FromthencetheyproceededtotheStraits，enteredtheMediterranean，andatlengtharrivedatVenice。
　　"Godbepraised"，saidCandide，embracingMartin，"thisistheplacewhereIamtobeholdmybelovedCunegondeonceagain。IcanconfideinCacambo，likeanotherself。Alliswell，allisverywell，alliswellaspossible。"
　　chapter24CHAPTERXXIV
　　OFPACQUETTEANDFRIARGIROFLEE
　　UpontheirarrivalatVeniceCandidewentinsearchofCacamboateveryinnandcoffee-house，andamongalltheladiesofpleasure，butcouldhearnothingofhim。Hesenteverydaytoinquirewhatshipswerein，stillnonewsofCacambo。
　　"Itisstrange"，saidhetoMartin，"verystrangethatIshouldhavetimetosailfromSurinamtoBordeaux;totravelthencetoParis，toDieppe，toPortsmouth;tosailalongthecoastofPortugalandSpain，anduptheMediterraneantospendsomemonthsatVenice;andthatmylovelyCunegondeshouldnothavearrived。Insteadofher，IonlymetwithaParisianimpostor，andarascallyabbeofPerigord。Cunegondeisactuallydead，andIhavenothingtodobutfollowher。Alas！howmuchbetterwouldithavebeenformetohaveremainedintheparadiseofElDoradothantohavereturnedtothiscursedEurope！Youareintheright，mydearMartin;
　　youarecertainlyintheright;allismiseryanddeceit。"
　　Hefellintoadeepmelancholy，andneitherwenttotheoperatheninvogue，norpartookofanyofthediversionsoftheCarnival;
　　nay，heevenslightedthefairsex。
　　Martinsaidtohim，"Uponmyword，Ithinkyouareverysimpletoimaginethatarascallyvalet，withfiveorsixmillionsinhispocket，wouldgoinsearchofyourmistresstothefurtheroftheworld，andbringhertoVenicetomeetyou。Ifhefindsherhewilltakeherforhimself;ifhedoesnot，hewilltakeanother。LetmeadviseyoutoforgetyourvaletCacambo，andyourmistressCunegonde。"
　　Martin’sspeechwasnotthemostconsolatorytothedejectedCandide。Hismelancholyincreased，andMartinneverceasedtryingtoprovetohimthatthereisverylittlevirtueorhappinessinthisworld;
　　except，perhaps，inElDorado，wherehardlyanybodycangainadmittance。
　　Whiletheyweredisputingonthisimportantsubject，andstillexpectingMissCunegonde，CandideperceivedayoungTheatinfriarinthePiazzaSanMarco，withagirlunderhisarm。TheTheatinlookedfresh-colored，plump，andvigorous;hiseyessparkled;hisairandgaitwereboldandlofty。Thegirlwaspretty，andwassingingasong;andeverynowandthengaveherTheatinanamorousogleandwantonlypinchedhisruddycheeks。
　　"Youwillatleastallow"，saidCandidetoMartin，"thatthesetwoarehappy。
　　HithertoIhavemetwithnonebutunfortunatepeopleinthewholehabitableglobe，exceptinElDorado;butastothiscouple，Iwouldventuretolayawagertheyarehappy。"
　　"Done！"saidMartin，"theyarenotwhatyouimagine。"
　　"Well，wehaveonlytoaskthemtodinewithus"，saidCandide，"andyouwillseewhetherIammistakenornot。"
　　Thereuponheaccostedthem，andwithgreatpolitenessinvitedthemtohisinntoeatsomemacaroni，withLombardpartridgesandcaviar，andtodrinkabottleofMontepulciano，LacrymaChristi，Cyprus，andSamoswine。Thegirlblushed;theTheatinacceptedtheinvitationandshefollowedhim，eyeingCandideeverynowandthenwithamixtureofsurpriseandconfusion，whilethetearsstoledownhercheeks。Nosoonerdidsheenterhisapartmentthanshecriedout，"How，MonsieurCandide，haveyouquiteforgotyourPacquette？doyounotknowheragain？"
　　Candidehadnotregardedherwithanydegreeofattentionbefore，beingwhollyoccupiedwiththethoughtsofhisdearCunegonde。
　　"Ah！isityou，child？wasityouthatreducedDr。PanglosstothatfineconditionIsawhimin？"
　　"Alas！sir"，answeredPacquette，"itwasI，indeed。Ifindyouareacquaintedwitheverything;andIhavebeeninformedofallthemisfortunesthathappenedtothewholefamilyofMyLadyBaronessandthefairCunegonde。ButIcansafelysweartoyouthatmylotwasnolessdeplorable;Iwasinnocenceitselfwhenyousawmelast。
　　AFranciscan，whowasmyconfessor，easilyseducedme;theconsequencesprovedterrible。I
　　wasobligedtoleavethecastlesometimeaftertheBaronkickedyououtbythebacksidefromthere;andifafamoussurgeonhadnottakencompassiononme，Ihadbeenadeadwoman。Gratitudeobligedmetolivewithhimsometimeashismistress;hiswife，whowasaverydevilforjealousy，beatmeunmercifullyeveryday。Oh！shewasaperfectfury。Thedoctorhimselfwasthemostuglyofallmortals，andI
　　themostwretchedcreatureexisting，tobecontinuallybeatenforamanwhomIdidnotlove。
　　Youaresensible，sir，howdangerousitwasforanill-naturedwomantobemarriedtoaphysician。Incensedatthebehaviorofhiswife，heonedaygavehersoaffectionatearemedyforaslightcoldshehadcaughtthatshediedinlessthantwohoursinmostdreadfulconvulsions。
　　Herrelationsprosecutedthehusband，whowasobligedtofly，andI
　　wassenttoprison。
　　Myinnocencewouldnothavesavedme，ifIhadnotbeentolerablyhandsome。Thejudgegavememylibertyonconditionheshouldsucceedthedoctor。However，Iwassoonsupplantedbyarival，turnedoffwithoutafarthing，andobligedtocontinuetheabominabletradewhichyoumenthinksopleasing，butwhichtousunhappycreaturesisthemostdreadfulofallsufferings。AtlengthIcametofollowthebusinessatVenice。Ah！sir，didyoubutknowwhatitistobeobligedtoreceiveeveryvisitor;oldtradesmen，counselors，monks，watermen，andabbes;tobeexposedtoalltheirinsolenceandabuse;tobeoftennecessitatedtoborrowapetticoat，onlythatitmaybetakenupbysomedisagreeablewretch;toberobbedbyonegallantofwhatwegetfromanother;tobesubjecttotheextortionsofcivilmagistrates;andtohaveforeverbeforeone’seyestheprospectofoldage，ahospital，oradunghill，youwouldconcludethatIamoneofthemostunhappywretchesbreathing。"
　　ThusdidPacquetteunbosomherselftohonestCandideinhiscloset，inthepresenceofMartin，whotookoccasiontosaytohim，"YouseeIhavehalfwonthewageralready。"
　　FriarGirofleewasallthistimeintheparlorrefreshinghimselfwithaglassortwoofwinetilldinnerwasready。
　　"But"，saidCandidetoPacquette，"youlookedsogayandcontented，whenI
　　metyou，yousangandcaressedtheTheatinwithsomuchfondness，thatI
　　absolutelythoughtyouashappyasyousayyouarenowmiserable。"
