IhavearoistingchallengesentamongstThedunandfactiousnoblesoftheGreeksWillstrikeamazementtotheirdrowsyspirits:
  Iwasadvertisedtheirgreatgeneralslept,Whilstemulationinthearmycrept:
  This,Ipresume,willwakehim。
  ExeuntSCENEIII。TheGreciancamp。BeforeAchilles’tent。EnterTHERSITES,solusTHERSITESHownow,Thersites!whatlostinthelabyrinthofthyfury!ShalltheelephantAjaxcarryitthus?
  Hebeatsme,andIrailathim:O,worthysatisfaction!
  woulditwereotherwise;thatIcouldbeathim,whilstherailedatme。’Sfoot,I’lllearntoconjureandraisedevils,butI’llseesomeissueofmyspitefulexecrations。Thenthere’sAchilles,arareenginer!IfTroybenottakentillthesetwoundermineit,thewallswillstandtilltheyfallofthemselves。Othougreatthunder—darterofOlympus,forgetthatthouartJove,thekingofgodsand,Mercury,losealltheserpentinecraftofthycaduceus,ifyetakenotthatlittle,littlelessthanlittlewitfromthemthattheyhave!whichshort—armedignoranceitselfknowsissoabundantscarce,itwillnotincircumventiondeliveraflyfromaspider,withoutdrawingtheirmassyironsandcuttingtheweb。Afterthis,thevengeanceonthewholecamp!orrather,thebone—ache!forthat,methinks,isthecursedependentonthosethatwarforaplacket。IhavesaidmyprayersanddevilEnvysayAmen。Whatho!myLordAchilles!
  EnterPATROCLUSPATROCLUSWho’sthere?Thersites!GoodThersites,comeinandrail。THERSITESIfIcouldhaverememberedagiltcounterfeit,thouwouldstnothaveslippedoutofmycontemplation:
  butitisnomatter;thyselfuponthyself!Thecommoncurseofmankind,follyandignorance,bethineingreatrevenue!heavenblesstheefromatutor,anddisciplinecomenotnearthee!Letthybloodbethydirectiontillthydeath!thenifshethatlaystheeoutsaysthouartafaircorse,I’llbeswornandswornupon’tshenevershroudedanybutlazars。
  Amen。Where’sAchilles?PATROCLUSWhat,artthoudevout?wastthouinprayer?THERSITESAy:theheavenshearme!
  EnterACHILLESACHILLESWho’sthere?PATROCLUSThersites,mylord。ACHILLESWhere,where?Artthoucome?why,mycheese,mydigestion,whyhastthounotservedthyselfintomytablesomanymeals?Come,what’sAgamemnon?THERSITESThycommander,Achilles。Thentellme,Patroclus,what’sAchilles?PATROCLUSThylord,Thersites:thentellme,Ipraythee,what’sthyself?THERSITESThyknower,Patroclus:thentellme,Patroclus,whatartthou?PATROCLUSThoumaysttellthatknowest。ACHILLESO,tell,tell。THERSITESI’lldeclinethewholequestion。AgamemnoncommandsAchilles;Achillesismylord;IamPatroclus’
  knower,andPatroclusisafool。PATROCLUSYourascal!THERSITESPeace,fool!Ihavenotdone。ACHILLESHeisaprivilegedman。Proceed,Thersites。THERSITESAgamemnonisafool;Achillesisafool;
  Thersitesisafool,and,asaforesaid,Patroclusisafool。ACHILLESDerivethis;come。THERSITESAgamemnonisafooltooffertocommandAchilles;
  AchillesisafooltobecommandedofAgamemnon;
  Thersitesisafooltoservesuchafool,andPatroclusisafoolpositive。PATROCLUSWhyamIafool?THERSITESMakethatdemandoftheprover。Itsufficesmethouart。Lookyou,whocomeshere?ACHILLESPatroclus,I’llspeakwithnobody。
  Comeinwithme,Thersites。
  ExitTHERSITESHereissuchpatchery,suchjugglingandsuchknavery!alltheargumentisacuckoldandawhore;agoodquarreltodrawemulousfactionsandbleedtodeathupon。Now,thedryserpigoonthesubject!andwarandlecheryconfoundall!
  ExitEnterAGAMEMNON,ULYSSES,NESTOR,DIOMEDES,andAJAXAGAMEMNONWhereisAchilles?PATROCLUSWithinhistent;butilldisposed,mylord。AGAMEMNONLetitbeknowntohimthatwearehere。
  Heshentourmessengers;andwelaybyOurappertainments,visitingofhim:
  Lethimbetoldso;lestperchancehethinkWedarenotmovethequestionofourplace,Orknownotwhatweare。PATROCLUSIshallsaysotohim。
  ExitULYSSESWesawhimattheopeningofhistent:
  Heisnotsick。AJAXYes,lion—sick,sickofproudheart:youmaycallitmelancholy,ifyouwillfavourtheman;but,bymyhead,’tispride:butwhy,why?lethimshowusthecause。Aword,mylord。
  TakesAGAMEMNONasideNESTORWhatmovesAjaxthustobayathim?ULYSSESAchilleshathinveigledhisfoolfromhim。NESTORWho,Thersites?ULYSSESHe。NESTORThenwillAjaxlackmatter,ifhehavelosthisargument。ULYSSESNo,yousee,heishisargumentthathashisargument,Achilles。NESTORAllthebetter;theirfractionismoreourwishthantheirfaction:butitwasastrongcomposureafoolcoulddisunite。ULYSSESTheamitythatwisdomknitsnot,follymayeasilyuntie。HerecomesPatroclus。
  Re—enterPATROCLUSNESTORNoAchilleswithhim。ULYSSESTheelephanthathjoints,butnoneforcourtesy:
  hislegsarelegsfornecessity,notforflexure。PATROCLUSAchillesbidsmesay,heismuchsorry,IfanythingmorethanyoursportandpleasureDidmoveyourgreatnessandthisnoblestateTocalluponhim;hehopesitisnootherButforyourhealthandyourdigestionsake,Andafter—dinner’sbreath。AGAMEMNONHearyou,Patroclus:
  Wearetoowellacquaintedwiththeseanswers:
  Buthisevasion,wing’dthusswiftwithscorn,Cannotoutflyourapprehensions。
  Muchattributehehath,andmuchthereasonWhyweascribeittohim;yetallhisvirtues,Notvirtuouslyonhisownpartbeheld,Doinoureyesbegintolosetheirgloss,Yea,likefairfruitinanunwholesomedish,Areliketorotuntasted。Goandtellhim,Wecometospeakwithhim;andyoushallnotsin,Ifyoudosaywethinkhimover—proudAndunder—honest,inself—assumptiongreaterThaninthenoteofjudgment;andworthierthanhimselfHeretendthesavagestrangenessheputson,Disguisetheholystrengthoftheircommand,AndunderwriteinanobservingkindHishumorouspredominance;yea,watchHispettishlunes,hisebbs,hisflows,asifThepassageandwholecarriageofthisactionRodeonhistide。Gotellhimthis,andadd,Thatifheoverholdhispricesomuch,We’llnoneofhim;butlethim,likeanengineNotportable,lieunderthisreport:
  ’Bringactionhither,thiscannotgotowar:
  AstirringdwarfwedoallowancegiveBeforeasleepinggiant。’Tellhimso。PATROCLUSIshall;andbringhisanswerpresently。
  ExitAGAMEMNONInsecondvoicewe’llnotbesatisfied;
  Wecometospeakwithhim。Ulysses,enteryou。
  ExitULYSSESAJAXWhatishemorethananother?AGAMEMNONNomorethanwhathethinksheis。AJAXIshesomuch?DoyounotthinkhethinkshimselfabettermanthanIam?AGAMEMNONNoquestion。AJAXWillyousubscribehisthought,andsayheis?AGAMEMNONNo,nobleAjax;youareasstrong,asvaliant,aswise,nolessnoble,muchmoregentle,andaltogethermoretractable。AJAXWhyshouldamanbeproud?Howdothpridegrow?I
  knownotwhatprideis。AGAMEMNONYourmindistheclearer,Ajax,andyourvirtuesthefairer。Hethatisproudeatsuphimself:prideishisownglass,hisowntrumpet,hisownchronicle;
  andwhateverpraisesitselfbutinthedeed,devoursthedeedinthepraise。AJAXIdohateaproudman,asIhatetheengenderingoftoads。NESTORYetheloveshimself:is’tnotstrange?
  AsideRe—enterULYSSESULYSSESAchilleswillnottothefieldto—morrow。AGAMEMNONWhat’shisexcuse?ULYSSESHedothrelyonnone,ButcarriesonthestreamofhisdisposeWithoutobservanceorrespectofany,Inwillpeculiarandinself—admission。AGAMEMNONWhywillhenotuponourfairrequestUntenthispersonandsharetheairwithus?ULYSSESThingssmallasnothing,forrequest’ssakeonly,Hemakesimportant:possess’dheiswithgreatness,AndspeaksnottohimselfbutwithaprideThatquarrelsatself—breath:imaginedworthHoldsinhisbloodsuchswolnandhotdiscourseThat’twixthismentalandhisactivepartsKingdom’dAchillesincommotionragesAndbattersdownhimself:whatshouldIsay?
