[BILLYsitsdownonedgeofchair。LORETTAseatsherselfbytable。Billy,withoutrising,jerkshischairforwardtilltheyarefacingeachother,hiskneestouchinghers。Heyearnstowardher。Shemovesbackherchairslightly。]
  BILLY。[Withsupremeconfidence。]That’swhatIcametoseeyoufor——togetengagedoveragain。
  [BILLYhudgeschairforwardandtriestotakeherhand。]
  [LORETTAhudgesherchairback。]
  BILLY。[Drawingoutlargesilverwatchandlookingatit。]Nowlookhere,Loretta,Ihaven’tanytimetolose。I’vegottoleaveforthattrainintenminutes。AndIwantyoutosettheday。
  LORETTA。Butwe’renotengaged,Billy。Sotherecan’tbeanysettingoftheday。
  BILLY。[Withconfidence。]Butwe’regoingtobe。[Suddenlybreakingout。]Oh,Loretta,ifyouonlyknewhowI’vesuffered。
  ThatfirstnightIdidn’tsleepawink。Ihaven’tsleptmucheversince。[Hudgeschairforward。]Iwalkthefloorallnight。
  [Solemnly。]Loretta,Idon’teatenoughtokeepacanarybirdalive。Loretta……[Hudgeschairforward。]
  LORETTA。[Hudgingherchairbackmaternally。]Billy,whatyouneedisatonic。HaveyouseenDoctorHaskins?
  BILLY。[Lookingatwatchandevincingsignsofhaste。]Loretta,whenagirlkissesaman,itmeanssheisgoingtomarryhim。
  LORETTA。Iknowit,Billy。But……[Sheglancestowardlettersontable。]CaptainKittdoesn’twantmetomarryyou。Hesays……[Shetakesletterandbeginstoopenit。]
  BILLY。NevermindwhatCaptainKittsays。Hewantsyoutostayandbecompanyforyoursister。Hedoesn’twantyoutomarrymebecauseheknowsshewantstokeepyou。
  LORETTA。Daisydoesn’twanttokeepme。Shewantsnothingbutmyownhappiness。Shesays——[Shetakessecondletterfromtableandbeginstoopenit。]
  BILLY。NevermindwhatDaisysays—
  LORETTA。[Takingthirdletterfromtableandbeginningtoopenit。]AndMarthasays—
  BILLY。[Angrily。]DarnMarthaandthewholeboilingofthem!
  LORETTA。[Reprovingly。]Oh,Billy!
  BILLY。[Defensively。]Darnisn’tswearing,andyouknowitisn’t。
  [Thereisanawkwardpause。Billyhaslostthethreadoftheconversationandhasvacantexpression。]
  BILLY。[Suddenlyrecollecting。]NevermindCaptainKitt,andDaisy,andMartha,andwhattheywant。Thequestionis,whatdoyouwant?
  LORETTA。[Appealingly。]Oh,Billy,I’msounhappy。
  BILLY。[Ignoringtheappealandpressinghomethepoint。]Thethingis,doyouwanttomarryme?[Helooksathiswatch。]Justanswerthat。
  LORETTA。Aren’tyouafraidyou’llmissthattrain?
  BILLY。Darnthetrain!
  LORETTA。[Reprovingly。]Oh,Billy!
  BILLY。[Mostirascibly。]Darnisn’tswearing。[Plaintively。]
  That’sthewayyoualwaysputmeoff。Ididn’tcomeallthewayhereforatrain。Icameforyou。Nowjustanswermeonething。
  Doyouwanttomarryme?
  LORETTA。[Firmly。]No,Idon’twanttomarryyou。
  BILLY。[Withassurance。]Butyou’vegotto,justthesame。
  LORETTA。[Withdefiance。]Gotto?
  BILLY。[Withunshakenassurance。]That’swhatIsaid——gotto。
  AndI’llseethatyoudo。
  LORETTA。[Blazingwithanger。]Iamnolongerachild。Youcan’tbullyme,BillyMarsh!
  BILLY。[Coolly。]I’mnottryingtobullyyou。I’mtryingtosaveyourreputation。
  LORETTA。[Faintly。]Reputation?
  BILLY。[Nodding。]Yes,reputation。[Hepausesforamoment,thenspeaksverysolemnly。]Loretta,whenawomankissesaman,she’sgottomarryhim。
  LORETTA。[Appalled,faintly。]Gotto?
  BILLY。[Dogmatically。]Itisthecustom。
  LORETTA。[Brokenly。]Andwhen……a……awomankissesamananddoesn’t……marryhim……?
  BILLY。Thenthereisascandal。That’swhereallthescandalsyouseeinthepaperscomefrom。
  [BILLYlooksatwatch。]
  [LORETTAinsilentdespair。]
  LORETTA。[Inabasement。]Youareagoodman,Billy。[Billyshowsthathebelievesit。]AndIamaverywickedwoman。
  BILLY。No,you’renot,Loretta。Youjustdidn’tknow。
  LORETTA。[Withagleamofhope。]Butyoukissedmefirst。
  BILLY。Itdoesn’tmatter。Youletmekissyou。
  LORETTA。[Hopedyingdown。]Butnotatfirst。
  BILLY。Butyoudidafterwardandthat’swhatcounts。Youletmeyouinthegrape—arbour。Youletme—
  LORETTA。[Withanguish]Don’t!Don’t!
  BILLY。[Relentlessly。]——kissyouwhenyouwereplayingthepiano。
  Youletmekissyouthatdayofthepicnic。AndIcan’trememberallthetimesyouletmekissyougoodnight。
  LORETTA。[Beginningtoweep。]Notmorethanfive。
  BILLY。[Withconviction。]Eightatleast。
  LORETTA。[Reproachfully,stillweeping。]Youtoldmeitwasallright。
  BILLY。[Emphatically。]Soitwasallright——untilyousaidyouwouldn’tmarrymeafterall。Thenitwasascandal——onlynooneknowsityet。Ifyoumarrymenooneeverwillknowit。[Looksatwatch。]I’vegottogo。[Standsup。]Where’smyhat?