　　"Ah！dearsir"，saidPacquette，"thisisoneofthemiseriesofthetrade;
　　yesterdayIwasstrippedandbeatenbyanofficer;yettodayImustappeargoodhumoredandgaytopleaseafriar。"
　　CandidewasconvincedandacknowledgedthatMartinwasintheright。
　　TheysatdowntotablewithPacquetteandtheTheatin;
　　theentertainmentwasagreeable，andtowardstheendtheybegantoconversetogetherwithsomefreedom。
　　"Father"，saidCandidetothefriar，"youseemtometoenjoyastateofhappinessthatevenkingsmightenvy;joyandhealtharepaintedinyourcountenance。Youhaveaprettywenchtodivertyou;andyouseemtobeperfectlywellcontentedwithyourconditionasaTheatin。"
　　"Faith，sir"，saidFriarGiroflee，"IwishwithallmysoultheTheatinswereeveryoneofthematthebottomofthesea。IhavebeentemptedathousandtimestosetfiretothemonasteryandgoandturnTurk。
　　Myparentsobligedme，attheageoffifteen，toputonthisdetestablehabitonlytoincreasethefortuneofanelderbrotherofmine，whomGodconfound！
　　jealousy，discord，andfury，resideinourmonastery。ItistrueIhavepreachedoftenpaltrysermons，bywhichIhavegotalittlemoney，partofwhichthepriorrobsmeof，andtheremainderhelpstopaymygirls;but，notwithstanding，atnight，whenIgohencetomymonastery，Iamreadytodashmybrainsagainstthewallsofthedormitory;andthisisthecasewithalltherestofourfraternity。"
　　Martin，turningtowardsCandide，withhisusualindifference，said，"Well，whatthinkyounow？haveIwonthewagerentirely？"
　　CandidegavetwothousandpiastrestoPacquette，andathousandtoFriarGiroflee，saying，"Iwillanswerthatthiswillmakethemhappy。"
　　"Iamnotofyouropinion"，saidMartin，"perhapsthismoneywillonlymakethemwretched。"
　　"Bethatasitmay"，saidCandide，"onethingcomfortsme;Iseethatoneoftenmeetswiththosewhomoneneverexpectedtoseeagain;sothat，perhaps，asIhavefoundmyredsheepandPacquette，I
　　maybeluckyenoughtofindMissCunegondealso。"
　　"Iwish"，saidMartin，"sheonedaymaymakeyouhappy;
　　butIdoubtitmuch。"
　　"Youlackfaith"，saidCandide。
　　"Itisbecause"，saidMartin，"Ihaveseentheworld。"
　　"Observethosegondoliers"，saidCandide，"aretheynotperpetuallysinging？"
　　"Youdonotseethem"，answeredMartin，"athomewiththeirwivesandbrats。Thedogehashischagrin，gondolierstheirs。Nevertheless，inthemain，Ilookuponthegondolier’slifeaspreferabletothatofthedoge;butthedifferenceissotriflingthatitisnotworththetroubleofexamininginto。"
　　"Ihaveheardgreattalk"，saidCandide，"oftheSenatorPococurante，wholivesinthatfinehouseattheBrenta，where，theysay，heentertainsforeignersinthemostpolitemanner。"
　　"Theypretendthismanisaperfectstrangertouneasiness。
　　Ishouldbegladtoseesoextraordinaryabeing"，saidMartin。
　　CandidethereuponsentamessengertoSeignorPococurante，desiringpermissiontowaitonhimthenextday。
　　chapter25CHAPTERXXV
　　CANDIDEANDMARTINPAYAVISIT
　　TOSEIGNOR
　　POCOCURANTE，ANOBLEVENETIAN
　　CandideandhisfriendMartinwentinagondolaontheBrenta，andarrivedatthepalaceofthenoblePococurante。Thegardenswerelaidoutineleganttaste，andadornedwithfinemarblestatues;hispalacewasbuiltafterthemostapprovedrulesofarchitecture。Themasterofthehouse，whowasamanofaffairs，andveryrich，receivedourtwotravelerswithgreatpoliteness，butwithoutmuchceremony，whichsomewhatdisconcertedCandide，butwasnotatalldispleasingtoMartin。
　　Assoonastheywereseated，twoveryprettygirls，neatlydressed，broughtinchocolate，whichwasextremelywellprepared。Candidecouldnothelppraisingtheirbeautyandgracefulcarriage。
　　"Thecreaturesareallright"，saidthesenator;"Iamusemyselfwiththemsometimes，forIamheartilytiredofthewomenofthetown，theircoquetry，theirjealousy，theirquarrels，theirhumors，theirmeannesses，theirpride，andtheirfolly;Iamwearyofmakingsonnets，orofpayingforsonnetstobemadeonthem;butafterall，thesetwogirlsbegintogrowveryindifferenttome。"
　　Afterhavingrefreshedhimself，Candidewalkedintoalargegallery，wherehewasstruckwiththesightofafinecollectionofpaintings。
　　"Pray"，saidCandide，"bywhatmasterarethetwofirstofthese？"
　　"TheyarebyRaphael"，answeredthesenator。"Igaveagreatdealofmoneyforthemsevenyearsago，purelyoutofcuriosity，astheyweresaidtobethefinestpiecesinItaly;butIcannotsaytheypleaseme：thecoloringisdarkandheavy;thefiguresdonotswellnorcomeoutenough;andthedraperyisbad。Inshort，notwithstandingtheencomiumslavisheduponthem，theyarenot，inmyopinion，atruerepresentationofnature。IapproveofnopaintingssavethosewhereinIthinkIbeholdnatureitself;andtherearefew，ifany，ofthatkindtobemetwith。Ihavewhatiscalledafinecollection，butItakenomannerofdelightinit。"
　　WhiledinnerwasbeingpreparedPococuranteorderedaconcert。
　　Candidepraisedthemusictotheskies。
　　"Thisnoise"，saidthenobleVenetian，"mayamuseoneforalittletime，butifitweretolastabovehalfanhour，itwouldgrowtiresometoeverybody，thoughperhapsnoonewouldcaretoownit。Musichasbecometheartofexecutingwhatisdifficult;now，whateverisdifficultcannotbelongpleasing。
　　"IbelieveImighttakemorepleasureinanopera，iftheyhadnotmadesuchamonsterofthatspeciesofdramaticentertainmentasperfectlyshocksme;
　　andIamamazedhowpeoplecanbeartoseewretchedtragediessettomusic;wherethescenesarecontrivedfornootherpurposethantolugin，asitwerebytheears，threeorfourridiculoussongs，togiveafavoriteactressanopportunityofexhibitingherpipe。LetwhowilldieawayinrapturesatthetrillsofaeunuchquaveringthemajesticpartofCaesarorCato，andstruttinginafoolishmanneruponthestage，butformypartI
　　havelongagorenouncedthesepaltryentertainments，whichconstitutethegloryofmodernItaly，andaresodearlypurchasedbycrownedheads。"
　　Candideopposedthesesentiments;buthediditinadiscreetmanner;asforMartin，hewasentirelyoftheoldsenator’sopinion。
　　Dinnerbeingservedtheysatdowntotable，and，afteraheartyrepast，returnedtothelibrary。Candide，observingHomerrichlybound，commendedthenobleVenetian’staste。
　　"This"，saidhe，"isabookthatwasoncethedelightofthegreatPangloss，thebestphilosopherinGermany。"
