Thisgreatlyannoyedhim，andrecollectingthathewasnotaquatic，hestoppedandshoutedacrossthewaves’tumultousroar：
"Takemynameoffthepassengerlist。"
Backtohimoverthewaters，hollowandheartless，likelaughterinatomb，rangthevoiceoftheSkipper：
"’Tain’ton!"
Andthere，inthefocusofamillionpairsofconvergenteyes，theAmbitiousPersonsathimdownbetweenthesunandmoonandmurmuredsadlytohisownsoul：
"Marooned，bythunder!"
CongressandthePeopleSUCCESSIVECongresseshavinggreatlyimpoverishedthePeople，theywerediscouragedandweptcopiously。
"Whydoyouweep？"inquiredanAngelwhohadpercheduponafencenearby。
"Theyhavetakenallwehave，"repliedthePeople—"excepting，"
theyadded，notingthesuggestivevisitant—"exceptingourhopeinheaven。ThankGod，theycannotdepriveusofthat!"
ButatlastcametheCongressof1889。
TheJusticeandHisAccuserANeminentJusticeoftheSupremeCourtofPatagascarwasaccusedofhavingobtainedhisappointmentbyfraud。
"Youwander，"hesaidtotheAccuser；"itisoflittleimportancehowIobtainedmypower；itisonlyimportanthowIhaveusedit。"
"Iconfess，"saidtheAccuser，"thatincomparisonwiththerascallywayinwhichyouhaveconductedyourselfontheBench，therascallywayinwhichyougottheredoesseemratheratrifle。"
TheHighwaymanandtheTravellerAHIGHWAYMANconfrontedaTraveller，andcoveringhimwithafirearm，shouted："Yourmoneyoryourlife!"
"Mygoodfriend，"saidtheTraveller，"accordingtothetermsofyourdemandmymoneywillsavemylife，mylifemymoney；youimplyyouwilltakeoneortheother，butnotboth。Ifthatiswhatyoumean，pleasebegoodenoughtotakemylife。"
"ThatisnotwhatImean，"saidtheHighwayman；"youcannotsaveyourmoneybygivingupyourlife。"
"Thentakeit，anyhow，"theTravellersaid。"Ifitwillnotsavemymoney，itisgoodfornothing。"
TheHighwaymanwassopleasedwiththeTraveller’sphilosophyandwitthathetookhimintopartnership，andthissplendidcombinationoftalentstartedanewspaper。
ThePolicemanandtheCitizenAPOLICEMAN，findingamanthathadfalleninafit，said，"Thismanisdrunk，"andbeganbeatinghimontheheadwithhisclub。A
passingCitizensaid：
"Whydoyoumurderamanthatisalreadyharmless？"
ThereuponthePolicemanleftthemaninafitandattackedtheCitizen，who，afterreceivingseveralseverecontusions，ranaway。
"Alas，"saidthePoliceman，"whydidInotattackthesoberonebeforeexhaustingmyselfupontheother？"
Thenceforwardhepursuedthatplan，andbyzealanddiligencerosetobeChief，andsobrietyisunknownintheregionsubjecttohissway。
TheWriterandtheTrampsANAmbitiousWriter，distinguishedfortheconditionofhislinen，wastravellingthehighroadtofame，whenhemetaTramp。
"Whatisthematterwithyourshirt？"inquiredtheTramp。
"Itbearsthemarksofthatsuperbunconcernwhichisthecharacteristicofgenius，"repliedtheAmbitiousWriter，contemptuouslypassinghimby。
Restingbythewaysidealittlelater，theTrampcarveduponthesmoothbarkofabirch—treethewords，"JohnGump，ChampionGenius。"
TwoPoliticiansTwoPoliticianswereexchangingideasregardingtherewardsforpublicservice。
"TherewardwhichImostdesire，"saidtheFirstPolitician，"isthegratitudeofmyfellow—citizens。"
"Thatwouldbeverygratifying，nodoubt，"saidtheSecondPolitician，"but，alas!inordertoobtainitonehastoretirefrompolitics。"
Foraninstanttheygazeduponeachotherwithinexpressibletenderness；thentheFirstPoliticianmurmured，"God’swillbedone!Sincewecannothopeforreward，letusbecontentwithwhatwehave。"
Andliftingtheirrighthandsfromthepublictreasurytheysworetobecontent。
TheFugitiveOfficeATRAVELLERarrivingatthecapitolofthenationsawavastplainoutsidethewall，filledwithstrugglingandshoutingmen。WhilehelookeduponthealarmingspectacleanOfficebrokeawayfromtheThrongandtookshelterinatombclosetowherehestood，thecrowdbeingtoointentuponhammeringoneanothertoobservethatthecauseoftheircontentionhaddeparted。
"Poorbruisedandbleedingcreature，"saidthecompassionateTraveller，"whatmisfortunecausedyoutobesofarawayfromthesourceofpower？"
"I’soughttheman，’"saidtheOffice。
TheTyrantFrogASNAKEswallowingafroghead—firstwasapproachedbyaNaturalistwithastick。
"Ah，mydeliverer，"saidtheSnakeaswellashecould，"youhavearrivedjustintime；thisreptile，yousee，ispitchingintomewithoutprovocation。"
"Sir，"repliedtheNaturalist，"Ineedasnakeskinformycollection，butifyouhadnotexplainedIshouldnothaveinterruptedyou，forIthoughtyouwereatdinner。"
TheEligibleSon—in—LawATRULYPiousPersonwhoconductedasavingsbankandlentmoneytohissistersandhiscousinsandhisauntsofbothsexes，wasapproachedbyaTatterdemalion，whoappliedforaloanofonehundredthousanddollars。
"Whatsecurityhaveyoutooffer？"askedtheTrulyPiousPerson。
"Thebestintheworld，"theapplicantreplied，confidentially；"I
amabouttobecomeyourson—in—law。"
"Thatwouldindeedbegilt—edged，"saidthebanker，gravely；"butwhatclaimhaveyoutothehandofmydaughter？"
"Onethatcannotbelightlydenied，"saidtheTatterdemalion。"I