  LORETTA。[Sobbing。]Thisisawful。
  BILLY。[Approvingly。]Youbetit’sawful。Andthere’sonlyonewayout。[Looksanxiouslyaboutforhat。]Whatdoyousay?
  LORETTA。[Brokenly。]Imustthink。I’llwritetoyou。
  [Faintly。]Thetrain?Yourhat’sinthehall。
  BILLY。[Looksatwatch,hastilytriestokissher,succeedsonlyinshakinghand,startsacrossstagetowardleft。]Allright。
  Youwritetome。Writeto—morrow。[Stopsforamomentindoor—
  wayandspeaksverysolemnly。]Remember,Loretta,theremustbenoscandal。
  [Billygoesout。]
  [LORETTAsitsinchairquietlyweeping。Slowlydrieseyes,risesfromchair,andstands,undecidedastowhatshewilldonext。]
  [NEDentersfromright,peeping。DiscoversthatLORETTAisalone,andcomesquietlyacrossstagetoher。WhenNEDcomesuptohershebeginsweepingagainandtriestoturnherheadaway。NED
  catchesbothherhandsinhisandcompelshertolookathim。Sheweepsharder。]
  NED。[Puttingonearmprotectinglyaroundhershoulderanddrawinghertowardhim。]There,there,littleone,don’tcry。
  LORETTA。[Turningherfacetohisshoulderlikeatiredchild,sobbing。]Oh,Ned,ifyouonlyknewhowwickedIam。
  NED。[Smilingindulgently。]Whatisthematter,littleone?Hasyourdearlybelovedsisterfailedtowritetoyou?[LORETTA
  shakeshead。]HasHemingwaybeenbullyingyou?[LORETTAshakeshead。]Thenitmusthavebeenthatcallerofyours?[Longpause,duringwhichLORETTA’sweepinggrowsmoreviolent。]Tellmewhat’sthematter,andwe’llseewhatIcando。[Helightlykissesherhair——solightlythatshedoesnotknow。]
  LORETTA。[Sobbing。]Ican’t。Youwilldespiseme。Oh,Ned,I
  amsoashamed。
  NED。[Laughingincredulously。]Letusforgetallaboutit。I
  wanttotellyousomethingthatmaymakemeveryhappy。Myfondesthopeisthatitwillmakeyouhappy,too。Loretta,Iloveyou—
  LORETTA。[Utteringasharpcryofdelight,thenmoaning。]Toolate!
  NED。[Surprised。]Toolate?
  LORETTA。[Stillmoaning。]Oh,whydidI?[NEDsomewhatstiffens。]Iwassoyoung。Ididnotknowtheworldthen。
  NED。Whatisitallaboutanyway?
  LORETTA。Oh,I……he……Billy……Iamawickedwoman,Ned。Iknowyouwillneverspeaktomeagain。
  NED。This……er……thisBilly——whathashebeendoing?
  LORETTA。I……he……Ididn’tknow。Iwassoyoung。I
  couldnothelpit。Oh,Ishallgomad,Ishallgomad!
  [NED’sencirclingarmgoeslimp。Hegentlydisengagesheranddepositsherinbigchair。]
  [LORETTAburiesherfaceandsobsafresh。]
  NED。[Twistingmoustachefiercely,regardingherdubiously,hesitatingamoment,thendrawingupchairandsittingdown。]I……Idonotunderstand。
  LORETTA。[Wailing。]Iamsounhappy!
  NED。[Inquisitorially。]Whyunhappy?
  LORETTA。Because……he……hewantstomarryme。
  NED。[Hisfacebrighteninginstantly,leaningforwardandlayingahandsoothinglyonhers。]Thatshouldnotmakeanygirlunhappy。Becauseyoudon’tlovehimisnoreason——[Abruptlybreakingoff。]Ofcourseyoudon’tlovehim?[LORETTAshakesherheadandshouldersvigorously。]What?
  LORETTA。[Explosively。]No,Idon’tloveBilly!Idon’twanttoloveBilly!
  NED。[Withconfidence。]Becauseyoudon’tlovehimisnoreasonthatyoushouldbeunhappyjustbecausehehasproposedtoyou。
  LORETTA。[Sobbing。]That’sthetrouble。IwishIdidlovehim。
  Oh,IwishIweredead。
  NED。[Growingcomplacent。]Nowmydearchild,youareworryingyourselfovertrifles。[Hissecondhandjoinsthefirstinholdingherhands。]Womendoiteveryday。Becauseyouhavechangedyourmind,ordidnotknowyoumind,becauseyouhave——touseanunnecessarilyharshword——jiltedaman—
  LORETTA。[Interrupting,raisingherheadandlookingathim。]
  Jilted?OhNed,ifthatwereaall!
  NED。[Hollowvoice。]All!
  [NED’shandsslowlyretreatfromhers。Heopenshismouthasthoughtospeakfurther,thenchangeshismindandremainssilent。]
  LORETTA。[Protestingly。]ButIdon’twanttomarryhim!
  NED。ThenIshouldn’t。
  LORETTA。ButIoughttomarryhim。
  NED。OUGHTtomarryhim?[LORETTAnods。]Thatisastrongword。
  LORETTA。[Nodding。]Iknowitis。[Herlipsaretrembling,butshestrivesforcontrolandmanagestospeakmorecalmly。]Iamawickedwoman。Aterriblewickedwoman。NooneknowshowwickedI
  am……exceptBilly。
  NED。[Starting,lookingatherqueerly。]He……Billyknows?
  [LORETTAnods。Hedebateswithhimselfamoment。]Tellmeaboutit。Youmusttellmeallofit。
  LORETTA。[Faintly,asthoughabouttoweepagain。]Allofit?
