However,heturnedresolutelyawayfromthesubjectIhadintroducedandbegantodiscusstitlesforhisnovel。
"It’simpossibletofindanythingnew,"hesaid,"absolutelyimpossible。IdeclareIshalltaketonumbers。"
Ilaughedatthisprosaicnotion,andwewerestilldiscussingthetitlewhenwereachedhome。
"Don’tsayanythingaboutitatlunch,"hesaidasweentered。"Myfatherdetestsmywriting。"
Inoddedassentandopenedthesitting—roomdoor——astrongsmellofbrandyinstantlybecameapparent;theMajorsatinthegreenvelvetchair,whichhadbeenwheeledclosetothehearth。Hewasdrunk。
Derrickgaveanejaculationofutterhopelessness。
"ThiswillundoallthegoodofBenRhydding!"hesaid。"Howonearthhashemanagedtogetit?"
TheMajor,however,wasnotsofargoneashelooked;hecaughtuptheremarkandturnedtowardsuswithahideouslaugh。
"Ah,yes,"hesaid,"that’sthequestion。Buttheoldmanhasstillsomebrains,yousee。I’llbeevenwithyouyet,Derrick。Youneedn’tthinkyou’retohaveitallyourownway。It’smyturnnow。
You’vedeprivedmeallthistimeoftheonlythingIcareforinlife,andnowIturnthetablesonyou。Titfortat。Oh!yes,I’veturnedyourd——dscribblingstoausefulpurpose,soyouneedn’tcomplain!"
AllthishadbeenshoutedoutatthetopofhisvoiceandfreelyinterlardedwithexpressionswhichIwillnotrepeat;attheendhebrokeagainintoalaugh,andwithalook,halfidiotic,halfdevilish,pointedtowardsthegrate。
"GoodHeavens!"Isaid,"whathaveyoudone?"
BythesideofthechairIsawapieceofbrownpaper,and,catchingitup,readtheaddress——"Messrs。Davison,PaternosterRow";inthefireplacewasahugecharredmass。Derrickcaughthisbreath;hestoopeddownandsnatchedfromthefenderafragmentofpaperslightlyburned,butstillnotcharredbeyondrecognitionliketherest。Thewritingwasquitelegible——itwashisownwriting——thedescriptionoftheRoyalists’attackandPaulWharncliffe’sdefenceofthebridge。Ilookedfromthehalf—burntscrapofpapertothesidetablewhere,onlythepreviousnight,wehadplacedthenovel,andthen,realisingasfarasanybutanauthorcouldrealisethefrightfulthingthathadhappened,IlookedinDerrick’sface。Itswhitefuryappalledme。WhathehadbornehithertofromtheMajor,Godonlyknows,butthiswasthelastdropinthecup。Dailyinsults,ceaselessprovocation,eventhehumiliationsofpersonalviolencehehadbornewithsuperhumanpatience;butthislastinjury,thiswantonlycrueloutrage,thisdeliberatedestructionofanamountofthought,andlabour,andsufferingwhichonlythewriterhimselfcouldfullyestimate——thiswasintolerable。
WhatmighthavehappenedhadtheMajorbeensoberandinthepossessionofordinaryphysicalstrengthIhardlycaretothink。Asitwas,hisweaknessprotectedhim。Derrick’swrathwasspeechless;
withonelookofloathingandcontemptatthedrunkenman,hestrodeoutoftheroom,caughtuphishat,andhurriedfromthehouse。
TheMajorsatchucklingtohimselfforaminuteortwo,butsoonhegrewdrowsy,andbeforelongwassnoringlikeagrampus。Theoldlandladybroughtinlunch,sawthestateofthingsprettyquickly,shookherheadandcommiseratedDerrick。Then,whenshehadlefttheroom,seeingnoprospectthateitherofmycompanionswouldbeinafitstateforlunch,Imadeasolitarymeal,andhadjustfinishedwhenacabstoppedatthedoorandoutsprangDerrick。I
wentintothepassagetomeethim。
"TheMajorisasleep,"Iremarked。
HetooknomorenoticethanifIhadspokenofthecat。
"I’mgoingtoLondon,"hesaid,makingforthestairs。"Canyougetyourbagready?There’satrainat2。5。"
Somehowthesuddennessandtheself—controlwithwhichhemadethisannouncementcarriedmebacktothehotelatSouthampton,where,afterlisteningtotheaccountoftheship’sdoctor,hehadannouncedhisintentionoflivingwithhisfather。Formorethantwoyearshehadbornethisawfullife;hehadlostprettynearlyallthattherewastobelostandhehadgainedtheMajor’svindictivehatred。Now,halfmaddenedbypain,andhaving,ashethought,sohopelesslyfailed,hesawnothingforitbuttogo——andthatatonce。
Ipackedmybag,andthenwenttohelphim。Hewascrammingallhispossessionsintoportmanteauxandboxes;theHoffmanwasalreadypacked,andthewalllookedcuriouslybarewithoutit。ClearlythiswasnovisittoLondon——hewasleavingBathforgood,andwhocouldwonderatit?
"Ihavearrangedfortheattendantfromthehospitaltocomeinatnightaswellasinthemorning,"hesaid,ashelockedaportmanteauthatwasstuffedalmosttobursting。"What’sthetime?
