THEAUTHOR’SAPOLOGY
MrsWarren’sProfessionhasbeenperformedatlast，afteradelayofonlyeightyears;andIhaveoncemoresharedwithIbsenthetriumphantamusementofstartlingallbutthestrongest-headedoftheLondontheatrecriticscleanoutofthepracticeoftheirprofession。NoauthorwhohaseverknowntheexultationofsendingthePressintoanhystericaltumultofprotest，ofmoralpanic，ofinvoluntaryandfranticconfessionofsin，ofahorrorofconscienceinwhichthepowerofdistinguishingbetweentheworkofartonthestageandthereallifeofthespectatorisconfusedandoverwhelmed，willevercareforthestereotypedcomplimentswhicheverysuccessfulfarceormelodramaelicitsfromthenewspapers。GivemethatcriticwhorushedfrommyplaytodeclarefuriouslythatSirGeorgeCroftsoughttobekicked。
Whatatriumphfortheactor，thustoreduceajadedLondonjournalisttotheconditionofthesimplesailorintheWappinggallery，whoshoutsexecrationsatIagoandwarningstoOthellonottobelievehim！ButdearerstillthansuchsimplicityisthatsenseofthesuddenearthquakeshocktothefoundationsofmoralitywhichsendsapallidcrowdofcriticsintothestreetshriekingthatthepillarsofsocietyarecrackingandtheruinoftheStateisathand。EventheIbsenchampionsoftenyearsagoremonstratewithmejustastheveteransofthosebravedaysremonstratedwiththem。MrGrein，thehardyiconoclastwhofirstlaunchedmyplaysonthestagealongsideGhostsandTheWildDuck，exclaimedthatIhaveshatteredhisideals。Actuallyhisideals！WhatwouldDrRellingsay？AndMrWilliamArcherhimselfdisownsmebecauseI"cannottouchpitchwithoutwallowinginit"。TrulymyplaymustbemoreneededthanIknew;
andyetIthoughtIknewhowlittletheothersknow。
Donotsuppose，however，thattheconsternationofthePressreflectsanyconsternationamongthegeneralpublic。Anybodycanupsetthetheatrecritics，inaturnofthewrist，bysubstitutingfortheromanticcommonplacesofthestagethemoralcommonplacesofthepulpit，platform，orthelibrary。PlayMrsWarren’sProfessiontoanaudienceofclericalmembersoftheChristianSocialUnionandofwomenwellexperiencedinRescue，Temperance，andGirls’Clubwork，andnomoralpanicwillarise;
everymanandwomanpresentwillknowthataslongaspovertymakesvirtuehideousandthesparepocket-moneyofrichbachelordommakesvicedazzling，theirdailyhand-to-handfightagainstprostitutionwithprayerandpersuasion，sheltersandscantyalms，willbealosingone。Therewasatimewhentheywereabletourgethatthough"thewhite-leadfactorywhereAnneJanewaspoisoned"maybeafarmoreterribleplacethanMrsWarren’shouse，yethellisstillmoredreadful。Nowadaystheynolongerbelieveinhell;andthegirlsamongwhomtheyareworkingknowthattheydonotbelieveinit，andwouldlaughatthemiftheydid。SowellhavetherescuerslearntthatMrsWarren’sdefenceofherselfandindictmentofsocietyisthethingthatmostneedssaying，thatthosewhoknowmepersonallyreproachme，notforwritingthisplay，butforwastingmyenergieson"pleasantplays"fortheamusementoffrivolouspeople，whenIcanbuildupsuchexcellentstagesermonsontheirownwork。MrsWarren’sProfessionistheoneplayofminewhichIcouldsubmittoacensorshipwithoutdoubtoftheresult;only，itmustnotbethecensorshipoftheminortheatrecritic，norofaninnocentcourtofficialliketheLordChamberlain’sExaminer，muchlessofpeoplewhoconsciouslyprofitbyMrsWarren’sprofession，orwhopersonallymakeuseofit，orwhoholdthewidelywhisperedviewthatitisanindispensablesafety-valvefortheprotectionofdomesticvirtue，or，aboveall，whoaresmittenwithasentimentalaffectionforourfallensister，andwould"takeheruptenderly，liftherwithcare，fashionedsoslenderly，young，andSOfair。"NoramIpreparedtoaccepttheverdictofthemedicalgentlemenwhowouldcompulsorilysanitateandregisterMrsWarren，whilstleavingMrsWarren’spatrons，especiallyhermilitarypatrons，freetodestroyherhealthandanybodyelse’swithoutfearofreprisals。ButIshouldbequitecontenttohavemyplayjudgedby，say，ajointcommitteeoftheCentralVigilanceSocietyandtheSalvationArmy。Andthesternermoraliststhemembersofthecommitteewere，thebetter。
SomeofthejournalistsIhaveshockedreasonsounripelythattheywillgathernothingfromthisbutaconfusednotionthatI
amaccusingtheNationalVigilanceAssociationandtheSalvationArmyofcomplicityinmyownscandalousimmorality。Itwillseemtothemthatpeoplewhowouldstandthisplaywouldstandanything。Theyarequitemistaken。SuchanaudienceasIhavedescribedwouldberevoltedbymanyofourfashionableplays。
TheywouldleavethetheatreconvincedthatthePlymouthBrotherwhostillregardstheplayhouseasoneofthegatesofhellisperhapsthesafestadviseronthesubjectofwhichheknowssolittle。IfIdonotdrawthesameconclusion，itisnotbecauseIamoneofthosewhoclaimthatartisexemptfrommoralobligations，anddenythatthewritingorperformanceofaplayisamoralact，tobetreatedonexactlythesamefootingastheftormurderifitproducesequallymischievousconsequences。
Iamconvincedthatfineartisthesubtlest，themostseductive，themosteffectiveinstrumentofmoralpropagandaintheworld，exceptingonlytheexampleofpersonalconduct;andIwaiveeventhisexceptioninfavoroftheartofthestage，becauseitworksbyexhibitingexamplesofpersonalconductmadeintelligibleandmovingtocrowdsofunobservant，unreflectingpeopletowhomreallifemeansnothing。IhavepointedoutagainandagainthattheinfluenceofthetheatreinEnglandisgrowingsogreatthatwhilstprivateconduct，religion，law，science，politics，andmoralsarebecomingmoreandmoretheatrical，thetheatreitselfremainsimpervioustocommonsense，religion，science，politics，andmorals。ThatiswhyIfightthetheatre，notwithpamphletsandsermonsandtreatises，butwithplays;andsoeffectivedoI
findthedramaticmethodthatIhavenodoubtIshallatlastpersuadeevenLondontotakeitsconscienceanditsbrainswithitwhenitgoestothetheatre，insteadofleavingthemathomewithitsprayer-bookasitdoesatpresent。Consequently，IamthelastmanintheworldtodenythatiftheneteffectofperformingMrsWarren’sProfessionwereanincreaseinthenumberofpersonsenteringthatprofession，itsperformanceshouldbedealtwithaccordingly。
Nowletusconsiderhowsuchrecruitingcanbeencouragedbythetheatre。Nothingiseasier。LettheKing’sReaderofPlays，backedbythePress，makeanunwrittenbutperfectlywellunderstoodregulationthatmembersofMrsWarren’sprofessionshallbetoleratedonthestageonlywhentheyarebeautiful，exquisitelydressed，andsumptuouslylodgedandfed;alsothattheyshall，attheendoftheplay，dieofconsumptiontothesympathetictearsofthewholeaudience，orstepintothenextroomtocommitsuicide，oratleastbeturnedoutbytheirprotectorsandpassedontobe"redeemed"byoldandfaithfulloverswhohaveadoredtheminspiteoftheirlevities。