　　"Homerisnofavoriteofmine"，answeredPococurante，coolly，"IwasmadetobelieveoncethatItookapleasureinreadinghim;
　　buthiscontinualrepetitionsofbattleshaveallsucharesemblancewitheachother;hisgodsthatareforeverinhasteandbustle，withouteverdoinganything;hisHelen，whoisthecauseofthewar，andyethardlyactsinthewholeperformance;
　　hisTroy，thatholdsoutsolong，withoutbeingtaken：
　　inshort，allthesethingstogethermakethepoemveryinsipidtome。Ihaveaskedsomelearnedmen，whethertheyarenotinrealityasmuchtiredasmyselfwithreadingthispoet：thosewhospokeingenuously，assuredmethathehadmadethemfallasleep，andyetthattheycouldnotwellavoidgivinghimaplaceintheirlibraries;butthatitwasmerelyastheywoulddoanantique，orthoserustymedalswhicharekeptonlyforcuriosity，andareofnomannerofuseincommerce。"
　　"ButyourexcellencydoesnotsurelyformthesameopinionofVirgil？"saidCandide。
　　"Why，Igrant"，repliedPococurante，"thatthesecond，third，fourth，andsixthbooksofhisAeneid，areexcellent;butasforhispiousAeneas，hisstrongCloanthus，hisfriendlyAchates，hisboyAscanius，hissillykingLatinus，hisill-bredAmata，hisinsipidLavinia，andsomeothercharactersmuchinthesamestrain，Ithinktherecannotinnaturebeanythingmoreflatanddisagreeable。ImustconfessIpreferTassofarbeyondhim;nay，eventhatsleepytaletellerAriosto。"
　　"MayItakethelibertytoaskifyoudonotexperiencegreatpleasurefromreadingHorace？"saidCandide。
　　"Therearemaximsinthiswriter"，repliedPococurante，"whenceamanoftheworldmayreapsomebenefit;andtheshortmeasureoftheversemakesthemmoreeasilytoberetainedinthememory。ButIseenothingextraordinaryinhisjourneytoBrundusium，andhisaccountofhishaddinner;norinhisdirty，lowquarrelbetweenoneRupillius，whosewords，asheexpressesit，werefullofpoisonousfilth;andanother，whoselanguagewasdippedinvinegar。Hisindelicateversesagainstoldwomenandwitcheshavefrequentlygivenmegreatoffense：norcanIdiscoverthegreatmeritofhistellinghisfriendMaecenas，thatifhewillbutrankhimintheclassoflyricpoets，hisloftyheadshalltouchthestars。Ignorantreadersareapttojudgeawriterbyhisreputation。Formypart，Ireadonlytopleasemyself。I
　　likenothingbutwhatmakesformypurpose。"
　　Candide，whohadbeenbroughtupwithanotionofnevermakinguseofhisownjudgment，wasastonishedatwhatheheard;butMartinfoundtherewasagooddealofreasoninthesenator’sremarks。
　　"Oh！hereisaTully"，saidCandide;"thisgreatmanI
　　fancyyouarenevertiredofreading？"
　　"IndeedIneverreadhimatall"，repliedPococurante。
　　"WhatisittomewhetherhepleadsforRabiriusorCluentius？Itrycausesenoughmyself。I
　　hadoncesomelikingforhisphilosophicalworks;butwhenIfoundhedoubtedeverything，IthoughtIknewasmuchashimself，andhadnoneedofaguidetolearnignorance。"
　　"Ha！"criedMartin，"herearefourscorevolumesofthememoirsoftheAcademyofSciences;perhapstheremaybesomethingcuriousandvaluableinthiscollection。"
　　"Yes"，answeredPococurante，"sotheremightifanyoneofthesecompilersofthisrubbishhadonlyinventedtheartofpin-making;
　　butallthesevolumesarefilledwithmerechimericalsystems，withoutonesinglearticleconductivetorealutility。"
　　"Iseeaprodigiousnumberofplays"，saidCandide，"inItalian，Spanish，andFrench。"
　　"Yes"，repliedtheVenetian，"thereareIthinkthreethousand，andnotthreedozenofthemgoodforanything。Astothosehugevolumesofdivinity，andthoseenormouscollectionsofsermons，theyarenotalltogetherworthonesinglepageinSeneca;andIfancyyouwillreadilybelievethatneithermyself，noranyoneelse，everlooksintothem。"
　　Martin，perceivingsomeshelvesfilledwithEnglishbooks，saidtothesenator，"Ifancythatarepublicanmustbehighlydelightedwiththosebooks，whicharemostofthemwrittenwithanoblespiritoffreedom。"
　　"Itisnobletowriteaswethink"，saidPococurante;"itistheprivilegeofhumanity。ThroughoutItalywewriteonlywhatwedonotthink;andthepresentinhabitantsofthecountryoftheCaesarsandAntoninesdarenotacquireasingleideawithoutthepermissionofaDominicanfather。IshouldbeenamoredofthespiritoftheEnglishnation，diditnotutterlyfrustratethegoodeffectsitwouldproducebypassionandthespiritofparty。"
　　Candide，seeingaMilton，askedthesenatorifhedidnotthinkthatauthoragreatman。
　　"Who？"saidPococurantesharply;"thatbarbarianwhowritesatediouscommentaryintenbooksofrumblingverse，onthefirstchapterofGenesis？
　　thatslovenlyimitatoroftheGreeks，whodisfiguresthecreation，bymakingtheMessiahtakeapairofcompassesfromHeaven’sarmorytoplantheworld;whereasMosesrepresentedtheDietyasproducingthewholeuniversebyhisfiat？CanIthinkyouhaveanyesteemforawriterwhohasspoiledTasso’sHellandtheDevil;whotransformsLucifersometimesintoatoad，andatothersintoapygmy;whomakeshimsaythesamethingoveragainahundredtimes;whometamorphoseshimintoaschool-divine;
　　andwho，byanabsurdlyseriousimitationofAriosto’scomicinventionoffirearms，representsthedevilsandangelscannonadingeachotherinHeaven？NeitherInoranyotherItaliancanpossiblytakepleasureinsuchmelancholyreveries;butthemarriageofSinandDeath，andsnakesissuingfromthewomboftheformer，areenoughtomakeanypersonsickthatisnotlosttoallsenseofdelicacy。Thisobscene，whimsical，anddisagreeablepoemmetwiththeneglectitdeservedatitsfirstpublication;
　　andIonlytreattheauthornowashewastreatedinhisowncountrybyhiscontemporaries。"
　　Candidewassensiblygrievedatthisspeech，ashehadagreatrespectforHomer，andwasfondofMilton。
　　"Alas！"saidhesoftlytoMartin，"IamafraidthismanholdsourGermanpoetsingreatcontempt。"
　　"Therewouldbenosuchgreatharminthat"，saidMartin。
　　"Owhatasurprisingman！"saidCandide，stilltohimself;
　　"whataprodigiousgeniusisthisPococurante！nothingcanpleasehim。"
　　Afterfinishingtheirsurveyofthelibrary，theywentdownintothegarden，whenCandidecommendedtheseveralbeautiesthatofferedthemselvestohisview。
　　"Iknownothinguponearthlaidoutinsuchhadtaste"，saidPococurante;
