INTRODUCTION
Totheirreverent——andwhichofuswillclaimentireexemptionfromthatcomfortableclassification？——thereissomethingveryamusingintheattitudeoftheorthodoxcriticismtowardBernardShaw。Hesoobviouslydisregardsallthecanonsandunitiesandotherthingswhicheverywell-breddramatistisboundtorespectthathisworkisreallyunworthyofseriouscriticism（orthodox）。Indeedheknowsnomoreaboutthedramaticartthan，accordingtohisownstoryin"TheManofDestiny，"
NapoleonatTavazzanoknewoftheArtofWar。Butbothmenweresuccesseseachinhisway——thelatterwonvictoriesandtheformergainedaudiences，intheveryteethoftheacceptedtheoriesofwarandthetheatre。Shawdoesnotknowthatitisunpardonablesintohavehischaractersmakelongspeechesatoneanother，apparentlythinkingthatthisembargoappliesonlytolongspeecheswhichconsistmainlyofbombastandrhetoric。Thereneverwasanauthorwhoshowedlesspredilectionforaspecificmediumbywhichtoaccomplishhisresults。
Herecognized，earlyinhisdays，manythingsawryintheworldandheassumedthetaskofmundanereformationwithaconfidentspirit。Itseemssuchasmalljobattwentytosetthetimesaright。HebeganasanEssayist，butwhoreadsessaysnow-a-days？——hethenturnednovelistwithnobettersuccess，fornoonewouldreadsuchpreposterousstuffashechosetoemit。Heonlysucceededinprovingthatabsolutelyrationalmenandwomen——althoughhehascreatedfewofthelatter——canbemostextremelydisagreeabletoourconventionalwayofthinking。
Asalastresort，heturnedtothestage，notthathecaredforthedramaticart，fornomanseemstocarelessabout"ArtforArt’ssake，"
beinginthisaperfectfoiltohisbrilliantcompatriotandcontemporary，Wilde。Hecasthistheoriesindramaticformsmerelybecausenoothercourseexceptsilenceorphysicalrevoltwasopentohim。Foralongtimeitseemedasifthisresourcetoowasdoomedtofailhim。Butfinallyhehasattainedahearingandnowattemptsatsuppressionmerelyservetoadvertisetheirvictim。
ItwillrepaythosewhoseekanalogiesinliteraturetocompareShawwithCervantes。Afteralifeofheroicendeavor，disappointment，slavery，andpoverty，theauthorof"DonQuixote"gavetheworldaseriousworkwhichcausedtobelaughedofftheworld’sstageforeverthefinalvestigesofdecadentchivalry。
Theinstitutionhadlongbeenoutgrown，butitsvernacularcontinuedtobethespeechandtoexpressthethought"oftheworldandamongthevulgar，"asthequaint，oldnovelistputsit，justasto-daythenovelintendedfortheconsumptionoftheunenlightenedmustdealwithpeersandmillionairesandbedressedinstiltedlanguage。Marvellouslyhesucceeded，butinawayheleastintended。Wehavenotyet，aftersomanyyears，determinedwhetheritisaworktolaughorcryover。"Itisourjoyfullestmodernbook，"saysCarlyle，whileLandorthinksthat"readerswhoseenothingmorethanaburlesquein’DonQuixote’havebutshallowappreciationofthework。"
Shawinlikemannercomesuponthescenewhenmanyofoursocialusagesareoutworn。Heseesthefact，announcesit，andweburstintoguffaws。
ThecontinuouslaughterwhichgreetsShaw’splaysarisesfromarealcontrastinthepointofviewofthedramatistandhisaudiences。WhenPineroorJonesdescribesawhimsicalsituationweneverdoubtforamomentthattheauthor’spointofviewisourownandthattheabnormalpredicamentofhischaractersappealstohiminthesamelightastohisaudience。WithShawthissenseofcommunityoffeelingiswhollylacking。Hedescribesthingsasheseesthem，andthehouseisinaroar。Whoisright？Ifwewerereallyusingourownsensesandnotgazingthroughtheglassesofconventionandromanceandmake-believe，shouldweseethingsasShawdoes？
MustitnotcauseShawtodoubthisownorthepublic’ssanitytohearaudienceslaughingboisterouslyovertragicsituations？Andyet，iftheydidnotcometolaugh，theywouldnotcomeatall。Mockeryisthepricehemustpayforahearing。Orhashecalculatedtoanicetythepowerofreaction？Doesheseektodriveustoaspirationbytheportrayalofsordidness，todisinterestednessbythepictureofselfishness，toillusionbydisillusionment？Itisimpossibletobelievethatheisunconsciousofthehumorofhisdramaticsituations，yethestoicallygivesnosign。Heevendaresthecharge，terribleinproportiontoitstruth，whichthemostseriousofusshrinksfrom——thelackofasenseofhumor。Menwouldratherhavetheirintegrityimpugned。
In"ArmsandtheMan"thesubjectwhichoccupiesthedramatist’sattentionisthatsurvivalofbarbarity——militarism——whichraisesitshorridheadfromtimetotimetocastadoubtontherealityofourcivilization。Nomorehoarysuperstitionsurvivesthanthatthedonningofauniformchangesthenatureofthewearer。Thisnotionpervadessocietytosuchanextentthatwhenwefindsomesoldiersplaceduponthestageactingrationally，ourconventionalizedsensesareshocked。
Theonlymenwhohavenoillusionsaboutwararethosewhohaverecentlybeenthere，and，ofcourse，Mr。Shaw，whohasnoillusionsaboutanything。
Itishardtospeaktoohighlyof"Candida。"NoequallysubtleandincisivestudyofdomesticrelationsexistsintheEnglishdrama。OnehastoturntoGeorgeMeredith’s"TheEgoist"tofindsuchcharacterdissection。Thecentralnoteoftheplayis，thatwiththetruewoman，weaknesswhichappealstothematernalinstinctismorepowerfulthanstrengthwhichoffersprotection。Candidaisquiteunpoetic，as，indeed，withrareexceptions，womenarepronetobe。Theyhavesmalldelightinpoetry，butarethestuffofwhichpoemsanddreamsaremade。Thehusbandgloryinginhisstrengthbutconvictedofhisweakness，thepoetpitifulinhisphysicalimpotencebutstronginhisperceptionoftruth，thehopelesslyde-moralizedmanufacturer，theconventionalandhenceemotionaltypistmakeupagroupwhichthedramaofanylanguagemaybechallengedtorival。