Wemustmakehasteorweshalllosethetrain。Do,likeagoodfellow,cramthatheapofthingsintothecarpet—bagwhileIspeaktothelandlady。"
Atlastwewereoff,rattlingthroughthequietstreetsofBath,andreachingthestationbarelyintimetorushupthelongflightofstairsandspringintoanemptycarriage。NevershallIforgetthatjourney。Thetrainstoppedateverysinglestation,andsometimesinbetween;wewerefivemortalhoursontheroad,andmorethanonceIthoughtDerrickwouldhavefainted。However,hewasnotofthefaintingorder,heonlygrewmoreandmoreghastlyincolourandrigidinexpression。
Ifeltveryanxiousabouthim,fortheshockandthesuddenangerfollowingonthetroubleaboutFredaseemedtomeenoughtounhingeevenalesssensitivenature。’AtStrife’wasthenovelwhichhad,Ifirmlybelieve,kepthimalivethroughthatawfultimeatBenRhydding,andIbegantofearthattheMajor’sfitofdrunkenmalicemightprovethedestructionoftheauthoraswellasofthebook。
Everythinghad,asitwere,comeatonceonpoorDerrick;yetI
don’tknowthathefaredworsethanotherpeopleinthisrespect。
Life,unfortunately,isformostofusnowell—arrangedstorywithahappytermination;itisachequeredaffairofshadeandsun,andforonebeamoflighttherecomeveryoftenwidepatchesofshadow。
MenseemtohaveknownthissofarbackasShakespeare’stime,andtohaveobservedthatonewoetrodonanother’sheels,tohavebattlednotwithasinglewave,butwitha’seaoftroubles,’andtohaveremarkedthat’sorrowscomenotsingly,butinbattalions。’
However,owingIbelievechieflytohisownself—command,andtohisuntiringfacultyfortakinginfinitepainsoverhiswork,Derrickdidnotbreakdown,butpleasantlycheatedmyexpectations。Iwasnotcalledontonursehimthroughafever,andconsumptiondidnotmarkhimforherown。Infact,inthematterofillness,hewasalwaysamostprosaic,unromanticfellow,andneverindulgedinanyoftheeuphoniousandinterestingailments。Inallhislife,I
believe,heneverwentinforanythingbutthemumps——ofallcomplaintstheleastinteresting——and,maybe,anoccasionalheadache。
However,allthisisadigression。WeatlengthreachedLondon,andDerricktookaroomabovemine,nowandthendisturbingmewithnocturnalpacingsoverthecreakingboards,but,onthewhole,provinghimselfthebestofcompanions。
IfIwrotetillDoomsday,Icouldnevermakeyouunderstandhowtheburningofhisnovelaffectedhim——tothisdayitisasubjectI
instinctivelyavoidwithhim——thoughthere—written’AtStrife’hasbeensuchagrandsuccess。Forhedidre—writethestory,andthatatonce。Hesaidlittle;buttheverynextmorning,inoneofthewindowsofourquietsitting—room,oftenenoughlookingdespairinglyatthegreymonotonyofMontagueStreet,hebeganat’PageI,ChapterI,’andsoworkedpatientlyonformanymonthstore—makeasfarashecouldwhathisdrunkenfatherhadmaliciouslydestroyed。
BeyondtheunburntparagraphabouttheattackonMondisfield,hehadnothingexceptafewhastilyscribbledideasinhisnote—book,andofcoursetheveryelaborateandcarefulhistoricalnoteswhichhehadmadeontheCivilWarduringmanyyearsofreadingandresearch—
—forthisperiodhadalwaysbeenafavouritestudywithhim。
But,asanyauthorwillunderstand,theeffortofre—writingwasimmense,andthis,combinedwithalltheothertroubles,triedDerricktotheutmost。However,hetoiledon,andIhavealwaysthoughtthathisresolute,unyieldingconductwithregardtothatbookprovedwhatamanhewas。
ChapterVIII。
"HowoftFate’ssharpestblowshallleavetheestrong,Withsomere—risenecstacyofsong。"
F。W。H。Myers。
Astheautumnworeon,weheardnowandthenfromoldMackrillthedoctor。HisreportsoftheMajorwereprettyuniform。Derrickusedtohandthemovertomewhenhehadreadthem;but,bytacitconsent,theMajor’snamewasnevermentioned。
Meantime,besidesre—writing’AtStrife,’hewasaccumulatingmaterialforhisnextbookandworkingtoverygoodpurpose。Notaminuteofhisdaywasidle;hereadmuch,sawvariousphasesoflifehithertounknowntohim,studied,observed,gainedexperience,andcontrived,Ibelieve,tothinkverylittleandveryguardedlyofFreda。
But,onChristmasEve,Inoticedachangeinhim——andthatverynighthespoketome。Forsuchanimpressionablefellow,hehadreallyextraordinarytenacity,and,spiteofthecourseofHerbertSpencerthatIhadputhimthrough,heretainedhisunshakenfaithinmanythingswhichtomewereatthattimethemerestlegends。I
rememberverywelltheargumentsweusedtohaveonthevexedquestionof’Free—will,’andbeingmyselfmoreorlessofafatalist,itannoyedmethatInevercouldintheveryslightestdegreeshakehisconvictionsonthatpoint。Moreover,whenI
plaguedhimtoomuchwithHerbertSpencer,hehadawayofretaliating,andwouldfoistuponmehisfavouriteauthors。Hewasneveraworshipperofanyonewriter,butalwayshadatleastadozenprophetsinwhosepraisehewasenthusiastic。
Well,onthisChristmasEve,wehadbeentoseedearoldRavenscroftandhisgrand—daughter,andwewerewalkingbackthroughthequietprecinctsoftheTemple,whenhesaidabruptly:
"IhavedecidedtogobacktoBathto—morrow。"
"Haveyouhadaworseaccount?"Iasked,muchstartledatthissuddenannouncement。
"No,"hereplied,"buttheoneIhadaweekagowasfarfromgoodifyouremember,andIhaveafeelingthatIoughttobethere。"
AtthatmomentweemergedintotheconfusionofFleetStreet;butwhenwehadcrossedtheroadIbegantoremonstratewithhim,andarguedthefollyoftheideaallthewaydownChanceryLane。
However,therewasnoshakinghispurpose;Christmasanditsassociationshadmadehislifeintownnolongerpossibleforhim。
"Imustatanyratetryitagainandseehowitworks,"hesaid。
AndallIcoulddowastopersuadehimtoleavethebulkofhispossessionsinLondon,"incase,"asheremarked,"theMajorwouldnothavehim。"
