However，tosatisfytheirscruples，Itooktheonlycourseinmypower。WhilstIwasinWalesIhadreceivedvariouslettersfromyoungfriendstheseIproduced，forIcarriedthemconstantlyinmypocket，being，indeed，bythistimealmosttheonlyrelicsofmypersonalencumbrances（exceptingtheclothesIwore）whichIhadnotinonewayorotherdisposedof。MostoftheseletterswerefromtheEarlof-，whowasatthattimemychief（orratheronly）
confidentialfriend。TheselettersweredatedfromEton。IhadalsosomefromtheMarquisof-，hisfather，who，thoughabsorbedinagriculturalpursuits，yethavingbeenanEtonianhimself，andasgoodascholarasanoblemanneedstobe，stillretainedanaffectionforclassicalstudiesandforyouthfulscholars。Hehadaccordingly，fromthetimethatIwasfifteen，correspondedwithme;
sometimesuponthegreatimprovementswhichhehadmadeorwasmeditatinginthecountiesofM-andSl-sinceIhadbeenthere，sometimesuponthemeritsofaLatinpoet，andatothertimessuggestingsubjectstomeonwhichhewishedmetowriteverses。
Onreadingtheletters，oneofmyJewishfriendsagreedtofurnishmewithtwoorthreehundredpoundsonmypersonalsecurity，providedIcouldpersuadetheyoungEarl——whowas，bytheway，notolderthanmyself——toguaranteethepaymentonourcomingofage;
theJew’sfinalobjectbeing，asInowsuppose，notthetriflingprofithecouldexpecttomakebyme，buttheprospectofestablishingaconnectionwithmynoblefriend，whoseimmenseexpectationswerewellknowntohim。InpursuanceofthisproposalonthepartoftheJew，abouteightorninedaysafterIhadreceivedthe10pounds，IpreparedtogodowntoEton。Nearly3
poundsofthemoneyIhadgiventomymoney-lendingfriend，onhisallegingthatthestampsmustbebought，inorderthatthewritingsmightbepreparingwhilstIwasawayfromLondon。Ithoughtinmyheartthathewaslying;butIdidnotwishtogivehimanyexcuseforcharginghisowndelaysuponme。AsmallersumIhadgiventomyfriendtheattorney（whowasconnectedwiththemoney-lendersastheirlawyer），towhich，indeed，hewasentitledforhisunfurnishedlodgings。AboutfifteenshillingsIhademployedinre-establishing（thoughinaveryhumbleway）mydress。OftheremainderIgaveonequartertoAnn，meaningonmyreturntohavedividedwithherwhatevermightremain。Thesearrangementsmade，soonaftersixo’clockonadarkwintereveningIsetoff，accompaniedbyAnn，towardsPiccadilly;foritwasmyintentiontogodownasfarasSalthillontheBathorBristolmail。Ourcourselaythroughapartofthetownwhichhasnowalldisappeared，sothatIcannolongerretraceitsancientboundaries——SwallowStreet，Ithinkitwascalled。Havingtimeenoughbeforeus，however，weboreawaytotheleftuntilwecameintoGoldenSquare;there，nearthecornerofSherrardStreet，wesatdown，notwishingtopartinthetumultandblazeofPiccadilly。Ihadtoldherofmyplanssometimebefore，andInowassuredheragainthatsheshouldshareinmygoodfortune，ifImetwithany，andthatIwouldneverforsakeherassoonasIhadpowertoprotecther。ThisIfullyintended，asmuchfrominclinationasfromasenseofduty;forsettingasidegratitude，whichinanycasemusthavemademeherdebtorforlife，Ilovedherasaffectionatelyasifshehadbeenmysister;andatthismomentwithsevenfoldtenderness，frompityatwitnessingherextremedejection。Ihadapparentlymostreasonfordejection，becauseIwasleavingthesaviourofmylife;yetI，consideringtheshockmyhealthhadreceived，wascheerfulandfullofhope。She，onthecontrary，whowaspartingwithonewhohadhadlittlemeansofservingher，exceptbykindnessandbrotherlytreatment，wasovercomebysorrow;sothat，whenIkissedheratourfinalfarewell，sheputherarmsaboutmyneckandweptwithoutspeakingaword。Ihopedtoreturninaweekatfarthest，andIagreedwithherthatonthefifthnightfromthat，andeverynightafterwards，shewouldwaitformeatsixo’clocknearthebottomofGreatTitchfieldStreet，whichhadbeenourcustomaryhaven，asitwere，ofrendezvous，topreventourmissingeachotherinthegreatMediterraneanofOxfordStreet。ThisandothermeasuresofprecautionItook;oneonlyIforgot。Shehadeithernevertoldme，or（asamatterofnogreatinterest）Ihadforgottenhersurname。
Itisageneralpractice，indeed，withgirlsofhumblerankinherunhappycondition，not（asnovel-readingwomenofhigherpretensions）tostylethemselvesMissDouglas，MissMontague，&c。，butsimplybytheirChristiannames——Mary，Jane，Frances，&c。Hersurname，asthesurestmeansoftracingherhereafter，Ioughtnowtohaveinquired;butthetruthis，havingnoreasontothinkthatourmeetingcould，inconsequenceofashortinterruption，bemoredifficultoruncertainthanithadbeenforsomanyweeks，Ihadscarcelyforamomentadvertedtoitasnecessary，orplaceditamongstmymemorandaagainstthispartinginterview;andmyfinalanxietiesbeingspentincomfortingherwithhopes，andinpressinguponherthenecessityofgettingsomemedicinesforaviolentcoughandhoarsenesswithwhichshewastroubled，Iwhollyforgotituntilitwastoolatetorecallher。
Itwaspasteighto’clockwhenIreachedtheGloucesterCoffee-
house，andtheBristolmailbeingonthepointofgoingoff，I
mountedontheoutside。Thefinefluentmotion{5}ofthismailsoonlaidmeasleep：itissomewhatremarkablethatthefirsteasyorrefreshingsleepwhichIhadenjoyedforsomemonths，wasontheoutsideofamail-coach——abedwhichatthisdayIfindratheranuneasyone。Connectedwiththissleepwasalittleincidentwhichserved，ashundredsofothersdidatthattime，toconvincemehoweasilyamanwhohasneverbeeninanygreatdistressmaypassthroughlifewithoutknowing，inhisownpersonatleast，anythingofthepossiblegoodnessofthehumanheart——or，asImustaddwithasigh，ofitspossiblevileness。SothickacurtainofMANNERSisdrawnoverthefeaturesandexpressionofmen’sNATURES，thattotheordinaryobserverthetwoextremities，andtheinfinitefieldofvarietieswhichliebetweenthem，areallconfounded;thevastandmultitudinouscompassoftheirseveralharmoniesreducedtothemeagreoutlineofdifferencesexpressedinthegamutoralphabetofelementarysounds。Thecasewasthis：forthefirstfourorfivemilesfromLondonIannoyedmyfellow-passengerontheroofbyoccasionallyfallingagainsthimwhenthecoachgavealurchtohis：
side;andindeed，iftheroadhadbeenlesssmoothandlevelthanitis，Ishouldhavefallenofffromweakness。Ofthisannoyancehecomplainedheavily，asperhaps，inthesamecircumstances，mostpeoplewould;heexpressedhiscomplaint，however，moremoroselythantheoccasionseemedtowarrant，andifIhadpartedwithhimatthatmomentIshouldhavethoughtofhim（ifIhadconsidereditworthwhiletothinkofhimatall）asasurlyandalmostbrutalfellow。However，IwasconsciousthatIhadgivenhimsomecauseforcomplaint，andthereforeIapologizedtohim，andassuredhimI
woulddowhatIcouldtoavoidfallingasleepforthefuture;andatthesametime，inasfewwordsaspossible，IexplainedtohimthatIwasillandinaweakstatefromlongsuffering，andthatIcouldnotaffordatthattimetotakeaninsideplace。Thisman’smannerchanged，uponhearingthisexplanation，inaninstant;andwhenI