In"TheManofDestiny"theobjectofthedramatistisnotsomuchthedestructionastheexplanationoftheNapoleonictradition，whichhassopowerfullyinfluencedgenerationaftergenerationforacentury。Howeverthemanmayberegarded，hewasamiracle。Shawshowsthatheachievedhisextraordinarycareerbysuspending，forhimself，thepressureofthemoralandconventionalatmosphere，whileleavingitoperativeforothers。Thosewhostudythisplay——extravaganza，thatitis——willattainaclearercomprehensionofNapoleonthantheycangetfromallthebiographies。
"YouNeverCanTell"offersanamusingstudyoftheplayofsocialconventions。The"twins"illustratethedisconcertingeffectsofthatperfectfranknesswhichwouldmakelifeintolerable。Gloriademonstratesthepowerlessnessofreasontoovercomenaturalinstincts。Theideathatparentaldutiesandfunctionscanbefulfilledbythelightofsuchknowledgeasmanandwomanattainbyintuitionisbrilliantlylampooned。
Crampton，thefather，typifiesthecommonsuperstitionthatamongtheprivilegesofparenthoodareinflexibility，tyranny，andrespect，thelastentirelyregardlessofwhetherithasbeendeserved。
Thewaiter，William，isthebestillustrationoftheman"whoknowshisplace"thatthestagehasseen。Heisthemostpatheticfigureoftheplay。Onetouchofverisimilitudeislacking;noneoftheguestsgiveshimatip，yethemaintainshisurbanity。AsMr。ShawhasnotyetvisitedAmericahemaybeunawareoftheimprobabilityofthissituation。
Tothosewhoregardliterarymenmerelyaspurveyorsofamusementforpeoplewhohavenotwitenoughtoentertainthemselves，IbsenandShaw，MaeterlinckandGorkymustremainenigmas。Itissomuchpleasantertoignorethantofaceunpleasantrealities——totakeRiversideDriveandnotMulberryStreetastheexponentofourlifeandtheexpressionofourcivilization。Thesemenarethesappersandminersoftheadvancingarmyofjustice。Theaudiencewhichdemandsthetruthanddespisesthecontemptibleconventionsthatdominatealikeourstageandourlifeisdailygrowing。Shawandmenlikehim——ifindeedheisnotabsolutelyunique——willnotforthefuturelackahearing。
M。
ARMSANDTHEMAN
ACTI
Night。Alady’sbedchamberinBulgaria，inasmalltownneartheDragomanPass。ItislateinNovemberintheyear1885，andthroughanopenwindowwithalittlebalconyontheleftcanbeseenapeakoftheBalkans，wonderfullywhiteandbeautifulinthestarlitsnow。TheinterioroftheroomisnotlikeanythingtobeseenintheeastofEurope。ItishalfrichBulgarian，halfcheapViennese。Thecounterpaneandhangingsofthebed，thewindowcurtains，thelittlecarpet，andalltheornamentaltextilefabricsintheroomareorientalandgorgeous：thepaperonthewallsisoccidentalandpaltry。Abovetheheadofthebed，whichstandsagainstalittlewallcuttingofftherighthandcorneroftheroomdiagonally，isapaintedwoodenshrine，blueandgold，withanivoryimageofChrist，andalighthangingbeforeitinapiercedmetalballsuspendedbythreechains。Ontheleft，furtherforward，isanottoman。Thewashstand，againstthewallontheleft，consistsofanenamelledironbasinwithapailbeneathitinapaintedmetalframe，andasingletowelontherailattheside。AchairnearitisAustrianbentwood，withcaneseat。Thedressingtable，betweenthebedandthewindow，isanordinarypinetable，coveredwithaclothofmanycolors，butwithanexpensivetoiletmirroronit。Thedoorisontheright;andthereisachestofdrawersbetweenthedoorandthebed。
Thischestofdrawersisalsocoveredbyavariegatednativecloth，andonitthereisapileofpaperbackednovels，aboxofchocolatecreams，andaminiatureeasel，onwhichisalargephotographofanextremelyhandsomeofficer，whoseloftybearingandmagneticglancecanbefeltevenfromtheportrait。Theroomislightedbyacandleonthechestofdrawers，andanotheronthedressingtable，withaboxofmatchesbesideit。
Thewindowishingeddoorwiseandstandswideopen，foldingbacktotheleft。Outsideapairofwoodenshutters，openingoutwards，alsostandopen。Onthebalcony，ayounglady，intenselyconsciousoftheromanticbeautyofthenight，andofthefactthatherownyouthandbeautyisapartofit，isonthebalcony，gazingatthesnowyBalkans。Sheiscoveredbyalongmantleoffurs，worth，onamoderateestimate，aboutthreetimesthefurnitureofherroom。
Herreverieisinterruptedbyhermother，CatherinePetkoff，awomanoverforty，imperiouslyenergetic，withmagnificentblackhairandeyes，whomightbeaverysplendidspecimenofthewifeofamountainfarmer，butisdeterminedtobeaVienneselady，andtothatendwearsafashionableteagownonalloccasions。
CATHERINE（enteringhastily，fullofgoodnews）。Raina——（shepronouncesitRah-eena，withthestressontheee）Raina——（shegoestothebed，expectingtofindRainathere。）Why，where——（Rainalooksintotheroom。）Heavens！child，areyououtinthenightairinsteadofinyourbed？You’llcatchyourdeath。Loukatoldmeyouwereasleep。
RAINA（comingin）。Isentheraway。Iwantedtobealone。Thestarsaresobeautiful！Whatisthematter？
CATHERINE。Suchnews。Therehasbeenabattle！
RAINA（hereyesdilating）。Ah！（Shethrowsthecloakontheottoman，andcomeseagerlytoCatherineinhernightgown，aprettygarment，butevidentlytheonlyoneshehason。）
CATHERINE。AgreatbattleatSlivnitza！Avictory！AnditwaswonbySergius。
RAINA（withacryofdelight）。Ah！（Rapturously。）Oh，mother！
（Then，withsuddenanxiety）Isfathersafe？
CATHERINE。Ofcourse：hesentmethenews。Sergiusistheheroofthehour，theidoloftheregiment。
RAINA。Tellme，tellme。Howwasit！（Ecstatically）Oh，mother，mother，mother！（Rainapullshermotherdownontheottoman;andtheykissoneanotherfrantically。）
