FRIVOLOUSCUPID
　　BY
　　SIRANTHONYHOPEHAWKINS
　　（ANTHONYHOPE，PSEUD。）
　　CONTENTS
　　I。RELUCTANCE
　　II。WHYMENDON’TMARRY
　　III。ACHANGEOFHEART
　　IV。AREPENTANTSINNER
　　V。’TWIXTWILLANDWILLNOT
　　VI。WHICHSHALLITBE？
　　VII。MARRIAGEBYCOMPULSION
　　VIII。ALL’SWELLTHATENDSWELL
　　Cupid，ImettheeyesterdayWithanemptyquiver，ComingfromClarinda’shouseBythereedyriver。
　　AndIsawClarindastandNearthepansies，weeping，WithherhandsuponherbreastAllthinearrowskeeping。
　　FRIVOLOUSCUPID。
　　————
　　I。
　　————
　　RELUCTANCE。
　　I。
　　Neitherlifenorthelawn—tennisclubwassofullatNatterleythatthenewsofHarrySterling’sreturnhadnotsomeimportance。
　　Hecameback，moreover，toassumeapositionverydifferentfromhisoldone。HehadleftHarrownow，departinginthesweetaromaofalongscoreagainstEtonatLord’s，andwastogouptoOxfordinOctober。NowbetweenaschoolboyandaUniversitymanthereisagulf，indicatedunmistakablybythecigarettewhichadornedHarry’smouthashewalkeddownthestreetwithanewlyacquiescentfather，andthoroughlyrealizedbyhisoldplaymates。Theyoungmengreetedhimasanequal，theboysgrudginglyacceptedhissuperiority，andthegirlsreceivedhimmuchasthoughtheyhadnevermethimbeforeintheirlivesandwerepressinglyinneedofanintroduction。ThesefeaturesofhisreappearanceamusedMrs。Mortimer；sherecollectedhimasanuntidy，shy，prettyboy；butmind，workingonmatter，hadsotransformedhimthatshewasdoubtfulenoughabouthimtoaskherhusbandifthatwerereallyHarrySterling。
　　Mr。Mortimer，moppinghisbaldheadafteroneofhisenergeticfailuresatlawntennis，gruntedassent，andremarkedthatafewyearsmorewouldseealikedevelopmentintheirelderson，aremarkwhichborderedonabsurdity；forJohnnywasbuteight，andtenyearsarenotafewyearstoaladyoftwenty—eight，whatevertheymayseemtoamanofforty—four。
　　PresentlyHarry，shakinghimselffreefromanentanglinggroupoftheVicaragegirls，joinedhisfather，andthetwocameacrosstoMrs。Mortimer。
　　ShewasafavoriteofoldSterling’s，andhewasproudtopresenthishandsomesontoher。Shelistenedgraciouslytohisjocosities，stealingaglanceatHarrywhenhisfathercalledhim"agoodboy。"Harryblushedandassumedanairofindifference，tossinghishairbackfromhissmoothforehead，andswinginghisracketcarelesslyinhishand。Theladyaddressedsomewordsofpatronizingkindnesstohim，seekingtoputhimathisease。Sheseemedtosucceedtosomeextent，forhelethisfatherandherhusbandgoofftogether，andsatdownbyheronthebench，regardlessofthefactthattheVicaragegirlswerewaitingforhimtomakeafourth。
　　Hesaidnothing，andMrs。Mortimerlookedathimfromunderherlonglashes；insodoingshediscoveredthathewaslookingather。
　　"Aren’tyougoingtoplayanymore，Mr。Sterling？"sheasked。
　　"Whyaren’tyouplaying？"herejoined。
　　"MyhusbandsaysIplaytoobadly。"
　　"Oh，playwithme!Weshallmakeagoodpair。"
　　"Thenyoumustbeverygood。"
　　"Well，noonecanplayahanghere，youknow。BesidesI’msureyou’reallright，really。"
　　"Youforgetmyweightofyears。"
　　Heopenedhisblueeyesalittle，andlaughed。Hewas，infact，astonishedtofindthatshewasquiteayoungwoman。RememberingoldMortimerandthebabies，hehadthoughtofherasfullmiddle—aged。Butshewasnot；norhadshethatlikenesstoasuetpudding，whichhisnewborncriticalfacultycruellydetectedinhisoldfriends，theVicaragegirls。
　　Therewasoneofthem——Maudie——withwhomhehadflirtedinhisholidays；hewonderedatthat，especiallywhenarelentlessmemorytoldhimthatMrs。Mortimermusthavebeenatthepartieswherethethingwenton。Hefeltverymucholder，somucholderthatMrs。Mortimerbecameatonceacontemporary。
　　Why，then，shouldshebegin，asshenowdid，totalktohim，inquasimaternalfashion，abouthisprospects？Mendon’thaveprospects，or，anyhow，aresparedquestioningsthereon。
　　Eitherfromimpatienceofthistopic，orbecause，afterall，tenniswasnottobeneglected，helefther，andshesataloneforalittlewhile，watchinghimplay。Shewasgladthatshehadnotplayed；shecouldnothaverivaledtheactivityoftheVicaragegirls。ShegotupandjoinedMrs。Sterling，whowaspresidingovertheclubteapot。Thegoodladyexpectedcomplimentsonherson，butforsomereasonMrs。Mortimergavehernone。Verysoon，indeed，shetookJohnnieawaywithher，leavingherhusbandtofollowathisleisure。
　　IncomparingMaudieSinclairtoasuetpudding，Harryhadlookedatthedarksideofthematter。
　　Thesuggestion，thoughindisputable，wasonlyoccasionallyobtrusive，andasarulehushedalmosttosilencebythepleasantgoodnaturewhichredeemedshapelessfeatures。Mrs。MortimerhadalwayslikedMaudie，whoraninandoutofherhousecontinually，andhadmadeofherselfavice—mothertothelittlechildren。
　　Theverynextdayshecame，and，intheintervalsofplayingcricketwithJohnnie，tookoccasiontoinformMrs。MortimerthatinheropinionHarrySterlingwasbynomeansimprovedbyhisnewstatusanddignity。Shewentsofarastousetheterm"stuck—
　　up。""Hedidn’tusetobelikethat，"shesaid，shakingherhead；"heusedtobeveryjolly。"Mrs。Mortimerwasrelievedtonoteanentireabsenceofromanceeitherintheregrettedpastorthecondemnedpresent。Maudiemournedafriendspoiled，notanadmirerlost；thetoneofhercriticismsleftnodoubtofit，andMrs。Mortimer，withalaugh，announcedherintentionofaskingtheSterlingstodinnerandhavingMaudietomeetthem。"Youwillbeabletomakeitupthen，"saidshe。
　　"Why，Iseehimeverydayatthetennisclub，"criedMaudieinsurprise。
　　ThefaintestofblushestingedMrs。Mortimer’scheekasshechidherselfforforgettingthisobviousfact。
　　Thesituationnowdevelopedrapidly。Theabsurdthinghappened：
　　HarrySterlingbegantotakeaseriousviewofhisattachmenttoMrs。Mortimer。Theonethingmoreabsurd，thatsheshouldtakeaseriousviewofit，hadnothappenedyet，and，indeed，wouldneverhappen；soshetoldherselfwithanervouslittlelaugh。
　　Harrygavehernoopportunityofsayingsotohim，foryoucannotreproveglancesordiscouragepressingsofyourhandinfashionsoblunt。
　　Andhewasverydiscreet：henevermadeherlookfoolish。Inpublichetreatedherwithjustthedegreeofattentionthatgainedhismother’sfondeulogium，andhisfather’sapprovingsmile；whileMr。Mortimer，whowenttoLondonatnineo’clockeverymorninganddidnotreturntillseven，wasveryseldombotheredbyfindingtheyoungfellowhangingaboutthehouse。
　　Certainlyhecameprettyfrequentlybetweenthehoursnamed，butitwas，asthechildrencouldhavewitnessed，toplaywiththem。
　　And，throughhiscomingsandgoings，Mrs。Mortimermovedwithpleasure，vexation，self—contempt，andeagerness。
　　OnenightsheandherhusbandwenttodinewiththeSterlings。
　　AfterdinnerMr。Mortimeracceptedhishost’sinvitationtostayforasmoke。Hesawnodifficultyinhiswifewalkinghomealone；itwasbuthalfamile，andthenightwasfineandmoonlit。Mrs。Mortimermadenodifficultyeither，butMrs。
　　SterlingwassurethatHarrywouldbedelightedtoseeMrs。
　　Mortimertoherhouse。
　　Shelikedtheboytolearnhabitsofpoliteness，shesaid，andhisfathereagerlyprofferedhisescort，wavingasideMrs。
　　Mortimer’sprotestthatshewouldnotthinkoftroublingMr。
　　Harry；throughoutwhichconversationHarrysaidnothingatall，butstoodsmiling，withhishatinhishand，thepictureofanobedient，well—manneredyouth。Therearegenerallytwowaysanywhere，andthereweretwofromtheSterlings’totheMortimers’：theshortonethroughthevillage，andthelongoneroundbythelaneandacrosstheChurchmeadow。ThepathdivergingtothelatterroutecomesverysoonafteryouleavetheSterlings’，andnotawordhadpassedwhenMrs。MortimerandHarryreachedit。Stillwithoutaword，Harryturnedofftofollowthepath。Mrs。Mortimerglancedathim；Harrysmiled。
　　"It’smuchlonger，"shesaid。
　　"There’slotsoftime，"rejoinedHarry，"andit’ssuchajollynight。"Thebettertoenjoythenight’sbeauty，heslackenedhispacetoaverycrawl。
　　"It’sratherdark；won’tyoutakemyarm？"hesaid。
　　"Whatnonsense!Why，Icouldseetoread!"
