It’sthepovertyofthelifethosepeopleshow,andtheawfulbounders,ofbothsexes,thattheyrepresent。"
"Ohnowwehaveyou!"herinterlocutorlaughed。"Tome,whenall’ssaidanddone,theyseemtobe——asnearasartcancome——inthetruthofthetruth。Itcanonlytakewhatlifegivesit,thoughitcertainlymaybeapitythatthatisn’tbetter。Yourcomplaintoftheirmonotonyisacomplaintoftheirconditions。Whenyousaywegetalwaysthesamecouplewhatdoyoumeanbutthatwegetalwaysthesamepassion?Ofcoursewedo!"Voytpursued。"Ifwhatyou’relookingforisanother,that’swhatyouwon’tanywherefind。"
Maudforawhilesaidnothing,andMrs。Dyottseemedtowait。
"Well,IsupposeI’mlooking,morethananythingelse,foradecentwoman。"
"Ohthenyoumustn’tlookforherinpicturesofpassion。That’snotherelementnorherwhereabouts。"
Mrs。Blessingbourneweighedtheobjection。"Doesitnotdependonwhatyoumeanbypassion?"
"IthinkIcanmeanonlyonething:theenemytobehaviour。"
"OhIcanimaginepassionsthatareonthecontraryfriendstoit。"
Herfellow-guestthought。"Doesn’titdependperhapsonwhatyoumeanbybehaviour?"
"Dearno。Behaviour’sjustbehaviour——themostdefinitethingintheworld。"
"Thenwhatdoyoumeanbythe’interest’youjustnowspokeof?
Thepictureofthatdefinitething?"
"Yes——callitthat。Womenaren’tALWAYSvicious,evenwhenthey’re——"
"Whenthey’rewhat?"Voytpressed。
"Whenthey’reunhappy。Theycanbeunhappyandgood。"
"Thatonedoesn’tforamomentdeny。Butcantheybe’good’andinteresting?"
"ThatmustbeMaud’ssubject!"Mrs。Dyottinterposed。"ToshowawomanwhoIS。I’mafraid,mydear,"shecontinued,"youcouldonlyshowyourself。"
"You’dshowthenthemostbeautifulspecimenconceivable"——andVoytaddressedhimselftoMaud。"Butdoesn’titprovethatlifeis,againstyourcontention,moreinterestingthanart?Lifeyouembellishandelevate;butartwouldfinditselfabletodonothingwithyou,and,onsuchimpossibleterms,wouldruinyou。"
Thecolourinherfaintconsciousnessgavebeautytoherstare。
"’Ruin’me?"
"Hemeans,"Mrs。Dyottagainindicated,"thatyou’druin’art。’"
"Withoutontheotherhand"——Voytseemedtoassent——"itsgivingatallacoherentimpressionofyou。"
"Shewantsherromancecheap!"saidMrs。Dyott。
"Ohno——Ishouldbewillingtopayforit。Idon’tseewhytheromance——sinceyougiveitthatname——shouldbeall,astheFrenchinveteratelymakeit,forthewomenwhoarebad。"
"Ohtheypayforit!"saidMrs。Dyott。
"DOthey?"
"Soatleast"——Mrs。Dyottalittlecorrectedherself——"onehasgathered(forIdon’treadyourbooks,youknow!)thatthey’reusuallyshownasdoing。"
Maudwondered,butlookingatVoyt,"They’reshownoften,nodoubt,aspayingfortheirbadness。Butaretheyshownaspayingfortheirromance?"
"Mydearlady,"saidVoyt,"theirromanceistheirbadness。Thereisn’tanyother。It’sahardlaw,ifyouwill,andastrange,butgoodnesshastogowithoutthatluxury。Isn’ttoBEgoodjustexactly,allround,togowithout?"Heputitbeforeherkindlyandclearly——regretfullytoo,asifheweresorrythetruthshouldbesosad。Heandshe,hispleasanteyesseemedtosay,would,hadtheyhadthemakingofit,havemadeitbetter。"Onehashearditbefore——atleastIhave;onehasheardyourquestionput。Butalways,whenputtoamindnotmerelymuddled,foraninevitableanswer。’Whydon’tyou,chermonsieur,giveusthedramaofvirtue?’’Because,cheremadame,thehighprivilegeofvirtueispreciselytoavoiddrama。’Theadventuresofthehonestlady?Thehonestladyhasn’t,can’tpossiblyhave,adventures。"
Mrs。Blessingbourneonlymethiseyesatfirst,smilingwithsomeintensity。"Doesn’titdependalittleonwhatyoucalladventures?"