amabouttobecomeworthonehundredthousanddollars。"
Unabletodetectaweakpointinthisschemeofmutualadvantage，thefinanciergavethepromoterindisguiseanorderforthemoney，andwroteanotetohiswifedirectinghertocountoutthegirl。
TheStatesmanandtheHorseASTATESMANwhohadsavedhiscountrywasreturningfromWashingtononfoot，whenhemetaRaceHorsegoingatfullspeed，andstoppedit。
"Turnaboutandtraveltheotherway，"saidtheStatesman，"andI
willkeepyoucompanyasfarasmyhome。Theadvantagesoftravellingtogetherareobvious。"
"Icannotdothat，"saidtheRaceHorse；"IamfollowingmymastertoWashington。Ididnotgofastenoughtosuithim，andhehasgoneonahead。"
"Whoisyourmaster？"inquiredtheStatesman。
"HeistheStatesmanwhosavedhiscountry，"answeredtheRaceHorse。
"Thereappearstobesomemistake，"theothersaid。"Whydidhewishtotravelsofast？"
"Soastobethereintimetogetthecountrythathesaved。"
"Iguesshegotit，"saidtheother，andlimpedalong，sighing。
AnAErophobeACELEBRATEDDivinehavingaffirmedthefallibilityoftheBible，wasaskedwhy，then，hepreachedthereligionfoundeduponit。
"Ifitisfallible，"hereplied，"thereisthegreaterreasonthatIexplainit，lestitmislead。"
"ThenamItoinfer，"saidhisQuestioner，"thatYOUarenotfallible？"
"YouaretoinferthatIamnotpneumophagous。"
TheThriftofStrengthAWEAKMangoingdown—hillmetaStrongMangoingup，andsaid：
"Itakethisdirectionbecauseitrequireslessexertion，notfromchoice。Iprayyou，sir，assistmetoregainthesummit。"
"Gladly，"saidtheStrongMan，hisfaceilluminatedwiththegloryofhisthought。"Ihavealwaysconsideredmystrengthasacredgiftintrustformyfellow—men。Iwilltakeyoualongwithme。
Justgetbehindmeandpush。"
TheGoodGovernment"WHATahappylandyouare!"saidaRepublicanFormofGovernmenttoaSovereignState。"BegoodenoughtoliestillwhileIwalkuponyou，singingthepraisesofuniversalsuffrageanddescantingupontheblessingsofcivilandreligiousliberty。Inthemeantimeyoucanrelieveyourfeelingsbycursingtheone—manpowerandtheeffetemonarchiesofEurope。"
"Mypublicservantshavebeenfoolsandroguesfromthedateofyouraccessiontopower，"repliedtheState；"mylegislativebodies，bothStateandmunicipal，arebandsofthieves；mytaxesareinsupportable；mycourtsarecorrupt；mycitiesareadisgracetocivilisation；mycorporationshavetheirhandsatthethroatsofeveryprivateinterest—allmyaffairsareindisorderandcriminalconfusion。"
"Thatisallverytrue，"saidtheRepublicanFormofGovernment，puttingonitshobnailshoes；"butconsiderhowIthrillyoueveryFourthofJuly。"
TheLifeSaverANAncientMaiden，standingontheedgeofawharfnearaModernSwain，wasoverheardrehearsingthewords：
"Noblepreserver!Thelifethatyouhavesavedisyours!"
Havingrepeatedthemseveraltimeswithvariousintonations，shesprangintothewater，whereshewassufferedtodrown。
"Iamanoblepreserver，"saidtheModernSwain，thoughtfullymovingaway；"thelifethatIhavesavedisindeedmine。"
TheManandtheBirdAMANwithaShotgunsaidtoaBird：
"Itisallnonsense，youknow，aboutshootingbeingacruelsport。
Iputmyskillagainstyourcunning—thatisallthereisofit。Itisafairgame。"
"True，"saidtheBird，"butIdon’twishtoplay。"
"Whynot？"inquiredtheManwithaShotgun。
"Thegame，"theBirdreplied，"isfairasyousay；thechancesareabouteven；butconsiderthestake。Iaminitforyou，butwhatisthereinitforme？"
Notbeingpreparedwithananswertothequestion，theManwithaShotgunsagaciouslyremovedthepropounder。
FromtheMinutesANOratorafflictedwithatrophyoftheorganofcommon—senseroseinhisplaceinthehallsoflegislationandpointedwithpridetohisUnblottedEscutcheon。Seeingwhatitsupposedtobethefingerofscornpointedatit，theUnblottedEscutcheonturnedblackwithrage。SeeingtheUnblottedEscutcheonturningblackwithwhathesupposedtobetherecordofhisownmisdeedsshowingthroughthewhitewash，theOratorfelldeadofmortification。SeeingtheOratorfalldeadofwhattheysupposedtobeatrophyoftheorganofcommon—sense，hiscolleaguesresolvedthatwhenevertheyshouldadjournbecausetheyweretired，itshouldbeoutofrespecttothememoryofhimwhohadsofrequentlymadethemso。
ThreeofaKindALAWYERinwhomaninstinctofjusticehadsurvivedthewreckofhisignoranceoflawwasretainedforthedefenceofaburglarwhomthepolicehadtakenafteradesperatestrugglewithsomeonenotincustody。InconsultationwithhisclienttheLawyerasked，"Haveyouaccomplices？"
"Yes，sir，"repliedtheBurglar。"Ihavetwo，butneitherhasbeentaken。Ihiredonetodefendmeagainstcapture，youtodefendmeagainstconviction。"
ThisanswerdeeplyimpressedtheLawyer，andhavingascertainedthattheBurglarhadaccumulatednomoneyinhisprofessionhethrewupthecase。
TheFabulistandtheAnimalsAWISEandillustriousWriterofFableswasvisitingatravellingmenageriewithaviewtocollectingliterarymaterials。AshewaspassingneartheElephant，thatanimalsaid：
"Howsadthatsojustlyfamousasatiristshouldmarhisworkbyridiculeofpeoplewithlongnoses—whoarethesaltoftheearth!"