CATHERINE（withsurgingenthusiasm）。Youcan’tguesshowsplendiditis。Acavalrycharge——thinkofthat！HedefiedourRussiancommanders——actedwithoutorders——ledachargeonhisownresponsibility——headedithimself——wasthefirstmantosweepthroughtheirguns。Can’tyouseeit，Raina;ourgallantsplendidBulgarianswiththeirswordsandeyesflashing，thunderingdownlikeanavalancheandscatteringthewretchedServiandandieslikechaff。Andyou——youkeptSergiuswaitingayearbeforeyouwouldbebetrothedtohim。Oh，ifyouhaveadropofBulgarianbloodinyourveins，youwillworshiphimwhenhecomesback。
RAINA。Whatwillhecareformypoorlittleworshipaftertheacclamationsofawholearmyofheroes？Butnomatter：Iamsohappy——soproud！（Sherisesandwalksaboutexcitedly。）Itprovesthatallourideaswererealafterall。
CATHERINE（indignantly）。Ourideasreal！Whatdoyoumean？
RAINA。OurideasofwhatSergiuswoulddo——ourpatriotism——ourheroicideals。Oh，whatfaithlesslittlecreaturesgirlsare！——I
sometimesusedtodoubtwhethertheywereanythingbutdreams。
WhenIbuckledonSergius’sswordhelookedsonoble：itwastreasontothinkofdisillusionorhumiliationorfailure。Andyet——andyet——（Quickly。）Promisemeyou’llnevertellhim。
CATHERINE。Don’taskmeforpromisesuntilIknowwhatIampromising。
RAINA。Well，itcameintomyheadjustashewasholdingmeinhisarmsandlookingintomyeyes，thatperhapsweonlyhadourheroicideasbecausewearesofondofreadingByronandPushkin，andbecauseweweresodelightedwiththeoperathatseasonatBucharest。Reallifeissoseldomlikethat——indeednever，asfarasIknewitthen。（Remorsefully。）Onlythink，mother，Idoubtedhim：Iwonderedwhetherallhisheroicqualitiesandhissoldiershipmightnotprovemereimaginationwhenhewentintoarealbattle。IhadanuneasyfearthathemightcutapoorfiguretherebesideallthosecleverRussianofficers。
CATHERINE。Apoorfigure！Shameonyou！TheServianshaveAustrianofficerswhoarejustascleverasourRussians;butwehavebeatenthemineverybattleforallthat。
RAINA（laughingandsittingdownagain）。Yes，Iwasonlyaprosaiclittlecoward。Oh，tothinkthatitwasalltrue——thatSergiusisjustassplendidandnobleashelooks——thattheworldisreallyagloriousworldforwomenwhocanseeitsgloryandmenwhocanactitsromance！Whathappiness！whatunspeakablefulfilment！Ah！（Shethrowsherselfonherkneesbesidehermotherandflingsherarmspassionatelyroundher。
TheyareinterruptedbytheentryofLouka，ahandsome，proudgirlinaprettyBulgarianpeasant’sdresswithdoubleapron，sodefiantthatherservilitytoRainaisalmostinsolent。SheisafraidofCatherine，butevenwithhergoesasfarasshedares。
Sheisjustnowexcitedliketheothers;butshehasnosympathyforRaina’srapturesandlookscontemptuouslyattheecstasiesofthetwobeforesheaddressesthem。）
LOUKA。Ifyouplease，madam，allthewindowsaretobeclosedandtheshuttersmadefast。Theysaytheremaybeshootinginthestreets。（RainaandCatherinerisetogether，alarmed。）TheServiansarebeingchasedrightbackthroughthepass;andtheysaytheymayrunintothetown。Ourcavalrywillbeafterthem;
andourpeoplewillbereadyforthemyoumaybesure，nowthattheyarerunningaway。（Shegoesoutonthebalconyandpullstheoutsideshuttersto;thenstepsbackintotheroom。）
RAINA。Iwishourpeoplewerenotsocruel。Whatgloryisthereinkillingwretchedfugitives？
CATHERINE（business-like，herhousekeepinginstinctsaroused）。
Imustseethateverythingismadesafedownstairs。
RAINA（toLouka）。LeavetheshutterssothatIcanjustclosethemifIhearanynoise。
CATHERINE（authoritatively，turningonherwaytothedoor）。
Oh，no，dear，youmustkeepthemfastened。Youwouldbesuretodropofftosleepandleavethemopen。Makethemfast，Louka。
LOUKA。Yes，madam。（Shefastensthem。）
RAINA。Don’tbeanxiousaboutme。ThemomentIhearashot，I
shallblowoutthecandlesandrollmyselfupinbedwithmyearswellcovered。
CATHERINE。Quitethewisestthingyoucando，mylove。
Good-night。
RAINA。Good-night。（Theykissoneanother，andRaina’semotioncomesbackforamoment。）Wishmejoyofthehappiestnightofmylife——ifonlytherearenofugitives。
CATHERINE。Gotobed，dear;anddon’tthinkofthem。（Shegoesout。）
LOUKA（secretly，toRaina）。Ifyouwouldliketheshuttersopen，justgivethemapushlikethis。（Shepushesthem：theyopen：shepullsthemtoagain。）Oneofthemoughttobeboltedatthebottom;butthebolt’sgone。
RAINA（withdignity，reprovingher）。Thanks，Louka;butwemustdowhatwearetold。（Loukamakesagrimace。）Good-night。
LOUKA（carelessly）。Good-night。（Shegoesout，swaggering。）
（Raina，leftalone，goestothechestofdrawers，andadorestheportraittherewithfeelingsthatarebeyondallexpression。Shedoesnotkissitorpressittoherbreast，orshewitanymarkofbodilyaffection;butshetakesitinherhandsandelevatesitlikeapriestess。）
RAINA（lookingupatthepicturewithworship。）Oh，Ishallneverbeunworthyofyouanymore，myhero——never，never，never。
（Shereplacesitreverently，andselectsanovelfromthelittlepileofbooks。Sheturnsovertheleavesdreamily;findsherpage;turnsthebookinsideoutatit;andthen，withahappysigh，getsintobedandpreparestoreadherselftosleep。Butbeforeabandoningherselftofiction，sheraiseshereyesoncemore，thinkingoftheblessedrealityandmurmurs）
Myhero！myhero！
（Adistantshotbreaksthequietofthenightoutside。Shestarts，listening;andtwomoreshots，muchnearer，follow，startlinghersothatshescramblesoutofbed，andhastilyblowsoutthecandleonthechestofdrawers。Then，puttingherfingersinherears，sherunstothedressing-tableandblowsoutthelightthere，andhurriesbacktobed。Theroomisnowindarkness：
nothingisvisiblebuttheglimmerofthelightinthepiercedballbeforetheimage，andthestarlightseenthroughtheslitsatthetopoftheshutters。Thefiringbreaksoutagain：thereisastartlingfusilladequitecloseathand。Whilstitisstillechoing，theshuttersdisappear，pulledopenfromwithout，andforaninstanttherectangleofsnowystarlightflashesoutwiththefigureofamaninblackuponit。Theshutterscloseimmediatelyandtheroomisdarkagain。Butthesilenceisnowbrokenbythesoundofpanting。
