Razumovranforwardunsteadily,withparted,voicelesslips。Theouterdoorstoodopen。Staggeringoutonthelanding,heleanedfaroverthebanister。Gazingdownintothedeepblackshaftwithatinyglimmeringflameatthebottom,hetracedbyeartherapidspiraldescentofsomebodyrunningdownthestairsontiptoe。Itwasalight,swift,patteringsound,whichsankawayfromhimintothedepths:afleetingshadowpassedovertheglimmer——awinkofthetinyflame。Thenstillness。
  Razumovhungover,breathingthecoldrawairtaintedbytheevilsmellsoftheuncleanstaircase。Allquiet。
  Hewentbackintohisroomslowly,shuttingthedoorsafterhim。
  Thepeacefulsteadylightofhisreading—lampshoneonthewatch。
  Razumovstoodlookingdownatthelittlewhitedial。Itwantedyetthreeminutestomidnight。Hetookthewatchintohishandfumblingly。
  "Slow,"hemuttered,andastrangefitofnervelessnesscameoverhim。Hiskneesshook,thewatchandchainslippedthroughhisfingersinaninstantandfellonthefloor。Hewassostartledthathenearlyfellhimself。Whenatlastheregainedenoughconfidenceinhislimbstostoopforitheheldittohisearatonce。Afterawhilehegrowled——
  "Stopped,"andpausedforquitealongtimebeforehemutteredsourly——
  "It’sdone……Andnowtowork。"
  Hesatdown,reachedhaphazardforabook,openeditinmiddleandbegantoread;butaftergoingconscientiouslyovertwolineshelosthisholdontheprintcompletelyanddidnottrytoregainit。Hethought——
  "Therewastoacertaintyapoliceagentofsomesortwatchingthehouseacrossthestreet。"
  Heimaginedhimlurkinginadarkgateway,goggle—eyed,muffledupinacloaktothenoseandwithaGeneral’splumed,cockedhatonhishead。Thisabsurditymadehimstartinthechairconvulsively。
  Heliterallyhadtoshakehisheadviolentlytogetridofit。
  Themanwouldbedisguisedperhapsasapeasant……abeggar……
  Perhapshewouldbejustbuttonedupinadarkovercoatandcarryingaloadedstick——ashifty—eyedrascal,smellingofrawonionsandspirits。
  Thisevocationbroughtonpositivenausea。"WhydoIwanttobotheraboutthis?"thoughtRazumovwithdisgust。"AmIagendarme?
  Moreover,itisdone。"
  Hegotupingreatagitation。Itwasnotdone。Notyet。Nottillhalf—pasttwelve。Andthewatchhadstopped。Thisreducedhimtodespair。Impossibletoknowthetime!Theandladyandallthepeopleacrossthelandingwereasleep。Howcouldhegoand……Godknowswhattheywouldimagine,orhowmuchtheywouldguess。Hedarednotgointothestreetstofindout。
  "Iamasuspectnow。There’snouseshirkingthatfact,"hesaidtohimselfbitterly。IfHaldinfromsomecauseoranothergavethemtheslipand。failedtoturnupintheKarabelnayathepolicewouldbeinvadinghislodging。Andifhewerenotinhecouldneverclearhimself。Never。Razumovlookedwildlyaboutasifforsomemeansofseizingupontimewhichseemedtohaveescapedhimaltogether。Hehadnever,asfarashecouldremember,heardthestrikingofthattownclockinhisroomsbeforethisnight。
  Andhewasnotevensurenowwhetherhehadhearditreallyonthisnight。
  Hewenttothewindowandstoodtherewithslightlybentheadonthewatchforthefaintsound。’IwillstayheretillIhearsomething,"hesaidtohimself。Hestoodstill,hisearturnedtothepanes。Anatrociousachingnumbnesswithshootingpainsinhisbackandlegstorturedhim。Hedidnotbudge。Hismindhoveredonthebordersofdelirium。Heheardhimselfsuddenlysaying,"Iconfess,"asapersonmightdoontherack。"Iamontherack,"hethought。Hefeltreadytoswoon。Thefaintdeepboomofthedistantclockseemedtoexplodeinhishead——hehearditsoclearly……One!