TheKangaroosaid：
"Idosoenjoythatgreatman’scensureoftheridiculous—
particularlyhisattacksontheProboscidae；but，alas!hehasnoreverencefortheMarsupials，andlaughsatourwayofcarryingouryounginapouch。"
TheCamelsaid：
"IfhewouldonlyrespectthesacredHump，hewouldbefaultless。
Asitis，Icannotpermithisfablestobereadinthepresenceofmyfamily。"
TheOstrich，seeinghisapproach，thrustherheadinthestraw，saying：
"IfIdonotconcealmyself，hemayberemindedtowritesomethingdisagreeableaboutmylackofacrestormyappetiteforscrap—
iron；andalthoughheisinexpressiblybrilliantwhenhedevoteshimselftocensureoffollyandgreed，hisdulnessismatchlesswhenhetranscendsthelimitsoflegitimatecomment。"
"That，’saidtheBuzzardtohismate，"isthedistinguishedauthorofthatgloriousfable，’TheOstrichandtheKegofRawNails。’I
regrettoadd，thathewrote，also，’TheBuzzard’sFeast，’inwhichacarriondietiscontumeliouslydisparaged。Acarriondietisthefoundationofsoundhealth。Ifnothingelsebutcorpseswereeaten，deathwouldbeunknown。"
Seeinganattendantapproaching，thewiseandillustriousWriterofFablespassedoutofthetentandmingledwiththecrowd。Itwasafterwarddiscoveredthathehadcreptinunderthecanvaswithoutpaying。
ARevivalistRevivedAREVIVALISTwhohadfallendeadinthepulpitfromtooviolentreligiousexercisewasastonishedtowakeupinHades。HepromptlysentfortheAdversaryofSoulsanddemandedhisfreedom，explainingthathewasentirelyorthodox，andhadalwaysledapiousandholylife。
"Thatisallverytrue，"saidtheAdversary，"butyoutaughtbyexamplethataverbshouldnotagreewithitssubjectinpersonandnumber，whereastheGoodBooksaysthatcontentionisworsethanadinnerofherbs。Youalsotriedtoreleasetheobjectivecasefromitsthraldomtothepreposition，anditiswrittenthatservantsshouldobeytheirmasters。Youstayrighthere。"
TheDebatersAHURLED—BACKAllegation，which，afterabriefrest，hadagainstartedforthuponitsmissionofmischief，metanInk—standinmid—air。
"HowdidtheHonourableMemberwhomyourepresentknowthatIwascomingagain？"inquiredtheHurled—backAllegation。
"Hedidnot，"theInkstandreplied；"heisn’tatallforehandedatrepartee。"
"Why，then，doyoucome，thingsbeingevenwhenhehadhurledmeback？"
"Hewantedtobealittleahead。"
TwoofthePiousACHRISTIANandaHeatheninHisBlindnessweredisputing，whentheChristian，withthatcharmingconsiderationwhichservestodistinguishthetrulypiousfromthewolvesthatperish，exclaimed：
"IfIcouldhavemyway，I’dblowupallyourgodswithdynamite。"
"AndifIcouldhavemine，"retortedtheHeatheninHisBlindness，bitterlymalevolentbutoleaginuouslysuave，"I’dfanallyoursoutoftheuniverse。"
TheDesperateObjectADISHONESTGainwasdrivinginitsluxuriouscarriagethroughitsprivatepark，whenitsawsomethingwhichfranticallyandrepeatedlyranagainstastonewall，endeavouringtobuttoutitsbrains。
"Hold!Hold!thoudesperateObject，"criedtheDishonestGain；
"thesebeautifulprivategroundsarenoplaceforsuchworkasthine。"
"True，"saidtheObject，pausing；"Ihaveotherandbettergroundsforit。"
"Thenthouartahappyman，"saidtheDishonestGain，"andthybleedingheadisbutmeredissembling。Whoartthou，greatactor？"
"Iamknown，"saidtheObject，dashingitselfagainatthewall，"astheConsciousnessofDutyWellPerformed。"
TheAppropriateMemorialAHIGHPublicFunctionaryhavingdied，thecitizensofhistownheldameetingtoconsiderhowtohonourhismemory，andanOtherHighPublicFunctionaryroseandaddressedthemeeting。
"Mr。ChairmanandGintlemen，"saidtheOther，"itsamestome，andI’mhopin’yezwullapprovethesuggistion，thatanapproprietwaytohonourthemimoryofthedecaisedwouldbetoerectanemolumentsootablyinscribedwidhisvartues。"
ThesoulofthegreatmanlookeddownfromHeavenandwept。
ANeedlessLabourAFTERwaitingmanyawearydaytorevengehimselfuponaLionforsomeunconsideredmanifestationofcontempt，aSkunkfinallysawhimcoming，andpostinghimselfinthepathaheadutteredtheinaudiblediscordofhisrace。ObservingthattheLiongavenoattentiontothematter，theSkunk，keepingcarefullyoutofreach，said：
"Sir，IbegleavetopointoutthatIhavesetonfootanimplacableodour。"
"Mydearfellow，"theLionreplied，"youhavetakenaneedlesstrouble；IalreadyknewthatyouwereaSkunk。"
AFlourishingIndustry"AREtheindustriesofthiscountryinaflourishingcondition？"
askedaTravellerfromaForeignLandofthefirstmanhemetinAmerica。
"Splendid!"saidtheMan。"IhavemoreordersthanIcanfill。"
"Whatisyourbusiness？"theTravellerfromaForeignLandinquired。
TheManreplied，"Imakeboxing—glovesforthetonguesofpugilists。"
TheSelf—MadeMonkeyAMANofhumblebirthandnobreading，whoheldahighpoliticaloffice，waspassingthroughaforest，whenhemetaMonkey。
"Itakeityouareoneofmyconstituents，"theMansaid。
"No，"repliedtheMonkey；"butIwillsupportyouifyoucanurgeavalidclaimtomyapproval。"
"Iamaself—mademan，"saidtheother，proudly。
"Thatisnothing，"theMonkeysaid。Andgoingtoabiggerpine，herosebyhisownunaidedexertionstothetopbranch，wherehesat，allbedaubedwiththepitchwhichthatvegetableexudes。"Now，"headded，"Iamaself—madeMonkey。"
ThePatriotandtheBankerAPATRIOTwhohadtakenofficepoorandretiredrichwasintroducedatabankwherehedesiredtoopenanaccount。
"Withpleasure，"saidtheHonestBanker；"weshallbegladtodobusinesswithyou；butfirstyoumustmakeyourselfanhonestmanbyrestoringwhatyoustolefromtheGovernment。"
"Goodheavens!"criedthePatriot；"ifIdothat，Ishallhavenothingtodepositwithyou。"
"Idon’tseethat，"theHonestBankerreplied。"WearenotthewholeAmericanpeople。"
"Ah，Iunderstand，"saidthePatriot，musing。"Atwhatsumdoyouestimatethisbank’sproportionofthecountry’slossbyme？"
"Aboutadollar，"answeredtheHonestBanker。
Andwithaproudconsciousnessofservinghiscountrywiselyandwellhechargedthatsumtotheaccount。
TheMourningBrothersOBSERVINGthathewasabouttodie，anOldMancalledhistwoSonstohisbedsideandexpoundedthesituation。
"Mychildren，"saidhe，"youhavenotshownmemanymarksofrespectduringmylife，butyouwillattestyoursorrowformydeath。Tohimwhothelongerwearsaweeduponhishatinmemoryofmeshallgomyentirefortune。Ihavemadeawilltothateffect。"
SowhentheOldManwasdeadeachoftheyouthsputaweeduponhishatandworeituntilhewashimselfold，when，seeingthatneitherwouldgivein，theyagreedthattheyoungershouldleaveoffhisweedsandtheeldergivehimhalfoftheestate。ButwhentheelderappliedforthepropertyhefoundthattherehadbeenanExecutor!
