Acataractfellinasinglesheetintothepool;thepoolboiledandbubbledatthebaseofthefall,butthroughthegreaterpartofitsextent,laycalm,deep,andblack,asifthecataracthadplungedthroughittoanunimaginabledepth,withoutdisturbingitseternalrepose。Attheoppositeextremityofthepool,therocksalmostmetattheirsummits,thetreesoftheoppositebanksintermingledtheirleaves,andanothercataractplungedfromthepoolintoachasm,onwhichthesunbeamsnevergleamed。Highabove,onbothsides,thesteepwoodyslopesofthedinglesoaredintothesky;andfromafissureintherock,onwhichthelittlepathterminated,asinglegnarledandtwistedoakstretcheditselfoverthepool,formingaforkwithitsboughsatashortdistancefromtherock。MissSusannahoftensatontherock,withherfeetrestingonthistree;intime,shemadeherseatonthetreeitself,withherfeethangingovertheabyss;andatlength,sheaccustomedherselftoliealonguponitstrunk,withhersideonthemossyboleofthefork,andanarmroundoneofthebranches。
  Fromthispositionaportionoftheskyandthewoodswasreflectedinthepool,which,fromitsbank,wasbutamassofdarkness。Thefirsttimeshereclinedinthismanner,herheartbeataudibly;intimeshelaydownascalmlyasonthemountainheather;theperceptionofthesublimewasprobablyheightenedbyanintermingledsenseofdanger;andperhapsthatindifferencetolife,whichearlydisappointmentforcesuponsensitiveminds,wasnecessarytothefirstexperiment。Therewas,inthenoveltyandstrangenessoftheposition,anexcitementwhichneverwhollypassedaway,butwhichbecamegraduallysubordinatetotheinfluence,atoncetranquillisingandelevating,ofthemingledeternityofmotion,sound,andsolitude。
  Onesultrynoon,shedescendedintothisretreatwithamindmorethanusuallydisturbedbyreflectionsonthepast。Shelayinherfavouriteposition,sometimesgazingonthecataract;lookingsometimesupthesteepsylvanacclivities,intothenarrowspaceofthecloudlessether;sometimesdownintotheabyssofthepool,andthedeepbright-bluereflectionsthatopenedanotherimmensitybelowher。Thedistressingrecollectionsofthemorning,theworldandallitslittlenesses,fadedfromherthoughtslikeadream;butherwoundedandweariedspiritdrankintoodeeplythetranquillisingpoweroftheplace,andshedroppedasleepuponthetreelikeaship-boyonthemast。
  AtthismomentMr。Chainmailemergedintodaylight,onaprojectionoftheoppositerock,havingstruckdownthroughthewoodsinsearchofunsophisticatedscenery。Thescenehediscoveredfilledhimwithdelight:heseatedhimselfontherock,andfellintooneofhisromanticreveries;whensuddenlythesemblanceofablackhatandfeathercaughthiseyeamongthefoliageoftheprojectingoak。Hestartedup,shiftedhisposition,andgotaglimpseofabluegown。Itwashisladyofthelake,hisenchantressoftheruinedcastle,dividedfromhimbyabarrierwhich,atafewyardsbelow,hecouldalmostoverleap,yetunapproachablebutbyacircuitperhapsofmanyhours。Hewatchedwithintenseanxiety。
  Tolistenifshebreathedwasoutofthequestion:thenosesofadeanandchapterwouldhavebeensoundlessintheroarofthetorrent。Fromherextremestillness,sheappearedtosleep:yetwhatcreature,notdesperate,wouldgowilfullytosleepinsuchaplace?Wassheasleep,then?Nay,wasshealive?Shewasasmotionlessasdeath。Hadshebeenmurdered,thrownfromabove,andcaughtinthetree?Shelaytooregularlyandtoocomposedlyforsuchasupposition。Shewasasleep,then,and,inallprobability,herwakingwouldbefatal。Heshiftedhisposition。Belowthepooltwobeetle-browedrocksnearlyoverarchedthechasm,leavingjustsuchaspaceatthesummitaswaswithinthepossibilityofaleap;thetorrentroaredbelowinafearfulgulf。Hepausedsometimeonthebrink,measuringthepracticabilityandthedanger,andcastingeverynowandthenananxiousglancetohissleepingbeauty。Inoneoftheseglanceshesawaslightmovementofthebluegown,and,inamomentafter,theblackhatandfeatherdroppedintothepool。Reflectionwaslostforamoment,and,byasuddenimpulse,heboundedoverthechasm。
  Hestoodabovetheprojectingoak;theunknownbeautylaylikethenymphofthescene;herlongblackhair,whichthefallofherhathaddisengagedfromitsfastenings,droopingthroughtheboughs:
  hesawthatthefirstthingtobedone,wastopreventherthrowingherfeetoffthetrunk,inthefirstmovementsofwaking。Hesatdownontherock,andplacedhisfeetonthestem,securingheranklesbetweenhisown:oneofherarmswasroundabranchofthefork,theotherlaylooselyonherside。Thehandofthisarmheendeavouredtoreach,byleaningforwardfromhisseat;heapproximated,butcouldnottouchit:afterseveraltantalisingefforts,hegaveupthepointindespair。Hedidnotattempttowakeher,becausehefeareditmighthavebadconsequences,andheresignedhimselftoexpectthemomentofhernaturalwaking,determinednottostirfromhispost,ifsheshouldsleeptillmidnight。
  Inthisperiodofforcedinaction,hecouldcontemplateatleisurethefeaturesandformofhischarmer。Shewasnotoneoftheslenderbeautiesofromance;shewasasplumpasapartridge;hercheeksweretworoses,notabsolutelydamask,yetvergingthereupon;herlipstwin-cherries,ofequalsize;hernoseregular,andalmostGrecian;herforeheadhigh,anddelicatelyfair;hereyebrowssymmetricallyarched;hereyelashes,long,black,andsilky,fitlycorrespondingwiththebeautifultressesthathungamongtheleavesoftheoak,likeclustersofwanderinggrapes。
  Hereyeswereyettobeseen;buthowcouldhedoubtthattheiropeningwouldbetherisingofthesun,whenallthatsurroundedtheirfringyportalswasradiantas"theforeheadofthemorningsky?"
  CHAPTERXV:THEFARM
  Daydyw’rgwaith,rhaidd’we’ydygwir,ArfryniauSirMeirionydd;
  Golwgoero’rgwaelagawnMaehiettoynllawnllawenydd。
  ThoughMeirion’srocks,andhillsofheath,Repelthedistantsight,Yetwhere,thanthosebleakhillsbeneath,Isfoundmoretruedelight?