  IfHaldinhadnotturnedupthepolicewouldhavebeenalreadyhereransackingthehouse。Nosoundreachedhim。Thistimeitwasdone。
  Hedraggedhimselfpainfullytothetableanddroppedintothechair。Heflungthebookawayandtookasquaresheetofpaper。
  Itwaslikethepileofsheetscoveredwithhisneatminutehandwriting,onlyblank。Hetookapenbrusquelyanddippeditwithavaguenotionofgoingonwiththewritingofhisessay——buthispenremainedpoisedoverthesheet。Ithungthereforsometimebeforeitcamedownandformedlongscrawlyletters。
  Still—facedandhislipssethard,Razumovbegantowrite。Whenhewrotealargehandhisneatwritinglostitscharacteraltogether——becameunsteady,almostchildish。Hewrotefivelinesoneundertheother。
  HistorynotTheory。
  PatriotismnotInternationalism。
  EvolutionnotRevolution。
  DirectionnotDestruction。
  UnitynotDisruption。
  Hegazedatthemdully。ThenhiseyesstrayedtothebedandreInajnedfixedthereforagoodmanyminutes,whilehisrighthandgropedalloverthetableforthepenknife。
  Heroseatlast,andwalkingupwithmeasuredstepsstabbedthepaperwiththepenknifetothelathandplasterwallattheheadofthebed。Thisdonehesteppedbackapaceandflourishedhishandwithaglanceroundtheroom。
  Afterthatheneverlookedagainatthebed。Hetookhisbigcloakdownfromitspegand,wrappinghimselfupclosely,wenttoliedownonthehardhorse—hairsofaattheothersideofhisroom。Aleadensleepclosedhiseyelidsatonce。SeveraltimesthatnighthewokeupshiveringfromadreamofwalkingthroughdriftsofsnowinaRussiawherehewasascompletelyaloneasanybetrayedautocratcouldbe;animmense,wintryRussiawhich,somehow,hisviewcouldembraceinallitsenormousexpanseasifitwereamap。Butaftereachshudderingstarthisheavyeyelidsfelloverhisglazedeyesandhesleptagain。
  III
  ApproachingthispartofMr。Razumov’sstory,mymind,thedecentmindofanoldteacheroflanguages,feelsmoreandmorethedifficultyofthetask。
  Thetaskisnotintruththewritinginthenarrativeforma_precis_ofastrangehumandocument,buttherendering——I
  perceiveitnowclearly——ofthemoralconditionsrulingoveralargeportionofthisearth’ssurface;conditionsnoteasilytobeunderstood,muchlessdiscoveredinthelimitsofastory,tillsomekey—wordisfound;awordthatcouldstandatthebackofallthewordscoveringthepages;awordwhich,ifnottruthitself,mayperchanceholdtruthenoughtohelpthemoraldiscoverywhichshouldbetheobjectofeverytale。
  IturnoverforthehundredthtimetheleavesofMr。Razumov’srecord,Ilayitaside,Itakeupthepen——andthepenbeingreadyforitsofficeofsettingdownblackonwhiteIhesitate。Forthewordthatpersistsincreepingunderitspointisnootherwordthan"cynicism。"
  ForthatisthemarkofRussianautocracyandofRussianrevolt。
  Initsprideofnumbers,initsstrangepretensionsofsanctity,andinthesecretreadinesstoabaseitselfinsuffering,thespiritofRussiaisthespiritofcynicism。Itinformsthedeclarationsofherstatesmen,thetheoriesofherrevolutionists,andthemysticvaticinationsofprophetstothepointofmakingfreedomlooklikeaformofdebauch,andtheChristianvirtuesthemselvesappearactuallyindecent……
  ButImustapologizeforthedigression。ItproceedsfromtheconsiderationofthecoursetakenbythestoryofMr。Razumovafterhisconservativeconvictions,dilutedinavagueliberalismnaturaltotheardourofhisage,hadbecomecrystallizedbytheshockofhiscontactwithHaldin。
  Razumovwokeupforthetenthtimeperhapswithaheavyshiver。
  Seeingthelightofdayinhiswindow,heresistedtheinclinationtolayhimselfdownagain。Hedidnotrememberanything,buthedidnotthinkitstrangetofindhimselfonthesofainhiscloakandchilledtothebone。Thelightcomingthroughthewindowseemedstrangelycheerless,containingnopromiseasthelightofeachnewdayshouldforayoungman。Itwastheawakeningofamanmortallyill,orofamanninetyyearsold。Helookedatthelampwhichhadburntitselfout。Itstoodthere,theextinguishedbeaconofhislabours,acoldobjectofbrassandporcelain,amongstthescatteredpagesofhisnotesandsmallpilesofbooks——amerelitterofblackenedpaper——deadmatter——withoutsignificanceorinterest。
  Hegotonhisfeet,anddivestinghimselfofhiscloakhungitonthepeg,goingthroughallthemotionsmechanically。Anincredibledullness,aditch—waterstagnationwassensibletohisperceptionsasthoughlifehadwithdrawnitselffromallthingsandevenfromhisownthoughts。Therewasnotasoundinthehouse。
  Turningawayfromthepeg,hethoughtinthatsamelifelessmannerthatitmustbeveryearlyyet;butwhenhelookedatthewatchonhistablehesawbothhandsarrestedattwelveo’clock。
  "Ah!yes,"hemumbledtohimself,andasifbeginningtogetrousedalittlehetookasurveyofhisroom。Thepaperstabbedtothewallarrestedhisattention。Heeyeditfromthedistancewithoutapprovalorperplexity;butwhenheheardtheservant—girlbeginningtobustleaboutintheouterroomwiththe_samovar_forhismorningtea,hewalkeduptoitandtookitdownwithanairofprofoundindifference。
  Whiledoingthisheglanceddownatthebedonwhichhehadnotsleptthatnight。ThehollowinthepillowmadebytheweightofHaldin’sheadwasverynoticeable。
  Evenhisangeratthissignoftheman’spassagewasdull。Hedidnottrytonurseitintolife。Hedidnothingallthatday;
  heneglectedeventobrushhishair。Theideaofgoingoutneveroccurredtohim——andifhedidnotstartaconnectedtrainofthoughtitwasnotbecausehewasunabletothink。Itwasbecausehewasnotinterestedenough。
  Heyawnedfrequently。Hedranklargequantitiesoftea,hewalkedaboutaimlessly,andwhenhesatdownhedidnotbudgeforalongtime。Hespentsometimedrummingonthewindowwithhisfinger—tipsquietly。Inhislistlesswanderingsroundaboutthetablehecaughtsightofhisownfaceinthelooking—glassandthatarrestedhim。Theeyeswhichreturnedhisstarewerethemostunhappyeyeshehadeverseen。Andthiswasthefirstthingwhichdisturbedthementalstagnationofthatday。