  Heissoplaguyproudthatthedeath—tokensofitCry’Norecovery。’AGAMEMNONLetAjaxgotohim。
  Dearlord,goyouandgreethiminhistent:
  ’Tissaidheholdsyouwell,andwillbeledAtyourrequestalittlefromhimself。ULYSSESOAgamemnon,letitnotbeso!
  We’llconsecratethestepsthatAjaxmakesWhentheygofromAchilles:shalltheproudlordThatbasteshisarrogancewithhisownseamAndneversuffersmatteroftheworldEnterhisthoughts,savesuchasdorevolveAndruminatehimself,shallhebeworshipp’dOfthatweholdanidolmorethanhe?
  No,thisthriceworthyandrightvaliantlordMustnotsostalehispalm,noblyacquired;
  Nor,bymywill,assubjugatehismerit,AsamplytitledasAchillesis,BygoingtoAchilles:
  ThatweretoenlardhisfatalreadyprideAndaddmorecoalstoCancerwhenheburnsWithentertaininggreatHyperion。
  Thislordgotohim!Jupiterforbid,Andsayinthunder’Achillesgotohim。’NESTOR[AsidetoDIOMEDES]O,thisiswell;
  herubstheveinofhim。DIOMEDES[AsidetoNESTOR]Andhowhissilencedrinksupthisapplause!AJAXIfIgotohim,withmyarmedfistI’llpashhimo’ertheface。AGAMEMNONO,no,youshallnotgo。AJAXAna’beproudwithme,I’llpheezehispride:
  Letmegotohim。ULYSSESNotfortheworththathangsuponourquarrel。AJAXApaltry,insolentfellow!NESTORHowhedescribeshimself!AJAXCanhenotbesociable?ULYSSESTheravenchidesblackness。AJAXI’lllethishumoursblood。AGAMEMNONHewillbethephysicianthatshouldbethepatient。AJAXAnallmenwereo’mymind,——ULYSSESWitwouldbeoutoffashion。AJAXA’shouldnotbearitso,a’shouldeatswordsfirst:
  shallpridecarryit?NESTORAn’twould,you’ldcarryhalf。ULYSSESA’wouldhavetenshares。AJAXIwillkneadhim;I’llmakehimsupple。NESTORHe’snotyetthroughwarm:forcehimwithpraises:
  pourin,pourin;hisambitionisdry。ULYSSES[ToAGAMEMNON]Mylord,youfeedtoomuchonthisdislike。NESTOROurnoblegeneral,donotdoso。DIOMEDESYoumustpreparetofightwithoutAchilles。ULYSSESWhy,’tisthisnamingofhimdoeshimharm。
  Hereisaman——but’tisbeforehisface;
  Iwillbesilent。NESTORWhereforeshouldyouso?
  Heisnotemulous,asAchillesis。ULYSSESKnowthewholeworld,heisasvaliant。AJAXAwhoresondog,thatshallpelterthuswithus!
  WouldhewereaTrojan!NESTORWhatavicewereitinAjaxnow,——ULYSSESIfhewereproud,——DIOMEDESOrcovetousofpraise,——ULYSSESAy,orsurlyborne,——DIOMEDESOrstrange,orself—affected!ULYSSESThanktheheavens,lord,thouartofsweetcomposure;
  Praisehimthatgotthee,shethatgavetheesuck:
  Famedbethytutor,andthypartsofnatureThricefamed,beyondallerudition:
  Buthethatdisciplinedthyarmstofight,LetMarsdivideeternityintwain,Andgivehimhalf:and,forthyvigour,Bull—bearingMilohisadditionyieldTosinewyAjax。Iwillnotpraisethywisdom,Which,likeabourn,apale,ashore,confinesThyspaciousanddilatedparts:here’sNestor;
  Instructedbytheantiquarytimes,Hemust,heis,hecannotbutbewise:
  Putpardon,fatherNestor,wereyourdaysAsgreenasAjax’andyourbrainsotemper’d,Youshouldnothavetheeminenceofhim,ButbeasAjax。AJAXShallIcallyoufather?NESTORAy,mygoodson。DIOMEDESBeruledbyhim,LordAjax。ULYSSESThereisnotarryinghere;thehartAchillesKeepsthicket。PleaseitourgreatgeneralTocalltogetherallhisstateofwar;
  FreshkingsarecometoTroy:to—morrowWemustwithallourmainofpowerstandfast:
  Andhere’salord,——comeknightsfromeasttowest,Andculltheirflower,Ajaxshallcopethebest。AGAMEMNONGowetocouncil。LetAchillessleep:
  Lightboatssailswift,thoughgreaterhulksdrawdeep。
  ExeuntACTIIISCENEI。Troy。Priam’spalace。EnteraServantandPANDARUSPANDARUSFriend,you!prayyou,aword:donotyoufollowtheyoungLordParis?ServantAy,sir,whenhegoesbeforeme。PANDARUSYoudependuponhim,Imean?ServantSir,Idodependuponthelord。PANDARUSYoudependuponanoblegentleman;Imustneedspraisehim。ServantThelordbepraised!PANDARUSYouknowme,doyounot?ServantFaith,sir,superficially。PANDARUSFriend,knowmebetter;IamtheLordPandarus。ServantIhopeIshallknowyourhonourbetter。PANDARUSIdodesireit。ServantYouareinthestateofgrace。PANDARUSGrace!notso,friend:honourandlordshiparemytitles。
  MusicwithinWhatmusicisthis?ServantIdobutpartlyknow,sir:itismusicinparts。PANDARUSKnowyouthemusicians?ServantWholly,sir。PANDARUSWhoplaytheyto?ServantTothehearers,sir。PANDARUSAtwhosepleasure,friendServantAtmine,sir,andtheirsthatlovemusic。PANDARUSCommand,Imean,friend。ServantWhoshallIcommand,sir?PANDARUSFriend,weunderstandnotoneanother:
  Iamtoocourtlyandthouarttoocunning。Atwhoserequestdothesemenplay?ServantThat’sto’tindeed,sir:marry,sir,attherequestofParismylord,who’sthereinperson;withhim,themortalVenus,theheart—bloodofbeauty,love’sinvisiblesoul,——PANDARUSWho,mycousinCressida?ServantNo,sir,Helen:couldyounotfindoutthatbyherattributes?PANDARUSItshouldseem,fellow,thatthouhastnotseentheLadyCressida。IcometospeakwithParisfromthePrinceTroilus:Iwillmakeacomplimentalassaultuponhim,formybusinessseethes。ServantSoddenbusiness!there’sastewedphraseindeed!
  EnterPARISandHELEN,attendedPANDARUSFairbetoyou,mylord,andtoallthisfaircompany!fairdesires,inallfairmeasure,fairlyguidethem!especiallytoyou,fairqueen!
  fairthoughtsbeyourfairpillow!HELENDearlord,youarefulloffairwords。PANDARUSYouspeakyourfairpleasure,sweetqueen。
  Fairprince,hereisgoodbrokenmusic。PARISYouhavebrokeit,cousin:and,bymylife,youshallmakeitwholeagain;youshallpieceitoutwithapieceofyourperformance。Nell,heisfullofharmony。PANDARUSTruly,lady,no。HELENO,sir,——PANDARUSRude,insooth;ingoodsooth,veryrude。PARISWellsaid,mylord!well,yousaysoinfits。PANDARUSIhavebusinesstomylord,dearqueen。
  Mylord,willyouvouchsafemeaword?HELENNay,thisshallnothedgeusout:we’llhearyousing,certainly。PANDARUSWell,sweetqueen。youarepleasantwithme。But,marry,thus,mylord:mydearlordandmostesteemedfriend,yourbrotherTroilus,——HELENMyLordPandarus;honey—sweetlord,——PANDARUSGoto,sweetqueen,togo:——commendshimselfmostaffectionatelytoyou,——HELENYoushallnotbobusoutofourmelody:
  ifyoudo,ourmelancholyuponyourhead!PANDARUSSweetqueen,sweetqueen!that’sasweetqueen,i’faith。HELENAndtomakeasweetladysadisasouroffence。PANDARUSNay,thatshallnotserveyourturn;thatshallnot,intruth,la。Nay,Icarenotforsuchwords;
  no,no。And,mylord,hedesiresyou,thatifthekingcallforhimatsupper,youwillmakehisexcuse。HELENMyLordPandarus,——PANDARUSWhatsaysmysweetqueen,myveryverysweetqueen?PARISWhatexploit’sinhand?wheresupsheto—night?HELENNay,but,mylord,——PANDARUSWhatsaysmysweetqueen?Mycousinwillfalloutwithyou。Youmustnotknowwherehesups。PARISI’lllaymylife,withmydisposerCressida。PANDARUSNo,no,nosuchmatter;youarewide:
  come,yourdisposerissick。PARISWell,I’llmakeexcuse。PANDARUSAy,goodmylord。WhyshouldyousayCressida?
  no,yourpoordisposer’ssick。PARISIspy。PANDARUSYouspy!whatdoyouspy?Come,givemeaninstrument。Now,sweetqueen。HELENWhy,thisiskindlydone。PANDARUSMynieceishorriblyinlovewithathingyouhave,sweetqueen。HELENSheshallhaveit,mylord,ifitbenotmylordParis。PANDARUSHe!no,she’llnoneofhim;theytwoaretwain。HELENFallingin,afterfallingout,maymakethemthree。PANDARUSCome,come,I’llhearnomoreofthis;
  I’llsingyouasongnow。HELENAy,ay,pritheenow。Bymytroth,sweetlord,thouhastafineforehead。PANDARUSAy,youmay,youmay。HELENLetthysongbelove:thislovewillundousall。
  OCupid,Cupid,Cupid!PANDARUSLove!ay,thatitshall,i’faith。PARISAy,goodnow,love,love,nothingbutlove。PANDARUSIngoodtroth,itbeginsso。
  SingsLove,love,nothingbutlove,stillmore!