　　"everythingaboutitischildishandtrifling;butIshallhaveanotherlaidouttomorrowuponanoblerplan。"
　　AssoonasourtwotravelershadtakenleaveofHisExcellency，CandidesaidtoMartin，"Well，Ihopeyouwillownthatthismanisthehappiestofallmortals，forheisaboveeverythinghepossesses。"
　　"Butdonotyousee"，answeredMartin，"thathelikewisedislikeseverythinghepossesses？ItwasanobservationofPlato，longsince，thatthosearenotthebeststomachsthatreject，withoutdistinction，allsortsofaliments。"
　　"True"，saidCandide，"butstilltheremustcertainlybeapleasureincriticisingeverything，andinperceivingfaultswhereothersthinktheyseebeauties。"
　　"Thatis"，repliedMartin，"thereisapleasureinhavingnopleasure。"
　　"Well，well"，saidCandide，"IfindthatIshallbetheonlyhappymanatlast，whenIamblessedwiththesightofmydearCunegonde。"
　　"Itisgoodtohope"，saidMartin。
　　Inthemeanwhile，daysandweekspassedaway，andnonewsofCacambo。
　　Candidewassooverwhelmedwithgrief，thathedidnotreflectonthebehaviorofPacquetteandFriarGiroflee，whoneverstayedtoreturnhimthanksforthepresentshehadsogenerouslymadethem。
　　chapter26CHAPTERXXVI
　　CANDIDEANDMARTINSUPWITHSIXSHARPERS。WHO
　　THEYWERE
　　OneeveningasCandide，withhisattendantMartin，wasgoingtositdowntosupperwithsomeforeignerswholodgedinthesameinnwheretheyhadtakenuptheirquarters，amanwithafacethecolorofsootcamebehindhim，andtakinghimbythearm，said，"Holdyourselfinreadinesstogoalongwithus;besureyoudonotfail。"
　　Uponthis，turningabouttoseefromwhomthesewordscame，hebeheldCacambo。NothingbutthesightofMissCunegondecouldhavegivenhimgreaterjoyandsurprise。Hewasalmostbesidehimself，andembracedthisdearfriend。
　　"Cunegonde！"saidhe，"Cunegondeiscomewithyoudoubtless！
　　Where，whereisshe？Carrymetoherthisinstant，thatImaydiewithjoyinherpresence。"
　　"Cunegondeisnothere"，answeredCacambo;"sheisinConstantinople。"
　　"Goodheavens！inConstantinople！butnomatterifshewereinChina，I
　　wouldflythither。Quick，quick，dearCacambo，letusbegone。"
　　"Softandfair"，saidCacambo，"staytillyouhavesupped。
　　Icannotatpresentstaytosayanythingmoretoyou;Iamaslave，andmymasterwaitsforme;Imustgoandattendhimattable：butmum！saynotaword，onlygetyoursupper，andholdyourselfinreadiness。"
　　Candide，dividedbetweenjoyandgrief，charmedtohavethusmetwithhisfaithfulagentagain，andsurprisedtohearhewasaslave，hisheartpalpitating，hissensesconfused，butfullofthehopesofrecoveringhisdearCunegonde，satdowntotablewithMartin，whobeheldallthesesceneswithgreatunconcern，andwithsixstrangers，whohadcometospendtheCarnivalatVenice。
　　Cacambowaitedattableupononeofthosestrangers。Whensupperwasnearlyover，hedrewneartohismaster，andwhisperedinhisear：
　　"Sire，YourMajestymaygowhenyouplease;theshipisready";andsosayinghelefttheroom。
　　Theguests，surprisedatwhattheyhadheard，lookedateachotherwithoutspeakingaword;whenanotherservantdrawingneartohismaster，inlikemannersaid，"Sire，YourMajesty’spost-chaiseisatPadua，andthebarkisready。"Themastermadehimasign，andheinstantlywithdrew。
　　Thecompanyallstaredateachotheragain，andthegeneralastonishmentwasincreased。Athirdservantthenapproachedanotherofthestrangers，andsaid，"Sire，ifYourMajestywillbeadvisedbyme，youwillnotmakeanylongerstayinthisplace;Iwillgoandgeteverythingready";andinstantlydisappeared。
　　CandideandMartinthentookitforgrantedthatthiswassomeofthediversionsoftheCarnival，andthatthesewerecharactersinmasquerade。
　　Thenafourthdomesticsaidtothefourthstranger，"YourMajestymaysetoffwhenyouplease";sayingwhich，hewentawayliketherest。Afifthvaletsaidthesametoafifthmaster。Butthesixthdomesticspokeinadifferentstyletothepersononwhomhewaited，andwhosatneartoCandide。
　　"Troth，sir"，saidhe，"theywilltrustYourMajestynolonger，normyselfneither;andwemaybothofuschancetobesenttojailthisverynight;andthereforeIshalltakecareofmyself，andsoadieu。"
　　Theservantsbeingallgone，thesixstrangers，withCandideandMartin，remainedinaprofoundsilence。AtlengthCandidebrokeitbysaying：
　　"Gentlemen，thisisaverysingularjokeuponmyword;
　　howcameyoualltobekings？FormypartIownfrankly，thatneithermyfriendMartinhere，normyself，haveanyclaimtoroyalty。"
　　Cacambo’smasterthenbegan，withgreatgravity，todeliverhimselfthusinItalian：
　　"Iamnotjokingintheleast，mynameisAchmetIII。I
　　wasGrandSultanformanyyears;Idethronedmybrother，mynephewdethronedme，myvizierslosttheirheads，andIamcondemnedtoendmydaysintheoldseraglio。
　　Mynephew，theGrandSultanMahomet，givesmepermissiontotravelsometimesformyhealth，andIamcometospendtheCarnivalatVenice。"
　　AyoungmanwhosatbyAchmet，spokenext，andsaid：
　　"MynameisIvan。IwasonceEmperorofalltheRussians，butwasdethronedinmycradle。Myparentswereconfined，andIwasbroughtupinaprison，yetIamsometimesallowedtotravel，thoughalwayswithpersonstokeepaguardoverme，andIcometospendtheCarnivalatVenice。"
　　Thethirdsaid：
　　"IamCharlesEdward，KingofEngland;myfatherhasrenouncedhisrighttothethroneinmyfavor。Ihavefoughtindefenseofmyrights，andnearathousandofmyfriendshavehadtheirheartstakenoutoftheirbodiesaliveandthrownintheirfaces。Ihavemyselfbeenconfinedinaprison。IamgoingtoRometovisittheKing，myfather，whowasdethronedaswellasmyself;andmygrandfatherandIhavecometospendtheCarnivalatVenice。"
　　Thefourthspokethus：
　　"IamtheKingofPoland;thefortuneofwarhasstrippedmeofmyhereditarydominions。Myfatherexperiencedthesamevicissitudesoffate。I
　　resignmyselftothewillofProvidence，inthesamemannerasSultanAchmet，theEmperorIvan，andKingCharlesEdward，whomGodlongpreserve;andIhavecometospendtheCarnivalatVenice。"
　　Thefifthsaid：
　　"IamKingofPolandalso。Ihavetwicelostmykingdom;
　　butProvidencehasgivenmeotherdominions，whereIhavedonemoregoodthanalltheSarmatiankingsputtogetherwereeverabletodoonthebanksoftheVistula;IresignmyselflikewisetoProvidence;andhavecometospendtheCarnivalatVenice。"
