EnterPAROLLESguarded,andFirstSoldierBERTRAMAplagueuponhim!muffled!hecansaynothingofme:hush,hush!FirstLordHoodmancomes!PortotartarosaFirstSoldierHecallsforthetortures:whatwillyousaywithout’em?PAROLLESIwillconfesswhatIknowwithoutconstraint:
  ifyepinchmelikeapasty,Icansaynomore。FirstSoldierBoskochimurcho。FirstLordBoblibindochicurmurco。FirstSoldierYouareamercifulgeneral。OurgeneralbidsyouanswertowhatIshallaskyououtofanote。PAROLLESAndtruly,asIhopetolive。FirstSoldier[Reads]’Firstdemandofhimhowmanyhorsethedukeisstrong。’Whatsayyoutothat?PAROLLESFiveorsixthousand;butveryweakandunserviceable:thetroopsareallscattered,andthecommandersverypoorrogues,uponmyreputationandcreditandasIhopetolive。FirstSoldierShallIsetdownyouranswerso?PAROLLESDo:I’lltakethesacramenton’t,howandwhichwayyouwill。BERTRAMAll’sonetohim。Whatapast—savingslaveisthis!FirstLordYou’redeceived,mylord:thisisMonsieurParolles,thegallantmilitarist,——thatwashisownphrase,——thathadthewholetheoricofwarintheknotofhisscarf,andthepractiseinthechapeofhisdagger。SecondLordIwillnevertrustamanagainforkeepinghisswordclean。norbelievehecanhaveeverythinginhimbywearinghisapparelneatly。FirstSoldierWell,that’ssetdown。PAROLLESFiveorsixthousandhorse,Isaid,——
  Iwillsaytrue,——orthereabouts,setdown,forI’llspeaktruth。FirstLordHe’sverynearthetruthinthis。BERTRAMButIconhimnothanksfor’t,inthenaturehedeliversit。PAROLLESPoorrogues,Iprayyou,say。FirstSoldierWell,that’ssetdown。PAROLLESIhumblythankyou,sir:atruth’satruth,theroguesaremarvellouspoor。FirstSoldier[Reads]’Demandofhim,ofwhatstrengththeyarea—foot。’Whatsayyoutothat?PAROLLESBymytroth,sir,ifIweretolivethispresenthour,Iwilltelltrue。Letmesee:Spurio,ahundredandfifty;Sebastian,somany;Corambus,somany;Jaques,somany;Guiltian,Cosmo,Lodowick,andGratii,twohundredandfiftyeach;mineowncompany,Chitopher,Vaumond,Bentii,twohundredandfiftyeach:sothatthemuster—file,rottenandsound,uponmylife,amountsnottofifteenthousandpoll;halfofthewhichdarenotshakesnowfromofftheircassocks,lesttheyshakethemselvestopieces。BERTRAMWhatshallbedonetohim?FirstLordNothing,butlethimhavethanks。Demandofhimmycondition,andwhatcreditIhavewiththeduke。FirstSoldierWell,that’ssetdown。
  Reads’Youshalldemandofhim,whetheroneCaptainDumainbei’thecamp,aFrenchman;whathisreputationiswiththeduke;whathisvalour,honesty,andexpertnessinwars;orwhetherhethinksitwerenotpossible,withwell—weighingsumsofgold,tocorrupthimtorevolt。’Whatsayyoutothis?
  whatdoyouknowofit?PAROLLESIbeseechyou,letmeanswertotheparticularoftheinter’gatories:demandthemsingly。FirstSoldierDoyouknowthisCaptainDumain?PAROLLESIknowhim:a’wasabotcher’s’prenticeinParis,fromwhencehewaswhippedforgettingtheshrieve’sfoolwithchild,——adumbinnocent,thatcouldnotsayhimnay。BERTRAMNay,byyourleave,holdyourhands;
  thoughIknowhisbrainsareforfeittothenexttilethatfalls。FirstSoldierWell,isthiscaptaininthedukeofFlorence’scamp?PAROLLESUponmyknowledge,heis,andlousy。FirstLordNaylooknotsouponme;weshallhearofyourlordshipanon。FirstSoldierWhatishisreputationwiththeduke?PAROLLESThedukeknowshimfornootherbutapoorofficerofmine;andwrittomethisotherdaytoturnhimouto’theband:IthinkIhavehisletterinmypocket。FirstSoldierMarry,we’llsearch。PAROLLESIngoodsadness,Idonotknow;eitheritisthere,oritisuponafilewiththeduke’sotherlettersinmytent。FirstSoldierHere’tis;here’sapaper:shallIreadittoyou?PAROLLESIdonotknowifitbeitorno。BERTRAMOurinterpreterdoesitwell。FirstLordExcellently。FirstSoldier[Reads]’Dian,thecount’safool,andfullofgold,’——PAROLLESThatisnottheduke’sletter,sir;thatisanadvertisementtoapropermaidinFlorence,oneDiana,totakeheedoftheallurementofoneCountRousillon,afoolishidleboy,butforallthatveryruttish:Iprayyou,sir,putitupagain。FirstSoldierNay,I’llreaditfirst,byyourfavour。PAROLLESMymeaningin’t,Iprotest,wasveryhonestinthebehalfofthemaid;forIknewtheyoungcounttobeadangerousandlasciviousboy,whoisawhaletovirginityanddevoursupallthefryitfinds。BERTRAMDamnableboth—sidesrogue!FirstSoldier[Reads]’Whenheswearsoaths,bidhimdropgold,andtakeit;