  Atlengththeyoungladyawoke。Shewasstartledatthesuddensightofthestranger,andsomewhatterrifiedatthefirstperceptionofherposition。Butshesoonrecoveredherself-
  possession,and,extendingherhandtotheofferedhandofMr。
  Chainmail,sheraisedherselfuponthetree,andsteppedontherockybank。
  Mr。Chainmailsolicitedpermissiontoattendhertoherhome,whichtheyoungladygraciouslyconceded。Theyemergedfromthewoodydingle,traversedanopenheath,woundalongamountainroadbytheshoreofalake,descendedtothedeepbedofanotherstream,crosseditbyaseriesofstepping-stones,ascendedtosomeheightontheoppositeside,andfollowedupwardsthelineofthestream,tillthebanksopenedintoaspaciousamphitheatre,wherestood,initsfieldsandmeadows,thefarmhouseofAp-Llymry。
  Duringthiswalk,theyhadkeptupaprettyanimatedconversation。
  Theladyhadlostherhat,and,assheturnedtowardsMr。
  Chainmail,inspeakingtohim,therewasnoenviousprojectionofbrimtointerceptthebeamsofthoseradianteyeshehadbeensoanxioustoseeunclosed。Therewasinthemamixtureofsoftnessandbrilliancy,theperfectionofthebeautyoffemaleeyes,suchassomemenhavepassedthroughlifewithoutseeing,andsuchasnomaneversaw,inanypairofeyes,butonce;suchascanneverbeseenandforgotten。YoungCrotchethadseenit;hehadnotforgottenit;buthehadtrampledonitsmemory,astherenegadetramplesontheemblemsofafaithwhichhisinterestonly,andnothisheartorhisreason,hasrejected。
  Herhairstreamedoverhershoulders;thelossoftheblackfeatherhadleftnothingbuttherusticcostume,thebluegown,theblackstockings,andtheribbon-tiedshoes。Hervoicehadthatfullsoftvolumeofmelodywhichgivestocommonspeechthefascinationofmusic。Mr。Chainmailcouldnotreconcilethedressofthedamselwithherconversationandmanners。Hethrewoutaremotequestionortwo,withthehopeofsolvingtheriddle,but,receivingnoreply,hebecamesatisfiedthatshewasnotdisposedtobecommunicativerespectingherself,and,fearingtooffendher,felluponothertopics。Theytalkedofthescenesofthemountains,ofthedingle,theruinedcastle,thesolitarylake。Shetoldhim,thatlakelayunderthemountainsbehindherhome,andthecoracleandthepassattheextremity,savedalongcircuittothenearestvillage,whithershesometimeswenttoinquireforletters。
  Mr。Chainmailfeltcurioustoknowfromwhomtheselettersmightbe;andheagainthrewouttwoorthreefishingquestions,towhich,asbefore,heobtainednoanswer。
  TheonlylivingbipedtheymetintheirwalkwastheunfortunateHarryAp-Heather,withwhomtheyfellinbythestepping-stones,who,seeingthegirlofhishearthangingonanotherman’sarm,and,concludingatoncethattheywere"keepingcompany,"fixedonheramingledlookofsurprise,reproach,andtribulation;and,unabletocontrolhisfeelingsunderthesuddenshock,burstintoafloodoftears,andblubberedtilltherocksre-echoed。
  Theylefthimminglinghistearswiththestream,andhislamentationswithitsmurmurs。Mr。Chainmailinquiredwhothatstrangecreaturemightbe,andwhatwasthematterwithhim。Theyoungladyanswered,thathewasaveryworthyyoungman,towhomshehadbeentheinnocentcauseofmuchunhappiness。
  "Ipityhimsincerely,"saidMr。Chainmailand,nevertheless,hecouldscarcelyrestrainhislaughterattheexceedinglyoriginalfigurewhichtheunfortunaterusticloverhadpresentedbythestepping-stones。
  ThechildrenranouttomeettheirdearMissSusan,jumpedallroundher,andaskedwhatwasbecomeofherhat。Ap-Llymrycameoutingreathaste,andinvitedMr。Chainmailtowalkinanddine:
  Mr。Chainmaildidnotwaittobeaskedtwice。Inafewminutesthewholeparty,MissSusanandMr。Chainmail,Mr。andMrs。Ap-Llymry,andprogeny,wereseatedoveracleanhomespuntablecloth,ornamentedwithfowlsandbacon,apyramidofpotatoes,anotherofcabbage,whichAp-Llymrysaid"waspoiledwiththepacon,andascootasmarrow,"abowlofmilkforthechildren,andanimmensebrownjugoffoamingale,withwhichAp-Llymryseemedtodelightinfillingthehornofhisnewguest。
  Shallwedescribethespaciousapartment,whichwasatoncekitchen,hall,anddining-room,——thelargedarkrafters,thependentbaconandonions,thestrongoldoakenfurniture,thebrightandtrimly-arrangedutensils?ShallwedescribethecutofAp-Llymry’scoat,thecolourandtieofhisneckcloth,thenumberofbuttonsathisknees,——thestructureofMrs。Ap-Llymry’scap,havinglappetsovertheears,whichwereunitedunderthechin,settingforthespeciallywhetherthebondofunionwereapinoraribbon?Weshallleavethistemptingfieldofinterestingexpatiationtothosewhosebrainsarehigh-pressuresteam-enginesforspinningprosebythefurlong,tobetrumpetedinpaid-forparagraphsinthequack’scornerofnewspapers:modernliteraturehavingattainedthehonourabledistinctionofsharing,withblackingandMacassaroil,thespacewhichusedtobemonopolisedbyrazor-stropsandthelottery;wherebythatveryenlightenedcommunity,thereadingpublic,istrickedintotheperusalofmuchexemplarynonsense;thoughthefewwhoseethroughthetrickeryhavenoreasontocomplain,sinceas"goodwineneedsnobush,"so,exvioppositi,thesebushesofvenalpanegyricpointoutveryclearlythatthethingstheycelebratearenotworthreading。
  Thepartydinedverycomfortablyinacornermostremotefromthefire:andMr。Chainmailverysoonfoundhisheadswimmingwithtwoorthreehornsofale,ofapotencytowhichevenhewasunaccustomed。AfterdinnerAp-Llymrymadehimfinishabottleofmead,whichhewillinglyaccepted,bothasanexcusetoremainandasadrinkofthedarkages,whichhehadnodoubtwasagenuinebrewagefromuncorruptedtradition。
  Inthemeantime,assoonastheclothwasremoved,thechildrenhadbroughtoutMissSusannah’sharp。Shebegan,withoutaffectation,toplayandsingtothechildren,aswashercustomofanafternoon,firstintheirownlanguage,andtheirnationalmelodies,theninEnglish;butshewassooninterruptedbyageneralcalloflittlevoicesfor"Ouf!digiorno。"Shecompliedwiththerequest,andsangtheballadfromPaer’sCamilla:"Undicarcoilmulinaro。"Thechildrenwereveryfamiliarwitheverysyllableofthisballad,whichhadbeenoftenfullyexplainedtothem。Theydancedinacirclewiththeburdenofeveryverse,shoutingoutthechoruswithgoodarticulationandjoyousenergy;
  andattheendofthesecondstanza,wherethetravellerhashisnosepinchedbyhisgrandmother’sghost,everynoseinthepartywasnippedbyapairoflittlefingers。Mr。Chainmail,whowasnotpreparedfortheprocess,cameinforaveryenergetictweakfromachubbygirlthatsprangsuddenlyonhiskneesforthepurpose,andmadetheroofringwithherlaughter。
  Sopassedthetimetillevening,whenMr。Chainmailmovedtodepart。Butitturnedoutoninquirythathewassomemilesfromhisinn,thatthewaywasintricate,andthathemustnotmakeanydifficultyaboutacceptingthefarmer’shospitalitytillmorning。
  Theeveningsetinwithrain:thefirewasfoundagreeable;theydrewaroundit。Theyoungladymadetea;andafterwards,fromtimetotime,atMr。Chainmail’sspecialrequest,delightedhisearwithpassagesofancientmusic。Thencameasupperoflaketrout,friedonthespot,andthrown,smokinghot,fromthepantotheplate。
  Thencameabrewage,whichthefarmercalledhisnightcap,ofwhichheinsistedonMr。Chainmail’stakinghisfullshare。Afterwhichthegentlemanrememberednothingtillheawoke,thenextmorning,tothepleasantconsciousnessthathewasunderthesameroofwithoneofthemostfascinatingcreaturesunderthecanopyofheaven。
  CHAPTERXVI:THENEWSPAPER
  [Greektext]
  Sprungfromwhatline,adornsthemaidThese,valleysdeepinmountain-shade?