SothenextdayIwaslefttomyselfagainwithnothingtoremindmeofDerrick’sstaybuthispictureswhichstillhungonthewallofoursitting—room。Imadehimpromisetowriteafull,true,andparticularaccountofhisreturn,abona—fideold—fashionedletter,notthehalf—dozenlinesofthesedegeneratedays;andaboutaweeklaterIreceivedthefollowingbudget:
"DearSydney,——IgotdowntoBathallright,and,thankstoyour’StudyofSociology,’enduredaslow,andcold,anddull,anddepressingjourneywiththethermometerdowntozero,andspiritstocorrespond,withthecountryamonotonouswhite,andtheskyamonotonousgrey,andacompanionwhosmokedthevilesttobaccoyoucanconceive。Theoldplacelooksasbeautifulasever,andtomygreatsatisfactionthehillsroundaboutaregreen。Snow,saveinpictures,isanabomination。MilsomStreetlookedasleep,andGayStreetdecidedlydreary,buttheinhabitantswererousedbymyknock,andtheoldlandladynearlyshookmyhandoff。Myfatherhasanattackofjaundiceandisinamiserablestate。HewasasleepwhenIgothere,andthegoodoldlandlady,thinkingthefrontsitting—roomwouldbefree,hadinvited’company,’i。e。,twoorthreemarrieddaughtersandtheirbelongings;oneofthechildrenbeatsMagnay’s’Carina’astobeauty——heoughttopainther。Happythought,sendhimandprettyMrs。Esperancedownhereonspec。HecanpaintthechildforthenextAcademy,andmeantimeIcouldenjoyhiscompany。Well,allthesegoodfolksbeingjustset—toatroastbeef,Inaturallywouldn’thearofdisturbingthem,andintheendwasobligedtositdowntooandeatatthathourofthedaythehugestdinneryoueversaw——anythingbutvoraciousappetitesoffendedthehostess。Magnay’sfuturemodel,forallitsangelicface,’atetorepletion,’likethefairAmericaninthestory。ThenIwentintomyfather’sroom,andshortlyafterhewokeupandaskedmetogivehimsomeFriedrichshallwater,makingnocommentatallonmyreturn,butjustbehavingasthoughIhadbeenherealltheautumn,sothatIfeltasifthewholeaffairwereadream。Exceptforthisattackofjaundice,hehasbeenmuchasusual,andwhenyounextcomedownyouwillfindussettledintoouroldgroove。ThequietofitafterLondonisextraordinary。ButIbelieveitsuitsthebook,whichgetsonprettyfast。ThisafternoonIwentupLansdowneandrightonpasttheGrandStandtoProspectStile,whichisattheedgeofahighbitoftableland,andlooksoverasplendidstretchofcountry,withtheBristolChannelandtheWelshhillsinthedistance。WhileIwastherethesunmostconsideratelysetingorgeousarray。Youneversawanythinglikeit。ItwasworththejourneyfromLondontoBath,Icanassureyou。TellMagnay,andmayitlurehimdown;alsonamethemodelaforementioned。
"HowistheoldQ。C。andhisprettygrandchild?ThatquaintoldroomoftheirsintheTemplesomehowtookmyfancy,andthechildwasdivine。Doyouremembermyshowingyou,inagloomynarrowstreethere,ajollyoldwatchmakerwhositsinhisshop—windowandisforeverbendingoversickclocksandwatches?Well,he’sstillsittingthere,asifhehadnevermovedsincewesawhimthatSaturdaymonthsago。Imeantostudyhimforaportrait;hissallow,clean—shaved,wrinkledfacehasawholestoryinit。I
believeheismarriedtoaXantippewhothrowscoldwateroverhim,bothliterallyandmetaphorically;butheisaphilosopher——I’llstakemyreputationasanobserveronthat——hejustshrugshissturdyoldshoulders,andgoesonmendingclocksandwatches。Ondarkdaysheworksbyagasjet——andthenRembrandtwouldenjoypaintinghim。Ilookathimwhenevermyworldisparticularlyawry,andfindhimhighlybeneficial。Davisonhasforwardedmeto—daytwolettersfromreadersof’Lynwood。’Thefirstisfromaniratefemalewhotakesmetotaskforthedangeroustendencyofthestory,andinsiststhatIhavedrawnimpossiblecircumstancesandimpossiblecharacters。Thesecondisfromanoldclergyman,whowritesapatheticletterofthanks,andtellsmethatitisalmostwordforwordthestoryofasonofhiswhodiedfiveyearsago。
Query:shallIsendtheiratefemaletheoldman’sletter,andsavemyselfthetroubleofwriting?ButonthewholeIthinknot;itwouldbepearlsbeforeswine。Iwillwritetohermyself。Gladtoseeyouwheneveryoucanrundown。
"Yoursever,"D。V。"
("Neverstruckmebeforewhatpiousinitialsmineare。")
TheveryeveningIreceivedthisletterIhappenedtobediningattheProbyn’s。Asluckwouldhaveit,prettyMissFredawasstayinginthehouse,andshefelltomyshare。Ialwayslikedher,thoughoflateIhadfeltratherangrywithherforbeingcarriedawaybythegeneralstormofadmirationandsweptbyitintoanengagementwithLawrenceVaughan。Shewasaverypleasant,naturalsortoftalker,andshealwaystreatedmeasanoldfriend。Butsheseemedtome,thatnight,alittlelesssatisfiedthanusualwithlife。
Perhapsitwasmerelytheeffectoftheblacklacedresswhichshewore,butIfanciedherpalerandthinner,andsomehowsheseemedalleyes。
"WhereisLawrencenow?"Iasked,aswewentdowntothedining—
room。
"HeisstationedatDover,"shereplied。"Hewasuphereforafewhoursyesterday;hecametosaygood—byetome,forIamgoingtoBathnextMondaywithmyfather,whohasbeenveryrheumaticlately—
—andyouknowBathiscomingintofashionagain,allthedoctorsrecommendit。"
"MajorVaughanisthere,"Isaid,"andhasfoundthewatersverygood,Ibelieve;anyday,attwelveo’clock,youmayseehimgettingoutofhischairandgoingintothePumpRoomonDerrick’sarm。I
oftenwonderwhatoutsidersthinkofthem。Itisn’toften,isit,thatoneseesasonabsolutelygivinguphislifetohisinvalidfather?"
Shelookedalittlestartled。
"IwishLawrencecouldbemorewithMajorVaughan,"shesaid;"forheishisfather’sfavourite。Youseeheissuchagoodtalker,andDerrick——well,heisabsorbedinhisbooks;andthenhehassuchextravagantnotionsaboutwar,hemustbeaveryuncongenialcompaniontothepoorMajor。"
Idevouredturbotinwrathfulsilence。Fredaglancedatme。
"Itistrue,isn’tit,thathehasquitegivenuphislifetowriting,andcaresfornothingelse?"