  NED。[Firmly。]Yes,allofit。
  LORETTA。[Haltingly。]And……will……you……ever……
  forgive……me?
  NED。[Drawingalong,breath,desperately。]Yes,I’llforgiveyou。Goahead。
  LORETTA。Therewasnoonetotellme。Wewerewitheachothersomuch。Ididnotknowanythingoftheworld……then。[Pauses。]
  NED。[Impatiently。]Goon。
  LORETTA。IfIhadonlyknown。[Pauses。]
  NED。[Bitinghislipandclenchinghishands。]Yes,yes。Goon。
  LORETTA。Weweretogetheralmosteveryevening。
  NED。[Savagely。]Billy?
  LORETTA。Yes,ofcourse,Billy。Wewerewitheachothersomuch……IfIhadonlyknown……Therewasnoonetotellme……
  Iwassoyoung……[Breaksdowncrying。]
  NED。[Leapingtohisfeet,explosively。]Thescoundrel!
  LORETTA。[Liftingherhead。]Billyisnotascoundrel……He……he……isagoodman。
  NED。[Sarcastically。]Isupposeyou’llbetellingmenextthatitwasallyourfault。[LORETTAnods。]What!
  LORETTA。[Steadily。]Itwasallmyfault。Ishouldneverhavelethim。Iwastoblame。
  NED。[Pacesupanddownforaminute,stopsinfrontofher,andspeakswithresignation。]Allright。Idon’tblameyouintheleast,Loretta。Andyouhavebeenveryhonest。Itis……er……commendable。ButBillyisright,andyouarewrong。Youmustgetmarried。
  LORETTA。[Indim,far—awayvoice。]ToBilly?
  NED。Yes,toBilly。I’llseetoit。Wheredoeshelive?I’llmakehim。Ifhewon’tI’ll……I’llshoothim!
  LORETTA。[Cryingoutwithalarm。]Oh,Ned,youwon’tdothat?
  NED。[Sternly。]Ishall。
  LORETTA。ButIdon’twanttomarryBilly。
  NED。[Sternly。]Youmust。AndBillymust。Doyouunderstand?
  Itistheonlything。
  LORETTA。That’swhatBillysaid。
  NED。[Triumphantly。]Yousee,Iamright。
  LORETTA。Andif……ifIdon’tmarryhim……therewillbe……scandal?
  NED。[Calmly。]Yes,therewillbescandal。
  LORETTA。That’swhatBillysaid。Oh,Iamsounhappy!
  [LORETTAbreaksdownintoviolentweeping。]
  [NEDpacesgrimlyupanddown,nowandagainfiercelytwistinghismoustache。]
  LORETTA。[Faceburied,sobbingandcryingallthetime。]
  Idon’twanttoleaveDaisy!Idon’twanttoleaveDaisy!WhatshallIdo?WhatshallIdo?HowwasItoknow?Hedidn’ttellme。Nobodyelseeverkissedme。[NEDstopscuriouslytolisten。
  Ashelistenshisfacebrightens。]Ineverdreamedakisscouldbesoterrible……until……untilhetoldme。Heonlytoldmethismorning。
  NED。[Abruptly。]Isthatwhatyouarecryingabout?
  LORETTA。[Reluctantly。]N—no。
  NED。[Inhopelessvoice,thebrightnessgoneoutofhisface,abouttobeginpacingagain。]Thenwhatareyoucryingabout?
  LORETTA。BecauseyousaidIhadtomarryBilly。Idon’twanttomarryBilly。Idon’twanttoleaveDaisy。Idon’tknowwhatI
  want。IwishIweredead。
  NED。[Nervinghimselfforanothereffort。]Nowlookhere,Loretta,besensible。Whatisthisaboutkisses?Youhaven’ttoldmeeverythingafterall。
  LORETTA。I……Idon’twanttotellyoueverything。
  NED。[Imperatively。]Youmust。
  LORETTA。[Surrendering。]Well,then……mustI?
  NED。Youmust。
  LORETTA。[Floundering。]He……I……we……Ilethim,andhekissedme。
  NED。[Desperately,controllinghimself。]Goon。
  LORETTA。Hesayseight,butIcan’tthinkofmorethanfivetimes。
  NED。Yes,goon。
  LORETTA。That’sall。
  NED。[Withvastincredulity。]All?
  LORETTA。[Puzzled。]All?
  NED。[Awkwardly。]Imean……er……nothingworse?
  LORETTA。[Puzzled。]Worse?Asthoughtherecouldbe。Billysaid—
  NED。[Interrupting。]When?
  LORETTA。Thisafternoon。Justnow。Billysaidthatmy……our……our……ourkisseswereterribleifwedidn’tgetmarried。
  NED。Whatelsedidhesay?
  LORETTA。Hesaidthatwhenawomanpermittedamantokisshershealwaysmarriedhim。Thatitwasawfulifshedidn’t。Itwasthecustom,hesaid;andIsayitisabad,wickedcustom,andithasbrokenmyheart。Ishallneverbehappyagain。IknowIamterrible,butIcan’thelpit。Imusthavebeenbornwicked。
  NED。[Absent—mindedlybringingoutacigaretteandstrikingamatch。]DoyoumindifIsmoke?[Comingtohimselfagain,andflingingawaymatchandcigarette。]Ibegyourpardon。Idon’twanttosmoke。Ididn’tmeanthatatall。WhatImeanis……
  [HebendsoverLORETTA,catchesherhandsinhis,thensitsonarmofchair,softlyputsonearmaroundher,andisabouttokissher。]
  LORETTA。[Withhorror,repulsinghim。]No!No!
  NED。[Surprised。]What’sthematter?
  LORETTA。[Agitatedly。]WouldyoumakemeawickederwomanthanI
  am?
  NED。Akiss?
  LORETTA。Therewillbeanotherscandal。Thatwouldmaketwoscandals。
  NED。TokissthewomanIlove……ascandal?