　　"ButI’msureyou’retired。"
　　"Howabsurdyouare!Wasitagreatbore？"
　　"What？"
　　"Why，coming。"
　　"No，"saidHarry。
　　Insuchaffairsmonosyllablesaredangersignals。Alongprotestationmighthavemeantnothing：inthisshort，sufficientnegativeMrs。Mortimerrecognizedtheboy’ssincerity。Alittlethrillofprideandshame，andperhapssomethingelse，ranthroughher。Thenightwashotandsheunfastenedtheclaspofhercloak，breathingatriflequickly。Torelievethesilence，shesaid，withalaugh：
　　"Youseewepoormarriedwomenhavetodependoncharity。Ourhusbandsdon’tcaretowalkhomewithus。Yourfatherwasbentonyourcoming。"
　　Harrylaughedashortlaugh；theutterdarknessofMr。Sterling’sconditionstruckthroughhisagitationdowntohissenseofhumor。Mrs。Mortimersmiledathim；shecouldnothelpit：thesecretbetweenthemwassopleasanttoher，evenwhileshehatedherselfforitsexistence。
　　Theyhadreachedthemeadownow，halfwaythroughtheirjourney。
　　AlittlegateledintoitandHarrystopped，leaninghisarmonthetoprail。
　　"Oh，no!wemustgoon，"shemurmured。
　　"Theywon’tmoveforanhouryet，"heanswered，andthenhesuddenlybrokeout：
　　"How——howfunnyitis!Ihardlyrememberedyou，youknow。"
　　"Oh，butIrememberedyou，aprettylittleboy；"andshelookedupathisface，halfafootaboveher。Merestaturehasmucheffectandthelittleboystageseemedveryfaraway。Andheknewthatitdid，forheputouthishandtotakehers。Shedrewback。
　　"No，"shesaid。
　　Harryblushed。Shetookholdofthegateandhe，yieldinghisplace，letherpassthrough。Foraminuteortwotheywalkedoninsilence。
　　"Oh，howsillyyouare!"shecriedthen，beginningwithalaughandendingwithastrangecatchinherthroat。"Why，you’reonlyjustoutofknickerbockers!"
　　"Idon’tcare，Idon’tcare，Hilda————"
　　"Hush，hush!Oh，indeed，youmustbequiet!See，wearenearlyhome。"
　　Heseizedherhand，nottobequelledthistime，and，bendinglowoverit，kissedit。Shedidnotdrawitaway，butwatchedhimwithacurious，painedsmile。Helookedupinherface，hisownglowingwithexcitement。Herightedhimselftohisfullstatureand，fromthatstooping，kissedheronthelips。
　　"Oh，yousillyboy!"shemoaned，andfoundherselfaloneinthemeadow。Hehadgoneswiftlybackbythewaytheyhadcome，andshewentontoherhome。
　　"Well，theboysawyouhome？"askedMr。Mortimerwhenhearrivedhalfanhourlater。
　　"Yes，"shesaid，raisingherheadfromthecushionsofthesofaonwhichhefoundherlying。
　　"Isupposedso，buthedidn’tcomeintothesmoking—roomwhenhegotback。Wentstraighttobed，Iexpect。He’sanice—manneredyoungfellow，isn’the？"
　　"Oh，very!"saidMrs。Mortimer。
　　II。
　　Mr。Mortimerhadneverbeensolookedafter，cosseted，andcomfortedforhisearlystartasthenextmorning，northechildrenfoundtheirmothersopatientandaffectionate。Shewasinanabasementofshameanddisgustatherself，andquiteunabletotreathertransgressionlightly。Thathewasaboyandshe——
　　notagirl——seemedtochargeherwithhisaswellasherownsins，and，besidesthismoralaggravation，entailedaloweranxietyastohisdiscretionandsecrecythatdroveherhalfmadwithworry。Supposeheshouldboastofit!Or，ifhewerenotbadenoughforthat，onlysupposeheshouldbecarriedawayintocarelessnessaboutit!Hehadnothingtofearworsethanwhathewouldcall"awigging"andperhapssummarydismissaltoatutor’s：shehadmoreatriskthanshecouldbeartothinkof。
　　Probably，bynow，herecognizedhisfoolishness，andlaughedathimselfandher。Thisthoughtmadehernohappier，formenmaydoallthat——andyet，veryoften，theydonotstop。
　　ShehadtogotoapartyattheVicarageintheafternoon。Harrywouldbesuretobethere，and，withaconflictoffeelingfindingexpressioninheracts，sheprotectedherselfbytakingallthechildren，whilesheinconsistentlydressedherselfinhermostyouthfulandcoquettishcostume。ShefoundherselfalmostgrudgingJohnniehisrapidlyincreasinginches，evenwhileshereliedonhimforanassertionofherpositionasamatron。Forthefollyoflastnightwastobeoveranddonewith，andheracquaintancewithHarrySterlingtoreturntoitsonlypossiblesanebasis；thatshewasresolvedon，butshewantedHarryhonestly——evenkeenly——toregretherdetermination。
　　HewastalkingtoMaudieSinclairwhenshearrived；hetookoffhishat，butdidnotallowhiseyestomeethers。Shegatheredherchildrenroundher，andsatdownamongthechaperons。Mrs。
　　Sterlingcameandtalkedtoher；diviningasympathy，thegoodmotherhadmuchtosayofherson，ofherhopesandherfearsforhim；somanydangersbesetyoungmen，especiallyiftheywereattractive，likeHarry；thereweredebts，idleness，fastmen，and——worstofall——thereweredesigningwomen，readytoimposeonandruintheinnocenceofyouth。
　　"He’sbeensuchagoodboytillnow，"saidMrs。Sterling，"but，ofcourse，hisfatherandIfeelanxious。Ifwecouldonlykeephimhere，outofharm’sway，underourowneyes!"
　　Mrs。Mortimermurmuredconsolation。
　　"Howkindofyou!Andyourinfluenceissogoodforhim。Hethinkssuchalotofyou，Hilda。"
　　Mrs。Mortimer，triedtoohard，roseandstrolledaway。Harry’ssetseemedtoendalmostdirectly，andamomentlaterhewasshakinghandswithher，stillkeepinghiseyesawayfromhers。
　　Shemadehergraspcoldandinanimate，andhedivinedthedispleasureshemeanttoindicate。
　　"Youmustgoandplayagain，"shesaid，"ortalktothegirls。
　　Youmustn’tcomeandtalktome。"
　　"Whynot!HowcanIhelpit——now？"
　　Thelaughingatherandhimselfhadevidentlynotcome，but，badasthatwouldhavebeentobear，histonethreatenedsomethingworse。
　　"Don’t，"sheansweredsharply。"I’mveryangry。Youwereveryunkindand——andungentlemanlylastnight。"
　　Heflushedcrimson。
　　"Didn’tyoulikeit？"heasked，withtheterriblesimplicityofhisyouth。
　　Forallhertrouble，shehadtobiteherliptohideasmile。
　　Whataquestiontoask——justinsomanywords!