  For,O,love’sbowShootsbuckanddoe:
  Theshaftconfounds,Notthatitwounds,Butticklesstillthesore。
  TheseloverscryOh!oh!theydie!
  Yetthatwhichseemsthewoundtokill,Dothturnoh!oh!toha!ha!he!
  Sodyinglovelivesstill:
  Oh!oh!awhile,butha!ha!ha!
  Oh!oh!groansoutforha!ha!ha!
  Heigh—ho!HELENInlove,i’faith,totheverytipofthenose。PARISHeeatsnothingbutdoves,love,andthatbreedshotblood,andhotbloodbegetshotthoughts,andhotthoughtsbegethotdeeds,andhotdeedsislove。PANDARUSIsthisthegenerationoflove?hotblood,hotthoughts,andhotdeeds?Why,theyarevipers:
  isloveagenerationofvipers?Sweetlord,who’sa—fieldto—day?PARISHector,Deiphobus,Helenus,Antenor,andallthegallantryofTroy:Iwouldfainhavearmedto—day,butmyNellwouldnothaveitso。HowchancemybrotherTroiluswentnot?HELENHehangsthelipatsomething:youknowall,LordPandarus。PANDARUSNotI,honey—sweetqueen。Ilongtohearhowtheyspedto—day。You’llrememberyourbrother’sexcuse?PARISToahair。PANDARUSFarewell,sweetqueen。HELENCommendmetoyourniece。PANDARUSIwill,sweetqueen。
  ExitAretreatsoundedPARISThey’recomefromfield:letustoPriam’shall,Togreetthewarriors。SweetHelen,ImustwooyouTohelpunarmourHector:hisstubbornbuckles,Withtheseyourwhiteenchantingfingerstouch’d,ShallmoreobeythantotheedgeofsteelOrforceofGreekishsinews;youshalldomoreThanalltheislandkings,——disarmgreatHector。HELEN’Twillmakeusproudtobehisservant,Paris;
  Yea,whatheshallreceiveofusindutyGivesusmorepalminbeautythanwehave,Yea,overshinesourself。PARISSweet,abovethoughtIlovethee。
  ExeuntSCENEII。Thesame。Pandarus’orchard。EnterPANDARUSandTroilus’sBoy,meetingPANDARUSHownow!where’sthymaster?atmycousinCressida’s?BoyNo,sir;hestaysforyoutoconducthimthither。PANDARUSO,herehecomes。
  EnterTROILUS
  Hownow,hownow!TROILUSSirrah,walkoff。
  ExitBoyPANDARUSHaveyouseenmycousin?TROILUSNo,Pandarus:Istalkaboutherdoor,LikeastrangesoulupontheStygianbanksStayingforwaftage。O,bethoumyCharon,AndgivemeswifttransportancetothosefieldsWhereImaywallowinthelily—bedsProposedforthedeserver!OgentlePandarus,FromCupid’sshoulderpluckhispaintedwingsAndflywithmetoCressid!PANDARUSWalkherei’theorchard,I’llbringherstraight。
  ExitTROILUSIamgiddy;expectationwhirlsmeround。
  TheimaginaryrelishissosweetThatitenchantsmysense:whatwillitbe,WhenthatthewaterypalatetastesindeedLove’sthricerepurednectar?death,Ifearme,Swooningdestruction,orsomejoytoofine,Toosubtle—potent,tunedtoosharpinsweetness,Forthecapacityofmyruderpowers:
  Ifearitmuch;andIdofearbesides,ThatIshalllosedistinctioninmyjoys;
  Asdothabattle,whentheychargeonheapsTheenemyflying。
  Re—enterPANDARUSPANDARUSShe’smakingherready,she’llcomestraight:
  youmustbewittynow。Shedoessoblush,andfetchesherwindsoshort,asifshewerefrayedwithasprite:I’llfetchher。Itistheprettiestvillain:shefetchesherbreathasshortasanew—ta’ensparrow。
  ExitTROILUSEvensuchapassiondothembracemybosom:
  Myheartbeatsthickerthanafeverouspulse;
  Andallmypowersdotheirbestowinglose,LikevassalageatunawaresencounteringTheeyeofmajesty。
  Re—enterPANDARUSwithCRESSIDAPANDARUSCome,come,whatneedyoublush?shame’sababy。
  Heresheisnow:sweartheoathsnowtoherthatyouhavesworntome。What,areyougoneagain?
  youmustbewatchedereyoubemadetame,mustyou?
  Comeyourways,comeyourways;anyoudrawbackward,we’llputyoui’thefills。Whydoyounotspeaktoher?Come,drawthiscurtain,andlet’sseeyourpicture。Alastheday,howloathyouaretooffenddaylight!an’tweredark,you’ldclosesooner。
  So,so;rubon,andkissthemistress。Hownow!
  akissinfee—farm!buildthere,carpenter;theairissweet。Nay,youshallfightyourheartsoutereIpartyou。Thefalconasthetercel,foralltheducksi’theriver:goto,goto。TROILUSYouhavebereftmeofallwords,lady。PANDARUSWordspaynodebts,giveherdeeds:butshe’llbereaveyouo’thedeedstoo,ifshecallyouractivityinquestion。What,billingagain?Here’s’Inwitnesswhereofthepartiesinterchangeably’——
  Comein,comein:I’llgogetafire。
  ExitCRESSIDAWillyouwalkin,mylord?TROILUSOCressida,howoftenhaveIwishedmethus!CRESSIDAWished,mylord!Thegodsgrant,——Omylord!TROILUSWhatshouldtheygrant?whatmakesthisprettyabruption?Whattoocuriousdregespiesmysweetladyinthefountainofourlove?CRESSIDAMoredregsthanwater,ifmyfearshaveeyes。TROILUSFearsmakedevilsofcherubims;theyneverseetruly。CRESSIDABlindfear,thatseeingreasonleads,findssaferfootingthanblindreasonstumblingwithoutfear:
  tofeartheworstoftcurestheworse。TROILUSO,letmyladyapprehendnofear:inallCupid’spageantthereispresentednomonster。CRESSIDANornothingmonstrousneither?TROILUSNothing,butourundertakings;whenwevowtoweepseas,liveinfire,eatrocks,tametigers;thinkingitharderforourmistresstodeviseimpositionenoughthanforustoundergoanydifficultyimposed。
  Thisisthemonstruosityinlove,lady,thatthewillisinfiniteandtheexecutionconfined,thatthedesireisboundlessandtheactaslavetolimit。CRESSIDATheysayallloversswearmoreperformancethantheyareableandyetreserveanabilitythattheyneverperform,vowingmorethantheperfectionoftenanddischarginglessthanthetenthpartofone。Theythathavethevoiceoflionsandtheactofhares,aretheynotmonsters?TROILUSAretheresuch?sucharenotwe:praiseusaswearetasted,allowusasweprove;ourheadshallgobaretillmeritcrownit:noperfectioninreversionshallhaveapraiseinpresent:wewillnotnamedesertbeforehisbirth,and,beingborn,hisadditionshallbehumble。Fewwordstofairfaith:TroilusshallbesuchtoCressidaswhatenvycansayworstshallbeamockforhistruth,andwhattruthcanspeaktruestnottruerthanTroilus。CRESSIDAWillyouwalkin,mylord?
  Re—enterPANDARUSPANDARUSWhat,blushingstill?haveyounotdonetalkingyet?CRESSIDAWell,uncle,whatfollyIcommit,Idedicatetoyou。PANDARUSIthankyouforthat:ifmylordgetaboyofyou,you’llgivehimme。Betruetomylord:ifheflinch,chidemeforit。TROILUSYouknownowyourhostages;youruncle’swordandmyfirmfaith。PANDARUSNay,I’llgivemywordforhertoo:ourkindred,thoughtheybelongeretheyarewooed,theyareconstantbeingwon:theyareburs,Icantellyou;
  they’llstickwheretheyarethrown。CRESSIDABoldnesscomestomenow,andbringsmeheart。
  PrinceTroilus,IhavelovedyounightanddayFormanywearymonths。TROILUSWhywasmyCressidthensohardtowin?CRESSIDAHardtoseemwon:butIwaswon,mylord,Withthefirstglancethatever——pardonme——
  IfIconfessmuch,youwillplaythetyrant。
  Iloveyounow;butnot,tillnow,somuchButImightmasterit:infaith,Ilie;
  Mythoughtswerelikeunbridledchildren,grownTooheadstrongfortheirmother。See,wefools!