  LORETTA。Billylovesme,andhesaidso。
  NED。Billyisajoker……orelseheisasinnocentasyou。
  LORETTA。Butyousaidsoyourself。
  NED。[Takenaback。]I?
  LORETTA。Yes,yousaidityourself,withyourownlips,nottenminutesago。Ishallneverbelieveyouagain。
  NED。[Masterfullyputtingarmaroundheranddrawinghertowardhim。]AndIamajoker,too,andaverywickedman。
  Nevertheless,youmusttrustme。Therewillbenothingwrong。
  LORETTA。[Preparingtoyield。]Andno……scandal?
  NED。Scandalfiddlesticks。Loretta,Iwantyoutobemywife。
  [Hewaitsanxiously。]
  [JACKHEMINGWAY,infishingcostume,appearsindoorwaytorightandlookson。]
  NED。Youmightsaysomething。
  LORETTA。Iwill……if……
  [ALICEHEMINGWAYappearsindoorwaytoleftandlookson。]
  NED。[Insuspense。]Yes,goon。
  LORETTA。IfIdon’thavetomarryBilly。
  NED。[Almostshouting。]Youcan’tmarrybothofus!
  LORETTA。[Sadly,repulsinghimwithherhands。]Then,Ned,I
  cannotmarryyou。
  NED。[Dumbfounded。]W—what?
  LORETTA。[Sadly。]BecauseIcan’tmarrybothofyou。
  NED。Boshandnonsense!
  LORETTA。I’dliketomarryyou,but……
  NED。Thereisnothingtopreventyou。
  LORETTA。[Withsadconviction。]Oh,yes,thereis。YousaidyourselfthatIhadtomarryBilly。Yousaidyouwoulds—s—shoothimifhedidn’t。
  NED。[Drawinghertowardhim。]Nevertheless……
  LORETTA。[Slightlyholdinghimoff。]Anditisn’tthecustom……what……Billysaid?
  NED。No,itisn’tthecustom。Now,Loretta,willyoumarryme?
  LORETTA。[Poutingdemurely。]Don’tbeangrywithme,Ned。[Hegathersherintohisarmsandkissesher。Shepartiallyfreesherself,gasping。]Iwishitwerethecustom,becausenowI’dhavetomarryyou,Ned,wouldn’tI?
  [NEDandLORETTAkissasecondtimeandprofoundly。]
  [JACKHEMINGWAYchuckles。]
  [NEDandLORETTA,startled,butstillineachother’sarms,lookaround。NEDlookssillilyatALICEHEMINGWAY。LORETTAlooksatJACKHEMINGWAY。]
  LORETTA。Idon’tcare。
  CURTAIN
  THEBIRTHMARK
  SKETCHBYJACKLONDONwrittenforRobertandJuliaFitzsimmonsSCENE——OneoftheclubroomsoftheWestBayAthleticClub。Nearcentrefrontisalargetablecoveredwithnewspapersandmagazines。Atleftapunching—bagapparatus。Atright,againstwall,adesk,onwhichrestsadesk—telephone。Dooratreartowardleft。Onwallsareframedpicturesofpugilists,conspicuousamongwhichisoneofRobertFitzsimmons。Appropriatefurnishings,etc。,suchasfoils,clubs,dumb—bellsandtrophies。
  [EnterMAUDSYLVESTER。]
  [Sheisdressedasaman,ineveningclothes,preferablyaTuxedo。
  Inherhandisacard,andunderherarmapaper—wrappedparcel。
  Shepeepsaboutcuriouslyandadvancestotable。Sheistimorousandexcited,elatedandatthesametimefrightened。Hereyesaredancingwithexcitement。]
  MAUD。[Pausingbytable。]Notasoulsawme。Iwonderwhereeverybodyis。AndthatbigbrotherofminesaidIcouldnotgetin。[Shereadsbackofcard。]"Hereismycard,Maudie。Ifyoucanuseit,goahead。Butyouwillnevergetinsidethedoor。I
  considermybetasgoodaswon。"[Lookingup,triumphantly。]Youdo,doyou?Oh,ifyoucouldseeyourlittlesisternow。Heresheis,inside。[Pauses,andlooksabout。]SothisistheWestBayAthleticClub。Nowomenallowed。Well,hereIam,ifIdon’tlooklikeone。[Stretchesoutonelegandthentheother,andlooksatthem。Leavingcardandparcelontable,shestrutsaroundlikeaman,looksatpicturesofpugilistsonwalls,readingaloudtheirnamesandmakingappropriateremarks。ButshestopsbeforetheportraitofFitzsimmonsandreadsaloud。]
  "RobertFitzsimmons,thegreatestwarriorofthemall。"[Claspshands,andlookingupatportraitmurmurs。]Oh,youdear!
  [Continuesstruttingaround,imitatingwhatsheconsidersareaman’sstrideandswagger,returnstotableandproceedstounwrapparcel。]Well,I’llgooutlikeagirl,ifIdidcomeinlikeaman。[Dropswrappingpaperontableandholdsupawoman’slongautomobilecloakandamotorbonnet。Issuddenlystartledbysoundofapproachingfootstepsandglancesinafrightenedwaytowarddoor。]Mercy!Herecomessomebodynow![Glancesaboutherinalarm,dropscloakandbonnetonfloorclosetotable,seizesahandfulofnewspapers,andrunstolargeleatherchairtorightoftable,wheresheseatsherselfhurriedly。Onepapersheholdsupbeforeher,hidingherfaceasshepretendstoread。
  Unfortunatelythepaperisupsidedown。Theotherpaperslieonherlap。]
  [EnterROBERTFITZSIMMONS。]
  [Helooksabout,advancestotable,takesoutcigarettecaseandisabouttoselectone,whenhenoticesmotorcloakandbonnetonfloor。Helayscigarettecaseontableandpicksthemup。Theystrikehimasprofoundlycuriousthingstobeinaclubroom。HelooksatMAUD,thenseescardontable。Hepicksitupandreachittohimself,thenlooksatherwithcomprehension。Hiddenbyhernewspaper,sheseesnothing。Helooksatcardagainandreadsandspeaksinanaside。]
  FITZSIMMONS。"Maudie。JohnH。Sylvester。"ThatmustbeJackSylvester’ssisterMaud。[FITZSIMMONSshowsbyhisexpressionthatheisgoingtoplayajoke。Tossingcloakandbonnetunderthetableheplacescardinhisvestpocket,selectsachair,sitsdown,andlooksatMAUD。Henotespaperisupsidedown,ishugelytickled,andlaughssilently。]Hello![Newspaperisagitatedbyslighttremor。Hespeaksmoreloudly。]Hello![Newspapershakesbadly。Hespeaksveryloudly。]Hello!