　　"Itwasvery，verywicked，and，ofcourse，Ididn’tlikeit，"
　　sheanswered。"Oh，Harry!don’tyouknowhowwickeditwas？"
　　"Oh，yes!Iknowthat，ofcourse，"saidhe，pickingatthestrawofhishat，whichhewascarryinginhishand。
　　"Well，then!"shesaid。
　　"Icouldn’thelpit。"
　　"Youmusthelpit。Oh，don’tyouknow——oh，it’sabsurd!I’myearsolderthanyou。"
　　"Youlookedso——soawfullypretty。"
　　"Ican’tstandtalkingtoyou。They’llallsee。"
　　"Oh，it’sallright。You’reafriendofmother’s，youknow。I
　　say，whenshallIbeabletoseeyouagain——alone，youknow？"
　　Mrs。Mortimerwaswithinanaceofaburstoftears。Heseemednottoknowthathemadeherfaintwithshame，andmadwithexultation，andbewilderedwithterrorallinamoment。Hisnewmanhoodtooknoheed，saveofitself。Wasthisbeingoutofharm’sway，undertheeyesofthosepoorblindparents？
　　"If——ifyoucaretheleastforme——forwhatIwish，goaway，Harry，"shewhispered。
　　Helookedatherinwonder，but，withafrownonhisface，didashewastold。Fiveminuteslaterhewasplayingagain；sheheardhimshout"Thirty——love，"asheserved，anoteoftriumphantbattleinhisvoice。Shebelievedthatshewasaltogetheroutofhisthoughts。
　　Herhusbandwastodineintownthatnight，and，forsheerprotection，shemadeMaudieSinclaircomeandsharehereveningmeal。Thechildrenwereputtobed，andtheysatdownalonetogether，talkingovertheparty。MaudiewaspleasedtorelaxalittleofherseveritytowardHarrySterling；sheadmittedthathehadbeenveryusefulinarrangingthesets，andverypleasanttoeveryone。
　　"Ofcourse，he’sconceited，"shesaid，"butallboysare。He’llgetoverit。"
　　"Youtalkasifyouwereahundred，Maudie，"laughedMrs。
　　Mortimer。"He’solderthanyouare。"
　　"Oh，butboysaremuchyoungerthangirls，Mrs。Mortimer。HarrySterling’squiteaboystill。"
　　Aknocksoundedatthedoor。Aminutelatertheboywalkedin。
　　ThesightofMaudieSinclairproducedamomentarystart，butherecoveredhimselfanddeliveredanotefromhismother，theexcuseforhisvisit。Itwasaninvitationforafewdaysahead；
　　therecouldcertainlyhavebeennohurryforittoarrivethatnight。WhileMrs。Mortimerreadit，Harrysatdownandlookedather。Shewasobligedtotreathisarrivalasunimportant，andinvitedhimtohaveaglassofwine。
　　"Whyareyouineveningdress？"askedMaudiewonderingly。
　　"Fordinner，"answeredHarry。
　　"Doyoudresswhenyou’realoneathome？"
　　"Generally。Mostmendo。"
　　Maudieallowedherselftolaugh。Mrs。Mortimersawthejoke，too，butitsamusementwasbittertoher。
　　"Ilikeit，"shesaidgently。"MostofthemenIknowdoit。"
　　"Yourhusbanddoesn’t，"observedMissSinclair。
　　"PoorGeorgegetsdownfromtownsotired。"
　　ShegaveHarrythereplyshehadwritten（itwasarefusal——shecouldnothavetoldwhy），butheseemednottounderstandthathewastogo。Beforeheapprehended，shehadtogivehimasignificantglance；shegaveitindreadofMaudie’seyes。Sheknewhowsharpschoolgirls’eyesareinsuchthings。WhetherMaudiesawitornot，Harrydid；hesprangtohisfeetandsaidgood—night。
　　Maudiewasnotlongafterhim。Theconversationlanguished，andtherewasnothingtokeepher。Withanhonestyawnshetookherleave。Mrs。Mortimeraccompaniedherdownthegardentothegate。Asshewent，shebecametoherstartledhorrorawareofathirdpersoninthegarden。ShegotridofMaudieassoonasshecould，andturnedbacktothehouse。Harry，emergingfrombehindatree，stoodbeforeher。
　　"Iknowwhatyou’regoingtosay，"hesaiddoggedly，"butI
　　couldn’thelpit。Iwasdyingtoseeyouagain。"Shespreadoutherhandsasthoughtopushhimaway。Shewaslikeafrightenedgirl。
　　"Oh，you’remad!"shewhispered。"Youmustgo。Supposeanyoneshouldcome。Supposemyhusband————"
　　"Ican’thelpit。Iwon’tstaylong。"
　　"Harry，Harry，don’tbecruel!You’llruinme，Harry。Ifyouloveme，go——ifyouloveme。"
　　Evennowhehardlyfathomedherdistress，butshehadmadehimunderstandthatthisspotandthistimeweretoodangerous。
　　"TellmewhereIcanseeyousafely，"heasked，almostdemanded。
　　"Youcanseemesafely——nowhere。"
　　"Nowhere？Youmeanthatyouwon’t————"
　　"Harry，comehereaminute——there——nocloser。Ijustwanttobeabletotouchyourhair。Goaway，dear——yes，Isaid`dear。’
　　Dopleasegoaway。You——youwon’tbeanyhappierafterwardforhaving——if——ifyoudon’tgoaway。"
　　Hestoodirresolutelystill。Herfingerslightlytouchedhishair，andthenherarmdroppedatherside。Hesawatearrundownhercheek。Suddenlyhisownfaceturnedcrimson。
　　"I’m——I’mverysorry，"hemuttered。"Ididn’tmean————"
　　"Good—night。I’mgoingin。"
　　Sheheldoutherhand。Againhebentandkissedit，and，ashedidso，hefeltthelighttouchofherlipsamonghishair。
　　"I’msuchafoolish，foolishwoman，"shewhispered，"butyou’reagentleman，Harry，"andshedrewherhandawayandlefthim。
　　Twodayslatershetookherchildrenofftotheseaside。AndtheMortimersnevercamebacktoNatterley。ShewroteandtoldMrs。
　　SterlingthatGeorgewantedtobenearerhisworkintown，andthattheyhadgonetoliveatWimbledon。
　　"Howweshallmissher!"exclaimedgoodMrs。Sterling。"PoorHarry!what’llhesay？"
　　III。
　　Oneday，atBrighton，somesixyearslater，aladyinwidow’sweeds，accompaniedbyalong，loose—limbedboyoffourteen，wastakingtheairbythesea。Theplacewasfullofpeople，andthescenegay。
　　Mrs。MortimersatdownonaseatandJohnniestoodidlybyher。
　　Presentlyayoungmanandagirlcamealong。Whiletheywerestillalongwayoff，Mrs。Mortimer，whowaslookinginthatdirection，suddenlyleanedforward，startedalittle，andlookedhardatthem。Johnnie，noticingnothing，whistledunconcernedly。
　　Thecoupledrewnear。Mrs。Mortimersatwithafaintsmileonherface。Thegirlwaschattingmerrilytotheyoungman，andhelistenedtoherandlaughedeverynowandthen，buthisbrighteyeswerenotfixedonher，butwerehere，there，andeverywhere，wheremetalattractivetosucheyesmightbefound。
　　ThediscursivemoodoftheeyessomehowpleasedMrs。Mortimer。
　　Justastheyoungmancameoppositeher，heglancedinherdirection。
　　Mrs。Mortimerworethecurious，half—indifferent，half—expectantairofonereadyforrecognition，butnotclaimingitasaright。
　　Atthefirstglance，apuzzledlookcameintotheyoungman’seyes。Helookedagain：thentherewasablankinhiseyes。Mrs。
　　Mortimermadenosign，butsatstill，half—expectant。Hewaspasthernow，butheflungalastglanceoverhisshoulder。Hewasevidentlyverydoubtfulwhethertheladyontheseat，intheheavymourningrobes，weresomeoneheknewornot。Firsthethoughtshewas，andthenhethoughtshewasn’t。Thefacecertainlyremindedhimof——nowwhothedeucewasit？Harryknithisbrowsandexclaimed：
　　"Ihalfbelievethat’ssomebodyIknow!"