  PIND。Pyth。IX
  Mr。ChainmailforgottheCaptainandtherouteofGiraldusdeBarri。Hebecamesuddenlysatisfiedthattheruinedcastleinhispresentneighbourhoodwasthebestpossiblespecimenofitsclass,andthatitwasneedlesstocarryhisresearchesfurther。
  Hevisitedthefarmdaily:foundhimselfalwayswelcome;flatteredhimselfthattheyoungladysawhimwithpleasure,anddraggedaheavierchainateverynewpartingfromMissSusan,asthechildrencalledhisnymphofthemountains。Whatmightbehersecondname,hehadvainlyendeavouredtodiscover。
  Mr。Chainmailwasinlove:butthedeterminationhehadlongbeforeformedandfixedinhismind,tomarryonlyaladyofgentleblood,withoutablotinherescutcheon,repressedthedeclarationsofpassionwhichwereoftenrisingtohislips。Inthemeantimeheleftnomeansuntriedtopluckouttheheartofhermystery。
  Theyoungladysoondivinedhispassion,andpenetratedhisprejudices。Shebegantolookonhimwithfavourableeyes;butshefearedhernameandparentagewouldpresentaninsuperablebarriertohisfeudalpride。
  ThingswereinthisstatewhentheCaptainreturned,andunpackedhismapsandbooksintheparlouroftheinn。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Really,Captain,Ifindsomanyobjectsofattractioninthisneighbourhood,thatIwouldgladlypostponeourpurpose。
  CAPTAINFITZCHROME。Undoubtedlythisneighbourhoodhasmanyattractions;butthereissomethingveryinvitingintheschemeyoulaiddown。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。NodoubtthereissomethingverytemptingintherouteofGiraldusdeBarri。Buttherearebetterthingsinthisvicinityeventhanthat。Totellyouthetruth,Captain,Ihavefalleninlove。
  CAPTAINFITZCHROME。What!whileIhavebeenaway?
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Evenso。
  CAPTAINFITZCHROME。Theplungemusthavebeenverysudden,ifyouarealreadyoverheadandears。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。AsdeepasLlyn-y-dreiddiad-vrawd。
  CAPTAINFITZCHROME。Andwhatmaythatbe?
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Apoolnotfaroff:aresting-placeofamountainstreamwhichissaidtohavenobottom。Thereisatraditionconnectedwithit;andhereisaballadonit,atyourservice。
  LLYN-Y-DREIDDIAD-VRAWD。
  THEPOOLOFTHEDIVINGFRIAR。
  Gwenwynwynwithdrewfromthefeastsofhishall:
  Hesleptverylittle,heprayednotatall:
  Hepondered,andwandered,andstudiedalone;
  Andsought,nightandday,thephilosopher’sstone。
  Hefounditatlength,andhemadeitsfirstproofByturningtogoldalltheleadofhisroof:
  Thenheboughtsomemagnanimousheroes,allfire,Wholivedbuttosmiteandbesmittenforhire。
  Withtheseontheplainslikeatorrenthebroke;
  Hefilledthewholecountrywithflameandwithsmoke;
  Hekilledalltheswine,andhebroachedallthewine;
  Hedroveoffthesheep,andthebeeves,andthekine;
  Hetookcastlesandtowns;hecutshortlimbsandlives;
  Hemadeorphansandwidowsofchildrenandwives:
  Thiscoursemanyyearshetriumphantlyran,Anddidmischiefenoughtobecalledagreatman。
  When,atlast,hehadgainedallforwhichheheldstriven,Hebethoughthimofbuyingapassporttoheaven;
  Goodandgreatashewas,yethedidnotwellknow,Howsoon,orwhichway,hisgreatspiritmightgo。
  Hesoughtthegreyfriars,whobesideawildstream,Refectedtheirframesonaprimitivescheme;
  ThegravestandwisestGwenwynwynfoundout,Alllonelyandghostly,andanglingfortrout。
  Belowthewhitedashofamightycascade,Whereapoolofthestreamadeepresting-placemade,Androck-rootedoaksstretchedtheirbranchesonhigh,Thefriarstoodmusing,andthrowinghisfly。
  TohimsaidGwenwynwyn,"Hold,father,here’sstore,Forthegoodofthechurch,andthegoodofthepoor;"
  Thenhegavehimthestone;but,eremorehecouldspeak,Wrathcameonthefriar,soholyandmeek。
  Hehadstretchedforthhishandtoreceivetheredgold,AndhethoughthimselfmockedbyGwenwynwyntheBold;
  Andinscornofthegift,andinrageatthegiver,Hejerkeditimmediatelyintotheriver。
  Gwenwynwyn,aghast,notasyllablespake;
  Thephilosopher’sstonemadeaduckandadrake;
  Twosystemsofcirclesamomentwereseen,Andthestreamsmoothedthemoff,astheyneverhadbeen。
  Gwenwynwynregained,andupliftedhisvoice,"Ohfriar,greyfriar,fullrashwasthychoice;
  Thestone,thegoodstone,whichawaythouhastthrown,Wasthestoneofallstones,thephilosopher’sstone。"
  Thefriarlookedpale,whenhiserrorheknew;
  Thefriarlookedred,andthefriarlookedblue;
  Andheelsoverhead,fromthepointofarock,Heplunged,withoutstoppingtopulloffhisfrock。
  Hedivedverydeep,buthedivedallinvain,Theprizehehadslightedhefoundnotagain;
  Manytimesdidthefriarhisdivingrenew,Anddeeperanddeepertheriverstillgrew。
  Gwenwynwyngazedlong,ofhissensesindoubt,Toseethegreyfriaradiversostout;
  Thensadlyandslowlyhiscastlehesought,Andleftthefriardiving,likedabchickdistraught。
  Gwenwynwynfellsickwithalarmanddespite,Died,andwenttothedevil,theverysamenight;
  ThemagnanimousheroesheheldinhispaySackedhiscastle,andmarchedwiththeplunderaway。
  NoknellonthesilenceofmidnightwasrolledFortheflightofthesoulofGwenwynwyntheBold。
  Thebrethren,unfeed,letthemightyghostpass,Withoutprayingaprayer,orintoningamass。
  Thefriarhauntedeverbesidethedarkstream;
  Thephilosopher’sstonewashisthoughtandhisdream:
  Anddayafterday,everheadunderheelsHedivedallthetimehecouldsparefromhismeals。
  Hedived,andhedived,totheendofhisdays,Asthepeasantsoftwitnessedwithfearandamaze。
  Themadfriar’sdiving-placelongwastheirtheme,Andnoplummetcanfathomthatpoolofthestream。
  Andstill,whenlightcloudsonthemidnightwindsride,Ifbymoonlightyoustrayontheloneriver-side,Theghostofthefriarmaybeseendivingthere,Withheadinthewater,andheelsintheair。
  CAPTAINFITZCHROME。Well,yourballadisverypleasant:youshallshowmethescene,andIwillsketchit;butjustnowIammoreinterestedaboutyourlove。Whatheroineofthetwelfthcenturyhasrisenfromtheruinsoftheoldcastle,andlookeddownonyoufromtheiviedbattlements?
