromthewindow-seat，andstoodforamomentperfectlystill，lookingathim。Hecouldseeherbosomheaving。Thensheturnedtothewindowandthrewitopen。”Whydothat?”hesaidsharply。”You’llcatchcoldinthatdress。I’mnotdangerous。”Andheutteredalittlesadlaugh。
　　Sheechoedit——faintly，bitterly。”Itwas——habit。””Ratheroddhabit，”saidSoamesasbitterly。”Shutthewindow！”
　　Sheshutitandsatdownagain。Shehaddevelopedpower，thiswoman——this——wifeofhis！Hefeltitissuingfromherasshesatthere，inasortofarmour。Andalmostunconsciouslyheroseandmovednearer；hewantedtoseetheexpressiononherface。Hereyesmethisunflinching。Heavens！howcleartheywere，andwhatadarkbrownagainstthatwhiteskin，andthatburnt-amberhair！
　　Andhowwhitehershoulders。
　　Funnysensationthis！Heoughttohateher。”Youhadbettertellme，”hesaid；”it’stoyouradvantagetobefreeaswellastomine。Thatoldmatteristooold。””Ihavetoldyou。””Doyoumeantotellmetherehasbeennothing——nobody?””Nobody。Youmustgotoyourownlife。”
　　Stungbythatretort，Soamesmovedtowardsthepianoandbacktothehearth，toandfro，ashehadbeenwontintheolddaysintheirdrawing-roomwhenhisfeelingsweretoomuchforhim。”Thatwon’tdo，”hesaid。”Youdesertedme。Incommonjusticeit’sforyou……”
　　Hesawhershrugthosewhiteshoulders，heardhermurmur：”Yes。Whydidn’tyoudivorcemethen?ShouldIhavecared?”
　　Hestopped，andlookedatherintentlywithasortofcuriosity。
　　Whatonearthdidshedowithherself，ifshereallylivedquitealone?Andwhyhadhenotdivorcedher?Theoldfeelingthatshehadneverunderstoodhim，neverdonehimjustice，bithimwhilehestaredather。”Whycouldn’tyouhavemademeagoodwife?”hesaid。”Yes；itwasacrimetomarryyou。Ihavepaidforit。Youwillfindsomewayperhaps。Youneedn’tmindmyname，Ihavenonetolose。NowIthinkyouhadbettergo。”
　　Asenseofdefeat——ofbeingdefraudedofhisself-justification，andofsomethingelsebeyondpowerofexplanationtohimself，besetSoameslikethebreathofacoldfog。Mechanicallyhereachedup，tookfromthemantel-shelfalittlechinabowl，reversedit，andsaid：”Lowestoft。Wheredidyougetthis?IboughtitsfellowatJobson’s。”And，visitedbythesuddenmemoryofhow，thosemanyyearsago，heandshehadboughtchinatogether，heremainedstaringatthelittlebowl，asifitcontainedallthepast。Hervoicerousedhim。”Takeit。Idon’twantit。”
　　Soamesputitbackontheshelf。”Willyoushakehands?”hesaid。
　　Afaintsmilecurvedherlips。Sheheldoutherhand。Itwascoldtohisratherfeverishtouch。’She’smadeofice，’hethought——
　　’shewasalwaysmadeofice！’Butevenasthatthoughtdartedthroughhim，hissenseswereassailedbytheperfumeofherdressandbody，asthoughthewarmthwithinher，whichhadneverbeenforhim，werestrugglingtoshowitspresence。Andheturnedonhisheel。Hewalkedoutandaway，asifsomeonewithawhipwereafterhim，notevenlookingforacab，gladoftheemptyEmbankmentandthecoldriver，andthethick-strewnshadowsoftheplane-treeleaves-confused，flurried，soreatheart，andvaguelydisturbed，asthoughhehadmadesomedeepmistakewhoseconsequenceshecouldnotforesee。Andthefantasticthoughtsuddenlyassailedhimifinsteadof，’Ithinkyouhadbettergo，’shehadsaid，’Ithinkyouhadbetterstay！’Whatshouldhehavefelt，whatwouldhehavedone?Thatcursedattractionofherwasthereforhimevennow，afteralltheseyearsofestrangementandbitterthoughts。Itwasthere，readytomounttohisheadatasign，atouch。’Iwasafooltogo！’hemuttered。’I’veadvancednothing。Whocouldimagine?Ineverthought！’Memory，flownbacktothefirstyearsofhismarriage，playedhimtorturingtricks。Shehadnotdeservedtokeepherbeauty——thebeautyhehadownedandknownsowell。Andakindofbitternessatthetenacityofhisownadmirationwelledupinhim。Mostmenwouldhavehatedthesightofher，asshehaddeserved。Shehadspoiledhislife，woundedhispridetodeath，defraudedhimofason。Andyetthemeresightofher，coldandresistingasever，hadthispowertoupsethimutterly！Itwassomedamnedmagnetismshehad！Andnowonderif，assheasserted；
　　shehadliveduntouchedtheselasttwelveyears。SoBosinney——
　　cursedbehismemory！——hadlivedonallthistimewithher！Soamescouldnottellwhetherhewasgladofthatknowledgeorno。
　　NearinghisClubatlasthestoppedtobuyapaper。Aheadlineran：’Boersreportedtorepudiatesuzerainty！’Suzerainty！’Justlikeher！’hethought：’shealwaysdid。Suzerainty！Istillhaveitbyrights。Shemustbeawfullylonelyinthatwretchedlittleflat！’
　　CHAPTERXII
　　ONFORSYTE’CHANGE