Thuswerehypocrisyandobstinacyfitlypunished。
TheDisinterestedArbiterTWODogswhohadbeenfightingforabone，withoutadvantagetoeither，referredtheirdisputetoaSheep。TheSheeppatientlyheardtheirstatements，thenflungtheboneintoapond。
"Whydidyoudothat？"saidtheDogs。
"Because，"repliedtheSheep，"Iamavegetarian。"
TheThiefandtheHonestManATHIEFwhohadbroughtasuitagainsthisaccomplicestorecoverhisshareoftheplundertakenfromanHonestMan，demandedtheHonestMan’sattendanceatthetrialtotestifytohisloss。ButtheHonestManexplainedthatashewasmerelytheagentofacompanyofotherhonestmenitwasnoneofhisaffair；andwhentheofficerscametoservehimwithasubpoenahehidhimselfbehindhisbackandwiledawaythedragginghoursofretirementandinactionbypickinghisownpockets。
TheDutifulSonAMILLIONAIREwhohadgonetoanalmshousetovisithisfathermetaNeighbourthere，whowasgreatlysurprised。
"What!"saidtheNeighbour，"youdosometimesvisityourfather？"
"Ifoursituationswerereversed，"saidtheMillionaire，"Iamsurehewouldvisitme。Theoldmanhasalwaysbeenratherproudofme。
Besides，"headded，softly，"Ihadtohavehissignature；Iaminsuringhislife。"
AESOPUSEMENDATUS
TheCatandtheYouthACATfellinlovewithahandsomeYoungMan，andentreatedVenustochangeherintoawoman。
"Ishouldthink，"saidVenus，"youmightmakesotriflingachangewithoutbotheringme。However，beawoman。"
Afterward，wishingtoseeifthechangewerecomplete，Venuscausedamousetoapproach，whereuponthewomanshriekedandmadesuchashowofherselfthattheYoungManwouldnotmarryher。
TheFarmerandHisSonsAFARMERbeingabouttodie，andknowingthatduringhisillnesshisSonshadpermittedthevineyardtobecomeovergrownwithweedswhiletheyimprovedtheshininghourbygamblingwiththedoctor，saidtothem：
"Myboys，thereisagreattreasureburiedinthevineyard。Youdiginthegrounduntilyoufindit。"
SotheSonsdugupalltheweeds，andallthevinestoo，andevenneglectedtoburytheoldman。
JupiterandtheBabyShowJUPITERheldababyshow，opentoallanimals，andaMonkeyenteredherhideouscubforaprize，butJupiteronlylaughedather。
"Itisallverywell，"saidtheMonkey，"tolaughatmyoffspring，butyougointoanygalleryofantiquesculptureandlookatthestatuesandbustsofthefellowsthatyoubegotyourself。"
"’Sh!don’texposeme，"saidJupiter，andawardedherthefirstprize。
TheManandtheDogAMANwhohadbeenbittenbyaDogwastoldthatthewoundwouldhealifhewoulddipapieceofbreadinthebloodandgiveittotheDog。Hedidso。
"No，"saidtheDog；"ifIweretoacceptthat，itmightbethoughtthatinbitingyouIwasactuatedbyimpropermotives。"
"Andbywhatmotiveswereyouactuated？"askedtheMan。
"Idesired，"repliedtheDog，"merelytoharmonisemyselfwiththeDivineSchemeofThings。I’machildofNature。"
TheCatandtheBirdsHEARINGthattheBirdsinanaviarywereill，aCatwenttothemandsaidthathewasaphysician，andwouldcurethemiftheywouldlethimin。
"Towhatschoolofmedicinedoyoubelong？"askedtheBirds。
"IamaMiaulopathist，"saidtheCat。
"DidyoueverpractiseGohomoeopathy？"theBirdsinquired，winkingfaintly。
TheCattookthehintandhisleave。
MercuryandtheWoodchopperAWOODCHOPPER，whohaddroppedhisaxeintoadeeppool，besoughtMercurytorecoveritforhim。Thatthoughtlessdeityimmediatelyplungedintothepool，whichbecamesosalivatedthatthetreesaboutitsmarginallcamelooseanddroppedout。
TheFoxandtheGrapesAFOX，seeingsomesourgrapeshangingwithinaninchofhisnose，andbeingunwillingtoadmitthattherewasanythinghewouldnoteat，solemnlydeclaredthattheywereoutofhisreach。
ThePenitentThiefABOYwhohadbeentaughtbyhisMothertostealgrewtobeamanandwasaprofessionalpublicofficial。Onedayhewastakenintheactandcondemnedtodie。WhilegoingtotheplaceofexecutionhepassedhisMotherandsaidtoher：
"Beholdyourwork!Ifyouhadnottaughtmetosteal，Ishouldnothavecometothis。"
"Indeed!"saidtheMother。"Andwho，pray，taughtyoutobedetected？"
TheArcherandtheEagleANEaglemortallywoundedbyanArcherwasgreatlycomfortedtoobservethatthearrowwasfeatheredwithoneofhisownquills。
"Ishouldhavefeltbad，indeed，"hesaid，"tothinkthatanyothereaglehadahandinthis。"
TruthandtheTravellerAMANtravellinginadesertmetaWoman。
"Whoartthou？"askedtheMan，"andwhydostthoudwellinthisdreadfulplace？"
"Myname，"repliedtheWoman，"isTruth；andIliveinthedesertinordertobenearmyworshipperswhentheyaredrivenfromamongtheirfellows。Theyallcome，soonerorlater。"
"Well，"saidtheMan，lookingabout，"thecountrydoesn’tseemtobeverythicklysettledhere。"
TheWolfandtheLambALAMB，pursuedbyaWolf，fledintothetemple。
"Thepriestwillcatchyouandsacrificeyou，"saidtheWolf，"ifyouremainthere。"
"Itisjustaswelltobesacrificedbythepriestastobeeatenbyyou，"saidtheLamb。
"Myfriend，"saidtheWolf，"itpainsmetoseeyouconsideringsogreataquestionfromapurelyselfishpointofview。Itisnotjustaswellforme。"
TheLionandtheBoarALIONandaBoar，whowerefightingforwateratapool，sawsomevultureshoveringsignificantlyabovethem。"Letusmakeupourquarrel，"saidtheBoar，"orthesefellowswillgetoneofus，sure。"