nextwokeforaminutefromthenoiseandlightsofHounslow（forinspiteofmywishesandeffortsIhadfallenasleepagainwithintwominutesfromthetimeIhadspokentohim）Ifoundthathehadputhisarmroundmetoprotectmefromfallingoff，andfortherestofmyjourneyhebehavedtomewiththegentlenessofawoman，sothatatlengthIalmostlayinhisarms;andthiswasthemorekind，ashecouldnothaveknownthatIwasnotgoingthewholewaytoBathorBristol。Unfortunately，indeed，IDIDgoratherfartherthanI
intended，forsogenialandsorefreshingwasmysleep，thatthenexttimeafterleavingHounslowthatIfullyawokewasuponthesuddenpullingupofthemail（possiblyatapost-office），andoninquiryIfoundthatwehadreachedMaidenhead——sixorsevenmiles，Ithink，aheadofSalthill。HereIalighted，andforthehalf-
minutethatthemailstoppedIwasentreatedbymyfriendlycompanion（who，fromthetransientglimpseIhadhadofhiminPiccadilly，seemedtometobeagentleman’sbutler，orpersonofthatrank）togotobedwithoutdelay。ThisIpromised，thoughwithnointentionofdoingso;andinfactIimmediatelysetforward，orratherbackward，onfoot。Itmustthenhavebeennearlymidnight，butsoslowlydidIcreepalongthatIheardaclockinacottagestrikefourbeforeIturneddownthelanefromSloughtoEton。Theairandthesleephadbothrefreshedme;butIwaswearynevertheless。Irememberathought（obviousenough，andwhichhasbeenprettilyexpressedbyaRomanpoet）whichgavemesomeconsolationatthatmomentundermypoverty。TherehadbeensometimebeforeamurdercommittedonornearHounslowHeath。IthinkI
cannotbemistakenwhenIsaythatthenameofthemurderedpersonwasSTEELE，andthathewastheownerofalavenderplantationinthatneighbourhood。EverystepofmyprogresswasbringingmenearertotheHeath，anditnaturallyoccurredtomethatIandtheaccusedmurderer，ifhewerethatnightabroad，mightateveryinstantbeunconsciouslyapproachingeachotherthroughthedarkness;inwhichcase，saidI——supposingI，insteadofbeing（asindeedIam）littlebetterthananoutcast-
Lordofmylearning，andnolandbeside-
were，likemyfriendLord-，heirbygeneralreputeto70，000poundsperannum，whatapanicshouldIbeunderatthismomentaboutmythroat！Indeed，itwasnotlikelythatLord——shouldeverbeinmysituation。Butnevertheless，thespiritoftheremarkremainstrue——
thatvastpowerandpossessionsmakeamanshamefullyafraidofdying;andIamconvincedthatmanyofthemostintrepidadventurers，who，byfortunatelybeingpoor，enjoythefulluseoftheirnaturalcourage，would，ifattheveryinstantofgoingintoactionnewswerebroughttothemthattheyhadunexpectedlysucceededtoanestateinEnglandof50，000poundsa-year，feeltheirdisliketobulletsconsiderablysharpened，{6}andtheireffortsatperfectequanimityandself-possessionproportionablydifficult。Sotrueitis，inthelanguageofawisemanwhoseownexperiencehadmadehimacquaintedwithbothfortunes，thatrichesarebetterfittedToslackenvirtue，andabateheredge，Thantempthertodooughtmaymeritpraise。
ParadiseRegained。
Idallywithmysubjectbecause，tomyself，theremembranceofthesetimesisprofoundlyinteresting。Butmyreadershallnothaveanyfurthercausetocomplain，forInowhastentoitsclose。IntheroadbetweenSloughandEtonIfellasleep，andjustasthemorningbegantodawnIwasawakenedbythevoiceofamanstandingovermeandsurveyingme。Iknownotwhathewas：hewasanill-lookingfellow，butnotthereforeofnecessityanill-meaningfellow;or，ifhewere，Isupposehethoughtthatnopersonsleepingout-of-doorsinwintercouldbeworthrobbing。Inwhichconclusion，however，asitregardedmyself，Ibegtoassurehim，ifheshouldbeamongmyreaders，thathewasmistaken。Afteraslightremarkhepassedon;
andIwasnotsorryathisdisturbance，asitenabledmetopassthroughEtonbeforepeopleweregenerallyup。Thenighthadbeenheavyandlowering，buttowardsthemorningithadchangedtoaslightfrost，andthegroundandthetreeswerenowcoveredwithrime。IslippedthroughEtonunobserved;washedmyself，andasfaraspossibleadjustedmydress，atalittlepublic-houseinWindsor;
andabouteighto’clockwentdowntowardsPote’s。OnmyroadImetsomejuniorboys，ofwhomImadeinquiries。AnEtonianisalwaysagentleman;and，inspiteofmyshabbyhabiliments，theyansweredmecivilly。MyfriendLord——wasgonetotheUniversityof。"Ibiomniseffususlabor！"Ihad，however，otherfriendsatEton;butitisnottoallthatwearthatnameinprosperitythatamaniswillingtopresenthimselfindistress。Onrecollectingmyself，however，IaskedfortheEarlofD-，towhom（thoughmyacquaintancewithhimwasnotsointimateaswithsomeothers）Ishouldnothaveshrunkfrompresentingmyselfunderanycircumstances。HewasstillatEton，thoughIbelieveonthewingforCambridge。Icalled，wasreceivedkindly，andaskedtobreakfast。
Hereletmestopforamomenttocheckmyreaderfromanyerroneousconclusions。BecauseIhavehadoccasionincidentallytospeakofvariouspatricianfriends，itmustnotbesupposedthatIhavemyselfanypretensiontorankandhighblood。IthankGodthatI
havenot。IamthesonofaplainEnglishmerchant，esteemedduringhislifeforhisgreatintegrity，andstronglyattachedtoliterarypursuits（indeed，hewashimself，anonymously，anauthor）。Ifhehadliveditwasexpectedthathewouldhavebeenveryrich;butdyingprematurely，heleftnomorethanabout30，000poundsamongstsevendifferentclaimants。MymotherImaymentionwithhonour，asstillmorehighlygifted;forthoughunpretendingtothenameandhonoursofaLITERARYwoman，Ishallpresumetocallher（whatmanyliterarywomenarenot）anINTELLECTUALwoman;andIbelievethatifeverherlettersshouldbecollectedandpublished，theywouldbethoughtgenerallytoexhibitasmuchstrongandmasculinesense，deliveredinaspure"motherEnglish，"racyandfreshwithidiomaticgraces，asanyinourlanguage——hardlyexceptingthoseofLadyM。W。
Montague。Thesearemyhonoursofdescent，Ihavenoother;andI
havethankedGodsincerelythatIhavenot，because，inmyjudgment，astationwhichraisesamantooeminentlyabovethelevelofhisfellow-creaturesisnotthemostfavourabletomoralortointellectualqualities。
LordD-placedbeforemeamostmagnificentbreakfast。Itwasreallyso;butinmyeyesitseemedtreblymagnificent，frombeingthefirstregularmeal，thefirst"goodman’stable，"thatIhadsatedowntoformonths。Strangetosay，however，Icouldscarceeatanything。OnthedaywhenIfirstreceivedmy10poundbank-
noteIhadgonetoabaker’sshopandboughtacoupleofrolls;thisveryshopIhadtwomonthsorsixweeksbeforesurveyedwithaneagernessofdesirewhichitwasalmosthumiliatingtometorecollect。IrememberedthestoryaboutOtway，andfearedthattheremightbedangerineatingtoorapidly。ButIhadnoneedforalarm;myappetitewasquitesunk，andIbecamesickbeforeIhadeatenhalfofwhatIhadbought。ThiseffectfromeatingwhatapproachedtoamealIcontinuedtofeelforweeks;or，whenIdidnotexperienceanynausea，partofwhatIatewasrejected，sometimeswithacidity，sometimesimmediatelyandwithoutanyacidity。Onthepresentoccasion，atLordD-’stable，Ifoundmyselfnotatallbetterthanusual，andinthemidstofluxuriesI