  Hewasnotaffectedpersonally。Hemerelythoughtthatlifewithouthappinessisimpossible。Whatwashappiness?Heyawnedandwentonshufflingaboutandaboutbetweenthewallsofhisroom。Lookingforwardwashappiness——that’sall——nothingmore。
  Tolookforwardtothegratificationofsomedesire,tothegratificationofsomepassion,love,ambition,hate——hatetooindubitably。Loveandhate。Andtoescapethedangersofexistence,tolivewithoutfear,wasalsohappiness。Therewasnothingelse。Absenceoffear——lookingforward。"Oh!themiserablelotofhumanity!"heexclaimedmentally;andaddedatonceinhisthought,"Ioughttobehappyenoughasfarasthatgoes。"Buthewasnotexcitedbythatassurance。Onthecontrary,heyawnedagainashehadbeenyawningallday。Hewasmildlysurprisedtodiscoverhimselfbeingovertakenbynight。
  Theroomgrewdarkswiftlythoughtimehadseemedtostandstill。
  Howwasitthathehadnotnoticedthepassingofthatday?Ofcourse,itwasthewatchbeingstopped……
  Hedidnotlighthislamp,butwentovertothebedandthrewhimselfonitwithoutanyhesitation。Lyingonhisback,heputhishandsunderhisheadandstaredupward。Afteramomenthethought,"Iamlyingherelikethatman。IwonderifhesleptwhileIwasstrugglingwiththeblizzardinthestreets。No,hedidnotsleep。ButwhyshouldInotsleep?"andhefeltthesilenceofthenightpressuponallhislimbslikeaweight。
  Inthecalmofthehardfrostoutside,theclear—cutstrokesofthetownclockcountingoffmidnightpenetratedthequietnessofhissuspendedanimation。
  Againhebegantothink。Itwastwenty—fourhourssincethatmanlefthisroom。RazumovhadadistinctfeelingthatHaldininthefortresswassleepingthatnight。ItwasacertitudewhichmadehimangrybecausehedidnotwanttothinkofHaldin,buthejustifiedittohimselfbyphysiologicalandpsychologicalreasons。Thefellowhadhardlysleptforweeksonhisownconfession,andnoweveryincertitudewasatanendforhim。Nodoubthewaslookingforwardtotheconsummationofhismartyrdom。Amanwhoresignshimselftokillneednotgoveryfarforresignationtodie。HaldinsleptperhapsmoresoundlythanGeneralT———,whosetask——wearyworktoo——wasnotdone,andoverwhoseheadhungtheswordofrevolutionaryvengeance。
  Razumov,rememberingthethick—setmanwithhisheavyjowlrestingonthecollarofhisuniform,thechampionofautocracy,whohadletnosignofsurprise,incredulity,orjoyescapehim,butwhosegoggleeyescouldexpressamortalhatredofallrebellion——Razumovmoveduneasilyonthebed。
  "Hesuspectedme,"hethought。"Isupposehemustsuspecteverybody。Hewouldbecapableofsuspectinghisownwife,ifHaldinhadgonetoherboudoirwithhisconfession。"
  Razumovsatupinanguish。Washetoremainapoliticalsuspectallhisdays?Washetogothroughlifeasamannotwhollytobetrusted——withabadsecretpolicenotetackedontohisrecord?Whatsortoffuturecouldhelookforwardto?
  "Iamnowasuspect,"hethoughtagain;butthehabitofreflectionandthatdesireofsafety,ofanorderedlife,whichwassostronginhimcametohisassistanceasthenightworeon。Hisquiet,steady,andlaboriousexistencewouldvouchatlengthforhisloyalty。Thereweremanypermittedwaystoserveone’scountry。Therewasanactivitythatmadeforprogresswithoutbeingrevolutionary。Thefieldofinfluencewasgreatandinfinitelyvaried——onceonehadconqueredaname。
  Histhoughtlikeacirclingbirdrevertedafterfourand—twentyhourstothesilvermedal,andasitwerepoiseditselfthere。
  Whenthedaybrokehehadnotslept,notforamoment,buthegotupnotverytiredandquitesufficientlyself—possessedforallpracticalpurposes。
  Hewentoutandattendedthreelecturesinthemorning。Buttheworkinthelibrarywasameredumbshowofresearch。Hesatwithmanyvolumesopenbeforehimtryingtomakenotesandextracts。
  Hisnewtranquillitywaslikeaflimsygarment,andseemedtofloatatthemercyofacasualword。Betrayal!Why!thefellowhaddoneallthatwasnecessarytobetrayhimself。Preciouslittlehadbeenneededtodeceivehim。
  "Ihavesaidnowordtohimthatwasnotstrictlytrue。
  Notoneword,"Razumovarguedwithhimself。
  Onceengagedonthislineofthoughttherecouldbenoquestionofdoingusefulwork。Thesameideaswentonpassingthroughhismind,andhepronouncedmentallythesamewordsoverandoveragain。Heshutupallthebooksandrammedallhispapersintohispocketwithconvulsivemovements,raginginwardlyagainstHaldin。
  Ashewasleavingthelibraryalongbonystudentinathreadbareovercoatjoinedhim,steppingmoodilybyhisside。Razumovansweredhismumbledgreetingwithoutlookingathimatall。
  "Whatdoeshewantwithme?"hethoughtwithastrangedreadoftheunexpectedwhichhetriedtoshakeofflestitshouldfastenitselfuponhislifeforgoodandall。Andtheother,mutteringcautiouslywithdowncasteyes,supposedthathiscomradehadseenthenewsofdeP———’sexecutioner——thatwastheexpressionheused——havingbeenarrestedthenightbeforelast……
  "I’vebeenill——shutupinmyrooms,"Razumovmumbledthroughhisteeth。
  Thetallstudent,raisinghisshoulders,shovedhishandsdeepintohispockets。Hehadahairless,square,tallowychinwhichtrembledslightlyashespoke,andhisnosenippedbrightredbythesharpairlookedlikeafalsenoseofpaintedcardboardbetweenthesallowcheeks。Hiswholeappearancewasstampedwiththemarkofcoldandhunger。HestalkeddeliberatelyatRazumov’selbowwithhiseyesontheground。
  "It’sanofficialstatement,"hecontinuedinthesamecautiousmutter。"Itmaybealie。ButtherewassomebodyarrestedbetweenmidnightandoneinthemorningonTuesday。
  Thisiscertain。"
  Andtalkingrapidlyunderthecoverofhisdowncastair,hetoldRazumovthatthiswasknownthroughaninferiorGovernmentclerkemployedattheCentralSecretariat。Thatmanbelongedtooneoftherevolutionarycircles。"Thesame,infact,Iamaffiliatedto,"remarkedthestudent。
  Theywerecrossingawidequadrangle。AninfinitedistresspossessedRazumov,annihilatedhisenergy,andbeforehiseyeseverythingappearedconfusedandasifevanescent。Hedarednotleavethefellowthere。"Hemaybeaffiliatedtothepolice,"
  wasthethoughtthatpassedthroughhismind。"Whocouldtell?"