Naturally，thepoorergirlsinthegallerywillbelieveinthebeauty，intheexquisitedresses，andtheluxuriousliving，andwillseethatthereisnorealnecessityfortheconsumption，thesuicide，ortheejectment：merepiousforms，allofthem，tosavetheCensor’sface。Evenifthesepurelyofficialcatastrophescarriedanyconviction，themajorityofEnglishgirlsremainsopoor，sodependent，sowellawarethatthedrudgeriesofsuchhonestworkasiswithintheirreacharelikelyenoughtoleadthemeventuallytolungdisease，prematuredeath，anddomesticdesertionorbrutality，thattheywouldstillseereasontoprefertheprimrosepathtothestraitpathofvirtue，sinceboth，viceatworstandvirtueatbest，leadtothesameendinpovertyandoverwork。ItistruethattheBoardSchoolmistresswilltellyouthatonlygirlsofacertainkindwillreasoninthisway。Butalas！thatcertainkindturnsoutoninquirytobesimplythepretty，daintykind：thatis，theonlykindthatgetsthechanceofactingonsuchreasoning。ReadthefirstreportoftheCommissionontheHousingoftheWorkingClasses[BluebookC
4402，8d。，1889];readtheReportonHomeIndustries（sacredword，Home！）issuedbytheWomen’sIndustrialCouncil[HomeIndustriesofWomeninLondon，1897，1s。，12BuckinghamStreet，W。C。];andaskyourselfwhether，ifthelotinlifethereindescribedwereyourlotinlife，youwouldnotpreferthelotofCleopatra，ofTheodora，oftheLadyoftheCamellias，ofMrsTanqueray，ofZaza，ofIris。Ifyoucangodeepenoughintothingstobeabletosayno，howmanyignoranthalf-starvedgirlswillbelieveyouarespeakingsincerely？TothemthelotofIrisisheavenlyincomparisonwiththeirown。YetourKing，likehispredecessors，saystothedramatist，"Thus，andthusonly，shallyoupresentMrsWarren’sprofessiononthestage，oryoushallstarve。WitnessShaw，whotoldtheuntemptingtruthaboutit，andwhomWe，bytheGraceofGod，accordinglydisallowandsuppress，anddowhatinUsliestosilence。"Fortunately，Shawcannotbesilenced。"Theharlot’scryfromstreettostreet"islouderthanthevoicesofallthekings。Iamnotdependentonthetheatre，andcannotbestarvedintomakingmyplayastandingadvertisementoftheattractivesideofMrsWarren’sbusiness。
HereImustguardmyselfagainstamisunderstanding。Itisnotthefaultoftheirauthorsthatthelongstringofwanton’stragedies，fromAntonyandCleopatratoIris，aresnarestopoorgirls，andareobjectedtoonthataccountbymanyearnestmenandwomenwhoconsiderMrsWarren’sProfessionanexcellentsermon。MrPineroisinnowayboundtosuppressthefactthathisIrisisapersontobeenviedbymillionsofbetterwomen。
Ifhemadehisplayfalsetolifebyinventingfictitiousdisadvantagesforher，hewouldbeactingasunscrupulouslyasanytractwriter。IfsocietychoosestoprovideforitsIrisesbetterthanforitsworkingwomen，itmustnotexpecthonestplaywrightstomanufacturespuriousevidencetosaveitscredit。
Themischiefliesinthedeliberatesuppressionoftheothersideofthecase：therefusaltoallowMrsWarrentoexposethedrudgeryandrepulsivenessofplyingforhireamongcoarse，tediousdrunkards;thedeterminationnottolettheParisiangirlinBrieux’sLesAvariescomeonthestageanddriveintopeople’smindswhatherdiseasesmeanforherandforthemselves。Allthat，saystheKing’sReaderineffect，ishorrifying，loathsome。
Precisely：whatdoesheexpectittobe？wouldhehaveusrepresentitasbeautifulandgratifying？Theanswertothisquestion，Ifear，mustbeabluntYes;foritseemsimpossibletorootoutofanEnglishman’smindthenotionthatviceisdelightful，andthatabstentionfromitisprivation。Atallevents，aslongasthetemptingsideofitiskepttowardsthepublic，andsoftenedbyplentyofsentimentandsympathy，itiswelcomedbyourCensor，whereastheslightestattempttoplaceitinthelightofthepoliceman’slanternortheSalvationArmyshelterischeckmatedatonceasnotmerelydisgusting，but，ifyouplease，unnecessary。
Everybodywill，Ihope，admitthatthisstateofthingsisintolerable;thatthesubjectofMrsWarren’sprofessionmustbeeithertapualtogether，orelseexhibitedwiththewarningsideasfreelydisplayedasthetemptingside。Butmanypersonswillvoteforacompletetapu，andanimpartialsweepfromtheboardsofMrsWarrenandGretchenandtherest;inshort，forbanishingthesexualinstinctsfromthestagealtogether。Thosewhothinkthisimpossiblecanhardlyhaveconsideredthenumberandimportanceofthesubjectswhichareactuallybanishedfromthestage。Manyplays，amongthemLear，Hamlet，Macbeth，Coriolanus，JuliusCaesar，havenosexcomplications：thethreadoftheiractioncanbefollowedbychildrenwhocouldnotunderstandasinglesceneofMrsWarren’sProfessionorIris。Noneofourplaysrousethesympathyoftheaudiencebyanexhibitionofthepainsofmaternity，asChineseplaysconstantlydo。Eachnationhasitsownparticularsetoftapusinadditiontothecommonhumanstock;andthougheachofthesetapuslimitsthescopeofthedramatist，itdoesnotmakedramaimpossible。IftheExaminerweretorefusetolicenseplayswithfemalecharactersinthem，hewouldonlybedoingtothestagewhatourtribalcustomsalreadydotothepulpitandthebar。Ihavemyselfwrittenaratherentertainingplaywithonlyonewomaninit，andsheisquiteheartwhole;andIcouldjustaseasilywriteaplaywithoutawomaninitatall。IwillevengosofarastopromisetheMrRedfordmysupportifhewillintroducethislimitationforpartoftheyear，sayduringLent，soastomakeacloseseasonforthatdullestofstockdramaticsubjects，adultery，andforceourmanagersandauthorstofindoutwhatallgreatdramatistsfindoutspontaneously：towit，thatpeoplewhosacrificeeveryotherconsiderationtoloveareashopelesslyunheroiconthestageaslunaticsordipsomaniacs。Hectoristheworld’shero;notParisnorAntony。
ButthoughIdonotquestionthepossibilityofadramainwhichloveshouldbeaseffectivelyignoredascholeraisatpresent，thereisnottheslightestchanceofthatwayoutofthedifficultybeingtakenbytheMrRedford。Ifheattemptedittherewouldbearevoltinwhichhewouldbesweptawayinspiteofmysinglehandedeffortstodefendhim。Acompletetapuispoliticallyimpossible。AcompletetolerationisequallyimpossibletoMrRedford，becausehisoccupationwouldbegoneiftherewerenotaputoenforce。Heisthereforecompelledtomaintainthepresentcompromiseofapartialtapu，applied，tothebestofhisjudgement，withacarefulrespecttopersonsandtopublicopinion。AndaverysensibleEnglishsolutionofthedifficulty，too，mostreaderswillsay。IshouldnotdisputeitifdramaticpoetsreallywerewhatEnglishpublicopiniongenerallyassumesthemtobeduringtheirlifetime：thatis，alicentiouslyirregulargrouptobekeptinorderinaroughandreadywaybyamagistratewhowillstandnononsensefromthem。
ButIcannotadmitthattheclassrepresentedbyEschylus，Sophocles，Aristophanes，Euripides，Shakespear，Goethe，Ibsen，andTolstoy，nottomentionourowncontemporaryplaywrights，isasmuchinplaceinMrRedford’sofficeasapickpocketisinBowStreet。Further，itisnottruethattheCensorship，thoughitcertainlysuppressesIbsenandTolstoy，andwouldsuppressShakespearbutfortheabsurdrulethataplayoncelicensedisalwayslicensed（sothatWycherlyispermittedandShelleyprohibited），alsosuppressesunscrupulousplaywrights。I
challengeMrRedfordtomentionanyextremityofsexualmisconductwhichanymanagerinhissenseswouldriskpresentingontheLondonstagethathasnotbeenpresentedunderhislicenseandthatofhispredecessor。Thecompromise，infact，worksoutinpracticeinfavoroflooseplaysasagainstearnestones。
