CHAPTERI:THEASSOCIATEDSHADESTAKEACTION
TheHouse—boatoftheAssociatedShades,formerlylocatedupontheRiverStyx,asthereadermaypossiblyremember,hadbeentornfromitsmooringsandnavigatedoutintounknownseasbythatvengefulpirateCaptainKidd,aidedandabettedbysomeofthemostruffianlyinhabitantsofHades。Likeathiefinthenighthadtheycome,andfornobetterreasonthanthattheCaptainhadbeenunanimouslyvotedashadetooshadytoassociatewithself—respectingspiritshadtheymadeoffwiththehappyfloatingclub—houseoftheirbetters;andworstofall,withthem,byforceofcircumstancesoverwhichtheyhadnocontrol,hadsailedalsothefairQueenElizabeth,thespiritedXanthippe,andeveryotherstrong—mindedandbeautifulwomanofErebeansociety,wherebythementhereofwererendereddesolate。
"Ican’tstandit!"criedRaleigh,desperately,aswithhisaccustomedgracehepresidedoveraspecialmeetingoftheclub,calledonthebankoftheinkyStygianstream,atthepointwherethemissingboathadbeenmoored。"Thinkofit,gentlemen,ElizabethofEngland,CalpurniaofRome,OpheliaofDenmark,andeverypreciousjewelinoursocialdiademgone,vanishedcompletely;andwithwhom?
Kidd,ofallmenintheuniverse!Kidd,thepirate,theruffian——"
"Don’ttakeonso,mydearSirWalter,"saidSocrates,cheerfully。
"What’stheuseofgoingintohysterics?Youarenotawoman,andshouldeschewthatluxury。Xanthippeiswiththem,andI’llwarrantyouthatwhenthatcherishedspouseofminehasrecoveredfromtheeffectsofthesea,saythethirddayout,Kiddandhiscrewwillbewalkingtheplank,andvoluntarilyatthat。"
"ButtheHouse—boatitself,"murmuredNoah,sadly。"Thatwasmydelight。ItremindedmeinsomerespectsoftheArk。"
"Thelawofcompensationentersinthere,mydearCommodore,"
retortedSocrates。"Forme,withXanthippeabroadIdonotneedaclubtogoto;Icanstayathomeandtakemyhemlockinpeaceandstraight。Xanthippealwayscompelledmetodiluteitattherateofonequartofwatertothefinger。"
"Well,wedidn’tallmarryXanthippe,"putinCaesarfirmly,"thereforewearenotallsatisfiedwiththesituation。I,forone,quiteagreewithSirWalterthatsomethingmustbedone,andquickly。
Arewetosithereanddonothing,allowingthatfiendtokidnapourwiveswithimpunity?"
"Notatall,"interposedBonaparte。"Thetimeforactionhasarrived。Allthingsconsidered,heiswelcometoMarieLouise,buttheideaofJosephinegoingoffonacruiseofthatkindbreaksmyheart。"
"Noquestionaboutit,"observedDr。Johnson。"We’vegottodosomethingifitisonlyforthesakeofappearances。Thequestionreallyis,whatshallbedonefirst?"
"Iaminfavoroftakingadrinkasthefirststep,andconsideringthematteroffurtheractionafterwards,"suggestedShakespeare,anditwasthissuggestionthatmadethemembersunanimousuponthenecessityforimmediateaction,forwhentheassembledspiritscalledfortheirvariousfavoritebeveragesitwasfoundthattherewerenonetobehad,itbeingSunday,andalltheestablishmentswhereinliquidrefreshmentswerelicensedtobesoldbeingclosed——foratthetimeofwritingthelocalgovernmentofHadeswasinthehandsofthereformparty。
"What!"criedSocrates。"NothingbutStyxwaterandvitriol,Sundays?ThentheHouse—boatmustberecoveredwhetherXanthippecomeswithitornot。SirWalter,Iamforimmediateaction,afterall。Thisruffianshouldbecapturedatonceandmadeanexampleof。"
"Excuseme,Socrates,"putinLindleyMurray,"but,ah——prayspeakinGreekhereafter,willyou,please?WhenyouattemptEnglishyouhaveabeastlywayofworkinguptoclimaticprepositionswhichareoffensivetotheearofapurist。"
"Thisisnotimetodiscussstyle,Murray,"interposedSirWalter。
"SocratesmayspeakandspelllikeChaucerifhepleases;hemayevenparthisinfinitivesinthemiddle,forallIcare。Wehaveaffairsofgreatermomentinhand。"
"Wemustransacktheearth,"criedSocrates,"untilwefindthatboat。I’mdryasafish。"
"Therehegoesagain!"growledMurray。"Dryasafish!Whatfish,I’dliketoknow,isdry?"
"Redherrings,"retortedSocrates;andtherewasagreatlaughattheexpenseofthepurist,inwhichevenHamlet,whohadgrownmoreandmoremelancholyandmorbidsincetheabductionofOphelia,joined。
"Thenitissettled,"saidRaleigh;"somethingmustbedone。Andnowthepointis,what?"
"Reliefexpeditionshaveawayoffindingthings,"suggestedDr。
Livingstone。"Orratherofbeingfoundbythethingstheygoouttorelieve。Iproposethatwesendoutanumberofthem。IwilltakeAfrica;BonapartecanleadanexpeditionintoEurope;GeneralWashingtonmayhaveNorthAmerica;and——"
"Ibegpardon,"putinDr。Johnson,"buthaveyouanyidea,Dr。
Livingstone,thatCaptainKiddhasputwheelsonthisHouse—boatofours,andishavingitdraggedacrosstheSaharabymulesorcamels?"