  MAUD。[Peepingathimovertopofpaperandspeakinghesitatingly。]H—h—hello!
  FITZSIMMONS。[Gruffly。]Youareaqueerone,readingapaperupsidedown。
  MAUD。[Loweringnewspaperandtryingtoappearatease。]It’squiteatrick,isn’tit?Ioftenpractiseit。I’mrealcleveratit,youknow。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Grunts,thenadds。]SeemstomeIhaveseenyoubefore。
  MAUD。[Glancingquicklyfromhisfacetoportraitandbackagain。]Yes,andIknowyou——YouareRobertFitzsimmons。
  FITZSIMMONS。IthoughtIknewyou。
  MAUD。Yes,itwasoutinSanFrancisco。Mypeoplestilllivethere。I’mjust——ahem——doingNewYork。
  FITZSIMMONS。ButIdon’tquiterememberthename。
  MAUD。Jones——HarryJones。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Hugelydelighted,leapingfromchairandstridingovertoher。]Sure。[Slapsherresoundinglyonshoulder。]
  [Sheisnearlycrushedbytheweightoftheblow,andatthesametimeshocked。Shescramblestoherfeet。]
  FITZSIMMONS。Gladtoseeyou,Harry。[Hewringsherhand,sothatithurts。]Gladtoseeyouagain,Harry。[Hecontinueswringingherhandandpumpingherarm。]
  MAUD。[Strugglingtowithdrawherhandandfinallysucceeding。
  Hervoiceisratherfaint。]Ye—es,er……Bob……er……
  gladtoseeyouagain。[Shelooksruefullyatherbruisedfingersandsinksintochair。Then,recollectingherpart,shecrossesherlegsinamannishway。]
  FITZSIMMONS。[Crossingtodeskatright,againstwhichheleans,facingher。]YouwereawildyoungrascalinthoseSanFranciscodays。[Chuckling。]Lord,Lord,howitallcomesbacktome。
  MAUD。[Boastfully。]Iwaswild——some。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Grinning。]Ishouldsay!RememberthatnightI
  putyoutobed?
  MAUD。[Forgettingherself,indignantly。]Sir!
  FITZSIMMONS。Youwere……er……drunk。
  MAUD。Ineverwas!
  FITZSIMMONS。Surelyyouhaven’tforgottenthatnight!Youbeganwithdroppingchampagnebottlesoutoftheclubwindowsontheheadsofthepeopleonthesidewalk,andyouwoundupbyassaultingacabman。AndletmetellyouIsavedyoufromagoodlickingrightthere,andsquareditwiththepolice。Don’tyouremember?
  MAUD。[Noddinghesitatingly。]Yes,itisbeginningtocomebacktome。Iwasabittightthatnight。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Exultantly。]Abittight!Why,beforeIcouldgetyoutobedyouinsistedontellingmethestoryofyourlife。
  MAUD。DidI?Idon’trememberthat。
  FITZSIMMONS。Ishouldsaynot。Youwerepastrememberinganythingbythattime。Youhadyourarmsaroundmyneck—
  MAUD。[Interrupting。]Oh!
  FITZSIMMONS。Andyoukeptrepeatingoverandover,"Bob,dearBob。"
  MAUD。[Springingtoherfeet。]Oh!Ineverdid![Recollectingherself。]PerhapsImusthave。Iwasatriflewildinthosedays,Iadmit。ButI’mwisenow。I’vesowedmywildoatsandsteadieddown。
  FITZSIMMONS。I’mgladtohearthat,Harry。Youweretearingoffaprettyfastpaceinthosedays。[Pause,inwhichMAUDnods。]
  Stillpunchthebag?
  MAUD。[Inquickalarm,glancingatpunchingbag。]No,I’vegotoutofthehangofit。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Reproachfully。]Youhaven’tforgottenthatright—
  and—left,arm,elbowandshouldermovementItaughtyou?
  MAUD。[Withhesitation。]N—o—o。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Movingtowardbagtoleft。]Then,comeon。
  MAUD。[Risingreluctantlyandfollowing。]I’dratherseeyoupunchthebag。I’djustloveto。
  FITZSIMMONS。Iwill,afterward。Yougotoitfirst。
  MAUD。[Eyeingthebaginalarm。]No;you。I’moutofpractice。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Lookingathersharply。]Howmanydrinkshaveyouhadto—night?
  MAUD。Notaone。Idon’tdrink——thatis——er——onlyoccasionally。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Indicatingbag。]Thengotoit。
  MAUD。No;ItellyouIamoutofpractice。I’veforgottenitall。Yousee,Imadeadiscovery。
  [Pauses。]
  FITZSIMMONS。Yes?
  MAUD。I——I——yourememberwhatalightvoiceIalwayshad——almostsoprano?