　　Andhepuzzledoverit，fornearlyfiveminutes，allinvain。
　　MeanwhileMrs。Mortimerlookedatthesea，tillJohnnietoldherthatitwasdinner—time。
　　II。
　　WHYMENDON’TMARRY。
　　WeweresittingaroundthefireatColonelHolborow’s。Dinnerwasover——had，infact，beenoverforsometime——thehourofsmoke，whisky，andconfidencehadarrived，andwehadbeentellingoneanotherthevariousreasonswhichaccountedforourbeingunmarried，forwewereallbachelorsexceptthecolonel，andhehad，asavariety，toldthereasonswhyhewishedhewasunmarried（hiswifewasaway）。JackDexter，however，hadnotspoken，anditwasonlyinresponsetoadirectappealthatherelatedthefollowingstory。Thestorymaybetrueoruntrue，butImustremarkthatJackalwayshadratheraweaknessforrepresentinghimselfontermsofcondescendingintimacywiththenobilityandevengreaterfolk。
　　Jacksigheddeeply。Therewasasympatheticsilence。Thenhebegan：
　　"Forsomereasonbestknowntoherself，"saidJack，withapatientshrugofhisshoulders，"theDuchessofMedmenham（I
　　don’tknowwhetheranyofyoufellowsknowher）chosetoobjecttomeasasuitorforthehandofherdaughter，MaryFitzmoine。
　　Thewomanwassoignorantthatshemayreallyhavethoughtthatmybirthwasnotequaltoherdaughter’s；butalltheworldknowsthattheMunnswereyeomentwohundredyearsago，andthatherGrace’sfamilyhailsfromastuccovillaintheneighborhoodofCardiff。However，theduchessdidobject；andwhentheseason（inthecourseofwhichIhadmetLadyMarymanytimes）ended，insteadofallowingherdaughtertopayaseriesofvisitsathouseswhereIhadarrangedtobe，shesentherofftoSwitzerland，underthecareofadragonwhomshehadengagedtokeepmeandotherdangerousfellowsataproperdistance。OnhearingofwhathadhappenedfromGeorgeFitzmoine（anintimatefriendofmine），Iatoncethrewupmyvisitsandstartedinpursuit。IfeltconfidentthatLadyMarywasfavorablyinclined（infact，Ihadcertainproofswhich——butnomatter），andthatifIwonherheartIcouldbreakdowntheoldlady’sopposition。I
　　shouldcertainlyhavesucceededinmyenterprise，andbeenatthismomentthehusbandofoneofthemostbeautifulgirlsinEngland，butforaverycuriousandunfortunatecircumstance，whichplacedmeinanunfavorablelightinMary’seyes。Iwasnottoblame；itwasjustabitofbadluck。
　　"IrangedovermostofSwitzerlandinsearchofLadyMary。
　　WhereverIwentIaskedabouther，andatlastIgotuponthetrack。AtInterlakenIfoundhernameinthevisitors’book，togetherwiththatofaMissDibbs，whomItooktobethedragon。
　　Iquestionedtheporterandfoundthatthetwoladieshad，theafternoonbefore，hiredacarriageanddriventoaquietlittlevillagesomefifteenmilesoff，wheretherewasasmallbutgoodinn。Heretheyevidentlymeanttostay，forlettersweretobesentafterthemthereforthenextweek。Theplacewasdescribedtomeasprettyandretired；itseemed，therefore，anidealspotformypurpose。Imadeupmymindatonce。I
　　startedthenextdayafterluncheon，tookthejourneyeasily，andcameinsightofthelittleinnaboutseveno’clockintheevening。Allwentwell。TheonlyquestionwasastothedispositionofMissDibbstowardme。Iprayedthatshemightturnouttobearomanticdragon；but，incasesheshouldproveobstinate，Imademyapproacheswithallpossiblecaution。WhenmycarriagestoppedatthedoorIjumpedout。Theheadwaiter，abigfellowinawhitewaistcoat，wasonthesteps。Idrewhimaside，andtookaten—francpiecefrommypocket。
　　"`Isthereayoungladystayinghere？’Iasked。`Tall，fair，handsome？’andIslidthepieceofgoldintohispalm。
　　"`Well，yes，sir，’hesaid，`thereisayounglady，andsheisallthatyousay，sir。Pardonme，MonsieurisEnglish？’
　　"`Yes，’saidI。
　　"`Ah，’saidhe，smilingmysteriously。`AnditisWednesday。’
　　"`ItiscertainlyWednesday，’Iadmitted，thoughIdidnotseethatthedayoftheweekmatteredmuch。
　　"Hecameclosetomeandwhispered：
　　"`Theladythoughtyoumightcome，sir。Ithinksheexpectsyou，sir。Oh，youcanrelyonmydiscretion，sir。’
　　"Iwasrathersurprised，butnotverymuch，forIhadhintedtoGeorgeFitzmoinethatImeanttotrymyluck，andIsupposedthathehadpassedmyhintontohissister。Mypredominantfeelingwasoneofgratification。Marylovedme!Maryexpectedme!
　　TherewascompletementalsympathybetweenMaryandmyself!
　　"Iwentuptomyroominastateofgreatcontentment。Ihadbeenthereabouthalfanhourwhenmyfriendthewaitercamein。Advancingtowardmewithamysteriousair，hetookablankenvelopeoutofhispocketandhelditupbeforemewitharoguishsmile。
　　"`Monsieurwillknowthehandwritinginside，’hesaidcunningly。
　　"NowIhadnevercorrespondedwithLadyMary，andofcoursedidnotknowherhandwriting，butIsawnouseintellingthewaiterthat。Intruth，Ithoughtthefellowquitefamiliarenough。SoIsaidshortlyandwithsomehauteur：
　　"`Givemethenote；’andItookanotherpieceofgoldoutofmypocket。Weexchangedourpossessions，thewaiterwithdrewwithawink，andItoreopenthepreciousnote。
　　"`Whateveryoudo，’itran，`don’trecognizeme。IamWATCHED。
　　AssoonasIcanIwilltellyouwheretomeetme。Iknewyouwouldcome。——M。’
　　"`Thedarling!’Iexclaimed。`She’sagirlofspirit。I’lltakegoodcarenottobetrayher。Oh，we’llcircumventoldDibbsbetweenus。’
　　"Ateighto’clockIwentdowntothesalleamanger。Itwasquiteempty。MaryandMissDibbsnodoubtdinedintheirownsittingroom，andthereappearedtobenooneelseinthehotel。
　　However，whenIwashalfwaythroughmymeal，astylishlydressedyoungwomancameinandsatdownatatableattheendoftheroomfarthestfromwhereIwas。Ishouldhavenoticedhermore，butIwasinareverieaboutMary’sadmirablecharms，andIonlyjustlookedather；shewasfrowninganddrummingangrilywithherfingersonthetable。Theheadwaiterhurrieduptoher；hisfacewascoveredwithsmiles，andhegavemeaconfidentialnodenpassant。Nothingelseoccurredexceptthatavillainouslookingfellow——something，tojudgebyhisappearance，betweenavaletandasecretary——thrusthisuglyheadthroughthedoorthreeorfourtimes。Wheneverhedidsothewaitersmiledblandlyathim。Hediditthelasttimejustastheladywaswalkingdowntheroom。Seeinghercominghedrewbackandheldthedooropenforherwithaclumsy，apologeticbow。Shesmiledscornfullyandpassedthrough。Thewaiterstoodgrinninginthemiddleoftheroom，andwhenI，inmyturn，rose，hewhisperedtome，`It’sallright，sir。’IwenttobedanddreamedofMary。