"Nosuchabsurdideaeverenteredmyhead,"retortedtheDoctor。
"Doyou,then,believethathehasputrunnersonit,andisengagedinthepleasurablepastimeoftakingtheladiestobogganingdowntheAlps?"persistedthephilosopher。
"Notatall。Whydoyouask?"queriedtheAfricanexplorer,irritably。
"BecauseIwishtoknow,"saidJohnson。"Thatisalwaysmymotiveinaskingquestions。Youproposetogolookingforahouse—boatinCentralAfrica;yousuggestthatBonaparteleadanexpeditioninsearchofitthroughEurope——allofwhichstrikesmeasnonsense。
Thissearchistheworkofsea—dogs,notoflandlubbers。YoumightaswellaskConfuciustolookforitintheheartofChina。WhatearthlyusethereisinransackingtheearthIfailtosee。Whatweneedisanavelexpeditiontoscourthesea,unlessitisprettywellunderstoodinadvancethatwebelieveKiddhashauledtheboatoutofthewater,andisnowusingitforaroller—skatingrinkorabicycleacademyinOhio,orforsomeotherpurposeforwhichneitherhenoritwasdesigned。"
"Dr。Johnson’spointiswelltaken,"saidastrangerwhohadbeensittinguponthestring—pieceofthepier,quietly,butwithveryevidentinterest,listeningtothediscussion。Hewasatallandexcessivelyslendershade,"likeaspirtofsteamoutofateapot,"
asJohnsonputitafterwards,soslightheseemed。"Ihavenotthehonorofbeingamemberofthisassociation,"thestrangercontinued,"but,likeallwell—orderedshades,Iaspiretothedistinction,andIholdmyselfandmytalentsatthedisposalofthisclub。Ifancyitwillnottakeuslongtoestablishourinitialpoint,whichisthatthegrosspersonwhohassofoullyappropriatedyourpropertytohisownbaseusesdoesnotcontemplateremovingitfromitskeelandplacingitsomewhereinland。Alltheevidenceinhandpointstoaradicallydifferentconclusion,whichismysolereasonfordoubtingthevalueofthatconclusion。CaptainKiddisaseafarerbyinstinct,notalandsman。TheHouse—boatisnotahouse,butaboat;
thereforetheplacetolookforitisnot,asDr。Johnsonsowellsays,intheSaharaDesert,orontheAlps,orintheStateofOhio,butuponthehighsea,oruponthewaterfrontofsomeoneoftheworld’sgreatcities。"
"Andwhat,then,wouldbeyourplan?"askedSirWalter,impressedbythestranger’smanneraswellasbytheverymanifestreasoninallthathehadsaid。
"Thecharteringofasuitablevessel,fullyarmedandequippedforthepurposeofpursuit。AscertainwhithertheHouse—boathassailed,forwhatport,andstartatonce。HaveyouamodeloftheHouse—boatwithinreach?"returnedthestranger。
"Ithinknot;wehavethearchitect’splans,however,"saidthechairman。
"Wehad,Mr。Chairman,"saidDemosthenes,whowassecretaryoftheHouseCommittee,rising,"buttheyaregonewiththeHouse—boatitself。Theywerekeptinthesafeinthehold。"
Alookofannoyancecameintothefaceofthestranger。
"That’stoobad,"hesaid。"ItwasamostimportantpartofmyplanthatweshouldknowabouthowfasttheHouse—boatwas。"
"Humph!"ejaculatedSocrates,withill—concealedsarcasm。"Ifyou’lltakeXanthippe’swordforit,theHouse—boatwasthefastestyachtafloat。"
"Irefertothematterofspeedinsailing,"returnedthestranger,quietly。"Thequestionofitsethicalspeedhasnothingtodowithit。"
"Thedesignerofthecraftishere,"saidSirWalter,fixinghiseyesuponSirChristopherWren。"Itispossiblethathemaybeofassistanceinsettlingthatpoint。"
"Whathasallthisgottodowiththequestion,anyhow,Mr。
Chairman?"askedSolomon,risingimpatientlyandaddressingSirWalter。"Wearen’tpreparingforayacht—race,thatIknowof。
Nobody’safteracup,orachampionshipofanykind。Whatwedowantistogetourwivesback。TheCaptainhasn’ttakenmorethanhalfofminealongwithhim,butIaminterestednonetheless。TheQueenofShebaisonboard,andIamsomewhatinterestedinherfate。SoI
askyouwhatearthlyorunearthlyusethereisindiscussingthisquestionofspeedintheHouse—boat。Itstrikesmeasawofulwasteoftime,andratherunprecedentedtoo,thatweshouldsuspendallrulesandlistentothetalkofanentirestranger。"
"IdonotventuretodoubtthewisdomofSolomon,"saidJohnson,dryly,"butImustsaythatthegentleman’sremarksratherinterestme。"
"Ofcoursetheydo,"ejaculatedSolomon。"Heagreedwithyou。Thatoughttomakehiminterestingtoeverybody。Freaksusuallyare。"
"Thatisnotthereasonatall,"retortedDr。Johnson。"Coldwateragreeswithme,butitdoesn’tinterestme。WhatIdothink,however,isthatourunknownfriendseemstohaveagrasponthesituationbywhichweareconfronted,andhe’sgoingatthematterinhandinaverycomprehensivefashion。Imove,therefore,thatSolomonbelaidonthetable,andthattheprivilegesofthe——ah——ofthewharfbeextendedindefinitelytoourfriendonthestring—
