THEPERSONSOFTHEPLAY
　　LordIllingworthSirJohnPontefractLordAlfredRuffordMr。Kelvil，M。P。
　　TheVen。ArchdeaconDaubeny，D。D。
　　GeraldArbuthnotFarquhar，ButlerFrancis，FootmanLadyHunstantonLadyCarolinePontefractLadyStutfieldMrs。AllonbyMissHesterWorsleyAlice，MaidMrs。ArbuthnotTHESCENESOFTHEPLAY
　　ACTI。TheTerraceatHunstantonChase。
　　ACTII。TheDrawing—roomatHunstantonChase。
　　ACTIII。TheHallatHunstantonChase。
　　ACTIV。Sitting—roominMrs。Arbuthnot’sHouseatWrockley。
　　TIME：ThePresent。
　　PLACE：TheShires。
　　Theactionoftheplaytakesplacewithintwenty—fourhours。
　　LONDON：HAYMARKETTHEATRE
　　LesseeandManager：Mr。HBeerbohmTreeApril19th，1893
　　LordIllingworth，Mr。TreeSirJohnPontefract，Mr。E。HolmanClarkLordAlfredRufford，Mr。ErnestLawfordMr。Kelvil，M。P。，Mr。CharlesAllan。
　　TheVen。ArchdeaconDaubeny，D。D。，Mr。KembleGeraldArbuthnot，Mr。TerryFarquhar，Butler，Mr。HayFrancis，Footman，Mr。MontagueLadyHunstanton，MissRoseLeclercqLadyCarolinePontefract，MissLeThiereLadyStutfield，MissBlancheHorlockMrs。Allonby，Mrs。TreeMissHesterWorsley，MissJuliaNeilsonAlice，Maid，MissKellyMrs。Arbuthnot，Mrs。Bernard—BeereFIRSTACT
　　SCENE
　　LawninfrontoftheterraceatHunstanton。
　　[SIRJOHNandLADYCAROLINEPONTEFRACT，MISSWORSLEY，onchairsunderlargeyewtree。]
　　LADYCAROLINE。IbelievethisisthefirstEnglishcountryhouseyouhavestayedat，MissWorsley？
　　HESTER。Yes，LadyCaroline。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Youhavenocountryhouses，Iamtold，inAmerica？
　　HESTER。Wehavenotmany。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Haveyouanycountry？Whatweshouldcallcountry？
　　HESTER。[Smiling。]Wehavethelargestcountryintheworld，LadyCaroline。TheyusedtotellusatschoolthatsomeofourstatesareasbigasFranceandEnglandputtogether。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Ah!youmustfinditverydraughty，Ishouldfancy。
　　[ToSIRJOHN。]John，youshouldhaveyourmuffler。Whatistheuseofmyalwaysknittingmufflersforyouifyouwon’twearthem？
　　SIRJOHN。Iamquitewarm，Caroline，Iassureyou。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Ithinknot，John。Well，youcouldn’tcometoamorecharmingplacethanthis，MissWorsley，thoughthehouseisexcessivelydamp，quiteunpardonablydamp，anddearLadyHunstantonissometimesalittlelaxaboutthepeoplesheasksdownhere。[ToSIRJOHN。]Janemixestoomuch。LordIllingworth，ofcourse，isamanofhighdistinction。Itisaprivilegetomeethim。AndthatmemberofParliament，Mr。Kettle—
　　SIRJOHN。Kelvil，mylove，Kelvil。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Hemustbequiterespectable。Onehasneverheardhisnamebeforeinthewholecourseofone’slife，whichspeaksvolumesforaman，nowadays。ButMrs。Allonbyishardlyaverysuitableperson。
　　HESTER。IdislikeMrs。Allonby。IdislikehermorethanIcansay。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Iamnotsure，MissWorsley，thatforeignerslikeyourselfshouldcultivatelikesordislikesaboutthepeopletheyareinvitedtomeet。Mrs。Allonbyisverywellborn。SheisanieceofLordBrancaster’s。Itissaid，ofcourse，thatsheranawaytwicebeforeshewasmarried。Butyouknowhowunfairpeopleoftenare。Imyselfdon’tbelievesheranawaymorethanonce。
　　HESTER。Mr。Arbuthnotisverycharming。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Ah，yes!theyoungmanwhohasapostinabank。
　　LadyHunstantonismostkindinaskinghimhere，andLordIllingworthseemstohavetakenquiteafancytohim。Iamnotsure，however，thatJaneisrightintakinghimoutofhisposition。Inmyyoungdays，MissWorsley，onenevermetanyoneinsocietywhoworkedfortheirliving。Itwasnotconsideredthething。
　　HESTER。InAmericathosearethepeoplewerespectmost。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Ihavenodoubtofit。
　　HESTER。Mr。Arbuthnothasabeautifulnature!Heissosimple，sosincere。HehasoneofthemostbeautifulnaturesIhaveevercomeacross。ItisaprivilegetomeetHIM。
　　LADYCAROLINE。ItisnotcustomaryinEngland，MissWorsley，forayoungladytospeakwithsuchenthusiasmofanypersonoftheoppositesex。Englishwomenconcealtheirfeelingstillaftertheyaremarried。Theyshowthemthen。
　　HESTER。Doyou，inEngland，allownofriendshiptoexistbetweenayoungmanandayounggirl？