  [FITZSIMMONSnods。]
  MAUD。Well,Idiscovereditwasaperfectfalsetto。
  [FITZSIMMONSnods。]
  MAUD。I’vebeenpractisingiteversince。Experts,inanotherroom,wouldswearitwasawoman’svoice。Sowouldyou,ifyouturnedyourbackandIsang。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Whohasbeenlaughingincredulously,nowbecomessuspicious。]Lookhere,kid,Ithinkyouareanimpostor。YouarenotHarryJonesatall。
  MAUD。Iam,too。
  FITZSIMMONS。Idon’tbelieveit。Hewasheavierthanyou。
  MAUD。Ihadthefeverlastsummerandlostalotofweight。
  FITZSIMMONS。YouaretheHarryJonesthatgotsousesdandhadtobeputtobed?
  MAUD。Y—e—s。
  FITZSIMMONS。ThereisonethingIrememberverydistinctly。
  HarryJoneshadabirthmarkonhisknee。[Helooksatherlegssearchingly。]
  MAUD。[Embarrassed,thenresolvingtocarryitout。]Yes,righthere。[Sheadvancesrightlegandtouchesit。]
  FITZSIMMONS。[Triumphantly。]Wrong。Itwastheotherknee。
  MAUD。Ioughttoknow。
  FITZSIMMONS。Youhaven’tanybirthmarkatall。
  MAUD。Ihave,too。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Suddenlyspringingtoherandattemptingtoseizeherleg。]Thenwe’llproveit。Letmesee。
  MAUD。[Inapanicbacksawayfromhimandresistshisattempts,untilgrinninginanasidetotheaudience,hegivesover。She,inanasidetoaudience。]Fancyhiswantingtoseemybirthmark。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Bullying。]Thentakeagoatthebag。[Sheshakesherhead。]You’renotHarryJones。
  MAUD。[Approachingpunchingbag。]Iam,too。
  FITZSIMMONS。Thenhitit。
  MAUD。[Resolvingtoattemptit,hitsbagseveralniceblows,andthenisstruckonthenosebyit。]Oh!
  [Recoveringherselfandrubbinghernose。]ItoldyouIwasoutofpractice。Youpunchthebag,Bob。
  FITZSIMMONS。Iwill,ifyouwillshowmewhatyoucandowiththatwonderfulsopranovoiceofyours。
  MAUD。Idon’tdare。Everybodywouldthinktherewasawomanintheclub。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Shakinghishead。]No,theywon’t。They’veallgonetothefight。There’snotasoulinthebuilding。
  MAUD。[Alarmed,inaweakvoice。]Not——a——soul——in——thebuilding?
  FITZSIMMONS。Notasoul。OnlyyouandI。
  MAUD。[Startinghurriedlytowarddoor。]ThenImustgo。
  FITZSIMMONS。What’syourhurry?Sing。
  MAUD。[Turningbackwithnewresolve。]Letmeseeyoupunchthebag,——er——Bob。
  FITZSIMMONS。Yousingfirst。
  MAUD。No;youpunchfirst。
  FITZSIMMONS。Idon’tbelieveyouareHarry—
  MAUD。[Hastily。]Allright,I’llsing。Yousitdownoverthereandturnyourback。
  [FITZSIMMONSobeys。]
  [MAUDwalksovertothetabletowardright。Sheisabouttosing,whenshenoticesFITZSIMMONS’cigarettecase,picksitup,andinanasidereadshisnameonitandspeaks。]
  MAUD。"RobertFitzsimmons。"ThatwillprovetomybrotherthatI
  havebeenhere。
  FITZSIMMONS。Hurryup。
  [MAUDhastilyputscigarettecaseinherpocketandbeginstosing。]
  SONG
  [DuringthesongFITZSIMMONSturnshisheadslowlyandlooksatherwithgrowingadmiration。]
  MAUD。Howdidyoulikeit?
  FITZSIMMONS。[Gruffly。]Rotten。Anybodycouldtellitwasaboy’svoice—
  MAUD。Oh!
  FITZSIMMONS。Itisroughandcoarseanditcrackedoneveryhighnote。
  MAUD。Oh!Oh!
  [Recollectingherselfandshrugginghershoulders。]Oh,verywell。Nowlet’sseeifyoucandoanybetterwiththebag。
  [FITZSIMMONStakesoffcoatandgivesexhibition。]
  [MAUDlooksoninanecstasyofadmiration。]
  MAUD。[Ashefinishes。]Beautiful!Beautiful!
  [FITZSIMMONSputsoncoatandgoesoverandsitsdownneartable。]
  Nothinglikethebagtolimberoneup。Ifeellikeafightingcock。Harry,let’sgooutonatoot,youandI。
  MAUD。Wh—a—a—t?
  FITZSIMMONS。Atoot。Youknow——oneofthoserip—snortingnightsyouusedtomake。
  MAUD。[Emphatically,asshepicksupnewspapersfromleatherchair,sitsdown,andplacesthemonherlap。]I’lldonothingofthesort。I’ve——I’vereformed。
  FITZSIMMONS。Youusedtojoy—rideliketheverydevil。
  MAUD。Iknowit。
  FITZSIMMONS。Andyoualwayshadaprettygirlortwoalong。
  MAUD。[Boastfully,inmannish,fashion。]Oh,Istillhavemyfling。Doyouknowany——well,——er,——nicegirls?
  FITZSIMMONS。Sure。
  MAUD。Putmewise。
  FITZSIMMONS。Sure。YouknowJackSylvester?
  MAUD。[Forgettingherself。]He’smybrother—
  FITZSIMMONS。[Exploding。]What!
  MAUD。——In—law’sfirstcousin。
  FITZSIMMONS。Oh!
  MAUD。SoyouseeIdon’tknowhimverywell。Ionlymethimonce——attheclub。Wehadadrinktogether。
  FITZSIMMONS。Thenyoudon’tknowhissister?
  MAUD。[Starting。]Hissister?I——Ididn’tknowhehadasister。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Enthusiastically。]She’sapeach。Aqueen。A
  littlebitofallright。A——aloo—loo。
  MAUD。[Flattered。]Sheis,isshe?
  FITZSIMMONS。She’sascream。Yououghttogetacquaintedwithher。
  MAUD。[Slyly。]Youknowher,then?