  WhyhaveIblabb’d?whoshallbetruetous,Whenwearesounsecrettoourselves?
  But,thoughIlovedyouwell,Iwoo’dyounot;
  Andyet,goodfaith,Iwish’dmyselfaman,Orthatwewomenhadmen’sprivilegeOfspeakingfirst。Sweet,bidmeholdmytongue,ForinthisraptureIshallsurelyspeakThethingIshallrepent。See,see,yoursilence,Cunningindumbness,frommyweaknessdrawsMyverysoulofcounsel!stopmymouth。TROILUSAndshall,albeitsweetmusicissuesthence。PANDARUSPretty,i’faith。CRESSIDAMylord,Idobeseechyou,pardonme;
  ’Twasnotmypurpose,thustobegakiss:
  Iamashamed。Oheavens!whathaveIdone?
  ForthistimewillItakemyleave,mylord。TROILUSYourleave,sweetCressid!PANDARUSLeave!anyoutakeleavetillto—morrowmorning,——CRESSIDAPrayyou,contentyou。TROILUSWhatoffendsyou,lady?CRESSIDASir,mineowncompany。TROILUSYoucannotshunYourself。CRESSIDALetmegoandtry:
  Ihaveakindofselfresideswithyou;
  Butanunkindself,thatitselfwillleave,Tobeanother’sfool。Iwouldbegone:
  Whereismywit?IknownotwhatIspeak。TROILUSWellknowtheywhattheyspeakthatspeaksowisely。CRESSIDAPerchance,mylord,Ishowmorecraftthanlove;
  Andfellsoroundlytoalargeconfession,Toangleforyourthoughts:butyouarewise,Orelseyoulovenot,fortobewiseandloveExceedsman’smight;thatdwellswithgodsabove。TROILUSOthatIthoughtitcouldbeinawoman——
  As,ifitcan,Iwillpresumeinyou——
  Tofeedforayeherrampandflamesoflove;
  Tokeepherconstancyinplightandyouth,Outlivingbeauty’soutward,withamindThatdothrenewswifterthanblooddecays!
  Orthatpersuasioncouldbutthusconvinceme,ThatmyintegrityandtruthtoyouMightbeaffrontedwiththematchandweightOfsuchawinnow’dpurityinlove;
  HowwereIthenuplifted!but,alas!
  Iamastrueastruth’ssimplicityAndsimplerthantheinfancyoftruth。CRESSIDAInthatI’llwarwithyou。TROILUSOvirtuousfight,Whenrightwithrightwarswhoshallbemostright!
  TrueswainsinloveshallintheworldtocomeApprovetheirtruthsbyTroilus:whentheirrhymes,Fullofprotest,ofoathandbigcompare,Wantsimiles,truthtiredwithiteration,Astrueassteel,asplantagetothemoon,Assuntoday,asturtletohermate,Asirontoadamant,asearthtothecentre,Yet,afterallcomparisonsoftruth,Astruth’sauthenticauthortobecited,’AstrueasTroilus’shallcrownuptheverse,Andsanctifythenumbers。CRESSIDAProphetmayyoube!
  IfIbefalse,orswerveahairfromtruth,Whentimeisoldandhathforgotitself,WhenwaterdropshavewornthestonesofTroy,Andblindoblivionswallow’dcitiesup,AndmightystatescharacterlessaregratedTodustynothing,yetletmemory,Fromfalsetofalse,amongfalsemaidsinlove,Upbraidmyfalsehood!whenthey’vesaid’asfalseAsair,aswater,wind,orsandyearth,Asfoxtolamb,aswolftoheifer’scalf,Pardtothehind,orstepdametoherson,’
  ’Yea,’letthemsay,tosticktheheartoffalsehood,’AsfalseasCressid。’PANDARUSGoto,abargainmade:sealit,sealit;I’llbethewitness。HereIholdyourhand,heremycousin’s。
  Ifeveryouprovefalseonetoanother,sinceIhavetakensuchpainstobringyoutogether,letallpitifulgoers—betweenbecalledtotheworld’sendaftermyname;callthemallPandars;letallconstantmenbeTroiluses,allfalsewomenCressids,andallbrokers—betweenPandars!say,amen。TROILUSAmen。CRESSIDAAmen。PANDARUSAmen。WhereuponIwillshowyouachamberwithabed;whichbed,becauseitshallnotspeakofyourprettyencounters,pressittodeath:away!
  AndCupidgrantalltongue—tiedmaidenshereBed,chamber,Pandartoprovidethisgear!
  ExeuntSCENEIII。TheGreciancamp。BeforeAchilles’tent。EnterAGAMEMNON,ULYSSES,DIOMEDES,NESTOR,AJAX,MENELAUS,andCALCHASCALCHASNow,princes,fortheserviceIhavedoneyou,TheadvantageofthetimepromptsmealoudTocallforrecompense。AppearittoyourmindThat,throughthesightIbearinthingstolove,Ihaveabandon’dTroy,leftmypossession,Incurr’datraitor’sname;exposedmyself,Fromcertainandpossess’dconveniences,Todoubtfulfortunes;sequesteringfrommeallThattime,acquaintance,customandconditionMadetameandmostfamiliartomynature,Andhere,todoyouservice,ambecomeAsnewintotheworld,strange,unacquainted:
  Idobeseechyou,asinwayoftaste,Togivemenowalittlebenefit,Outofthosemanyregister’dinpromise,Which,yousay,livetocomeinmybehalf。AGAMEMNONWhatwouldstthouofus,Trojan?makedemand。CALCHASYouhaveaTrojanprisoner,call’dAntenor,Yesterdaytook:Troyholdshimverydear。
  Ofthaveyou——oftenhaveyouthankstherefore——
  DesiredmyCressidinrightgreatexchange,WhomTroyhathstilldenied:butthisAntenor,Iknow,issuchawrestintheiraffairsThattheirnegotiationsallmustslack,Wantinghismanage;andtheywillalmostGiveusaprinceofblood,asonofPriam,Inchangeofhim:lethimbesent,greatprinces,Andheshallbuymydaughter;andherpresenceShallquitestrikeoffallserviceIhavedone,Inmostacceptedpain。AGAMEMNONLetDiomedesbearhim,AndbringusCressidhither:CalchasshallhaveWhatherequestsofus。GoodDiomed,Furnishyoufairlyforthisinterchange:
  WithalbringwordifHectorwillto—morrowBeanswer’dinhischallenge:Ajaxisready。DIOMEDESThisshallIundertake;and’tisaburdenWhichIamproudtobear。
  ExeuntDIOMEDESandCALCHAS
  EnterACHILLESandPATROCLUS,beforetheirtentULYSSESAchillesstandsi’theentranceofhistent:
  Pleaseitourgeneraltopassstrangelybyhim,Asifhewereforgot;and,princesall,Laynegligentandlooseregarduponhim:
  Iwillcomelast。’Tislikehe’llquestionmeWhysuchunplausiveeyesarebentonhim:
  Ifso,Ihavederisionmedicinable,Tousebetweenyourstrangenessandhispride,Whichhisownwillshallhavedesiretodrink:
  Itmaybegood:pridehathnootherglassToshowitselfbutpride,forsupplekneesFeedarroganceandaretheproudman’sfees。AGAMEMNONWe’llexecuteyourpurpose,andputonAformofstrangenessaswepassalong:
  Sodoeachlord,andeithergreethimnot,Orelsedisdainfully,whichshallshakehimmoreThanifnotlook’don。Iwillleadtheway。ACHILLESWhat,comesthegeneraltospeakwithme?
  Youknowmymind,I’llfightnomore’gainstTroy。AGAMEMNONWhatsaysAchilles?wouldheaughtwithus?NESTORWouldyou,mylord,aughtwiththegeneral?ACHILLESNo。NESTORNothing,mylord。AGAMEMNONThebetter。
  ExeuntAGAMEMNONandNESTORACHILLESGoodday,goodday。MENELAUSHowdoyou?howdoyou?
  ExitACHILLESWhat,doesthecuckoldscornme?AJAXHownow,Patroclus!ACHILLESGoodmorrow,Ajax。AJAXHa?ACHILLESGoodmorrow。AJAXAy,andgoodnextdaytoo。
  ExitACHILLESWhatmeanthesefellows?KnowtheynotAchilles?PATROCLUSTheypassbystrangely:theywereusedtobendTosendtheirsmilesbeforethemtoAchilles;
  TocomeashumblyastheyusedtocreepToholyaltars。ACHILLESWhat,amIpooroflate?