"MypoorMaud,"saidMrs。Dyottasifincompassionforsophistrysosimple,"adventuresarejustadventures。That’sallyoucanmakeofthem!"
Butherfriendtalkedfortheircompanionandasifwithouthearing。"Doesn’titdependagooddealonwhatyoucalldrama?"
Maudspokeasonewhohadalreadythoughtitout。"Doesn’titdependonwhatyoucallromance?"
Herlistenergavetheseargumentshisverybestattention。"Ofcourseyoumaycallthingsanythingyoulike——speakofthemasonethingandmeanquiteanother。Butwhyshoulditdependonanything?Behindthesewordsweuse——theadventure,thenovel,thedrama,theromance,thesituation,inshort,aswemostcomprehensivelysay——behindthemallstandsthesamesharpfactwhichtheyallintheirdifferentwaysrepresent。"
"Precisely!"Mrs。Dyottwasfullofapproval。
Maudhoweverwasfullofvagueness。"Whatgreatfact?"
"Thefactofarelation。Theadventure’sarelation;therelation’sanadventure。Theromance,thenovel,thedramaarethepictureofone。Thesubjectthenovelisttreatsistherise,theformation,thedevelopment,theclimaxandforthemostpartthedeclineofone。Andwhatisthehonestladydoingonthatsideofthetown?"
Mrs。Dyottwasmorepointed。"Shedoesn’tsomuchasFORMarelation。"
ButMaudboreup。"Doesn’titdependagainonwhatyoucallarelation?"
"Oh,"saidMrs。Dyott,"ifagentlemanpicksupherpocket-
handkerchief——"
"Aheventhat’sone,"theirfriendlaughed,"ifshehasthrownittohim。Wecanonlydealwithonethatisone。"
"Surely,"Maudreplied。"Butifit’saninnocentone——"
"Doesn’titdependagooddeal,"Mrs。Dyottasked,"onwhatyoucallinnocent?"
"Youmeanthattheadventuresofinnocencehavesooftenbeenthematerialoffiction?Yes,"Voytreplied;"that’sexactlywhattheboredreadercomplainsof。Hehasaskedforbreadandbeengivenastone。Whatisitbut,withabsolutedirectness,aquestionofinterestor,aspeoplesay,ofthestory?What’sasituationundevelopedbutasubjectlost?Ifarelationstops,where’sthestory?Ifitdoesn’tstop,where’stheinnocence?Itseemstomeyoumustchoose。Itwouldbeveryprettyifitwereotherwise,butthat’showweflounder。Artisourflounderingsshown。"
Mrs。Blessingbourne——andwithanairofdeferencescarcesupportedperhapsbyitssketchiness——keptherdeepeyesonthisdefinition。
"Butsometimesweflounderout。"
ItimmediatelytouchedinColonelVoytthespringofagenialderision。"That’sjustwhereIexpectedYOUwould!Onealwaysseesitcome。"
"Hehas,younotice,"Mrs。DyottparenthesisedtoMaud,"seenitcomesooftenI;andhehasalwayswaitedforitandmetit。"
"Metit,dearlady,simplyenough!It’stheoldstory,Mrs。
Blessingbourne。Therelation’sinnocentthattheheroinegetsoutof。Thebook’sinnocentthat’sthestoryofhergettingout。Butwhatthedevil——inthenameofinnocence——wasshedoingIN?"
Mrs。Dyottpromptlyechoedthequestion。"Youhavetobein,youknow,toGETout。Sothereyouarealreadywithyourrelation。
It’stheendofyourgoodness。"
"Andthebeginning,"saidVoyt,"ofyourplay!"
"Aren’ttheyall,forthatmatter,eventheworst,"Mrs。Dyottpursued,"supposedSOMEtimeorothertogetout?Butifmeanwhilethey’vebeenin,howeverbriefly,longenoughtoadornatale?"
"They’vebeeninlongenoughtopointamoral。Thatistopointours!"Withwhich,andasifasuddenflushofwarmerlighthadmovedhim,ColonelVoytgotup。Theveilofthestormhadpartedoveragreatredsunset。
Mrs。Dyottalsowasonherfeet,andtheystoodbeforehischarmingantagonist,who,witheyesloweredandasomewhatfixedsmile,hadnotmoved。
"We’vespoiledhersubject!"theelderladysighed。
"Well,"saidVoyt,"it’sbettertospoilanartist’ssubjectthantospoilhisreputation。Imean,"heexplainedtoMaudwithhisindulgentmanner,"hisappearanceofknowingwhathehasgotholdof,forthat,inthelastresort,ishishappiness。"
Sheslowlyroseatthis,facinghimwithanaspectashandsomelymildashisown。"Youcan’tspoilmyhappiness。"
Heheldherhandaninstantashetookleave。"IwishIcouldaddtoit!"