　　"OnenteringtheroomnextmorningthefirstpersonIsawwasMary。Shewaslookingadorablyfreshandpretty。Shesatoppositeastout，severe—lookingdameinblack。DirectlymyeyesalightedonherIschooledthemintoastudiouslyvacantexpression。She，poorgirl，wasnodiplomatist。Shestarted；
　　sheglancedanxiouslyatMissDibbs；Isawherlipsmove；sheblushed；sheseemedalmosttosmile。Ofcoursethisbehavior（I
　　lovedMarythemorethatshecouldnotconcealherdelightfulembarrassment!）excitedthedragon’scuriosity；sheturnedroundandfavoredmewithasearchinggaze。Iwasequaltotheoccasion。Icomprehendedthembothinalong，cool，deliberate，emptystare。Thestrainonmyself—controlwasimmense，butIsupportedit。Maryblushedcrimson，andhereyessanktoherplate。Poorgirl!Shehadsadlyoverratedherpowersofdeception。IwasnotsurprisedthatMissDibbsfrownedseverelyandsniffedaudibly。
　　"Atthatmomenttheothergirlcamein。Shewalkedup，tookthetablenexttomine，and，tomyconfusion，bestoweduponmealookofevidentinterest，thoughoftheutmostshortness——oneofthoselooks，youknow，thatseemtoberepentedofinaninstant，andaregenerallythemostdeliberate。Itooknonoticeatall，assuminganairofentireunconsciousness。AfewminuteslaterMarygotupandmadeforthedoor，withMissDibbsincloseattendance。Theimprudentchildcouldnotforbeartoglanceatme；butI，seeingthedragon’swatchfuleyeuponme，remainedabsolutelyirresponsive。Nay，tothrowMissDibbsoffthescent，Ifixedmyeyesonmyneighborwithassumedpreoccupation。
　　Flushingpainfully，Maryhurriedout，andIheardMissDibbssniffagain。Ichuckledoverherobviousdisapprovalofmyneighborandmyself。Theexcellentwomanevidentlythoughtusnobetterthanweoughttobe!ButIfeltthatIshouldgomadifI
　　couldnotspeaktoMarysoon。
　　"Iwentoutandsatdownintheveranda。Itwasthenabouthalf—
　　pastten。TheuglyfellowwhomIhadnoticedtheeveningbeforewashangingabout，butpresentlyawaitercameandspoketohim，andhegotupwithagrumbleandwentintothehouse。Tenminutesafterwardmyneighborofthesalleamangercameout。Shelookedverydiscontented。Sherangahandbellthatstoodonthetable，andawaiterranup。
　　"`Where’stheheadwaiter？’sheaskedsharply。
　　"`Pardon，ma’mselle，butheiswaitingonsomeladiesupstairs。’
　　"`Whatanuisance!’saidshe。`Butyou’lldo。Iwanttogivehimanorder。Stay；comeindoorsandI’llwriteitdown。’
　　"Shedisappeared，andIsaton，wonderinghowIwastogetasightofMary。Atlast，inweariness，Iwentindoorstothesmokingroom。Itlookedouttothebackandwasadrearylittleroom；butIlitmycigarandbeganonathreedays’oldcopyoftheTimes。ThusIspentatedioushour。Thenmyfriendtheheadwaiterappeared，lookingmoreroguishthanever。Idivedintomypocket，heproducedanote，Iseizedit。
　　"`Whyhaveyoubeensolong？’（Charminglyunreasonable!whatcouldIhavedone？）`Directlyyougetthis，cometothewoodbehindthehotel。Takethepathtotherightandgostraighttillyoufindme。IhavethrowntheSPY[pooroldDibbs!]offthescent。——M。’
　　"Icaughtupmyhatandrushedintothehall。Icannonedintoayoungmanwhohadjustgotoutofacarriageandwasstandingintheveranda。WithahastyapologyIdashedon。Beyonddoubtshelovedme!Andshewashonestenoughnottoconcealit。I
　　hatemockmodesty。IlongedtoshowherhowtrulyIreturnedherlove，andIrejoicedthatthereneedbenotediouspreliminaries。
　　MaryandIunderstoodoneanother。Akisswouldbethesealofourlove——andthemostsuitablebeginningofourconversation。
　　"InfiveminutesIwasinthewood。JustbeforeIdisappearedamongitstreesIheardsomeonecalling`Monsieur，monsieur!’
　　Itsoundedlikethevoiceoftheheadwaiter，butIwouldn’thavestoppedforfiftyheadwaiters。ItookthepathMaryhadindicatedandranalongitatthetopofmyspeed。Suddenly，tomyjoy，Icaughtsightofthefigureofagirl；shewasseatedonamoundofgrass，and，thoughherfacewasfromme，ImadenodoubtitwasMary。Sheworethemostcharmingbluecloak（itwasachillymorning）whichcompletelyenvelopedher。Ideterminednottoshilly—shally。Shelovedme——Ilovedher。Iranforward，plumpeddownonmykneesbehindher，tookherheadbetweenmyhandsdodgedround，andkissedhercheek。
　　"`Atlast，mydarling!’Icriedinpassionatetones。
　　"ByJupiter，itwastheothergirl，though!
　　"Isprangbackinhorror。Thegirllookedatmeforamoment。
　　Thensheblushed；thenshefrowned；then——why，thenshebegantolaughconsumedly。Iwasamazed。
　　"`"Atlast，"youcallit，’shegasped。`Icallit"atfirst"’；
　　andshelaughedmerrilyandmelodiously。Shecertainlyhadanicelaugh，thatgirl。
　　"Now，concerningwhatfollows，Ihave，sincethen，entertainedsomedoubtswhetherIbehavedinallrespectsdiscreetly。Youwillallowthatthepositionwasadifficultone，butitis，I
　　admit，verypossiblethatmywisestcoursewouldhavebeentomakeanapologyandturntailasquicklyasIcould。Well，I
　　didn’t。IthoughtthatIowedtheladyafullexplanation。
　　Besides，Iwantedafullexplanationmyself。Finally（oh，yes，Iseeyoufellowsgrinningandwinking），Marywasnotthere，andthisyoungladyratherinterestedme。IdecidedthatIwouldhavefiveminutes’talkwithher；thenIwouldrunbackandfindMary。
　　"`Imustbegathousandpardons，’Ibegan，`butItookyouforsomebodyelse。"
　　"`Oh，ofcourse，’saidshe，withashrug，`it’salwaysthat。’
　　"`Youappearincredulous，’saidI，ratheroffended。
　　"`Well，andifIam？’saidshe。
　　"Myfeelingswerehurt。IproducedMary’ssecondnote。
　　"`IfIcantrusttoyourdiscretion，I’llprovewhatIsay，’I
　　remarkedinanettledtone。
　　"`Ishallbeverycurioustoheartheproof，sir，andIwillbemostdiscreet，’shesaid。Shewaspouting，buthereyesdanced。
　　Really，shelookedverypretty——although，ofcourse，IwouldnotforamomentcompareherwithLadyMary。
　　"`Alady，’saidI，`wassokindastotellmetoseekherherethismorning。’
　　"`Oh，asifIbelievedthat!’
　　"Iwaspiqued。
　　"`There’stheproof，’Icried，flingingthenoteintoherlap。
　　"Shetookitup，glancedatit，andgavealittleshriek。
　　"`Wheredidyougetthis？’
　　"`Why，fromtheheadwaiter。’
　　"`Oh，thefool!’shecried。`It’smine。’
　　"`Yours？nonsense!Hegavemethatandanotherlastnight。’
　　"`Oh，thestupidity!Theywerefor——theywerenotforyou。Theywerefor——someonewhoistoarrive。’
　　"Ipointedatthesignatureandgasped，`M。!DoyousignM。？’
　　"`Yes；myname’s——mynamebeginswithM。Oh，ifI’donlyseenthatwaiterthismorning!Oh，theidiot!’
　　"ThenIbelieveIswore。
　　"`Madame，’saidI，`I’mruined!Noharmisdonetoyou——I’mamanofhonor——butI’mruined。Onthestrengthofyourwretchednotes，madame，I’vecutthegirlIlovebestintheworld——
　　cutherdead——dead——dead!’