piece。"
Themotion,havingbeenseconded,wasdulycarried,andthestrangerresumed。
"IwillexplainforthebenefitofhisMajestyKingSolomon,whosewisdomIhavealwaysadmired,andwhoseenduranceasthehusbandofthreehundredwiveshasfilledmewithwonder,"hesaid,"thatbeforestartinginpursuitofthestolenvesselwemustselectacraftofsomesortforthepurpose,andthatinselectingthepursueritisquiteessentialthatweshouldchooseavesselofgreaterspeedthantheonewedesiretoovertake。Itwouldhardlybeproper,Ithink,iftheHouse—boatcansailfourknotsanhourtoattempttooverhaulherwithalaunch,orothernauticalcraft,withamaximumspeedoftwoknotsanhour。"
"Hear!hear!"ejaculatedCaesar。
"Thatismyreason,yourMajesty,forinquiringastothespeedofyourlateclub—house,"saidthestranger,bowingcourteouslytoSolomon。"Now,ifSirChristopherWrencangivemehermeasurements,wecanverysoondetermineataboutwhatratesheisleavingusbehindunderfavorablecircumstances。"
"’Tisn’tnecessaryforSirChristophertodoanythingofthesort,"
saidNoah,risingandmanifestingsomewhatmoreheatthantheoccasionseemedtorequire。"AslongaswearediscussingthequestionIwilltakethelibertyofstatingwhatIhavenevermentionedbefore,thatthedesigneroftheHouse—boatmerelyappropriatedthelinesoftheArk。Shem,Ham,andJaphetwillbeartestimonytothetruthofthatstatement。"
"Therecanbenoquarrelonthatscore,Mr。Chairman,"assentedSirChristopher,withcuttingfrigidity。"Iamperfectlywillingtoadmitthatpracticallythetwovesselswerebuiltonthesamelines,butwithmodificationswhichwouldenablemyboattosailtwentymilestowindwardandbackinsixdays’lesstimethanitwouldhavetakentheArktocoverthesamedistance,anditcouldhavetakenallthewashoftheexcursionsteamersintothebargain。"
"Bosh!"ejaculatedNoah,angrily。"Stripyouroldtubdowntoaflyingballoon—jibandamarline—spike,andballasttheArkwithelephantsuntileveryinchofherreekedwithivoryandpeanuts,andshe’doutfootyouoneveryleg,inacycloneorazephyr。GivemetheArkandabreeze,andyourHouse—boatwouldn’tbewithinhailingdistanceofherfiveminutesafterthestartifshehad40,000squareyardsofcanvasspreadbeforeagale。"
"Thisdiscussioniswaxingveryunprofitable,"observedConfucius。
"Ifthesegentlemencannotbemadetoconfinethemselvestothesubjectthatisagitatingthisbody,Imovewecallintheauthoritiesandhavethemconfinedinthebottomlesspit。"
"Ididnotprecipitatethequarrel,"saidNoah。"Iwasmerelytryingtoassistourfriendonthestring—piece。IwasgoingtosaythatastheArkwasprobablyahundredtimesfasterthanSirChristopherWren’s——tub,whichhehimselfsayscantakecareofallthewashoftheexcursionboats,therebybecomingonhisownadmissionawash—
tub——"
"Order!order!"criedSirChristopher。
"Iwasgoingtosaythatthiswash—tubcouldbeoverhauledbyalaunchoranyothercraftwithaspeedofthirtyknotsamouth,"
continuedNoah,ignoringtheinterruption。
"TookhimfortydaystogettoMountArarat!"sneeredSirChristopher。
"Well,yourboatwouldhavegottheretwoweekssooner,I’lladmit,"
retortedNoah,"ifshe’dsprungaleakattherighttime。"
"GrantingthetruthofNoah’sstatement,"saidSirWalter,motioningtotheangryarchitecttobequiet——"notthatwetakeanysideintheissuebetweenthetwogentlemen,butmerelyforthesakeofargument—
—Iwishtoaskthestrangerwhohasbeengoodenoughtointeresthimselfinourtroublewhatheproposestodo——howcanyouestablishyourcourseincaseaboatwereprovided?"
"Alsovotvillbedhergost,ifany?"putinShylock。
Amurmurofdisapprobationgreetedthisremark。
"Thecostneednottroubleyou,sir,"saidSirWalter,indignantly,addressingthestranger;"youwillhavecarteblanche。"
"Denveareruint!"criedShylock,displayinghispalms,andshowingbythatactaselectassortmentofdiamondrings。
"Oh,"laughedthestranger,"thatisasimplematter。CaptainKiddhasgonetoLondon。"
"ToLondon!"criedseveralmembersatonce。"Howdoyouknowthat?"
"Bythis,"saidthestranger,holdingupthetinystubendofacigar。
"Tut—tut!"ejaculatedSolomon。"Whatchild’splayisthis!"
"No,yourMajesty,"observedthestranger,"itisnotchild’splay;
itisfact。ThatcigarendwasthrownasidehereonthewharfbyCaptainKiddjustbeforehesteppedonboardtheHouse—boat。"
"Howdoyouknowthat?"demandedRaleigh。"Andgrantingthetruthoftheassertion,whatdoesitprove?"