  Buteyeingthemiserablefrost—nipped,famine—struckfigureofhiscompanionheperceivedtheabsurdityofhissuspicion。
  "ButI——youknow——Idon’tbelongtoanycircle。I……"
  Hedarednotsayanymore。Neitherdaredhemendhispace。Theother,raisingandsettingdownhislamentablyshodfeetwithexactdeliberation,protestedinalowtonethatitwasnotnecessaryforeverybodytobelongtoanorganization。Themostvaluablepersonalitiesremainedoutside。Someofthebestworkwasdoneoutsidetheorganization。Thenveryfast,withwhispering,feverishlips——
  "ThemanarrestedinthestreetwasHaldin。"
  AndacceptingRazumov’sdismayedsilenceasnaturalenough,heassuredhimthattherewasnomistake。ThatGovernmentclerkwasonnightdutyattheSecretariat。Hearingagreatnoiseoffootstepsinthehallandawarethatpoliticalprisonerswerebroughtoversometimesatnightfromthefortress,heopenedthedooroftheroominwhichhewasworking,suddenly。Beforethegendarmeondutycouldpushhimbackandslamthedoorinhisface,hehadseenaprisonerbeingpartlycarried,partlydraggedalongthehallbyalotofpolicemen。Hewasbeingusedverybrutally。AndtheclerkhadrecognizedHaldinperfectly。LessthanhalfanhourafterwardsGeneralT——arrivedattheSecretariattoexaminethatprisonerpersonally。
  "Aren’tyouastonished?"concludedthegauntstudent。
  "No,"saidRazumovroughly——andatonceregrettedhisanswer。
  "EverybodysupposedHaldinwasintheprovinces——withhispeople。Didn’tyou?"
  ThestudentturnedhisbigholloweyesuponRazumov,whosaidunguardedly——
  "Hispeopleareabroad。"
  Hecouldhavebittenhistongueoutwithvexation。
  Thestudentpronouncedinatoneofprofoundmeaning——
  "So!Youalonewereaware……"andstopped。
  "Theyhaveswornmyruin,"thoughtRazumov。"HaveYouspokenofthistoanyoneelse?"heaskedwithbittercuriosity。
  Theothershookhishead。
  "No,onlytoyou。OurcirclethoughtthatasHaldinhadbeenoftenheardexpressingawarmappreciationofyourcharacter……"
  Razumovcouldnotrestrainagestureofangrydespairwhichtheothermusthavemisunderstoodinsomeway,becauseheceasedspeakingandturnedawayhisblack,lack—lustreeyes。
  Theymovedsidebysideinsilence。Thenthegauntstudentbegantowhisperagain,withavertedgaze——
  "Aswehaveatpresentnooneaffiliatedinsidethefortresssoastomakeitpossibletofurnishhimwithapacketofpoison,wehaveconsideredalreadysomesortofretaliatoryaction——tofollowverysoon……"
  Razumovtrudgingoninterrupted——
  "WereyouacquaintedwithHaldin?Didheknowwhereyoulive?"
  "Ihadthehappinesstohearhimspeaktwice,"hiscompanionansweredinthefeverishwhispercontrastingwiththegloomyapathyofhisfaceandbearing。"HedidnotknowwhereIlive……Iamlodgingpoorlywithanartisanfamily……
  Ihavejustacornerinaroom。Itisnotverypracticabletoseemethere,butifyoushouldneedmeforanythingIamready……
  Razumovtrembledwithrageandfear。Hewasbesidehimself,butkepthisvoicelow。
  "Youarenottocomenearme。Youarenottospeaktome。Neveraddressasinglewordtome。Iforbidyou。"
  "Verywell,"saidtheothersubmissively,showingnosurprisewhateveratthisabruptprohibition。"Youdon’twishforsecretreasons……perfectly……Iunderstand。"
  Heedgedawayatonce,notlookingupeven;andRazumovsawhisgaunt,shabby,famine—strickenfigurecrossthestreetobliquelywithloweredheadandthatpeculiarexactmotionofthefeet。
  Hewatchedhimasonewouldwatchavisionoutofanightmare,thenhecontinuedonhisway,tryingnottothink。Onhislandingthelandladyseemedtobewaitingforhim。Shewasashort,thick,shapelesswomanwithalargeyellowfacewrappedupeverlastinglyinablackwoollenshawl。Whenshesawhimcomeupthelastflightofstairssheflungbothherarmsupexcitedly,thenclaspedherhandsbeforeherface。
  "KiryloSidorovitch——littlefather——whathaveyoubeendoing?