　　"`What？Thatyoungladyinthe————Oh，youthoughttheywerefromher？Oh，Isee？How——how——oh，howveryamusing!’Andtheheartlesslittlewretchwentoffintoanotherpealoflaughter。
　　"`Youpretendednottoknowher!Oh，dear!oh，dear!’andherlaughterechoedamongthetreesagain。`Isawherlookingatyou，andyouateonlikeapig!Oh，dear!oh，dear!’
　　"`Stoplaughing!’saidIsavagely。
　　"`Oh，I’mverysorry，butIcan’t。Whatascrapeyou’vegointo!
　　Oh，me!’Andshewipedhereyes（theywereasblueashercloak）
　　withadelicatebitofahandkerchief。
　　"`Youshan’tlaugh，’saidI。`Whowereyournotesfor？’
　　"`SomebodyIexpected。Hehasn’tcome。Thewaitertookyouforhim，Isuppose。Ineverthoughtofhisbeingsostupid。Oh，whatabruteshemusthavethoughtyou!’Andshebegantolaughagain。
　　"Ihadhadenoughofit。Ihatebeinglaughedat。
　　"`Ifyougoonlaughing，’saidI，`I’llkissyouagain。’
　　"Thethreatwasafailure；shedidnotappearatallalarmed。
　　"`Notyou!’shesaid，laughingworsethanever。
　　"IshouldlikeyoufellowstounderstandthatmyheartneverwaveredinitsallegiancetoLadyMary——myconscienceisquiteclearastothat——butIhadpledgedmyword。IcaughtthattiresomegirlroundthewaistandIkissedheronce——I’msureofonce，anyhow。Shegaspedandstruggled，laughingstill。Then，withasuddenchangeofvoice，shecried，`Stop’，stop!’
　　"Ilethergo。Ilookedround。Wehadagalleryofspectators。
　　Ononesidestoodtheugly—headedvalet；ontheother，inattitudesofhorror，MaryandMissDibbs!
　　"`You’veruinedusbothnow，’saidthegirlinblue。
　　"Irosetomyfeetandwasabouttoexplain，whentheuglyfellowrushedatme，brandishingacane。Ihadquiteenoughtoarrangewithoutbeingbotheredbyhim。Icaughtthecaneinmylefthand，andwithmyrightIknockedhimdown。
　　"ThenIwalkeduptoLadyMary。ItooknoheedofMissDibbs’
　　presence；itwastoocriticalamomenttothinkoftrifles。
　　"`LadyMary，’saidI，`appearancesaresomuchagainstmethatyoucannotpossiblyattachtheslightestweighttothem。’
　　"`Sir，’saidshe，`Ihavenolongerthehonorofyouracquaintance。Ihaveonlytothankyouforhavinghadtheconsiderationnottorecognizemewhenwemetsounexpectedlyinthediningroom。Praycontinuetoshowmethesamefavor。’
　　"Withwhichpleasantlittlespeechsheturnedonherheel。Itwasclearthatshesuspectedmemostunjustly。Iturnedtothegirlinblue，butshewasbeforehandwithme。
　　"`Ah，IwishI’dneverseeyou，’shecried，`yougreat，stupidcreature!He[shepointedtotheprostratefigureoftheuglyservant]willtellFredericeverything。’
　　"`Come，’saidI，`_I_wasonlyanaccident；itwouldhavebeenjustasbadif————’
　　"AsIspokeIheardastepbehindme。Turninground，IfoundmyselffacetofacewiththeyoungmanwithwhomIhadcomeincollisionasIrushedthroughthehall。Hegazedattheservant——atme——atthegirlinblue。
　　"`Margaret!’heexclaimed，`whatisthe————’
　　"`Hush，hush!’shewhispered，pointingagaintotheservant。
　　"Isteppeduptohim，liftingmyhat：
　　"`Sir，’saidI，"kindlyinformmeifyouarethegentlemanwhowastocomefromEngland。’
　　"`CertainlyIcomefromEngland，’hesaid。
　　"`AndyououghttohavearrivedonWednesday？’
　　"`Yes，"heanswered。
　　"`Then，’saidI，`allIhavetosaytoyou，sir，is——thatIwishtothedevilyou’dkeepyourappointments。’AndIleftthem。
　　"That’swhyI’mnotmarried，boys。Where’smyglass？"
　　"Itisaverycuriousstory，"observedthecolonel。"Andwhoweretheyall——thegirlinblue——andtheyoungman——andtheuglyservant——andFrederic？"
　　"Colonel，"saidJack，withanairofdeepestmystery，"youwouldbeastoundedtohear。"
　　Weallprickedupourears。
　　"But，"hecontinued，"Iamnotatlibertytosay。"
　　Wesankbackinourchairs。
　　"Doyouknow？"askedthecolonel，andJacknoddedsolemnly。
　　"Outwithit!"wecried。
　　"Impossible!"saidJack。"ButImaytellyouthatthematterengagedtheattentionofmorethanoneoftheForeignOfficesofEurope。"
　　"GoodHeavens!"criedweinchorus，andJackdrankoffhiswhiskyandwater，rosetohisfeet，andputonhishat。
　　"PoordearMary!"saidhe，asheopenedthedoor。"Shenevergotoverit。"
　　Thecolonelshoutedafterhim：
　　"ThenwhatdidshemarryJenkynsoftheBluesfor？"
　　"Pique!"saidJack，andheshutthedoor。
　　III。
　　ACHANGEOFHEART。
　　ItwascommonknowledgethatSmuggwasengagedtobemarried。
　　Familiarityhadrobbedthefactofsomeofitssurprisingness，butthereremainedasubstratumofwonder，notremovedevenbythesightofhisbetrothed’sphotographandtheinformationthatshewasadistantrelativewhohadbeenbroughtupwithhimfrominfancy。ThefeaturesandtheexplanationbetweenthemrescuedSmuggfromtheincongruityofaromance，butweunitedintheopinionthattheladywasill—advisedinpreferringSmuggtosolitude。Still，forallthathewasaridiculouscreature，shedid，andhenceithappenedthatSmugg，desiringtoformafurnishingfund，organizedareadingparty，whichGayford，Tritton，Bird，andIatoncejoined。
　　EverymorningatnineSmugg，hisbreakfastfinished，clearedhiscornerofthetable，openedhisbooks，andassumedanexpectantair；soMarythemaidtoldus；wewereneverthereourselves；webreakfastedat9。30or10o’clock，andonlyabout11didweclearourcorners，lightourpipes，openourbooks，anddiscusstheprospectsoftheday。
　　Aswediscussedthem，Smuggconstruedinagentlebleat；whatheconstruedorwhyheconstruedit（seeingthatnobodyheededhim）
　　wasamystery；thewholeperformancewassimplyatributetoSmugg’sconscience，and，assuch，wasreceivedwithgood—natured，scornfultoleration。
　　Suddenlyachangecame。
　　OnemorningtherewasnoSmugg!Yethehadbreakfasted——Maryandaneggshelltestifiedtothateffect。Hereappearedat11。30，confusedandverywarm（hehadexceptionalpowersinthewayofbeingwarm）。Wesaidnothing，andhebegantobleatHorace。
　　InaminuteofsilenceIhappenedtohearwhatitwas：itreferredtoaladyofthenameofPyrrha；thelearnedmayidentifythepassageforthemselves。ThenextdaythesamethinghappenedexceptthatitwascloseontwelvebeforeSmuggappeared。GayfordandTrittontooknonoticeoftheaberration；
　　BirdcongratulatedSmuggontheincreaseddocilityofhisconscience。Iwatchedhimcloselyashewipedhisbrow——hewasverywarm，indeed。Athirdtimethescenewasenacted；mycuriositywasaroused；ImadeMarycallmeveryearly，andfromthewindowIespiedSmuggleavingthehouseat9。15，andgoingwithrapid，furtivestepsalongthelittlepaththatledtooldDill’stinyfarm。Islippeddownstairs，boltedacupoftea，seizedapieceoftoast，andfollowedSmugg。Hewasoutofsight，butpresentlyImetJoeShanks，thebutcher’sson，whobroughtusourchops。Joewasastoutyoungman，abouttwenty—one，red—faced，burly，andgreasy。WeusedtohavemanyjokeswithJoe；evenSmugghadbeforenowbrokenamildshaftofclassicalwitonhim；infact，wemadeabuttofJoe，andhisgood—humored，muttonysmiletoldusthathethoughtitacompliment。
　　"SeenMr。Smuggasyoucamealong，Joe？"Iasked。
　　"Yes，sir。GonetowardDill’sfarm，sir。"
　　"Ah，Dill’sfarm!"