  Afterhescores,heneverpaysthescore:
  Halfwonismatchwellmade;match,andwellmakeit;
  Hene’erpaysafter—debts,takeitbefore;
  Andsayasoldier,Dian,toldtheethis,Menaretomellwith,boysarenottokiss:
  Forcountofthis,thecount’safool,Iknowit,Whopaysbefore,butnotwhenhedoesoweit。
  Thine,ashevowedtotheeinthineear,PAROLLES。’BERTRAMHeshallbewhippedthroughthearmywiththisrhymein’sforehead。SecondLordThisisyourdevotedfriend,sir,themanifoldlinguistandthearmipotentsoldier。BERTRAMIcouldendureanythingbeforebutacat,andnowhe’sacattome。FirstSoldierIperceive,sir,bythegeneral’slooks,weshallbefaintohangyou。PAROLLESMylife,sir,inanycase:notthatI
  amafraidtodie;butthat,myoffencesbeingmany,Iwouldrepentouttheremainderofnature:letmelive,sir,inadungeon,i’thestocks,oranywhere,soImaylive。FirstSoldierWe’llseewhatmaybedone,soyouconfessfreely;
  therefore,oncemoretothisCaptainDumain:
  youhaveansweredtohisreputationwiththedukeandtohisvalour:whatishishonesty?PAROLLESHewillsteal,sir,aneggoutofacloister:
  forrapesandravishmentsheparallelsNessus:heprofessesnotkeepingofoaths;inbreaking’emheisstrongerthanHercules:hewilllie,sir,withsuchvolubility,thatyouwouldthinktruthwereafool:drunkennessishisbestvirtue,forhewillbeswine—drunk;andinhissleephedoeslittleharm,savetohisbed—clothesabouthim;buttheyknowhisconditionsandlayhiminstraw。Ihavebutlittlemoretosay,sir,ofhishonesty:hehaseverythingthatanhonestmanshouldnothave;
  whatanhonestmanshouldhave,hehasnothing。FirstLordIbegintolovehimforthis。BERTRAMForthisdescriptionofthinehonesty?
  Apoxuponhimforme,he’smoreandmoreacat。FirstSoldierWhatsayyoutohisexpertnessinwar?PAROLLESFaith,sir,hehasledthedrumbeforetheEnglishtragedians;tobeliehim,Iwillnot,andmoreofhissoldiershipIknownot;except,inthatcountryhehadthehonourtobetheofficerataplacetherecalledMile—end,toinstructforthedoublingoffiles:IwoulddothemanwhathonourIcan,butofthisIamnotcertain。FirstLordHehathout—villainedvillanysofar,thattherarityredeemshim。BERTRAMApoxonhim,he’sacatstill。FirstSoldierHisqualitiesbeingatthispoorprice,Ineednottoaskyouifgoldwillcorrupthimtorevolt。PAROLLESSir,foraquartd’ecuhewillsellthefee—simpleofhissalvation,theinheritanceofit;andcuttheentailfromallremainders,andaperpetualsuccessionforitperpetually。FirstSoldierWhat’shisbrother,theotherCaptainDumain?SecondLordWhydoesbeaskhimofme?FirstSoldierWhat’she?PAROLLESE’enacrowo’thesamenest;notaltogethersogreatasthefirstingoodness,butgreateragreatdealinevil:heexcelshisbrotherforacoward,yethisbrotherisreputedoneofthebestthatis:
  inaretreatheoutrunsanylackey;marry,incomingonhehasthecramp。FirstSoldierIfyourlifebesaved,willyouundertaketobetraytheFlorentine?PAROLLESAy,andthecaptainofhishorse,CountRousillon。FirstSoldierI’llwhisperwiththegeneral,andknowhispleasure。PAROLLES[Aside]I’llnomoredrumming;aplagueofalldrums!Onlytoseemtodeservewell,andtobeguilethesuppositionofthatlasciviousyoungboythecount,haveIrunintothisdanger。YetwhowouldhavesuspectedanambushwhereIwastaken?FirstSoldierThereisnoremedy,sir,butyoumustdie:thegeneralsays,youthathavesotraitorouslydiscoveredthesecretsofyourarmyandmadesuchpestiferousreportsofmenverynoblyheld,canservetheworldfornohonestuse;thereforeyoumustdie。Come,headsman,offwithhishead。PAROLLESOLord,sir,letmelive,orletmeseemydeath!FirstLordThatshallyou,andtakeyourleaveofallyourfriends。
  UnblindinghimSo,lookaboutyou:knowyouanyhere?BERTRAMGoodmorrow,noblecaptain。SecondLordGodblessyou,CaptainParolles。FirstLordGodsaveyou,noblecaptain。SecondLordCaptain,whatgreetingwillyoutomyLordLafeu?