"Ishouldnotsomuchmindthat，"repliedtheLion，"iftheywouldgettherightone。However，Iamwillingtostopfighting，andthenperhapsIcangrabavulture。Ilikechickenbetterthanpork，anyhow。"
TheGrasshopperandtheAntONEdayinwinterahungryGrasshopperappliedtoanAntforsomeofthefoodwhichtheyhadstored。
"Why，"saidtheAnt，"didyounotstoreupsomefoodforyourself，insteadofsingingallthetime？"
"SoIdid，"saidtheGrasshopper；"soIdid；butyoufellowsbrokeinandcarrieditallaway。"
TheFisherandtheFishedAFISHERMANwhohadcaughtaverysmallFishwasputtingitinhisbasketwhenitsaid：
"Iprayyouputmebackintothestream，forIcanbeofnousetoyou；thegodsdonoteatfish。"
"ButIamnogod，"saidtheFisherman。
"True，"saidtheFish，"butassoonasJupiterhasheardofyourexploit，hewillelevateyoutothedeitage。Youaretheonlymanthatevercaughtasmallfish。"
TheFarmerandtheFoxAFARMERwhohadadeadlyandimplacablehatredagainstacertainFox，caughthimandtiedsometowtohistail；thencarryinghimtothecentreofhisowngrain—field，setthetowonfireandlettheanimalgo。
"Alas!"saidtheFarmer，seeingtheresult；"ifthatgrainhadnotbeenheavilyinsured，ImighthavehadtodissemblemyhatredoftheFox。"
DameFortuneandtheTravellerAWEARYTravellerwhohadlaindownandfallenasleeponthebrinkofadeepwellwasdiscoveredbyDameFortune。
"Ifthisfool，"shesaid，"shouldhaveanuneasydreamandrollintothewellmenwouldsaythatIdidit。Itispainfultometobeunjustlyaccused，andIshallseethatIamnot。"
Sosayingsherolledthemanintothewell。
TheVictorandtheVictimTWOGameCocks，havingfoughtabattle，thedefeatedoneskulkedawayandhid，butthevictormountedawallandcrowedlustily。
Thisattractedtheattentionofahawk，whosaid：
"Behold!howpridegoethbeforeafall。"
Soheswoopeddownupontheboastingbirdandwasabouttodestroyhim，whenthevanquishedCockcameoutofhishiding—place，andbetweenthetwotheHawkwascalamitouslydefeated。
TheWolfandtheShepherdsAWOLFpassingaShepherd’shutlookedinandsawtheshepherdsdining。
"Comein，"saidoneofthem，ironically，"andpartakeofyourfavouritedish，ahaunchofmutton。"
"Thankyou，"saidtheWolf，movingaway，"butyoumustexcuseme；I
havejusthadasaddleofshepherd。"
TheGooseandtheSwanACERTAINrichmanrearedaGooseandaSwan，theoneforhistable，theotherbecauseshewasreputedagoodsinger。OnenightwhentheCookwenttokilltheGoosehegotholdoftheSwaninstead。ThereupontheSwan，toinducehimtospareherlife，begantosing；butshesavedhimnothingbutthetroubleofkillingher，forshediedofthesong。
TheLion，theCock，andtheAssALIONwasabouttoattackabrayingAss，whenaCocknearbycrowedshrilly，andtheLionranaway。"Whatfrightenedhim？"theAssasked。
"Lionshaveasuperstitiousterrorofmyvoice，"answeredtheCock，proudly。
"Well，well，well，"saidtheAss，shakinghishead；"Ishouldthinkthatanyanimalthatisafraidofyourvoiceanddoesn’tmindminemusthaveanuncommonkindofear。"
TheSnakeandtheSwallowASWALLOWwhohadbuilthernestinacourtofjusticerearedafinefamilyofyoungbirds。OnedayaSnakecameoutofachinkinthewallandwasabouttoeatthem。TheJustJudgeatonceissuedaninjunction，andmakinganorderfortheirremovaltohisownhouse，atethemhimself。
TheWolvesandtheDogs"WHYshouldtherebestrifebetweenus？"saidtheWolvestotheSheep。"Itisallowingtothosequarrelsomedogs。Dismissthem，andweshallhavepeace。"
"Youseemtothink，"repliedtheSheep，"thatitisaneasythingtodismissdogs。Haveyoualwaysfounditso？"
TheHenandtheVipersAHENwhohadpatientlyhatchedoutabroodofvipers，wasaccostedbyaSwallow，whosaid："Whatafoolyouaretogivelifetocreatureswhowillrewardyoubydestroyingyou。"
"Iamalittlebitonthedestroymyself，"saidtheHen，tranquillyswallowingoneofthelittlereptiles；"anditisnotanactoffollytoprovideoneselfwiththedelicaciesoftheseason。"
ASeasonableJokeASPENDTHRIFT，seeingasingleswallow，pawnedhiscloak，thinkingthatSummerwasathand。Itwas。
TheLionandtheThornALIONroamingthroughtheforest，gotathorninhisfoot，and，meetingaShepherd，askedhimtoremoveit。TheShepherddidso，andtheLion，havingjustsurfeitedhimselfonanothershepherd，wentawaywithoutharminghim。SometimeafterwardtheShepherdwascondemnedonafalseaccusationtobecasttothelionsintheamphitheatre。Whentheywereabouttodevourhim，oneofthemsaid：
"Thisisthemanwhoremovedthethornfrommyfoot。"
Hearingthis，theothershonourablyabstained，andtheclaimantatetheShepherdallhimself。
TheFawnandtheBuckAFAWNsaidtoitsfather："Youarelarger，stronger，andmoreactivethanadog，andyouhavesharphorns。Whydoyourunawaywhenyouhearonebarking？"
"Because，mychild，"repliedtheBuck，"mytemperissouncertainthatifIpermitoneofthosenoisycreaturestocomeintomypresenceIamlikelytoforgetmyselfanddohimaninjury。"
TheKite，thePigeons，andtheHawkSOMEPigeonsexposedtotheattacksofaKiteaskedaHawktodefendthem。Heconsented，andbeingadmittedintothecotewaitedfortheKite，whomhefelluponanddevoured。Whenhewassosurfeitedthathecouldscarcelymove，thegratefulPigeonsscratchedouthiseyes。