Tocarryconvictiononthispoint，IwilltaketheextremecourseofnarratingtheplotsoftwoplayswitnessedwithinthelasttenyearsbymyselfatLondonWestEndtheatres，onelicensedbythelateQueenVictoria’sReaderofPlays，theotherbythepresentReadertotheKing。BothplotsconformtothestrictestrulesoftheperiodwhenLaDameauxCamelliaswasstillaforbiddenplay，andwhenTheSecondMrsTanqueraywouldhavebeentoleratedonlyonconditionthatshecarefullyexplainedtotheaudiencethatwhenshemetCaptainArdaleshesinned"butinintention。"
Playnumberone。Aprinceiscompelledbyhisparentstomarrythedaughterofaneighboringking，butlovesanothermaiden。
Thescenerepresentsahallintheking’spalaceatnight。Theweddinghastakenplacethatday;andthecloseddoorofthenuptialchamberisinviewoftheaudience。Inside，theprincessawaitsherbridegroom。Aduennaisinattendance。Thebridegroomenters。Hissoledesireistoescapefromamarriagewhichishatefultohim。Anideastrikeshim。Hewillassaulttheduenna，andgetignominiouslyexpelledfromthepalacebyhisindignantfather-in-law。Tohishorror，whenheproceedstocarryoutthisstratagem，theduenna，farfromraisinganalarm，isflattered，delighted，andcompliant。Theassaulterbecomestheassaulted。Heflingsherangrilytotheground，wheresheremainsplacidly。Heflies。Thefatherenters;dismissestheduenna;andlistensatthekeyholeofhisdaughter’snuptialchamber，utteringvariouspleasantries，anddeclaring，withashiver，thatasoundofkissing，whichhesupposestoproceedfromwithin，makeshimfeelyoungagain。
Indeprecationofthescandalizedastonishmentwithwhichsuchastoryasthiswillberead，IcanonlysaythatitwasnotpresentedonthestageuntilitsproprietyhadbeencertifiedbythechiefofficeroftheQueenofEngland’shousehold。
Storynumbertwo。AGermanofficerfindshimselfinaninnwithaFrenchladywhohaswoundedhisnationalvanity。Heresolvestohumbleherbycommittingarapeuponher。Heannounceshispurpose。Sheremonstrates，implores，fliestothedoorsandfindsthemlocked，callsforhelpandfindsnoneathand，runsscreamingfromsidetoside，and，afteraharrowingscene，isoverpoweredandfaints。Nothingfurtherbeingpossibleonthestagewithoutactualfelony，theofficerthenrelentsandleavesher。Whensherecovers，shebelievesthathehascarriedouthisthreat;andduringtherestoftheplaysheisrepresentedasvainlyvowingvengeanceuponhim，whilstsheisreallyfallinginlovewithhimundertheinfluenceofhisimaginarycrimeagainsther。Finallysheconsentstomarryhim;andthecurtainfallsontheirhappiness。
ThisstorywascertifiedbythepresentKing’sReader，actingfortheLordChamberlain，asvoidinitsgeneraltendencyof"anythingimmoralorotherwiseimproperforthestage。"ButletnobodyconcludethereforethatMrRedfordisamonster，whosepolicyitistodepravethetheatre。Asamatteroffact，boththeabovestoriesarestrictlyinorderfromtheofficialpointofview。Theincidentsofsexwhichtheycontain，thoughcarriedinbothtotheextremepointatwhichanotherstepwouldbedealtwith，notbytheKing’sReader，butbythepolice，donotinvolveadultery，noranyallusiontoMrsWarren’sprofession，nortothefactthatthechildrenofanypolyandrousgroupwill，whentheygrowup，inevitablybeconfronted，asthoseofMrsWarren’sgroupareinmyplay，withtheinsolubleproblemoftheirownpossibleconsanguinity。Inshort，bydependingwhollyonthecoarsehumorsandthephysicalfascinationofsex，theycomplywithalltheformulablerequirementsoftheCensorship，whereasplaysinwhichthesehumorsandfascinationsarediscarded，andthesocialproblemscreatedbysexseriouslyfacedanddealtwith，inevitablyignoretheofficialformulaandaresuppressed。Iftheoldruleagainsttheexhibitionofillicitsexrelationsonstagewererevived，andthesubjectabsolutelybarred，theonlyresultwouldbethatAntonyandCleopatra，Othello（becauseoftheBiancaepisode），TroilusandCressida，HenryIV，MeasureforMeasure，TimonofAthens，LaDameauxCamellias，TheProfligate，TheSecondMrsTanqueray，TheNotoriousMrsEbbsmith，TheGayLordQuex，MrsDane’sDefence，andIriswouldbesweptfromthestage，andplacedunderthesamebanasTolstoy’sDominionofDarknessandMrsWarren’sProfession，whilstsuchplaysasthetwodescribedabovewouldhaveamonopolyofthetheatreasfarassexualinterestisconcerned。
Whatismore，therepulsivenessoftheworstofthecertifiedplayswouldprotecttheCensorshipagainsteffectiveexposureandcriticism。NotlongagoanAmericanReviewofhighstandingaskedmeforanarticleontheCensorshipoftheEnglishstage。
Irepliedthatsuchanarticlewouldinvolvepassagestoodisagreeableforpublicationinamagazineforgeneralfamilyreading。Theeditorpersistednevertheless;butnotuntilhehaddeclaredhisreadinesstofacethis，andhadpledgedhimselftoinsertthearticleunaltered（theparticularityofthepledgeextendingeventoaspecificationoftheexactnumberofwordsinthearticle）didIconsenttotheproposal。Whatwastheresult？
Theeditor，confrontedwiththetwostoriesgivenabove，threwhispledgetothewinds，and，insteadofreturningthearticle，printeditwiththeillustrativeexamplesomitted，andnothingleftbuttheargumentfrompoliticalprinciplesagainsttheCensorship。Indoingthishefiredmybroadsideafterwithdrawingthecannonballs;forneithertheCensornoranyotherEnglishman，exceptperhapsMrLeslieStephenandafewotherveteransofthedwindlingoldguardofBenthamism，caresadumpaboutpoliticalprinciple。TheordinaryBritonthinksthatifeveryotherBritonisnotkeptundersomeformoftutelage，themorechildishthebetter，hewillabusehisfreedomviciously。Asfarasitsprincipleisconcerned，theCensorshipisthemostpopularinstitutioninEngland;andtheplaywrightwhocriticizesitisslightedasablackguardagitatingforimpunity。ConsequentlynothingcanreallyshaketheconfidenceofthepublicintheLordChamberlain’sdepartmentexceptaremorselessandunbowdlerizednarrationofthelicentiousfictionswhichslipthroughitsnet，andarehallmarkedbyitwiththeapprovaloftheThrone。Butsincethesenarrationscannotbemadepublicwithoutgreatdifficulty，owingtotheobligationaneditorisundernottodealunexpectedlywithmattersthatarenot_virginibuspuerisque_，thechancesareheavilyinfavoroftheCensorescapingallremonstrance。WiththeexceptionofsuchcommentsasIwasabletomakeinmyowncriticalarticlesinTheWorldandTheSaturdayReviewwhenthepiecesIhavedescribedwerefirstproduced，andafewignorantprotestsbychurchmenagainstmuchbetterplayswhichtheyconfessedtheyhadnotseennorread，nothinghasbeensaidinthepressthatcouldseriouslydisturbtheeasygoingnotionthatthestagewouldbemuchworsethanitadmittedlyisbutforthevigilanceoftheKing’sReader。Thetruthis，thatnomanagerwoulddareproduceonhisownresponsibilitythepieceshecannowgetroyalcertificatesforattwoguineasperpiece。