"Well,hehasdeliberatelysacrificedhisbestchanceofsuccessbyleavingLondonandburyinghimselfintheprovinces,"Ireplieddrily;"andastocaringfornothingbutwriting,whyhenevergetsmorethantwoorthreehoursadayforit。"AndthenIgaveheraminuteaccountofhisdailyroutine。
Shebegantolooktroubled。
"Ihavebeenmisled,"shesaid;"Ihadgainedquiteawrongimpressionofhim。"
"Veryfewpeopleknowanythingatallabouthim,"Isaidwarmly;
"youarenotaloneinthat。"
"Isupposehisnextnovelisfinishednow?"saidFreda;"hetoldmehehadonlyoneortwomorechapterstowritewhenIsawhimafewmonthsagoonhiswayfromBenRhydding。Whatishewritingnow?"
"Heiswritingthatnoveloveragain,"Ireplied。
"Overagain?Whatfearfulwasteoftime!"
"Yes,ithascosthimhundredsofhours’work;itjustshowswhatamanheis,thathehasgonethroughwithitsobravely。"
"Buthowdoyoumean?Didn’titdo?"
Rashly,perhaps,yetIthinkunavoidably,Itoldherthetruth。
"Itwasthebestthinghehadeverwritten,butunfortunatelyitwasdestroyed,burnttoacinder。Thatwasnotverypleasant,wasit,foramanwhonevermakestwocopiesofhiswork?"
"Itwasfrightful!"saidFreda,hereyesdilating。"Ineverheardawordaboutit。DoesLawrenceknow?"
"No,hedoesnot;andperhapsIoughtnottohavetoldyou,butI
wasannoyedatyoursomisunderstandingDerrick。Praynevermentiontheaffair;hewouldwishitkeptperfectlyquiet。"
"Why?"askedFreda,turninghercleareyesfulluponmine。
"Because,"Isaid,loweringmyvoice,"becausehisfatherburntit。"
Shealmostgasped。
"Deliberately?"
"Yes,deliberately,"Ireplied。"Hisillnesshasaffectedhistemper,andheissometimeshardlyresponsibleforhisactions。"
"Oh,Iknewthathewasirritableandhasty,andthatDerrickannoyedhim。Lawrencetoldmethat,longago,"saidFreda。"Butthatheshouldhavedonesuchathingasthat!Itishorrible!
PoorDerrick,howsorryIamforhim。IhopeweshallseesomethingofthematBath。DoyouknowhowtheMajoris?"
"IhadaletterabouthimfromDerrickonlythisevening,"I
replied;"ifyoucaretoseeit,Iwillshowityoulateron。"
Andby—and—by,inthedrawing—room,IputDerrick’sletterintoherhands,andexplainedtoherhowforafewmonthshehadgivenuphislifeatBath,indespair,butnowhadreturned。
"Idon’tthinkLawrencecanunderstandthestateofthings,"shesaidwistfully。"Andyethehasbeendownthere。"
Imadenoreply,andFreda,withasigh,turnedaway。
AmonthlaterIwentdowntoBathandfound,asmyfriendforetold,everythinggoingonintheoldgroove,exceptthatDerrickhimselfhadanodd,strainedlookabouthim,asifhewerefightingafoebeyondhisstrength。Freda’sarrivalatBathhadbeenveryhardonhim,itwasalmostmorethanhecouldendure。SirRichard,blindasabat,ofcourse,toanythingbelowthesurface,madeapointofseeingsomethingofLawrence’sbrother。AndonthedayofmyarrivalDerrickandIhadhardlysetoutforawalk,whenweranacrosstheoldman。
SirRichard,thoughrheumaticinthewrists,wasnimbleoffootandaninveteratewalker。HewasgoingwithhisdaughtertoseeoverBeckford’sTower,andinvitedustoaccompanyhim。Derrick,muchagainstthegrain,Ifancy,hadtotalktoFreda,who,inherwinterfursandclose—fittingvelvethat,lookedmorefascinatingthanever,whiletheoldmandescantedtomeonBathwaters,antiquities,etc。,inalong—windedwaythatlastedallupthehill。Wemadeourwayintothecemeteryandmountedthetowerstairs,thinkingofthepastwhenthisdrearyplacehadbeensogorgeouslyfurnished。HereDerrickcontrivedtogetaheadwithSirRichard,andFredalingeredinasortofalcovewithme。
"Ihavebeensowantingtoseeyou,"shesaid,inanagitatedvoice。
"Oh,Mr。Wharncliffe,isittruewhatIhaveheardabouttheMajor?
Doeshedrink?"
"Whotoldyou?"Isaid,alittleembarrassed。
"Itwasourlandlady,"saidFreda;"sheisthedaughteroftheMajor’slandlady。AndyoushouldhearwhatshesaysofDerrick!
Why,hemustbeadownrighthero!AllthetimeIhavebeenhalfdespisinghim"——shechokedbackasob——"hehasbeentryingtosavehisfatherfromwhatwascertaindeathtohim——sotheytoldme。Doyouthinkitistrue?"
"Iknowitis,"Irepliedgravely。
"Andabouthisarm——wasthattrue?"