  Andsuchaquietyoungman,too!Thepolicearejustgonethismomentaftersearchingyourrooms。"
  Razumovgazeddownatherwithsilent,scrutinizingattention。
  Herpuffyyellowcountenancewasworkingwithemotion。Shescreweduphereyesathimentreatingly。
  "Suchasensibleyoungman!Anybodycanseeyouaresensible。
  Andnow——likethis——allatonce……WhatisthegoodofmixingyourselfupwiththeseNihilists?Dogiveover,littlefather。
  Theyareunluckypeople。"
  Razumovmovedhisshouldersslightly。
  "Orisitthatsomesecretenemyhasbeencalumniatingyou,KiryloSidorovitch?Theworldisfullofblackheartsandfalsedenunciationsnowadays。Thereismuchfearabout。"
  "HaveyouheardthatIhavebeendenouncedbysomeone?"
  askedRazumov,withouttakinghiseyesoffherquiveringface。
  Butshehadnotheardanything。Shehadtriedtofindoutbyaskingthepolicecaptainwhilehismenwereturningtheroomupsidedown。Thepolicecaptainofthedistricthadknownherforthelastelevenyearsandwasahumaneperson。Buthesaidtoheronthelanding,lookingveryblackandvexed——
  "Mygoodwoman,donotaskquestions。Idon’tknowanythingmyself。Theordercomesfromhigherquarters。"
  Andindeedtherehadappeared,shortlyafterthearrivalofthepolicemenofthedistrict,averysuperiorgentlemaninafurcoatandashinyhat,whosatdownintheroomandlookedthroughallthepapershimself。Hecamealoneandwentawaybyhimself,takingnothingwithhim。Shehadbeentryingtoputthingsstraightalittlesincetheyleft。
  Razumovturnedawaybrusquelyandenteredhisrooms。
  Allhisbookshadbeenshakenandthrownonthefloor。Hislandladyfollowedhim,andstoopingpainfullybegantopickthemupintoherapron。Hispapersandnoteswhichwerekeptalwaysneatlysorted(theyallrelatedtohisstudies)hadbeenshuffledupandheapedtogetherintoaraggedpileinthemiddleofthetable。
  ThisdisorderaffectecIhimprofoundly,unreasonably。Hesatdownandstared。Hehadadistinctsensationofhisveryexistencebeingunderminedinsomemysteriousmanner,ofhismoralsupportsfallingawayfromhimonebyone。Heevenexperiencedaslightphysicalgiddinessandmadeamovementasiftoreachforsomethingtosteadyhimselfwith。
  Theoldwoman,risingtoherfeetwithalowgroan,shotallthebooksshehadcollectedinherapronontothesofaandlefttheroommutteringandsighing。
  Itwasonlythenthathenoticedthatthesheetofpaperwhichforonenighthadremainedstabbedtothewallabovehisemptybedwaslyingontopofthepile。
  Whenhehadtakenitdownthedaybeforehehadfoldeditinfour,absent—mindedly,beforedroppingitonthetable。Andnowhesawitlyinguppermost,spreadout,smoothedoutevenandcoveringalltheconfusedpileofpages,therecordofhisintellectuallifeforthelastthreeyears。Ithadnotbeenflungthere。Ithadbeenplacedthere——smoothedout,too!Heguessedinthatanintentionofprofoundmeaning——orperhapssomeinexplicablemockery。
  Hesatstaringatthepieceofpapertillhiseyesbegantosmart。Hedidnotattempttoputhispapersinorder,eitherthateveningorthenextday——whichhespentathomeinastateofpeculiarirresolution。ThisirresoIutionboreuponthequestionwhetherheshouldcontinuetolive——neithermorenorless。Butitsnaturewasveryfarremovedfromthehesitationofamancontemplatingsuicide。TheideaoflayingviolenthandsuponhisbodydidnotoccurtoRazumov。Theunrelatedorganismbearingthatlabel,walking,breathing,wearingtheseclothes,wasofnoimportancetoanyone,unlessmaybetothelandlady。
  ThetrueRazumovhadhisbeinginthewilled,inthedeterminedfuture——inthatfuturemenacedbythelawlessnessofautocracy——forautocracyknowsnolaw——andthelawlessnessofrevolution。Thefeelingthathismoralpersonalitywasatthemercyoftheselawlessforceswassostrongthatheaskedhimselfseriouslyifitwereworthwhiletogoonaccomplishingthementalfunctionsofthatexistencewhichseemednolongerhisown。
  "Whatisthegoodofexertingmyintelligence,ofpursuingthesystematicdevelopmentofmyfacultiesandallmyplansofwork?"