IhastentoaddthatIbelievetheseevilstobeinherentinthenatureofallcensorship，andnotmerelyaconsequenceoftheformtheinstitutiontakesinLondon。NodoubtthereisastaggeringabsurdityinappointinganordinaryclerktoseethattheleadersofEuropeanliteraturedonotcorruptthemoralsofthenation，andtorestrainSirHenryIrving，asarogueandavagabond，frompresumingtoimpersonateSamsonorDavidonthestage，thoughanyothersortofartistmaydaubthesescripturalfiguresonasignboardorcarvethemonatombstonewithouthindrance。IftheGeneralMedicalCouncil，theRoyalCollegeofPhysicians，theRoyalAcademyofArts，theIncorporatedLawSociety，andConvocationwereabolished，andtheirfunctionshandedovertotheMrRedford，theConcertofEuropewouldpresumablydeclareEnglandmad，andtreatheraccordingly。Yet，thoughneithermedicinenorpaintingnorlawnortheChurchmouldsthecharacterofthenationaspotentlyasthetheatredoes，nothingcancomeonthestageunlessitsdimensionsadmitofitspassingthroughMrRedford’smind！PraydonotthinkthatIquestionMrRedford’shonesty。Iamquitesurethathesincerelythinksmeablackguard，andmyplayagrosslyimproperone，because，likeTolstoy’sDominionofDarkness，itproduces，astheyarebothmeanttoproduce，averystrongandverypainfulimpressionofevil。IdonotdoubtforamomentthattherapineplaywhichIhavedescribed，andwhichhelicensed，wasquiteincapableinmanuscriptofproducinganyparticulareffectonhismindatall，andthatwhenhewasoncesatisfiedthattheill-
conductedherowasaGermanandnotanEnglishofficer，hepassedtheplaywithoutstudyingitsmoraltendencies。Evenifhehadundertakenthatstudy，thereisnomorereasontosupposethatheisacompetentmoralistthanthereistosupposethatIamacompetentmathematician。Buttrulyitdoesnotmatterwhetherheisamoralistornot。LetnobodydreamforamomentthatwhatiswrongwiththeCensorshipistheshortcomingofthegentlemanwhohappensatanymomenttobeactingasCensor。Replacehimto-
morrowbyanAcademyofLettersandanAcademyofDramaticPoetry，andthenewandenlargedfilterwillstillexcludeoriginalandepoch-makingwork，whilstpassingconventional，old-
fashioned，andvulgarworkwithoutquestion。TheconclavewhichcompilestheindexoftheRomanCatholicChurchisthemostaugust，ancient，learned，famous，andauthoritativecensorshipinEurope。Isitmoreenlightened，moreliberal，moretolerantthatthecomparativelyinfinitesimalofficeoftheLordChamberlain？
Onthecontrary，ithasreduceditselftoadegreeofabsurditywhichmakesaCatholicuniversityacontradictioninterms。Allcensorshipsexisttopreventanyonefromchallengingcurrentconceptionsandexistinginstitutions。Allprogressisinitiatedbychallengingcurrentconcepts，andexecutedbysupplantingexistinginstitutions。Consequentlythefirstconditionofprogressistheremovalofcensorships。Thereisthewholecaseagainstcensorshipsinanutshell。
Itwillbeaskedwhethertheatricalmanagersaretobeallowedtoproducewhattheylike，withoutregardtothepublicinterest。
Butthatisnotthealternative。ThemanagersofourLondonmusic-hallsarenotsubjecttoanycensorship。Theyproducetheirentertainmentsontheirownresponsibility，andhavenotwo-guineacertificatestopleadiftheirhousesareconductedviciously。Theyknowthatiftheylosetheircharacter，theCountyCouncilwillsimplyrefusetorenewtheirlicenseattheendoftheyear;andnothinginthehistoryofpopularartismoreamazingthantheimprovementinmusic-hallsthatthissimplearrangementhasproducedwithinafewyears。Placethetheatresonthesamefooting，andweshallpromptlyhaveasimilarrevolution：awholeclassoffranklyblackguardlyplays，inwhichunscrupulouslowcomediansattractcrowdstogazeatbeviesofgirlswhohavenothingtoexhibitbuttheirprettiness，willvanishliketheobscenesongswhichweresupposedtoenliventhesqualiddulness，incredibletotheyoungergeneration，ofthemusic-hallsfifteenyearsago。Ontheotherhand，playswhichtreatsexquestionsasproblemsforthoughtinsteadofasaphrodisiacswillbefreelyperformed。GentlemenofMrRedford’swayofthinkingwillhaveplentyofopportunityofprotestingagainsttheminCouncil;buttheresultwillbethattheMrRedfordwillfindhisnaturallevel;IbsenandTolstoytheirs;sonoharmwillbedone。
ThisquestionoftheCensorshipremindsmethatIhavetoapologizetothosewhowenttotherecentperformanceofMrsWarren’sProfessionexpectingtofinditwhatIhavejustcalledanaphrodisiac。Thatwasnotmyfault;itwasMrRedford’s。
AfterthespecimensIhavegivenofthetoleranceofhisdepartment，itwasnaturalenoughforthoughtlesspeopletoinferthataplaywhichoversteppedhisindulgencemustbeaveryexcitingplayindeed。Accordingly，Ifindonecriticsoexplicitastothenatureofhisdisappointmentastosaycandidlythat"suchairytalkasthereisuponthematterisutterlyunworthyofacceptanceasbeingarepresentationofwhatpeoplewithbloodinthemthinkordoonsuchoccasions。"ThusamIcrushedbetweentheuppermillstoneoftheMrRedford，whothinksmealibertine，andthenetherpopularcritic，whothinksmeaprude。
Criticsofallgradesandages，middle-agedfathersoffamiliesnolessthanardentyoungenthusiasts，areequallyindignantwithme。Theyrevilemeaslackinginpassion，infeeling，inmanhood。Someofthemevensumthematterupbydenyingmeanydramaticpower：amelancholybetrayalofwhatdramaticpowerhascometomeanonourstageundertheCensorship！CanIbeexpectedtorefrainfromlaughingatthespectacleofanumberofrespectablegentlemenlamentingbecauseaplaywrightluresthemtothetheatrebyapromisetoexcitetheirsensesinaveryspecialandsensationalmanner，andthen，havingsuccessfullytrappedtheminexceptionalnumbers，proceedstoignoretheirsensesandruthlesslyimprovetheirminds？ButIprotestagainthatthelurewasnotmine。Theplayhadbeeninprintforfouryears;andIhavesparednopainstomakeknownthatmyplaysarebuilttoinduce，notvoluptuousreveriebutintellectualinterest，notromanticrhapsodybuthumaneconcern。Accordingly，Idonotfindthosecriticswhoaregiftedwithintellectualappetiteandpoliticalconsciencecomplainingofwantofdramaticpower。Ratherdotheyprotest，notaltogetherunjustly，againstafewrelapsesintostaginessandcaricaturewhichbetraytheyoungplaywrightandtheoldplaygoerinthisearlyworkofmine。
Astothevoluptuaries，Icanassurethemthattheplaywright，whetherhebemyselforanother，willalwaysdisappointthem。
Thedramacandolittletodelightthesenses：alltheapparentinstancestothecontraryareinstancesofthepersonalfascinationoftheperformers。Thedramaofpurefeelingisnolongerinthehandsoftheplaywright：ithasbeenconqueredbythemusician，afterwhoseenchantmentsalltheverbalartsseemcoldandtame。RomeoandJulietwiththeloveliestJulietisdry，tedious，andrhetoricalincomparisonwithWagner’sTristan，eventhoughIsoldebebothfourteenstoneandforty，assheoftenisinGermany。Indeed，itneedednoWagnertoconvincethepublicofthis。ThevoluptuoussentimentalityofGounod’sFaustandBizet’sCarmenhascapturedthecommonplaygoer;andthereis，flatly，nofuturenowforanydramawithoutmusicexceptthedramaofthought。Theattempttoproduceagenusofoperawithoutmusic（andthisabsurdityiswhatourfashionabletheatreshavebeendrivingatforalongtimewithoutknowingit）
isfarlesshopefulthanmyowndeterminationtoacceptproblemasthenormalmaterielofthedrama。