Thenthereisascrape;andtheflameofamatchisseeninthemiddleoftheroom。）
RAINA（crouchingonthebed）。Who’sthere？（Thematchisoutinstantly。）Who’sthere？Whoisthat？
AMAN’SVOICE（inthedarkness，subduedly，butthreateningly）。
Sh——sh！Don’tcalloutoryou’llbeshot。Begood;andnoharmwillhappentoyou。（Sheisheardleavingherbed，andmakingforthedoor。）Takecare，there’snouseintryingtorunaway。
Remember，ifyouraiseyourvoicemypistolwillgooff。
（Commandingly。）Strikealightandletmeseeyou。Doyouhear？
（Anothermomentofsilenceanddarkness。Thensheisheardretreatingtothedressing-table。Shelightsacandle，andthemysteryisatanend。Amanofabout35，inadeplorableplight，bespatteredwithmudandbloodandsnow，hisbeltandthestrapofhisrevolvercasekeepingtogetherthetornruinsofthebluecoatofaServianartilleryofficer。Asfarasthecandlelightandhisunwashed，unkemptconditionmakeitpossibletojudge，heisamanofmiddlingstatureandundistinguishedappearance，withstrongneckandshoulders，aroundish，obstinatelookingheadcoveredwithshortcrispbronzecurls，clearquickblueeyesandgoodbrowsandmouth，ahopelesslyprosaicnoselikethatofastrong-mindedbaby，trimsoldierlikecarriageandenergeticmanner，andwithallhiswitsabouthiminspiteofhisdesperatepredicament——evenwithasenseofhumorofit，without，however，theleastintentionoftriflingwithitorthrowingawayachance。HereckonsupwhathecanguessaboutRaina——herage，hersocialposition，hercharacter，theextenttowhichsheisfrightened——ataglance，andcontinues，morepolitelybutstillmostdeterminedly）Excusemydisturbingyou;
butyourecognisemyuniform——Servian。IfI’mcaughtIshallbekilled。（Determinedly。）Doyouunderstandthat？
RAINA。Yes。
MAN。Well，Idon’tintendtogetkilledifIcanhelpit。（Stillmoredeterminedly。）Doyouunderstandthat？（Helocksthedoorwithasnap。）
RAINA（disdainfully）。Isupposenot。（Shedrawsherselfupsuperbly，andlookshimstraightintheface，sayingwithemphasis）Somesoldiers，Iknow，areafraidofdeath。
MAN（withgrimgoodhumor）。Allofthem，dearlady，allofthem，believeme。Itisourdutytoliveaslongaswecan，andkillasmanyoftheenemyaswecan。Nowifyouraiseanalarm——
RAINA（cuttinghimshort）。Youwillshootme。HowdoyouknowthatIamafraidtodie？
MAN（cunningly）。Ah;butsupposeIdon’tshootyou，whatwillhappenthen？Why，alotofyourcavalry——thegreatestblackguardsinyourarmy——willburstintothisprettyroomofyoursandslaughtermeherelikeapig;forI’llfightlikeademon：theyshan’tgetmeintothestreettoamusethemselveswith：Iknowwhattheyare。Areyoupreparedtoreceivethatsortofcompanyinyourpresentundress？（Raina，suddenlyconsciousofhernightgown，instinctivelyshrinksandgathersitmorecloselyabouther。Hewatchesher，andadds，pitilessly）
It’sratherscanty，eh？（Sheturnstotheottoman。Heraiseshispistolinstantly，andcries）Stop！（Shestops。）Whereareyougoing？
RAINA（withdignifiedpatience）。Onlytogetmycloak。
MAN（dartingtotheottomanandsnatchingthecloak）。Agoodidea。No：I’llkeepthecloak：andyouwilltakecarethatnobodycomesinandseesyouwithoutit。Thisisabetterweaponthanthepistol。（Hethrowsthepistoldownontheottoman。）
RAINA（revolted）。Itisnottheweaponofagentleman！
MAN。It’sgoodenoughforamanwithonlyyoutostandbetweenhimanddeath。（Astheylookatoneanotherforamoment，RainahardlyabletobelievethatevenaServianofficercanbesocynicallyandselfishlyunchivalrous，theyarestartledbyasharpfusilladeinthestreet。Thechillofimminentdeathhushestheman’svoiceasheadds）Doyouhear？Ifyouaregoingtobringthosescoundrelsinonmeyoushallreceivethemasyouare。（Rainameetshiseyewithunflinchingscorn。Suddenlyhestarts，listening。Thereisastepoutside。Someonetriesthedoor，andthenknockshurriedlyandurgentlyatit。Rainalooksattheman，breathless。Hethrowsuphisheadwiththegestureofamanwhoseesthatitisalloverwithhim，and，droppingthemannerwhichhehasbeenassumingtointimidateher，flingsthecloaktoher，exclaiming，sincerelyandkindly）Nouse：I’mdonefor。Quick！wrapyourselfup：they’recoming！
RAINA（catchingthecloakeagerly）。Oh，thankyou。（Shewrapsherselfupwithgreatrelief。Hedrawshissabreandturnstothedoor，waiting。）
LOUKA（outside，knocking）。Mylady，mylady！Getup，quick，andopenthedoor。
RAINA（anxiously）。Whatwillyoudo？
MAN（grimly）。Nevermind。Keepoutoftheway。Itwillnotlastlong。
RAINA（impulsively）。I’llhelpyou。Hideyourself，oh，hideyourself，quick，behindthecurtain。（Sheseizeshimbyatornstripofhissleeve，andpullshimtowardsthewindow。）
MAN（yieldingtoher）。Thereisjusthalfachance，ifyoukeepyourhead。Remember：ninesoldiersoutoftenarebornfools。
（Hehidesbehindthecurtain，lookingoutforamomenttosay，finally）Iftheyfindme，Ipromiseyouafight——adevilofafight！（Hedisappears。Rainatakesofthecloakandthrowsitacrossthefootofthebed。Thenwithasleepy，disturbedair，sheopensthedoor。Loukaentersexcitedly。）
LOUKA。Amanhasbeenseenclimbingupthewater-pipetoyourbalcony——aServian。Thesoldierswanttosearchforhim;andtheyaresowildanddrunkandfurious。Myladysaysyouaretodressatonce。
RAINA（asifannoyedatbeingdisturbed）。Theyshallnotsearchhere。Whyhavetheybeenletin？
CATHERINE（cominginhastily）。Raina，darling，areyousafe？
Haveyouseenanyoneorheardanything？
RAINA。Iheardtheshooting。Surelythesoldierswillnotdarecomeinhere？
CATHERINE。IhavefoundaRussianofficer，thankHeaven：heknowsSergius。（Speakingthroughthedoortosomeoneoutside。）
Sir，willyoucomeinnow！Mydaughterisready。
（AyoungRussianofficer，inBulgarianuniform，enters，swordinhand。）