  heaskedhimself。"Iwanttoguidemyconductbyreasonableconvictions,butwhatsecurityhaveIagainstsomething——somedestructivehorror——
  walkinginuponmeasIsithere?……
  Razumovlookedapprehensivelytowardsthedooroftheouterroomasifexpectingsomeshapeofeviltoturnthehandleandappearbeforehimsilently。
  "Acommonthief,"hesaidtohimself,"findsmoreguaranteesinthelawheisbreaking,andevenabrutelikeZiemianitchhashisconsolation。"Razumovenviedthematerialismofthethiefandthepassionoftheincorrigiblelover。Theconsequencesoftheiractionswerealwaysclearandtheirlivesremainedtheirown。
  ButhesleptassoundlythatnightasthoughhehadbeenconsolinghimselfinthemannerofZiemianitch。Hedroppedoffsuddenly,laylikealog,rememberednodreamonwaking。Butitwasasifhissoulhadgoneoutinthenighttogathertheflowersofwrathfulwisdom。Hegotupinamoodofgrimdeterminationandasifwithanewknowledgeofhisownnature。
  Helookedmockinglyontheheapofpapersonhistable;andlefthisroomtoattendthelectures,mutteringtohimself,"Weshallsee。"
  Hewasinnohumourtotalktoanybodyorhearhimselfquestionedastohisabsencefromlecturesthedaybefore。Butitwasdifficulttorepulserudelyaverygoodcomradewithasmoothpinkfaceandfairhair,bearingthenicknameamongsthisfellow—studentsof"MadcapKostia。"HewastheidolizedonlysonofaverywealthyandilliterateGovernmentcontractor,andattendedthelecturesonlyduringtheperiodicalfitsofcontritionfollowingupontearfulpaternalremonstrances。
  Noisilyblunderinglikearetrieverpuppy,hiselatedvoiceandgreatgesturesfilledthebareacademycorridorswiththejoyofthoughtlessanimallife,provokingindulgentsmilesatagreatdistance。Hisusualdiscoursestreatedoftrottinghorses,wine—partiesinexpensiverestaurants,andthemeritsofpersonsofeasyvirtue,withadisarmingartlessnessofoutlook。HepounceduponRazumovaboutmidday,somewhatlessuproariouslythanhishabitwas,andledhimaside。
  "Justamoment,KiryloSidorovitch。Afewwordshereinthisquietcorner。"
  HefeltRazumov’sreluctance,andinsinuatedhishandunderhisarmcaressingly。
  "No——praydo。Idon’twanttotalktoyouaboutanyofmysillyscrapes。Whataremyscrapes?Absolutelynothing。Merechildishness。TheothernightIflungafellowoutofacertainplacewhereIwashavingafairlygoodtime。Atyrannicallittlebeastofaquill—driverfromtheTreasurydepartment。Hewasbullyingthepeopleofthehouse。Irebukedhim。’YouarenotbehavinghumanelytoGod’screaturesthatareajollysightmoreestimablethanyourself,’Isaid。Ican’tbeartoseeanytyranny,KiryloSidorovitch。UponmywordIcan’t。Hedidn’ttakeitingoodpartatall。’Who’sthatimpudentpuppy?’
  hebeginstoshout。Iwasinexcellentformasithappened,andhewentthroughtheclosedwindowverysuddenly。Heflewquitealongwayintotheyard。Iragedlike——likea——minotaur。
  Thewomenclungtomeandscreamed,thefiddlersgotunderthetable……Suchfun!Mydadhadtoputhishandprettydeepintohispocket,Icantellyou。"Hechuckled。
  "Mydadisaveryusefulman。Jollygoodthingitisforme,too。
  Idogetintounholyscrapes。"
  Hiselationfell。Thatwasjustit。Whatwashislife?
  Insignificant;nogoodtoanyone;amerefestivity。Itwouldendsomefinedayinhisgettinghisskullsplitwithachampagnebottleinadrunkenbrawl。Atsuchtimes,too,whenmenweresacrificingthemselvestoideas。Buthecouldnevergetanyideasintohishead。Hisheadwasn’tworthanythingbetterthantobesplitbyachampagnebottle。
  Razumov,protestingthathehadnotime,madeanattempttogetaway。Theother’stonechangedtoconfidentialearnestness。
  "ForGod’ssake,Kirylo,mydearsoul,letmemakesomesortofsacrifice。Itwouldnotbeasacrificereally。Ihavemyrichdadbehindme。There’spositivelynogettingtothebottomofhispocket。"
  AndrejectingindignantlyRazumov’ssuggestionthatthiswasdrunkenraving,heofferedtolendhimsomemoneytoescapeabroadwith。Hecouldalwaysgetmoneyfromhisdad。Hehadonlytosaythathehadlostitatcardsorsomethingofthatsort,andatthesametimepromisesolemnlynottomissasinglelectureforthreemonthsonend。Thatwouldfetchtheoldman;
  andhe,Kostia,wasquiteequaltothesacrifice。Thoughhereallydidnotseewhatwasthegoodforhimtoattendthelectures。Itwasperfectlyhopeless。
  "Won’tyouletmebeofsomeuse?"hepleadedtothesilentRazumov,whowithhiseyesonthegroundandutterlyunabletopenetratetherealdriftoftheother’sintention,feltastrangereluctancetoclearupthepoint。
  "WhatmakesyouthinkIwanttogoabroad?"heaskedatlastveryquietly。
  Kostialoweredhisvoice。
  "Youhadthepoliceinyourroomsyesterday。Therearethreeorfourofuswhohaveheardofthat。Nevermindhowweknow。Itissufficientthatwedo。Sowehavebeenconsultingtogether。"
  "Ah!Yougottoknowthatsosoon,"mutteredRazumovnegligently。
  "Yes。Wedid。Anditstruckusthatamanlikeyou……"
  "Whatsortofamandoyoutakemetobe?"Razumovinterruptedhim。
  "Amanofideas——andamanofactiontoo。Butyouareverydeep,Kirylo。There’snogettingtothebottomofyourmind。Notforfellowslikeme。Butweallagreedthatyoumustbepreservedforourcountry。Ofthatwehavenodoubtwhatever——ImeanallofuswhohaveheardHaldinspeakofyouoncertainoccasions。
  Amandoesn’tgetthepoliceransackinghisroomswithouttherebeingsomedevilryhangingoverhishead……Andsoifyouthinkthatitwouldbebetterforyoutoboltatonce……"
  Razumovtorehimselfawayandwalkeddownthecorridor,leavingtheothermotionlesswithhismouthopen。ButalmostatoncehereturnedandstoodbeforetheamazedKostia,whoshuthismouthslowly。Razumovlookedhimstraightintheeyes,beforesayingwithmarkeddeliberationandseparatinghiswords——
  "Ithank——you——very——much。"
  Hewentawayagainrapidly。Kostia,recoveringfromhissurpriseatthesemanoeuvres,ranupbehindhimpressingly。
  "No!Wait!Listen。Ireallymeanit。Itwouldbelikegivingyourcompassiontoastarvingfellow。Doyouhear,Kirylo?Andanydisguiseyoumaythinkof,thattooIcouldprocurefromacostumier,aJewIknow。Letafoolbemadeserviceableaccordingtohisfolly。Perhapsalsoafalsebeardorsomethingofthatkindmaybeneeded。
  Razumovturnedatbay。
  "Therearenofalsebeardsneededinthisbusiness,Kostia——yougood—heartedlunatic,you。Whatdoyouknowofmyideas?Myideasmaybepoisontoyou。"Theotherbegantoshakehisheadinenergeticprotest。
  "Whathaveyougottodowithideas?Someofthemwouldmakeanendofyourdad’smoney—bags。Leaveoffmeddlingwithwhatyoudon’tunderstand。Gobacktoyourtrottinghorsesandyourgirls,andthenyou’llbesureatleastofdoingnoharmtoanybody,andhardlyanytoyourself。"
  Theenthusiasticyouthwasovercomebythisdisdain。
  "You’resendingmebacktomypig’strough,Kirylo。Thatsettlesit。Iamanunluckybeast——andIshalldielikeabeasttoo。
  Butmind——it’syourcontemptthathasdoneforme。"
  Razumovwentoffwithlongstrides。Thatthissimpleandgrosslyfestivesoulshouldhavefallentooundertherevolutionarycurseaffectedhimasanominoussymptomofthetime。Hereproachedhimselfforfeelingtroubled。Personallyheoughttohavefeltreassured。Therewasanobviousadvantageinthisconspiracyofmistakenjudgmenttakinghimforwhathewasnot。Butwasitnotstrange?