Thatthisdeterminationwillthrowmeintoalongconflictwithourtheatrecritics，andwiththefewplaygoerswhogotothetheatreasoftenasthecritics，Iwellknow;butIamtoowellequippedforthestrifetobedeterredbyit，ortobearmalicetowardsthelosingside。Intryingtoproducethesensuouseffectsofopera，thefashionabledramahasbecomesoflaccidinitssentimentality，andtheintellectofitsfrequenterssoatrophiedbydisuse，thatthereintroductionofproblem，withitsremorselesslogicandironframeworkoffact，inevitablyproducesatfirstanoverwhelmingimpressionofcoldnessandinhumanrationalism。Butthiswillsoonpassaway。Whentheintellectualmuscleandmoralnerveofthecriticshasbeendevelopedinthestrugglewithmodernproblemplays，thepettishluxuriousnessofthecleverones，andthesulkysenseofdisadvantagedweaknessinthesentimentalones，willclearaway;
anditwillbeseenthatonlyintheproblemplayisthereanyrealdrama，becausedramaisnomeresettingupofthecameratonature：itisthepresentationinparableoftheconflictbetweenMan’swillandhisenvironment：inaword，ofproblem。Thevapidnessofsuchdramaasthepseudo-operaticplayscontainliesinthefactthatinthemanimalpassion，sentimentallydiluted，isshewninconflict，notwithrealcircumstances，butwithasetofconventionsandassumptionshalfofwhichdonotexistoffthestage，whilsttheotherhalfcaneitherbeevadedbyapretenceofcomplianceordefiedwithcompleteimpunitybyanyreasonablystrong-mindedperson。Nobodycanfeelthatsuchconventionsarereallycompulsory;andconsequentlynobodycanbelieveinthestagepathosthatacceptsthemasaninexorablefate，orinthegenuinenessofthepeoplewhoindulgeinsuchpathos。Sittingatsuchplays，wedonotbelieve：wemake-believe。Andthehabitofmake-believebecomesatlastsorootedthatcriticismofthetheatreinsensiblyceasestobecriticismatall，andbecomesmoreandmoreachronicleofthefashionableenterprisesoftheonlyrealitiesleftonthestage：thatis，theperformersintheirownpersons。Inthisphasetheplaywrightwhoattemptstorevivegenuinedramaproducesthedisagreeableimpressionofthepedantwhoattemptstostartaseriousdiscussionatafashionableat-home。Lateron，whenhehasdriventheteaservicesoutandmadethepeoplewhohadcometousethetheatreasadrawing-roomunderstandthatitistheyandnotthedramatistwhoaretheintruders，hehastofacetheaccusationthathisplaysignorehumanfeeling，anillusionproducedbythatveryresistanceoffactandlawtohumanfeelingwhichcreatesdrama。Itisthe_deusexmachina_who，bysuspendingthatresistance，makesthefallofthecurtainanimmediatenecessity，sincedramaendsexactlywhereresistanceends。YettheintroductionofthisresistanceproducessostronganimpressionofheartlessnessnowadaysthatadistinguishedcritichassummeduptheimpressionmadeonhimbyMrsWarren’sProfession，bydeclaringthat"thedifferencebetweenthespiritofTolstoyandthespiritofMrShawisthedifferencebetweenthespiritofChristandthespiritofEuclid。"ButtheepigramwouldbeasgoodifTolstoy’snamewereputinplaceofmineandD’Annunzio’sinplaceofTolstoy。AtthesametimeIaccepttheenormouscomplimenttomyreasoningpowerswithsincerecomplacency;andI
promisemyflattererthatwhenheissufficientlyaccustomedtoandthereforeundazzledbyproblemonthestagetobeabletoattendtothefamiliarfactorofhumanityinitaswellastotheunfamiliaroneofarealenvironment，hewillbothseeandfeelthatMrsWarren’sProfessionisnomeretheorem，butaplayofinstinctsandtemperamentsinconflictwitheachotherandwithaflintysocialproblemthatneveryieldsaninchtomeresentiment。
Igofurtherthanthis。Ideclarethattherealsecretofthecynicismandinhumanityofwhichshallowercriticsaccusemeistheunexpectednesswithwhichmycharactersbehavelikehumanbeings，insteadofconformingtotheromanticlogicofthestage。
Theaxiomsandpostulatesofthatdrearymimanthropometryaresowellknownthatitisalmostimpossibleforitsslavestowritetolerablelastactstotheirplays，soconventionallydotheirconclusionsfollowfromtheirpremises。BecauseIhavethrownthislogicruthlesslyoverboard，Iamaccusedofignoring，notstagelogic，but，ofallthings，humanfeeling。PeoplewithcompletelytheatrifiedimaginationstellmethatnogirlwouldtreathermotherasVivieWarrendoes，meaningthatnostageheroinewouldinapopularsentimentalplay。Theysaythisjustastheymightsaythatnotwostraightlineswouldencloseaspace。TheydonotseehowcompletelyinvertedtheirvisionhasbecomeevenwhenIthrowitspreposterousnessintheirfaces，asIrepeatedlydointhisveryplay。Praed，thesentimentalartist（foolthatIwasnottomakehimatheatrecriticinsteadofanarchitect！）burlesquesthembyexpectingallthroughthepiecethatthefeelingsofotherswillbelogicallydeduciblefromtheirfamilyrelationshipsandfromhis"conventionallyunconventional"socialcode。Thesarcasmislostonthecritics：
they，saturatedwiththesamelogic，onlythinkhimthesolesensiblepersononthestage。Thusitcomesaboutthatthemorecompletelythedramatistisemancipatedfromtheillusionthatmenandwomenareprimarilyreasonablebeings，andthemorepowerfullyheinsistsontheruthlessindifferenceoftheirgreatdramaticantagonist，theexternalworld，totheirwhimsandemotions，thesurerheistobedenouncedasblindtotheverydistinctiononwhichhiswholeworkisbuilt。Farfromignoringidiosyncrasy，will，passion，impulse，whim，asfactorsinhumanaction，Ihaveplacedthemsonakedlyonthestagethattheelderlycitizen，accustomedtoseethemclothedwiththeveilofmanufacturedlogicaboutduty，andtodisguiseevenhisownimpulsesfromhimselfinthisway，findsthepictureasunnaturalasCarlyle’ssuggestedpaintingofparliamentsittingwithoutitsclothes。
Inowcometothosecriticswho，intellectuallybaffledbytheprobleminMrsWarren’sProfession，havemadeavirtueofrunningawayfromit。IwillillustratetheirmethodbyquotationfromDickens，takenfromthefifthchapterofOurMutualFriend：
"Hem！"beganWegg。"This，MrBoffinandLady，isthefirstchapterofthefirstwollumeoftheDeclineandFalloff——-"
herehelookedhardatthebook，andstopped。
"What’sthematter，Wegg？"
"Why，itcomesintomymind，doyouknow，sir，"saidWeggwithanairofinsinuatingfrankness（havingfirstagainlookedhardatthebook），thatyoumadealittlemistakethismorning，whichI
hadmeanttosetyourightin;onlysomethingputitoutofmyhead。IthinkyousaidRooshanEmpire，sir？"
"ItisRooshan;ain’tit，Wegg？"
"No，sir。Roman。Roman。"
"What’sthedifference，Wegg？"
"Thedifference，sir？"MrWeggwasfalteringandindangerofbreakingdown，whenabrightthoughtflasheduponhim。"Thedifference，sir？Thereyouplacemeinadifficulty，MrBoffin。
Sufficeittoobserve，thatthedifferenceisbestpostponedtosomeotheroccasionwhenMrsBoffindoesnothonoruswithhercompany。InMrsBoffin’spresence，sir，wehadbetterdropit。"
MrWeggthuscameoutofhisdisadvantagewithquiteachivalrousair，andnotonlythat，butbydintofrepeatingwithamanlydelicacy，"InMrsBoffin’spresence，sir，wehadbetterdropit！"
turnedthedisadvantageonBoffin，whofeltthathehadcommittedhimselfinaverypainfulmanner。