hadnoappetite。Ihad，however，unfortunately，atalltimesacravingforwine;Iexplainedmysituation，therefore，toLordD-，andgavehimashortaccountofmylatesufferings，atwhichheexpressedgreatcompassion，andcalledforwine。Thisgavemeamomentaryreliefandpleasure;andonalloccasionswhenIhadanopportunityIneverfailedtodrinkwine，whichIworshippedthenasIhavesinceworshippedopium。Iamconvinced，however，thatthisindulgenceinwinecontributedtostrengthenmymalady，forthetoneofmystomachwasapparentlyquitesunk，andbyabetterregimenitmightsooner，andperhapseffectually，havebeenrevived。IhopethatitwasnotfromthisloveofwinethatIlingeredintheneighbourhoodofmyEtonfriends;IpersuadedmyselfthenthatitwasfromreluctancetoaskofLordD-，onwhomIwasconsciousIhadnotsufficientclaims，theparticularserviceinquestofwhichI
hadcomedowntoEton。Iwas，howeverunwillingtolosemyjourney，and——Iaskedit。LordD-，whosegoodnaturewasunbounded，andwhich，inregardtomyself，hadbeenmeasuredratherbyhiscompassionperhapsformycondition，andhisknowledgeofmyintimacywithsomeofhisrelatives，thanbyanover-rigorousinquiryintotheextentofmyowndirectclaims，faltered，nevertheless，atthisrequest。Heacknowledgedthathedidnotliketohaveanydealingswithmoney-lenders，andfearedlestsuchatransactionmightcometotheearsofhisconnexions。Moreover，hedoubtedwhetherHISsignature，whoseexpectationsweresomuchmoreboundedthanthoseof-，wouldavailwithmyunchristianfriends。
However，hedidnotwish，asitseemed，tomortifymebyanabsoluterefusal;forafteralittleconsiderationhepromised，undercertainconditionswhichhepointedout，togivehissecurity。LordD-wasatthistimenoteighteenyearsofage;butIhaveoftendoubted，onrecollectingsincethegoodsenseandprudencewhichonthisoccasionhemingledwithsomuchurbanityofmanner（anurbanitywhichinhimworethegraceofyouthfulsincerity），whetheranystatesman——theoldestandthemostaccomplishedindiplomacy——couldhaveacquittedhimselfbetterunderthesamecircumstances。Mostpeople，indeed，cannotbeaddressedonsuchabusinesswithoutsurveyingyouwithlooksasaustereandunpropitiousasthoseofaSaracen’shead。
Recomfortedbythispromise，whichwasnotquiteequaltothebestbutfarabovetheworstthatIhadpicturedtomyselfaspossible，I
returnedinaWindsorcoachtoLondonthreedaysafterIhadquittedit。AndnowIcometotheendofmystory。TheJewsdidnotapproveofLordD-’sterms;whethertheywouldintheendhaveaccededtothem，andwereonlyseekingtimeformakingdueinquiries，Iknownot;butmanydelaysweremade，timepassedon，thesmallfragmentofmybank-notehadjustmeltedaway，andbeforeanyconclusioncouldhavebeenputtothebusinessImusthaverelapsedintomyformerstateofwretchedness。Suddenly，however，atthiscrisis，anopeningwasmade，almostbyaccident，forreconciliationwithmyfriends;IquittedLondoninhasteforaremotepartofEngland;aftersometimeIproceededtotheuniversity，anditwasnotuntilmanymonthshadpassedawaythatI
haditinmypoweragaintorevisitthegroundwhichhadbecomesointerestingtome，andtothisdayremainsso，asthechiefsceneofmyyouthfulsufferings。
Meantime，whathadbecomeofpoorAnn？ForherIhavereservedmyconcludingwords。Accordingtoouragreement，Isoughtherdaily，andwaitedforhereverynight，solongasIstayedinLondon，atthecornerofTitchfieldStreet。Iinquiredforherofeveryonewhowaslikelytoknowher，andduringthelasthoursofmystayinLondonIputintoactivityeverymeansoftracingherthatmyknowledgeofLondonsuggestedandthelimitedextentofmypowermadepossible。ThestreetwhereshehadlodgedIknew，butnotthehouse;andIrememberedatlastsomeaccountwhichshehadgivenmeofill-treatmentfromherlandlord，whichmadeitprobablethatshehadquittedthoselodgingsbeforeweparted。Shehadfewacquaintances;mostpeople，besides，thoughtthattheearnestnessofmyinquiriesarosefrommotiveswhichmovedtheirlaughterortheirslightregard;andothers，thinkingIwasinchaseofagirlwhohadrobbedmeofsometrifles，werenaturallyandexcusablyindisposedtogivemeanycluetoher，ifindeedtheyhadanytogive。Finallyasmydespairingresource，onthedayIleftLondonIputintothehandsoftheonlypersonwho（Iwassure）mustknowAnnbysight，fromhavingbeenincompanywithusonceortwice，anaddressto-，in-shire，atthattimetheresidenceofmyfamily。ButtothishourIhaveneverheardasyllableabouther。This，amongstsuchtroublesasmostmenmeetwithinthislife，hasbeenmyheaviestaffliction。Ifshelived，doubtlesswemusthavebeensometimeinsearchofeachother，attheverysamemoment，throughthemightylabyrinthsofLondon;perhapsevenwithinafewfeetofeachother——
abarriernowiderthanaLondonstreetoftenamountingintheendtoaseparationforeternity！DuringsomeyearsIhopedthatsheDIDlive;andIsupposethat，intheliteralandunrhetoricaluseofthewordMYRIAD，ImaysaythatonmydifferentvisitstoLondonI
havelookedintomany，manymyriadsoffemalefaces，inthehopeofmeetingher。Ishouldknowheragainamongstathousand，ifIsawherforamoment;forthoughnothandsome，shehadasweetexpressionofcountenanceandapeculiarandgracefulcarriageofthehead。Isoughther，Ihavesaid，inhope。Soitwasforyears;
butnowIshouldfeartoseeher;andhercough，whichgrievedmewhenIpartedwithher，isnowmyconsolation。Inowwishtoseehernolonger;butthinkofher，moregladly，asonelongsincelaidinthegrave——inthegrave，Iwouldhope，ofaMagdalen;takenaway，beforeinjuriesandcrueltyhadblottedoutandtransfiguredheringenuousnature，orthebrutalitiesofruffianshadcompletedtheruintheyhadbegun。
[Theremainderofthisveryinterestingarticlewillbegiveninthenextnumber。——ED。]
PARTII
FromtheLondonMagazineforOctober1821。
Sothen，OxfordStreet，stony-heartedstep-mother！thouthatlistenesttothesighsoforphansanddrinkestthetearsofchildren，atlengthIwasdismissedfromthee;thetimewascomeatlastthatInomoreshouldpaceinanguishthynever-endingterraces，nomoreshoulddreamandwakeincaptivitytothepangsofhunger。Successorstoomany，tomyselfandAnn，havedoubtlesssincethentroddeninourfootsteps，inheritorsofourcalamities;
otherorphansthanAnnhavesighed;tearshavebeenshedbyotherchildren;andthou，OxfordStreet，hastsincedoubtlessechoedtothegroansofinnumerablehearts。Formyself，however，thestormwhichIhadoutlivedseemedtohavebeenthepledgeofalongfair-
weather——theprematuresufferingswhichIhadpaiddowntohavebeenacceptedasaransomformanyyearstocome，asapriceoflongimmunityfromsorrow;andifagainIwalkedinLondonasolitaryandcontemplativeman（asoftentimesIdid），Iwalkedforthemostpartinserenityandpeaceofmind。AndalthoughitistruethatthecalamitiesofmynoviciateinLondonhadstruckrootsodeeplyinmybodilyconstitution，thatafterwardstheyshotupandflourishedafresh，andgrewintoanoxiousumbragethathasovershadowedanddarkenedmylatteryears，yetthesesecondassaultsofsufferingweremetwithafortitudemoreconfirmed，withtheresourcesofamaturerintellect，andwithalleviationsfromsympathisingaffection——howdeepandtender！