THEOFFICER。（withsoft，felinepolitenessandstiffmilitarycarriage）。Goodevening，graciouslady;Iamsorrytointrude，butthereisafugitivehidingonthebalcony。Willyouandthegraciousladyyourmotherpleasetowithdrawwhilstwesearch？
RAINA（petulantly）。Nonsense，sir，youcanseethatthereisnooneonthebalcony。（Shethrowstheshutterswideopenandstandswithherbacktothecurtainwherethemanishidden，pointingtothemoonlitbalcony。Acoupleofshotsarefiredrightunderthewindow，andabulletshatterstheglassoppositeRaina，whowinksandgasps，butstandsherground，whilstCatherinescreams，andtheofficerrushestothebalcony。）
THEOFFICER。（onthebalcony，shoutingsavagelydowntothestreet）。Ceasefiringthere，youfools：doyouhear？Ceasefiring，damnyou。（Heglaresdownforamoment;thenturnstoRaina，tryingtoresumehispolitemanner。）Couldanyonehavegotinwithoutyourknowledge？Wereyouasleep？
RAINA。No，Ihavenotbeentobed。
THEOFFICER。（impatiently，comingbackintotheroom）。YourneighbourshavetheirheadssofullofrunawayServiansthattheyseethemeverywhere。（Politely。）Graciouslady，athousandpardons。Good-night。（Militarybow，whichRainareturnscoldly。
AnothertoCatherine，whofollowshimout。Rainaclosestheshutters。SheturnsandseesLouka，whohasbeenwatchingthescenecuriously。）
RAINA。Don’tleavemymother，Louka，whilstthesoldiersarehere。（LoukaglancesatRaina，attheottoman，atthecurtain;
thenpursesherlipssecretively，laughstoherself，andgoesout。Rainafollowshertothedoor，shutsitbehindherwithaslam，andlocksitviolently。Themanimmediatelystepsoutfrombehindthecurtain，sheathinghissabre，anddismissingthedangerfromhismindinabusinesslikeway。）
MAN。Anarrowshave;butamissisasgoodasamile。Dearyounglady，yourservantuntildeath。IwishforyoursakeIhadjoinedtheBulgarianarmyinsteadoftheServian。IamnotanativeServian。
RAINA（haughtily）。No，youareoneoftheAustrianswhosettheServiansontorobusofournationalliberty，andwhoofficertheirarmyforthem。Wehatethem！
MAN。Austrian！notI。Don’thateme，dearyounglady。IamonlyaSwiss，fightingmerelyasaprofessionalsoldier。IjoinedServiabecauseitwasnearesttome。Begenerous：you’vebeatenushollow。
RAINA。HaveInotbeengenerous？
MAN。Noble！——heroic！ButI’mnotsavedyet。Thisparticularrushwillsoonpassthrough;butthepursuitwillgoonallnightbyfitsandstarts。Imusttakemychancetogetoffduringaquietinterval。Youdon’tmindmywaitingjustaminuteortwo，doyou？
RAINA。Oh，no：Iamsorryyouwillhavetogointodangeragain。
（Motioningtowardsottoman。）Won’tyousit——（Shebreaksoffwithanirrepressiblecryofalarmasshecatchessightofthepistol。Theman，allnerves，shieslikeafrightenedhorse。）
MAN（irritably）。Don’tfrightenmelikethat。Whatisit？
RAINA。Yourpistol！Itwasstaringthatofficerinthefaceallthetime。Whatanescape！
MAN（vexedatbeingunnecessarilyterrified）。Oh，isthatall？
RAINA（staringathimrathersuperciliously，conceivingapoorerandpooreropinionofhim，andfeelingproportionatelymoreandmoreathereasewithhim）。IamsorryIfrightenedyou。（Shetakesupthepistolandhandsittohim。）Praytakeittoprotectyourselfagainstme。
MAN（grinningwearilyatthesarcasmashetakesthepistol）。
Nouse，dearyounglady：there’snothinginit。It’snotloaded。
（Hemakesagrimaceatit，anddropsitdisparaginglyintohisrevolvercase。）
RAINA。Loaditbyallmeans。
MAN。I’venoammunition。Whatusearecartridgesinbattle？I
alwayscarrychocolateinstead;andIfinishedthelastcakeofthatyesterday。
RAINA（outragedinhermostcherishedidealsofmanhood）。
Chocolate！Doyoustuffyourpocketswithsweets——likeaschoolboy——eveninthefield？
MAN。Yes。Isn’titcontemptible？
（Rainastaresathim，unabletoutterherfeelings。Thenshesailsawayscornfullytothechestofdrawers，andreturnswiththeboxofconfectioneryinherhand。）
RAINA。Allowme。IamsorryIhaveeatenthemallexceptthese。
（Sheoffershimthebox。）
MAN（ravenously）。You’reanangel！（Hegobblesthecomfits。）
Creams！Delicious！（Helooksanxiouslytoseewhetherthereareanymore。Therearenone。Heacceptstheinevitablewithpatheticgoodhumor，andsays，withgratefulemotion）Blessyou，dearlady。Youcanalwaystellanoldsoldierbytheinsideofhisholstersandcartridgeboxes。Theyoungonescarrypistolsandcartridges;theoldones，grub。Thankyou。（Hehandsbackthebox。Shesnatchesitcontemptuouslyfromhimandthrowsitaway。Thisimpatientactionissosuddenthatheshiesagain。）
Ugh！Don’tdothingssosuddenly，graciouslady。Don’trevengeyourselfbecauseIfrightenedyoujustnow。
RAINA（superbly）。Frightenme！Doyouknow，sir，thatthoughI
amonlyawoman，IthinkIamatheartasbraveasyou。
MAN。Ishouldthinkso。Youhaven’tbeenunderfireforthreedaysasIhave。Icanstandtwodayswithoutshewingitmuch;
butnomancanstandthreedays：I’masnervousasamouse。（Hesitsdownontheottoman，andtakeshisheadinhishands。）
Wouldyouliketoseemecry？
RAINA（quickly）。No。
MAN。Ifyouwould，allyouhavetodoistoscoldmejustasifIwerealittleboyandyoumynurse。IfIwereincampnowthey’dplayallsortsoftricksonme。
RAINA（alittlemoved）。I’msorry。Iwon’tscoldyou。（Touchedbythesympathyinhertone，heraiseshisheadandlooksgratefullyather：sheimmediatelydrawshackandsaysstiffly）
Youmustexcuseme：oursoldiersarenotlikethat。（Shemovesawayfromtheottoman。）
MAN。Oh，yes，theyare。Thereareonlytwosortsofsoldiers：
oldonesandyoungones。I’veservedfourteenyears：halfofyourfellowsneversmeltpowderbefore。Why，howisitthatyou’vejustbeatenus？Sheerignoranceoftheartofwar，nothingelse。（Indignantly。）Ineversawanythingsounprofessional。
RAINA（ironically）。Oh，wasitunprofessionaltobeatyou？