IamwillingtoletMrWeggdropitontheseterms，providedIamallowedtomentionherethatMrsWarren’sProfessionisaplayforwomen;thatitwaswrittenforwomen;thatithasbeenperformedandproducedmainlythroughthedeterminationofwomenthatitshouldbeperformedandproduced;thattheenthusiasmofwomenmadeitsfirstperformanceexcitinglysuccessful;andthatnotoneofthesewomenhadanyinducementtosupportitexcepttheirbeliefinthetimelinessandthepowerofthelessontheplayteaches。Thosewhowere"surprisedtoseeladiespresent"
weremen;andwhentheyproceededtoexplainthatthejournalstheyrepresentedcouldnotpossiblydemoralizethepublicbydescribingsuchaplay，theireditorscruellydevotedthespacesavedbytheirdelicacytoanelaborateandrespectfulaccountoftheprogressofayounglord’sattempttobreakthebankatMonteCarlo。AfewdayssoonerMrsWarrenwouldhavebeencrowdedoutoftheirpapersbyanexceptionallyabominablepolicecase。Idonotsuggestthatthepolicecaseshouldhavebeensuppressed;butneitherdoIbelievethatregardforpublicmoralityhadanythingtodowiththeirfailuretograpplewiththeperformancebytheStageSociety。And，afterall，therewasnoneedtofallbackonSilasWegg’ssubterfuge。Severalcriticssavedthefacesoftheirpaperseasilyenoughbythesimpleexpedientofsayingalltheyhadtosayinthetoneofashockedgovernesslecturinganaughtychild。TothemImightplead，inMrsWarren’swords，"Well，it’sonlygoodmannerstobeashamed，dearie;"butitsurprisesme，recollectingasIdotheeffectproducedbyMissFannyBrough’sdeliveryofthatline，thatgentlemenwhoshiveredlikevioletsinazephyrasitsweptthroughthem，shouldsocompletelymissthefullwidthofitsapplicationastogohomeandstraightwaymakeapublicexhibitionofmockmodesty。
MyoldIndependentTheatremanager，MrGrein，besidesthatreproachtomeforshatteringhisideals，complainsthatMrsWarrenisnotwickedenough，andnamesseveralromancerswhowouldhaveclothedherblacksoulwithalltheterrorsoftragedy。Ihavenodoubttheywould;butifyouplease，mydearGrein，thatisjustwhatIdidnotwanttodo。NothingwouldpleaseoursanctimoniousBritishpublicmorethantothrowthewholeguiltofMrsWarren’sprofessiononMrsWarrenherself。
NowthewholeaimofmyplayistothrowthatguiltontheBritishpublicitself。Youmayrememberthatwhenyouproducedmyfirstplay，Widowers’Houses，exactlythesamemisunderstandingarose。Whenthevirtuousyounggentlemanroseupinwrathagainsttheslumlandlord，theslumlandlordveryeffectivelyshewedhimthatslumsaretheproduct，notofindividualHarpagons，butoftheindifferenceofvirtuousyounggentlementotheconditionofthecitytheylivein，providedtheyliveatthewestendofitonmoneyearnedbysomeoneelse’slabor。ThenotionthatprostitutioniscreatedbythewickednessofMrsWarrenisassillyasthenotion——prevalent，nevertheless，tosomeextentinTemperancecircles——thatdrunkennessiscreatedbythewickednessofthepublican。MrsWarrenisnotawhitaworsewomanthanthereputabledaughterwhocannotendureher。
Herindifferencetotheultimatesocialconsequencesofhermeansofmakingmoney，andherdiscoveryofthatmeansbytheordinarymethodoftakingthelineofleastresistancetogettingit，aretoocommoninEnglishsocietytocallforanyspecialremark。
Hervitality，herthrift，herenergy，heroutspokenness，herwisecareofherdaughter，andthemanagingcapacitywhichhasenabledherandhersistertoclimbfromthefriedfishshopdownbytheMinttotheestablishmentsofwhichsheboasts，areallhighEnglishsocialvirtues。HerdefenceofherselfissooverwhelmingthatitprovokestheStJamesGazettetodeclarethat"thetendencyoftheplayiswhollyevil"because"itcontainsoneoftheboldestandmostspeciousdefencesofanimmorallifeforpoorwomenthathaseverbeenpenned。"HappilytheStJamesGazetteherespeaksinitshaste。MrsWarren’sdefenceofherselfisnotonlyboldandspecious，butvalidandunanswerable。Butitisnodefenceatallofthevicewhichsheorganizes。Itisnodefenceofanimmorallifetosaythatthealternativeofferedbysocietycollectivelytopoorwomenisamiserablelife，starved，overworked，fetid，ailing，ugly。ThoughitisquitenaturalandRIGHTforMrsWarrentochoosewhatis，accordingtoherlights，theleastimmoralalternative，itisnonethelessinfamousofsocietytooffersuchalternatives。
Forthealternativesofferedarenotmoralityandimmorality，buttwosortsofimmorality。Themanwhocannotseethatstarvation，overwork，dirt，anddiseaseareasanti-socialasprostitution——
thattheyarethevicesandcrimesofanation，andnotmerelyitsmisfortunes——is（toputitaspolitelyaspossible）ahopelesslyPrivatePerson。
ThenotionthatMrsWarrenmustbeafiendisonlyanexampleoftheviolenceandpassionwhichtheslightestreferencetosexarousesinundisciplinedminds，andwhichmakesitseemnaturalforourlawgiverstopunishsillyandnegligibleindecencieswithaferocityunknownindealingwith，forexample，ruinousfinancialswindling。HadmyplaybeentitledMrWarren’sProfession，andMrWarrenbeenabookmaker，nobodywouldhaveexpectedmetomakehimavillainaswell。Yetgamblingisavice，andbookmakinganinstitution，forwhichthereisabsolutelynothingtobesaid。Themoralandeconomicevildonebytryingtogetotherpeople’smoneywithoutworkingforit（andthisistheessenceofgambling）isnotonlyenormousbutuncompensated。Therearenotwosidestothequestionofgambling，nocircumstanceswhichforceustotolerateitlestitssuppressionleadtoworsethings，noconsensusofopinionamongresponsibleclasses，suchasmagistratesandmilitarycommanders，thatitisanecessity，noAthenianrecordsofgamblingmadesplendidbythetalentsofitsprofessors，nocontentionthatinsteadofviolatingmoralsitonlyviolatesalegalinstitutionwhichisinmanyrespectsoppressiveandunnatural，nopossiblepleathattheinstinctonwhichitisfoundedisavitalone。
Prostitutioncanconfusetheissuewithalltheseexcuses：
gamblinghasnoneofthem。Consequently，ifMrsWarrenmustneedsbeademon，abookmakermustbeacacodemon。Well，doesanybodywhoknowsthesportingworldreallybelievethatbookmakersareworsethantheirneighbors？Onthecontrary，theyhavetobeagooddealbetter;forinthatworldnearlyeverybodywhosesocialrankdoesnotexcludesuchanoccupationwouldbeabookmakerifhecould;butthestrengthofcharacterforhandlinglargesumsofmoneyandforstrictsettlementsandunflinchingpaymentoflossesissorarethatsuccessfulbookmakersareraretoo。Itmayseemthatatleastpublicspiritcannotbeoneofabookmaker’svirtues;butIcantestifyfrompersonalexperiencethatexcellentpublicworkisdonewithmoneysubscribedbybookmakers。Itistruethatthereareabyssesinbookmaking：forexample，welshing。MrGreinhintsthatthereareabyssesinMrsWarren’sprofessionalso。Sothereareineveryprofession：theerrorliesinsupposingthateverymemberofthemsoundsthesedepths。IsitonapublicbodywhichprosecutesMrsWarrenzealously;andIcanassureMrGreinthatsheisoftenlenientlydealtwithbecauseshehasconductedherbusiness"respectably"