　　[EnterLADYHUNSTANTON，followedbyFootmanwithshawlsandacushion。]
　　LADYCAROLINE。Wethinkitveryinadvisable。Jane，Iwasjustsayingwhatapleasantpartyyouhaveaskedustomeet。Youhaveawonderfulpowerofselection。Itisquiteagift。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。DearCaroline，howkindofyou!Ithinkwealldofitinverynicelytogether。AndIhopeourcharmingAmericanvisitorwillcarrybackpleasantrecollectionsofourEnglishcountrylife。[ToFootman。]Thecushion，there，Francis。Andmyshawl。TheShetland。GettheShetland。[ExitFootmanforshawl。]
　　[EnterGERALDARBUTHNOT。]
　　GERALD。LadyHunstanton，Ihavesuchgoodnewstotellyou。LordIllingworthhasjustofferedtomakemehissecretary。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Hissecretary？Thatisgoodnewsindeed，Gerald。
　　Itmeansaverybrilliantfutureinstoreforyou。Yourdearmotherwillbedelighted。Ireallymusttryandinducehertocomeuphereto—night。Doyouthinkshewould，Gerald？Iknowhowdifficultitistogethertogoanywhere。
　　GERALD。Oh!Iamsureshewould，LadyHunstanton，ifsheknewLordIllingworthhadmademesuchanoffer。
　　[EnterFootmanwithshawl。]
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Iwillwriteandtellheraboutit，andaskhertocomeupandmeethim。[ToFootman。]Justwait，Francis。
　　[Writesletter。]
　　LADYCAROLINE。Thatisaverywonderfulopeningforsoyoungamanasyouare，Mr。Arbuthnot。
　　GERALD。Itisindeed，LadyCaroline。ItrustIshallbeabletoshowmyselfworthyofit。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Itrustso。
　　GERALD。[ToHESTER。]YOUhavenotcongratulatedmeyet，MissWorsley。
　　HESTER。Areyouverypleasedaboutit？
　　GERALD。OfcourseIam。Itmeanseverythingtome—thingsthatwereoutofthereachofhopebeforemaybewithinhope’sreachnow。
　　HESTER。Nothingshouldbeoutofthereachofhope。Lifeisahope。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Ifancy，Caroline，thatDiplomacyiswhatLordIllingworthisaimingat。IheardthathewasofferedVienna。Butthatmaynotbetrue。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Idon’tthinkthatEnglandshouldberepresentedabroadbyanunmarriedman，Jane。Itmightleadtocomplications。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Youaretoonervous，Caroline。Believeme，youaretoonervous。Besides，LordIllingworthmaymarryanyday。I
　　wasinhopeshewouldhavemarriedladyKelso。ButIbelievehesaidherfamilywastoolarge。Orwasitherfeet？Iforgetwhich。Iregretitverymuch。Shewasmadetobeanambassador’swife。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Shecertainlyhasawonderfulfacultyofrememberingpeople’snames，andforgettingtheirfaces。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Well，thatisverynatural，Caroline，isitnot？
　　[ToFootman。]TellHenrytowaitforananswer。Ihavewrittenalinetoyourdearmother，Gerald，totellheryourgoodnews，andtosayshereallymustcometodinner。
　　[ExitFootman。]
　　GERALD。Thatisawfullykindofyou，LadyHunstanton。[ToHESTER。]Willyoucomeforastroll，MissWorsley？
　　HESTER。Withpleasure[ExitwithGERALD。]
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。IamverymuchgratifiedatGeraldArbuthnot’sgoodfortune。HeisquiteaPROTEGEofmine。AndIamparticularlypleasedthatLordIllingworthshouldhavemadetheofferofhisownaccordwithoutmysuggestinganything。Nobodylikestobeaskedfavours。IrememberpoorCharlottePagdenmakingherselfquiteunpopularoneseason，becauseshehadaFrenchgovernessshewantedtorecommendtoeveryone。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Isawthegoverness，Jane。LadyPagdensenthertome。ItwasbeforeEleanorcameout。Shewasfartoogood—lookingtobeinanyrespectablehousehold。Idon’twonderLadyPagdenwassoanxioustogetridofher。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Ah，thatexplainsit。
　　LADYCAROLINE。John，thegrassistoodampforyou。Youhadbettergoandputonyourovershoesatonce。
　　SIRJOHN。Iamquitecomfortable，Caroline，Iassureyou。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Youmustallowmetobethebestjudgeofthat，John。PraydoasItellyou。
　　[SIRJOHNgetsupandgoesoff。]
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Youspoilhim，Caroline，youdoindeed!