  ’Tiscertain,greatness,oncefall’noutwithfortune,Mustfalloutwithmentoo:whatthedeclinedisHeshallassoonreadintheeyesofothersAsfeelinhisownfall;formen,likebutterflies,Shownottheirmealywingsbuttothesummer,Andnotaman,forbeingsimplyman,Hathanyhonour,buthonourforthosehonoursThatarewithouthim,asplace,riches,favour,Prizesofaccidentasoftasmerit:
  Whichwhentheyfall,asbeingslipperystanders,Thelovethatlean’donthemasslipperytoo,DoonepluckdownanotherandtogetherDieinthefall。But’tisnotsowithme:
  FortuneandIarefriends:IdoenjoyAtamplepointallthatIdidpossess,Savethesemen’slooks;whodo,methinks,findoutSomethingnotworthinmesuchrichbeholdingAstheyhaveoftengiven。HereisUlysses;
  I’llinterrupthisreading。
  HownowUlysses!ULYSSESNow,greatThetis’son!ACHILLESWhatareyoureading?ULYSSESAstrangefellowhereWritesme:’Thatman,howdearlyeverparted,Howmuchinhaving,orwithoutorin,Cannotmakeboasttohavethatwhichhehath,Norfeelsnotwhatheowes,butbyreflection;
  AswhenhisvirtuesshininguponothersHeatthemandtheyretortthatheatagainTothefirstgiver。’ACHILLESThisisnotstrange,Ulysses。
  ThebeautythatisbornehereinthefaceThebearerknowsnot,butcommendsitselfToothers’eyes;nordoththeeyeitself,Thatmostpurespiritofsense,beholditself,Notgoingfromitself;buteyetoeyeopposedSaluteseachotherwitheachother’sform;
  Forspeculationturnsnottoitself,Tillithathtravell’dandismirror’dthereWhereitmayseeitself。Thisisnotstrangeatall。ULYSSESIdonotstrainattheposition,——
  Itisfamiliar,——butattheauthor’sdrift;
  Who,inhiscircumstance,expresslyprovesThatnomanisthelordofanything,Thoughinandofhimtherebemuchconsisting,Tillhecommunicatehispartstoothers:
  NordothheofhimselfknowthemforaughtTillhebeholdthemform’dintheapplauseWherethey’reextended;who,likeanarch,reverberatesThevoiceagain,or,likeagateofsteelFrontingthesun,receivesandrendersbackHisfigureandhisheat。Iwasmuchwraptinthis;
  AndapprehendedhereimmediatelyTheunknownAjax。
  Heavens,whatamanisthere!averyhorse,Thathasheknowsnotwhat。Nature,whatthingsthereareMostabjectinregardanddearinuse!
  WhatthingsagainmostdearintheesteemAndpoorinworth!Nowshallweseeto—morrow——
  Anactthatverychancedoththrowuponhim——
  Ajaxrenown’d。Oheavens,whatsomemendo,Whilesomemenleavetodo!
  Howsomemencreepinskittishfortune’shall,Whilesothersplaytheidiotsinhereyes!
  Howonemaneatsintoanother’spride,Whileprideisfastinginhiswantonness!
  ToseetheseGrecianlords!——why,evenalreadyTheyclapthelubberAjaxontheshoulder,AsifhisfootwereonbraveHector’sbreastAndgreatTroyshrieking。ACHILLESIdobelieveit;fortheypass’dbymeAsmisersdobybeggars,neithergavetomeGoodwordnorlook:what,aremydeedsforgot?ULYSSESTimehath,mylord,awalletathisback,Whereinheputsalmsforoblivion,Agreat—sizedmonsterofingratitudes:
  Thosescrapsaregooddeedspast;whicharedevour’dAsfastastheyaremade,forgotassoonAsdone:perseverance,dearmylord,Keepshonourbright:tohavedoneistohangQuiteoutoffashion,likearustymailInmonumentalmockery。Taketheinstantway;
  Forhonourtravelsinastraitsonarrow,Whereonebutgoesabreast:keepthenthepath;
  ForemulationhathathousandsonsThatonebyonepursue:ifyougiveway,Orhedgeasidefromthedirectforthright,Liketoanenter’dtide,theyallrushbyAndleaveyouhindmost;
  Orlikeagallanthorsefall’ninfirstrank,Liethereforpavementtotheabjectrear,O’er—runandtrampledon:thenwhattheydoinpresent,Thoughlessthanyoursinpast,musto’ertopyours;
  FortimeislikeafashionablehostThatslightlyshakeshispartingguestbythehand,Andwithhisarmsoutstretch’d,ashewouldfly,Graspsinthecomer:welcomeeversmiles,Andfarewellgoesoutsighing。O,letnotvirtueseekRemunerationforthethingitwas;
  Forbeauty,wit,Highbirth,vigourofbone,desertinservice,Love,friendship,charity,aresubjectsallToenviousandcalumniatingtime。
  Onetouchofnaturemakesthewholeworldkin,Thatallwithoneconsentpraisenew—borngawds,Thoughtheyaremadeandmouldedofthingspast,AndgivetodustthatisalittlegiltMorelaudthangilto’er—dusted。
  Thepresenteyepraisesthepresentobject。
  Thenmarvelnot,thougreatandcompleteman,ThatalltheGreeksbegintoworshipAjax;
  SincethingsinmotionsoonercatchtheeyeThanwhatnotstirs。Thecrywentonceonthee,Andstillitmight,andyetitmayagain,IfthouwouldstnotentombthyselfaliveAndcasethyreputationinthytent;
  Whosegloriousdeeds,butinthesefieldsoflate,Madeemulousmissions’mongstthegodsthemselvesAnddravegreatMarstofaction。ACHILLESOfthismyprivacyIhavestrongreasons。ULYSSESBut’gainstyourprivacyThereasonsaremorepotentandheroical:
  ’Tisknown,Achilles,thatyouareinloveWithoneofPriam’sdaughters。ACHILLESHa!known!ULYSSESIsthatawonder?
  Theprovidencethat’sinawatchfulstateKnowsalmosteverygrainofPlutus’gold,Findsbottomintheuncomprehensivedeeps,Keepsplacewiththoughtandalmost,likethegods,Doesthoughtsunveilintheirdumbcradles。
  Thereisamystery——withwhomrelationDurstnevermeddle——inthesoulofstate;
  WhichhathanoperationmoredivineThanbreathorpencangiveexpressureto:
  AllthecommercethatyouhavehadwithTroyAsperfectlyisoursasyours,mylord;
  AndbetterwoulditfitAchillesmuchTothrowdownHectorthanPolyxena:
  ButitmustgrieveyoungPyrrhusnowathome,Whenfameshallinourislandssoundhertrump,AndalltheGreekishgirlsshalltrippingsing,’GreatHector’ssisterdidAchilleswin,ButourgreatAjaxbravelybeatdownhim。’
  Farewell,mylord:Iasyourloverspeak;
  Thefoolslideso’ertheicethatyoushouldbreak。
  ExitPATROCLUSTothiseffect,Achilles,haveImovedyou:
  AwomanimpudentandmannishgrownIsnotmoreloathedthananeffeminatemanIntimeofaction。Istandcondemn’dforthis;
  TheythinkmylittlestomachtothewarAndyourgreatlovetomerestrainsyouthus:
  Sweet,rouseyourself;andtheweakwantonCupidShallfromyourneckunloosehisamorousfold,And,likeadew—dropfromthelion’smane,Beshooktoair。ACHILLESShallAjaxfightwithHector?PATROCLUSAy,andperhapsreceivemuchhonourbyhim。ACHILLESIseemyreputationisatstakeMyfameisshrewdlygored。PATROCLUSO,then,beware;
  Thosewoundshealillthatmendogivethemselves:
  OmissiontodowhatisnecessarySealsacommissiontoablankofdanger;
  Anddanger,likeanague,subtlytaintsEventhenwhenwesitidlyinthesun。ACHILLESGocallThersiteshither,sweetPatroclus:
  I’llsendthefooltoAjaxanddesirehimToinvitetheTrojanlordsafterthecombatToseeushereunarm’d:Ihaveawoman’slonging,AnappetitethatIamsickwithal,ToseegreatHectorinhisweedsofpeace,Totalkwithhimandtobeholdhisvisage,Eventomyfullofview。
  EnterTHERSITES
  Alaboursaved!THERSITESAwonder!ACHILLESWhat?THERSITESAjaxgoesupanddownthefield,askingforhimself。ACHILLESHowso?THERSITESHemustfightsinglyto—morrowwithHector,andissopropheticallyproudofanheroicalcudgellingthatheravesinsayingnothing。ACHILLESHowcanthatbe?THERSITESWhy,hestalksupanddownlikeapeacock,——astrideandastand:ruminateslikeanhostessthathathnoarithmeticbutherbraintosetdownherreckoning:
  biteshislipwithapoliticregard,aswhoshouldsay’Therewerewitinthishead,an’twouldout;’
  andsothereis,butitliesascoldlyinhimasfireinaflint,whichwillnotshowwithoutknocking。
  Theman’sundoneforever;forifHectorbreaknothisnecki’thecombat,he’llbreak’thimselfinvain—glory。Heknowsnotme:Isaid’Goodmorrow,Ajax;’andhereplies’Thanks,Agamemnon。’Whatthinkyouofthismanthattakesmeforthegeneral?