"Iwilltellyou,"saidthestranger。Andheatonceproceededasfollows。
CHAPTERII:THESTRANGERUNRAVELSAMYSTERYANDREVEALSHIMSELF
"Ihavemadeahobbyofthestudyofcigarends,"saidthestranger,astheAssociatedShadessettledbacktohearhisaccountofhimself。
"Frommyearliestyouth,whenIusedsurreptitiouslytoremovetheunsmokedendsofmyfather’scigarsandbreakthemup,and,inhiding,smoketheminanoldclaypipewhichIhadpresentedtomebyanancientsea—captainofmyacquaintance,Ihavebeeninterestedintobaccoinallforms,evenincludingtheseself—samedespisedunsmokedends;fortheyconveytomymindmessages,sentiments,farces,comedies,andtragedieswhichtoyourmindswouldneverbecomemanifestthroughtheiragency。"
Thecompanydrewclosertogetherandformedthemselvesinamorecompactmassaboutthespeaker。Itwasevidentthattheywerebeginningtofeelanunusualinterestinthisextraordinaryperson,whohadcomeamongthemunheraldedandunknown。EvenShylockstoppedcalculatingpercentagesforaninstanttolisten。
"Doyoumeantotellus,"demandedShakespeare,"thattheunsmokedstubofacigarwillsuggestthestoryofhimwhosmokedittoyourmind?"
"Ido,"repliedthestranger,withaconfidentsmile。"Takethisone,forinstance,thatIhavepickeduphereuponthewharf;ittellsmethewholestoryoftheintentionsofCaptainKiddatthemomentwhen,inutterdisregardofyourrights,hesteppedaboardyourHouse—boat,and,inhisusualpiraticalfashion,madeoffwithitintounknownseas。"
"Buthowdoyouknowhesmokedit?"askedSolomon,whodeemeditthepartofwisdomtobesuspiciousofthestranger。
"Therearetwocuriousindentationsinitwhichprovethat。Themarksoftwoteeth,withahiatusbetween,whichyouwillseeifyoulookclosely,"saidthestranger,handingthesmallbitoftobaccotoSirWalter,"makethatpointevidentbeyondperadventure。TheCaptainlostaneye—toothinoneofhislaterraids;itwasknockedoutbyamarine—spikewhichhadbeenhurledathimbyoneofthecrewofthetreasure—shipheandhisfollowershadattacked。Theadjacentteethwerebroken,butnotremoved。Thecigarendbearsthemarksofthosetwojaggedmolars,withthehiatus,which,asIhaveindicated,isduetothedestructionoftheeye—toothbetweenthem。Itisnotlikelythattherewasanothermaninthepirate’screwwithteethexactlylikethecommander’s,thereforeIsaytherecanbenodoubtthatthecigarendwasthatoftheCaptainhimself。"
"Veryinterestingindeed,"observedBlackstone,removinghiswigandfanninghimselfwithit;"butImustconfess,Mr。Chairman,thatinanyproperlyconstitutedlawcourtthisevidencewouldlongsincehavebeenruledoutasirrelevantandabsurd。Theideaoftwoorthreehundreddignifiedspiritslikeourselves,gatheredtogethertodeviseameansfortherecoveryofourpropertyandtherescueofourwives,yieldingthefloortothedeliveringofalecturebyanentirestrangeron’CigarEndsHeHasMet,’strikesmeasridiculousintheextreme。OfwhatearthlyinterestisittoustoknowthatthisorthatcigarwassmokedbyCaptainKidd?"
"Merelythatitwillhelpuson,yourhonor,todiscoverthewhereaboutsofthesaidKidd,"interposedthestranger。"Itisbytrifles,seemingtrifles,thatthegreatestdetectiveworkisdone。
MyfriendsLeCoq,Hawkshaw,andOldSleuthwillbearmeoutinthis,Ithink,howevermuchinotherrespectsourmethodsmayhavediffered。Theyleftnostoneunturnedinthepursuitofacriminal;
nodetail,howevertrifling,uncaredfor。Nomoreshouldweinthepresentinstanceoverlooktheminutestbitofevidence,howeverirrelevantandabsurdatfirstblushitmayappeartobe。ThetruthofwhatIsaywasveryeffectuallyproveninthestrangecaseoftheBrokedaletiara,inwhichIfiguredsomewhatconspicuously,butwhichhavenevermadepublic,becauseitinvolvesasecretaffectingtheintegrityofoneofthenoblestfamiliesintheBritishEmpire。I
reallybelievethatmysterywassolvedeasilyandatoncebecauseI
happenedtorememberthatthenumberofmywatchwas86507B。Howtrivialandyethowimportantitwas,towhatthentranspired,youwillrealizewhenItellyoutheincident。"
Thestranger’smannerwassoimpressivethattherewasaunanimousandsimultaneousmovementuponthepartofallpresenttogetupcloser,soasthemorereadilytohearwhathesaid,asaresultofwhichpooroldBoswellwaspushedoverboard,andfell,withaloudsplashintotheStyx。Fortunately,however,oneofCharon’spleasure—boatswascloseathand,andinashortwhilethedripping,sputteringspiritwasdrawnintoit,wrungout,andsenthometodry。
Theexcitementattendingthisdiversionhavingsubsided,Solomonasked:
"Whatwastheincidentofthelosttiara?"