　　[EnterMRS。ALLONBYandLADYSTUTFIELD。]
　　[ToMRS。ALLONBY。]Well，dear，Ihopeyoulikethepark。Itissaidtobewelltimbered。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Thetreesarewonderful，LadyHunstanton。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Quite，quitewonderful。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Butsomehow，IfeelsurethatifIlivedinthecountryforsixmonths，Ishouldbecomesounsophisticatedthatnoonewouldtaketheslightestnoticeofme。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Iassureyou，dear，thatthecountryhasnotthateffectatall。Why，itwasfromMelthorpe，whichisonlytwomilesfromhere，thatLadyBeltonelopedwithLordFethersdale。I
　　remembertheoccurrenceperfectly。PoorLordBeltondiedthreedaysafterwardsofjoy，orgout。Iforgetwhich。Wehadalargepartystayinghereatthetime，sowewereallverymuchinterestedinthewholeaffair。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Ithinktoelopeiscowardly。It’srunningawayfromdanger。Anddangerhasbecomesorareinmodernlife。
　　LADYCAROLINE。AsfarasIcanmakeout，theyoungwomenofthepresentdayseemtomakeitthesoleobjectoftheirlivestobealwaysplayingwithfire。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Theoneadvantageofplayingwithfire，LadyCaroline，isthatonenevergetsevensinged。Itisthepeoplewhodon’tknowhowtoplaywithitwhogetburnedup。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Yes；Iseethat。Itisvery，veryhelpful。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Idon’tknowhowtheworldwouldgetonwithsuchatheoryasthat，dearMrs。Allonby。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Ah!Theworldwasmadeformenandnotforwomen。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Oh，don’tsaythat，LadyStutfield。Wehaveamuchbettertimethantheyhave。Therearefarmorethingsforbiddentousthanareforbiddentothem。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Yes；thatisquite，quitetrue。Ihadnotthoughtofthat。
　　[EnterSIRJOHNandMR。KELVIL。]
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Well，Mr。Kelvil，haveyougotthroughyourwork？
　　KELVIL。Ihavefinishedmywritingfortheday，LadyHunstanton。
　　Ithasbeenanarduoustask。Thedemandsonthetimeofapublicmanareveryheavynowadays，veryheavyindeed。AndIdon’tthinktheymeetwithadequaterecognition。
　　LADYCAROLINE。John，haveyougotyourovershoeson？
　　SIRJOHN。Yes，mylove。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Ithinkyouhadbettercomeoverhere，John。Itismoresheltered。
　　SIRJOHN。Iamquitecomfortable，Caroline。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Ithinknot，John。Youhadbettersitbesideme。
　　[SIRJOHNrisesandgoesacross。]
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Andwhathaveyoubeenwritingaboutthismorning，Mr。Kelvil？
　　KELVIL。Ontheusualsubject，LadyStutfield。OnPurity。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Thatmustbesuchavery，veryinterestingthingtowriteabout。
　　KELVIL。Itistheonesubjectofreallynationalimportance，nowadays，LadyStutfield。IpurposeaddressingmyconstituentsonthequestionbeforeParliamentmeets。Ifindthatthepoorerclassesofthiscountrydisplayamarkeddesireforahigherethicalstandard。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Howquite，quiteniceofthem。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Areyouinfavourofwomentakingpartinpolitics，Mr。Kettle？
　　SIRJOHN。Kelvil，mylove，Kelvil。
　　KELVIL。Thegrowinginfluenceofwomenistheonereassuringthinginourpoliticallife，LadyCaroline。Womenarealwaysonthesideofmorality，publicandprivate。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Itissovery，verygratifyingtohearyousaythat。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Ah，yes!—themoralqualitiesinwomen—thatistheimportantthing。Iamafraid，Caroline，thatdearLordIllingworthdoesn’tvaluethemoralqualitiesinwomenasmuchasheshould。
　　[EnterLORDILLINGWORTH。]
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。TheworldsaysthatLordIllingworthisvery，verywicked。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Butwhatworldsaysthat，LadyStutfield？Itmustbethenextworld。ThisworldandIareonexcellentterms。
　　[SitsdownbesideMRS。ALLONBY。]
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。EveryoneIknowsaysyouarevery，verywicked。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Itisperfectlymonstrousthewaypeoplegoabout，nowadays，sayingthingsagainstonebehindone’sbackthatareabsolutelyandentirelytrue。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。DearLordIllingworthisquitehopeless，LadyStutfield。Ihavegivenuptryingtoreformhim。ItwouldtakeaPublicCompanywithaBoardofDirectorsandapaidSecretarytodothat。Butyouhavethesecretaryalready，LordIllingworth，haven’tyou？GeraldArbuthnothastoldusofhisgoodfortune；itisreallymostkindofyou。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Oh，don’tsaythat，LadyHunstanton。Kindisadreadfulword。ItookagreatfancytoyoungArbuthnotthemomentImethim，andhe’llbeofconsiderableusetomeinsomethingIamfoolishenoughtothinkofdoing。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Heisanadmirableyoungman。Andhismotherisoneofmydearestfriends。HehasjustgoneforawalkwithourprettyAmerican。Sheisverypretty，isshenot？
　　LADYCAROLINE。Fartoopretty。TheseAmericangirlscarryoffallthegoodmatches。Whycan’ttheystayintheirowncountry？TheyarealwaystellingusitistheParadiseofwomen。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Itis，LadyCaroline。Thatiswhy，likeEve，theyaresoextremelyanxioustogetoutofit。
　　LADYCAROLINE。WhoareMissWorsley’sparents？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Americanwomenarewonderfullycleverinconcealingtheirparents。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。MydearLordIllingworth，whatdoyoumean？MissWorsley，Caroline，isanorphan。Herfatherwasaverywealthymillionaireorphilanthropist，orboth，Ibelieve，whoentertainedmysonquitehospitably，whenhevisitedBoston。Idon’tknowhowhemadehismoney，originally。