  He’sgrownaveryland—fish,language—less,amonster。
  Aplagueofopinion!amanmaywearitonbothsides,likealeatherjerkin。ACHILLESThoumustbemyambassadortohim,Thersites。THERSITESWho,I?why,he’llanswernobody;heprofessesnotanswering:speakingisforbeggars;hewearshistonguein’sarms。Iwillputonhispresence:
  letPatroclusmakedemandstome,youshallseethepageantofAjax。ACHILLESTohim,Patroclus;tellhimIhumblydesirethevaliantAjaxtoinvitethemostvalorousHectortocomeunarmedtomytent,andtoprocuresafe—conductforhispersonofthemagnanimousandmostillustrioussix—or—seven—times—honouredcaptain—generaloftheGrecianarmy,Agamemnon,etcetera。Dothis。PATROCLUSJoveblessgreatAjax!THERSITESHum!PATROCLUSIcomefromtheworthyAchilles,——THERSITESHa!PATROCLUSWhomosthumblydesiresyoutoinviteHectortohistent,——THERSITESHum!PATROCLUSAndtoprocuresafe—conductfromAgamemnon。THERSITESAgamemnon!PATROCLUSAy,mylord。THERSITESHa!PATROCLUSWhatsayyouto’t?THERSITESGodb’wi’you,withallmyheart。PATROCLUSYouranswer,sir。THERSITESIfto—morrowbeafairday,byeleveno’clockitwillgoonewayorother:howsoever,heshallpayformeerehehasme。PATROCLUSYouranswer,sir。THERSITESFareyouwell,withallmyheart。ACHILLESWhy,butheisnotinthistune,ishe?THERSITESNo,buthe’souto’tunethus。WhatmusicwillbeinhimwhenHectorhasknockedouthisbrains,I
  knownot;but,Iamsure,none,unlessthefiddlerApollogethissinewstomakecatlingson。ACHILLESCome,thoushaltbearalettertohimstraight。THERSITESLetmebearanothertohishorse;forthat’sthemorecapablecreature。ACHILLESMymindistroubled,likeafountainstirr’d;
  AndImyselfseenotthebottomofit。
  ExeuntACHILLESandPATROCLUSTHERSITESWouldthefountainofyourmindwereclearagain,thatImightwateranassatit!Ihadratherbeatickinasheepthansuchavaliantignorance。
  ExitACTIVSCENEI。Troy。Astreet。Enter,fromoneside,AENEAS,andServantwithatorch;
  fromtheother,PARIS,DEIPHOBUS,ANTENOR,DIOMEDES,andothers,withtorchesPARISSee,ho!whoisthatthere?DEIPHOBUSItistheLordAEneas。AENEASIstheprincethereinperson?
  HadIsogoodoccasiontolielongAsyou,princeParis,nothingbutheavenlybusinessShouldrobmybed—mateofmycompany。DIOMEDESThat’smymindtoo。Goodmorrow,LordAEneas。PARISAvaliantGreek,AEneas,——takehishand,——
  Witnesstheprocessofyourspeech,whereinYoutoldhowDiomed,awholeweekbydays,Didhauntyouinthefield。AENEASHealthtoyou,valiantsir,Duringallquestionofthegentletruce;
  ButwhenImeetyouarm’d,asblackdefianceAsheartcanthinkorcourageexecute。DIOMEDESTheoneandotherDiomedembraces。
  Ourbloodsarenowincalm;and,solong,health!
  Butwhencontentionandoccasionmeet,ByJove,I’llplaythehunterforthylifeWithallmyforce,pursuitandpolicy。AENEASAndthoushalthuntalion,thatwillflyWithhisfacebackward。Inhumanegentleness,WelcometoTroy!now,byAnchises’life,Welcome,indeed!ByVenus’handIswear,NomanalivecanloveinsuchasortThethinghemeanstokillmoreexcellently。DIOMEDESWesympathize:Jove,letAEneaslive,Iftomyswordhisfatebenottheglory,Athousandcompletecoursesofthesun!
  But,inmineemuloushonour,lethimdie,Witheveryjointawound,andthatto—morrow!AENEASWeknoweachotherwell。DIOMEDESWedo;andlongtoknoweachotherworse。PARISThisisthemostdespitefulgentlegreeting,Thenoblesthatefullove,thate’erIheardof。
  Whatbusiness,lord,soearly?AENEASIwassentfortotheking;butwhy,I
  knownot。PARISHispurposemeetsyou:’twastobringthisGreekToCalchas’house,andtheretorenderhim,FortheenfreedAntenor,thefairCressid:
  Let’shaveyourcompany,or,ifyouplease,Hastetherebeforeus:Iconstantlydothink——
  Orrather,callmythoughtacertainknowledge——
  MybrotherTroiluslodgesthereto—night:
  Rousehimandgivehimnoteofourapproach。
  Withthewholequalitywherefore:IfearWeshallbemuchunwelcome。AENEASThatIassureyou:
  TroilushadratherTroywerebornetoGreeceThanCressidbornefromTroy。PARISThereisnohelp;
  ThebitterdispositionofthetimeWillhaveitso。On,lord;we’llfollowyou。AENEASGoodmorrow,all。
  ExitwithServantPARISAndtellme,nobleDiomed,faith,tellmetrue,Eveninthesoulofsoundgood—fellowship,Who,inyourthoughts,meritsfairHelenbest,MyselforMenelaus?DIOMEDESBothalike:
  Hemeritswelltohaveher,thatdothseekher,Notmakinganyscrupleofhersoilure,Withsuchahellofpainandworldofcharge,Andyouaswelltokeepher,thatdefendher,Notpalatingthetasteofherdishonour,Withsuchacostlylossofwealthandfriends:
  He,likeapulingcuckold,woulddrinkupTheleesanddregsofaflattamedpiece;
  You,likealecher,outofwhorishloinsArepleasedtobreedoutyourinheritors:
  Bothmeritspoised,eachweighsnorlessnormore;
  Butheashe,theheavierforawhore。PARISYouaretoobittertoyourcountrywoman。DIOMEDESShe’sbittertohercountry:hearme,Paris:
  ForeveryfalsedropinherbawdyveinsAGrecian’slifehathsunk;foreveryscrupleOfhercontaminatedcarrionweight,ATrojanhathbeenslain:sinceshecouldspeak,ShehathnotgivensomanygoodwordsbreathAsforherGreeksandTrojanssuffer’ddeath。PARISFairDiomed,youdoaschapmendo,Dispraisethethingthatyoudesiretobuy:
  Butweinsilenceholdthisvirtuewell,We’llbutcommendwhatweintendtosell。
  Hereliesourway。
  ExeuntSCENEII。Thesame。CourtofPandarus’house。EnterTROILUSandCRESSIDATROILUSDear,troublenotyourself:themorniscold。CRESSIDAThen,sweetmylord,I’llcallmineuncledown;
  Heshallunboltthegates。TROILUSTroublehimnot;
  Tobed,tobed:sleepkillthoseprettyeyes,AndgiveassoftattachmenttothysensesAsinfants’emptyofallthought!CRESSIDAGoodmorrow,then。TROILUSIpritheenow,tobed。CRESSIDAAreyoua—wearyofme?TROILUSOCressida!butthatthebusyday,Wakedbythelark,hathrousedtheribaldcrows,Anddreamingnightwillhideourjoysnolonger,Iwouldnotfromthee。CRESSIDANighthathbeentoobrief。TROILUSBeshrewthewitch!withvenomouswightsshestaysAstediouslyashell,butfliesthegraspsofloveWithwingsmoremomentary—swiftthanthought。
  Youwillcatchcold,andcurseme。CRESSIDAPrithee,tarry:
  Youmenwillnevertarry。
  OfoolishCressid!Imighthavestillheldoff,Andthenyouwouldhavetarried。Hark!
  there’soneup。PANDARUS[Within]What,’sallthedoorsopenhere?TROILUSItisyouruncle。CRESSIDAApestilenceonhim!nowwillhebemocking:
  Ishallhavesuchalife!
  EnterPANDARUSPANDARUSHownow,hownow!howgomaidenheads?
  Here,youmaid!where’smycousinCressid?CRESSIDAGohangyourself,younaughtymockinguncle!
  Youbringmetodo,andthenyoufloutmetoo。PANDARUSTodowhat?todowhat?lethersaywhat:whathaveIbroughtyoutodo?CRESSIDACome,come,beshrewyourheart!you’llne’erbegood,Norsufferothers。PANDARUSHa!ha!Alas,poorwretch!ah,poorcapocchia!
  hastnotsleptto—night?wouldhenot,anaughtyman,letitsleep?abugbeartakehim!CRESSIDADidnotItellyou?Wouldhewereknock’di’thehead!
  KnockingwithinWho’sthatatdoor?gooduncle,goandsee。
  Mylord,comeyouagainintomychamber:
  Yousmileandmockme,asifImeantnaughtily。TROILUSHa,ha!CRESSIDACome,youaredeceived,Ithinkofnosuchthing。
  KnockingwithinHowearnestlytheyknock!Prayyou,comein:
  IwouldnotforhalfTroyhaveyouseenhere。
  ExeuntTROILUSandCRESSIDAPANDARUSWho’sthere?what’sthematter?willyoubeatdownthedoor?Hownow!what’sthematter?