CHAPTERIII
WhenhehadquittedthemandMrs。Dyotthadcandidlyaskedifherfriendhadfoundhimrudeorcrude,Maudreplied——thoughnotimmediately——thatshehadfearedshowingonlytoomuchhowcharmingshefoundhim。ButifMrs。Dyotttookthisitwastoweighthesense。"Howcouldyoushowittoomuch?"
"BecauseIalwaysfeelthatthat’smyonlywayofshowinganything。
It’sabsurd,ifyoulike,"Mrs。Blessingbournepursued,"butI
neverknow,insuchintensediscussions,whatstrangeimpressionI
maygive。"
Hercompanionlookedamused。"Wasitintense?"
"_I_was,"Maudfranklyconfessed。
"Thenit’sapityyouweresowrong。ColonelVoyt,youknow,isright。"Mrs。Blessingbourneatthisgaveoneoftheslowsoftsilentheadshakestowhichsheoftenresortedandwhich,mostlyaccompaniedbythelightofcheer,hadsomehow,inspiteofthesmallobstinacythatsmiledinthem,aspecialgrace。Withthisgrace,foramoment,herfriend,lookingherupanddown,appearedimpressed,yetnottoomuchsototakethenextminuteadecision。
"Ohmydear,I’msorrytodifferfromanyonesolovely——foryou’reawfullybeautifulto-night,andyourfrock’stheverynicestI’veeverseenyouwear。Buthe’sasrightashecanbe。"
Maudrepeatedhermotion。"Notsoright,atalleventsashethinksheis。OrperhapsIcansay,"shewenton,afteraninstant,"thatI’mnotsowrong。IdoknowalittlewhatI’mtalkingabout。"
Mrs。Dyottcontinuedtostudyher。"YouAREvexed。Younaturallydon’tlikeit——suchdestruction。"
"Destruction?"
"Ofyourillusion。"
"IHAVEnoillusion。IfIhadmoreoveritwouldn’tbedestroyed。
Ihaveonthewhole,Ithink,mylittledecency。"
Mrs。Dyottstared。"Letusgrantitforargument。What,then?"
"Well,I’vealsomylittledrama。"
"Anattachment?"
"Anattachment。"
"Thatyoushouldn’thave?"
"ThatIshouldn’thave。"
"Apassion?"
"Apassion。"
"Shared?"
"Ahthankgoodness,no!"
Mrs。Dyottcontinuedtogaze。"Theobject’sunaware——?"
"Utterly。"
Mrs。Dyottturneditover。"Areyousure?"
"Sure。"
"That’swhatyoucallyourdecency?Butisn’tit,"Mrs。Dyottasked,"ratherhis?"
"Dearno。It’sonlyhisgoodfortune。"
Mrs。Dyottlaughed。"Butyours,darling——yourgoodfortune:wheredoesTHATcomein?"
"Why,inmysenseoftheromanceofit。"
"Theromanceofwhat?Ofhisnotknowing?"
"Ofmynotwantinghimto。IfIdid"——Maudhadtouchinglyworkeditout——"wherewouldbemyhonesty?"
Theinquiry,foraninstant,heldherfriend,yetonly,itseemed,forastupefactionthatwasalmostamusement。"Canyouwantornotwantasyoulike?Whereintheworld,ifyoudon’twant,isyourromance?"
Mrs。Blessingbournestillworehersmile,andshenow,withalightgesturethatmatchedit,justtouchedtheregionofherheart。
"There!"
Hercompanionadmiringlymarvelled。"Alovelyplaceforit,nodoubt!——butnotquiteaplace,thatIcansee,tomakethesentimentarelation。"
"Whynot?Whatmoreisrequiredforarelationforme?"