Thus，however，withwhatsoeveralleviations，yearsthatwerefarasunderwereboundtogetherbysubtlelinksofsufferingderivedfromacommonroot。AndhereinInoticeaninstanceoftheshort-
sightednessofhumandesires，thatoftentimesonmoonlightnights，duringmyfirstmournfulabodeinLondon，myconsolationwas（ifsuchitcouldbethought）togazefromOxfordStreetupeveryavenueinsuccessionwhichpiercesthroughtheheartofMarylebonetothefieldsandthewoods;forTHAT，saidI，travellingwithmyeyesupthelongvistaswhichlaypartinlightandpartinshade，"THATistheroadtotheNorth，andthereforeto，andifIhadthewingsofadove，THATwayIwouldflyforcomfort。"ThusIsaid，andthusI
wished，inmyblindness。Yeteveninthatverynorthernregionitwas，eveninthatveryvalley，nay，inthatveryhousetowhichmyerroneouswishespointed，thatthissecondbirthofmysufferingsbegan，andthattheyagainthreatenedtobesiegethecitadeloflifeandhope。ThereitwasthatforyearsIwaspersecutedbyvisionsasugly，andasghastlyphantomsaseverhauntedthecouchofanOrestes;andinthisunhappierthanhe，thatsleep，whichcomestoallasarespiteandarestoration，andtohimespeciallyasablessed{7}balmforhiswoundedheartandhishauntedbrain，visitedmeasmybitterestscourge。ThusblindwasIinmydesires;
yetifaveilinterposesbetweenthedim-sightednessofmanandhisfuturecalamities，thesameveilhidesfromhimtheiralleviations，andagriefwhichhadnotbeenfearedismetbyconsolationswhichhadnotbeenhoped。Itherefore，whoparticipated，asitwere，inthetroublesofOrestes（exceptingonlyinhisagitatedconscience），participatednolessinallhissupports。MyEumenides，likehis，wereatmybed-feet，andstaredinuponmethroughthecurtains;butwatchingbymypillow，ordefraudingherselfofsleeptobearmecompanythroughtheheavywatchesofthenight，satemyElectra;forthou，belovedM。，dearcompanionofmylateryears，thouwastmyElectra！andneitherinnobilityofmindnorinlong-sufferingaffectionwouldstpermitthataGreciansistershouldexcelanEnglishwife。Forthouthoughtestnotmuchtostooptohumbleofficesofkindnessandtoservile{8}ministrationsoftenderestaffection——towipeawayforyearstheunwholesomedewsupontheforehead，ortorefreshthelipswhenparchedandbakedwithfever;
norevenwhenthyownpeacefulslumbershadbylongsympathybecomeinfectedwiththespectacleofmydreadcontestwithphantomsandshadowyenemiesthatoftentimesbademe"sleepnomore！"——noteventhendidstthouutteracomplaintoranymurmur，norwithdrawthyangelicsmiles，norshrinkfromthyserviceoflove，morethanElectradidofold。Forshetoo，thoughshewasaGrecianwoman，andthedaughteroftheking{9}ofmen，yetweptsometimes，andhidherface{10}inherrobe。
Butthesetroublesarepast;andthouwiltreadrecordsofaperiodsodoloroustousbothasthelegendofsomehideousdreamthatcanreturnnomore。Meantime，IamagaininLondon，andagainIpacetheterracesofOxfordStreetbynight;andoftentimes，whenIamoppressedbyanxietiesthatdemandallmyphilosophyandthecomfortofthypresencetosupport，andyetrememberthatIamseparatedfromtheebythreehundredmilesandthelengthofthreedrearymonths，IlookupthestreetsthatrunnorthwardsfromOxfordStreet，uponmoon-lightnights，andrecollectmyyouthfulejaculationofanguish;andrememberingthatthouartsittingaloneinthatsamevalley，andmistressofthatveryhousetowhichmyheartturnedinitsblindnessnineteenyearsago，Ithinkthat，thoughblindindeed，andscatteredtothewindsoflate，thepromptingsofmyheartmayyethavehadreferencetoaremotertime，andmaybejustifiedifreadinanothermeaning;andifIcouldallowmyselftodescendagaintotheimpotentwishesofchildhood，I
shouldagainsaytomyself，asIlooktotheNorth，"Oh，thatIhadthewingsofadove——"andwithhowjustaconfidenceinthygoodandgraciousnaturemightIaddtheotherhalfofmyearlyejaculation——"AndTHATwayIwouldflyforcomfort！"
THEPLEASURESOFOPIUM
ItissolongsinceIfirsttookopiumthatifithadbeenatriflingincidentinmylifeImighthaveforgottenitsdate;butcardinaleventsarenottobeforgotten，andfromcircumstancesconnectedwithitIrememberthatitmustbereferredtotheautumnof1804。DuringthatseasonIwasinLondon，havingcomethitherforthefirsttimesincemyentranceatcollege。Andmyintroductiontoopiumaroseinthefollowingway。FromanearlyageIhadbeenaccustomedtowashmyheadincoldwateratleastonceaday：beingsuddenlyseizedwithtoothache，Iattributedittosomerelaxationcausedbyanaccidentalintermissionofthatpractice，jumpedoutofbed，plungedmyheadintoabasinofcoldwater，andwithhairthuswettedwenttosleep。Thenextmorning，asIneedhardlysay，Iawokewithexcruciatingrheumaticpainsoftheheadandface，fromwhichIhadhardlyanyrespiteforabouttwentydays。
Onthetwenty-firstdayIthinkitwas，andonaSunday，thatIwentoutintothestreets，rathertorunaway，ifpossible，frommytorments，thanwithanydistinctpurpose。ByaccidentImetacollegeacquaintance，whorecommendedopium。Opium！dreadagentofunimaginablepleasureandpain！IhadheardofitasIhadofmannaorofambrosia，butnofurther。Howunmeaningasoundwasitatthattime：whatsolemnchordsdoesitnowstrikeuponmyheart！
whatheart-quakingvibrationsofsadandhappyremembrances！
Revertingforamomenttothese，Ifeelamysticimportanceattachedtotheminutestcircumstancesconnectedwiththeplaceandthetimeandtheman（ifmanhewas）thatfirstlaidopentometheParadiseofOpium-eaters。ItwasaSundayafternoon，wetandcheerless：andadullerspectaclethisearthofourshasnottoshowthanarainySundayinLondon。MyroadhomewardslaythroughOxfordStreet;andnear"thestatelyPantheon"（asMr。Wordsworthhasobliginglycalledit）Isawadruggist’sshop。Thedruggist——unconsciousministerofcelestialpleasures！——asifinsympathywiththerainySunday，lookeddullandstupid，justasanymortaldruggistmightbeexpectedtolookonaSunday;andwhenIaskedforthetinctureofopium，hegaveittomeasanyothermanmightdo，andfurthermore，outofmyshillingreturnedmewhatseemedtoberealcopperhalfpence，takenoutofarealwoodendrawer。Nevertheless，inspiteofsuchindicationsofhumanity，hehaseversinceexistedinmymindasthebeatificvisionofanimmortaldruggist，sentdowntoearthonaspecialmissiontomyself。Anditconfirmsmeinthiswayofconsideringhim，thatwhenInextcameuptoLondonIsoughthimnearthestatelyPantheon，andfoundhimnot;andthustome，whoknewnothisname（ifindeedhehadone），heseemedrathertohavevanishedfromOxfordStreetthantohaveremovedinanybodilyfashion。Thereadermaychoosetothinkofhimaspossiblynomorethanasublunarydruggist;itmaybeso，butmyfaithisbetter——I