Isignedanassent。
Hergreyeyesgrewmoist。
"Oh,"shecried,"howIhavebeendeceivedandhowlittleLawrenceappreciateshim!IthinkhemustknowthatI’vemisjudgedhim,forheseemssooddandshy,andIdon’tthinkhelikestotalktome。"
Ilookedsearchinglyintohertruthfulgreyeyes,thinkingofpoorDerrick’sunluckylove—story。
"Youdonotunderstandhim,"Isaid;"andperhapsitisbestso。"
Butthewordsandthelookwererash,forallatoncethecolourfloodedherface。Sheturnedquicklyaway,consciousatlastthatthemidsummerdreamofthoseyachtingdayshadtoDerrickbeennodreamatall,butalife—longreality。
IfeltverysorryforFreda,forshewasnotatallthesortofgirlwhowouldgloryinhavingafellowhopelesslyinlovewithher。I
knewthatthediscoveryshehadmadewouldbenothingbutasorrowtoher,andcouldguesshowshewouldreproachherselfforthatinnocentpastfancy,which,tillnow,hadseemedtohersofaintandfar—away——almostassomethingbelongingtoanotherlife。Allatonceweheardtheothersdescending,andsheturnedtomewithsuchafrightened,appealinglook,thatIcouldnotpossiblyhavehelpedgoingtotherescue。IplungedabruptlyintoadiscourseonBeckford,andtoldherhowheusedtokeepdiamondsinatea—cup,andamusedhimselfbyarrangingthemonapieceofvelvet。SirRichardfledfromthesoundofmyprosyvoice,and,needlesstosay,Derrickfollowedhim。Weletthemgetwellinadvanceandthenfollowed,Fredasilentanddistraite,buteverynowandthenaskingaquestionabouttheMajor。
AsforDerrick,evidentlyhewasonguard。HesawagooddealoftheMerrifieldsandwassedulouslyattentivetotheminmanysmallways;butwithFredahewascuriouslyreserved,andifbychancetheydidtalktogether,hetookgoodcaretobringLawrence’snameintotheconversation。Onthewhole,Ibelieveloyaltywashisstrongestcharacteristic,andwantofloyaltyinotherstriedhimmoreseverelythananythingintheworld。
Asthespringworeon,itbecameevidenttoeveryonethattheMajorcouldnotlastlong。Hisson’swatchfulnessandtheenforcedtemperancewhichthedoctorsinsistedonhadprolongedhislifetoacertainextent,butgraduallyhissufferingsincreasedandhisstrengthdiminished。Atlasthekepthisbedaltogether。
WhatDerrickboreatthistimenoonecaneverknow。When,onebrightsunshinySaturday,Iwentdowntoseehowhewasgettingon,Ifoundhimwornandhaggard,tooevidentlypayingthepenaltyofsleeplessnightsandthanklesscare。IwasalittleshockedtohearthatLawrencehadbeensummoned,butwhenIwastakenintothesickroomIrealisedthattheyhaddonewiselytosendforthefavouriteson。
TheMajorwasevidentlydying。
NevercanIforgetthecrueltyandmalevolencewithwhichhisbloodshoteyesrestedonDerrick,orthepatiencewithwhichthedearoldfellowborehisfather’sscathingsarcasms。ItwaswhileI
wassittingbythebedthatthelandladyenteredwithatelegram,whichsheputintoDerrick’shand。
"FromLawrence!"saidthedyingmantriumphantly,"tosaybywhattrainwemayexpecthim。Well?"asDerrickstillreadthemessagetohimself,"can’tyouspeak,youd——didiot?Haveyoulostyourd—
—dtongue?Whatdoeshesay?"
"Iamafraidhecannotbeherejustyet,"saidDerrick,tryingtotonedownthecurtmessage;"itseemshecannotgetleave。"
"Notgetleavetoseehisdyingfather?Whatconfoundednonsense。
Givemethethinghere";andhesnatchedthetelegramfromDerrickandreaditinaquavering,hoarsevoice:
"Impossibletogetaway。Amhopelesslytiedhere。Lovetomyfather。Greatlyregrettohearsuchbadnewsofhim。"
IthinkthatmessagemadetheoldmanrealisetheworthofLawrence’softenexpressedaffectionforhim。Clearlyitwasagreatblowtohim。Hethrewdownthepaperwithoutawordandclosedhiseyes。Forhalfanhourhelaylikethat,andwedidnotdisturbhim。Atlasthelookedup;hisvoicewasfainterandhismannermoregentle。
"Derrick,"hesaid,"IbelieveI’vedoneyouaninjustice;itisyouwhocaredforme,notLawrence,andI’vestruckyournameoutofmywill——haveleftalltohim。Afterall,thoughyouareoneofthoseconfoundednovelists,you’vedonewhatyoucouldforme。Letsomeonefetchasolicitor——I’llalterit——I’llalterit!"
Iinstantlyhurriedouttofetchalawyer,butitwasSaturdayafternoon,theofficeswereclosed,andsometimepassedbeforeI
hadcaughtmyman。Itoldhimaswehastenedbacksomeofthefactsofthecase,andhebroughthiswritingmaterialsintothesickroomandtookdownfromtheMajor’sownlipsthewordswhichwouldhavetheeffectofdividingtheoldman’spossessionsbetweenhistwosons。Dr。Mackrillwasnowpresent;hestoodononesideofthebed,hisfingersonthedyingman’spulse。OntheothersidestoodDerrick,adegreepalerandgraverthanusual,butrevealinglittleofhisrealfeelings。
"Worditasbrieflyasyoucan,"saidthedoctor。
Andthelawyerscribbledawayasthoughforhislife,whiletherestofuswaitedinawretchedhushedstateoftension。Intheroomitselftherewasnosoundsavethescratchingofthepenandthelabouredbreathingoftheoldman;butinthenexthousewecouldhearsomeoneplayingawaltz。Somehowitdidnotseemtomeincongruous,foritwas’Sweethearts,’andthathadbeenthefavouritewaltzofBenRhydding,sothatIalwaysconnecteditwithDerrickandhistrouble,andnowthewordsranginmyears:
"Oh,loveforayear,aweek,aday,Butalas!forthelovethatlovesalway。"
IfithadnotbeenfortheMajor’sreturnfromIndia,IfirmlybelievedthatDerrickandFredawouldbythistimehavebeenbetrothed。Derrickhadtakenalinewhichnecessarilydividedthem,haddonewhathesawtobehisduty;yetwhatweretheresults?HehadlostFreda,hehadlosthisbook,hehaddamagedhischanceofsuccessasawriter,hehadbeenstruckoutofhisfather’swill,andhehadsufferedunspeakably。Hadanythingwhateverbeengained?
TheMajorwasdyingunrepentanttoallappearance,ashardandcynicalanoldworldlingasIeversaw。Theonlysparkofgraceheshowedwasthattardyendeavourtomakeafreshwill。Whatgoodhaditallbeen?Whatgood?