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Youarenearerthemarkthanyousuppose。Evenfromthosebattlementsaheroineofthetwelfthcenturyhaslookeddownonme。
  CAPTAINFITZCHROME。Oh!somevisionofanidealbeauty。Isupposethewholewillendinanothertraditionandaballad。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Genuinefleshandblood;asgenuineasLadyClarinda。Iwilltellyouthestory。
  Mr。Chainmailnarratedhisadventures。
  CAPTAINFITZCHROME。Thenyouseemtohavefoundwhatyouwished。
  Chancehasthrowninyourwaywhatnoneofthegodswouldhaveventuredtopromiseyou。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Yes,butIknownothingofherbirthandparentage。
  Shetellsmenothingofherself,andIhavenorighttoquestionherdirectly。
  CAPTAINFITZCHROME。Sheappearstobeexpresslydestinedforthelightofyourbaronialhall。Introducemeinthiscase,twoheadsarebetterthanone。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。No,Ithankyou。Leavemetomanagemychanceofaprize,andkeepyoutoyourownchanceofa-
  CAPTAINFITZCHROME。Blank。Asyouplease。Well,Iwillpitchmytenthere,tillIhavefilledmyportfolio,andshallbegladofasmuchofyourcompanyasyoucansparefrommoreattractivesociety。
  Matterswentonprettysmoothlyforseveraldays,whenanunluckynewspaperthrewallintoconfusion。Mr。Chainmailreceivednewspapersbythepost,whichcameinthreetimesaweek。Onemorning,overtheirhalf-finishedbreakfast,theCaptainhadreadhalfanewspaperverycomplacently,whensuddenlyhestartedupinafrenzy,hurledoverthebreakfasttable,and,bouncingfromtheapartment,knockeddownHarryApHeather,whowascominginatthedoortochallengehissupposedrivaltoaboxing-match。
  Harrysprangup,inadoublerage,andinterceptedMr。Chainmail’spursuitoftheCaptain,placinghimselfinthedoorway,inapugilisticattitude。Mr。Chainmail,notbeingdisposedforthismodeofcombat,steppedbackintotheparlour,tookthepokerinhisrighthand,anddisplacingtheloosebottomofalargeelbowchair,threwitoverhisleftarmasashield。Harry,notlikingtheaspectoftheenemyinthisimposingattitude,retreatedwithbackwardstepsintothekitchen,andtumbledoveracur,whichimmediatelyfastenedonhisrear。
  Mr。Chainmail,half-laughing,half-vexed,anxioustoovertaketheCaptain,andcurioustoknowwhatwasthematterwithhim,pocketedthenewspaper,andsalliedforth,leavingHarryroaringforadoctorandtailor,torepairthelacerationsofhisoutwardman。
  Mr。ChainmailcouldfindnotraceoftheCaptain。Indeed,hesoughthimbutinonedirection,whichwasthatleadingtothefarm;wherehearrivedinduetime,andfoundMissSusanalone。Helaidthenewspaperonthetable,aswashiscustom,andproceededtoconversewiththeyounglady:aconversationofmanypauses,asmuchofsignsasofwords。Theyoungladytookupthepaper,andturneditoverandover,whileshelistenedtoMr。Chainmail,whomshefoundeverydaymoreandmoreagreeable,whensuddenlyhereyeglancedonsomethingwhichmadeherchangecolour,anddroppingthepaperontheground,sherosefromherseat,exclaiming:
  "Miserablemustshebewhotrustsanyofyourfaithlesssex!never,never,never,willIenduresuchmiserytwice。"Andshevanishedupthestairs。Mr。Chainmailwaspetrified。Atlength,hecriedaloud:"CorneliusAgrippamusthavelaidaspellonthisaccursednewspaper;"andwasturningitover,tolookforthesourceofthemischief,whenMrs。ApLlymrymadeherappearance。
  MRS。APLLYMRY。WhathaveyoudonetopoordearMissSusan?sheiscryingreadytobreakherheart。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。SohelpmethememoryofRichardCoeur-de-Lion,I
  havenotthemostdistantnotionofwhatisthematter。
  MRS。APLLYMRY。Oh,don’ttellme,sir;youmusthaveill-usedher。Iknowhowitis。Youhavebeenkeepingcompanywithher,asifyouwantedtomarryher;andnow,allatonce,youhavebeeninsultingher。Ihaveseensuchtricksmorethanonce,andyououghttobeashamedofyourself。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Mydearmadam,youwrongmeutterly。Ihavenonebutthekindestfeelingsandthemosthonourablepurposestowardsher。Shehasbeendisturbedbysomethingshehasseeninthisrascallypaper。
  MRS。APLLYMRY。Why,then,thebestthingyoucandoistogoaway,andcomeagaintomorrow。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。NotI,indeed,madam。OutofthishouseIstirnot,tillIhaveseentheyounglady,andobtainedafullexplanation。
  MRS。APLLYMRY。IwilltellMissSusanwhatyousay。Perhapsshewillcomedown。
  Mr。Chainmailsatwithasmuchpatienceashecouldcommand,runningoverthepaper,fromcolumntocolumn。AtlengthhelightedonanannouncementoftheapproachingmarriageofLadyClarindaBossnowlwithMr。Crotchettheyounger。ThisexplainedtheCaptain’sdiscomposure,butthecauseofMissSusan’swasstilltobesought:hecouldnotknowthatitwasoneandthesame。
  Presently,thesoundofthelonged-forstepwasheardonthestairs;theyoungladyreappeared,andresumedherseat:hereyesshowedthatshehadbeenweeping。Thegentlemanwasnowexceedinglypuzzledhowtobegin,buttheyoungladyrelievedhimbyasking,withgreatsimplicity:"Whatdoyouwishtohaveexplained,sir?"
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Iwish,ifImaybepermitted,toexplainmyselftoyou。YetcouldIfirstwishtoknowwhatitwasthatdisturbedyouinthisunluckypaper。HappyshouldIbeifIcouldremovethecauseofyourinquietude!
  MISSSUSANNAH。Thecauseisalreadyremoved。Isawsomethingthatexcitedpainfulrecollections;nothingthatIcouldnowwishotherwisethanasitis。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Yet,mayIaskwhyitisthatIfindonesoaccomplishedlivinginthisobscurity,andpassingonlybythenameofMissSusan?
  MISSSUSANNAH。Theworldandmynamearenotfriends。Ihavelefttheworld,andwishtoremainforeverastrangertoallwhomI
  onceknewinit。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Youcanhavedonenothingtodishonouryourname。
  MISSSUSANNAH。No,sir。Myfatherhasdonethatofwhichtheworlddisapproves,inmattersofwhichIpretendnottojudge。I
  havesufferedforitasIwillneversufferagain。Mynameismyownsecret:Ihavenoother,andthatisonenotworthknowing。
  YouseewhatIam,andallIam。Iliveaccordingtotheconditionofmypresentfortune,andhere,soliving,Ihavefoundtranquillity。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Yet,Ientreatyou,tellmeyourname。
  MISSSUSANNAH。Why,sir?