　　KELVIL。IfancyinAmericandrygoods。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。WhatareAmericandrygoods？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Americannovels。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Howverysingular!……Well，fromwhateversourceherlargefortunecame，IhaveagreatesteemforMissWorsley。Shedressesexceedinglywell。AllAmericansdodresswell。TheygettheirclothesinParis。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Theysay，LadyHunstanton，thatwhengoodAmericansdietheygotoParis。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Indeed？AndwhenbadAmericansdie，wheredotheygoto？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Oh，theygotoAmerica。
　　KELVIL。Iamafraidyoudon’tappreciateAmerica，LordIllingworth。Itisaveryremarkablecountry，especiallyconsideringitsyouth。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。TheyouthofAmericaistheiroldesttradition。
　　Ithasbeengoingonnowforthreehundredyears。Tohearthemtalkonewouldimaginetheywereintheirfirstchildhood。Asfarascivilisationgoestheyareintheirsecond。
　　KELVIL。ThereisundoubtedlyagreatdealofcorruptioninAmericanpolitics。Isupposeyoualludetothat？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Iwonder。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Politicsareinasadwayeverywhere，Iamtold。
　　TheycertainlyareinEngland。DearMr。Cardewisruiningthecountry。IwonderMrs。Cardewallowshim。Iamsure，LordIllingworth，youdon’tthinkthatuneducatedpeopleshouldbeallowedtohavevotes？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Ithinktheyaretheonlypeoplewhoshould。
　　KELVIL。Doyoutakenosidetheninmodernpolitics，LordIllingworth？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Oneshouldnevertakesidesinanything，Mr。
　　Kelvil。Takingsidesisthebeginningofsincerity，andearnestnessfollowsshortlyafterwards，andthehumanbeingbecomesabore。However，theHouseofCommonsreallydoesverylittleharm。Youcan’tmakepeoplegoodbyActofParliament，—thatissomething。
　　KELVIL。YoucannotdenythattheHouseofCommonshasalwaysshowngreatsympathywiththesufferingsofthepoor。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Thatisitsspecialvice。Thatisthespecialviceoftheage。Oneshouldsympathisewiththejoy，thebeauty，thecolouroflife。Thelesssaidaboutlife’ssoresthebetter，Mr。Kelvil。
　　KELVIL。StillourEastEndisaveryimportantproblem。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Quiteso。Itistheproblemofslavery。Andwearetryingtosolveitbyamusingtheslaves。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Certainly，agreatdealmaybedonebymeansofcheapentertainments，asyousay，LordIllingworth。DearDr。
　　Daubeny，ourrectorhere，provides，withtheassistanceofhiscurates，reallyadmirablerecreationsforthepoorduringthewinter。Andmuchgoodmaybedonebymeansofamagiclantern，oramissionary，orsomepopularamusementofthatkind。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Iamnotatallinfavourofamusementsforthepoor，Jane。Blanketsandcoalsaresufficient。Thereistoomuchloveofpleasureamongsttheupperclassesasitis。Healthiswhatwewantinmodernlife。Thetoneisnothealthy，nothealthyatall。
　　KELVIL。Youarequiteright，LadyCaroline。
　　LADYCAROLINE。IbelieveIamusuallyright。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Horridword’health。’
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Silliestwordinourlanguage，andoneknowssowellthepopularideaofhealth。TheEnglishcountrygentlemangallopingafterafox—theunspeakableinfullpursuitoftheuneatable。
　　KELVIL。MayIask，LordIllingworth，ifyouregardtheHouseofLordsasabetterinstitutionthantheHouseofCommons？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Amuchbetterinstitution，ofcourse。WeintheHouseofLordsareneverintouchwithpublicopinion。Thatmakesusacivilisedbody。
　　KELVIL。Areyouseriousinputtingforwardsuchaview？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Quiteserious，Mr。Kelvil。[ToMRS。ALLONBY。]
　　Vulgarhabitthatispeoplehavenowadaysofaskingone，afteronehasgiventhemanidea，whetheroneisseriousornot。Nothingisseriousexceptpassion。Theintellectisnotaseriousthing，andneverhasbeen。Itisaninstrumentonwhichoneplays，thatisall。TheonlyseriousformofintellectIknowistheBritishintellect。AndontheBritishintellecttheilliteratesplaythedrum。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Whatareyousaying，LordIllingworth，aboutthedrum？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。IwasmerelytalkingtoMrs。AllonbyabouttheleadingarticlesintheLondonnewspapers。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Butdoyoubelieveallthatiswritteninthenewspapers？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Ido。Nowadaysitisonlytheunreadablethatoccurs。[RiseswithMRS。ALLONBY。]
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Areyougoing，Mrs。Allonby？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Justasfarastheconservatory。LordIllingworthtoldmethismorningthattherewasanorchidtherembeautifulasthesevendeadlysins。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Mydear，Ihopethereisnothingofthekind。I
　　willcertainlyspeaktothegardener。
　　[ExitMRS。ALLONBYandLORDILLINGWORTH。]
　　LADYCAROLINE。Remarkabletype，Mrs。Allonby。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Sheletsherclevertonguerunawaywithhersometimes。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Isthattheonlything，Jane，Mrs。Allonbyallowstorunawaywithher？
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Ihopeso，Caroline，Iamsure。
　　[EnterLORDALFRED。]
　　DearLordAlfred，dojoinus。[LORDALFREDsitsdownbesideLADY
　　STUTFIELD。]
　　LADYCAROLINE。Youbelievegoodofeveryone，Jane。Itisagreatfault。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Doyoureally，reallythink，LadyCaroline，thatoneshouldbelieveevilofeveryone？
　　LADYCAROLINE。Ithinkitismuchsafertodoso，LadyStutfield。
　　Until，ofcourse，peoplearefoundouttobegood。Butthatrequiresagreatdealofinvestigationnowadays。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Butthereissomuchunkindscandalinmodernlife。
　　LADYCAROLINE。LordIllingworthremarkedtomelastnightatdinnerthatthebasisofeveryscandalisanabsolutelyimmoralcertainty。
　　KELVIL。LordIllingworthis，ofcourse，averybrilliantman，butheseemstometobelackinginthatfinefaithinthenobilityandpurityoflifewhichissoimportantinthiscentury。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Yes，quite，quiteimportant，isitnot？