　　Itnowcametothesixthmonarch’sturntospeak。"Gentlemen"，saidhe，"I
　　amnotsogreataprinceastherestofyou，itistrue，butIam，however，acrownedhead。IamTheodore，electedKingofCorsica。
　　IhavehadthetitleofMajesty，andamnowhardlytreatedwithcommoncivility。
　　Ihavecoinedmoney，andamnotnowworthasingleducat。Ihavehadtwosecretaries，andamnowwithoutavalet。Iwasonceseatedonathrone，andsincethathavelainuponatrussofstraw，inacommonjailinLondon，andIverymuchfearIshallmeetwiththesamefatehereinVenice，whereIcame，likeYourMajesties，todivertmyselfattheCarnival。"
　　TheotherfiveKingslistenedtothisspeechwithgreatattention;itexcitedtheircompassion;eachofthemmadetheunhappyTheodoreapresentoftwentysequins，andCandidegavehimadiamond，worthjustahundredtimesthatsum。
　　"Whocanthisprivatepersonbe"，saidthefiveKingstooneanother，"whoisabletogive，andhasactuallygiven，ahundredtimesasmuchasanyofus？"
　　Justastheyrosefromtable，incamefourSereneHighnesses，whohadalsobeenstrippedoftheirterritoriesbythefortuneofwar，andhadcometospendtheremainderoftheCarnivalatVenice。Candidetooknomannerofnoticeofthem;forhisthoughtswerewhollyemployedonhisvoyagetoConstantinople，whereheintendedtogoinsearchofhislovelyMissCunegonde。
　　chapter27CHAPTERXXVII
　　CANDIDE’S
　　VOYAGETOCONSTANTINOPLE
　　ThetrustyCacambohadalreadyengagedthecaptainoftheTurkishshipthatwastocarrySultanAchmetbacktoConstantinopletotakeCandideandMartinonboard。Accordinglytheybothembarked，afterpayingtheirobeisancetohismiserableHighness。Astheyweregoingonboard，CandidesaidtoMartin：
　　"YouseewesuppedincompanywithsixdethronedKings，andtooneofthemIgavecharity。Perhapstheremaybeagreatmanyotherprincesstillmoreunfortunate。FormypartIhavelostonlyahundredsheep，andamnowgoingtoflytothearmsofmycharmingMissCunegonde。
　　MydearMartin，Imustinsistonit，thatPanglosswasintheright。Allisforthebest。"
　　"Iwishitmaybe"，saidMartin。
　　"ButthiswasanoddadventurewemetwithatVenice。I
　　donotthinkthereeverwasaninstancebeforeofsixdethronedmonarchssuppingtogetheratapublicinn。"
　　"Thisisnotmoreextraordinary"，saidMartin，"thanmostofwhathashappenedtous。Itisaverycommonthingforkingstobedethroned;andasforourhavingthehonortosupwithsixofthem，itisamereaccident，notdeservingourattention。"
　　AssoonasCandidesethisfootonboardthevessel，heflewtohisoldfriendandvaletCacamboand，throwinghisarmsabouthisneck，embracedhimwithtransportsofjoy。
　　"Well"，saidhe，"whatnewsofMissCunegonde？Doesshestillcontinuetheparagonofbeauty？Doesshelovemestill？Howdoesshedo？Youhave，doubtless，purchasedasuperbpalaceforheratConstantinople。"
　　"Mydearmaster"，repliedCacambo，"MissCunegondewashesdishesonthebanksofthePropontis，inthehouseofaprincewhohasveryfewtowash。SheisatpresentaslaveinthefamilyofanancientsovereignnamedRagotsky，whomtheGrandTurkallowsthreecrownsadaytomaintainhiminhisexile;butthemostmelancholycircumstanceofallis，thatsheisturnedhorriblyugly。"
　　"Uglyorhandsome"，saidCandide，"Iamamanofhonorand，assuch，amobligedtoloveherstill。Buthowcouldshepossiblyhavebeenreducedtosoabjectacondition，whenIsentfiveorsixmillionstoherbyyou？"
　　"Lordblessme"，saidCacambo，"wasnotIobligedtogivetwomillionstoSeignorDonFernandod’IbaraayFigueorayMascarenesyLampourdosySouza，theGovernorofBuenosAyres，forlibertytotakeMissCunegondeawaywithme？Andthendidnotabravefellowofapirategallantlystripusofalltherest？AndthendidnotthissamepiratecarryuswithhimtoCapeMatapan，toMilo，toNicaria，toSamos，toPetra，totheDardanelles，toMarmora，toScutari？MissCunegondeandtheoldwomanarenowservantstotheprinceIhavetoldyouof;andImyselfamslavetothedethronedSultan。"
　　"Whatachainofshockingaccidents！"exclaimedCandide。
　　"Butafterall，I
　　havestillsomediamondsleft，withwhichIcaneasilyprocureMissCunegonde’sliberty。Itisapitythoughsheisgrownsougly。"
　　ThenturningtoMartin，"Whatthinkyou，friend"，saidhe，"whoseconditionismosttobepitied，theEmperorAchmet’s，theEmperorIvan’s，KingCharlesEdward’s，ormine？"
　　"Faith，Icannotresolveyourquestion"，saidMartin，"unlessIhadbeeninthebreastsofyouall。"
　　"Ah！"criedCandide，"wasPanglossherenow，hewouldhaveknown，andsatisfiedmeatonce。"
　　"Iknownot"，saidMartin，"inwhatbalanceyourPanglosscouldhaveweighedthemisfortunesofmankind，andhavesetajustestimationontheirsufferings。AllthatIpretendtoknowofthematteristhattherearemillionsofmenontheearth，whoseconditionsareahundredtimesmorepitiablethanthoseofKingCharlesEdward，theEmperorIvan，orSultanAchmet。"
　　"Why，thatmaybe"，answeredCandide。
　　InafewdaystheyreachedtheBosphorus;andthefirstthingCandidedidwastopayahighransomforCacambo;then，withoutlosingtime，heandhiscompanionswentonboardagalley，inordertosearchforhisCunegondeonthebanksofthePropontis，notwithstandingshewasgrownsougly。
　　Thereweretwoslavesamongthecrewofthegalley，whorowedveryill，andtowhosebarebacksthemasterofthevesselfrequentlyappliedalash。
　　Candide，fromnaturalsympathy，lookedatthesetwoslavesmoreattentivelythanatanyoftherest，anddrewnearthemwithaneyeofpity。Theirfeatures，thoughgreatlydisfigured，appearedtohimtobearastrongresemblancewiththoseofPanglossandtheunhappyBaronJesuit，MissCunegonde’sbrother。Thisideaaffectedhimwithgriefandcompassion：heexaminedthemmoreattentivelythanbefore。
　　"Introth"，saidhe，turningtoMartin，"ifIhadnotseenmymasterPanglossfairlyhanged，andhadnotmyselfbeenunluckyenoughtoruntheBaronthroughthebody，Ishouldabsolutelythinkthosetworowerswerethemen。"
　　NosoonerhadCandideutteredthenamesoftheBaronandPangloss，thanthetwoslavesgaveagreatcry，ceasedrowing，andletfalltheiroarsoutoftheirhands。Themasterofthevessel，seeingthis，ranuptothem，andredoubledthedisciplineofthelash。
　　"Hold，hold"，criedCandide，"Iwillgiveyouwhatmoneyyoushallaskforthesetwopersons。"
　　"Goodheavens！itisCandide"，saidoneofthemen。