"Iamabouttotellyou,"returnedthestranger;"anditmustbeunderstoodthatyouaretoldinthestrictestconfidence,for,asI
say,theincidentinvolvesastatesecretofgreatmagnitude。Inlife——inthemortallife——gentlemen,Iwasadetectivebyprofession,and,ifIdosayit,whoperhapsshouldnot,Iwasoneofthemostinterestingforpurelyliterarypurposesthathaseverbeenknown。I
didnotfinditnecessarytogoaboutsaying’Ha!ha!’asM。LeCoqwasaccustomedtodotoadvertisehiscleverness;neitherdidI
disguisemyselfasadrum—majorandhideunderakitchen—tableforthepurposeofsolvingamysteryinvolvingtheabductionofaparlorstove,afterthemannerofthetalentedHawkshaw。Bymentalconcentrationalone,withoutfireworksororchestralaccompanimentofanysortwhatsoever,didIgoaboutmybusiness,andforthatveryreasonmanyofmyfellow—sleuthswereforcedtogooutofrealdetectiveworkintothatlineofthebusinesswithwhichthestagehasfamiliarizedthemostofus——alineinwhichnothingbutstupidity,luck,andayellowwigisrequiredofhimwhopursuesit。"
"Thismanisanimpostor,"whisperedLeCoqtoHawkshaw。
"I’veknownthatallalongbythemoleonhisleftwrist,"returnedHawkshaw,contemptuously。
"IsuspectedittheminuteIsawhewasnotdisguised,"returnedLeCoq,knowingly。"Ihaveobservedthatthegreatestvillainslatterlyhavediscardeddisguises,asbeingtooeasilypenetrated,andthereforeofnoavail,andmerelyauselessexpense。"
"Silence!"criedConfucius,impatiently。"Howcanthegentlemanproceed,withallthisconversationgoingonintherear?"
HawkshawandLeCoqimmediatelysubsided,andthestrangerwenton。
"ItwasinthiswaythatItreatedthestrangecaseofthelosttiara,"resumedthestranger。"Mentalconcentrationuponseeminglyinsignificantdetailsaloneenabledmetobringaboutthedesiredresultsinthatinstance。Abriefoutlineofthecaseisasfollows:
Itwaslateoneeveningintheearlyspringof1894。TheLondonseasonwasatitsheight。Dances,fetesofallkinds,opera,andthetheatreswereinfullblast,whenallofasuddensocietywasparalyzedbyamostaudaciousrobbery。Adiamondtiaravaluedat50,000poundssterlinghadbeenstolenfromtheDuchessofBrokedale,andundercircumstanceswhichthrewsocietyitselfandeveryindividualinitundersuspicion——evenhisRoyalHighnessthePrincehimself,forhehaddancedfrequentlywiththeDuchess,andwasknowntobeagreatadmirerofhertiara。Itwasathalf—pasteleveno’clockatnightthatthenewsoftherobberyfirstcametomyears。
Ihadbeenspendingtheeveningaloneinmylibrarymakingnotesforasecondvolumeofmymemoirs,and,feelingsomewhatdepressed,IwasonthepointofgoingoutformyusualmidnightwalkonHampsteadHeath,whenoneofmyservants,hastilyentering,informedmeoftherobbery。Ichangedmymindinrespecttomymidnightwalkimmediatelyuponreceiptofthenews,forIknewthatbeforeoneo’clocksomeonewouldcalluponmeatmylodgingswithreferencetothisrobbery。Itcouldnotbeotherwise。Anymysteryofsuchmagnitudecouldnomorebetakentoanotherbureauthanelephantscouldfly——"
"Theyusedto,"saidAdam。"Ioncehadawholeaviaryfullofwingedelephants。Theyflewfromflowertoflower,andthrustingtheirprobabilitiesdeepinto——"
"Theirwhat?"queriedJohnson,withafrown。
"Probabilities——isn’tthattheword?Theirtrunks,"saidAdam。
"Probosces,Iimagineyoumean,"suggestedJohnson。
"Yes——thatwasit。Theirprobosces,"saidAdam。"Theyweregreathoney—gatherers,thoseelephants——farbetterthanthebees,becausetheycouldmakesomuchmoreofitinagiventime。"
Munchausenshookhisheadsadly。"I’mafraidI’moutclassedbytheseantediluvians,"hesaid。
"Gentlemen!gentlemen!"criedSirWalter。"Theseinterruptionsareinexcusable!"
"That’swhatIthink,"saidthestranger,withsomeasperity。"I’mhavingaboutashardatimegettingthisstoryoutasIwouldifitwereaserial。Ofcourse,ifyougentlemendonotwishtohearit,I
canstop;butitmustbeunderstoodthatwhenIdostopIstopfinally,onceandforall,becausethetalehasnotasufficiencyofdramaticclimaxestowarrantitsprolongationovertheusualmagazineperiodoftwelvemonths。"
"Goon!goon!"criedsome。
"Shutup!"criedothers——addressingtheinterruptingmembers,ofcourse。
"AsIwassaying,"resumedthestranger,"Ifeltconfidentthatwithinanhour,insomewayorother,thatcasewouldbeplacedinmyhands。Itwouldbemineeitherpositivelyornegatively——thatistosay,eitherthepersonrobbedwouldemploymetoferretoutthemysteryandrecoverthediamonds,ortherobberhimself,actuatedbymotivesofself—preservation,wouldendeavortodirectmyenergiesintootherchannelsuntilheshouldhavethetimetodisposeofhisill—gottenbooty。Amentaldiscussionoftheprobabilitiesinclinedmetobelievethatthelatterwouldbethecase。Ireasonedinthisfashion:Thepersonrobbedisofexaltedrank。Shecannotmoverapidlybecausesheisso。Greatbodiesmoveslowly。Itisprobablethatitwillbeaweekbefore,accordingtotheetiquettebywhichsheishedgedabout,shecancommunicatewithme。Inthefirstplace,shemustinformoneofherattendantsthatshehasbeenrobbed。Hemustcommunicatethenewstothefunctionaryinchargeofherresidence,whowillcommunicatewiththeHomeSecretary,andfromhimwillissuetheorderstothepolice,who,baffledateverystep,willfinallyaddressthemselvestome。’I’llgivethatsidetwoweeks,’Isaid。Ontheotherhand,therobber:willheallowhimselftobelulledintoafalsesenseofsecuritybycountingonthisdelay,orwillhenot,notingmyhabitofoccasionallyenteringupondetectiveenterprisesofthisnatureofmyownvolition,cometomeatonceandsetmetoworkferretingoutsomecrimethathasneverbeencommitted?Myfeelingwasthatthiswouldhappen,andIpulledoutmywatchtoseeifitwerenotnearlytimeforhimtoarrive。