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Why,buttothrowmyhand,myheart,myfortune,atyourfeet,if。
  MISSSUSANNAH。Ifmynamebeworthyofthem。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Nay,nay,notso;ifyourhandandheartarefree。
  MISSSUSANNAH。Myhandandheartarefree;buttheymustbesoughtfrommyself,andnotfrommyname。
  Shefixedhereyesonhim,withamingledexpressionofmistrust,ofkindness,andoffixedresolution,whichthefar-goneinamoratofoundirresistible。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。ThenfromyourselfaloneIseekthem。
  MISSSUSANNAH。Reflect。Youhaveprejudicesonthescoreofparentage。Ihavenotconversedwithyousooftenwithoutknowingwhattheyare。Choosebetweenthemandme。Itoohavemyownprejudicesonthescoreofpersonalpride。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Iwouldchooseyoufromalltheworld,wereyoueventhedaughteroftheexecuteurdeshautesoeuvres,astheheroineofaromanticstoryIoncereadturnedouttobe。
  MISSSUSANNAH。Iamsatisfied。Youhavenowarighttoknowmyhistory,andifyourepent,Iabsolveyoufromallobligations。
  Shetoldhimherhistory;buthewasoutofthereachofrepentance。"Itistrue,"asatasubsequentperiodhesaidtothecaptain,"sheisthedaughterofamoney-changer:onewho,inthedaysofRichardtheFirst,wouldhavebeenpluckedbythebeardinthestreets:butsheis,accordingtomodernnotions,aladyofgentleblood。Astoherfather’srunningaway,thatisaminorconsideration:Ihavealwaysunderstood,fromMr。MacQuedy,whoisagreatoracleinthisway,thatpromisestopayoughtnottobekept;theessenceofasafeandeconomicalcurrencybeinganinterminableseriesofbrokenpromises。Thereseemstobeadifferenceamongthelearnedastothewayinwhichthepromisesoughttobebroken;butIamnotdeepenoughinthiscasuistrytoenterintosuchnicedistinctions。"
  Inafewdaystherewasawedding,apatheticleave-takingofthefarmer’sfamily,ahundredkissesfromthebridetothechildren,andpromisestwentytimesreclaimedandrenewed,tovisitthemintheensuingyear。
  CHAPTERXVII:THEINVITATION
  Acupofwine,that’sbriskandfine,Anddrinkuntothelemonmine。
  MasterSilence。
  ThisveridicoushistorybeganinMay,andtheoccurrencesalreadynarratedhavecarrieditontothemiddleofautumn。SteppingovertheintervaltoChristmas,wefindourselvesinourfirstlocality,amongthechalkhillsoftheThames;andwediscoverouroldfriend,Mr。Crotchet,intheactofacceptinganinvitation,forhimself,andanyfriendswhomightbewithhim,topasstheirChristmasDayatChainmailHall,afterthefashionofthetwelfthcentury。Mr。Crochethadassembledabouthim,forhisownChristmasfestivities,nearlythesamepartywhichwasintroducedtothereaderinthespring。Threeofthatpartywerewanting。
  Dr。Morbific,byinoculatinghimselfoncetoooftenwithnon-
  contagiousmatter,hadexplainedhimselfoutoftheworld。Mr。
  Henbanehadalsodeparted,onthewingsofaninfallibleantidote。
  Mr。Eavesdrop,havingprintedinamagazinesomeoftheafter-
  dinnerconversationsofthecastle,hadhadsentenceofexclusionpasseduponhim,onthemotionoftheReverendDoctorFolliott,asaflagitiousviolatoroftheconfidencesofprivatelife。
  MissCrotchethadbecomeLadyBossnowl,butLadyClarindahadnotyetchangedhernametoCrotchet。Shehad,ononepretenceandanother,procrastinatedthehappyevent,andthegentlemanhadnotbeenverypressing;shehad,however,accompaniedherbrotherandsister-in-law,topassChristmasatCrotchetCastle。Withthese,Mr。MacQuedy,Mr。Philpot,Mr。Trillo,Mr。Skionar,Mr。Toogood,andMr。Firedampweresittingatbreakfast,whentheReverendDoctorFolliottenteredandtookhisseatatthetable。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Well,Mr。MacQuedy,itisnowsomeweekssincewehavemet:howgoesonthemarchofmind?
  MR。MACQUEDY。Nay,sir;Ithinkyoumayseethatwithyourowneyes。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Sir,Ihaveseenit,muchtomydiscomfiture。
  Ithasmarchedintomyrickyard,andsetmystacksonfire,withchemicalmaterials,mostscientificallycompounded。Ithasmarcheduptothedoorofmyvicarage,ahundredandfiftystrong;orderedmetosurrenderhalfmytithes;consumedalltheprovisionsIhadprovidedformyauditfeast,anddrunkupmyoldOctober。Ithasmarchedinthroughmyback-parlourshutters,andoutagainwithmysilverspoons,inthedeadofthenight。Thepolicemanwhohasbeendowntoexaminesaysmyhousehasbeenbrokenopenonthemostscientificprinciples。Allthiscomesofeducation。
  MR。MACQUEDY。Iratherthinkitcomesofpoverty。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。No,sir。Robbery,perhaps,comesofpoverty,butscientificprinciplesofrobberycomeofeducation。Isupposethelearnedfriendhaswrittenasixpennytreatiseonmechanics,andtherascalswhorobbedmehavebeenreadingit。
  MR。CROTCHET。Yourhousewouldhavebeenverysafe,Doctor,iftheyhadhadnobettersciencethanthelearnedfriend’stoworkwith。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Well,sir,thatmaybe。Excellentpottedchar。
  TheLorddelivermefromthelearnedfriend。
  MR。CROTCHET。Well,Doctor,foryourcomfort,hereisadeclarationofthelearnedfriend’sthathewillnevertakeoffice。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Then,sir,hewillbeinofficenextweek。
  Peacebewithhim。Sugarandcream。
  MR。CROTCHET。But,Doctor,areyouforChainmailHallonChristmasDay?
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。ThatamI,fortherewillbeanexcellentdinner,though,peradventure,grotesquelyserved。
  MR。CROTCHET。Ihavenotseenmyneighboursinceheleftusonthecanal。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Hehasmarriedawife,andbroughtherhome。
  LADYCLARINDA。Indeed!Ifshesuitshim,shemustbeanoddity:
  itwillbeamusingtoseethemtogether。
  LORDBOSSNOWL。Veryamusing。He!He!Mr。Firedamp。IsthereanywateraboutChainmailHall?
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Anoldmoat。
  MR。FIREDAMP。Ishalldieofmalaria。
  MR。TRILLO。Shallwehaveanymusic?
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Anoldharper。
  MR。TRILLO。Thosefellowsarealwayshorridlyoutoftune。Whatwillheplay?