believehimtohaveevanesced，{11}orevaporated。SounwillinglywouldIconnectanymortalremembranceswiththathour，andplace，andcreature，thatfirstbroughtmeacquaintedwiththecelestialdrug。
Arrivedatmylodgings，itmaybesupposedthatIlostnotamomentintakingthequantityprescribed。Iwasnecessarilyignorantofthewholeartandmysteryofopium-taking，andwhatItookItookundereverydisadvantage。ButItookit——andinanhour——oh，heavens！whatarevulsion！whatanupheaving，fromitslowestdepths，ofinnerspirit！whatanapocalypseoftheworldwithinme！
Thatmypainshadvanishedwasnowatrifleinmyeyes：thisnegativeeffectwasswallowedupintheimmensityofthosepositiveeffectswhichhadopenedbeforeme——intheabyssofdivineenjoymentthussuddenlyrevealed。Herewasapanacea，a[Greektext]forallhumanwoes;herewasthesecretofhappiness，aboutwhichphilosophershaddisputedforsomanyages，atoncediscovered：
happinessmightnowbeboughtforapenny，andcarriedinthewaistcoatpocket;portableecstaciesmightbehadcorkedupinapintbottle，andpeaceofmindcouldbesentdowningallonsbythemail-coach。ButifItalkinthiswaythereaderwillthinkIamlaughing，andIcanassurehimthatnobodywilllaughlongwhodealsmuchwithopium：itspleasuresevenareofagraveandsolemncomplexion，andinhishappieststatetheopium-eatercannotpresenthimselfinthecharacterofL’Allegro：eventhenhespeaksandthinksasbecomesIlPenseroso。Nevertheless，Ihaveaveryreprehensiblewayofjestingattimesinthemidstofmyownmisery;
andunlesswhenIamcheckedbysomemorepowerfulfeelings，IamafraidIshallbeguiltyofthisindecentpracticeevenintheseannalsofsufferingorenjoyment。Thereadermustallowalittletomyinfirmnatureinthisrespect;andwithafewindulgencesofthatsortIshallendeavourtobeasgrave，ifnotdrowsy，asfitsathemelikeopium，soanti-mercurialasitreallyis，andsodrowsyasitisfalselyreputed。
Andfirst，onewordwithrespecttoitsbodilyeffects;foruponallthathasbeenhithertowrittenonthesubjectofopium，whetherbytravellersinTurkey（whomaypleadtheirprivilegeoflyingasanoldimmemorialright），orbyprofessorsofmedicine，writingexcathedra，Ihavebutoneemphaticcriticismtopronounce——Lies！
lies！lies！Irememberonce，inpassingabook-stall，tohavecaughtthesewordsfromapageofsomesatiricauthor："BythistimeIbecameconvincedthattheLondonnewspapersspoketruthatleasttwiceaweek，viz。，onTuesdayandSaturday，andmightsafelybedependeduponfor——thelistofbankrupts。"Inlikemanner，Idobynomeansdenythatsometruthshavebeendeliveredtotheworldinregardtoopium。Thusithasbeenrepeatedlyaffirmedbythelearnedthatopiumisaduskybrownincolour;andthis，takenotice，Igrant。Secondly，thatitisratherdear，whichalsoI
grant，forinmytimeEastIndianopiumhasbeenthreeguineasapound，andTurkeyeight。Andthirdly，thatifyoueatagooddealofit，mostprobablyyoumust——dowhatisparticularlydisagreeabletoanymanofregularhabits，viz。，die。{12}Theseweightypropositionsare，allandsingular，true：Icannotgainsaythem，andtrutheverwas，andwillbe，commendable。ButinthesethreetheoremsIbelievewehaveexhaustedthestockofknowledgeasyetaccumulatedbymenonthesubjectofopium。
Andtherefore，worthydoctors，asthereseemstoberoomforfurtherdiscoveries，standaside，andallowmetocomeforwardandlectureonthismatter。
First，then，itisnotsomuchaffirmedastakenforgranted，byallwhoevermentionopium，formallyorincidentally，thatitdoesorcanproduceintoxication。Now，reader，assureyourself，meoperieulo，thatnoquantityofopiumeverdidorcouldintoxicate。
Astothetinctureofopium（commonlycalledlaudanum）THATmightcertainlyintoxicateifamancouldbeartotakeenoughofit;butwhy？Becauseitcontainssomuchproofspirit，andnotbecauseitcontainssomuchopium。Butcrudeopium，Iaffirmperemptorily，isincapableofproducinganystateofbodyatallresemblingthatwhichisproducedbyalcohol，andnotinDEGREEonlyincapable，buteveninKIND：itisnotinthequantityofitseffectsmerely，butinthequality，thatitdiffersaltogether。Thepleasuregivenbywineisalwaysmountingandtendingtoacrisis，afterwhichitdeclines;thatfromopium，whenoncegenerated，isstationaryforeightortenhours：thefirst，toborrowatechnicaldistinctionfrommedicine，isacaseofacute——thesecond，thechronicpleasure;
theoneisaflame，theotherasteadyandequableglow。Butthemaindistinctionliesinthis，thatwhereaswinedisordersthementalfaculties，opium，onthecontrary（iftakeninapropermanner），introducesamongstthemthemostexquisiteorder，legislation，andharmony。Winerobsamanofhisself-possession;
opiumgreatlyinvigoratesit。Wineunsettlesandcloudsthejudgement，andgivesapreternaturalbrightnessandavividexaltationtothecontemptsandtheadmirations，thelovesandthehatredsofthedrinker;opium，onthecontrary，communicatesserenityandequipoisetoallthefaculties，activeorpassive，andwithrespecttothetemperandmoralfeelingsingeneralitgivessimplythatsortofvitalwarmthwhichisapprovedbythejudgment，andwhichwouldprobablyalwaysaccompanyabodilyconstitutionofprimevalorantediluvianhealth。Thus，forinstance，opium，likewine，givesanexpansiontotheheartandthebenevolentaffections;
butthen，withthisremarkabledifference，thatinthesuddendevelopmentofkind-heartednesswhichaccompaniesinebriationthereisalwaysmoreorlessofamaudlincharacter，whichexposesittothecontemptofthebystander。Menshakehands，sweareternalfriendship，andshedtears，nomortalknowswhy;andthesensualcreatureisclearlyuppermost。Buttheexpansionofthebenignerfeelingsincidenttoopiumisnofebrileaccess，butahealthyrestorationtothatstatewhichthemindwouldnaturallyrecoverupontheremovalofanydeep-seatedirritationofpainthathaddisturbedandquarrelledwiththeimpulsesofaheartoriginallyjustandgood。Trueitisthatevenwine，uptoacertainpointandwithcertainmen，rathertendstoexaltandtosteadytheintellect;
Imyself，whohaveneverbeenagreatwine-drinker，usedtofindthathalf-a-dozenglassesofwineadvantageouslyaffectedthefaculties——brightenedandintensifiedtheconsciousness，andgavetothemindafeelingofbeing"ponderibuslibratasuis;"andcertainlyitismostabsurdlysaid，inpopularlanguage，ofanymanthatheisDISGUISEDinliquor;for，onthecontrary，mostmenaredisguisedbysobriety，anditiswhentheyaredrinking（assomeoldgentlemansaysinAthenaeus），thatmen[Greektext]——displaythemselvesintheirtruecomplexionofcharacter，whichsurelyisnotdisguisingthemselves。Butstill，wineconstantlyleadsamantothebrinkofabsurdityandextravagance，andbeyondacertainpointitissuretovolatiliseandtodispersetheintellectualenergies：whereasopiumalwaysseemstocomposewhathadbeenagitated，andtoconcentratewhathadbeendistracted。Inshort，tosumupallinoneword，amanwhoisinebriated，ortendingtoinebriation，is，andfeelsthatheis，inaconditionwhichcallsupintosupremacythemerelyhuman，toooftenthebrutalpartofhisnature;buttheopium-eater（Ispeakofhimwhoisnotsufferingfromanydiseaseorotherremoteeffectsofopium）feelsthatthedivinespartofhisnatureisparamount;thatis，themoralaffectionsareinastateofcloudlessserenity，andoverallisthegreatlightofthemajesticintellect。