TherobberyhadtakenplaceatastateballattheBuckinghamPalace。
’H’m!’Imused。’Hehashadanhourandfortyminutestogethere。
Itisnowtwelve—twenty。Heshouldbeherebytwelve—forty—five。I
willwait。’Andhastilyswallowingacocainetablettonervemyselfupforthemeeting,IsatdownandbegantoreadmySchopenhauer。
HardlyhadIperusedapagewhentherecameatapuponmydoor。I
rosewithasmile,forIthoughtIknewwhatwastohappen,openedthedoor,andtherestood,muchtomysurprise,thehusbandoftheladywhosetiarawasmissing。ItwastheDukeofBrokedalehimself。
Itistruehewasdisguised。Hisbeardwaspowdereduntilitlookedlikesnow,andheworeawigandapairofgreengoggles;butI
recognizedhimatoncebyhislackofmanners,whichisanunmistakablesignofnobility。AsIopenedthedoor,hebegan:
"’YouareMr。——’
"’Iam,’Ireplied。’Comein。Youhavecometoseemeaboutyourstolenwatch。Itisagoldhunting—casewatchwithaSwissmovement;
losesfiveminutesaday;stem—winder;andthebackcover,whichdoesnotbearanyinscription,hasuponittheindentationsmadebythemolarsofyoursonWilliewhenthatinterestingyouthwascuttinghisteethuponit。’"
"Wonderful!"criedJohnson。
"MayIaskhowyouknewallthat?"askedSolomon,deeplyimpressed。
"Suchpenetrationstrikesmeasmarvellous。"
"Ididn’tknowit,"repliedthestranger,withasmile。"WhatIsaidwasintendedtobejocular,andtoputBrokedaleathisease。TheAmericanspresent,withtheirusualastuteness,wouldtermitbluff。
Itwas。Imerelyrattledon。IsimplydidnotwishtooffendthegentlemanbylettinghimknowthatIhadpenetratedhisdisguise。
Imaginemysurprise,however,whenhiseyebrightenedasIspoke,andheenteredmyroomwithsuchalacritythathalfthepowderwhichhethoughtdisguisedhisbeardwasshakenoffontothefloor。SittingdowninthechairIhadjustvacated,hequietlyremarked:
"’Youareawonderfulman,sir。HowdidyouknowthatIhadlostmywatch?’
"ForamomentIwasnonplussed;morethanthat,Iwascompletelystaggered。Ihadexpectedhimtosayatoncethathehadnotlosthiswatch,buthadcometoseemeaboutthetiara;andtohavehimtakemywordsseriouslywasentirelyunexpectedandoverwhelminglysurprising。However,inviewofhisrank,Ideemeditwelltofallinwithhishumour。’Oh,asforthat,’Ireplied,’thatisapartofmybusiness。Itisthedetective’splacetoknoweverything;andgenerally,ifherevealsthemachinerybymeansofwhichhereacheshisconclusions,heisafool,sincehismethodishissecret,andhissecrethisstock—in—trade。Idonotmindtellingyou,however,thatIknewyourwatchwasstolenbyyouranxiousglanceatmyclock,whichshowedthatyouwishedtoknowthetime。NowmostrichAmericanshavewatchesforthatpurpose,andhavenohesitationaboutshowingthem。Ifyou’dhadawatch,you’dhavelookedatit,notatmyclock。’
"Myvisitorlaughed,andrepeatedwhathehadsaidaboutmybeingawonderfulman。
"’Andthedentswhichmysonmadecuttinghisteeth?’headded。
"’InvariablygowithanAmerican’swatch。Rubberorivoryringsaren’tgoodenoughforAmericanbabiestochewon,’saidI。’Theymusthavegoldwatchesornothing。’
"’Andfinally,howdidyouknowIwasarichAmerican?’heasked。
"’BecausenoothercanaffordtostopathotelsliketheSavoyintheheightoftheseason,’Ireplied,thinkingthatthejestwouldendthere,andthathewouldnowrevealhisidentityandspeakofthetiara。Tomysurprise,however,hedidnothingofthesort。
"’Youhaveanalmostsupernaturalgift,’hesaid。’MynameisBunker。IamstoppingattheSavoy。IAManAmerican。IWASrichwhenIarrivedhere,butI’mnotquitesobloatedwithwealthasI
was,nowthatIhavepaidmyfirstweek’sbill。IHAVElostmywatch;suchawatch,too,asyoudescribe,eventothedents。YouronlymistakewasthatthedentsweremadebymysonJohn,andnotWillie;buteventhereIcannotbutwonderatyou,forJohnandWilliearetwins,andsomuchalikethatitsometimesbaffleseventheirmothertotellthemapart。Thewatchhasnoverygreatvalueintrinsically,buttheassociationsaresuchthatIwantitback,andIwillpay200poundsforitsrecovery。Ihavenoclewastowhotookit。Itwasnumbered——’
"Hereahappythoughtstruckme。InallmydescriptionofthewatchIhadmerelydescribedmyown,averycheapaffairwhichIhadwonataraffle。Myvisitorwasdeceivingme,thoughforwhatpurposeIdidnotontheinstantdivine。Noonewouldliketosuspecthimofhavingpurloinedhiswife’stiara。WhyshouldInotdeceivehim,andatthesametimegetridofmypoorchronometerforasumthatexceededitsvalueahundredfold?"