  IamforFrance。FirstLordGoodcaptain,willyougivemeacopyofthesonnetyouwrittoDianainbehalfoftheCountRousillon?
  anIwerenotaverycoward,I’ldcompelitofyou:
  butfareyouwell。
  ExeuntBERTRAMandLordsFirstSoldierYouareundone,captain,allbutyourscarf;thathasaknoton’tyetPAROLLESWhocannotbecrushedwithaplot?FirstSoldierIfyoucouldfindoutacountrywherebutwomenwerethathadreceivedsomuchshame,youmightbeginanimpudentnation。Fareyewell,sir;IamforFrancetoo:weshallspeakofyouthere。
  ExitwithSoldiersPAROLLESYetamIthankful:ifmyheartweregreat,’Twouldburstatthis。CaptainI’llbenomore;
  ButIwilleatanddrink,andsleepassoftAscaptainshall:simplythethingIamShallmakemelive。Whoknowshimselfabraggart,Lethimfearthis,foritwillcometopassthateverybraggartshallbefoundanass。
  Rust,sword?cool,blushes!and,Parolles,liveSafestinshame!beingfool’d,byfoolerythrive!
  There’splaceandmeansforeverymanalive。
  I’llafterthem。
  ExitSCENEIV。Florence。TheWidow’shouse。EnterHELENA,Widow,andDIANAHELENAThatyoumaywellperceiveIhavenotwrong’dyou,OneofthegreatestintheChristianworldShallbemysurety;’forewhosethrone’tisneedful,EreIcanperfectmineintents,tokneel:
  Timewas,Ididhimadesiredoffice,Dearalmostashislife;whichgratitudeThroughflintyTartar’sbosomwouldpeepforth,Andanswer,thanks:Idulyaminform’dHisgraceisatMarseilles;towhichplaceWehaveconvenientconvoy。YoumustknowIamsupposeddead:thearmybreaking,Myhusbandhieshimhome;where,heavenaiding,Andbytheleaveofmygoodlordtheking,We’llbebeforeourwelcome。WidowGentlemadam,YouneverhadaservanttowhosetrustYourbusinesswasmorewelcome。HELENANoryou,mistress,EverafriendwhosethoughtsmoretrulylabourTorecompenseyourlove:doubtnotbutheavenHathbroughtmeuptobeyourdaughter’sdower,AsithathfatedhertobemymotiveAndhelpertoahusband。But,Ostrangemen!
  Thatcansuchsweetusemakeofwhattheyhate,Whensaucytrustingofthecozen’dthoughtsDefilesthepitchynight:solustdothplayWithwhatitloathesforthatwhichisaway。
  Butmoreofthishereafter。You,Diana,UndermypoorinstructionsyetmustsufferSomethinginmybehalf。DIANALetdeathandhonestyGowithyourimpositions,IamyoursUponyourwilltosuffer。HELENAYet,Iprayyou:
  Butwiththewordthetimewillbringonsummer,Whenbriersshallhaveleavesaswellasthorns,Andbeassweetassharp。Wemustaway;
  Ourwagonisprepared,andtimerevivesus:
  All’swellthatendswell;stillthefine’sthecrown;
  Whate’erthecourse,theendistherenown。
  ExeuntSCENEV。Rousillon。TheCOUNT’spalace。EnterCOUNTESS,LAFEU,andClownLAFEUNo,no,no,yoursonwasmisledwithasnipt—taffetafellowthere,whosevillanoussaffronwouldhavemadealltheunbakedanddoughyyouthofanationinhiscolour:yourdaughter—in—lawhadbeenaliveatthishour,andyoursonhereathome,moreadvancedbythekingthanbythatred—tailedhumble—beeIspeakof。COUNTESSIwouldIhadnotknownhim;itwasthedeathofthemostvirtuousgentlewomanthatevernaturehadpraiseforcreating。Ifshehadpartakenofmyflesh,andcostmethedearestgroansofamother,I
  couldnothaveowedheramorerootedlove。LAFEU’Twasagoodlady,’twasagoodlady:
  wemaypickathousandsaladserewelightonsuchanotherherb。ClownIndeed,sir,shewasthesweetmarjoramofthesalad,orrather,theherbofgrace。LAFEUTheyarenotherbs,youknave;theyarenose—herbs。ClownIamnogreatNebuchadnezzar,sir;Ihavenotmuchskillingrass。LAFEUWhetherdostthouprofessthyself,aknaveorafool?ClownAfool,sir,atawoman’sservice,andaknaveataman’s。LAFEUYourdistinction?ClownIwouldcozenthemanofhiswifeanddohisservice。LAFEUSoyouwereaknaveathisservice,indeed。ClownAndIwouldgivehiswifemybauble,sir,todoherservice。LAFEUIwillsubscribeforthee,thouartbothknaveandfool。ClownAtyourservice。LAFEUNo,no,no。ClownWhy,sir,ifIcannotserveyou,Icanserveasgreataprinceasyouare。LAFEUWho’sthat?aFrenchman?ClownFaith,sir,a’hasanEnglishname;buthisfisnomyismorehotterinFrancethanthere。LAFEUWhatprinceisthat?ClownTheblackprince,sir;alias,theprinceofdarkness;alias,thedevil。LAFEUHoldthee,there’smypurse:Igivetheenotthistosuggesttheefromthymasterthoutalkestof;
  servehimstill。ClownIamawoodlandfellow,sir,thatalwayslovedagreatfire;andthemasterIspeakofeverkeepsagoodfire。But,sure,heistheprinceoftheworld;lethisnobilityremainin’scourt。Iamforthehousewiththenarrowgate,whichItaketobetoolittleforpomptoenter:somethathumblethemselvesmay;butthemanywillbetoochillandtender,andthey’llbefortheflowerywaythatleadstothebroadgateandthegreatfire。LAFEUGothyways,Ibegintobeawearyofthee;
