AndhelookedaroundatSoameswiththethought:’Ishereal,thisman?’ButSoameslookedveryreal,sittingsquareyetalmostelegantwiththeclippedmoustacheonhispaleface,andatoothshowingwherealipwasliftedinafriedsmile。Therewasalongsilence,whileJolyonthought:’Insteadofhelpingher,I’vemadethingsworse。’SuddenlySoamessaid:”Itwouldbethebestthingthatcouldhappentoherinmanyways。”
AtthosewordssuchaturmoilbegantakingplaceinJolyonthathecouldbarelysitstillinthecab。Itwasasifhewereboxedupwithhundredsofthousandsofhiscountrymen,boxedupwiththatsomethinginthenationalcharacterwhichhadalwaysbeentohimrevolting,somethingwhichheknewtobeextremelynaturalandyetwhichseemedtohiminexplicable——theirintensebeliefincontractsandvestedrights,theircomplacentsenseofvirtueintheexactionofthoserights。Herebesidehiminthecabwastheveryembodiment,thecorporealsumasitwere,ofthepossessiveinstinct——hisownkinsman,too!Itwasuncannyandintolerable!
’Butthere’ssomethingmoreinitthanthat!’hethoughtwithasickfeeling。’Thedog,theysay,returnstohisvomit!Thesightofherhasreawakenedsomething。Beauty!Thedevil’sinit!’”AsIsay,”saidSoames,”Ihavenotmadeupmymind。Ishallbeobligedifyouwillkindlyleaveherquitealone。”
Jolyonbithislips;hewhohadalwayshatedrowsalmostwelcomedthethought,ofonenow。”Icangiveyounosuchpromise,”hesaidshortly。”Verywell,”saidSoames,”thenweknowwhereweare。I’llgetdownhere。”Andstoppingthecabhegotoutwithoutwordorsignoffarewell。JolyontravelledontohisClub。
Thefirstnewsofthewarwasbeingcalledinthestreets,buthepaidnoattention。Whatcouldhedotohelpher?Ifonlyhisfatherwerealive!Hecouldhavedonesomuch!Butwhycouldhenotdoallthathisfathercouldhavedone?Washenotoldenough?——turnedfiftyandtwicemarried,withgrown-updaughtersandason。’Queer,’hethought。’IfshewereplainIshouldn’tbethinkingtwiceaboutit。Beautyisthedevil,whenyou’resen-
sitivetoit!’AndintotheClubreading-roomhewentwithadisturbedheart。InthatveryroomheandBosinneyhadtalkedonesummerafternoon;hewellrememberedevennowthedisguisedandsecretlecturehehadgiventhatyoungmanintheinterestsofJune,thediagnosisoftheForsyteshehadhazarded;andhowhehadwonderedwhatsortofwomanitwashewaswarninghimagainst。Andnow!Hewasalmostinwantofawarninghimself。’It’sdeucedfunny!’hethought,’reallydeucedfunny!’
CHAPTERXIV
SOAMESDISCOVERSWHATHEWANTS
Itissomucheasiertosay,”Thenweknowwhereweare,”thantomeananythingparticularbythewords。AndinsayingthemSoamesdidbutventthejealousranklingofhisinstincts。Hegotoutofthecabinastateofwaryanger——withhimselffornothavingseenIrene,withJolyonforhavingseenher;andnowwithhisinabilitytotellexactlywhathewanted。
Hehadabandonedthecabbecausehecouldnotbeartoremainseatedbesidehiscousin,andwalkingbrisklyeastwardshethought:’I
wouldn’ttrustthatfellowJolyonayard。Onceoutcast,alwaysoutcast!’Thechaphadanaturalsympathywith——with——laxityhehadshiedatthewordsin,becauseitwastoomelodramaticforusebyaForsyte。
Indecisionindesirewastohimanewfeeling。Hewaslikeachildbetweenapromisedtoyandanoldonewhichhadbeentakenawayfromhim;andhewasastonishedathimself。OnlylastSundaydesirehadseemedsimple——justhisfreedomandAnnette。’I’llgoanddinethere,’hethought。Toseehermightbringbackhissinglenessofintention,calmhisexasperation,clearhismind。
Therestaurantwasfairlyfull——agoodmanyforeignersandfolkwhom,fromtheirappearance,hetooktobeliteraryorartistic。
Scrapsofconversationcamehiswaythroughtheclatterofplatesandglasses。HedistinctlyheardtheBoerssympathisedwith,theBritishGovernmentblamed。’Don’tthinkmuchoftheirclientele,’
hethought。Hewentstolidlythroughhisdinnerandspecialcoffeewithoutmakinghispresenceknown,andwhenatlasthehadfinished,wascarefulnottobeseengoingtowardsthesanctumofMadameLamotte。Theywere,asheentered,havingsupper——suchamuchnicer-lookingsupperthanthedinnerhehadeatenthathefeltakindofgrief——andtheygreetedhimwithasurprisesoseeminglygenuinethathethoughtwithsuddensuspicion:’IbelievetheyknewIwashereallthetime。’HegaveAnnettealookfurtiveandsearching。Sopretty,seeminglysocandid;couldshebeanglingforhim?HeturnedtoMadameLamotteandsaid:”I’vebeendininghere。”
Really!Ifshehadonlyknown!Thereweredishesshecouldhaverecommended;whatapity!Soameswasconfirmedinhissuspicion。
’ImustlookoutwhatI’mdoing!’hethoughtsharply。”Anotherlittlecupofveryspecialcoffee,monsieur;aliqueur,GrandMarnier?”andMadameLamotterosetoorderthesedelicacies。
AlonewithAnnetteSoamessaid,”Well,Annette?”withadefensivelittlesmileabouthislips。
Thegirlblushed。This,whichlastSundaywouldhavesethisnervestingling,nowgavehimmuchthesamefeelingamanhaswhenadogthatheownswrigglesandlooksathim。Hehadacurioussenseofpower,asifhecouldhavesaidtoher,’Comeandkissme,’andshewouldhavecome。Andyet——itwasstrange——butthereseemedanotherfaceandformintheroomtoo;andtheitchinhisnerves,wasitforthat——orforthis?Hejerkedhisheadtowardstherestaurantandsaid:”Youhavesomequeercustomers。Doyoulikethislife?”