Icouldnotanswerthequestionthen,couldonlycryoutinasortofindignation,"Whatprofitisthereinhisblood?"Butlookingatitnow,IhaveasortofperceptionthattheverylackofapparentprofitablenesswaspartofDerrick’straining,whileif,asInowinclinetothink,thereisahereafterwherethetrainingbegunhereiscontinued,theoldMajorinthehellhemostrichlydeservedwouldhavetheremembranceofhisson’spatienceandconstancyanddevotiontoserveasaguidinglightintheouterdarkness。
Thelawyernolongerwroteatrailroadspeed;hepushedbackhischair,broughtthewilltothebed,andplacedthepeninthetremblingyellowhandoftheinvalid。
"Youmustsignyournamehere,"hesaid,pointingwithhisfinger;
andtheMajorraisedhimselfalittle,andbroughtthepenquaveringlydowntowardsthepaper。WithasortoffascinationI
watchedthefinely—pointedsteelnib;ittrembledforaninstantortwo,thenthependroppedfromtheconvulsedfingers,andwithacryofintolerableanguishtheMajorfellback。
Forsomeminutestherewasapainfulstruggle;presentlywecaughtawordortwobetweenthegroansofthedyingman。
"Toolate!"hegasped,"toolate!"Andthenadreadfulvisionofhorrorsseemedtorisebeforehim,andwithaterrorthatIcanneverforgetheturnedtohissonandclutchedfastholdofhishands:"Derrick!"heshrieked。
Derrickcouldnotspeak,buthebentlowoverthebedasthoughtoscreenthedyingeyesfromthosehorriblevisions,andwithanoddsortofthrillIsawhimembracehisfather。
WhenheraisedhisheadtheterrorhaddiedoutoftheMajor’sface;
allwasover。
ChapterIX。
"Todutyfirm,toconsciencetrue,Howevertriedandpressed,InGod’sclearsighthighworkwedo,Ifwebutdooutbest。"
Lawrencecamedowntothefuneral,andItookgoodcarethatheshouldhearallabouthisfather’slasthours,andImadethesolicitorshowhimtheunsignedwill。Hemadehardlyanycommentonittillwethreewerealonetogether。Thenwithasortofkindlypatronageheturnedtohisbrother——Derrick,itmustberemembered,wastheeldertwin——andsaidpityingly,"Pooroldfellow!itwasratherroughonyouthatthegovernorcouldn’tsignthis;butnevermind,you’llsoon,nodoubt,beearningafortunebyyourbooks;andbesides,whatdoesabachelorwantwithmorethanyou’vealreadyinheritedfromourmother?Whereas,anofficerjustgoingtobemarried,andwiththisconfoundedreputationofherotokeepup,why,Icantellyouitneedseverypennyofit!"
Derricklookedathisbrothersearchingly。Ihonestlybelievethathedidn’tverymuchcareaboutthemoney,butitcuthimtotheheartthatLawrenceshouldtreathimsoshabbily。Thesoulofgenerosityhimself,hecouldnotunderstandhowanyonecouldframeaspeechsoinfernallymean。
"Ofcourse,"Ibrokein,"ifDerricklikedtogotolawhecouldnodoubtgethisrights,therearethreewitnesseswhocanprovewhatwastheMajor’srealwish。"
"Ishallnotgotolaw,"saidDerrick,withadignityofwhichIhadhardlyimaginedhimcapable。"Youspokeofyourmarriage,Lawrence;
isittobesoon?"
"Thisautumn,Ihope,"saidLawrence;"atleast,ifIcanovercomeSirRichard’sridiculousnotionthatagirloughtnottomarrytillshe’stwenty—one。He’samostcrotchetyoldfellow,thatfuturefather—in—lawofmine。"
WhenLawrencehadfirstcomebackfromthewarIhadthoughthimwonderfullyimproved,butalongcourseofspoilingandflatteryhaddonehimaworldofharm。Helikedverymuchtobelionised,andtoseehimnowposingindrawing—rooms,surroundedbyaworshippingthrongofwomen,wasenoughtosickenanysensiblebeing。
AsforDerrick,thoughhecouldnotbeexpectedtofeelhisbereavementintheordinaryway,yethisfather’sdeathhadbeenagreatshocktohim。ItwasarrangedthataftersettlingvariousmattersinBathheshouldgodowntostaywithhissisterforatime,joiningmeinMontagueStreetlateron。WhilehewasawayinBirmingham,however,anextraordinarychangecameintomyhumdrumlife,andwhenherejoinedmeafewweekslater,I——selfishbrute——
wassooverwhelmedwiththetroublethathadbefallenmethatI
thoughtverylittleindeedofhisaffairs。Hetookthisquiteasamatterofcourse,andwhatIshouldhavedonewithouthimIcan’tconceive。However,thisstoryconcernshimandhasnothingtodowithmyextraordinarydilemma;Imerelymentionitasafactwhichbroughtadditionalcaresintohislife。Allthetimehewasdoingwhatcouldbedonetohelpmehewasalsogoingthroughamostbafflingandmiserabletimeamongthepublishers;for’AtStrife,’
unlikeitspredecessor,wasrejectedbyDavisonandbyfiveotherhouses。Thinkofthis,youcomfortablereaders,asyouliebackinyoureasychairsandleisurelyturnthepagesofthatpopularstory。
Thebookwhichrepresentedyearsofstudyandlonghoursofhardworkwasfirstburnttoacinder。Itwasre—writtenwithwhatinfinitepainsandtoilfewcanunderstand。Itwasthensixtimestiedupandcarriedwithanxietyandhopetoapublisher’soffice,onlytore—appearsixtimesinMontagueStreet,anunwelcomevisitor,bringingwithitdepressionanddisappointment。
Derricksaidlittle,butsufferedmuch。However,nothingdauntedhim。Whenitcamebackfromthesixthpublisherhetookittoaseventh,thenreturnedandwroteawaylikeaTrojanathisthirdbook。TheonethingthatneverfailedhimwasthatcuriousconsciousnessthatheHADtowrite;liketheprophetsofold,the’burden’cametohim,andspeakithemust。