Thisisthedoctrineofthetruechurchonthesubjectofopium：ofwhichchurchIacknowledgemyselftobetheonlymember——thealphaandtheomega：butthenitistoberecollectedthatIspeakfromthegroundofalargeandprofoundpersonalexperience：whereasmostoftheunscientific{13}authorswhohaveatalltreatedofopium，andevenofthosewhohavewrittenexpresslyonthemateriamedica，makeitevident，fromthehorrortheyexpressofit，thattheirexperimentalknowledgeofitsactionisnoneatall。Iwill，however，candidlyacknowledgethatIhavemetwithonepersonwhoboreevidencetoitsintoxicatingpower，suchasstaggeredmyownincredulity;forhewasasurgeon，andhadhimselftakenopiumlargely。Ihappenedtosaytohimthathisenemies（asIhadheard）
chargedhimwithtalkingnonsenseonpolitics，andthathisfriendsapologizedforhimbysuggestingthathewasconstantlyinastateofintoxicationfromopium。Nowtheaccusation，saidI，isnotprimafacieandofnecessityanabsurdone;butthedefenceIS。Tomysurprise，however，heinsistedthatbothhisenemiesandhisfriendswereintheright。"Iwillmaintain，"saidhe，"thatIDO
talknonsense;andsecondly，IwillmaintainthatIdonottalknonsenseuponprinciple，orwithanyviewtoprofit，butsolelyandsimply，saidhe，solelyandsimply——solelyandsimply（repeatingitthreetimesover），becauseIamdrunkwithopium，andTHATdaily。"
Irepliedthat，astotheallegationofhisenemies，asitseemedtobeestablisheduponsuchrespectabletestimony，seeingthatthethreepartiesconcernedallagreeinit，itdidnotbecomemetoquestionit;butthedefencesetupImustdemurto。Heproceededtodiscussthematter，andtolaydownhisreasons;butitseemedtomesoimpolitetopursueanargumentwhichmusthavepresumedamanmistakeninapointbelongingtohisownprofession，thatIdidnotpresshimevenwhenhiscourseofargumentseemedopentoobjection;
nottomentionthatamanwhotalksnonsense，eventhough"withnoviewtoprofit，"isnotaltogetherthemostagreeablepartnerinadispute，whetherasopponentorrespondent。Iconfess，however，thattheauthorityofasurgeon，andonewhowasreputedagoodone，mayseemaweightyonetomyprejudice;butstillImustpleadmyexperience，whichwasgreaterthanhisgreatestby7，000dropsa-
day;andthoughitwasnotpossibletosupposeamedicalmanunacquaintedwiththecharacteristicsymptomsofvinousintoxication，ityetstruckmethathemightproceedonalogicalerrorofusingthewordintoxicationwithtoogreatlatitude，andextendingitgenericallytoallmodesofnervousexcitement，insteadofrestrictingitastheexpressionforaspecificsortofexcitementconnectedwithcertaindiagnostics。Somepeoplehavemaintainedinmyhearingthattheyhadbeendrunkupongreentea;
andamedicalstudentinLondon，forwhoseknowledgeinhisprofessionIhavereasontofeelgreatrespect，assuredmetheotherdaythatapatientinrecoveringfromanillnesshadgotdrunkonabeef-steak。
Havingdweltsomuchonthisfirstandleadingerrorinrespecttoopium，Ishallnoticeverybrieflyasecondandathird，whichare，thattheelevationofspiritsproducedbyopiumisnecessarilyfollowedbyaproportionatedepression，andthatthenaturalandevenimmediateconsequenceofopiumistorporandstagnation，animalandmental。ThefirstoftheseerrorsIshallcontentmyselfwithsimplydenying;assuringmyreaderthatfortenyears，duringwhichItookopiumatintervals，thedaysucceedingtothatonwhichI
allowedmyselfthisluxurywasalwaysadayofunusuallygoodspirits。
Withrespecttothetorporsupposedtofollow，orrather（ifweweretocreditthenumerouspicturesofTurkishopium-eaters）toaccompanythepracticeofopium-eating，Idenythatalso。Certainlyopiumisclassedundertheheadofnarcotics，andsomesucheffectitmayproduceintheend;buttheprimaryeffectsofopiumarealways，andinthehighestdegree，toexciteandstimulatethesystem。Thisfirststageofitsactionalwayslastedwithme，duringmynoviciate，forupwardsofeighthours;sothatitmustbethefaultoftheopium-eaterhimselfifhedoesnotsotimehisexhibitionofthedose（tospeakmedically）asthatthewholeweightofitsnarcoticinfluencemaydescenduponhissleep。Turkishopium-eaters，itseems，areabsurdenoughtosit，likesomanyequestrianstatues，onlogsofwoodasstupidasthemselves。ButthatthereadermayjudgeofthedegreeinwhichopiumislikelytostupefythefacultiesofanEnglishman，Ishall（bywayoftreatingthequestionillustratively，ratherthanargumentatively）describethewayinwhichImyselfoftenpassedanopiumeveninginLondonduringtheperiodbetween1804-1812。Itwillbeseenthatatleastopiumdidnotmovemetoseeksolitude，andmuchlesstoseekinactivity，orthetorpidstateofself-involutionascribedtotheTurks。Igivethisaccountattheriskofbeingpronouncedacrazyenthusiastorvisionary;butIregardTHATlittle。ImustdesiremyreadertobearinmindthatIwasahardstudent，andatseverestudiesforalltherestofmytime;andcertainlyIhadarightoccasionallytorelaxationsaswellasotherpeople。These，however，Iallowedmyselfbutseldom。
ThelateDukeof——usedtosay，"NextFriday，bytheblessingofheaven，Ipurposetobedrunk;"andinlikemannerIusedtofixbeforehandhowoftenwithinagiventime，andwhen，Iwouldcommitadebauchofopium。Thiswasseldommorethanonceinthreeweeks，foratthattimeIcouldnothaveventuredtocalleveryday，asI
didafterwards，for"AGLASSOFLAUDANUMNEGUS，WARM，ANDWITHOUT
SUGAR。"No，asIhavesaid，Iseldomdranklaudanum，atthattime，morethanonceinthreeweeks：ThiswasusuallyonaTuesdayoraSaturdaynight;myreasonforwhichwasthis。InthosedaysGrassinisangattheOpera，andhervoicewasdelightfultomebeyondallthatIhadeverheard。IknownotwhatmaybethestateoftheOpera-housenow，havingneverbeenwithinitswallsforsevenoreightyears，butatthattimeitwasbymuchthemostpleasantplaceofpublicresortinLondonforpassinganevening。Fiveshillingsadmittedonetothegallery，whichwassubjecttofarlessannoyancethanthepitofthetheatres;theorchestrawasdistinguishedbyitssweetandmelodiousgrandeurfromallEnglishorchestras，thecompositionofwhich，Iconfess，isnotacceptabletomyear，fromthepredominanceoftheclamorousinstrumentsandtheabsolutetyrannyoftheviolin。Thechorusesweredivinetohear，andwhenGrassiniappearedinsomeinterlude，assheoftendid，andpouredforthherpassionatesoulasAndromacheatthetombofHector，&c。，IquestionwhetheranyTurk，ofallthateverenteredtheParadiseofOpium-eaters，canhavehadhalfthepleasureIhad。But，indeed，IhonourthebarbarianstoomuchbysupposingthemcapableofanypleasuresapproachingtotheintellectualonesofanEnglishman。Formusicisanintellectualorasensualpleasureaccordingtothetemperamentofhimwhohearsit。And，by-