  EnterAENEASAENEASGoodmorrow,lord,goodmorrow。PANDARUSWho’sthere?myLordAEneas!Bymytroth,Iknewyounot:whatnewswithyousoearly?AENEASIsnotPrinceTroilushere?PANDARUSHere!whatshouldhedohere?AENEASCome,heishere,mylord;donotdenyhim:
  Itdothimporthimmuchtospeakwithme。PANDARUSIshehere,sayyou?’tismorethanI
  know,I’llbesworn:formyownpart,Icameinlate。Whatshouldhedohere?AENEASWho!——nay,then:come,come,you’lldohimwrongereyou’reware:you’llbesotruetohim,tobefalsetohim:donotyouknowofhim,butyetgofetchhimhither;go。
  Re—enterTROILUSTROILUSHownow!what’sthematter?AENEASMylord,Iscarcehaveleisuretosaluteyou,Mymatterissorash:thereisathandParisyourbrother,andDeiphobus,TheGrecianDiomed,andourAntenorDeliver’dtous;andforhimforthwith,Erethefirstsacrifice,withinthishour,WemustgiveuptoDiomedes’handTheLadyCressida。TROILUSIsitsoconcluded?AENEASByPriamandthegeneralstateofTroy:
  Theyareathandandreadytoeffectit。TROILUSHowmyachievementsmockme!
  Iwillgomeetthem:and,myLordAEneas,Wemetbychance;youdidnotfindmehere。AENEASGood,good,mylord;thesecretsofnatureHavenotmoregiftintaciturnity。
  ExeuntTROILUSandAENEASPANDARUSIs’tpossible?nosoonergotbutlost?
  ThedeviltakeAntenor!theyoungprincewillgomad:aplagueuponAntenor!Iwouldtheyhadbroke’sneck!
  Re—enterCRESSIDACRESSIDAHownow!what’sthematter?whowashere?PANDARUSAh,ah!CRESSIDAWhysighyousoprofoundly?where’smylord?gone!
  Tellme,sweetuncle,what’sthematter?PANDARUSWouldIwereasdeepundertheearthasIamabove!CRESSIDAOthegods!what’sthematter?PANDARUSPrithee,gettheein:wouldthouhadstne’erbeenborn!Iknewthouwouldstbehisdeath。O,poorgentleman!AplagueuponAntenor!CRESSIDAGooduncle,Ibeseechyou,onmyknees!
  beseechyou,what’sthematter?PANDARUSThoumustbegone,wench,thoumustbegone;thouartchangedforAntenor:thoumusttothyfather,andbegonefromTroilus:’twillbehisdeath;
  ’twillbehisbane;hecannotbearit。CRESSIDAOyouimmortalgods!Iwillnotgo。PANDARUSThoumust。CRESSIDAIwillnot,uncle:Ihaveforgotmyfather;
  Iknownotouchofconsanguinity;
  Nokinnolove,noblood,nosoulsonearmeAsthesweetTroilus。Oyougodsdivine!
  MakeCressid’snametheverycrownoffalsehood,IfeversheleaveTroilus!Time,force,anddeath,Dotothisbodywhatextremesyoucan;
  ButthestrongbaseandbuildingofmyloveIsastheverycentreoftheearth,Drawingallthingstoit。I’llgoinandweep,——PANDARUSDo,do。CRESSIDATearmybrighthairandscratchmypraisedcheeks,CrackmyclearvoicewithsobsandbreakmyheartWithsoundingTroilus。IwillnotgofromTroy。
  ExeuntSCENEIII。Thesame。StreetbeforePandarus’house。EnterPARIS,TROILUS,AENEAS,DEIPHOBUS,ANTENOR,andDIOMEDESPARISItisgreatmorning,andthehourprefix’dOfherdeliverytothisvaliantGreekComesfastupon。GoodmybrotherTroilus,Tellyoutheladywhatsheistodo,Andhastehertothepurpose。TROILUSWalkintoherhouse;
  I’llbringhertotheGrecianpresently:
  AndtohishandwhenIdeliverher,Thinkitanaltar,andthybrotherTroilusApriestthereofferingtoithisownheart。
  ExitPARISIknowwhat’tistolove;
  Andwould,asIshallpity,Icouldhelp!
  Pleaseyouwalkin,mylords。
  ExeuntSCENEIV。Thesame。Pandarus’house。EnterPANDARUSandCRESSIDAPANDARUSBemoderate,bemoderate。CRESSIDAWhytellyoumeofmoderation?
  Thegriefisfine,full,perfect,thatItaste,AndviolentethinasenseasstrongAsthatwhichcausethit:howcanImoderateit?
  IfIcouldtemporizewithmyaffection,Orbrewittoaweakandcolderpalate,ThelikeallaymentcouldIgivemygrief。
  Myloveadmitsnoqualifyingdross;
  Nomoremygrief,insuchapreciousloss。PANDARUSHere,here,herehecomes。
  EnterTROILUS
  Ah,sweetducks!CRESSIDAOTroilus!Troilus!
  EmbracinghimPANDARUSWhatapairofspectaclesishere!
  Letmeembracetoo。’Oheart,’asthegoodlysayingis,’——Oheart,heavyheart,Whysigh’stthouwithoutbreaking?
  whereheanswersagain,’BecausethoucanstnoteasethysmartByfriendshipnorbyspeaking。’
  Therewasneveratruerrhyme。Letuscastawaynothing,forwemaylivetohaveneedofsuchaverse:weseeit,weseeit。Hownow,lambs?TROILUSCressid,Ilovetheeinsostrain’dapurity,Thatthebless’dgods,asangrywithmyfancy,MorebrightinzealthanthedevotionwhichColdlipsblowtotheirdeities,taketheefromme。CRESSIDAHavethegodsenvy?PANDARUSAy,ay,ay,ay;’tistooplainacase。CRESSIDAAndisittruethatImustgofromTroy?TROILUSAhatefultruth。CRESSIDAWhat,andfromTroilustoo?TROILUSFromTroyandTroilus。CRESSIDAIsitpossible?TROILUSAndsuddenly;whereinjuryofchancePutsbackleave—taking,justlesroughlybyAlltimeofpause,rudelybeguilesourlipsOfallrejoindure,forciblypreventsOurlock’dembrasures,stranglesourdearvowsEveninthebirthofourownlabouringbreath:
  Wetwo,thatwithsomanythousandsighsDidbuyeachother,mustpoorlysellourselvesWiththerudebrevityanddischargeofone。
  Injurioustimenowwitharobber’shasteCramshisrichthieveryup,heknowsnothow:
  Asmanyfarewellsasbestarsinheaven,Withdistinctbreathandconsign’dkissestothem,Hefumblesupintoaloseadieu,Andscantsuswithasinglefamish’dkiss,Distastedwiththesaltofbrokentears。AENEAS[Within]Mylord,istheladyready?TROILUSHark!youarecall’d:somesaytheGeniussoCries’come’tohimthatinstantlymustdie。
  Bidthemhavepatience;sheshallcomeanon。PANDARUSWherearemytears?rain,tolaythiswind,ormyheartwillbeblownupbytheroot。
  ExitCRESSIDAImustthentotheGrecians?TROILUSNoremedy。CRESSIDAAwofulCressid’mongstthemerryGreeks!
  Whenshallweseeagain?TROILUSHearme,mylove:bethoubuttrueofheart,——CRESSIDAItrue!hownow!whatwickeddeemisthis?TROILUSNay,wemustuseexpostulationkindly,Foritispartingfromus:
  Ispeaknot’bethoutrue,’asfearingthee,ForIwillthrowmyglovetoDeathhimself,Thatthere’snomaculationinthyheart:
  But’bethoutrue,’sayI,tofashioninMysequentprotestation;bethoutrue,AndIwillseethee。CRESSIDAO,youshallbeexposed,mylord,todangersAsinfiniteasimminent!butI’llbetrue。TROILUSAndI’llgrowfriendwithdanger。Wearthissleeve。CRESSIDAAndyouthisglove。WhenshallIseeyou?TROILUSIwillcorrupttheGreciansentinels,Togivetheenightlyvisitation。
  Butyetbetrue。CRESSIDAOheavens!’betrue’again!TROILUSHearwhileIspeakit,love:
  TheGrecianyouthsarefullofquality;
  They’reloving,wellcomposedwithgiftsofnature,Flowingandswellingo’erwithartsandexercise:
  Hownoveltymaymove,andpartswithperson,Alas,akindofgodlyjealousy——
  Which,Ibeseechyou,callavirtuoussin——
  Makesmeafeard。CRESSIDAOheavens!youlovemenot。TROILUSDieIavillain,then!