　　KELVIL。HegivesmetheimpressionofamanwhodoesnotappreciatethebeautyofourEnglishhome—life。Iwouldsaythathewastaintedwithforeignideasonthesubject。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Thereisnothing，nothinglikethebeautyofhome—
　　life，isthere？
　　KELVIL。ItisthemainstayofourmoralsysteminEngland，LadyStutfield。Withoutitwewouldbecomelikeourneighbours。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Thatwouldbeso，sosad，woulditnot？
　　KELVIL。Iamafraid，too，thatLordIllingworthregardswomansimplyasatoy。Now，Ihaveneverregardedwomanasatoy。Womanistheintellectualhelpmeetofmaninpublicasinprivatelife。
　　Withoutherweshouldforgetthetrueideals。[SitsdownbesideLADYSTUTFIELD。]
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Iamsovery，verygladtohearyousaythat。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Youamarriedman，Mr。Kettle？
　　SIRJOHN。Kelvil，dear，Kelvil。
　　KELVIL。Iammarried，LadyCaroline。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Family？
　　KELVIL。Yes。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Howmany？
　　KELVIL。Eight。
　　[LADYSTUTFIELDturnsherattentiontoLORDALFRED。]
　　LADYCAROLINE。Mrs。Kettleandthechildrenare，Isuppose，attheseaside？[SIRJOHNshrugshisshoulders。]
　　KELVIL。Mywifeisattheseasidewiththechildren，LadyCaroline。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Youwilljointhemlateron，nodoubt？
　　KELVIL。Ifmypublicengagementspermitme。
　　LADYCAROLINE。YourpubliclifemustbeagreatsourceofgratificationtoMrs。Kettle。
　　SIRJOHN。Kelvil，mylove，Kelvil。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。[ToLORDALFRED。]Howvery，verycharmingthosegold—tippedcigarettesofyoursare，LordAlfred。
　　LORDALFRED。Theyareawfullyexpensive。IcanonlyaffordthemwhenI’mindebt。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Itmustbeterribly，terriblydistressingtobeindebt。
　　LORDALFRED。Onemusthavesomeoccupationnowadays。IfIhadn’tmydebtsIshouldn’thaveanythingtothinkabout。AllthechapsI
　　knowareindebt。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Butdon’tthepeopletowhomyouowethemoneygiveyouagreat，greatdealofannoyance？
　　[EnterFootman。]
　　LORDALFRED。Oh，no，theywrite；Idon’t。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Howvery，verystrange。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Ah，hereisaletter，Caroline，fromdearMrs。
　　Arbuthnot。Shewon’tdine。Iamsosorry。Butshewillcomeintheevening。Iamverypleasedindeed。Sheisoneofthesweetestofwomen。Writesabeautifulhand，too，solarge，sofirm。[HandslettertoLADYCAROLINE。]
　　LADYCAROLINE。[Lookingatit。]Alittlelackinginfemininity，Jane。FemininityisthequalityIadmiremostinwomen。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。[Takingbackletterandleavingitontable。]
　　Oh!sheisveryfeminine，Caroline，andsogoodtoo。YoushouldhearwhattheArchdeaconsaysofher。Heregardsherashisrighthandintheparish。[Footmanspeakstoher。]IntheYellowDrawing—room。Shallweallgoin？LadyStutfield，shallwegointotea？
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Withpleasure，LadyHunstanton。[Theyriseandproceedtogooff。SIRJOHNofferstocarryLADYSTUTFIELD’S
　　cloak。]
　　LADYCAROLINE。John!IfyouwouldallowyournephewtolookafterLadyStutfield’scloak，youmighthelpmewithmyworkbasket。
　　[EnterLORDILLINGWORTHandMRS。ALLONBY。]
　　SIRJOHN。Certainly，mylove。[Exeunt。]
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Curiousthing，plainwomenarealwaysjealousoftheirhusbands，beautifulwomenneverare!
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Beautifulwomenneverhavetime。Theyarealwayssooccupiedinbeingjealousofotherpeople’shusbands。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。IshouldhavethoughtLadyCarolinewouldhavegrowntiredofconjugalanxietybythistime!SirJohnisherfourth!
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Somuchmarriageiscertainlynotbecoming。
　　Twentyyearsofromancemakeawomanlooklikearuin；buttwentyyearsofmarriagemakehersomethinglikeapublicbuilding。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Twentyyearsofromance!Istheresuchathing？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Notinourday。Womenhavebecometoobrilliant。Nothingspoilsaromancesomuchasasenseofhumourinthewoman。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Orthewantofitintheman。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Youarequiteright。InaTempleeveryoneshouldbeserious，exceptthethingthatisworshipped。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Andthatshouldbeman？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Womenkneelsogracefully；mendon’t。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。YouarethinkingofLadyStutfield!
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。IassureyouIhavenotthoughtofLadyStutfieldforthelastquarterofanhour。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Isshesuchamystery？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Sheismorethanamystery—sheisamood。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Moodsdon’tlast。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Itistheirchiefcharm。
　　[EnterHESTERandGERALD。]
　　GERALD。LordIllingworth，everyonehasbeencongratulatingme，LadyHunstantonandLadyCaroline，and……everyone。IhopeI
　　shallmakeagoodsecretary。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Youwillbethepatternsecretary，Gerald。
　　[Talkstohim。]
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Youenjoycountrylife，MissWorsley？
　　HESTER。Verymuchindeed。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Don’tfindyourselflongingforaLondondinner—
　　party？
　　HESTER。IdislikeLondondinner—parties。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Iadorethem。Thecleverpeopleneverlisten，andthestupidpeoplenevertalk。
　　HESTER。Ithinkthestupidpeopletalkagreatdeal。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Ah，Ineverlisten!
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Mydearboy，ifIdidn’tlikeyouIwouldn’thavemadeyoutheoffer。ItisbecauseIlikeyousomuchthatI
　　wanttohaveyouwithme。
　　[ExitHESTERwithGERALD。]
　　Charmingfellow，GeraldArbuthnot!