TheWolfandtheBabeAFAMISHINGWolf，passingthedoorofacottageintheforest，heardaMothersaytoherbabe：
"Bequiet，orIwillthrowyououtofthewindow，andthewolveswillgetyou。"
Sohewaitedalldaybelowthewindow，growingmorehungryallthetime。ButatnighttheOldMan，havingreturnedfromthevillageclub，threwoutbothMotherandChild。
TheWolfandtheOstrichAWOLF，whoindevouringamanhadchokedhimselfwithabunchofkeys，askedanostrichtoputherheaddownhisthroatandpullthemout，whichshedid。
"Isuppose，"saidtheWolf，"youexpectpaymentforthatservice。"
"Akindact，"repliedtheOstrich，"isitsownreward；Ihaveeatenthekeys。"
TheHerdsmanandtheLionAHERDSMANwhohadlostabullockentreatedthegodstobringhimthethief，andvowedhewouldsacrificeagoattothem。JustthenaLion，hisjawsdrippingwithbullock’sblood，approachedtheHerdsman。
"Ithankyou，gooddeities，"saidtheHerdsman，continuinghisprayer，"forshowingmethethief。Andnowifyouwilltakehimaway，Iwillstandanothergoat。"
TheManandtheViperAMANfindingafrozenViperputitintohisbosom。
"Thecoldnessofthehumanheart，"hesaid，withagrin，"willkeepthecreatureinhispresentconditionuntilIcanreachhomeandrevivehimonthecoals。"
ButthepleasuresofhopesofiredhisheartthattheViperthawed，andslidingtothegroundthankedtheMancivillyforhishospitalityandglidedaway。
TheManandtheEagleANEaglewasoncecapturedbyaMan，whoclippedhiswingsandputhiminthepoultryyard，alongwiththechickens。TheEaglewasmuchdepressedinspiritsbythechange。
"Whyshouldyounotratherrejoice？"saidtheMan。"Youwereonlyanordinaryfellowasaneagle；butasanoldroosteryouareafowlofincomparabledistinction。
TheWar—horseandtheMillerHAVINGheardthattheStatewasabouttobeinvadedbyahostilearmy，aWar—horsebelongingtoaColoneloftheMilitiaofferedhisservicestoapassingMiller。
"No，"saidthepatrioticMiller，"Iwillemploynoonewhodesertshispositioninthehourofdanger。Itissweettodieforone’scountry。"
Somethinginthesentimentsoundedfamiliar，and，lookingattheMillermorecloselytheWar—horserecognisedhismasterindisguise。
TheDogandtheReflectionADOGpassingoverastreamonaplanksawhisreflectioninthewater。
"Youuglybrute!"hecried；"howdareyoulookatmeinthatinsolentway。"
Hemadeagrabinthewater，and，gettingholdofwhathesupposedwastheotherdog’slip，liftedoutafinepieceofmeatwhichabutcher’sboyhaddroppedintothestream。
TheManandtheFish—hornATRUTHFULMan，findingamusicalinstrumentintheroad，askedthenameofit，andwastoldthatitwasafish—horn。Thenexttimehewentfishinghesethisnetsandblewthefish—hornalldaytocharmthefishintothem；butatnightfalltherewerenotonlynofishinhisnets，butnonealongthatpartofthecoast。Meetingafriendwhileonhiswayhomehewasaskedwhatluckhehadhad。
"Well，"saidtheTruthfulMan，"theweatherisnotrightforfishing，butit’sared—letterdayformusic。"
TheHareandtheTortoiseAHAREhavingridiculedtheslowmovementsofaTortoise，waschallengedbythelattertorunarace，aFoxtogotothegoalandbethejudge。Theygotoffwelltogether，thehareatthetopofherspeed，theTortoise，whohadnootherintentionthanmakinghisantagonistexertherself，goingveryleisurely。AftersaunteringalongforsometimehediscoveredtheHarebythewayside，apparentlyasleep，andseeingachancetowinpushedonasfastashecould，arrivingatthegoalhoursafterward，sufferingfromextremefatigueandclaimingthevictory。
"Notso，"saidtheFox；"theHarewasherelongago，andwentbacktocheeryouonyourway。"
HerculesandtheCarterACARTERwasdrivingawaggonloadedwithamerchant’sgoods，whenthewheelsstuckinarut。ThereuponhebegantopraytoHercules，withoutotherexertion。
"Indolentfellow!"saidHercules；"youaskmetohelpyou，butwillnothelpyourself。"
SotheCarterhelpedhimselftosomanyofthemostvaluablegoodsthatthehorseseasilyranawaywiththeremainder。
TheLionandtheBullALIONwishingtolureaBulltoaplacewhereitwouldbesafetoattackhim，said："Myfriend，Ihavekilledafinesheep；willyoucomewithmeandpartakeofthemutton？"
"Withpleasure，"saidtheBull，"assoonasyouhaverefreshedyourselfalittleforthejourney。Prayhavesomegrass。"
TheManandhisGoose"SEEthesevaluablegoldeneggs，"saidaManthatownedaGoose。
"SurelyaGoosewhichcanlaysucheggsasthosemusthaveagoldmineinsideher。"
SohekilledtheGooseandcutheropen，butfoundthatshewasjustlikeanyothergoose。Moreover，onexaminingtheeggsthatshehadlaidhefoundtheywerejustlikeanyothereggs。
TheWolfandtheFeedingGoatAWOLFsawaGoatfeedingatthesummitofarock，wherehecouldnotgetather。
"Whydoyoustayupthereinthatsterileplaceandgohungry？"
saidtheWolf。"DownherewhereIamthebroken—bottlevinecomethupasaflower，thecelluloidcollarblossomsastherose，andthetin—cantreebringsforthafteritskind。"
"Thatistrue，nodoubt，"saidtheGoat，"buthowaboutthecircus—
postercrop？Ihearthatitfailedthisyeardownthere。"