MAN。Well，come，isitprofessionaltothrowaregimentofcavalryonabatteryofmachineguns，withthedeadcertaintythatifthegunsgooffnotahorseormanwillevergetwithinfiftyyardsofthefire？Icouldn’tbelievemyeyeswhenIsawit。
RAINA（eagerlyturningtohim，asallherenthusiasmandherdreamofgloryrushbackonher）。Didyouseethegreatcavalrycharge？Oh，tellmeaboutit。Describeittome。
MAN。Youneversawacavalrycharge，didyou？
RAINA。HowcouldI？
MAN。Ah，perhapsnot——ofcourse。Well，it’safunnysight。It’slikeslingingahandfulofpeasagainstawindowpane：firstonecomes;thentwoorthreeclosebehindhim;andthenalltherestinalump。
RAINA（hereyesdilatingassheraisesherclaspedhandsecstatically）。Yes，firstOne！——thebravestofthebrave！
MAN（prosaically）。Hm！youshouldseethepoordevilpullingathishorse。
RAINA。Whyshouldhepullathishorse？
MAN（impatientofsostupidaquestion）。It’srunningawaywithhim，ofcourse：doyousupposethefellowwantstogettherebeforetheothersandbekilled？Thentheyallcome。Youcantelltheyoungonesbytheirwildnessandtheirslashing。Theoldonescomebunchedupunderthenumberoneguard：theyknowthattheyaremereprojectiles，andthatit’snousetryingtofight。Thewoundsaremostlybrokenknees，fromthehorsescannoningtogether。
RAINA。Ugh！ButIdon’tbelievethefirstmanisacoward。I
believeheisahero！
MAN（goodhumoredly）。That’swhatyou’dhavesaidifyou’dseenthefirstmaninthechargeto-day。
RAINA（breathless）。Ah，Iknewit！Tellme——tellmeabouthim。
MAN。Hediditlikeanoperatictenor——aregularhandsomefellow，withflashingeyesandlovelymoustache，shoutingawar-cryandcharginglikeDonQuixoteatthewindmills。Wenearlyburstwithlaughterathim;butwhenthesergeantranupaswhiteasasheet，andtoldusthey’dsentusthewrongcartridges，andthatwecouldn’tfireashotforthenexttenminutes，welaughedattheothersideofourmouths。Ineverfeltsosickinmylife，thoughI’vebeeninoneortwoverytightplaces。AndIhadn’tevenarevolvercartridge——nothingbutchocolate。We’dnobayonets——nothing。Ofcourse，theyjustcutustobits。AndtherewasDonQuixoteflourishinglikeadrummajor，thinkinghe’ddonethecleverestthingeverknown，whereasheoughttobecourtmartialledforit。Ofallthefoolseverletlooseonafieldofbattle，thatmanmustbetheverymaddest。Heandhisregimentsimplycommittedsuicide——onlythepistolmissedfire，that’sall。
RAINA（deeplywounded，butsteadfastlyloyaltoherideals）。
Indeed！Wouldyouknowhimagainifyousawhim？
MAN。ShallIeverforgethim。（Sheagaingoestothechestofdrawers。Hewatchesherwithavaguehopethatshemayhavesomethingelseforhimtoeat。Shetakestheportraitfromitsstandandbringsittohim。）
RAINA。Thatisaphotographofthegentleman——thepatriotandhero——towhomIambetrothed。
MAN（lookingatit）。I’mreallyverysorry。（Lookingather。）
Wasitfairtoleadmeon？（Helooksattheportraitagain。）
Yes：that’shim：notadoubtofit。（Hestiflesalaugh。）
RAINA（quickly）。Whydoyoulaugh？
MAN（shamefacedly，butstillgreatlytickled）。Ididn’tlaugh，Iassureyou。AtleastIdidn’tmeanto。ButwhenIthinkofhimchargingthewindmillsandthinkinghewasdoingthefinestthing——（chokeswithsuppressedlaughter）。
RAINA（sternly）。Givemebacktheportrait，sir。
MAN（withsincereremorse）。Ofcourse。Certainly。I’mreallyverysorry。（Shedeliberatelykissesit，andlookshimstraightintheface，beforereturningtothechestofdrawerstoreplaceit。Hefollowsher，apologizing。）PerhapsI’mquitewrong，youknow：nodoubtIam。Mostlikelyhehadgotwindofthecartridgebusinesssomehow，andknewitwasasafejob。
RAINA。Thatistosay，hewasapretenderandacoward！Youdidnotdaresaythatbefore。
MAN（withacomicgestureofdespair）。It’snouse，dearlady：
Ican’tmakeyouseeitfromtheprofessionalpointofview。（Asheturnsawaytogetbacktotheottoman，thefiringbeginsagaininthedistance。）
RAINA（sternly，assheseeshimlisteningtotheshots）。Somuchthebetterforyou。
MAN（turning）。How？
RAINA。Youaremyenemy;andyouareatmymercy。WhatwouldI
doifIwereaprofessionalsoldier？
MAN。Ah，true，dearyounglady：you’realwaysright。Iknowhowgoodyouhavebeentome：tomylasthourIshallrememberthosethreechocolatecreams。Itwasunsoldierly;butitwasangelic。
RAINA（coldly）。Thankyou。AndnowIwilldoasoldierlything。
Youcannotstayhereafterwhatyouhavejustsaidaboutmyfuturehusband;butIwillgooutonthebalconyandseewhetheritissafeforyoutoclimbdownintothestreet。（Sheturnstothewindow。）
MAN（changingcountenance）。Downthatwaterpipe！Stop！Wait！I
can’t！Idaren’t！Theverythoughtofitmakesmegiddy。Icameupitfastenoughwithdeathbehindme。Buttofaceitnowincoldblood！——（Hesinksontheottoman。）It’snouse：Igiveup：
I’mbeaten。Givethealarm。（Hedropshisheadinhishandsinthedeepestdejection。）
RAINA（disarmedbypity）。Come，don’tbedisheartened。（Shestoopsoverhimalmostmaternally：heshakeshishead。）Oh，youareaverypoorsoldier——achocolatecreamsoldier。Come，cheerup：ittakeslesscouragetoclimbdownthantofacecapture——rememberthat。
MAN（dreamily，lulledbyhervoice）。No，captureonlymeansdeath;anddeathissleep——oh，sleep，sleep，sleep，undisturbedsleep！Climbingdownthepipemeansdoingsomething——exertingmyself——thinking！Deathtentimesoverfirst。
RAINA（softlyandwonderingly，catchingtherhythmofhisweariness）。Areyousosleepyasthat？
MAN。I’venothadtwohours’undisturbedsleepsincethewarbegan。I’monthestaff：youdon’tknowwhatthatmeans。I
haven’tclosedmyeyesforthirty-sixhours。
RAINA（desperately）。ButwhatamItodowithyou。
MAN（staggeringup）。OfcourseImustdosomething。（Heshakeshimself;pullshimselftogether;andspeakswithralliedvigourandcourage。）Yousee，sleepornosleep，hungerornohunger，tiredornottired，youcanalwaysdoathingwhenyouknowitmustbedone。Well，thatpipemustbegotdown——（Hehitshimselfonthechest，andadds）——Doyouhearthat，youchocolatecreamsoldier？（Heturnstothewindow。）