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Heisverynice；veryniceindeed。ButIcan’tstandtheAmericanyounglady。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Why？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Shetoldmeyesterday，andinquitealoudvoicetoo，thatshewasonlyeighteen。Itwasmostannoying。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Oneshouldnevertrustawomanwhotellsoneherrealage。Awomanwhowouldtellonethat，wouldtelloneanything。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。SheisaPuritanbesides—
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Ah，thatisinexcusable。Idon’tmindplainwomenbeingPuritans。Itistheonlyexcusetheyhaveforbeingplain。Butsheisdecidedlypretty。Iadmireherimmensely。
　　[LookssteadfastlyatMRS。ALLONBY。]
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Whatathoroughlybadmanyoumustbe!
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Whatdoyoucallabadman？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Thesortofmanwhoadmiresinnocence。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Andabadwoman？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Oh!thesortofwomanamannevergetstiredof。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Youaresevere—onyourself。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Defineusasasex。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Sphinxeswithoutsecrets。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。DoesthatincludethePuritanwomen？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Doyouknow，Idon’tbelieveintheexistenceofPuritanwomen？Idon’tthinkthereisawomanintheworldwhowouldnotbealittleflatteredifonemadelovetoher。Itisthatwhichmakeswomensoirresistiblyadorable。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Youthinkthereisnowomanintheworldwhowouldobjecttobeingkissed？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Veryfew。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。MissWorsleywouldnotletyoukissher。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Areyousure？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Quite。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Whatdoyouthinkshe’ddoifIkissedher？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Eithermarryyou，orstrikeyouacrossthefacewithherglove。Whatwouldyoudoifshestruckyouacrossthefacewithherglove？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Fallinlovewithher，probably。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Thenitisluckyyouarenotgoingtokissher!
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Isthatachallenge？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Itisanarrowshotintotheair。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Don’tyouknowthatIalwayssucceedinwhateverItry？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Iamsorrytohearit。Wewomenadorefailures。
　　Theyleanonus。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Youworshipsuccesses。Youclingtothem。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Wearethelaurelstohidetheirbaldness。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Andtheyneedyoualways，exceptatthemomentoftriumph。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Theyareuninterestingthen。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Howtantalisingyouare![Apause。]
　　MRS。ALLONBY。LordIllingworth，thereisonethingIshallalwayslikeyoufor。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Onlyonething？AndIhavesomanybadqualities。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Ah，don’tbetooconceitedaboutthem。Youmaylosethemasyougrowold。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Ineverintendtogrowold。Thesoulisbornoldbutgrowsyoung。Thatisthecomedyoflife。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Andthebodyisbornyoungandgrowsold。Thatislife’stragedy。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Itscomedyalso，sometimes。Butwhatisthemysteriousreasonwhyyouwillalwayslikeme？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Itisthatyouhavenevermadelovetome。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Ihaveneverdoneanythingelse。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Really？Ihavenotnoticedit。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Howfortunate!Itmighthavebeenatragedyforbothofus。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Weshouldeachhavesurvived。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Onecansurviveeverythingnowadays，exceptdeath，andlivedownanythingexceptagoodreputation。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Haveyoutriedagoodreputation？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。ItisoneofthemanyannoyancestowhichIhaveneverbeensubjected。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Itmaycome。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Whydoyouthreatenme？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。IwilltellyouwhenyouhavekissedthePuritan。
　　[EnterFootman。]
　　FRANCIS。TeaisservedintheYellowDrawing—room，mylord。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Tellherladyshipwearecomingin。
　　FRANCIS。Yes，mylord。
　　[Exit。]
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Shallwegointotea？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Doyoulikesuchsimplepleasures？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Iadoresimplepleasures。Theyarethelastrefugeofthecomplex。But，ifyouwish，letusstayhere。Yes，letusstayhere。TheBookofLifebeginswithamanandawomaninagarden。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。ItendswithRevelations。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Youfencedivinely。Butthebuttonhascomeofyourfoil。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Ihavestillthemask。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Itmakesyoureyeslovelier。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Thankyou。Come。
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。[SeesMRS。ARBUTHNOT’Sletterontable，andtakesitupandlooksatenvelope。]Whatacurioushandwriting!
　　ItremindsmeofthehandwritingofawomanIusedtoknowyearsago。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Who？
　　LORDILLINGWORTH。Oh!noone。Nooneinparticular。Awomanofnoimportance。[Throwsletterdown，andpassesupthestepsoftheterracewithMRS。ALLONBY。Theysmileateachother。]
　　ACTDROP。
　　SECONDACT
　　SCENE
　　Drawing—roomatHunstanton，afterdinner，lampslit。DoorL。C。
　　DoorR。C。
　　[Ladiesseatedonsofas。]
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Whatacomfortitistohavegotridofthemenforalittle!
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Yes；menpersecuteusdreadfully，don’tthey？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Persecuteus？Iwishtheydid。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Mydear!