　　"Candide！"criedtheother。
　　"DoIdream"，saidCandide，"oramIawake？AmIactuallyonboardthisgalley？IsthisMyLordtheBaron，whomIkilled？andthatmymasterPangloss，whomIsawhangedbeforemyface？"
　　"ItisI！itisI！"criedtheybothtogether。
　　"What！isthisyourgreatphilosopher？"saidMartin。
　　"Mydearsir"，saidCandidetothemasterofthegalley，"howmuchdoyouaskfortheransomoftheBaronofThunder-ten-tronckh，whoisoneofthefirstbaronsoftheempire，andofMonsieurPangloss，themostprofoundmetaphysicianinGermany？"
　　"Why，then，Christiancur"，repliedtheTurkishcaptain，"sincethesetwodogsofChristianslavesarebaronsandmetaphysicians，whonodoubtareofhighrankintheirowncountry，thoushaltgivemefiftythousandsequins。"
　　"Youshallhavethem，sir;carrymebackasquickasthoughttoConstantinople，andyoushallreceivethemoneyimmediately-No！
　　carrymefirsttoMissCunegonde。"
　　Thecaptain，uponCandide’sfirstproposal，hadalreadytackedabout，andhemadethecrewplytheiroarssoeffectually，thatthevesselflewthroughthewater，quickerthanabirdcleavestheair。
　　CandidebestowedathousandembracesontheBaronandPangloss。
　　"Andsothen，mydearBaron，Ididnotkillyou？andyou，mydearPangloss，arecometolifeagainafteryourhanging？ButhowcameyouslavesonboardaTurkishgalley？"
　　"Andisittruethatmydearsisterisinthiscountry？"
　　saidtheBaron。
　　"Yes"，saidCacambo。
　　"AnddoIonceagainbeholdmydearCandide？"saidPangloss。
　　CandidepresentedMartinandCacambotothem;theyembracedeachother，andallspoketogether。Thegalleyflewlikelightning，andsoontheyweregotbacktoport。CandideinstantlysentforaJew，towhomhesoldforfiftythousandsequinsadiamondrichlyworthonehundredthousand，thoughthefellowsworetohimallthetimebyFatherAbrahamthathegavehimthemosthecouldpossiblyafford。Henosoonergotthemoneyintohishands，thanhepaiditdownfortheransomoftheBaronandPangloss。Thelatterflunghimselfatthefeetofhisdeliverer，andbathedhimwithhistears;
　　theformerthankedhimwithagraciousnod，andpromisedtoreturnhimthemoneythefirstopportunity。
　　"Butisitpossible"，saidhe，"thatmysistershouldbeinTurkey？"
　　"Nothingismorepossible"，answeredCacambo，"forshescoursthedishesinthehouseofaTransylvanianprince。"
　　CandidesentdirectlyfortwoJews，andsoldmorediamondstothem;andthenhesetoutwithhiscompanionsinanothergalley，todeliverMissCunegondefromslavery。
　　chapter28CHAPTERXXVIII
　　WHATBEFELLCANDIDE，CUNEGONDE，PANGLOSS，MARTIN，ETC。
　　Pardon"，saidCandidetotheBaron;"oncemoreletmeentreatyourpardon，ReverendFather，forrunningyouthroughthebody。"
　　"Saynomoreaboutit"，repliedtheBaron。"IwasalittletoohastyImustown;butasyouseemtobedesiroustoknowbywhataccidentIcametobeaslaveonboardthegalleywhereyousawme，Iwillinformyou。AfterIhadbeencuredofthewoundyougaveme，bytheCollegeapothecary，IwasattackedandcarriedoffbyapartyofSpanishtroops，whoclappedmeinprisoninBuenosAyres，attheverytimemysisterwassettingoutfromthere。IaskedleavetoreturntoRome，tothegeneralofmyOrder，whoappointedmechaplaintotheFrenchAmbassadoratConstantinople。
　　Ihadnotbeenaweekinmynewoffice，whenIhappenedtomeetoneeveningayoungIcoglan，extremelyhandsomeandwell-made。Theweatherwasveryhot;theyoungmanhadaninclinationtobathe。Itooktheopportunitytobathelikewise。IdidnotknowitwasacrimeforaChristiantobefoundnakedincompanywithayoungTurk。Acadiorderedmetoreceiveahundredblowsonthesolesofmyfeet，andsentmetothegalleys。Idonotbelievethattherewaseveranactofmoreflagrantinjustice。
　　ButIwouldfainknowhowmysistercametobeasculliontoaTransylvanianprince，whohastakenrefugeamongtheTurks？"
　　"ButhowhappensitthatIbeholdyouagain，mydearPangloss？"
　　saidCandide。
　　"Itistrue"，answeredPangloss，"yousawmehanged，thoughIoughtproperlytohavebeenburned;butyoumayremember，thatitrainedextremelyhardwhentheyweregoingtoroastme。Thestormwassoviolentthattheyfounditimpossibletolightthefire;sotheyhangedmebecausetheycoulddonobetter。Asurgeonpurchasedmybody，carriedithome，andpreparedtodissectme。Hebeganbymakingacrucialincisionfrommynaveltotheclavicle。ItisimpossibleforanyonetohavebeenmorelamelyhangedthanIhadbeen。Theexecutionerwasasubdeacon，andknewhowtoburnpeopleverywell，butasforhanging，hewasanoviceatit，beingquiteoutofpractice;thecordbeingwet，andnotslippingproperly，thenoosedidnotjoin。Inshort，Istillcontinuedtobreathe;
　　thecrucialincisionmademescreamtosuchadegree，thatmysurgeonfellflatuponhisback;
　　andimaginingitwastheDevilhewasdissecting，ranaway，andinhisfrighttumbleddownstairs。Hiswifehearingthenoise，flewfromthenextroom，andseeingmestretcheduponthetablewithmycrucialincision，wasstillmoreterrifiedthanherhusband，andfelluponhim。Whentheyhadalittlerecoveredthemselves，Iheardhersaytoherhusband，’Mydear，howcouldyouthinkofdissectingaheretic？Don’tyouknowthattheDevilisalwaysinthem？I’llrundirectlytoapriesttocomeanddrivetheevilspiritout。’I
　　trembledfromheadtofootathearinghertalkinthismanner，andexertedwhatlittlestrengthIhadlefttocryout，’Havemercyonme！’AtlengththePortuguesebarbertookcourage，sewedupmywound，andhiswifenursedme;andIwasuponmylegsinafortnight’stime。ThebarbergotmeaplacetobelackeytoaKnightofMalta，whowasgoingtoVenice;
　　butfindingmymasterhadnomoneytopaymemywages，IenteredintotheserviceofaVenetianmerchantandwentwithhimtoConstantinople。
　　"OnedayIhappenedtoenteramosque，whereIsawnoonebutanoldmanandaveryprettyyoungfemaledevotee，whowastellingherbeads;herneckwasquitebare，andinherbosomshehadabeautifulnosegayoftulips，roses，anemones，ranunculuses，hyacinths，andauriculas;sheletfallhernosegay。Iranimmediatelytotakeitup，andpresentedittoherwithamostrespectfulbow。Iwassolongindeliveringitthatthemanbegantobeangry;and，perceivingIwasaChristian，hecriedoutforhelp;theycarriedmebeforethecadi，whoorderedmetoreceiveonehundredbastinadoes，andsentmetothegalleys。IwaschainedintheverygalleyandtotheverysamebenchwiththeBaron。OnboardthisgalleytherewerefouryoungmenbelongingtoMarseilles，fiveNeapolitanpriests，andtwomonksofCorfu，whotoldusthatthelikeadventureshappenedeveryday。TheBaronpretendedthathehadbeenworseusedthanmyself;andIinsistedthattherewasfarlessharmintakingupanosegay，andputtingitintoawoman’sbosom，thantobefoundstarknakedwithayoungIcoglan。Wewerecontinuallywhipped，andreceivedtwentylashesadaywithaheavythong，whentheconcatenationofsublunaryeventsbroughtyouonboardourgalleytoransomusfromslavery。"