  FITZSIMMONS。Youbet。
  MAUD。[Aside。]Oh,ho![ToFITZSIMMONS。]Knowherverywell?
  FITZSIMMONS。I’vetakenheroutmoretimesthanIcanremember。
  You’lllikeher,I’msure。
  MAUD。Thanks。Tellmesomemoreabouther。
  FITZSIMMONS。Shedressesabitloud。Butyouwon’tmindthat。
  Andwhateveryoudo,don’ttakehertoeat。
  MAUD。[Hidingherchagrin。]Whynot?
  FITZSIMMONS。Ineversawsuchanappetite—
  MAUD。Oh!
  FITZSIMMONS。It’sfairsickening。Shemusthaveatape—worm。
  Andshethinksshecansing。
  MAUD。Yes?
  FITZSIMMONS。Rotten。Youcandobetteryourself,andthat’snotsayingmuch。She’sanicegirl,reallysheis,butsheistheblacksheepofthefamily。Funny,isn’tit?
  MAUD。[Weakvoice。]Yes,funny。
  FITZSIMMONS。HerbrotherJackisallright。Buthecan’tdoanythingwithher。She’sa——a—
  MAUD。[Grimly。]Yes。Goon。
  FITZSIMMONS。Aholyterror。Sheoughttobeinareformschool。
  MAUD。[Springingtoherfeetandslammingnewspapersinhisface。]Oh!Oh!Oh!Youliar!Sheisn’tanythingofthesort!
  FITZSIMMONS。[Recoveringfromtheonslaughtandmakingbelieveheisangry,advancingthreateninglyonher。]NowI’mgoingtoputaheadonyou。Youyounghoodlum。
  MAUD。[Allalarmandcontrition,backingawayfromhim。]Don’t!
  Pleasedon’t!I’msorry!Iapologise。I——Ibegyourpardon,Bob。OnlyIdon’tliketoheargirlstalkedaboutthatway,even—
  —evenifitistrue。Andyououghttoknow。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Subsidingandresumingseat。]You’vechangedalot,Imustsay。
  MAUD。[Sittingdowninleatherchair。]ItoldyouI’dreformed。
  Letustalkaboutsomethingelse。Whyisitgirlslikeprize—
  fighters?Ishouldthink——ahem——Imeanitseemstomethatgirlswouldthinkprize—fightershorrid。
  FITZSIMMONS。Theyaremen。
  MAUD。Butthereissomuchcrookednessinthegame。Onehearsaboutitallthetime。
  FITZSIMMONS。Therearecrookedmenineverybusinessandprofession。Thebestfightersarenotcrooked。
  MAUD。I——er——Ithoughttheyallfakedfightswhentherewasenoughinit。
  FITZSIMMONS。Notthebestones。
  MAUD。Didyou——er——everfakeafight?
  FITZSIMMONS。[Lookingathersharply,thenspeakingsolemnly。]
  Yes。Once。
  MAUD。[Shocked,speakingsadly。]AndIalwaysheardofyouandthoughtofyouastheonecleanchampionwhoneverfaked。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Gentlyandseriously。]Letmetellyouaboutit。
  ItwasdowninAustralia。Ihadjustbeguntofightmywayup。
  ItwaswitholdBillHobartoutatRushcuttersBay。Ithrewthefighttohim。
  MAUD。[Repelled,disgusted。]Oh!Icouldnothavebelieveditofyou。
  FITZSIMMONS。Letmetellyouaboutit。Billwasanoldfighter。
  Notanoldman,youknow,buthe’dbeeninthefightinggamealongtime。Hewasaboutthirty—eightandagamermanneverenteredthering。Buthewasinhardluck。Youngerfighterswerecomingup,andhewasbeingcrowdedout。Atthattimeitwasn’toftenhegotafightandthepursesweresmall。BesidesitwasadroughtyearinAustralia。Youdon’tknowwhatthatmeans。Itmeansthattherangersarestarved。Itmeansthatthesheeparestarvedanddiebythemillions。Itmeansthatthereisnomoneyandnowork,andthatthemenandwomenandkiddiesstarve。
  BillHobarthadamissusandthreekidsandatthetimeofhisfightwithmetheywereallstarving。Theydidnothaveenoughtoeat。Doyouunderstand?Theydidnothaveenoughtoeat。AndBilldidnothaveenoughtoeat。Hetrainedonanemptystomach,whichisnowaytotrainyou’lladmit。Duringthatdroughtyeartherewaslittleenoughmoneyinthering,buthehadfailedtogetanyfights。Hehadworkedatlong—shoring,ditch—digging,coal—shovelling——anything,tokeepthelifeinthemissusandthekiddies。Thetroublewasthejobsdidn’tholdout。Andtherehewas,matchedtofightwithme,behindinhisrent,atougholdchopping—block,butweakfromlackoffood。Ifhedidnotwinthefight,thelandlordwasgoingtoputthemintothestreet。
  MAUD。Butwhywouldyouwanttofightwithhiminsuchweakcondition?
  FITZSIMMONS。Ididnotknow。Ididnotlearntillattheringsidejustbeforethefight。Itwasinthedressingrooms,waitingourturntogoon。Billcameoutofhisroom,readyforthering。"Bill,"Isaid——infun,youknow。"Bill,I’vegottodoyouto—night。"Hesaidnothing,buthelookedatmewiththesaddestandmostpitifulfaceIhaveeverseen。Hewentbackintohisdressingroomandsatdown。
  "PoorBill!"oneofmysecondssaid。"He’sbeenfairstarvingtheselastweeks。AndI’vegotitstraight,thelandlordchuckshimoutifhelosesto—night。"
  Thenthecallcameandwewentintothering。Billwasdesperate。
  Hefoughtlikeatiger,amadman。Hewasfaircrazy。HewasfightingformorethanIwasfightingfor。Iwasarisingfighter,andIwasfightingforthemoneyandtherecognition。
  ButBillwasfightingforlife——forthelifeofhislovedones。
  Well,conditiontold。Thestrengthwentoutofhim,andIwasfreshasadaisy。"What’sthematter,Bill?"Isaidtohiminaclinch。"You’reweak。""Iain’thadabittoeatthisday,"heanswered。Thatwasall。
  Bytheseventhroundhewasaboutallin,hangingonandpantingandsobbingforbreathintheclinches,andIknewIcouldputhimoutanytime。Idrewbackmyrightfortheshort—armjabthatwoulddothebusiness。Heknewitwascoming,andhewaspowerlesstopreventit。
  "FortheloveofGod,Bob,"hesaid;and——[Pause。]
  MAUD。Yes?Yes?