"Goodbusiness!"criedShylock。
Thestrangersmiledandbowed。
"Excellent,"hesaid。"Itookthewordsrightoutofhismouth。’Itwasnumbered86507B!’Icried,giving,ofcourse,thenumberofmyownwatch。
"Hegazedatmenarrowlyforamoment,andthenhesmiled。’Yougrowmoremarvellousateverystep。Thatwasindeedthenumber。Areyouademon?’
"’No,’Ireplied。’Onlysomethingofamind—reader。’
"Well,tobebrief,thebargainwasstruck。IwastolookforawatchthatIknewhehadn’tlost,andwastoreceive200poundsifI
foundit。Itseemedtohimtobeaverygoodbargain,as,indeed,itwas,fromhispointofview,feeling,ashedid,thatthereneverhavingbeenanysuchwatch,itcouldnotberecovered,andlittlesuspectingthattwocouldplayathislittlegameofdeception,andthatunderanycircumstancesIcouldfoistaten—shillingwatchuponhimfortwohundredpounds。Thisbusinessconcluded,hestartedtogo。
"’Won’tyouhavealittleScotch?’Iasked,ashestarted,feeling,withallthatprospectiveprofitinview,Icouldwellaffordtheexpense。’Itisastormynight。’
"’Thanks,Iwill,’saidhe,returningandseatinghimselfbymytable——still,tomysurprise,keepinghishaton。
"’Letmetakeyourhat,’Isaid,littlethinkingthatmycourtesywouldrevealthetruestateofaffairs。Themerementionofthewordhatbroughtaboutaterriblechangeinmyvisitor;hiskneestrembled,hisfacegrewghastly,andheclutchedthebrimofhisbeaveruntilitcracked。Hethennervouslyremovedit,andInoticedadullredmarkrunningabouthisforehead,justastherewouldbeontheforeheadofamanwhosehatfittedtootightly;andthatmark,gentlemen,hadtheundulatingoutlineofnothingmorenorlessthanatiara,andontheapexoftheuttermostextremitywasadeepindentationaboutthesizeofashilling,thatcouldhavebeenmadeonlybysomeadamantinesubstance!Themysterywassolved!TherobberoftheDuchessofBrokedalestoodbeforeme。"
Asuppressedmurmurofexcitementwentthroughtheassembledspirits,andevenMessrs。HawkshawandLeCoqweresilentinthepresenceofsuchgenius。
"Myplanofactionwasimmediatelyformulated。Themanwascompletelyatmymercy。Hehadstolenthetiara,andhaditconcealedintheliningofhishat。Iroseandlockedthedoor。Myvisitorsankwithagroanintomychair。
"’Whydidyoudothat?’hestammered,asIturnedthekeyinthelock。
"’TokeepmyScotchwhiskeyfromevaporating,’Isaid,dryly。’Now,mylord,’Iadded,’itwillpayyourGracetoletmehaveyourhat。
Iknowwhoyouare。YouaretheDukeofBrokedale。TheDuchessofBrokedalehaslostavaluabletiaraofdiamonds,andyouhavenotlostyourwatch。Somebodyhasstolenthediamonds,anditmaybethatsomewherethereisaBunkerwhohaslostsuchawatchasIhavedescribed。Thequeerpartofitallis,’Icontinued,handinghimthedecanter,andtakingacoupleofloadedsix—shootersoutofmyescritoire——’thequeerpartofitallisthatIhavethewatchandyouhavethetiara。We’llswaptheswag。Handoverthebauble,please。’
"’But——’hebegan。
"’Wewon’thaveanybutting,yourGrace,’saidI。’I’llgiveyouthewatch,andyouneedn’tmindthe200pounds;andyoumustgivemethetiara,orI’llaccompanyyouforthwithtothepolice,andhaveasearchmadeofyourhat。Itwon’tpayyoutodefyme。Giveitup。’
"Hegaveupthehatatonce,and,asIsuspected,therelaythetiara,snuglystowedawaybehindthehead—band。
"’Youareagreatfellow,’saidI,asIheldthetiarauptothelightandwatchedwithpleasuretheflashingbrillianceofitsgems。
"’Ibegyou’llnotexposeme,’hemoaned。’Iwasdriventoitbynecessity。’
"’NotI,’Ireplied。’Aslongasyouplayfairitwillbeallright。
I’mnotgoingtokeepthisthing。I’mnotmarried,andsohavenouseforsuchatrifle;butwhatIdointendissimplytowaituntilyourwiferetainsmetofindit,andthenI’llfinditandgetthereward。Ifyoukeepperfectlystill,I’llhaveitfoundinsuchafashionthatyou’llneverbesuspected。If,ontheotherhand,yousayawordaboutto—night’sevents,I’llhandyouovertothepolice。’
"’Humph!’hesaid。’Youcouldn’tproveacaseagainstme。’
"’Icanproveanycaseagainstanybody,’Iretorted。’Ifyoudon’tbelieveit,readmybook,’Iadded,andIhandedhimacopyofmymemoirs。
"’I’vereadit,’heanswered,’andIoughttohaveknownbetterthantocomehere。Ithoughtyouwereonlyaliterarysuccess。’Andwithadeep—drawnsighhetookthewatchandwentout。TendayslaterI
wasretainedbytheDuchess,andafterapretendedsearchoftendaysmoreIfoundthetiara,restoredittothenoblelady,andreceivedthe5000poundsreward。TheDukekeptperfectlyquietaboutourlittleencounter,andafterwardswebecamestanchfriends;forhewasagoodfellow,andwasdriventohisdesperatedeedonlybythedemandsofhiscreditors,andthefollowingChristmashesentmethewatchIhadgivenhim,withthebestwishesoftheseason。