Annettelookedupathimforamoment,lookeddown,andplayedwithherfork。”No,”shesaid,”Idonotlikeit。”
’I’vegother,’thoughtSoames,’ifIwanther。ButdoIwanther?’Shewasgraceful,shewaspretty——verypretty;shewasfresh,shehadtasteofakind。Hiseyestravelledroundthelittleroom;
buttheeyesofhismindwentanotherjourney——ahalf-light,andsilverywalls,asatinwoodpiano,awomanstandingagainstit,reinedbackasitwerefromhim——awomanwithwhiteshouldersthatheknew,anddarkeyesthathehadsoughttoknow,andhairlikedulldarkamber。Andasinanartistwhostrivesfortheunrealisableandiseverthirsty,sothereroseinhimatthatmomentthethirstoftheoldpassionhehadneversatisfied。”Well,”hesaidcalmly,”you’reyoung。There’severythingbeforeyou。”
Annetteshookherhead。”Ithinksometimesthereisnothingbeforemebuthardwork。Iamnotsoinlovewithworkasmother。””Yourmotherisawonder,”saidSoames,faintlymocking;”shewillneverletfailurelodgeinherhouse。”
Annettesighed。”Itmustbewonderfultoberich。””Oh!You’llberichsomeday,”answeredSoames,stillwiththatfaintmockery;”don’tbeafraid。”
Annetteshruggedhershoulders。”Monsieurisverykind。”Andbetweenherpoutinglipssheputachocolate。
’Yes,mydear,’thoughtSoames,’they’reverypretty。’
MadameLamotte,withcoffeeandliqueur,putanendtothatcolloquy。Soamesdidnotstaylong。
OutsideinthestreetsofSoho,whichalwaysgavehimsuchafeelingofpropertyimproperlyowned,hemused。IfonlyIrenehadgivenhimason,hewouldn’tnowbesquirmingafterwomen!Thethoughthadjumpedoutofitslittledarksentry-boxinhisinnerconsciousness。Ason——somethingtolookforwardto,somethingtomaketherestoflifeworthwhile,somethingtoleavehimselfto,someperpetuityofself。’IfIhadason,’hethoughtbitterly,’aproperlegalson,IcouldmakeshifttogoonasIused。Onewoman’smuchthesameasanother,afterall。’Butashewalkedheshookhishead。No!Onewomanwasnotthesameasanother。Manyatimehadhetriedtothinkthatintheolddaysofhisthwartedmarriedlife;andhehadalwaysfailed。Hewasfailingnow。HewastryingtothinkAnnettethesameasthatother。Butshewasnot,shehadnotthelureofthatoldpassion。’AndIrene’smywife,’hethought,’mylegalwife。Ihavedonenothingtoputherawayfromme。Whyshouldn’tshecomebacktome?It’stherightthing,thelawfulthing。Itmakesnoscandal,nodisturbance。Ifit’sdisagreeabletoher——butwhyshoulditbe?I’mnotaleper,andshe——she’snolongerinlove!’WhyshouldhebeputtotheshiftsandthesordiddisgracesandthelurkingdefeatsoftheDivorceCourt,whenthereshewaslikeanemptyhouseonlywaitingtoberetakenintouseandpossessionbyhimwholegallyownedher?
ToonesosecretiveasSoamesthethoughtofreentryintoquietpossessionofhisownpropertywithnothinggivenawaytotheworldwasintenselyalluring。’No,’hemused,’I’mgladIwenttoseethatgirl。IknownowwhatIwantmost。IfonlyIrenewillcomebackI’llbeasconsiderateasshewishes;shecouldliveherownlife;butperhaps——perhapsshewouldcomeroundtome。’Therewasalumpinhisthroat。AnddoggedlyalongbytherailingsoftheGreenPark,towardshisfather’shouse,hewent,tryingtotreadonhisshadowwalkingbeforehiminthebrilliantmoonlight。
PARTII
CHAPTERI
THETHIRDGENERATION
JollyForsytewasstrollingdownHighStreet,Oxford,onaNovemberafternoon;ValDartiewasstrollingup。Jollyhadjustchangedoutofboatingflannelsandwasonhiswaytothe’Frying-pan,’towhichhehadrecentlybeenelected。Valhadjustchangedoutofridingclothesandwasonhiswaytothefire——abookmaker’sinCornmarket。”Hallo!”saidJolly。”Hallo!”repliedVal。