andheldherselfaboveitsvilestbranches。Thedegreesininfamyareasnumerousandasscrupulouslyobservedasthedegreesinthepeerage：themoralist’snotionthattherearedepthsatwhichthemoralatmosphereceasesisasdelusiveastherichman’snotionthattherearenosocialjealousiesorsnobberiesamongtheverypoor。No：hadIdrawnMrsWarrenasafiendinhumanform，theverypeoplewhonowrebukemeforflatteringherwouldprobablybethefirsttoderidemefordeducinghercharacterlogicallyfromoccupationinsteadofobservingitaccuratelyinsociety。
OnecriticissoenslavedbythissortoflogicthathecallsmyportraitureoftheReverendSamuelGardneranattackonreligion。
AccordingtothisviewSubalternIagoisanattackonthearmy，SirJohnFalstaffanattackonknighthood，andKingClaudiusanattackonroyalty。Hereagaintheclamorfornaturalnessandhumanfeeling，raisedbysomanycriticswhentheyareconfrontedbytherealthingonthestage，isreallyaclamorforthemostmechanicalandsuperficialsortoflogic。ThedramaticreasonformakingtheclergymanwhatMrsWarrencalls"anoldstick-in-
the-mud，"whoseson，inspiteofmuchcapacityandcharm，isacynicallyworthlessmemberofsociety，istosetupamordantcontrastbetweenhimandthewomanofinfamousprofession，withherwellbrought-up，straightforward，hardworkingdaughter。ThecriticswhohavemissedthecontrasthavedoubtlessobservedoftenenoughthatmanyclergymenareintheChurchthroughnogenuinecalling，butsimplybecause，incircleswhichcancommandpreferment，itistherefugeof"thefoolofthefamily";andthatclergymen’ssonsareoftenconspicuousreactionistsagainsttherestraintsimposedontheminchildhoodbytheirfather’sprofession。Thesecriticsmustknow，too，fromhistoryifnotfromexperience，thatwomenasunscrupulousasMrsWarrenhavedistinguishedthemselvesasadministratorsandrulers，bothcommerciallyandpolitically。Butbothobservationandknowledgeareleftbehindwhenjournalistsgotothetheatre。Onceintheirstalls，theyassumethatitis"natural"forclergymentobesaintly，forsoldierstobeheroic，forlawyerstobehard-
hearted，forsailorstobesimpleandgenerous，fordoctorstoperformmiracleswithlittlebottles，andforMrsWarrentobeabeastandademon。Allthisisnotonlynotnatural，butnotdramatic。Aman’sprofessiononlyentersintothedramaofhislifewhenitcomesintoconflictwithhisnature。TheresultofthisconflictistragicinMrsWarren’scase，andcomicintheclergyman’scase（atleastwearesavageenoughtolaughatit）;
butinbothcasesitisillogical，andinbothcasesnatural。I
repeat，thecriticswhoaccusemeofsacrificingnaturetologicaresosophisticatedbytheirprofessionthattothemlogicisnature，andnatureabsurdity。
Manyfriendlycriticsaretoolittleskilledinsocialquestionsandmoraldiscussionstobeabletoconceivethatrespectablegentlemenlikethemselves，whowouldinstantlycallthepolicetoremoveMrsWarrenifsheventuredtocanvassthempersonally，couldpossiblybeinanywayresponsibleforherproceedings。
Theyremonstratesincerely，askingmewhatgoodsuchpainfulexposurescanpossiblydo。TheymightaswellaskwhatgoodLordShaftesburydidbydevotinghislifetotheexposureofevils（bynomeansyetremedied）comparedtowhichtheworstthingsbroughtintovieworevenintosurmisebythisplayaretrifles。Thegoodofmentioningthemisthatyoumakepeoplesoextremelyuncomfortableaboutthemthattheyfinallystopblaming"humannature"forthem，andbegintosupportmeasuresfortheirreform。
CananythingbemoreabsurdthanthecopyofTheEchowhichcontainsanoticeoftheperformanceofmyplay？Itiseditedbyagentlemanwho，havingdevotedhislifetoworkoftheShaftesburytype，exposessocialevilsandclamorsfortheirreformineverycolumnexceptone;andthatoneisoccupiedbythedeclarationofthepaper’skindlytheatrecritic，thattheperformancelefthim"wonderingwhatusefulpurposetheplaywasintendedtoserve。"Thebalancehastoberedressedbythemorefashionablepapers，whichusuallycombinecapableartcriticismwithWest-Endsolecismonpoliticsandsociology。Itisverynoteworthy，however，oncomparingthepressexplosionproducedbyMrsWarren’sProfessionin1902withthatproducedbyWidowers’
Housesabouttenyearsearlier，thatwhereasin1892thefactswerefranticallydeniedandthepersonsofthedramafloutedasmonstersofwickedness，in1902thefactsareadmittedandthecharactersrecognized，thoughitissuggestedthatthisisexactlywhynogentlemanshouldmentiontheminpublic。OnlyonewriterhasventuredtoimplythistimethatthepovertymentionedbyMrsWarrenhassincebeenquietlyrelieved，andneednothavebeendraggedbacktothefootlights。Icomplimenthimonhissplendidmendacity，inwhichheisunsupported，savebyalittlepleainatheatricalpaperwhichisinnocentenoughtothinkthattenguineasayearwithboardandlodgingisanimpossiblylowwageforabarmaid。ItgoesontociteMrCharlesBoothashavingtestifiedthattherearemanylaborers’wiveswhoarehappyandcontentedoneighteenshillingsaweek。ButIcangofurtherthanthatmyself。IhaveseenanOxfordagriculturallaborer’swifelookingcheerfuloneightshillingsaweek;butthatdoesnotconsolemeforthefactthatagricultureinEnglandisaruinedindustry。Ifpovertydoesnotmatteraslongasitiscontented，thencrimedoesnotmatteraslongasitisunscrupulous。Thetruthisthatitisonlythenthatitdoesmattermostdesperately。Manypersonsaremorecomfortablewhentheyaredirtythanwhentheyareclean;butthatdoesnotrecommenddirtasanationalpolicy。
HereImustforthepresentbreakoffmyarduousworkofeducatingthePress。Weshallresumeourstudieslateron;butjustnowIamtiredofplayingthepreceptor;andtheeagerthirstofmypupilsforimprovementdoesnotconsolemefortheslownessoftheirprogress。Besides，Imustreservespacetogratifymyownvanityanddojusticetothesixartistswhoactedmyplay，byplacingonrecordthehithertounchronicledsuccessofthefirstrepresentation。Itisnotoftenthatanauthor，afteracoupleofhoursofthoserarealternationsofexcitementandintenselyattentivesilencewhichonlyoccurinthetheatrewhenactorsandaudiencearereactingononeanothertotheutmost，isabletosteponthestageandapplythestrongwordgeniustotherepresentationwiththecertaintyofelicitinganinstantandoverwhelmingassentfromtheaudience。ThatwasmygoodfortuneontheafternoonofSunday，thefifthofJanuarylast。Iwascertainlyextremelyfortunateinmyinterpretersintheenterprise，andthatnotaloneinrespectoftheirartistictalent;forhaditnotbeenfortheirsuperhumanpatience，theirimperturbablegoodhumorandgoodfellowship，therecouldhavebeennoperformance。TheterroroftheCensor’spowergaveustroubleenoughtobreakupanyordinarycommercialenterprise。