the-bye，withtheexceptionofthefineextravaganzaonthatsubjectin"TwelfthNight，"Idonotrecollectmorethanonethingsaidadequatelyonthesubjectofmusicinallliterature;itisapassageintheReligioMedici{14}ofSirT。Brown，andthoughchieflyremarkableforitssublimity，hasalsoaphilosophicvalue，inasmuchasitpointstothetruetheoryofmusicaleffects。Themistakeofmostpeopleistosupposethatitisbytheeartheycommunicatewithmusic，andthereforethattheyarepurelypassivetoitseffects。Butthisisnotso;itisbythereactionoftheminduponthenoticesoftheear（theMATTERcomingbythesenses，theFORMfromthemind）thatthepleasureisconstructed，andthereforeitisthatpeopleofequallygoodeardiffersomuchinthispointfromoneanother。Now，opium，bygreatlyincreasingtheactivityofthemind，generallyincreases，ofnecessity，thatparticularmodeofitsactivitybywhichweareabletoconstructoutoftherawmaterialoforganicsoundanelaborateintellectualpleasure。But，saysafriend，asuccessionofmusicalsoundsistomelikeacollectionofArabiccharacters;Icanattachnoideastothem。Ideas！mygoodsir？Thereisnooccasionforthem;allthatclassofideaswhichcanbeavailableinsuchacasehasalanguageofrepresentativefeelings。Butthisisasubjectforeigntomypresentpurposes;itissufficienttosaythatachorus，&c。，ofelaborateharmonydisplayedbeforeme，asinapieceofarraswork，thewholeofmypastlife——notasifrecalledbyanactofmemory，butasifpresentandincarnatedinthemusic;nolongerpainfultodwellupon;butthedetailofitsincidentsremovedorblendedinsomehazyabstraction，anditspassionsexalted，spiritualized，andsublimed。Allthiswastobehadforfiveshillings。Andoverandabovethemusicofthestageandtheorchestra，Ihadallaroundme，intheintervalsoftheperformance，themusicoftheItalianlanguagetalkedbyItalianwomen——forthegallerywasusuallycrowdedwithItalians——andIlistenedwithapleasuresuchasthatwithwhichWeldthetravellerlayandlistened，inCanada，tothesweetlaughterofIndianwomen;forthelessyouunderstandofalanguage，themoresensibleyouaretothemelodyorharshnessofitssounds。Forsuchapurpose，therefore，itwasanadvantagetomethatIwasapoorItalianscholar，readingitbutlittle，andnotspeakingitatall，norunderstandingatenthpartofwhatIheardspoken。
Theseweremyoperapleasures;butanotherpleasureIhadwhich，asitcouldbehadonlyonaSaturdaynight，occasionallystruggledwithmyloveoftheOpera;foratthattimeTuesdayandSaturdayweretheregularoperanights。OnthissubjectIamafraidIshallberatherobscure，butIcanassurethereadernotatallmoresothanMarinusinhisLifeofProclus，ormanyotherbiographersandautobiographersoffairreputation。Thispleasure，Ihavesaid，wastobehadonlyonaSaturdaynight。What，then，wasSaturdaynighttomemorethananyothernight？IhadnolaboursthatIrestedfrom，nowagestoreceive;whatneededItocareforSaturdaynight，morethanasitwasasummonstohearGrassini？True，mostlogicalreader;whatyousayisunanswerable。Andyetsoitwasandis，thatwhereasdifferentmenthrowtheirfeelingsintodifferentchannels，andmostareapttoshowtheirinterestintheconcernsofthepoorchieflybysympathy，expressedinsomeshapeorother，withtheirdistressesandsorrows，Iatthattimewasdisposedtoexpressmyinterestbysympathisingwiththeirpleasures。ThepainsofpovertyIhadlatelyseentoomuchof，morethanIwishedtoremember;butthepleasuresofthepoor，theirconsolationsofspirit，andtheirreposesfrombodilytoil，canneverbecomeoppressivetocontemplate。NowSaturdaynightistheseasonforthechief，regular，andperiodicreturnofrestofthepoor;inthispointthemosthostilesectsunite，andacknowledgeacommonlinkofbrotherhood;almostallChristendomrestsfromitslabours。Itisarestintroductorytoanotherrest，anddividedbyawholedayandtwonightsfromtherenewaloftoil。OnthisaccountIfeelalways，onaSaturdaynight，asthoughIalsowerereleasedfromsomeyokeoflabour，hadsomewagestoreceive，andsomeluxuryofreposetoenjoy。Forthesake，therefore，ofwitnessing，uponaslargeascaleaspossible，aspectaclewithwhichmysympathywassoentire，IusedoftenonSaturdaynights，afterIhadtakenopium，towanderforth，withoutmuchregardingthedirectionorthedistance，toallthemarketsandotherpartsofLondontowhichthepoorresortofaSaturdaynight，forlayingouttheirwages。Manyafamilyparty，consistingofaman，hiswife，andsometimesoneortwoofhischildren，haveIlistenedto，astheystoodconsultingontheirwaysandmeans，orthestrengthoftheirexchequer，orthepriceofhouseholdarticles。GraduallyIbecamefamiliarwiththeirwishes，theirdifficulties，andtheiropinions。Sometimestheremightbeheardmurmursofdiscontent，butfaroftenerexpressionsonthecountenance，orutteredinwords，ofpatience，hope，andtranquillity。Andtakengenerally，Imustsaythat，inthispointatleast，thepooraremorephilosophicthantherich——thattheyshowamorereadyandcheerfulsubmissiontowhattheyconsiderasirremediableevilsorirreparablelosses。WheneverIsawoccasion，orcoulddoitwithoutappearingtobeintrusive，Ijoinedtheirparties，andgavemyopinionuponthematterindiscussion，which，ifnotalwaysjudicious，wasalwaysreceivedindulgently。Ifwageswerealittlehigherorexpectedtobeso，orthequarternloafalittlelower，oritwasreportedthatonionsandbutterwereexpectedtofall，Iwasglad;yet，ifthecontraryweretrue，Idrewfromopiumsomemeansofconsolingmyself。Foropium（likethebee，thatextractsitsmaterialsindiscriminatelyfromrosesandfromthesootofchimneys）canoverruleallfeelingsintocompliancewiththemaster-key。Someoftheseramblesledmetogreatdistances，foranopium-eateristoohappytoobservethemotionoftime;andsometimesinmyattemptstosteerhomewards，uponnauticalprinciples，byfixingmyeyeonthepole-star，andseekingambitiouslyforanorth-westpassage，insteadofcircumnavigatingallthecapesandhead-landsIhaddoubledinmyoutwardvoyage，I
camesuddenlyuponsuchknottyproblemsofalleys，suchenigmaticalentries，andsuchsphynx’sriddlesofstreetswithoutthoroughfares，asmust，Iconceive，baffletheaudacityofportersandconfoundtheintellectsofhackney-coachmen。IcouldalmosthavebelievedattimesthatImustbethefirstdiscovererofsomeoftheseterraeincognitae，anddoubtedwhethertheyhadyetbeenlaiddowninthemodernchartsofLondon。Forallthis，however，Ipaidaheavypriceindistantyears，whenthehumanfacetyrannisedovermydreams，andtheperplexitiesofmystepsinLondoncamebackandhauntedmysleep，withthefeelingofperplexities，moralandintellectual，thatbroughtconfusiontothereason，oranguishandremorsetotheconscience。
ThusIhaveshownthatopiumdoesnotofnecessityproduceinactivityortorpor，butthat，onthecontrary，itoftenledmeintomarketsandtheatres。Yet，incandour，Iwilladmitthatmarketsandtheatresarenottheappropriatehauntsoftheopium-