Theseventhpublisherwroteasomewhatdubiousletter:thebook,hethought,hadgreatmerit,butunluckilypeoplewereprejudiced,andhistoricalnovelsrarelymetwithsuccess。However,hewaswillingtotakethestory,andofferedhalfprofits,candidlyadmittingthathehadnogreathopesofalargesale。Derrickinstantlyclosedwiththisoffer,proofscamein,thebookappeared,waswellreceivedlikeitspredecessor,fellintothehandsofoneoftheleadersofSociety,and,totheintensesurpriseofthepublisher,provedtobethenoveloftheyear。Speedilyasecondeditionwascalledfor;then,afterabriefinterval,athirdedition——thistimearationalone—volumeaffair;andthewholelot——6,000Ibelieve——
wentoffonthedayofpublication。Derrickwasamazed;butheenjoyedhissuccessveryheartily,andIthinknoonecouldsaythathehadleaptintofameatabound。
Havingdevoured’AtStrife,’peoplebegantodiscoverthemeritsof’Lynwood’sHeritage;’thelibrarieswerebesiegedforit,andacheapeditionwashastilypublished,andanotherandanother,tillthebook,whichatfirsthadbeensuchadeadfailure,rivalled’AtStrife。’Trulyanauthor’scareerisacuriousthing;andpreciselywhythefirstbookfailed,andthesecondsucceeded,noonecouldexplain。
ItamusedmeverymuchtoseeDerrickturnedintoalion——hewassoessentiallyun—lion—like。Peoplewereforeveraskinghimhowheworked,andIrememberaveryprettygirlsettinguponhimonceatadinner—partywiththeembarrassingrequest:
"Now,dotellme,Mr。Vaughan,howdoyouwritestories?Iwishyouwouldgivemeagoodreceiptforanovel。"
Derrickhesitateduneasilyforaminute;finally,withahumoroussmile,hesaid:
"Well,Ican’texactlytellyou,because,moreorless,novelsgrow;
butifyouwantareceipt,youmightperhapstryafterthisfashion:——Conceiveyourhero,addasprinklingoffriendsandrelatives,flavourwithwhateversceneryorlocalcolouryouplease,carefullyconsiderwhatcircumstancesaremostlikelytodevelopyourmanintothebestheiscapableof,allowthewholetosimmerinyourbrainaslongasyoucan,andthenserve,whilehot,withinkuponwhiteorbluefoolscap,accordingtotaste。"
Theyoungladyapplaudedthereceipt,butshesighedalittle,andprobablyrelinquishedallhopeofconcoctinganovelherself;onthewhole,itseemedtoinvolveincessanttakingoftrouble。
AboutthistimeIremember,too,anotherlittlescene,whichI
enjoyedamazingly。IlaughnowwhenIthinkofit。Ihappenedtobeatahugeeveningcrush,andrathertomysurprise,cameacrossLawrenceVaughan。Weweretalkingtogether,whenupcameConningtonoftheForeignOffice。"Isay,Vaughan,"hesaid,"LordRemingtonwishestobeintroducedtoyou。"IwatchedtheoldstatesmanalittlecuriouslyashegreetedLawrence,andlistenedtohisfirstwords:"Verygladtomakeyouracquaintance,CaptainVaughan;I
understandthattheauthorofthatgrandnovel,’AtStrife,’isabrotherofyours。"AndpoorLawrencespentamauvaisquartd’heure,inwardlyfuming,Iknow,attheideathathe,theheroofSaspatarasHill,shouldbeconsideredmerelyas’thebrotherofVaughan,thenovelist。’
Fate,orperhapsIshouldsaytheeffectofhisownperniciousactions,didnotdealkindlyjustnowwithLawrence。SomehowFredalearntaboutthatwill,and,beingnobread—and—buttermiss,contentmeeklytoadoreherfianceanddeemhimfaultless,she’upandspake’onthesubject,andIfancypoorLawrencemusthavehadanothermauvaisquartd’heure。Itwasnotthis,however,whichledtoafinalbreachbetweenthem;itwassomethingwhichSirRicharddiscoveredwithregardtoLawrence’slifeatDover。Theengagementwasinstantlybrokenoff,andFreda,Iamsure,feltnothingbutrelief。Shewentabroadforsometime,however,andwedidnotseehertilllongafterLawrencehadbeencomfortablymarriedto1,500
poundsayearandamiddle—agedwidow,whohadlongbeenahero—
worshipper,andwho,Iamtold,neverallowedanyvisitortoleavethehousewithoutmakingsomeallusiontothememorablebattleofSaspatarasHillandherLawrence’sgallantaction。
ForthetwoyearsfollowingaftertheMajor’sdeath,DerrickandI,asImentionedbefore,sharedtheroomsinMontagueStreet。Forme,owingtothetroubleIspokeof,theywereyearsofmaddeningsuspenseandpain;butwhatpleasureIdidmanagetoenjoycameentirelythroughthesuccessofmyfriend’sbooksandfromhiscompanionship。ItwasoddthatfromthecareofhisfatherheshouldimmediatelypassontothecareofonewhohadmadesuchadisastrousmistakeasIhadmade。ButIfeelthelesscompunctionatthethoughtoftheamountofsympathyIcalledforatthattime,becauseInoticethatthegivingofsympathyisanecessityforDerrick,andthatwhenthetroublesofotherfolkdonotimmediatelythrustthemselvesintohislifehecarefullyhuntsthemup。DuringthesetwoyearshewasreadingfortheBar——notthatheeverexpectedtodoverymuchasabarrister,buthethoughtitwelltohavesomethingtofallbackon,anddeclaredthatthedrudgeryofthereadingwoulddohimgood。Hewasalsowritingasusual,andheusedtospendtwoeveningsaweekatWhitechapel,wherehetaughtoneoftheclassesinconnectionwithToynbeeHall,andwherehegainedthatknowledgeofEast—endlifewhichisconspicuousinhisthirdbook——’DickCarew。’This,withaneverincreasingandoftenveryburdensomecorrespondence,broughttohimbyhisbooks,andwithafairshareofdinners,’AtHomes,’andsoforth,madehislifeafullone。InaquietsortofwayIbelievehewashappyduringthistime。Butlateron,when,mytroubleatanend,Ihadmigratedtoahouseofmyown,andhewasleftaloneintheMontagueStreetrooms,hisspiritssomehowflagged。