Managerspromisedandevenengagedtheirtheatrestousafterthemostexplicitwarningsthattheplaywasunlicensed，andatthelastmomentsuddenlyrealizedthatMrRedfordhadtheirlivelihoodsinthehollowofhishand，andbackedout。Overandoveragainthedateandplacewerefixedandtheticketsprinted，onlytobecanceled，untilatlastthedesperateandoverworkedmanageroftheStageSocietycouldonlylaugh，ascriminalsbrokenonthewheelusedtolaughatthesecondstroke。Werehearsedundergreatdifficulties。Christmaspiecesandplaysforthenewyearwerebeingproducedinalldirections;andmysixactorcolleagueswerebusypeople，withengagementsinthesepiecesinadditiontotheircurrentprofessionalworkeverynight。Onseveralrawwinterdaysstagesforrehearsalwereunattainableevenbythemostdistinguishedapplicants;andwesharedcorridorsandsaloonswiththemwhilstthestagewasgivenovertochildrenintrainingforBoxingnight。Atlastwehadtorehearseatanhouratwhichnoactororactresshasbeenoutofbedwithinthememoryofman;andwesardonicallycongratulatedoneanothereverymorningonourrosymatutinallooksandtheimprovementwroughtbyourearlyrisinginourhealthandcharacters。Andallthis，pleaseobserve，forasocietywithouttreasuryorcommercialprestige，foraplaywhichwasbeingdenouncedinadvanceasunmentionable，foranauthorwithoutinfluenceatthefashionabletheatres！IvictoriouslychallengetheWestEndmanagerstogetasmuchdoneforinterestedmotives，iftheycan。
Threecausesmadetheproductionthemostnotablethathasfallentomylot。First，thevetooftheCensor，whichputthesupportersoftheplayontheirmettle。Second，thechivalryoftheStageSociety，which，inspiteofmyurgentadvicetothecontrary，andmydemonstrationofthedifficulties，dangers，andexpensestheenterprisewouldcost，putmydiscouragementstoshameandresolvedtogivebattleatallcoststotheattemptoftheCensorshiptosuppresstheplay。Third，theartisticspiritoftheactors，whomadetheplaytheirownandcarrieditthroughtriumphantlyinspiteofaseriesofdisappointmentsandannoyancesmuchmoretryingtothedramatictemperamentthanmeredifficulties。
Theacting，too，requiredcourageandcharacteraswellasskillandintelligence。ThevetooftheCensorintroducedquiteanovelelementofmoralresponsibilityintotheundertaking。AndthecharacterswereveryunusualontheEnglishstage。Theyoungerheroineis，likehermother，anEnglishwomantothebackbone，andnot，liketheheroinesofourfashionabledrama，aprimadonnaofItalianorigin。Consequentlyshewassuretobedenouncedasunnaturalandundramaticbythecritics。Themostviciousmanintheplayisnotintheleastastagevillain;
indeed，heregardshisownmoralcharacterwiththesincerecomplacencyofaheroofmelodrama。Theamiabledevoteeofromanceandbeautyisshewnatanagewhichbringsoutthefutilizationwhichtheseworshipsareapttoproduceiftheyaremadethestapleoflifeinsteadofthesauce。Theattitudeofthecleveryoungpeopletotheireldersisfaithfullyrepresentedasoneofpitilessridiculeandunsympatheticcriticism，andformsaspectacleincredibletothosewho，whenyoung，werenotclevererthantheirnearestelders，andpainfultothosesentimentalparentswhoshrinkfromthecrueltyofyouth，whichpardonsnothingbecauseitknowsnothing。Inshort，thecharactersandtheirrelationsareofakindthattheroutineercritichasnotyetlearnedtoplace;sothattheirmisunderstandingwasaforegoneconclusion。Nevertheless，therewasnohesitationbehindthecurtain。Whenitwentupatlast，astagemuchtoosmallforthecompanywasrevealedtoanauditoriummuchtoosmallfortheaudience。Buttheplayers，thoughitwasimpossibleforthemtoforgettheirowndiscomfort，atoncemadethespectatorsforgettheirs。Itcertainlywasamodelaudience，responsivefromthefirstlinetothelast;anditgotnolessthanitdeservedinreturn。
Igrievetoaddthatthesecondperformance，givenfortheedificationoftheLondonPressandofthosemembersoftheStageSocietywhocannotattendtheSundayperformances，wasalessinspiritingonethanthefirst。Asolidphalanxoftheatre-wearyjournalistsinanafternoonhumor，mostofthemcommittedtoirreconcilabledisparagementofproblemplays，andallofthemboundbyetiquettetobeasundemonstrativeaspossible，isnotexactlythesortofaudiencethatrisesattheperformersandcuresthemoftheinevitablereactionafteranexcitinglysuccessfulfirstnight。Theartistnatureisasensitiveandthereforeavindictiveone;andmasterfulplayershaveawaywithrecalcitrantaudiencesofrubbingaplayintotheminsteadofdelightingthemwithit。IshoulddescribethesecondperformanceofMrsWarren’sProfession，especiallyastoitsearlierstages，asdecidedlyarubbed-inone。Therubbingwasnodoubtsalutary;butitmusthavehurtsomeofthethinnerskins。
Thecharmofthelighterpassagesfled;andthestrongscenes，thoughtheyagaincarriedeverythingbeforethem，yetdischargedthatdutyinagrimfashion，doingexecutionontheenemyratherthanmovingthemtorepentanceandconfession。Still，tothosewhohadnotseenthefirstperformance，theeffectwassufficientlyimpressive;andtheyhadtheadvantageofwitnessingafreshdevelopmentinMrsWarren，who，artisticallyjealous，asItookit，oftheoverwhelmingeffectoftheendofthesecondactonthepreviousday，threwherselfintothefourthactinquiteanewway，andachievedtheapparentlyimpossiblefeatofsurpassingherself。ThecomplimentspaidtoMissFannyBroughbythecritics，eulogisticastheyare，arethecomplimentsofmenthree-fourthsdupedasPartridgewasdupedbyGarrick。Bymuchofheractingtheyweresocompletelytakeninthattheydidnotrecognizeitasactingatall。Indeed，noneofthesixplayersquiteescapedthisconsequenceoftheirownthoroughness。Therewasadistincttendencyamongthelessexperiencedcriticstocomplainoftheirsentimentsandbehavior。Naturally，theauthordoesnotsharethatgrievance。
PICCARD’SCOTTAGE，JANUARY1902。
[MrsWarren’sProfessionwasperformedforthefirsttimeinthetheatreoftheNewLyricClub，London，onthe5thand6thJanuary1902，withMadgeMcIntoshasVivie，JuliusKnightasPraed，FannyBroughasMrsWarren，CharlesGoodhartasCrofts，HarleyGranville-BarkerasFrank，andCosmoStuartastheReverendSamuelGardner。]
ACTI
[SummerafternooninacottagegardenontheeasternslopeofahillalittlesouthofHaslemereinSurrey。Lookingupthehill，thecottageisseeninthelefthandcornerofthegarden，withitsthatchedroofandporch，andalargelatticedwindowtotheleftoftheporch。Apalingcompletelyshutsinthegarden，exceptforagateontheright。Thecommonrisesuphillbeyondthepalingtotheskyline。Somefoldedcanvasgardenchairsareleaningagainstthesidebenchintheporch。Alady’sbicycleisproppedagainstthewall，underthewindow。Alittletotherightoftheporchahammockisslungfromtwoposts。Abigcanvasumbrella，stuckintheground，keepsthesunoffthehammock，inwhichayoungladyisreadingandmakingnotes，herheadtowardsthecottageandherfeettowardsthegate。Infrontofthehammock，andwithinreachofherhand，isacommonkitchenchair，withapileofserious-lookingbooksandasupplyofwritingpaperonit。]
[Agentlemanwalkingonthecommoncomesintosightfrombehindthecottage。Heishardlypastmiddleage，withsomethingoftheartistabouthim，unconventionallybutcarefullydressed，andclean-shavenexceptforamoustache，withaneagersusceptiblefaceandveryamiableandconsideratemanners。Hehassilkyblackhair，withwavesofgreyandwhiteinit。Hiseyebrowsarewhite，hismoustacheblack。Heseemsnotcertainofhisway。Helooksoverthepalings;takesstockoftheplace;andseestheyounglady。]
THEGENTLEMAN[takingoffhishat]Ibegyourpardon。CanyoudirectmetoHindheadView——MrsAlison’s？
THEYOUNGLADY[glancingupfromherbook]ThisisMrsAlison’s。