  AgainheexperiencedthatsensationofhisconductbeingtakenoutofhishandsbyHaldin’srevolutionarytyranny。Hissolitaryandlaboriousexistencehadbeendestroyed——theonlythinghecouldcallhisownonthisearth。Bywhatright?heaskedhimselffuriously。Inwhatname?
  Whatinfuriatedhimmostwastofeelthatthe"thinkers"oftheUniversitywereevidentlyconnectinghimwithHaldin——asasortofconfidantinthebackgroundapparently。Amysteriousconnexion!
  Haha!……Hehadbeenmadeapersonagewithoutknowinganythingaboutit。HowthatwretchHaldinmusthavetalkedabouthim!
  YetitwaslikelythatHaldinhadsaidverylittle。Thefellow’scasualutteranceswerecaughtupandtreasuredandponderedoverbyalltheseimbeciles。Andwasnotallsecretrevolutionaryactionbaseduponfolly,self—deception,andlies?
  "Impossibletothinkofanythingelse,"mutteredRazumovtohimself。"I’llbecomeanidiotifthisgoeson。Thescoundrelsandthefoolsaremurderingmyintelligence。"
  Helostallhopeofsavinghisfuture,whichdependedonthefreeuseofhisintelligence。
  Hereachedthedoorwayofhishouseinastateofmentaldiscouragementwhichenabledhimtoreceivewithapparentindifferenceanofficial—lookingenvelopefromthedirtyhandofthedvornik。
  "Agendarmebroughtit,"saidtheman。"Heaskedifyouwereathome。Itoldhim’No,he’snotathome。’Soheleftit。
  ’Giveitintohisownhands,’sayshe。Nowyou’vegotit——eh?"
  Hewentbacktohissweeping,andRazumovclimbedhisstairs,envelopeinhand。Onceinhisroomhedidnothastentoopenit。
  Ofcoursethisofficialmissivewasfromthesuperiordirectionofthepolice。Asuspect!Asuspect!
  Hestaredindrearyastonishmentattheabsurdityofhisposition。Hethoughtwithasortofdry,unemotionalmelancholy;
  threeyearsofgoodworkgone,thecourseoffortymoreperhapsjeopardized——turnedfromhopetoterror,becauseeventsstartedbyhumanfollylinkthemselvesintoasequencewhichnosagacitycanforeseeandnocouragecanbreakthrough。Fatalityentersyourroomswhileyourlandlady’sbackisturned;youcomehomeandfinditinpossessionbearingaman’sname,clothedinflesh——wearingabrownclothcoatandlongboots——loungingagainstthestove。Itasksyou,"Istheouterdoorclosed?"——andyoudon’tknowenoughtotakeitbythethroatandflingitdownstairs。Youdon’tknow。Youwelcomethecrazyfate。"Sitdown,"yousay。Anditisallover。Youcannotshakeitoffanymore。Itwillclingtoyouforever。Neitherhalternorbulletcangiveyoubackthefreedomofyourlifeandthesanityofyourthought……Itwasenoughtodashone’sheadagainstawall。
  Razumovlookedslowlyallroundthewallsasiftoselectaspottodashhisheadagainst。Thenheopenedtheletter。ItdirectedthestudentKiryloSidorovitchRazumovtopresenthimselfwithoutdelayattheGeneralSecretariat。
  RazumovhadavisionofGeneralT———’sgoggleeyeswaitingforhim——theembodiedpowerofautocracy,grotesqueandterrible。Heembodiedthewholepowerofautocracybecausehewasitsguardian。Hewastheincarnatesuspicion,theincarnateanger,theincarnateruthlessnessofapoliticalandsocialregimeonitsdefence。Heloathedrebellionbyinstinct。AndRazumovreflectedthatthemanwassimplyunabletounderstandareasonableadherencetothedoctrineofabsolutism。
  "Whatcanhewantwithmeprecisely——Iwonder?"heaskedhimself。
  Asifthatmentalquestionhadevokedthefamiliarphantom,Haldinstoodsuddenlybeforehimintheroomwithanextraordinarycompletenessofdetail。Thoughtheshortwinterdayhadpassedalreadyintothesinistertwilightofalandburiedinsnow,RazumovsawplainlythenarrowleatherstraproundtheTcherkesscoat。Theillusionofthathatefulpresencewassoperfectthathehalfexpectedittoask,"Istheouterdoorclosed?"Helookedatitwithhatredandcontempt。Soulsdonottakeashapeofclothing。Moreover,Haldincouldnotbedeadyet。Razumovsteppedforwardmenacingly;thevisionvanished——andturningshortonhisheelhewalkedoutofhisroomwithinfinitedisdain。
  ButaftergoingdownthefirstflightofstairsitoccurredtohimthatperhapsthesuperiorauthoritiesofpolicemeanttoconfronthimwithHaldinintheflesh。Thisthoughtstruckhimlikeabullet,andhadhenotclungwithbothhandstothebanisterhewouldhaverolleddowntothenextlandingmostlikely。Hislegswereofnouseforaconsiderabletime……
  Butwhy?Forwhatconceivablereason?Towhatend?