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Oldsongsandmarches。
  MR。SKIONAR。Amongsomanyoldthings,IhopeweshallfindOldPhilosophy。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Anoldwoman。
  MR。PHILPOT。Perhapsanoldmapoftheriverinthetwelfthcentury。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Nodoubt。
  MR。MACQUEDY。Howmanymoreoldthings?
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Oldhospitality;oldwine;oldale;alltheimagesofoldEngland;anoldbutler。
  MR。TOOGOOD。Shallweallbewelcome?
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Heartily;youwillbeslappedontheshoulder,andcalledOldBoy。
  LORDBOSSNOWL。Ithinkweshouldallgoinouroldclothes。He!
  He!
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Youwillsitonoldchairs,roundanoldtable,bythelightofoldlamps,suspendedfrompointedarches,which,Mr。Chainmailsays,firstcameintouseinthetwelfthcentury,witholdarmouronthepillarsandoldbannersintheroof。
  LADYCLARINDA。Andwhatcuriouspieceofantiquityistheladyofthemansion?
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Noantiquitythere;none。
  LADYCLARINDA。Whowasshe?
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。ThatIknownot。
  LADYCLARINDA。Haveyouseenher?
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Ihave。
  LADYCLARINDA。Isshepretty?
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。More,——beautiful。AsubjectforthepenofNonnusorthepencilofZeuxis。Featuresofallloveliness,radiantwithallvirtueandintelligence。AfaceforAntigone。A
  formatonceplumpandsymmetrical,that,ifitbedecoroustodivineitbyexternals,wouldhavebeenamodelfortheVenusofCnidos。Neverwasanythingsogoodlytolookon,thepresentcompanyexcepted;andpoordearMrs。Folliott。Shereadsmoralphilosophy,Mr。MacQuedy,whichindeedshemightaswellletalone;shereadsItalianpoetry,Mr。Skionar;shesingsItalianmusic,Mr。Trillo;but,withallthis,shehasthegreatestoffemalevirtues,forshesuperintendsthehouseholdandlooksafterherhusband’sdinner。Ibelieveshewasamountaineer:[Greektext]{1}asNonnussweetlysings。
  CHAPTERXVIII:CHAINMAILHALL
  Vousautresdictesqueignoranceestmeredetousmaulx,etdictesvray:maistoutesfoysvousnelabannissezmyedevosentendemens,etvivezenelle,avecqueselle,etparelle。C’estpourquoytantdemaulxvousmeshaignentdejourenjour。——RABELIAS,1。5。c。7。
  ThepartywhichwasassembledonChristmasDayinChainmailHallcomprisedalltheguestsofCrotchetCastle,someofMr。
  Chainmail’sotherneighbours,allhistenantsanddomestics,andCaptainFitzchrome。Thehallwasspaciousandlofty;andwithitstallflutedpillarsandpointedarches,itswindowsofstainedglass,itsdisplayofarmsandbannersintermingledwithhollyandmistletoe,itsblazingcressetsandtorches,andastupendousfireinthecentre,onwhichblocksofpinewereflamingandcrackling,hadastrikingeffectoneyesunaccustomedtosuchadining-room。
  Thefirewasopenonallsides,andthesmokewascaughtandcarriedbackunderafunnel-formedcanopyintoahollowcentralpillar。Thisfirewasthelineofdemarcationbetweengentleandsimpleondaysofhighfestival。Tablesextendedfromitontwosidestonearlytheendofthehall。
  Mrs。Chainmailwasintroducedtothecompany。YoungCrotchetfeltsomerevulsionoffeelingattheunexpectedsightofonewhomhehadforsaken,butnotforgotten,inaconditionapparentlysomuchhappierthanhisown。Theladyheldoutherhandtohimwithacordiallookofmorethanforgiveness;itseemedtosaythatshehadmuchtothankhimfor。Shewasthepictureofahappybride,rayonnantedejoieetd’amour。
  Mr。CrotchettoldtheReverendDoctorFolliottthenewsofthemorning。"Asyoupredicted,"hesaid,"yourfriend,thelearnedfriend,isinoffice;hehasalsoatitle;heisnowSirGuydeVaux。"
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Thankheavenforthat!heisdisarmedfromfurthermischief。Itissomething,atanyrate,tohavethathollowandwind-shakenreedrootedupforeverfromthefieldofpublicdelusion。
  MR。CROTCHET。Isuppose,Doctor,youdonotliketoseeagreatreformerinoffice;youareafraidforyourvestedinterests。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。NotI,indeed,sir;myvestedinterestsareverysafefromallsuchreformersasthelearnedfriend。I
  vaticinatewhatwillbetheupshotofallhisschemesofreform。
  Hewillmakeaspeechofsevenhours’duration,andthiswillbeitsquintessence:that,seeingtheexceedingdifficultyofputtingsaltonthebird’stail,itwillbeexpedienttoconsiderthebestmethodofthrowingdustinthebird’seyes。Alltherestwillbe[Greektextinverse]
  asAristophaneshasit;andsoIleavehim,inNephelococcygia。
  Mr。MacQuedycameuptothedivineasMr。Crotchetlefthim,andsaid:"Thereisonepieceofnewswhichtheoldgentlemanhasnottoldyou。ThegreatfirmofCatchflatandCompany,inwhichyoungCrotchetisapartner,hasstoppedpayment。"
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Blessme!thataccountsfortheyounggentleman’smelancholy。Ithoughttheywouldoverreachthemselveswiththeirowntricks。Thedayofreckoning,Mr。MacQuedy,isthepointwhichyourpaper-moneysciencealwaysleavesoutofview。
  MR。MACQUEDY。Idonotsee,sir,thatthefailureofCatchflatandCompanyhasanythingtodowithmyscience。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Ithasthistodowithit,sir,thatyouwouldturnthewholenationintoagreatpaper-moneyshop,andtakenothoughtofthedayofreckoning。Butthedinneriscoming。I
  thinkyou,whoaresofondofpaperpromises,shoulddineonthebilloffare。
  Theharperattheheadofthehallstruckupanancientmarch,andthedisheswerebroughtin,ingrandprocession。
  Theboar’shead,garnishedwithrosemary,withacitroninitsmouth,ledthevan。Thencametureensofplum-porridge;thenaseriesofturkeys,andinthemidstofthemanenormoussausage,whichitrequiredtwomentocarry。Thencamegeeseandcapons,tonguesandhams,theancientgloryoftheChristmaspie,agiganticplumpudding,apyramidofmincepies,andabaronofbeefbringinguptherear。
  "Itissomethingnewunderthesun,"saidthedivine,ashesatdown,"toseeagreatdinnerwithoutfish。"
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Fishwasforfastsinthetwelfthcentury。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Well,sir,Ipreferourreformedsystemofputtingfastsandfeaststogether。Notbuthereisampleindemnity。
  Aleandwineflowedinabundance。Thedinnerpassedoffmerrily:
  theoldharperplayingallthewhiletheoldestmusicinhisrepertory。Thetablesbeingcleared,heindemnifiedhimselfforlosttimeatthelowerendofthehall,incompanywiththeoldbutlerandtheotherdomestics,whoseattendanceonthebanquethadbeenindispensable。
  TheschemeofChristmasgambols,whichMr。Chainmailhadlaidfortheevening,wasinterruptedbyatremendousclamourwithout。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Whathavewehere?Mummers?