eaterwheninthedivineststateincidenttohisenjoyment。Inthatstate，crowdsbecomeanoppressiontohim;musiceven，toosensualandgross。Henaturallyseekssolitudeandsilence，asindispensableconditionsofthosetrances，orprofoundestreveries，whicharethecrownandconsummationofwhatopiumcandoforhumannature。I，whosediseaseitwastomeditatetoomuchandtoobservetoolittle，andwhouponmyfirstentranceatcollegewasnearlyfallingintoadeepmelancholy，frombroodingtoomuchonthesufferingswhichIhadwitnessedinLondon，wassufficientlyawareofthetendenciesofmyownthoughtstodoallIcouldtocounteractthem。Iwas，indeed，likeapersonwho，accordingtotheoldlegend，hadenteredthecaveofTrophonius;andtheremediesI
soughtweretoforcemyselfintosociety，andtokeepmyunderstandingincontinualactivityuponmattersofscience。ButfortheseremediesIshouldcertainlyhavebecomehypochondriacallymelancholy。Inafteryears，however，whenmycheerfulnesswasmorefullyre-established，Iyieldedtomynaturalinclinationforasolitarylife。AndatthattimeIoftenfellintothesereveriesupontakingopium;andmorethanonceithashappenedtome，onasummernight，whenIhavebeenatanopenwindow，inaroomfromwhichIcouldoverlooktheseaatamilebelowme，andcouldcommandaviewofthegreattownofL-，ataboutthesamedistance，thatI
havesatefromsunsettosunrise，motionless，andwithoutwishingtomove。
Ishallbechargedwithmysticism，Behmenism，quietism，&c。，butTHATshallnotalarmme。SirH。Vane，theyounger，wasoneofourwisestmen;andletmyreaderseeifhe，inhisphilosophicalworks，behalfasunmysticalasIam。Isay，then，thatithasoftenstruckmethatthesceneitselfwassomewhattypicalofwhattookplaceinsuchareverie。ThetownofL-representedtheearth，withitssorrowsanditsgravesleftbehind，yetnotoutofsight，norwhollyforgotten。Theocean，ineverlastingbutgentleagitation，andbroodedoverbyadove-likecalm，mightnotunfitlytypifythemindandthemoodwhichthenswayedit。ForitseemedtomeasifthenfirstIstoodatadistanceandalooffromtheuproaroflife;
asifthetumult，thefever，andthestrifeweresuspended;arespitegrantedfromthesecretburthensoftheheart;asabbathofrepose;arestingfromhumanlabours。Herewerethehopeswhichblossominthepathsoflifereconciledwiththepeacewhichisinthegrave;motionsoftheintellectasunweariedastheheavens，yetforallanxietiesahalcyoncalm;atranquillitythatseemednoproductofinertia，butasifresultingfrommightyandequalantagonisms;infiniteactivities，infiniterepose。
Oh，just，subtle，andmightyopium！thattotheheartsofpoorandrichalike，forthewoundsthatwillneverheal，andfor"thepangsthattemptthespirittorebel，"bringestanassuagingbalm;
eloquentopium！thatwiththypotentrhetoricstealestawaythepurposesofwrath;andtotheguiltymanforonenightgivestbackthehopesofhisyouth，andhandswashedpurefromblood;andtotheproudmanabriefoblivionforWrongsundress’dandinsultsunavenged;
thatsummonesttothechanceryofdreams，forthetriumphsofsufferinginnocence，falsewitnesses;andconfoundestperjury，anddostreversethesentencesofunrighteousjudges;——thoubuildestuponthebosomofdarkness，outofthefantasticimageryofthebrain，citiesandtemplesbeyondtheartofPhidiasandPraxiteles——
beyondthesplendourofBabylonandHekatompylos，and"fromtheanarchyofdreamingsleep"callestintosunnylightthefacesoflong-buriedbeautiesandtheblessedhouseholdcountenancescleansedfromthe"dishonoursofthegrave。"Thouonlygivestthesegiftstoman;andthouhastthekeysofParadise，oh，just，subtle，andmightyopium！
INTRODUCTIONTOTHEPAINSOFOPIUM
Courteous，andIhopeindulgent，reader（forallMYreadersmustbeindulgentones，orelseIfearIshallshockthemtoomuchtocountontheircourtesy），havingaccompaniedmethusfar，nowletmerequestyoutomoveonwardsforabouteightyears;thatistosay，from1804（whenIhavesaidthatmyacquaintancewithopiumfirstbegan）to1812。Theyearsofacademiclifearenowoverandgone——
almostforgotten;thestudent’scapnolongerpressesmytemples;ifmycapexistatall，itpressesthoseofsomeyouthfulscholar，I
trust，ashappyasmyself，andaspassionatealoverofknowledge。
Mygownisbythistime，Idaresay，inthesameconditionwithmanythousandexcellentbooksintheBodleian，viz。，diligentlyperusedbycertainstudiousmothsandworms;ordeparted，however（whichisallthatIknowofhisfate），tothatgreatreservoirofSOMEWHERE
towhichallthetea-cups，tea-caddies，tea-pots，tea-kettles，&c。，havedeparted（nottospeakofstillfrailervessels，suchasglasses，decanters，bed-makers，&c。），whichoccasionalresemblancesinthepresentgenerationoftea-cups，&c。，remindmeofhavingoncepossessed，butofwhosedepartureandfinalfateI，incommonwithmostgownsmenofeitheruniversity，couldgive，Isuspect，butanobscureandconjecturalhistory。Thepersecutionsofthechapel-
bell，soundingitsunwelcomesummonstosixo’clockmatins，interruptsmyslumbersnolonger，theporterwhorangit，uponwhosebeautifulnose（bronze，inlaidwithcopper）Iwrote，inretaliationsomanyGreekepigramswhilstIwasdressing，isdead，andhasceasedtodisturbanybody;andI，andmanyotherswhosufferedmuchfromhistintinnabulouspropensities，havenowagreedtooverlookhiserrors，andhaveforgivenhim。EvenwiththebellIamnowincharity;itrings，Isuppose，asformerly，thricea-day，andcruellyannoys，Idoubtnot，manyworthygentlemen，anddisturbstheirpeaceofmind;butastome，inthisyear1812，Iregarditstreacherousvoicenolonger（treacherousIcallit，for，bysomerefinementofmalice，itspokeinassweetandsilverytonesasifithadbeeninvitingonetoaparty）;itstoneshavenolonger，indeed，powertoreachme，letthewindsitasfavourableasthemaliceofthebellitselfcouldwish，forIam250milesawayfromit，andburiedinthedepthofmountains。AndwhatamIdoingamongthemountains？
Takingopium。Yes;butwhatelse？Whyreader，in1812，theyearwearenowarrivedat，aswellasforsomeyearsprevious，IhavebeenchieflystudyingGermanmetaphysicsinthewritingsofKant，Fichte，Schelling，&c。AndhowandinwhatmannerdoIlive？——inshort，whatclassordescriptionofmendoIbelongto？Iamatthisperiod——viz。in1812——livinginacottageandwithasinglefemaleservant（honisoitquimalypense），whoamongstmyneighbourspassesbythenameofmy"housekeeper。"Andasascholarandamanoflearnededucation，andinthatsenseagentleman，ImaypresumetoclassmyselfasanunworthymemberofthatindefinitebodycalledGENTLEMEN。PartlyonthegroundIhaveassignedperhaps，partlybecausefrommyhavingnovisiblecallingorbusiness，itisrightlyjudgedthatImustbelivingonmyprivatefortune;Iamsoclassedbymyneighbours;andbythecourtesyofmodernEnglandIamusuallyaddressedonletters，&c。，"Esquire，"thoughhaving，Ifear，intherigorousconstructionofheralds，butslenderpretensionstothatdistinguishedhonour;yetinpopularestimationIamX。Y。Z。，Esquire，butnotjusticeofthePeacenorCustosRotulorum。AmI
married？Notyet。AndIstilltakeopium？OnSaturdaynights。