  Therecouldbenorationalanswertothesequestions;butRazumovrememberedthepromisemadebytheGeneraltoPrinceK———。Hisactionwastoremainunknown。
  Hegotdowntothebottomofthestairs,loweringhimselfasitwerefromsteptostep,bythebanister。Underthegateheregainedmuchofhisfirmnessofthoughtandlimb。Hewentoutintothestreetwithoutstaggeringvisibly。Everymomenthefeltsteadiermentally。AndyethewassayingtohimselfthatGeneralT———wasperfectlycapableofshuttinghimupinthefortressforanindefinitetime。Histemperamentfittedhisremorselesstask,andhisomnipotencemadehiminaccessibletoreasonableargument。
  ButwhenRazumovarrivedattheSecretariathediscoveredthathewouldhavenothingtodowithGeneralT———。ItisevidentfromMr。Razumov’sdiarythatthisdreadedpersonalitywastoremaininthebackground。Acivilianofsuperiorrankreceivedhiminaprivateroomafteraperiodofwaitinginouterofficeswherealotofscribblingwentonatmanytablesinaheatedandstuffyatmosphere。
  Theclerkinuniformwhoconductedhimsaidinthecorridor——
  "YouaregoingbeforeGregorMatvieitchMikulin。"
  Therewasnothingformidableaboutthemanbearingthatname。
  Hismild,expectantglancewasturnedonthedooralreadywhenRazumoventered。Atonce,withthepenholderhewasholdinginhishand,hepointedtoadeepsofabetweentwowindows。HefollowedRazumovwithhiseyeswhilethatlastcrossedtheroomandsatdown。Themildgazerestedonhim,notcurious,notinquisitive——certainlynotsuspicious——almostwithoutexpression。
  Initspassionlesspersistencetherewassomethingresemblingsympathy。
  Razumov,whohadpreparedhiswillandhisintelligencetoencounterGeneralT———himself,wasprofoundlytroubled。Allthemoralbracingupagainstthepossibleexcessesofpowerandpassionwentfornothingbeforethissallowman,whoworeafullunclippedbeard。Itwasfair,thin,andveryfine。Thelightfellincopperygleamsontheprotuberancesofahigh,ruggedforehead。Andtheaspectofthebroad,softphysiognomywassohomelyandrusticthatthecarefulmiddlepartingofthehairseemedapretentiousaffectation。
  ThediaryofMr。Razumovtestifiestosomeirritationonhispart。ImayremarkherethatthediaryproperconsistingofthemoreorlessdailyentriesseemstohavebeenbegunonthatveryeveningafterMr。Razumovhadreturnedhome。
  Mr。Razumov,then,wasirritated。Hisstrung—upindividualityhadgonetopieceswithinhimverysuddenly。
  "Imustbeveryprudentwithhim,"hewarnedhimselfinthesilenceduringwhichtheysatgazingateachother。Itlastedsomelittletime,andwascharacterized(forsilenceshavetheircharacter)byasortofsadnessimpartedtoitperhapsbythemildandthoughtfulmannerofthebeardedofficial。RazumovlearnedlaterthathewasthechiefofadepartmentintheGeneralSecretariat,witharankinthecivilserviceequivalenttothatofacolonelinthearmy。
  Razumov’smistrustbecameacute。Themainpointwas,nottobedrawnintosayingtoomuch。Hehadbeencalledthereforsomereason。Whatreason?Tobegiventounderstandthathewasasuspect——andalsonodoubttobepumped。Astowhatprecisely?
  Therewasnothing。OrperhapsHaldinhadbeentellinglies……
  EveryalarminguncertaintybesetRazumov。Hecouldbearthesilencenolonger,andcursinghimselfforhisweaknessspokefirst,thoughhehadpromisedhimselfnottodosoonanyaccount。
  "Ihaven’tlostamoment’stime,"hebeganinahoarse,provokingtone;andthenthefacultyofspeechseemedtoleavehimandenterthebodyofCouncillorMikulin,whochimedinapprovingly——
  "Veryproper。Veryproper。Thoughasamatteroffact……
  Butthespellwasbroken,andRazumovinterruptedhimboldly,underasuddenconvictionthatthiswasthesafestattitudetotake。Withagreatflowofwordshecomplainedofbeingtotallymisunderstood。Evenashetalkedwithaperceptionofhisownaudacityhethoughtthattheword"misunderstood"wasbetterthantheword"mistrusted,"andherepeateditagainwithinsistence。
  Suddenlyheceased,beingseizedwithfrightbeforetheattentiveimmobilityoftheofficial。"WhatamItalkingabout?"hethought,eyeinghimwithavaguegaze。Mistrusted——notmisunderstood——wastherightsymbolforthesepeople。
  Misunderstoodwastheotherkindofcurse。BothhadbeenbroughtonhisheadbythatfellowHaldin。Andhisheadachedterribly。
  Hepassedhishandoverhisbrow——aninvoluntarygestureofsuffering,whichhewastoocarelesstorestrain。