TheWolf，perceivingthathewasbeingchaffed，wentawayandresumedhisdutiesatthedoorsofthepoor。
JupiterandtheBirdsJUPITERcommandedallthebirdstoappearbeforehim，sothathemightchoosethemostbeautifultobetheirking。Theuglyjackdaw，collectingallthefinefeatherswhichhadfallenfromtheotherbirds，attachedthemtohisownbodyandappearedattheexamination，lookingverygay。Theotherbirds，recognisingtheirownborrowedplumage，indignantlyprotested，andbegantostriphim。
"Hold!"saidJupiter；"thisself—madebirdhasmoresensethananyofyou。Heisyourking。"
TheLionandtheMouseALIONwhohadcaughtaMousewasabouttokillhim，whentheMousesaid：
"Ifyouwillsparemylife，Iwilldoasmuchforyousomeday。"
TheLion，good—naturedlylethimgo。IthappenedshortlyafterwardsthattheLionwascaughtbysomehuntersandboundwithcords。TheMouse，passingthatway，andseeingthathisbenefactorwashelpless，gnawedoffhistail。
TheOldManandHisSonsANOldMan，afflictedwithafamilyofcontentiousSons，broughtinabundleofsticksandaskedtheyoungmentobreakit。Afterrepeatedeffortstheyconfessedthatitcouldnotbedone。
"Behold，"saidtheOldMan，"theadvantageofunity；aslongasthesesticksareinalliancetheyareinvincible，butobservehowfeebletheyareindividually。"
Pullingasinglestickfromthebundle，hebrokeiteasilyupontheheadoftheeldestSon，andthisherepeateduntilallhadbeenserved。
TheCrabandHisSonALOGICALCrabsaidtohisSon，"Whydoyounotwalkstraightforward？Yoursidelonggaitissingularlyungraceful。"
"Whydon’tyouwalkstraightforwardyourself，"saidtheSon。
"Erringyouth，"repliedtheLogicalCrab，"youareintroducingnewandirrelevantmatter。"
TheNorthWindandtheSunTHESunandtheNorthWinddisputedwhichwasthemorepowerful，andagreedthatheshouldbedeclaredvictorwhocouldthesoonerstripatravellerofhisclothes。Sotheywaiteduntilatravellercameby。Butthetravellerhadbeenindiscreetenoughtostayovernightatasummerhotel，andhadnoclothes。
TheMountainandtheMouseAMOUNTAINwasinlabour，andthepeopleofsevencitieshadassembledtowatchitsmovementsandhearitsgroans。WhiletheywaitedinbreathlessexpectancyoutcameaMouse。
"Oh，whatababy!"theycriedinderision。
"Imaybeababy，"saidtheMouse，gravely，ashepassedoutwardthroughtheforestofshins，"butIknowtolerablywellhowtodiagnoseavolcano。"
TheBellamyandtheMembersTHEMembersofabodyofSocialistsroseininsurrectionagainsttheirBellamy。
"Why，"saidthey，"shouldwebeallthetimetuckingyououtwithfoodwhenyoudonothingtotuckusout？"
So，resolvingtotakenofurtheraction，theywentaway，andlookingbackwardhadthesatisfactiontoseetheBellamycompelledtosellhisownbook。
OLDSAWSWITHNEWTEETH
CERTAINANCIENTFABLESAPPLIEDTO
THELIFEOFOURTIMES
TheWolfandtheCraneARICHManwantedtotellacertainlie，buttheliewasofsuchmonstroussizethatitstuckinhisthroat；soheemployedanEditortowriteitoutandpublishitinhispaperasaneditorial。
ButwhentheEditorpresentedhisbill，theRichMansaid：
"Becontent—isitnothingthatIrefrainedfromadvisingyouaboutinvestments？"
TheLionandtheMouseAJUDGEwasawakenedbythenoiseofalawyerprosecutingaThief。
RisinginwrathhewasabouttosentencetheThieftolifeimprisonmentwhenthelattersaid：
"Ibegthatyouwillsetmefree，andIwillsomedayrequiteyourkindness。"
Pleasedandflatteredtobebribed，althoughbynothingbutanemptypromise，theJudgelethimgo。Soonafterwardhefoundthatitwasmorethananemptypromise，for，havingbecomeaThief，hewashimselfsetfreebytheother，whohadbecomeaJudge。
TheHaresandtheFrogsTHEMembersofaLegislature，beingtoldthattheywerethemeanestthievesintheworld，resolvedtocommitsuicide。Sotheyboughtshrouds，andlayingtheminaconvenientplacepreparedtocuttheirthroats。WhiletheyweregrindingtheirrazorssomeTrampspassingthatwaystoletheshrouds。
"Letuslive，myfriends，"saidoneoftheLegislatorstotheothers；"theworldisbetterthanwethought。Itcontainsmeanerthievesthanwe。"
TheBellyandtheMembersSOMEWorkingmenemployedinashoefactorywentonastrike，saying："Whyshouldwecontinuetoworktofeedandclotheouremployerwhenwehavenonetoomuchtoeatandwearourselves？"
TheManufacturer，seeingthathecouldgetnolabourforalongtimeandfindingthetimesprettyhardanyhow，burneddownhisshoefactoryfortheinsurance，andwhenthestrikerswantedtoresumeworktherewasnoworktoresume。Sotheyboycottedatanner。
ThePipingFishermanANEditorwhowasalwaysvauntingthepurity，enterprise，andfearlessnessofhispaperwaspainedtoobservethathegotnosubscribers。Onedayitoccurredtohimtostopsayingthathispaperwaspureandenterprisingandfearless，andmakeitso。"Ifthesearenotgoodqualities，"hereasoned，"itisfollytoclaimthem。"
Underthenewpolicyhegotsomanysubscribersthathisrivalsendeavouredtodiscoverthesecretofhisprosperity，buthekeptit，andwhenhedieditdiedwithhim。
TheAntsandtheGrasshopperSOMEMembersofaLegislatureweremakingschedulesoftheirwealthattheendofthesession，whenanHonestMinercamealongandaskedthemtodividewithhim。ThemembersoftheLegislatureinquired：