  andI
  telltheesobefore,becauseIwouldnotfalloutwiththee。Gothyways:letmyhorsesbewelllookedto,withoutanytricks。ClownIfIputanytricksupon’em,sir,theyshallbejades’tricks;whicharetheirownrightbythelawofnature。
  ExitLAFEUAshrewdknaveandanunhappy。COUNTESSSoheis。Mylordthat’sgonemadehimselfmuchsportoutofhim:byhisauthorityheremainshere,whichhethinksisapatentforhissauciness;
  and,indeed,hehasnopace,butrunswherehewill。LAFEUIlikehimwell;’tisnotamiss。AndI
  wasabouttotellyou,sinceIheardofthegoodlady’sdeathandthatmylordyoursonwasuponhisreturnhome,I
  movedthekingmymastertospeakinthebehalfofmydaughter;which,intheminorityofthemboth,hismajesty,outofaself—graciousremembrance,didfirstpropose:hishighnesshathpromisedmetodoit:and,tostopupthedispleasurehehathconceivedagainstyourson,thereisnofittermatter。Howdoesyourladyshiplikeit?COUNTESSWithverymuchcontent,mylord;andI
  wishithappilyeffected。LAFEUHishighnesscomespostfromMarseilles,ofasablebodyaswhenhenumberedthirty:hewillbehereto—morrow,orIamdeceivedbyhimthatinsuchintelligencehathseldomfailed。COUNTESSItrejoicesme,thatIhopeIshallseehimereI
  die。Ihavelettersthatmysonwillbehereto—night:Ishallbeseechyourlordshiptoremainwithmetilltheymeettogether。LAFEUMadam,IwasthinkingwithwhatmannersImightsafelybeadmitted。COUNTESSYouneedbutpleadyourhonourableprivilege。LAFEULady,ofthatIhavemadeaboldcharter;
  butI
  thankmyGoditholdsyet。
  Re—enterClownClownOmadam,yonder’smylordyoursonwithapatchofvelveton’sface:whethertherebeascarunder’torno,thevelvetknows;but’tisagoodlypatchofvelvet:hisleftcheekisacheekoftwopileandahalf,buthisrightcheekiswornbare。LAFEUAscarnoblygot,oranoblescar,isagoodliveryofhonour;sobelikeisthat。ClownButitisyourcarbonadoedface。LAFEULetusgoseeyourson,Iprayyou:I
  longtotalkwiththeyoungnoblesoldier。ClownFaiththere’sadozenof’em,withdelicatefinehatsandmostcourteousfeathers,whichbowtheheadandnodateveryman。
  ExeuntACTVSCENEI。Marseilles。Astreet。EnterHELENA,Widow,andDIANA,withtwoAttendantsHELENAButthisexceedingpostingdayandnightMustwearyourspiritslow;wecannothelpit:
  Butsinceyouhavemadethedaysandnightsasone,Towearyourgentlelimbsinmyaffairs,BeboldyoudosogrowinmyrequitalAsnothingcanunrootyou。Inhappytime;
  EnteraGentlemanThismanmayhelpmetohismajesty’sear,Ifhewouldspendhispower。Godsaveyou,sir。GentlemanAndyou。HELENASir,IhaveseenyouinthecourtofFrance。GentlemanIhavebeensometimesthere。HELENAIdopresume,sir,thatyouarenotfallenFromthereportthatgoesuponyourgoodness;
  Antherefore,goadedwithmostsharpoccasions,Whichlaynicemannersby,IputyoutoTheuseofyourownvirtues,forthewhichIshallcontinuethankful。GentlemanWhat’syourwill?HELENAThatitwillpleaseyouTogivethispoorpetitiontotheking,AndaidmewiththatstoreofpoweryouhaveTocomeintohispresence。GentlemanTheking’snothere。HELENANothere,sir!GentlemanNot,indeed:
  HehenceremovedlastnightandwithmorehasteThanishisuse。WidowLord,howweloseourpains!HELENAALL’SWELLTHATENDSWELLyet,Thoughtimeseemsoadverseandmeansunfit。
  Idobeseechyou,whitherishegone?GentlemanMarry,asItakeit,toRousillon;
  WhitherIamgoing。HELENAIdobeseechyou,sir,Sinceyouareliketoseethekingbeforeme,Commendthepapertohisgracioushand,WhichIpresumeshallrenderyounoblameButrathermakeyouthankyourpainsforit。
  IwillcomeafteryouwithwhatgoodspeedOurmeanswillmakeusmeans。GentlemanThisI’lldoforyou。HELENAAndyoushallfindyourselftobewellthank’d,Whate’erfallsmore。Wemusttohorseagain。
  Go,go,provide。
  ExeuntSCENEII。Rousillon。BeforetheCOUNT’spalace。EnterClown,andPAROLLES,followingPAROLLESGoodMonsieurLavache,givemyLordLafeuthisletter:Ihaveerenow,sir,beenbetterknowntoyou,whenIhaveheldfamiliaritywithfresherclothes;butIamnow,sir,muddiedinfortune’smood,andsmellsomewhatstrongofherstrongdispleasure。ClownTruly,fortune’sdispleasureisbutsluttish,ifitsmellsostronglyasthouspeakestof:Iwillhencefortheatnofishoffortune’sbuttering。
  Prithee,allowthewind。PAROLLESNay,youneednottostopyournose,sir;
  Ispakebutbyametaphor。ClownIndeed,sir,ifyourmetaphorstink,I
  willstopmynose;oragainstanyman’smetaphor。Prithee,gettheefurther。PAROLLESPrayyou,sir,delivermethispaper。ClownFoh!prithee,standaway:apaperfromfortune’sclose—stooltogivetoanobleman!Look,herehecomeshimself。