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Nay,Iknownot。Iexpectnone。
  "Whoisthere?"headded,approachingthedoorofthehall。
  "Whoisthere?"vociferatedthedivine,withthevoiceofStentor。
  "CaptainSwing,"repliedachorusofdiscordantvoices。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Ho,ho!hereisapieceofthedarkageswedidnotbargainfor。HereistheJacquerie。Hereisthemarchofmindwithawitness。
  MR。MACQUEDY。Doyounotseethatyouhavebroughtdisparatestogether?theJacquerieandthemarchofmind。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Notatall,sir。Theyarethesamething,underdifferentnames。[Greektext]。WhatwasJacquerieinthedarkagesisthemarchofmindinthisveryenlightenedone——veryenlightenedone。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Thecauseisthesameinboth;povertyindespair。
  MR。MACQUEDY。Verylikely;buttheeffectisextremelydisagreeable。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Itisthenaturalresult,Mr。MacQuedy,ofthatsystemofstateseamanshipwhichyourscienceupholds。
  Puttingthecrewonshortallowance,anddoublingtherationsoftheofficers,isthesurewaytomakeamutinyonboardashipindistress,Mr。MacQuedy。
  MR。MACQUEDY。Eh!sir,Iupholdnosuchsystemasthat。Ishallsetyourightastocauseandeffect。Discontentariseswiththeincreaseofinformation。Thatisall。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Isaiditwasthemarchofmind。Butwehavenottimefordiscussingcauseandeffectnow。Letusgetridoftheenemy。
  Andhevociferatedatthetopofhisvoice,"Whatdoyouwanthere?""Arms,arms,"repliedahundredvoices,"Giveusthearms。"
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Yousee,Mr。Chainmail,thisistheinconvenienceofkeepinganarmourynotfortifiedwithsandbags,greenbags,andoldbagsofallkinds。
  MR。MACQUEDY。Justgivethemtheoldspitsandtoastingirons,andtheywillgoawayquietly。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Myspearsandswords!notwithoutmylife。Theseassailantsareallalienstomylandandhouse。Mymenwillfightforme,oneandall。Thisisthefortressofbeefandale。
  MR。MACQUEDY。Eh!sir,whentherabbleisup,itisveryindiscriminating。Youaree’ensufferingforthesinsofSirSimonSteeltrapandthelike,whohavepushedtheprincipleofaccumulationalittletoofar。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Thewaytokeepthepeopledowniskindandliberalusage。
  MR。MACQUEDY。Thatisverywell(whereitcanbeafforded)inthewayofprevention;butinthewayofcuretheoperationmustbemoredrastic。(Takingdownabattle-axe。)Iwouldfainhaveagoodblunderbusschargedwithslugs。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。WhenIsuspendedthesearmsforornament,Ineverdreamedoftheirbeingcalledintouse。
  MR。SKIONAR。Letmeaddressthem。Ineverfailedtoconvinceanaudiencethatthebestthingtheycoulddowastogoaway。
  MR。MACQUEDY。Eh!sir,Icanbringthemtothatconclusioninlesstimethanyou。
  MR。CROTCHET。Ihavenofancyforfighting。Itisaveryhardcaseuponaguest,whenthelatterendofafeastisthebeginningofafray。
  MR。MACQUEDY。Givethemtheoldiron。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Givethemtheweapons!Pessimo,mediusfidius,exemplo。ForbiditthespiritofFrereJeandesEntommeures!No!
  letusseewhatthechurchmilitant,inthearmourofthetwelfthcentury,willdoagainstthemarchofmind。Followmewhowill,andstaywholist。Heregoes:Proarisetfocis!thatis,fortithepigsandfirestoroastthem。
  Heclappedahelmetonhishead,seizedalonglance,threwopenthegates,andtiltedoutontherabble,sidebysidewithMr。
  Chainmail,followedbythegreaterportionofthemaleinmatesofthehall,whohadarmedthemselvesatrandom。
  Therabble-rout,beingunpreparedforsuchasortie,fledinalldirections,overhedgeandditch。
  Mr。Trillostayedinthehall,playingamarchontheharp,toinspirittheresttosallyout。Thewater-lovingMr。Philpothaddilutedhimselfwithsomuchwineastobequitehorsdecombat。
  Mr。Toogood,intendingtoequiphimselfinpurelydefensivearmour,contrivedtoslipaponderouscoatofmailoverhisshoulders,whichpinionedhisarmstohissides;andinthiscondition,likeachickentrussedforroasting,hewasthrowndownbehindapillarinthefirstrushofthesortie。Mr。Crotchetseizedtheoccurrenceasapretextforstayingwithhim,andpassedthewholetimeoftheactioninpickinghimoutofhisshell。
  "Phew!"saidthedivine,returning;"aningloriousvictory;butitdeservesadevilandabowlofpunch。"
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Awassail-bowl。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。No,sir。Nomoreofthetwelfthcenturyforme。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Nay,Doctor。Thetwelfthcenturyhasbackedyouwell。Itsmannersandhabits,itscommunityofkindfeelingsbetweenmasterandman,arethetrueremedyfortheseebullitions。
  MR。TOOGOOD。Somethinglikeit:improvedbymydiagram:artsforarms。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Nowassail-bowlforme。Givemeanunsophisticatedbowlofpunch,whichbelongstothatblissfulmiddleperiod,aftertheJacqueriewasdown,andbeforethemarchofmindwasup。But,see,whoisflounderinginthewater?
  Proceedingtotheedgeofthemoat,theyfishedupMr。Firedamp,whohadmissedhiswayback,andtumbledin。Hewasdrawnout,exclaiming,"thathehadtakenhislastdoseofmalariainthisworld。"
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Tut,man;dryclothes,aturkey’slegandrump,welldevilled,andaquartofstrongpunch,willsetalltorights。
  "Woodembers,"saidMr。Firedamp,whenhehadbeenaccommodatedwithachangeofclothes,"thereisnoantidotetomalarialikethesmokeofwoodembers;pineembers。"Andheplacedhimself,withhismouthopen,closebythefire。
  REV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Punch,sir,punch:thereisnoantidotelikepunch。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。Well,Doctor,youshallbeindulged。ButIshallhavemywassail-bowl,nevertheless。
  Animmensebowlofspicedwine,withroastedappleshissingonitssurface,wasborneintothehallbyfourmen,followedbyanemptybowlofthesamedimensions,withallthematerialsofarrackpunch,forthedivine’sespecialbrewage。Heaccingedhimselftothetaskwithhisusualheroism,andhavingfinishedittohisentiresatisfaction,remindedhishosttoorderinthedevilREV。DR。FOLLIOTT。Ithink,Mr。Chainmail,wecanamuseourselvesverywellhereallnight。Theenemymaybestillexcubant:andwehadbetternotdispersetilldaylight。Iamperfectlysatisfiedwithmyquarters。Lettheyoungfolkgoonwiththeirgambols;letthemdancetoyouroldharper’sminstrelsy;andiftheypleasetokissunderthemistletoe,whereofIespyagoodlybunchsuspendedattheendofthehall,letthosewholikeitnotleaveittothosewhodo。Moreover,ifamongthemoresedateportionoftheassembly,which,Iforesee,willkeepmecompany,therewereanytorevivethegoodoldcustomofsingingaftersupper,sotofilluptheintervalsofthedances,thestepsofnightwouldmovemorelightly。
  MR。CHAINMAIL。MySusanwillsettheexample,aftershehassetthatofjoiningintherusticdance,accordingtogoodcustomslongdeparted。
  Afterthefirstdance,inwhichallclassesofthecompanymingled,theyoungladyofthemansiontookherharp,andfollowingthereverendgentleman’ssuggestion,sangasongofthetwelfthcentury。
  FLORENCEANDBLANCHFLOR。
  FlorenceandBlanchflor,loveliestmaids,Withinasummergrove,Amidtheflower-enamelledshadesTogethertalkedoflove。
  AclerksweetBlanchflor’shearthadgain’d;
  FairFlorencelovedaknight:
  AndeachwithardentvoicemaintainedShelovedtheworthiestwight。
  SweetBlanchflorpraisedherscholardear,Ascourteous,kind,andtrue!