"So,yousee,gentlemen,inamoment,byquickwitandamentalconcentrationofnomeanorder,combinedwithstrictobservanceofthepettiestdetails,Iferretedoutwhatbadefairtobecomeagreatdiamondmystery;andwhenIsaythatthiscigarendprovescertainthingstomymind,itdoesnotbecomeyoutodoubtthevalueofmyconclusions。"
"Hear!hear!"criedRaleigh,growingtumultuouswithenthusiasm。
"Yourname?yourname?"camefromallpartsofthewharf。
Thestranger,puttinghishandintothefoldsofhiscoat,drewforthabundleofbusinesscards,whichhetossed,astheprestidigitatortossesplaying—cards,outamongtheaudience,andoneachofthemwasfoundprintedthewords:
SHERLOCKHOLMES,DETECTIVE。
FERRETINGDONEHERE。
PlotsforSale。
"Ithinkhemadeamistakeinnottakingthe200poundsforthewatch。Suchcarelessnessdestroysmyconfidenceinhim,"saidShylock,whowasthefirsttorecoverfromthesurpriseoftherevelation。
CHAPTERIII:THESEARCH—PARTYISORGANIZED
"Well,Mr。Holmes,"saidSirWalterRaleigh,afterthreerousingcheers,ledbyHamlet,hadbeengivenwithawillbytheassembledspirits,"afterthisdemonstrationinyourhonorIthinkitishardlynecessaryformetoassureyouofourheartyco—operationinanythingyoumayventuretosuggest。Thereisstillmanifest,however,somedesireonthepartoftheever—wiseKingSolomonandmyfriendConfuciustoknowhowyoudeducethatKiddhassailedforLondon,fromthecigarendwhichyouholdinyourhand。"
"Icaneasilysatisfytheircuriosity,"saidSherlockHolmes,genially。"IbelieveIhavealreadyproventhatitistheendofKidd’scigar。Themarksoftheteethhaveshownthat。Nowobservehowcloselyitissmoked——thereisbarelyenoughofitleftforonetoinsertbetweenhisteeth。NowCaptainKiddwouldhardlyhaveriskedtheedgesofhismustacheandthecomfortofhislipsbysmokingacigardowntotheverylightifhehadhadanother;norwouldheunderanycircumstanceshavesmokeditthatfarunlesshewerepassionatelyaddictedtothisparticularbrandoftheweed。
ThereforeIsaytoyou,first,thiswashiscigar;second,itwasthelastonehehad;third,heisaconfirmedsmoker。Theresult,hehasgonetotheoneplaceintheworldwheretheseConnecticuthand—
rolledHavanacigars——forIrecognizethisasoneofthem——havearealpopularity,andarethereforemorecertainlyobtainable,andthatisatLondon。YoucannotgetsovileacigarasthatoutsideofaLondonhotel。IfIcouldhaveseenaquarter—inchmoreofit,I
shouldhavebeenabledefinitelytolocatethehotelitself。Thewrappersunrolltoadegreethatvariesperceptiblyasbetweenthedifferenthotels。TheFortunacigarcanbesmokedaquarterthroughbeforeitswrappergivesway;theFelixwrappergoesassoonasyoulightthecigar;whereastheRiver,frontingontheThames,issurroundedbyamoisteratmospherethantheothers,and,asaconsequence,thewrapperwillholdreallyuntilmostpeoplearewillingtothrowthewholethingaway。"
"Itisreallyawonderfulart!"saidSolomon。
"ThemakingofaConnecticutHavanacigar?"laughedHolmes。"Notatall。Givemeaheadoflettuceandastraw,andI’llmakeyouabox。"
"Ireferredtoyourart——thatofdetection,"saidSolomon。"Yourlogicisperfect;stepbystepwehavebeenledtotheirresistibleconclusionthatKiddhasmadeforLondon,andcanbefoundatoneofthesehotels。"
"AndonlyuntilnextTuesday,whenhewilltakeahouseintheneighborhoodofScotlandYard,"putinHolmes,quickly,observingasneeronHawkshaw’slips,andhasteningtooverwhelmhimbyfurtherevidenceofhisingenuity。"Whenhegetshisbillhewillopenhispiraticaleyessowidethathewillbeseizedwithjealousytothinkofhowmuchmorerefinedhisprofessionhasbecomesinceheleftit,andoutofmerepiquehewillleavethehotel,and,toshowhimselfstillclevererthanhismodernprototypes,hewillleavehisaccountunpaid,withtheresultthattheaffairwillbeputinthehandsofthepolice,underwhichcircumstancesahouseintheimmediatevicinityofthefamouspoliceheadquarterswillbethesafesthiding—
placehecanfind,aswasinstancedbytheremarkablecaseofthefamousPenstockbondrobbery。AcertainchurchwardennamedHinkley,havingbeenappointedcashierthereof,robbedthePenstockImperialBankof1,000,000poundsinbonds,and,fleeingtoLondon,actuallyjoinedthedetectiveforceatScotlandYard,andwasdetailedtofindhimself,whichofcourseheneverdid,norwouldheeverhavebeenfoundhadhenotcrossedmypath。"
Hawkshawgazedmournfullyoffintospace,andLeCoqmutteredprofanewordsunderhisbreath。
"We’renotinthesameclasswiththisfellow,Hawkshaw,"saidLeCoq。"Youcouldtapyourforeheadknowinglyeighthoursadaythroughalleternitywithasledge—hammerwithoutlooseninganidealikethat。"
"NeverthelessI’llconfoundhimyet,"growledthejealousdetective。