RAINA（anxiously）。Butifyoufall？
MAN。Ishallsleepasifthestoneswereafeatherbed。
Good-bye。（Hemakesboldlyforthewindow，andhishandisontheshutterwhenthereisaterribleburstoffiringinthestreetbeneath。）
RAINA（rushingtohim）。Stop！（Shecatcheshimbytheshoulder，andturnshimquiteround。）They’llkillyou。
MAN（coolly，butattentively）。Nevermind：thissortofthingisallinmyday’swork。I’mboundtotakemychance。
（Decisively。）NowdowhatItellyou。Putoutthecandles，sothattheyshan’tseethelightwhenIopentheshutters。Andkeepawayfromthewindow，whateveryoudo。Iftheyseeme，they’resuretohaveashotatme。
RAINA（clingingtohim）。They’resuretoseeyou：it’sbrightmoonlight。I’llsaveyou——oh，howcanyoubesoindifferent？Youwantmetosaveyou，don’tyou？
MAN。Ireallydon’twanttobetroublesome。（Sheshakeshiminherimpatience。）Iamnotindifferent，dearyounglady，Iassureyou。Buthowisittobedone？
RAINA。Comeawayfromthewindow——please。（Shecoaxeshimbacktothemiddleoftheroom。Hesubmitshumbly。Shereleaseshim，andaddresseshimpatronizingly。）Nowlisten。Youmusttrusttoourhospitality。Youdonotyetknowinwhosehouseyouare。I
amaPetkoff。
MAN。What’sthat？
RAINA（ratherindignantly）。ImeanthatIbelongtothefamilyofthePetkoffs，therichestandbestknowninourcountry。
MAN。Oh，yes，ofcourse。Ibegyourpardon。ThePetkoffs，tobesure。Howstupidofme！
RAINA。Youknowyouneverheardofthemuntilthisminute。Howcanyoustooptopretend？
MAN。Forgiveme：I’mtootiredtothink;andthechangeofsubjectwastoomuchforme。Don’tscoldme。
RAINA。Iforgot。Itmightmakeyoucry。（Henods，quiteseriously。Shepoutsandthenresumesherpatronizingtone。）I
musttellyouthatmyfatherholdsthehighestcommandofanyBulgarianinourarmy。Heis（proudly）aMajor。
MAN（pretendingtobedeeplyimpressed）。AMajor！Blessme！
Thinkofthat！
RAINA。Youshewedgreatignoranceinthinkingthatitwasnecessarytoclimbuptothebalcony，becauseoursistheonlyprivatehousethathastworowsofwindows。Thereisaflightofstairsinsidetogetupanddownby。
MAN。Stairs！Howgrand！Youliveingreatluxuryindeed，dearyounglady。
RAINA。Doyouknowwhatalibraryis？
MAN。Alibrary？Aroomfulofbooks。
RAINA。Yes，wehaveone，theonlyoneinBulgaria。
MAN。Actuallyareallibrary！Ishouldliketoseethat。
RAINA（affectedly）。ItellyouthesethingstoshewyouthatyouarenotinthehouseofignorantcountryfolkwhowouldkillyouthemomenttheysawyourServianuniform，butamongcivilizedpeople。WegotoBucharesteveryyearfortheoperaseason;andIhavespentawholemonthinVienna。
MAN。Isawthat，dearyounglady。Isawatoncethatyouknewtheworld。
RAINA。HaveyoueverseentheoperaofErnani？
MAN。Isthattheonewiththedevilinitinredvelvet，andasoldier’schorus？
RAINA（contemptuously）。No！
MAN（stiflingaheavysighofweariness）。ThenIdon’tknowit。
RAINA。IthoughtyoumighthaverememberedthegreatscenewhereErnani，flyingfromhisfoesjustasyouaretonight，takesrefugeinthecastleofhisbitterestenemy，anoldCastiliannoble。Thenoblerefusestogivehimup。Hisguestissacredtohim。
MAN（quicklywakingupalittle）。Haveyourpeoplegotthatnotion？
RAINA（withdignity）。MymotherandIcanunderstandthatnotion，asyoucallit。Andifinsteadofthreateningmewithyourpistolasyoudid，youhadsimplythrownyourselfasafugitiveonourhospitality，youwouldhavebeenassafeasinyourfather’shouse。
MAN。Quitesure？
RAINA（turningherbackonhimindisgust。）Oh，itisuselesstotryandmakeyouunderstand。
MAN。Don’tbeangry：youseehowawkwarditwouldbeformeiftherewasanymistake。Myfatherisaveryhospitableman：hekeepssixhotels;butIcouldn’ttrusthimasfarasthat。WhataboutYOURfather？
RAINA。HeisawayatSlivnitzafightingforhiscountry。I
answerforyoursafety。Thereismyhandinpledgeofit。Willthatreassureyou？（Sheoffershimherhand。）
MAN（lookingdubiouslyathisownhand）。Betternottouchmyhand，dearyounglady。Imusthaveawashfirst。
RAINA（touched）。Thatisveryniceofyou。Iseethatyouareagentleman。
MAN（puzzled）。Eh？
RAINA。YoumustnotthinkIamsurprised。Bulgariansofreallygoodstanding——peopleinOURposition——washtheirhandsnearlyeveryday。ButIappreciateyourdelicacy。Youmaytakemyhand。
（Sheoffersitagain。）
MAN（kissingitwithhishandsbehindhisback）。Thanks，graciousyounglady：Ifeelsafeatlast。Andnowwouldyoumindbreakingthenewstoyourmother？Ihadbetternotstayheresecretlylongerthanisnecessary。
RAINA。IfyouwillbesogoodastokeepperfectlystillwhilstIamaway。
MAN。Certainly。（Hesitsdownontheottoman。）
（Rainagoestothebedandwrapsherselfinthefurcloak。Hiseyesclose。Shegoestothedoor，butonturningforalastlookathim，seesthatheisdroppingoftosleep。）
RAINA（atthedoor）。Youarenotgoingasleep，areyou？
（Hemurmursinarticulately：sherunstohimandshakeshim。）
Doyouhear？Wakeup：youarefallingasleep。
MAN。Eh？Fallingaslee——？Oh，no，nottheleastintheworld：Iwasonlythinking。It’sallright：I’mwideawake。
RAINA（severely）。WillyoupleasestandupwhileIamaway。（Herisesreluctantly。）Allthetime，mind。
MAN（standingunsteadily）。Certainly——certainly：youmaydependonme。
（Rainalooksdoubtfullyathim。Hesmilesfoolishly。Shegoesreluctantly，turningagainatthedoor，andalmostcatchinghimintheactofyawning。Shegoesout。）
MAN（drowsily）。Sleep，sleep，sleep，sleep，slee——（Tbewordstrailofintoamurmur。Hewakesagainwithashockonthepointoffalling。）WhereamI？That’swhatIwanttoknow：whereamI？Mustkeepawake。Nothingkeepsmeawakeexceptdanger——rememberthat——（intently）
danger，danger，danger，dan——Where’sdanger？Mustfindit。（Hestartsofvaguelyaroundtheroominsearchofit。）WhatamIlookingfor？Sleep——danger——don’tknow。