  EnterLAFEU
  Hereisapurroffortune’s,sir,oroffortune’scat,——butnotamusk—cat,——thathasfallenintotheuncleanfishpondofherdispleasure,and,ashesays,ismuddiedwithal:prayyou,sir,usethecarpasyoumay;forhelookslikeapoor,decayed,ingenious,foolish,rascallyknave。Idopityhisdistressinmysimilesofcomfortandleavehimtoyourlordship。
  ExitPAROLLESMylord,Iamamanwhomfortunehathcruellyscratched。LAFEUAndwhatwouldyouhavemetodo?’Tistoolatetoparehernailsnow。Whereinhaveyouplayedtheknavewithfortune,thatsheshouldscratchyou,whoofherselfisagoodladyandwouldnothaveknavesthrivelongunderher?There’saquartd’ecuforyou:letthejusticesmakeyouandfortunefriends:
  Iamforotherbusiness。PAROLLESIbeseechyourhonourtohearmeonesingleword。LAFEUYoubegasinglepennymore:come,youshallha’t;
  saveyourword。PAROLLESMyname,mygoodlord,isParolles。LAFEUYoubegmorethan’word,’then。Coxmypassion!
  givemeyourhand。Howdoesyourdrum?PAROLLESOmygoodlord,youwerethefirstthatfoundme!LAFEUWasI,insooth?andIwasthefirstthatlostthee。PAROLLESItliesinyou,mylord,tobringmeinsomegrace,foryoudidbringmeout。LAFEUOutuponthee,knave!dostthouputuponmeatonceboththeofficeofGodandthedevil?Onebringstheeingraceandtheotherbringstheeout。
  TrumpetssoundTheking’scoming;Iknowbyhistrumpets。Sirrah,inquirefurtherafterme;Ihadtalkofyoulastnight:thoughyouareafoolandaknave,youshalleat;goto,follow。PAROLLESIpraiseGodforyou。
  ExeuntSCENEIII。Rousillon。TheCOUNT’spalace。Flourish。EnterKING,COUNTESS,LAFEU,thetwoFrenchLords,withAttendantsKINGWelostajewelofher;andouresteemWasmademuchpoorerbyit:butyourson,Asmadinfolly,lack’dthesensetoknowHerestimationhome。COUNTESS’Tispast,myliege;
  AndIbeseechyourmajestytomakeitNaturalrebellion,donei’theblazeofyouth;
  Whenoilandfire,toostrongforreason’sforce,O’erbearsitandburnson。KINGMyhonour’dlady,Ihaveforgivenandforgottenall;
  Thoughmyrevengeswerehighbentuponhim,Andwatch’dthetimetoshoot。LAFEUThisImustsay,ButfirstIbegmypardon,theyounglordDidtohismajesty,hismotherandhisladyOffenceofmightynote;buttohimselfThegreatestwrongofall。HelostawifeWhosebeautydidastonishthesurveyOfrichesteyes,whosewordsallearstookcaptive,Whosedearperfectionheartsthatscorn’dtoserveHumblycall’dmistress。KINGPraisingwhatislostMakestheremembrancedear。Well,callhimhither;
  Wearereconciled,andthefirstviewshallkillAllrepetition:lethimnotaskourpardon;
  Thenatureofhisgreatoffenceisdead,AnddeeperthanoblivionwedoburyTheincensingrelicsofit:lethimapproach,Astranger,nooffender;andinformhimSo’tisourwillheshould。GentlemanIshall,myliege。
  ExitKINGWhatsayshetoyourdaughter?haveyouspoke?LAFEUAllthatheishathreferencetoyourhighness。KINGThenshallwehaveamatch。IhaveletterssentmeThatsethimhighinfame。
  EnterBERTRAMLAFEUHelookswellon’t。KINGIamnotadayofseason,ForthoumaystseeasunshineandahailInmeatonce:buttothebrightestbeamsDistractedcloudsgiveway;sostandthouforth;
  Thetimeisfairagain。BERTRAMMyhigh—repentedblames,Dearsovereign,pardontome。KINGAlliswhole;
  Notonewordmoreoftheconsumedtime。
  Let’staketheinstantbytheforwardtop;
  Forweareold,andonourquick’stdecreesTheinaudibleandnoiselessfootofTimeStealserewecaneffectthem。YourememberThedaughterofthislord?BERTRAMAdmiringly,myliege,atfirstIstuckmychoiceuponher,eremyheartDurstmaketooboldaheraldofmytongueWheretheimpressionofmineeyeinfixing,Contempthisscornfulperspectivedidlendme,Whichwarp’dthelineofeveryotherfavour;
  Scorn’dafaircolour,orexpress’ditstolen;
  ExtendedorcontractedallproportionsToamosthideousobject:thenceitcameThatshewhomallmenpraisedandwhommyself,SinceIhavelost,haveloved,wasinmineeyeThedustthatdidoffendit。KINGWellexcused:
  Thatthoudidstloveher,strikessomescoresawayFromthegreatcompt:butlovethatcomestoolate,Likearemorsefulpardonslowlycarried,Tothegreatsenderturnsasouroffence,Crying,’That’sgoodthat’sgone。’OurrashfaultsMaketrivialpriceofseriousthingswehave,Notknowingthemuntilweknowtheirgrave:
  Oftourdispleasures,toourselvesunjust,DestroyourfriendsandafterweeptheirdustOurownlovewakingcriestoseewhat’sdone,Whileshamefulllatesleepsouttheafternoon。
  BethissweetHelen’sknell,andnowforgether。
  SendforthyouramoroustokenforfairMaudlin:
  Themainconsentsarehad;andherewe’llstayToseeourwidower’ssecondmarriage—day。COUNTESSWhichbetterthanthefirst,Odearheaven,bless!