  FairFlorencesaidherchevalierCouldeveryfoesubdue。
  AndFlorencescornedthebookwormvain,Whoswordnorspearcouldraise;
  AndBlanchflorscornedtheunletteredbrainCouldsingnolady’spraise。
  Fromdearestlove,themaidensbrightTodeadlyhatredfell,Eachturnedtoshuntheother’ssight,Andneithersaidfarewell。
  Thekingofbirds,whoheldhiscourtWithinthatflowerygrove,Sangloudly:"’TwillberaredisportTojudgethissuitoflove。"
  Beforehimcamethemaidensbright,Withallhisbirdsaround,Tojudgethecause,ifclerkorknightInlovebeworthiestfound。
  Thefalconandthesparrow-hawkStoodforwardforthefight:
  Readytodo,andnottotalk,Theyvotedfortheknight。
  AndBlanchflor’sheartbegantofail,Tillrosethestrong-voicedlark,And,afterhim,thenightingale,Andpleadedfortheclerk。
  Thenightingaleprevailedatlength,Herpleadinghadsuchcharms;
  Soeloquencecanconquerstrength,Andartscanconquerarms。
  ThelovelyFlorencetoreherhair,Anddiedupontheplace;
  AndallthebirdsassembledthereBewailedthemournfulcase。
  TheypiledupleavesandfloweretsrareAbovethemaidenbright,Andsang:"FarewelltoFlorencefair,Whotoowelllovedherknight。"
  Severalothersofthepartysangintheintervalsofthedances。
  Mr。ChainmailhandedtoMr。Trilloanotherballadofthetwelfthcentury,ofamerriercharacterthantheformer。Mr。Trilloreadilyaccommodateditwithanair,andsang:
  THEPRIESTANDTHEMULBERRYTREE。
  Didyouhearofthecuratewhomountedhismare,Andmerrilytrottedalongtothefair?
  Ofcreaturemoretractablenoneeverheard;
  Intheheightofherspeedshewouldstopataword,Andagainwithaword,whenthecuratesaidHey,Sheputforthhermettle,andgallopedaway。
  Asneartothegatesofthecityherode,WhilethesunofSeptemberallbrilliantlyglowed,Thegoodpriestdiscovered,witheyesofdesire,Amulberrytreeinahedgeofwildbriar,Onboughslongandlofty,inmanyagreenshoot,Hunglarge,black,andglossy,thebeautifulfruit。
  Thecuratewashungry,andthirstytoboot;
  Heshrunkfromthethorns,thoughhelongedforthefruit;
  Withawordhearrestedhiscourser’skeenspeed,Andhestooduperectonthebackofhissteed;
  Onthesaddlehestood,whilethecreaturestoodstill,Andhegatheredthefruit,tillhetookhisgoodfill。
  "Surenever,"hethought,"wasacreaturesorare,Sodocile,sotrue,asmyexcellentmare。
  Lo,here,howIstand"(andhegazedallaround),"Assafeandassteadyasifontheground,Yethowhaditbeen,ifsometravellerthisway,Had,dreamingnomischief,butchancedtocryHey?"
  Hestoodwithhisheadinthemulberrytree,Andhespokeoutaloudinhisfondreverie。
  Atthesoundoftheword,thegoodmaremadeapush,Anddownwentthepriestinthewild-briarbush。
  Herememberedtoolate,onhisthornygreenbed,Muchthatwellmaybethoughtcannotwiselybesaid。
  LadyClarinda,beingprevailedontotaketheharpinherturn,sangthefollowingstanzas。
  Inthedaysofold,Loversfelttruepassion,DeemingyearsofsorrowByasmilerepaid。
  Nowthecharmsofgold,Spellsofprideandfashion,BidthemsaygoodmorrowTothebest-lovedmaid。
  Throughtheforestswild,O’erthemountainslonely,TheywereneverwearyHonourtopursue。
  IfthedamselsmiledOnceinsevenyearsonly,AlltheirwanderingsdrearyAmpleguerdonknew。
  Nowoneday’scapriceWeighsdownyearsofsmiling,Youthfulheartsarerovers,Loveisboughtandsold:
  Fortune’sgiftsmaycease,Loveislessbeguiling;
  WisestweretheloversInthedaysofold。
  Theglancewhichshethrewatthecaptain,asshesangthelastverse,awakenedhisdormanthopes。Lookingroundforhisrival,hesawthathewasnotinthehall;and,approachingtheladyofhisheart,hereceivedoneofthesweetestsmilesoftheirearlierdays。
  Afteratime,theladies,andallthefemalesoftheparty,retired。Themalesremainedondutywithpunchandwassail,anddroppedoffonebyoneintosweetforgetfulness;sothatwhentherisingsunofDecemberlookedthroughthepaintedwindowsonmoulderingembersandflickeringlamps,thevaultedroofwasechoingtoamellifluousconcertofnoses,fromtheclarionetofthewaiting-boyatoneendofthehall,tothedoublebassoftheReverendDoctor,ringingovertheemptypunch-bowl,attheother。
  CONCLUSION
  Fromthiseventfulnight,youngCrotchetwasseennomoreonEnglishmould。WhitherhehadvanishedwasaquestionthatcouldnomorebeansweredinhiscasethaninthatofKingArthurafterthebattleofCamlan。ThegreatfirmofCatchflatandCompanyfiguredintheGazette,andpaidsixpenceinthepound;anditwasclearthathehadshrunkfromexhibitinghimselfonthesceneofhisformergreatness,shornofthebeamsofhispaperprosperity。
  Somesupposedhimtobesleepingamongtheundiscoverablesecretsofsomebarbel-poolintheThames;butthosewhoknewhimbestweremoreinclinedtotheopinionthathehadgoneacrosstheAtlantic,withhispocketsfullofsurpluscapital,tojoinhisoldacquaintance,Mr。Touchandgo,inthebankofDotandcarryonetown。
  LadyClarindawasmoresorryforherfather’sdisappointmentthanherown;butshehadtoomuchpridetoallowherselftobeputupasecondtimeinthemoney-market;andwhentheCaptainrenewedhisassiduities,heroldpartialityforhim,combiningwithasenseofgratitudeforadegreeofconstancywhichsheknewshescarcelydeserved,inducedher,withLordFoolincourt’shard-wrungconsent,tosharewithhimamorehumble,butlessprecariousfortune,thanthattowhichshehadbeendestinedasthepriceofarottenborough。
  Footnotes:
  {1}Amountain-wanderingmaid,Twin-nourishedwiththesolitarywood。