　　"Yes，sir。"
　　Thechop—ladenJoepassedon。Imendedmypace，andsoonfoundmyselfontheoutskirtsofDill’spremises。Ihadbeentherebefore；wehadallbeentherebefore。Dillhadadaughter。I
　　sawhernowinasunbonnetandlacedboots。ImaysayatoncethatBetsyDillwasverypretty，inafine，robuststyle，andallfourofusweredecidedlyenamoredofhercharms。Usuallywecourtedherinabody，andscrupulousfairnesswasobservedinthematterofseekingprivateinterviews。
　　Smugghadneverspokentoher——soweshouldallhavesworn。Butnowmywonderingeyessaw，oppositePyrrha（webeganfromthisdaytocallherPyrrha）thefigureofSmugg。Pyrrhawasleaningagainstabarn，onefootcrossedovertheother，herarmsakimbo，astringofherbonnetinhermouth，andherblueeyeslaughingfromunderlonglashes。Smuggstoodlimplyoppositeher，histrousersbaggingoverhishalf—bentknees，hishatinonehand，andintheotherahandkerchief，withwhich，fromtimetotime，hemoppedhisforehead。Icouldnothear（ofcourseIdidnotwishto）whattheyweresaying；indeed，Ihavemydoubtsiftheysaidanything；butpresentlySmuggmovedahesitatingstepnearer，whenPyrrha，withamerrylaugh，dartedbyhimandranaway，turningamockingfaceoverhershoulder。Smuggstoodstillforaminute，thenputonhishat，lookedathiswatch，andwalkedslowlyaway。
　　IdidnotkeepSmugg’ssecret；Ifeltundernoobligationtokeepit。Hedeservednomercy，andIexposedhimatbreakfastthatverymorning。ButIcouldnothelpbeingalittlesorryforhimwhenhecamein。Hebenthisheadundertheshowerofreproach，chaff，andgibing；hedidnottrytoexcusehimself；hesimplyopenedhisbookattheoldplace，andweallshoutedtheoldode，substituting"Betsa"for"Pyrrha"whereverwecould。
　　Still，inspiteofourjocularity，weallfeltanunder—currentofrealanger。
　　WeconsideredthatSmuggwastreatingPyrrhaverybadly——Smugg，anengagedman，agedthirty，presumablypasttheheatandcarelessnessofyouth。Weglowedwithasenseofherwrongs，andthatafternoonweeachwentforasolitarywalk——atleast，westartedforasolitarywalk——buthalfanhourlaterweallmetatthegateleadingtoDill’smeadows，and，inanexplosionoflaughter，acknowledgedoursecretdesignofmeetingPyrrha，andopeninghereyestoSmugg’siniquity。
　　Thegreatsurprisewasstilltocome。Ateleventhenextmorning，whenwehadjustsatdowntowork，andSmugghadslidintotheroomwiththestealthy，ashamedairheworeafterhismorningexcursions，Maryappeared，andtoldusthatJoeShanks，thebutcher’sson，hadcomewiththechops，andwantedtospeaktous。Wehailedthediversion，andhadJoeshownin。Gayfordpushedthebeerjugandaglasstowardhim，saying：
　　"Helpyourself，Joe。"
　　Joedrankadraught，wipedhismouthonhisbluesleeve，andremarked：
　　"Nooffense，gentlemen。"
　　"None，"saidGayford，whoseemedtohaveassumedthechairmanshipofthemeeting。
　　Joe，seemingslightlyembarrassed，clearedhisthroat，andlookedroundagain。
　　"Nooffense，gentlemen，"herepeated；"butshe’sbinwalkingwithmetwoyearscomeMichaelmas。"
　　Apausefollowed。Thenthechairmanexpressedtheviewsofthemeeting。
　　"Thedeuceshehas!"saidhe。
　　"OffANDon，"addedJoecandidly。
　　IlookedatSmugg。Hehadshrunkdownlowinhisseat，andrestedhisheadonhishand。Hisfacewashalfhidden；buthewasverywarm，andthedropstrickledfromhisforeheaddownhisnose。
　　"Itseemstobeagooddealoff，"saidthechairmanjudicially。
　　"Nooffense，"saidJoe；"butIdon’ttakeitkindofyou，gentlemen。I’veservedyoufaithful。"
　　"Thechopsareexcellent，"concededthechairman。
　　"AndIdon’ttakeitkind。"
　　"Developyourcomplaint，"saidthechairman。"Imean，what’stherow，Joe？"
　　"Sinceyougentlemencameshe’sbeensaucy，"saidJoe。
　　"Idonotsee，"observedthechairman，"thatanythingcanbedone。IfPyrrhaprefersus，Joe[hetreatedthecasecollectively，whichwascertainlywise]，whatthen？"
　　"Begpardon，sir？"
　　"Oh，Imeaniftheladyprefersus，Joe？"
　　Joebroughthisfatfistdownonthetablewithathump。
　　"Itaintasifyoumeantit，"saidhedoggedly；"youjustunsettlesof’er。Is’poseIcan’thelpyetalking，andlaughing，andwalkingalongof’er，butyouaintnocalltokiss’er。"
　　Anotherpauseensued。ThechairmanheldaconsultationwithTritton，whosatonhisrighthand。
　　"Themeeting，"saidGayford，"willproceedtodeclare，onebyone，whetherithasever——andifso，howoften——kissedthelady。
　　Iwillbegin。Never!Mr。Tritton？"
　　"Never!"saidTritton。
　　"Mr。Bird？"
　　"Never!"saidBird。
　　"Mr。Robertson？"
　　"Never!"saidI。
　　"Mr。Smugg？"
　　"Iseed’imthisverymorning!"criedJoe，likeanaccusingangel。
　　Smuggtookhishandawayfromhisface，aftergivinghiswetbrowonelastdab。HelookedatGayfordandatJoe，butsaidnothing。
　　"Mr。Smugg？"repeatedthechairman。
　　"Mr。Smugg，"interposedTrittonsuavely，"probablyfeelshimselfinadifficulty。Thesecretisnot，perhaps，entirelyhisown。"
　　Weallnodded。
　　"WeenterapleaofnotguiltyforMr。Smugg，"observedthechairmangravely。
　　"Iseed’imdoit，"saidJoe。
　　Noonespoke。Joefinishedhisbeer，pulledhisforelock，andturnedonhisheel。SuddenlySmuggburstintospeech。Hecouldhardlyformhiswords，andtheyjostledoneanotherinthebreathlessconfusionofhisutterance。
　　"I——I——you’venoright。Isaynothing。IfIchoose，Ishall——noonehasarighttostopme。IfIloveher——ifshedoesn’tmind——
　　Isaynothing——nothingatall。Iwon’thearaword。IshalldoasIlike。"
　　Joehadpausedtohearhim，andnowstoodlookingathiminwonder。Thenhesteppedquicklyuptothetable，and，leaningacross，askedinaharshvoice：
　　"Youmeanhonest，doyou，byher？You’dmakeheryourwife，wouldyou？"
　　Smugg，lookingstraightinfrontofhim，answered：
　　"Yes。"
　　Joedrewback，touchedhisforelockagain，andsaid：
　　"Thenit’sfairfighting，sir，beggingyourpardon；andnooffense。Butthegirlwasminefirst，sir。"
　　ThenGayfordinterposed。
　　"Mr。Smugg，"saidhe，"youtellJoe，here，thatyou’dmarrythislady。MayIaskhowyoucan——when————"
　　ButforonceSmuggwasabletosilenceoneofhispupils。Hearosefromhisseat，andbroughthishandheavilydownonGayford’sshoulder。
　　"Holdyourtongue!"hecried。"ImustanswertoGod，butI
　　needn’tanswertoyou。"
　　Joelookedathimwithroundeyes，and，withalastsalute，slowlywentout。Noneofusspoke，andpresentlySmuggopenedhisThucydides。