  Or,eretheymeet,inme,Onature,cesse!LAFEUComeon,myson,inwhommyhouse’snameMustbedigested,giveafavourfromyouTosparkleinthespiritsofmydaughter,Thatshemayquicklycome。
  BERTRAMgivesaringBymyoldbeard,Andeveryhairthat’son’t,Helen,that’sdead,Wasasweetcreature:sucharingasthis,Thelastthate’erItookheratcourt,Isawuponherfinger。BERTRAMHersitwasnot。KINGNow,prayyou,letmeseeit;formineeye,WhileIwasspeaking,oftwasfasten’dto’t。
  Thisringwasmine;and,whenIgaveitHelen,Ibadeher,ifherfortuneseverstoodNecessitiedtohelp,thatbythistokenIwouldrelieveher。Hadyouthatcraft,toreaveherOfwhatshouldsteadhermost?BERTRAMMygracioussovereign,Howe’eritpleasesyoutotakeitso,Theringwasneverhers。COUNTESSSon,onmylife,Ihaveseenherwearit;andshereckon’ditAtherlife’srate。LAFEUIamsureIsawherwearit。BERTRAMYouaredeceived,mylord;sheneversawit:
  InFlorencewasitfromacasementthrownme,Wrapp’dinapaper,whichcontain’dthenameOfherthatthrewit:nobleshewas,andthoughtIstoodengaged:butwhenIhadsubscribedTomineownfortuneandinform’dherfullyIcouldnotanswerinthatcourseofhonourAsshehadmadetheoverture,sheceasedInheavysatisfactionandwouldneverReceivetheringagain。KINGPlutushimself,Thatknowsthetinctandmultiplyingmedicine,Hathnotinnature’smysterymorescienceThanIhaveinthisring:’twasmine,’twasHelen’s,Whoevergaveityou。Then,ifyouknowThatyouarewellacquaintedwithyourself,Confess’twashers,andbywhatroughenforcementYougotitfromher:shecall’dthesaintstosuretyThatshewouldneverputitfromherfinger,Unlessshegaveittoyourselfinbed,Whereyouhavenevercome,orsentitusUponhergreatdisaster。BERTRAMSheneversawit。KINGThouspeak’stitfalsely,asIloveminehonour;
  AndmakestconjecturalfearstocomeintomeWhichIwouldfainshutout。IfitshouldproveThatthouartsoinhuman,——’twillnotproveso;——
  AndyetIknownot:thoudidsthateherdeadly,Andsheisdead;whichnothing,buttocloseHereyesmyself,couldwinmetobelieve,Morethantoseethisring。Takehimaway。
  GuardsseizeBERTRAM
  Myfore—pastproofs,howe’erthematterfall,Shalltaxmyfearsoflittlevanity,Havingvainlyfear’dtoolittle。Awaywithhim!
  We’llsiftthismatterfurther。BERTRAMIfyoushallproveThisringwaseverhers,youshallaseasyProvethatIhusbandedherbedinFlorence,Whereyetsheneverwas。
  Exit,guardedKINGIamwrapp’dindismalthinkings。
  EnteraGentlemanGentlemanGracioussovereign,WhetherIhavebeentoblameorno,Iknownot:
  Here’sapetitionfromaFlorentine,WhohathforfourorfiveremovescomeshortTotenderitherself。Iundertookit,Vanquish’dtheretobythefairgraceandspeechOfthepoorsuppliant,whobythisIknowIshereattending:herbusinesslooksinherWithanimportingvisage;andshetoldme,Inasweetverbalbrief,itdidconcernYourhighnesswithherself。KING[Reads]Uponhismanyprotestationstomarrymewhenhiswifewasdead,Iblushtosayit,hewonme。NowistheCountRousillonawidower:hisvowsareforfeitedtome,andmyhonour’spaidtohim。HestolefromFlorence,takingnoleave,andIfollowhimtohiscountryforjustice:grantitme,O
  king!inyouitbestlies;otherwiseaseducerflourishes,andapoormaidisundone。
  DIANACAPILET。LAFEUIwillbuymeason—in—lawinafair,andtollforthis:I’llnoneofhim。KINGTheheavenshavethoughtwellontheeLafeu,Tobringforththisdiscovery。Seekthesesuitors:
  Gospeedilyandbringagainthecount。
  IamafeardthelifeofHelen,lady,Wasfoullysnatch’d。COUNTESSNow,justiceonthedoers!