  InthisIdonotcallyourfaithinquestionSomainlyasmymerit:Icannotsing,Norheelthehighlavolt,norsweetentalk,Norplayatsubtlegames;fairvirtuesall,TowhichtheGreciansaremostpromptandpregnant:
  ButIcantellthatineachgraceoftheseTherelurksastillanddumb—discoursivedevilThattemptsmostcunningly:butbenottempted。CRESSIDADoyouthinkIwill?TROILUSNo。
  Butsomethingmaybedonethatwewillnot:
  Andsometimeswearedevilstoourselves,Whenwewilltemptthefrailtyofourpowers,Presumingontheirchangefulpotency。AENEAS[Within]Nay,goodmylord,——TROILUSCome,kiss;andletuspart。PARIS[Within]BrotherTroilus!TROILUSGoodbrother,comeyouhither;
  AndbringAEneasandtheGrecianwithyou。CRESSIDAMylord,willyoubetrue?TROILUSWho,I?alas,itismyvice,myfault:
  Whilesothersfishwithcraftforgreatopinion,Iwithgreattruthcatchmeresimplicity;
  Whilstsomewithcunninggildtheircoppercrowns,WithtruthandplainnessIdowearminebare。
  Fearnotmytruth:themoralofmywitIs’plainandtrue;’there’sallthereachofit。
  EnterAENEAS,PARIS,ANTENOR,DEIPHOBUS,andDIOMEDES
  Welcome,SirDiomed!hereistheladyWhichforAntenorwedeliveryou:
  Attheport,lord,I’llgivehertothyhand,Andbythewaypossesstheewhatsheis。
  Entreatherfair;and,bymysoul,fairGreek,Ife’erthoustandatmercyofmysword,NameCressidaandthylifeshallbeassafeAsPriamisinIlion。DIOMEDESFairLadyCressid,Sopleaseyou,savethethanksthisprinceexpects:
  Thelustreinyoureye,heaveninyourcheek,Pleadsyourfairusage;andtoDiomedYoushallbemistress,andcommandhimwholly。TROILUSGrecian,thoudostnotusemecourteously,ToshamethezealofmypetitiontotheeInpraisingher:Itellthee,lordofGreece,Sheisasfarhigh—soaringo’erthypraisesAsthouunworthytobecall’dherservant。
  Ichargetheeuseherwell,evenformycharge;
  For,bythedreadfulPluto,ifthoudostnot,ThoughthegreatbulkAchillesbethyguard,I’llcutthythroat。DIOMEDESO,benotmoved,PrinceTroilus:
  Letmebeprivilegedbymyplaceandmessage,Tobeaspeakerfree;whenIamhenceI’llanswertomylust:andknowyou,lord,I’llnothingdooncharge:toherownworthSheshallbeprized;butthatyousay’be’tso,’
  I’llspeakitinmyspiritandhonour,’no。’TROILUSCome,totheport。I’lltellthee,Diomed,Thisbraveshalloftmaketheetohidethyhead。
  Lady,givemeyourhand,and,aswewalk,Toourownselvesbendweourneedfultalk。
  ExeuntTROILUS,CRESSIDA,andDIOMEDES
  TrumpetwithinPARISHark!Hector’strumpet。AENEASHowhavewespentthismorning!
  Theprincemustthinkmetardyandremiss,Thatsoretoridebeforehimtothefield。PARIS’TisTroilus’fault:come,come,tofieldwithhim。DEIPHOBUSLetusmakereadystraight。AENEASYea,withabridegroom’sfreshalacrity,LetusaddresstotendonHector’sheels:
  ThegloryofourTroydoththisdaylieOnhisfairworthandsinglechivalry。
  ExeuntSCENEV。TheGreciancamp。Listssetout。EnterAJAX,armed;AGAMEMNON,ACHILLES,PATROCLUS,MENELAUS,ULYSSES,NESTOR,andothersAGAMEMNONHereartthouinappointmentfreshandfair,Anticipatingtimewithstartingcourage。
  GivewiththytrumpetaloudnotetoTroy,ThoudreadfulAjax;thattheappalledairMaypiercetheheadofthegreatcombatantAndhalehimhither。AJAXThou,trumpet,there’smypurse。
  Nowcrackthylungs,andsplitthybrazenpipe:
  Blow,villain,tillthyspheredbiascheekOutswellthecolicofpuff’dAquilon:
  Come,stretchthychestandletthyeyesspoutblood;
  Thoublow’stforHector。
  TrumpetsoundsULYSSESNotrumpetanswers。ACHILLES’Tisbutearlydays。AGAMEMNONIsnotyondDiomed,withCalchas’daughter?ULYSSES’Tishe,Ikenthemannerofhisgait;
  Herisesonthetoe:thatspiritofhisInaspirationliftshimfromtheearth。
  EnterDIOMEDES,withCRESSIDAAGAMEMNONIsthistheLadyCressid?DIOMEDESEvenshe。AGAMEMNONMostdearlywelcometotheGreeks,sweetlady。NESTOROurgeneraldothsaluteyouwithakiss。ULYSSESYetisthekindnessbutparticular;
  ’Twerebettershewerekiss’dingeneral。NESTORAndverycourtlycounsel:I’llbegin。
  SomuchforNestor。ACHILLESI’lltakewhatwinterfromyourlips,fairlady:
  Achillesbidsyouwelcome。MENELAUSIhadgoodargumentforkissingonce。PATROCLUSButthat’snoargumentforkissingnow;
  Forthispopp’dParisinhishardiment,Andpartedthusyouandyourargument。ULYSSESOdeadlygall,andthemeofallourscorns!
  Forwhichweloseourheadstogildhishorns。PATROCLUSThefirstwasMenelaus’kiss;this,mine:
  Patrocluskissesyou。MENELAUSO,thisistrim!PATROCLUSParisandIkissevermoreforhim。MENELAUSI’llhavemykiss,sir。Lady,byyourleave。CRESSIDAInkissing,doyourenderorreceive?PATROCLUSBothtakeandgive。CRESSIDAI’llmakemymatchtolive,Thekissyoutakeisbetterthanyougive;
  Thereforenokiss。MENELAUSI’llgiveyouboot,I’llgiveyouthreeforone。CRESSIDAYou’reanoddman;giveevenorgivenone。MENELAUSAnoddman,lady!everymanisodd。CRESSIDANo,Parisisnot;foryouknow’tistrue,Thatyouareodd,andheisevenwithyou。MENELAUSYoufillipmeo’thehead。CRESSIDANo,I’llbesworn。ULYSSESItwerenomatch,yournailagainsthishorn。
  MayI,sweetlady,begakissofyou?CRESSIDAYoumay。ULYSSESIdodesireit。CRESSIDAWhy,beg,then。ULYSSESWhythenforVenus’sake,givemeakiss,WhenHelenisamaidagain,andhis。CRESSIDAIamyourdebtor,claimitwhen’tisdue。ULYSSESNever’smyday,andthenakissofyou。DIOMEDESLady,aword:I’llbringyoutoyourfather。
  ExitwithCRESSIDANESTORAwomanofquicksense。ULYSSESFie,fieuponher!
  There’slanguageinhereye,hercheek,herlip,Nay,herfootspeaks;herwantonspiritslookoutAteveryjointandmotiveofherbody。
  O,theseencounterers,sogliboftongue,Thatgiveaccostingwelcomeereitcomes,AndwideunclaspthetablesoftheirthoughtsToeveryticklishreader!setthemdownForsluttishspoilsofopportunityAnddaughtersofthegame。
  TrumpetwithinALLTheTrojans’trumpet。AGAMEMNONYondercomesthetroop。
  EnterHECTOR,armed;AENEAS,TROILUS,andotherTrojans,withAttendantsAENEASHail,allyoustateofGreece!whatshallbedoneTohimthatvictorycommands?ordoyoupurposeAvictorshallbeknown?willyoutheknightsShalltotheedgeofallextremityPursueeachother,orshallbedividedByanyvoiceororderofthefield?
  Hectorbadeask。AGAMEMNONWhichwaywouldHectorhaveit?AENEASHecaresnot;he’llobeyconditions。ACHILLES’TisdonelikeHector;butsecurelydone,Alittleproudly,andgreatdealmisprizingTheknightopposed。AENEASIfnotAchilles,sir,Whatisyourname?ACHILLESIfnotAchilles,nothing。AENEASThereforeAchilles:but,whate’er,knowthis:
  Intheextremityofgreatandlittle,ValourandprideexcelthemselvesinHector;
  Theonealmostasinfiniteasall,Theotherblankasnothing。Weighhimwell,Andthatwhichlookslikeprideiscourtesy。
  ThisAjaxishalfmadeofHector’sblood:
  Inlovewhereof,halfHectorstaysathome;
  Halfheart,halfhand,halfHectorcomestoseekThisblendedknight,halfTrojanandhalfGreek。ACHILLESAmaidenbattle,then?O,Iperceiveyou。
  Re—enterDIOMEDESAGAMEMNONHereisSirDiomed。Go,gentleknight,StandbyourAjax:asyouandLordAEneasConsentupontheorderoftheirfight,Sobeit;eithertotheuttermost,Orelseabreath:thecombatantsbeingkinHalfstintstheirstrifebeforetheirstrokesbegin。