　　"Well，mydearPangloss"，saidCandidetohim，"whenYouwerehanged，dissected，whipped，andtuggingattheoar，didyoucontinuetothinkthateverythinginthisworldhappensforthebest？"
　　"Ihavealwaysabidedbymyfirstopinion"，answeredPangloss;
　　"for，afterall，Iamaphilosopher，anditwouldnotbecomemetoretractmysentiments;especiallyasLeibnitzcouldnotbeinthewrong：andthatpreestablishedharmonyisthefinestthingintheworld，aswellasaplenumandthemateriasubtilis。"
　　chapter29CHAPTERXXIX
　　INWHATMANNERCANDIDEFOUNDMISSCUNEGONDE
　　ANDTHEOLDWOMANAGAIN
　　WhileCandide，theBaron，Pangloss，Martin，andCacambo，wererelatingtheirseveraladventures，andreasoningonthecontingentornoncontingenteventsofthisworld;oncausesandeffects;onmoralandphysicalevil;onfreewillandnecessity;andontheconsolationthatmaybefeltbyapersonwhenaslaveandchainedtoanoarinaTurkishgalley，theyarrivedatthehouseoftheTransylvanianprinceontheshoresofthePropontis。Thefirstobjectstheybeheldthere，wereMissCunegondeandtheoldwoman，whowerehangingsometableclothsonalinetodry。
　　TheBaronturnedpaleatthesight。EventhetenderCandide，thataffectionatelover，uponseeinghisfairCunegondeallsunburned，withblearyeyes，awitheredneck，wrinkledfaceandarms，allcoveredwitharedscurf，startedbackwithhorror;but，notwithstanding，recoveringhimself，headvancedtowardsheroutofgoodmanners。SheembracedCandideandherbrother;theyembracedtheoldwoman，andCandideransomedthemboth。
　　TherewasasmallfarmintheneighborhoodwhichtheoldwomanproposedtoCandidetomakeshiftwithtillthecompanyshouldmeetwithamorefavorabledestiny。Cunegonde，notknowingthatshewasgrownugly，asnoonehadinformedherofit，remindedCandideofhispromiseinsoperemptoryamanner，thatthesimpleladdidnotdaretorefuseher;hethenacquaintedtheBaronthathewasgoingtomarryhissister。
　　"Iwillneversuffer"，saidtheBaron，"mysistertobeguiltyofanactionsoderogatorytoherbirthandfamily;norwillIbearthisinsolenceonyourpart。No，IneverwillbereproachedthatmynephewsarenotqualifiedforthefirstecclesiasticaldignitiesinGermany;norshallasisterofmineeverbethewifeofanypersonbelowtherankofBaronoftheEmpire。"
　　Cunegondeflungherselfatherbrother’sfeet，andbedewedthemwithhertears;buthestillcontinuedinflexible。
　　"Thoufoolishfellow，saidCandide，"haveInotdeliveredtheefromthegalleys，paidthyransom，andthysister’s，too，whowasascullion，andisveryugly，andyetcondescendtomarryher？andshaltthoupretendtoopposethematch！IfIweretolistenonlytothedictatesofmyanger，I
　　shouldkilltheeagain。"
　　"Thoumayestkillmeagain"，saidtheBaron;"butthoushaltnotmarrymysisterwhileIamliving。"
　　chapter30CHAPTERXXX
　　CONCLUSION
　　Candidehad，intruth，nogreatinclinationtomarryMissCunegonde;buttheextremeimpertinenceoftheBarondeterminedhimtoconcludethematch;
　　andCunegondepressedhimsowarmly，thathecouldnotrecant。HeconsultedPangloss，Martin，andthefaithfulCacambo。
　　Panglosscomposedafinememorial，bywhichheprovedthattheBaronhadnorightoverhissister;andthatshemight，accordingtoallthelawsoftheEmpire，marryCandidewiththelefthand。MartinconcludedtothrowtheBaronintothesea;CacambodecidedthathemustbedeliveredtotheTurkishcaptainandsenttothegalleys;afterwhichheshouldbeconveyedbythefirstshiptotheFatherGeneralatRome。Thisadvicewasfoundtobegood;theoldwomanapprovedofit，andnotasyllablewassaidtohissister;thebusinesswasexecutedforalittlemoney;andtheyhadthepleasureoftrickingaJesuit，andpunishingtheprideofaGermanbaron。
　　Itwasaltogethernaturaltoimagine，thatafterundergoingsomanydisasters，Candide，marriedtohismistressandlivingwiththephilosopherPangloss，thephilosopherMartin，theprudentCacambo，andtheoldwoman，havingbesidesbroughthomesomanydiamondsfromthecountryoftheancientIncas，wouldleadthemostagreeablelifeintheworld。ButhehadbeensorobbedbytheJews，thathehadnothingleftbuthislittlefarm;
　　hiswife，everydaygrowingmoreandmoreugly，becameheadstrongandinsupportable;theoldwomanwasinfirm，andmoreill-naturedyetthanCunegonde。Cacambo，whoworkedinthegarden，andcarriedtheproduceofittosellinConstantinople，wasabovehislabor，andcursedhisfate。
　　PanglossdespairedofmakingafigureinanyoftheGermanuniversities。
　　AndastoMartin，hewasfirmlypersuadedthatapersonisequallyill-situatedeverywhere。Hetookthingswithpatience。
　　Candide，Martin，andPanglossdisputedsometimesaboutmetaphysicsandmorality。Boatswereoftenseenpassingunderthewindowsofthefarmladenwitheffendis，bashaws，andcadis，thatweregoingintobanishmenttoLemnos，MytileneandErzerum。Andothercadis，bashaws，andeffendiswereseencomingbacktosucceedtheplaceoftheexiles，andweredrivenoutintheirturns。Theysawseveralheadscuriouslystuckuponpoles，andcarriedaspresentstotheSublimePorte。Suchsightsgaveoccasiontofrequentdissertations;andwhennodisputeswereinprogress，theirksomenesswassoexcessivethattheoldwomanventuredonedaytotellthem：
　　"Iwouldbegladtoknowwhichisworst，toberavishedahundredtimesbyNegropirates，tohaveonebuttockcutoff，torunthegauntletamongtheBulgarians，tobewhippedandhangedatanauto-da-fe，tobedissected，tobechainedtoanoarinagalley;and，inshort，toexperienceallthemiseriesthroughwhicheveryoneofushathpassed，ortoremainheredoingnothing？"
　　"This"，saidCandide，"isagrandquestion。"