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Theannoyingthingisthatthewretchescanbeperfectlyhappywithoutus。ThatiswhyIthinkitiseverywoman’sdutynevertoleavethemaloneforasinglemoment，exceptduringthisshortbreathingspaceafterdinner；withoutwhichI
　　believewepoorwomenwouldbeabsolutelyworntoshadows。
　　[EnterServantswithcoffee。]
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Worntoshadows，dear？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Yes，LadyHunstanton。Itissuchastrainkeepingmenuptothemark。Theyarealwaystryingtoescapefromus。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Itseemstomethatitiswewhoarealwaystryingtoescapefromthem。Menaresovery，veryheartless。Theyknowtheirpoweranduseit。
　　LADYCAROLINE。[TakescoffeefromServant。]Whatstuffandnonsenseallthisaboutmenis!Thethingtodoistokeepmenintheirproperplace。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Butwhatistheirproperplace，LadyCaroline？
　　LADYCAROLINE。Lookingaftertheirwives，Mrs。Allonby。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。[TakescoffeefromServant。]Really？Andifthey’renotmarried？
　　LADYCAROLINE。Iftheyarenotmarried，theyshouldbelookingafterawife。It’sperfectlyscandaloustheamountofbachelorswhoaregoingaboutsociety。Thereshouldbealawpassedtocompelthemalltomarrywithintwelvemonths。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。[Refusescoffee。]Butifthey’reinlovewithsomeonewho，perhaps，istiedtoanother？
　　LADYCAROLINE。Inthatcase，LadyStutfield，theyshouldbemarriedoffinaweektosomeplainrespectablegirl，inordertoteachthemnottomeddlewithotherpeople’sproperty。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Idon’tthinkthatweshouldeverbespokenofasotherpeople’sproperty。Allmenaremarriedwomen’sproperty。
　　Thatistheonlytruedefinitionofwhatmarriedwomen’spropertyreallyis。Butwedon’tbelongtoanyone。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Oh，Iamsovery，verygladtohearyousayso。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Butdoyoureallythink，dearCaroline，thatlegislationwouldimprovemattersinanyway？Iamtoldthat，nowadays，allthemarriedmenlivelikebachelors，andallthebachelorslikemarriedmen。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Icertainlyneverknowonefromtheother。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Oh，Ithinkonecanalwaysknowatoncewhetheramanhashomeclaimsuponhislifeornot。Ihavenoticedavery，verysadexpressionintheeyesofsomanymarriedmen。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Ah，allthatIhavenoticedisthattheyarehorriblytediouswhentheyaregoodhusbands，andabominablyconceitedwhentheyarenot。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Well，Isupposethetypeofhusbandhascompletelychangedsincemyyoungdays，butI’mboundtostatethatpoordearHunstantonwasthemostdelightfulofcreatures，andasgoodasgold。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Ah，myhusbandisasortofpromissorynote；I’mtiredofmeetinghim。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Butyourenewhimfromtimetotime，don’tyou？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Ohno，LadyCaroline。Ihaveonlyhadonehusbandasyet。Isupposeyoulookuponmeasquiteanamateur。
　　LADYCAROLINE。WithyourviewsonlifeIwonderyoumarriedatall。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。SodoI。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Mydearchild，Ibelieveyouarereallyveryhappyinyourmarriedlife，butthatyouliketohideyourhappinessfromothers。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。IassureyouIwashorriblydeceivedinErnest。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Oh，Ihopenot，dear。Iknewhismotherquitewell。ShewasaStratton，Caroline，oneofLordCrowland’sdaughtersLADYCAROLINE。VictoriaStratton？Irememberherperfectly。A
　　sillyfair—hairedwomanwithnochin。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Ah，Ernesthasachin。Hehasaverystrongchin，asquarechin。Ernest’schinisfartoosquare。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Butdoyoureallythinkaman’schincanbetoosquare？Ithinkamanshouldlookvery，verystrong，andthathischinshouldbequite，quitesquare。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。ThenyoushouldcertainlyknowErnest，LadyStutfield。Itisonlyfairtotellyoubeforehandhehasgotnoconversationatall。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Iadoresilentmen。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Oh，Ernestisn’tsilent。Hetalksthewholetime。
　　Buthehasgotnoconversation。WhathetalksaboutIdon’tknow。
　　Ihaven’tlistenedtohimforyears。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Haveyouneverforgivenhimthen？Howsadthatseems!Butalllifeisvery，verysad，isitnot？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Life，LadyStutfield，issimplyaMAUVAISQUART
　　D’HEUREmadeupofexquisitemoments。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Yes，therearemoments，certainly。Butwasitsomethingvery，verywrongthatMr。Allonbydid？Didhebecomeangrywithyou，andsayanythingthatwasunkindortrue？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Ohdear，no。Ernestisinvariablycalm。Thatisoneofthereasonshealwaysgetsonmynerves。Nothingissoaggravatingascalmness。Thereissomethingpositivelybrutalaboutthegoodtemperofmostmodernmen。Iwonderwewomenstanditaswellaswedo。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Yes；men’sgoodtempershowstheyarenotsosensitiveasweare，notsofinelystrung。Itmakesagreatbarrieroftenbetweenhusbandandwife，doesitnot？ButIwouldsomuchliketoknowwhatwasthewrongthingMr。Allonbydid。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Well，Iwilltellyou，ifyousolemnlypromisetotelleverybodyelse。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Thankyou，thankyou。Iwillmakeapointofrepeatingit。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。WhenErnestandIwereengaged，hesworetomepositivelyonhiskneesthathehadneverlovedanyonebeforeinthewholecourseofhislife。Iwasveryyoungatthetime，soI
　　didn’tbelievehim，Ineedn’ttellyou。Unfortunately，however，I
　　madenoenquiriesofanykindtillafterIhadbeenactuallymarriedfourorfivemonths。Ifoundoutthenthatwhathehadtoldmewasperfectlytrue。Andthatsortofthingmakesamansoabsolutelyuninteresting。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Mydear!
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Menalwayswanttobeawoman’sfirstlove。Thatistheirclumsyvanity。Wewomenhaveamoresubtleinstinctaboutthings。Whatwelikeistobeaman’slastromance。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Iseewhatyoumean。It’svery，verybeautiful。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Mydearchild，youdon’tmeantotellmethatyouwon’tforgiveyourhusbandbecauseheneverlovedanyoneelse？
　　Didyoueverhearsuchathing，Caroline？Iamquitesurprised。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Oh，womenhavebecomesohighlyeducated，Jane，thatnothingshouldsurpriseusnowadays，excepthappymarriages。
　　Theyapparentlyaregettingremarkablyrare。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Oh，they’requiteoutofdate。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Exceptamongstthemiddleclasses，Ihavebeentold。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Howlikethemiddleclasses!