  FITZSIMMONS。Iheldbacktheblow。Wewereinaclinch。
  "FortheloveofGod,Bob,"hesaidagain,"themissesandthekiddies!"
  AndrightthereIsawandknewitall。Isawthehungrychildrenasleep,andthemissussittingupandwaitingforBilltocomehome,waitingtoknowwhethertheyweretohavefoodtoeatorbethrownoutinthestreet。
  "Bill,"Isaid,inthenextclinch,solowonlyhecouldhear。
  "Bill,remembertheLaBlancheswing。Giveittome,hard。"
  Webrokeaway,andhewastotteringandgroggy。Hestaggeredawayandstartedtowhirltheswing。Isawitcoming。ImadebelieveIdidn’tandstartedafterhiminarush。Biff!Itcaughtmeonthejaw,andIwentdown。Iwasyoungandstrong。Icouldeatpunishment。Icouldhavegotupthefirstsecond。ButIlaythereandletthemcountmeout。AndmakingbelieveIwasstilldazed,Iletthemcarrymetomycornerandworktobringmeto。
  [Pause。]
  Well,Ifakedthatfight。
  MAUD。[Springingtohimandshakinghishand。]ThankGod!Oh!
  Youareaman!A——a——ahero!
  FITZSIMMONS。[Dryly,feelinginhispocket。]Let’shaveasmoke。
  [Hefailstofindcigarettecase。]
  MAUD。Ican’ttellyouhowgladIamyoutoldmethat。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Gruffly。]Forgetit。[Helooksontable,andfailstofindcigarettecase。Looksathersuspiciously,thencrossestodeskatrightandreachesfortelephone。]
  MAUD。[Curiously。]Whatareyougoingtodo?
  FITZSIMMONS。Callthepolice。
  MAUD。Whatfor?
  FITZSIMMONS。Foryou。
  MAUD。Forme?
  FITZSIMMONS。YouarenotHarryJones。Andnotonlyareyouanimpostor,butyouareathief。
  MAUD。[Indignantly。]Howdareyou?
  FITZSIMMONS。Youhavestolenmycigarettecase。
  MAUD。[Rememberingandtakenaback,pullsoutcigarettecase。]
  Hereitis。
  FITZSIMMONS。Toolate。Itwon’tsaveyou。Thisclubmustbekeptrespectable。Thievescannotbetolerated。
  MAUD。[Growingalarm。]Butyouwon’thavemearrested?
  FITZSIMMONS。Icertainlywill。
  MAUD。[Pleadingly。]Please!Please!
  FITZSIMMONS。[Obdurately。]IseenoreasonwhyIshouldnot。
  MAUD。[Hurriedly,inapanic。]I’llgiveyouareason——a——agoodone。I——I——amnotHarryJones。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Grimly。]Agoodreasoninitselftocallinthepolice。
  MAUD。Thatisn’tthereason。I’m——a——Oh!I’msoashamed。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Sternly。]Ishouldsayyououghttobe。[Reachesfortelephonereceiver。]
  MAUD。[Inrushofdesperation。]Stop!I’ma——I’ma——agirl。
  There![Sinksdowninchair,buryingherfaceinherhands。]
  [FITZSIMMONS,hangingupreceiver,grunts。]
  [MAUDremoveshandsandlooksathimindignantly。Asshespeaksherindignationgrows。]
  MAUD。IonlywantedyourcigarettecasetoprovetomybrotherthatIhadbeenhere。I——I’mMaudSylvester,andyounevertookmeoutonce。AndI’mnotablacksheep。AndIdon’tdressloudly,andIhaven’ta——atapeworm。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Grinningandpullingoutcardfromvestpocket。]
  IknewyouwereMissSylvesterallthetime。
  MAUD。Oh!Youbrute!I’llneverspeaktoyouagain。
  FITZSIMMONS。[Gently。]You’llletmeseeyousafelyoutofhere。
  MAUD。[Relenting。]Ye—e—s。[Sherises,crossestotable,andisabouttostoopformotorcloakandbonnet,butheforestallher,holdscloakandhelpsherintoit。]Thankyou。[Shetakesoffwig,fluffsherownhairbecomingly,andputsonbonnet,lookingeveryinchaprettyyounggirl,readyforanautomobileride。]
  FITZSIMMONS。[Who,allthetime,watchinghertransformation,hasbeengrowingbashful,nowhandingherthecigarettecase。]Here’sthecigarettecase。Youmayk—k—keepit。
  MAUD。[Lookingathim,hesitates,thentakesit。]Ithankyou——
  er——Bob。Ishalltreasureitallmylife。[Heisveryembarrassed。]Why,Idobelieveyou’rebashful。Whatisthematter?
  FITZSIMMONS。[Stammering。]Why——I——you——Youareagirl——and——a—
  —a——deucedprettyone。
  MAUD。[Takinghisarm,readytostartfordoor。]Butyouknewitallalong。
  FITZSIMMONS。Butit’ssomehowdifferentnowwhenyou’vegotyourgirl’sclotheson。
  MAUD。Butyouweren’tabitbashful——ornice,when——you——you——
  [Blurtingitout。]Weresoanxiousaboutbirthmarks。
  [Theystarttomakeexit。]
  CURTAIN