  Re—enterBERTRAM,guardedKINGIwonder,sir,sithwivesaremonsterstoyou,Andthatyouflythemasyouswearthemlordship,Yetyoudesiretomarry。
  EnterWidowandDIANA
  Whatwoman’sthat?DIANAIam,mylord,awretchedFlorentine,DerivedfromtheancientCapilet:
  Mysuit,asIdounderstand,youknow,AndthereforeknowhowfarImaybepitied。WidowIamhermother,sir,whoseageandhonourBothsufferunderthiscomplaintwebring,Andbothshallcease,withoutyourremedy。KINGComehither,count;doyouknowthesewomen?BERTRAMMylord,IneithercannorwilldenyButthatIknowthem:dotheychargemefurther?DIANAWhydoyoulooksostrangeuponyourwife?BERTRAMShe’snoneofmine,mylord。DIANAIfyoushallmarry,Yougiveawaythishand,andthatismine;
  Yougiveawayheaven’svows,andthosearemine;
  Yougiveawaymyself,whichisknownmine;
  ForIbyvowamsoembodiedyours,Thatshewhichmarriesyoumustmarryme,Eitherbothornone。LAFEUYourreputationcomestooshortformydaughter;youarenohusbandforher。BERTRAMMylord,thisisafondanddesperatecreature,WhomsometimeIhavelaugh’dwith:letyourhighnessLayamorenoblethoughtuponminehonourThanfortothinkthatIwouldsinkithere。KINGSir,formythoughts,youhavethemilltofriendTillyourdeedsgainthem:fairerproveyourhonourThaninmythoughtitlies。DIANAGoodmylord,Askhimuponhisoath,ifhedoesthinkHehadnotmyvirginity。KINGWhatsay’stthoutoher?BERTRAMShe’simpudent,mylord,Andwasacommongamestertothecamp。DIANAHedoesmewrong,mylord;ifIwereso,Hemighthaveboughtmeatacommonprice:
  Donotbelievehim。O,beholdthisring,WhosehighrespectandrichvalidityDidlackaparallel;yetforallthatHegaveittoacommonero’thecamp,IfIbeone。COUNTESSHeblushes,and’tisit:
  Ofsixprecedingancestors,thatgem,Conferr’dbytestamenttothesequentissue,Hathitbeenowedandworn。Thisishiswife;
  Thatring’sathousandproofs。KINGMethoughtyousaidYousawonehereincourtcouldwitnessit。DIANAIdid,mylord,butloathamtoproduceSobadaninstrument:hisname’sParolles。LAFEUIsawthemanto—day,ifmanhebe。KINGFindhim,andbringhimhither。
  ExitanAttendantBERTRAMWhatofhim?
  He’squotedforamostperfidiousslave,Withallthespotso’theworldtax’danddebosh’d;
  Whosenaturesickensbuttospeakatruth。
  AmIorthatorthisforwhathe’llutter,Thatwillspeakanything?KINGShehaththatringofyours。BERTRAMIthinkshehas:certainitisIlikedher,Andboardedheri’thewantonwayofyouth:
  Sheknewherdistanceanddidangleforme,Maddingmyeagernesswithherrestraint,Asallimpedimentsinfancy’scourseAremotivesofmorefancy;and,infine,Herinfinitecunning,withhermoderngrace,Subduedmetoherrate:shegotthering;
  AndIhadthatwhichanyinferiormightAtmarket—pricehavebought。DIANAImustbepatient:
  You,thathaveturn’doffafirstsonoblewife,Mayjustlydietme。Iprayyouyet;
  Sinceyoulackvirtue,Iwillloseahusband;
  Sendforyourring,Iwillreturnithome,Andgivememineagain。BERTRAMIhaveitnot。KINGWhatringwasyours,Iprayyou?DIANASir,muchlikeThesameuponyourfinger。KINGKnowyouthisring?thisringwashisoflate。DIANAAndthiswasitIgavehim,beingabed。KINGThestorythengoesfalse,youthrewithimOutofacasement。DIANAIhavespokethetruth。
  EnterPAROLLESBERTRAMMylord,Idoconfesstheringwashers。KINGYouboggleshrewdly,everyfeatherstarsyou。
  Isthisthemanyouspeakof?DIANAAy,mylord。KINGTellme,sirrah,buttellmetrue,I
  chargeyou,Notfearingthedispleasureofyourmaster,WhichonyourjustproceedingI’llkeepoff,Byhimandbythiswomanherewhatknowyou?PAROLLESSopleaseyourmajesty,mymasterhathbeenanhonourablegentleman:trickshehathhadinhim,whichgentlemenhave。KINGCome,come,tothepurpose:didhelovethiswoman?PAROLLESFaith,sir,hedidloveher;buthow?KINGHow,Iprayyou?PAROLLESHedidloveher,sir,asagentlemanlovesawoman。KINGHowisthat?PAROLLESHelovedher,sir,andlovedhernot。KINGAsthouartaknave,andnoknave。Whatanequivocalcompanionisthis!PAROLLESIamapoorman,andatyourmajesty’scommand。LAFEUHe’sagooddrum,mylord,butanaughtyorator。DIANADoyouknowhepromisedmemarriage?PAROLLESFaith,IknowmorethanI’llspeak。KINGButwiltthounotspeakallthouknowest?PAROLLESYes,sopleaseyourmajesty。Ididgobetweenthem,asIsaid;butmorethanthat,helovedher:
  forindeedhewasmadforher,andtalkedofSatanandofLimboandofFuriesandIknownotwhat:yetI
  wasinthatcreditwiththematthattimethatI
  knewoftheirgoingtobed,andofothermotions,aspromisinghermarriage,andthingswhichwouldderivemeillwilltospeakof;thereforeIwillnotspeakwhatIknow。KINGThouhastspokenallalready,unlessthoucanstsaytheyaremarried:butthouarttoofineinthyevidence;thereforestandaside。
  Thisring,yousay,wasyours?DIANAAy,mygoodlord。KINGWheredidyoubuyit?orwhogaveityou?DIANAItwasnotgivenme,norIdidnotbuyit。KINGWholentityou?DIANAItwasnotlentmeneither。KINGWheredidyoufindit,then?DIANAIfounditnot。KINGIfitwereyoursbynoneofalltheseways,Howcouldyougiveithim?DIANAInevergaveithim。LAFEUThiswoman’saneasyglove,mylord;
  shegoesoffandonatpleasure。KINGThisringwasmine;Igaveithisfirstwife。DIANAItmightbeyoursorhers,foraughtIknow。KINGTakeheraway;Idonotlikehernow;
  Toprisonwithher:andawaywithhim。
  Unlessthoutell’stmewherethouhadstthisring,Thoudiestwithinthishour。DIANAI’llnevertellyou。KINGTakeheraway。DIANAI’llputinbail,myliege。KINGIthinktheenowsomecommoncustomer。DIANAByJove,ifeverIknewman,’twasyou。KINGWhereforehastthouaccusedhimallthiswhile?DIANABecausehe’sguilty,andheisnotguilty:
  HeknowsIamnomaid,andhe’llswearto’t;
  I’llswearIamamaid,andheknowsnot。
  Greatking,Iamnostrumpet,bymylife;
  Iameithermaid,orelsethisoldman’swife。KINGShedoesabuseourears:toprisonwithher。DIANAGoodmother,fetchmybail。Stay,royalsir:
  ExitWidowThejewellerthatowestheringissentfor,Andheshallsuretyme。Butforthislord,Whohathabusedme,asheknowshimself,Thoughyetheneverharm’dme,hereIquithim:
  Heknowshimselfmybedhehathdefiled;
  Andatthattimehegothiswifewithchild:
  Deadthoughshebe,shefeelsheryoungonekick:
  Sothere’smyriddle:onethat’sdeadisquick:
  Andnowbeholdthemeaning。
  Re—enterWidow,withHELENAKINGIstherenoexorcistBeguilesthetruerofficeofmineeyes?
  Is’trealthatIsee?HELENANo,mygoodlord;
  ’Tisbuttheshadowofawifeyousee,Thenameandnotthething。BERTRAMBoth,both。O,pardon!HELENAOmygoodlord,whenIwaslikethismaid,Ifoundyouwondrouskind。Thereisyourring;
  And,lookyou,here’syourletter;thisitsays:
  ’WhenfrommyfingeryoucangetthisringAndarebymewithchild,’&;c。Thisisdone:
  Willyoubemine,nowyouaredoublywon?BERTRAMIfshe,myliege,canmakemeknowthisclearly,I’llloveherdearly,ever,everdearly。HELENAIfitappearnotplainandproveuntrue,Deadlydivorcestepbetweenmeandyou!
  Omydearmother,doIseeyouliving?LAFEUMineeyessmellonions;Ishallweepanon:
  ToPAROLLES
  GoodTomDrum,lendmeahandkercher:so,Ithankthee:waitonmehome,I’llmakesportwiththee:
  Letthycourtesiesalone,theyarescurvyones。KINGLetusfrompointtopointthisstoryknow,Tomaketheeventruthinpleasureflow。
  ToDIANA
  Ifthoube’styetafreshuncroppedflower,Choosethouthyhusband,andI’llpaythydower;
  ForIcanguessthatbythyhonestaidThoukeep’stawifeherself,thyselfamaid。
  Ofthatandalltheprogress,moreorless,Resolvedlymoreleisureshallexpress:
  Allyetseemswell;andifitendsomeet,Thebitterpast,morewelcomeisthesweet。
  FlourishEPILOGUEKINGTheking’sabeggar,nowtheplayisdone:
  Alliswellended,ifthissuitbewon,Thatyouexpresscontent;whichwewillpay,Withstrifetopleaseyou,dayexceedingday:
  Oursbeyourpatiencethen,andyoursourparts;
  Yourgentlehandslendus,andtakeourhearts。