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Yes—isitnot？—very，verylikethem。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Ifwhatyoutellusaboutthemiddleclassesistrue，LadyStutfield，itredoundsgreatlytotheircredit。Itismuchtoberegrettedthatinourrankoflifethewifeshouldbesopersistentlyfrivolous，undertheimpressionapparentlythatitistheproperthingtobe。ItistothatIattributetheunhappinessofsomanymarriagesweallknowofinsociety。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Doyouknow，LadyCaroline，Idon’tthinkthefrivolityofthewifehaseveranythingtodowithit。Moremarriagesareruinednowadaysbythecommonsenseofthehusbandthanbyanythingelse。Howcanawomanbeexpectedtobehappywithamanwhoinsistsontreatingherasifshewereaperfectlyrationalbeing？
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Mydear!
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Man，poor，awkward，reliable，necessarymanbelongstoasexthathasbeenrationalformillionsandmillionsofyears。
　　Hecan’thelphimself。Itisinhisrace。TheHistoryofWomanisverydifferent。Wehavealwaysbeenpicturesqueprotestsagainstthemereexistenceofcommonsense。Wesawitsdangersfromthefirst。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Yes，thecommonsenseofhusbandsiscertainlymost，mosttrying。DotellmeyourconceptionoftheIdealHusband。Ithinkitwouldbesovery，veryhelpful。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。TheIdealHusband？Therecouldn’tbesuchathing。
　　Theinstitutioniswrong。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。TheIdealMan，then，inhisrelationstoUS。
　　LADYCAROLINE。Hewouldprobablybeextremelyrealistic。
　　MRS。CAROLINE。TheIdealMan!Oh，theIdealManshouldtalktousasifweweregoddesses，andtreatusasifwewerechildren。Heshouldrefuseallourseriousrequests，andgratifyeveryoneofourwhims。Heshouldencourageustohavecaprices，andforbidustohavemissions。Heshouldalwayssaymuchmorethanhemeans，andalwaysmeanmuchmorethanhesays。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Buthowcouldhedoboth，dear？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Heshouldneverrundownotherprettywomen。Thatwouldshowhehadnotaste，ormakeonesuspectthathehadtoomuch。No；heshouldbeniceaboutthemall，butsaythatsomehowtheydon’tattracthim。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Yes，thatisalwaysvery，verypleasanttohearaboutotherwomen。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Ifweaskhimaquestionaboutanything，heshouldgiveusananswerallaboutourselves。Heshouldinvariablypraiseusforwhateverqualitiesheknowswehaven’tgot。Butheshouldbepitiless，quitepitiless，inreproachingusforthevirtuesthatwehaveneverdreamedofpossessing。Heshouldneverbelievethatweknowtheuseofusefulthings。Thatwouldbeunforgiveable。
　　Butheshouldshoweronuseverythingwedon’twant。
　　LADYCAROLINE。AsfarasIcansee，heistodonothingbutpaybillsandcompliments。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Heshouldpersistentlycompromiseusinpublic，andtreatuswithabsoluterespectwhenwearealone。Andyetheshouldbealwaysreadytohaveaperfectlyterriblescene，wheneverwewantone，andtobecomemiserable，absolutelymiserable，atamoment’snotice，andtooverwhelmuswithjustreproachesinlessthantwentyminutes，andtobepositivelyviolentattheendofhalfanhour，andtoleaveusforeverataquartertoeight，whenwehavetogoanddressfordinner。Andwhen，afterthat，onehasseenhimforreallythelasttime，andhehasrefusedtotakebackthelittlethingshehasgivenone，andpromisednevertocommunicatewithoneagain，ortowriteoneanyfoolishletters，heshouldbeperfectlybroken—hearted，andtelegraphtoonealldaylong，andsendonelittlenoteseveryhalf—hourbyaprivatehansom，anddinequitealoneattheclub，sothateveryoneshouldknowhowunhappyhewas。Andafterawholedreadfulweek，duringwhichonehasgoneabouteverywherewithone’shusband，justtoshowhowabsolutelylonelyonewas，hemaybegivenathirdlastparting，intheevening，andthen，ifhisconducthasbeenquiteirreproachable，andonehasbehavedreallybadlytohim，heshouldbeallowedtoadmitthathehasbeenentirelyinthewrong，andwhenhehasadmittedthat，itbecomesawoman’sdutytoforgive，andonecandoitalloveragainfromthebeginning，withvariations。
　　LADYHUNSTANTON。Howcleveryouare，mydear!Younevermeanasinglewordyousay。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Thankyou，thankyou。Ithasbeenquite，quiteentrancing。Imusttryandrememberitall。Therearesuchanumberofdetailsthataresovery，veryimportant。
　　LADYCAROLINE。ButyouhavenottoldusyetwhattherewardoftheIdealManistobe。
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Hisreward？Oh，infiniteexpectation。Thatisquiteenoughforhim。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Butmenaresoterribly，terriblyexacting，aretheynot？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Thatmakesnomatter。Oneshouldneversurrender。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。NoteventotheIdealMan？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。Certainlynottohim。Unless，ofcourse，onewantstogrowtiredofhim。
　　LADYSTUTFIELD。Oh!……yes。Iseethat。Itisvery，veryhelpful。Doyouthink，Mrs。Allonby，IshallevermeettheIdealMan？Oraretheremorethanone？
　　MRS。ALLONBY。TherearejustfourinLondon，LadyStutfield。