（Hestumblesagainstthebed。）Ah，yes：nowIknow。Allrightnow。I’mtogotobed，butnottosleep——besurenottosleep——becauseofdanger。Nottoliedown，either，onlysitdown。（Hesitsonthebed。Ablissfulexpressioncomesintohisface。）Ah！（Withahappysighhesinksbackatfulllength;liftshisbootsintothebedwithafinaleffort;andfallsfastasleepinstantly。）
（Catherinecomesin，followedbyRaina。）
RAINA（lookingattheottoman）。He’sgone！Ilefthimhere。
CATHERINE，Here！Thenhemusthaveclimbeddownfromthe——
RAINA（seeinghim）。Oh！（Shepoints。）
CATHERINE（scandalized）。Well！（Shestridestotheleftsideofthebed，Rainafollowingandstandingoppositeherontheright。）He’sfastasleep。Thebrute！
RAINA（anxiously）。Sh！
CATHERINE（shakinghim）。Sir！（Shakinghimagain，harder。）Sir！！（Vehementlyshakingverybard。）Sir！！！
RAINA（catchingherarm）。Don’t，mamma：thepoordeariswornout。Lethimsleep。
CATHERINE（lettinghimgoandturningamazedtoRaina）。
Thepoordear！Raina！！！（Shelookssternlyatherdaughter。Themansleepsprofoundly。）
ACTII
ThesixthofMarch，1886。InthegardenofmajorPetkoff’shouse。Itisafinespringmorning;andthegardenlooksfreshandpretty。Beyondthepalingthetopsofacoupleofminaretscanheseen，shewingthatthereitavalleythere，withthelittletowninit。AfewmilesfurthertheBalkanmountainsriseandshutintheview。Withinthegardenthesideofthehouseisseenontheright，withagardendoorreachedbyalittleflightofsteps。Ontheleftthestableyard，withitsgateway，encroachesonthegarden。Therearefruitbushesalongthepalingandhouse，coveredwithwashinghungouttodry。Apathrunsbythehouse，andrisesbytwostepsatthecornerwhereitturnsoutoftherightalongthefront。Inthemiddleasmalltable，withtwobentwoodchairsatit，islaidforbreakfastwithTurkishcoffeepot，cups，rolls，etc。;butthecupshavebeenusedandthebreadbroken。Thereisawoodengardenseatagainstthewallontheleft。
Louka，smokingacigaret，isstandingbetweenthetableandthehouse，turningherbackwithangrydisdainonaman-servantwhoislecturingher。Heisamiddle-agedmanofcooltemperamentandlowbutclearandkeenintelligence，withthecomplacencyoftheservantwhovalueshimselfonhisrankinservility，andtheimperturbabilityoftheaccuratecalculatorwhohasnoillusions。HewearsawhiteBulgariancostumejacketwithdecoratedharder，sash，wideknickerbockers，anddecoratedgaiters。Hisheadisshaveduptothecrown，givinghimahighJapaneseforehead。HisnameisNicola。
NICOLA。Bewarnedintime，Louka：mendyourmanners。Iknowthemistress。Sheissograndthatsheneverdreamsthatanyservantcoulddaretobedisrespectfultoher;butifsheoncesuspectsthatyouaredefyingher，outyougo。
LOUKA。Idodefyher。Iwilldefyher。WhatdoIcareforher？
NICOLA。Ifyouquarrelwiththefamily，Inevercanmarryyou。
It’sthesameasifyouquarrelledwithme！
LOUKA。Youtakeherpartagainstme，doyou？
NICOLA（sedately）。Ishallalwaysbedependentonthegoodwillofthefamily。WhenIleavetheirserviceandstartashopinSofea，theircustomwillbehalfmycapital：theirbadwordwouldruinme。
LOUKA。Youhavenospirit。Ishouldliketoseethemdaresayawordagainstme！
NICOLA（pityingly）。Ishouldhaveexpectedmoresensefromyou，Louka。Butyou’reyoung，you’reyoung！
LOUKA。Yes;andyoulikemethebetterforit，don’tyou？ButI
knowsomefamilysecretstheywouldn’tcaretohavetold，youngasIam。Letthemquarrelwithmeiftheydare！
NICOLA（withcompassionatesuperiority）。Doyouknowwhattheywoulddoiftheyheardyoutalklikethat？
LOUKA。Whatcouldtheydo？
NICOLA。Dischargeyouforuntruthfulness。Whowouldbelieveanystoriesyoutoldafterthat？Whowouldgiveyouanothersituation？Whointhishousewoulddarebeseenspeakingtoyoueveragain？Howlongwouldyourfatherbeleftonhislittlefarm？（Sheimpatientlythrowsawaytheendofhercigaret，andstampsonit。）Child，youdon’tknowthepowersuchhighpeoplehaveoverthelikeofyouandmewhenwetrytoriseoutofourpovertyagainstthem。（Hegoesclosetoherandlowershisvoice。）Lookatme，tenyearsintheirservice。DoyouthinkI
knownosecrets？Iknowthingsaboutthemistressthatshewouldn’thavethemasterknowforathousandlevas。Iknowthingsabouthimthatshewouldn’tlethimhearthelastofforsixmonthsifIblabbedthemtoher。IknowthingsaboutRainathatwouldbreakoffhermatchwithSergiusif——
LOUKA（turningonhimquickly）。Howdoyouknow？Inevertoldyou！
NICOLA（openinghiseyescunningly）。Sothat’syourlittlesecret，isit？Ithoughtitmightbesomethinglikethat。Well，youtakemyadvice，andberespectful;andmakethemistressfeelthatnomatterwhatyouknowordon’tknow，theycandependonyoutoholdyourtongueandservethefamilyfaithfully。
That’swhattheylike;andthat’showyou’llmakemostoutofthem。
LOUKA（withsearchingscorn）。Youhavethesoulofaservant，Nicola。
NICOLA（complacently）。Yes：that’sthesecretofsuccessinservice。
（Aloudknockingwithawhiphandleonawoodendoor，outsideontheleft，isheard。）
MALEVOICEOUTSIDE。Hollo！Hollothere！Nicola！
LOUKA。Master！backfromthewar！
NICOLA（quickly）。Mywordforit，Louka，thewar’sover。Offwithyouandgetsomefreshcoffee。（Herunsoutintothestableyard。）
LOUKA（assheputsthecoffeepotandthecupsuponthetray，andcarriesitintothehouse）。You’llneverputthesoulofaservantintome。
（MajorPetkoffcomesfromthestableyard，followedbyNicola。Heisacheerful，excitable，insignificant，unpolishedmanofabout50，naturallyunambitiousexceptastohisincomeandhisimportanceinlocalsociety，butjustnowgreatlypleasedwiththemilitaryrankwhichthewarhasthrustonhimasamanofconsequenceinhistown。ThefeverofpluckypatriotismwhichtheServianattackrousedinalltheBulgarianshaspulledhimthroughthewar;butheisobviouslygladtobehomeagain。）
PETKOFF（pointingtothetablewithhiswhip）。Breakfastouthere，eh？
NICOLA。Yes，sir。ThemistressandMissRainahavejustgonein。