Fameis,afterall,ahollow,unsatisfyingthingtoamanofhisnature。Heheartilyenjoyedhissuccess,hedelightedinhearingthathisbookshadgivenpleasureorhadbeenofusetoanyone,butnopublicvictorycouldintheleastmakeuptohimforthelosshehadsufferedinhisprivatelife;indeed,Ialmostthinkthereweretimeswhenhistriumphsasanauthorseemedtohimutterlyworthless——daysofdepressionwhenthecongratulationsofhisfriendswerenothingbutamockery。Hehadgainedastrikingsuccess,itistrue,buthehadlostFreda;hewasinthepositionofthestarvingmanwhohasreceivedagiftofbon—bons,butsocravesforbreadthattheyhalfsickenhim。Iusednowandthentowatchhisfacewhen,asoftenhappened,someonesaid:"Whatanenviablefellowyouare,Vaughan,togetonlikethis!"or,"Whatwouldn’tIgivetochangeplaceswithyou!"Hewouldinvariablysmileandturntheconversation;buttherewasalookinhiseyesatsuchtimesthatIhatedtosee——italwaysmademethinkofMrs。
Browning’spoem,’TheMask’:
"Behindnoprison—grate,shesaid,Whichslursthesunshinehalfamile,LivecaptivessouncomfortedAssoulsbehindasmile。"
AstotheMerrifields,therewasnochanceofseeingthem,forSirRichardhadgonetoIndiainsomeofficialcapacity,andnodoubt,aseveryonesaid,theywouldtakegoodcaretomarryFredaoutthere。DerrickhadnotseenhersincethattryingFebruaryatBath,longago。YetIfancyshewasneveroutofhisthoughts。
Andsotheyearsrolledon,andDerrickworkedawaysteadily,givinghisbookstotheworld,acceptingthecomfortsanddiscomfortsofanauthor’slife,laughingattheoutrageousreportsthatwereincirculationabouthim,yetoccasionally,Ithink,inwardlywincingatthem,andlearningfromthenumberofbeggingletterswhichhereceived,andintowhichheusuallycausedsearchinginquirytobemade,thatthereareintheworldavastnumberofundeservingpoor。
OnedayIhappenedtomeetLadyProbynatagarden—party;itwasatthesamehouseonCampdenHillwhereIhadoncemetFreda,andperhapsitwastherecollectionofthiswhichpromptedmetoenquireafterher。
"Shehasnotbeenwell,"saidLadyProbyn,"andtheyaresendingherbacktoEngland;theclimatedoesn’tsuither。Sheistomakeherhomewithusforthepresent,soIamthegainer。Fredahasalwaysbeenmyfavouriteniece。Idon’tknowwhatitisaboutherthatissotaking;sheisnothalfsoprettyastheothers。"
"Butsomuchmorecharming,"Isaid。"IwondershehasnotmarriedoutinIndia,aseveryoneprophesied。"
"AndsodoI,"saidheraunt。"However,poorchild,nodoubt,afterhavingbeentwoyearsengagedtothatverydisappointingheroofSaspatarasHill,shewillbeshyofventuringtotrustanyoneagain。"
"Doyouthinkthataffaireverwentverydeep?"Iventuredtoask。
"Itseemedtomethatshelookedmiserableduringherengagement,andhappywhenitwasbrokenoff。"
"Quiteso,"saidLadyProbyn;"Inoticedthesamething。Itwasnothingbutamistake。Theywerenotintheleastsuitedtoeachother。By—the—by,IhearthatDerrickVaughanismarried。"
"Derrick?"Iexclaimed;"oh,no,thatisamistake。Itismerelyoneofthehundredandonereportsthatareforeverbeingsetafloatabouthim。"
"ButIsawitinapaper,Iassureyou,"saidLadyProbyn,bynomeansconvinced。
"Ah,thatmayverywellbe;theywerehardupforaparagraph,nodoubt,andinsertedit。But,asforDerrick,why,howshouldhemarry?HehasbeenmadlyinlovewithMissMerrifieldeversinceourcruiseintheAurora。"
LadyProbynmadeaninarticulateexclamation。
"Poorfellow!"shesaid,afteraminute’sthought;"thatexplainsmuchtome。"
Shedidnotexplainherratherambiguousremark,andbeforelongourtete—a—tetewasinterrupted。
Nowthatmyfriendwasafull—fledgedbarrister,heandIsharedchambers,andonemorningaboutamonthafterthisgardenparty,DerrickcameinwithafaceofsuchradianthappinessthatI
couldn’timaginewhatgoodluckhadbefallenhim。
"Whatdoyouthink?"heexclaimed;"here’saninvitationforacruiseintheAuroraattheendofAugust——tobenearlythesamepartythatwehadyearsago,"andhethrewdowntheletterformetoread。
Ofcoursetherewasspecialmentionof"myniece,MissMerrifield,whohasjustreturnedfromIndia,andisorderedplentyofsea—air。"
Icouldhavetoldthatwithoutreadingtheletter,foritwaswrittenquiteclearlyinDerrick’sface。Helookedtenyearsyounger,andifanyofhisadoringreaderscouldhaveseentheprankshewasuptothatmorninginourstaidandrespectablechambers,Iamafraidtheywouldnolongerhavespokenofhim"with’batedbreathandwhisperinghumbleness。"
Asithappened,I,too,wasabletoleavehomeforafortnightattheendofAugust;andsoourpartyintheAurorareallywasthesame,exceptthatwewereallseveralyearsolder,andletushopewiser,thanonthepreviousoccasion。Consideringallthathadintervened,IwassurprisedthatDerrickwasnotmorealtered;asforFreda,shewasdecidedlypalerthanwhenwefirstmether,butbeforelongsea—airandhappinesswroughtawonderfultransformationinher。
Inspiteofthepessimistswhoareforeverwritingbooks,evenwritingnovels(moreshametothem),toprovethatthereisnosuchthingashappinessintheworld,wemanagedeveryoneofusheartilytoenjoyourcruise。Itseemedindeedtruethat:
"Greenleavesandblossoms,andsunnywarmweather,Andsingingandlovingallcomebacktogether。"
Something,atanyrate,oftheglamourofthosepastdayscamebacktousall,Ifancy,aswelaughedanddozedandidledandtalkedbeneaththesnowywingsoftheAurora,andIcannotsayIwasintheleastsurprisedwhen,onroamingthroughthepleasantgardenwalksinthatuniquelittleislandofTresco,IcameoncemoreuponDerrickandFreda,with,ifyouwillbelieveit,anotherhandfulofwhiteheathergiventothembythatdiscerninggardener!Fredaoncemoreremindedmeofthegirlinthe’BiglowPapers,’andDerrick’sfacewasfullofsuchblissasoneseldomsees。
Hehadalwayshadtowaitforhisgoodthings,butintheendtheycametohim。However,youmaydependuponit,hedidn’tsaymuch。
Thatwasneverhisway。Heonlygrippedmyhand,and,withhiseyesallaglowwithhappiness,exclaimed"Congratulateme,oldfellow!"