　　Formypart，ItookveryconsiderableinterestinPyrrha’ssideofthequestion。Iamusedmyselfbyconstructingafancy—bornloveofPyrrha’sforhersocialsuperior，andifhehadbeenoneofourselves，Ishouldhaveseennoabsurdity。ButSmuggrefusedaltogethertofitintomyframe。TherewasnoglamouraboutSmugg；and，totellthetruth，Ishouldhavethoughtthatanygirl，beherstationwhatitmight，facedwiththealternativeofSmuggandJoe，wouldhavechosenJoe。Inmyopinion，PyrrhawasmerelyamusingherselfwithSmugg，andIwasrathercomfortedbythisreversaloftheordinaryroles。Still，Icouldnotrestinconjecture，andmycuriosityledmeuptoDill’slittlefarmontheafternoonofthedayofJoe’ssuddenappearance。Theothersletmegoalone。DirectlyafterdinnerSmuggwenttohisbedroom，andtheotherthreehadgoneofftoplaylawntennisatthevicar’s。Ilitmypipe，andstrolledalongtillI
　　reachedthegatethatledtoDill’smeadow。HereIwaitedtillPyrrhashouldappear。
　　AsIsatandsmoked，avoicestrucksuddenlyonmyear——thevoiceofMrs。Dill，raisedtoshrillnessbyanger。
　　"Beoffwithyou，"shesaid，"andmindyourways，orworse’llhappentoyou。’Ere’syourswitch。"
　　AfteramomentPyrrhaturnedthecorner，andcametowardme。Shewaswipinghereyeswiththecornerofherapron，andcarriedinherhandalighthazelswitch，whichsheusedtoguideerrantcows。Shewasalmostatthegatebeforeshesawme。Shestarted，andblushedveryred。
　　"Lor!isityou，Mr。Robertson？"shesaid。
　　Inodded，butdidnotmove。
　　"Letmepass，sir，please。I’venotimetostop。"
　　"What，nottotalktome，Pyrrha——Betsy，Imean？"
　　"Motherdon’tlikemetalkingtogentlemen。"
　　"You’vebeencrying，"saidI。
　　"No，Ihaven’t，"saidPyrrha，quiteviolently。
　　"Motherbeenscoldingyou？"
　　"Iwishyou’dletmeby，sir。"
　　"Whatfor？"
　　"It’sallyourfault，"burstoutPyrrha。"Ididn’twantyou；no，norhim，either。Whatdoyoucomeandgetmeintotroublefor？"
　　"Ihaven’tdoneanything，Betsy。Comenow!"
　　"Youaintasbadassome，"sheconceded，adimsmilebreakingthroughtheclouds。
　　"YoumeanSmugg，"Iobserved。
　　"Whotoldyou？"shecried。
　　"Joe，"saidI。
　　"Seemshe’sgotalottosaytoeverybody，"shecommentedresentfully。
　　"Ah!hetoldyourmother，didhe？Well，youknowyoushouldn’t，Betsy。"
　　"Iwon’tneverspeaktohimagain——ImeantIwon’tever[thegrammarianisabroad]，Mr。Robertson。"
　　"What!NottoJoe？"
　　"Joe!No；thatSmugg。"
　　"ButJoetoldofyou。"
　　"Well，anditwashisright。"
　　Ifshethoughtso，Ihadnomoretosay。Notionsdifferamongdifferentsets。ButIpressedthepointalittle。
　　"Joegotyouyourscolding。"
　　Now，Ican’tsaywhetherIdidordidnotemphasizethelastwordunduly，butPyrrhablushedagain，andremarked：
　　"Youwanttoknowtoomuch，sir，byadeal。"
　　SoIleftthataspecttothesubject，andcontinued：
　　"IsupposeitwasforlettingMr。Smuggkissyou？"
　　"Icouldn’thelpit。"
　　Ihadgreatdoubtsofthat——shecouldhavetackledSmuggwithonehand；butIsaidpleasantly：
　　"Nomorecouldhe，I’msure。"
　　Pyrrhacastanalarmedglanceatthehouse。
　　"Oh，I’llbecareful，"Ilaughed。"Yes，andI’llletyougo。
　　Butjusttellme，Betsy，whatdoyouthinkofMr。Smugg？"
　　"Idon’tthinkthatofhim!"saidshe，snappingherprettyredfingers。"Joe’udmaketenofhim。IwishJoe’dtalktohimabit。"
　　Theendcamesoonafterthis，and，inspiteofourattitude（I
　　speakofusfour，notofSmugg）ofwhole—heartedness，Ithinkitwasratherashocktousall，whenJoeannouncedonemorning，onhisarrivalwiththechops，thathewastobemadeahappymanatthechurchnextday。Smuggwasnotintheroom，andtherestofuscongratulatedJoe，andmadeupapurseforhimtogivePyrrha，withourbestrespects，andhebowedhimselfout，mightilypleased，andasseveratingthatwewererealgentlemen。Thenwesatandlookedatthetable。
　　"Itrobsusofaresource，"pronouncedGayford，onceagainmakinghimselfthemouthpieceoftheparty。Weallnodded，andfilledfreshpipes。
　　PresentlySmuggsidledin。Wehadseenlittleofhimthelastweek；savewhenhewasconstruinghehadtakenrefugeinhisownroom。Whenhecameinnow，Gayfordwaggedhisheadsignificantlyatme；apparently，itwasmytasktobellthecat。
　　Irose，andwenttothemantelpiece。Smugghadsatdownatthetable，andmybackwastohim。Itookamatchfromthebox，struckit，andappliedittomypipe，and，punctuatingmywordswithinterspersedpuffings，Isaidcarelessly：
　　"Bytheway，Smugg，Pyrrha’sgoingtobemarriedtoJoeShanksto—morrow。"
　　Idon’tknowhowhelooked。Ikeptmyfacefromhim，but，afteralongminute’spause，heanswered：
　　"Thankyou，Robertson。It’sAeschylusthismorning，isn’tit？"
　　Wehadanoisyeveningthatnight。Isupposewefeltbelowpar，andwantedcheeringup。Anyhow，wemadeanexpeditiontothegrocer’s，andamazedhimwithademandforhisbestchampagneandhischoicestsherry。Wecarriedthegoodshomeinabag，andsatdowntoarevel。Smugghadsomebreadandcheeseinhisownroom；hesaidthathehadletterstowrite。Wedinedlargely，anddrankstillmorelargely；thenwesang，andatlast——itwasnearontwelve，aterriblehourforthatneighborhood——wemadeourway，amidmuchboisterousnessandhorseplay，tobed；whereI，atleast，wasasleepinfiveminutes。
　　Asthechurchclockstrucktwo，Iawoke。IheardasoundofmovementinSmugg’sroomnextdoor。Ilayandlistened。
　　Presentlyhisdooropened，andhecreakedgentlydownstairs。I
　　sprangoutofbedandlookedoutofthewindow。Smugg，fullydressed，wasglidingalongthepathtowardDill’sfarm。Someimpulse——curiosityonly，verylikely——mademejumpintomytrousers，seizeaflanneljacket，drawonapairofboots，andhastilyfollowhim。WhenIgotoutsidehewasvisibleinthemoonlight，mountingthepathaheadofme。Heheldonhiswaytowardthefarm，Ifollowing。Whenhereachedtheyardhestoppedforamoment，andseemedtopeerupatthewindows，whichwerealldarkandunresponsive。IstoodasquietasIcould，twentyyardsfromhim，andmovedcautiouslyonagainwhenheturnedtotherightandpassedthroughthegateintothemeadows。
　　IsawnosignsofPyrrha。Smuggheldonhiswayacrossthemeadows，downtowardthestream；andsuddenlythethoughtleapedtomybrainthatthepoorfoolmeanttodrownhimself。ButI
　　couldhardlybelieveit。Surelyhemustmerelybetakingadesperatelover’sramble，alastsadvisittothescenesofhissilly，irrationalinfatuation。IfIwentuptohim，Ishouldlookafool，too；soIhungbehind，readytoturnuponhimifneedappeared。