　　Thisdiscoursegavebirthtonewreflections，andMartinespeciallyconcludedthatmanwasborntoliveintheconvulsionsofdisquiet，orinthelethargyofidleness。ThoughCandidedidnotabsolutelyagreetothis，yethedidnotdetermineanythingonthathead。Panglossavowedthathehadundergonedreadfulsufferings;buthavingoncemaintainedthateverythingwentonaswellaspossible，hestillmaintainedit，andatthesametimebelievednothingofit。
　　TherewasonethingwhichmorethaneverconfirmedMartininhisdetestableprinciples，madeCandidehesitate，andembarrassedPangloss，whichwasthearrivalofPacquetteandBrotherGirofleeonedayattheirfarm。Thiscouplehadbeenintheutmostdistress;theyhadveryspeedilymadeawaywiththeirthreethousandpiastres;theyhadparted，beenreconciled;quarreledagain，beenthrownintoprison;
　　hadmadetheirescape，andatlastBrotherGirofleehadturnedTurk。
　　Pacquettestillcontinuedtofollowhertrade;butshegotlittleornothingbyit。
　　"Iforesawverywell"，saidMartintoCandide"thatyourpresentswouldsoonbesquandered，andonlymakethemmoremiserable。YouandCacambohavespentmillionsofpiastres，andyetyouarenotmorehappythanBrotherGirofleeandPacquette。"
　　"Ah！"saidPanglosstoPacquette，"itisHeaventhathasbroughtyouhereamongus，mypoorchild！Doyouknowthatyouhavecostmethetipofmynose，oneeye，andoneear？Whatahandsomeshapeishere！
　　andwhatisthisworld！"
　　Thisnewadventureengagedthemmoredeeplythaneverinphilosophicaldisputations。
　　IntheneighborhoodlivedafamousdervishwhopassedforthebestphilosopherinTurkey;theywenttoconsulthim：Pangloss，whowastheirspokesman，addressedhimthus：
　　"Master，wecometoentreatyoutotelluswhysostrangeananimalasmanhasbeenformed？"
　　"Whydoyoutroubleyourheadaboutit？"saidthedervish;
　　"isitanybusinessofyours？"
　　"But，ReverendFather"，saidCandide，"thereisahorribledealofevilontheearth。"
　　"Whatsignifiesit"，saidthedervish，"whetherthereisevilorgood？WhenHisHighnesssendsashiptoEgyptdoeshetroublehisheadwhethertheratsinthevesselareattheireaseornot？"
　　"Whatmustthenbedone？"saidPangloss。
　　"Besilent"，answeredthedervish。
　　"Iflatteredmyself"，repliedPangloss，"tohavereasonedalittlewithyouonthecausesandeffects，onthebestofpossibleworlds，theoriginofevil，thenatureofthesoul，andapre-establishedharmony。"
　　Atthesewordsthedervishshutthedoorintheirfaces。
　　Duringthisconversation，newswasspreadabroadthattwoviziersofthebenchandthemuftihadjustbeenstrangledatConstantinople，andseveraloftheirfriendsimpaled。Thiscatastrophemadeagreatnoiseforsomehours。Pangloss，Candide，andMartin，astheywerereturningtothelittlefarm，metwithagood-lookingoldman，whowastakingtheairathisdoor，underanalcoveformedoftheboughsoforangetrees。
　　Pangloss，whowasasinquisitiveashewasdisputative，askedhimwhatwasthenameofthemuftiwhowaslatelystrangled。
　　"Icannottell"，answeredthegoodoldman;"Ineverknewthenameofanymufti，orvizierbreathing。Iamentirelyignorantoftheeventyouspeakof;I
　　presumethatingeneralsuchasareconcernedinpublicaffairssometimescometoamiserableend;andthattheydeserveit：butIneverinquirewhatisdoingatConstantinople;Iamcontentedwithsendingthithertheproduceofmygarden，whichIcultivatewithmyownhands。"
　　Aftersayingthesewords，heinvitedthestrangerstocomeintohishouse。
　　Histwodaughtersandtwosonspresentedthemwithdiverssortsofsherbetoftheirownmaking;besidescaymac，heightenedwiththepeelsofcandiedcitrons，oranges，lemons，pineapples，pistachionuts，andMochacoffeeunadulteratedwiththebadcoffeeofBataviaortheAmericanislands。AfterwhichthetwodaughtersofthisgoodMussulmanperfumedthebeardsofCandide，Pangloss，andMartin。
　　"Youmustcertainlyhaveavastestate"，saidCandidetotheTurk。
　　"Ihavenomorethantwentyacresofground"，hereplied，"thewholeofwhichIcultivatemyselfwiththehelpofmychildren;
　　andourlaborkeepsofffromusthreegreatevils-idleness，vice，andwant。"
　　Candide，ashewasreturninghome，madeprofoundreflectionsontheTurk’sdiscourse。
　　"Thisgoodoldman"，saidhetoPanglossandMartin，"appearstometohavechosenforhimselfalotmuchpreferabletothatofthesixKingswithwhomwehadthehonortosup。"
　　"Humangrandeur"，saidPangloss，"isverydangerous，ifwebelievethetestimoniesofalmostallphilosophers;forwefindEglon，KingofMoab，wasassassinatedbyAod;Absalomwashangedbythehairofhishead，andrunthroughwiththreedarts;KingNadab，sonofJeroboam，wasslainbyBaaza;KingElabyZimri;OkosiasbyJehu;AthaliahbyJehoiada;theKingsJehooiakim，Jeconiah，andZedekiah，wereledintocaptivity：IneednottellyouwhatwasthefateofCroesus，Astyages，Darius，DionysiusofSyracuse，Pyrrhus，Perseus，Hannibal，Jugurtha，Ariovistus，Caesar，Pompey，Nero，Otho，Vitellius，Domitian，RichardIIofEngland，EdwardII，HenryVI，RichardIll，MaryStuart，CharlesI，thethreeHenrysofFrance，andtheEmperorHenryIV。"
　　"Neitherneedyoutellme"，saidCandide，"thatwemusttakecareofourgarden。"
　　"Youareintheright"，saidPangloss;"forwhenmanwasputintothegardenofEden，itwaswithanintenttodressit;andthisprovesthatmanwasnotborntobeidle。"
　　"Workthenwithoutdisputing"，saidMartin;"itistheonlywaytorenderlifesupportable。"
　　Thelittlesociety，oneandall，enteredintothislaudabledesignandsetthemselvestoexerttheirdifferenttalents。Thelittlepieceofgroundyieldedthemaplentifulcrop。Cunegondeindeedwasveryugly，butshebecameanexcellenthandatpastrywork：Pacquetteembroidered;theoldwomanhadthecareofthelinen。Therewasnone，downtoBrotherGiroflee，butdidsomeservice;hewasaverygoodcarpenter，andbecameanhonestman。
　　PanglossusednowandthentosaytoCandide：
　　"Thereisaconcatenationofalleventsinthebestofpossibleworlds;for，inshort，hadyounotbeenkickedoutofafinecastlefortheloveofMissCunegonde;hadyounotbeenputintotheInquisition;
　　hadyounottraveledoverAmericaonfoot;hadyounotruntheBaronthroughthebody;andhadyounotlostallyoursheep，whichyoubroughtfromthegoodcountryofElDorado，youwouldnothavebeenheretoeatpreservedcitronsandpistachionuts。"
　　"Excellentlyobserved"，answeredCandide;"butwemustcultivateourgarden。"