　　Soamesbelongedtotwoclubs，’TheConnoisseurs，’whichheputonhiscardsandseldomvisited，and’TheRemove，’whichhedidnotputonhiscardsandfrequented。HehadjoinedthisLiberalinstitutionfiveyearsago，havingmadesurethatitsmemberswerenownearlyallsoundConservativesinheartandpocket，ifnotinprinciple。UncleNicholashadputhimup。Thefinereading-roomwasdecoratedintheAdamstyle。
　　OnenteringthateveningheglancedatthetapeforanynewsabouttheTransvaal，andnotedthatConsolsweredownseven-sixteenthssincethemorning。Hewasturningawaytoseekthereading-roomwhenavoicebehindhimsaid：”Well，Soames，thatwentoffallright。”
　　ItwasUncleNicholas，inafrock-coatandhisspecialcut-awaycollar，withablacktiepassedthrougharing。Heavens！Howyounganddapperhelookedateighty-two！”IthinkRoger’dhavebeenpleased，”hisunclewenton。”Thethingwasverywelldone。Blackley’s?I’llmakeanoteofthem。
　　Buxton’sdonemenogood。TheseBoersareupsettingme——thatfellowChamberlain’sdrivingthecountryintowar。Whatdoyouthink?””Boundtocome，”murmuredSoames。
　　Nicholaspassedhishandoverhisthin，cleanshavencheeks，veryrosyafterhissummercure；aslightpouthadgatheredonhislips。
　　ThisbusinesshadrevivedallhisLiberalprinciples。”Imistrustthatchap；he’sastormypetrel。House-propertywillgodownifthere’swar。You’llhavetroublewithRoger’sestate。
　　Ioftentoldhimheoughttogetoutofsomeofhishouses。Hewasanopinionatedbeggar。”
　　’Therewasapairofyou！’thoughtSoames。Butheneverarguedwithanuncle，inthatwaypreservingtheiropinionofhimas’along-headedchap，’andthelegalcareoftheirproperty。”TheytellmeatTimothy’s，”saidNicholas，loweringhisvoice，”thatDartiehasgoneoffatlast。That’llbearelieftoyourfather。Hewasarottenegg。”
　　AgainSoamesnodded。IftherewasasubjectonwhichtheForsytesreallyagreed，itwasthecharacterofMontagueDartie。”Youtakecare，”saidNicholas，”orhe’llturnupagain。Winifredhadbetterhavethetoothout，Ishouldsay。Nousepreservingwhat’sgonebad。”
　　Soameslookedathimsideways。Hisnerves，exacerbatedbytheinterviewhehadjustcomethrough，disposedhimtoseeapersonalallusioninthosewords。”I’madvisingher，”hesaidshortly。”Well，”saidNicholas，”thebrougham’swaiting；Imustgethome。
　　I’mverypoorly。Remembermetoyourfather。”
　　Andhavingthusreconsecratedthetiesofblood，hepasseddownthestepsathisyouthfulgaitandwaswrappedintohisfurcoatbythejuniorporter。
　　’I’veneverknownUncleNicholasotherthan”verypoorly，”’musedSoames，’orseenhimlookotherthaneverlasting。Whatafamily！
　　Judgingbyhim，I’vegotthirty-eightyearsofhealthbeforeme。
　　Well，I’mnotgoingtowastethem。’Andgoingovertoamirrorhestoodlookingathisface。Exceptforalineortwo，andthreeorfourgreyhairsinhislittledarkmoustache，hadheagedanymorethanIrene?Theprimeoflife——heandsheintheveryprimeoflife！Andafantasticthoughtshotintohismind。Absurd！
　　Idiotic！Butagainitcame。Andgenuinelyalarmedbytherecur-
　　rence，asoneisbythesecondfitofshiveringwhichpresagesafeverishcold，hesatdownontheweighingmachine。Elevenstone！
　　Hehadnotvariedtwopoundsintwentyyears。Whatagewasshe?
　　Nearlythirty-seven——nottoooldtohaveachild——notatall！
　　Thirty-sevenontheninthofnextmonth。Herememberedherbirthdaywell——hehadalwaysobserveditreligiously，eventhatlastbirthdaysosoonbeforeshelefthim，whenhewasalmostcertainshewasfaithless。Fourbirthdaysinhishouse。Hehadlookedforwardtothem，becausehisgiftshadmeantasemblanceofgratitude，acertainattemptatwarmth。Except，indeed，thatlastbirthday——whichhadtemptedhimtobetooreligious！Andheshiedawayinthought。Memoryheapsdeadleavesoncorpse-likedeeds，fromunderwhichtheydobutvaguelyoffendthesense。Andthenhethoughtsuddenly：’Icouldsendherapresentforherbirthday。
　　Afterall，we’reChristians！Couldn’t！——couldn’twejoinupagain！’Andheutteredadeepsighsittingthere。Annette！Ah！
　　butbetweenhimandAnnettewastheneedforthatwretcheddivorcesuit！Andhow?”Amancanalwaysworkthesethings，ifhe’lltakeitonhimself，”
　　Jolyonhadsaid。
　　Butwhyshouldhetakethescandalonhimselfwithhiswholecareerasapillarofthelawatstake?Itwasnotfair！Itwasquix-
　　otic！Twelveyears’separationinwhichhehadtakennostepstofreehimselfputoutofcourtthepossibilityofusingherconductwithBosinneyasagroundfordivorcingher。Bydoingnothingtosecurereliefhehadacquiesced，eveniftheevidencecouldnowbegathered，whichwasmorethandoubtful。Besides，hisownpridewouldneverlethimusethatoldincident，hehadsufferedfromittoomuch。No！Nothingbutfreshmisconductonherpart——butshehaddeniedit；and——almost——hehadbelievedher。Hungup！Utterlyhungup！