"Whydidyounotacquirepropertyofyourown？"
"Because，"repliedtheHonestMiner，"IwassobusydiggingoutgoldthatIhadnoleisuretolayupsomethingworthwhile。"
ThentheMembersoftheLegislaturederidedhim，saying：
"Ifyouwasteyourtimeinprofitlessamusement，youcannot，ofcourse，expecttosharetherewardsofindustry。"
TheDogandHisReflectionASTATEOfficialcarryingofftheDomeoftheCapitolmettheGhostofhispredecessor，whohadcomeoutofhispoliticalgravetowarnhimthatGodsawhim。Astheplaceofmeetingwaslonelyandthetimemidnight，theStateOfficialsetdowntheDomeoftheCapitol，andcommandedthesupposedtravellertothrowuphishands。TheGhostrepliedthathehadnoteatenthem，andwhilehewasexplainingthesituationanotherStateOfficialsilentlyaddedthedometohisowncollection。
TheLion，theBear，andtheFoxTwoThieveshavingstolenaPianoandbeingunabletodivideitfairlywithoutaremainderwenttolawaboutitandcontinuedthecontestaslongaseitheronecouldstealadollartobribethejudge。WhentheycouldgivenomoreanHonestMancamealongandbyasinglesmallpaymentobtainedajudgmentandtookthePianohome，wherehisdaughterusedittodevelopherbicepsmuscles，becomingafamouspugiliste。
TheAssandtheLion’sSkinAMEMBERoftheStateMilitiastoodatastreetcorner，scowlingstormily，andthepeoplepassingthatwaywentalongwayaroundhim，thinkingofthehorrorsofwar。Butpresently，inordertoterrifythemstillmore，hestrodetowardthem，when，hisswordentanglinghislegs，hefelluponthefieldofglory，andthepeoplepassedoverhimsingingtheirsweetestsongs。
TheAssandtheGrasshoppersASTATESMANheardsomeLabourerssingingattheirwork，andwishingtobehappytoo，askedthemwhatmadethemso。
"Honesty，"repliedtheLabourers。
SotheStatesmanresolvedthathetoowouldbehonest，andtheresultwasthathediedofwant。
TheWolfandtheLionANIndianwhohadbeendrivenoutofafertilevalleybyaWhiteSettler，said：
"Nowthatyouhaverobbedmeofmyland，thereisnothingformetodobutissueinvitationstoawar—dance。"
"Idon’tsomuchmindyourdancing，"saidtheWhiteSettler，puttingafreshcartridgeintohisrifle，"butifyouattempttomakemedanceyouwillbecomeagoodIndianlamentedbyallwhodidn’tknowyou。HowdidYOUgetthisland，anyhow？"
TheIndian’sclaimwascompromisedforaplughatandatinhorn。
TheHareandtheTortoiseOFtwoWritersonewasbrilliantbutindolent；theotherthoughdull，industrious。Theysetoutforthegoaloffamewithequalopportunities。Beforetheydiedthebrilliantonewasdetectedinseventylanguagesastheauthorofbuttwoorthreebooksoffictionandpoetry，whiletheotherwashonouredintheBureauofStatisticsofhisnativelandasthecompilerofsixteenvolumesoftabulatedinformationrelatingtothedomestichog。
TheMilkmaidandHerBucketASENATORfelltomusingasfollows："WiththemoneywhichIshallgetformyvoteinfavourofthebilltosubsidisecat—ranches，I
canbuyakitofburglar’stoolsandopenabank。Theprofitofthatenterprisewillenablemetoobtainalong，low，blackschooner，raiseadeath’s—headflagandengageincommerceonthehighseas。FrommygainsinthatbusinessIcanpayforthePresidency，whichat$50，000ayearwillgivemeinfouryears—"
butittookhimsolongtomakethecalculationthatthebilltosubsidisecat—ranchespassedwithouthisvote，andhewascompelledtoreturntohisconstituentsanhonestman，tormentedwithacleanconscience。
KingLogandKingStorkTHEPeoplebeingdissatisfiedwithaDemocraticLegislature，whichstolenomorethantheyhad，electedaRepublicanone，whichnotonlystolealltheyhadbutexactedapromissorynoteforthebalancedue，securedbyamortgageupontheirhopeofdeath。
TheWolfWhoWouldBeaLionAFOOLISHFellowwhohadbeentoldthathewasagreatmanbelievedit，andgothimselfappointedaCommissionertotheInterasylumExpositionofPreservedIdiots。AtthefirstmeetingoftheBoardhewasmistakenforoneoftheexhibits，andthejanitorwasorderedtoremovehimtohisappropriateglasscase。
"Alas!"heexclaimedashewascarriedout，"whywasInotcontenttoremainwherethecutofmyforeheadissocommonastobeknownasthePacificSlope？"
TheMonkeyandtheNutsACERTAINCitydesiringtopurchaseasiteforapublicDeformatoryprocuredanappropriationfromtheGovernmentofthecountry。
Deemingthisinsufficientforpurchaseofthesiteandpaymentofreasonablecommissionstothemselves，themeninchargeofthematteraskedforalargersum，whichwasreadilygiven。Believingthatthefountaincouldnotbedippeddry，theyappliedforstillmoreandmoreyet。Weariedatlastbytheirimportunities，theGovernmentsaiditwouldbedamnedifitgaveanything。Soitgavenothingandwasdamnedalltheharder。
TheBoysandtheFrogsSOMEeditorsofnewspaperswereengagedindiffusinggeneralintelligenceandelevatingthemoralsentimentofthepublic。Theyhadbeendoingthisforsometime，whenanEminentStatesmanstuckhisheadoutofthepoolofpolitics，and，speakingforthemembersofhisprofession，said：
"Myfriends，Ibegyouwilldesist。Iknowyoumakeagreatdealofmoneybythiskindofthing，butconsiderthedamageyouinflictuponthebusinessofothers!"