"Ohallsortsofthings,Ishouldsay!Andmanymore,addedtothose,tomakeitoneforthepersonyoumention。"
"AhthatIdon’tpretenditeithershouldbeorCANbe。Ionlyspeakformyself。"
ThiswassaidinamannerthatmadeMrs。Dyott,withavisiblemixtureofimpressions,suddenlyturnaway。Sheindulgedinavaguemovementortwo,asiftolookforsomething;thenagainfoundherselfnearherfriend,onwhomwiththesameabruptness,infactwithastrangesharpness,sheconferredakissthatmighthaverepresentedeitherhertributetoexaltedconsistencyorherideaofagracefulcloseofthediscussion。"YoudeservethatoneshouldspeakFORyou!"
Hercompanionlookedcheerfulandsecure。"HowCANyouwithoutknowing——?"
"Ohbyguessing!It’snot——?"
ButthatwasasfarasMrs。Dyottcouldget。"It’snot,"saidMaud,"anyoneyou’veeverseen。"
"AhthenIgiveyouup!"
AndMrs。DyottconformedfortherestofMaud’sstaytothespiritofthisspeech。ItwasmadeonaSaturdaynight,andMrs。
BlessingbourneremainedtilltheWednesdayfollowing,anintervalduringwhich,asthereturnoffineweatherwasconfirmedbytheSunday,thetwoladiesfoundawiderrangeofaction。Thereweredrivestobetaken,callsmade,objectsofinterestseenatadistance;withtheeffectofmucheasytalkandstillmoreeasysilence。TherehadbeenaquestionofColonelVoyt’sprobablereturnontheSunday,butthewholetimepassedwithoutasignfromhim,anditwasmerelymentionedbyMrs。Dyott,inexplanation,thathemusthavebeensuddenlycalled,ashewassoliabletobe,totown。ThatthisinfactwaswhathadhappenedhemadecleartoheronThursdayafternoon,when,walkingoveragainlate,hefoundheralone。TheconsequenceofhisSundaylettershadbeenhistaking,thatday,the4。15。Mrs。VoythadgonebackonThursday,andhenow,tosettleonthespotthequestionofapieceofworkbegunathisplace,hadrusheddownforafewhoursinanticipationoftheusualcollectivemovefortheweek’send。Hewastogoupagainbythelatetrain,andhadtocountalittle——afactacceptedbyhishostesswiththehardpliancyofpractice——hispresenthappymoments。Toofewasthesewere,however,hefoundtimetomakeofheraninquiryortwonotdirectlybearingontheirsituation。ThefirstwasarecallofthequestionforwhichMrs。Blessingbourne’sentranceonthepreviousSaturdayhadarrestedheranswer。Hadthatladytheideaofanythingbetweenthem?
"No。I’msure。There’soneideashehasgot,"Mrs。Dyottwenton;
"butit’squitedifferentandnotsoverywonderful。"
"Whatthenisit?"
"Well,thatshe’sherselfinlove。"
Voytshowedhisinterest。"Youmeanshetoldyou?"
"Igotitoutofher。"
Heshowedhisamusement。"Poorthing!Andwithwhom?"
"Withyou。"
Hissurprise,ifthedistinctionmightbemade,waslessthanhiswonder。"Yougotthatoutofhertoo?"
"No——itremainsin。Whichismuchthebestwayforit。Foryoutoknowitwouldbetoendit。"
Helookedrathercheerfullyatsea。"Isthatthenwhyyoutellme?"
"Imeanforhertoknowyouknowit。Thereforeit’sinyourinterestnottolether。"
"Isee,"Voytafteramomentreturned。"Yourrealcalculationisthatmyinterestwillbesacrificedtomyvanity——sothat,ifyourotherideaisjust,theflamewillinfact,andthankstohermorbidconscience,expirebyhertakingfrightatseeingmesopleased。ButIpromiseyou,"hedeclared,"thatsheshan’tseeit。
Sothereyouare!"Shekepthereyesonhimandhadevidentlytoadmitafteralittlethatthereshewas。Distinctashehadmadethecase,however,hewasn’tyetquitesatisfied。"WhyareyousosureI’mtheman?"
"Fromthewayshedeniesyou。"
"Youputittoher?"
"Straight。Ifyouhadn’tbeenshe’dofcoursehaveconfessedtoyou——tokeepmeinthedarkabouttherealone。"
PoorVoytlaughedoutagain。"Ohyoudearsouls!"
"Besides,"hiscompanionpursued,"Iwasn’tinwantofthatevidence。"
"Thenwhatotherhadyou?"
"Herstatebeforeyoucame——whichwaswhatmademeaskyouhowmuchyouhadseenher。Andherstateafterit,"Mrs。Dyottadded。"Andherstate,"shewoundup,"whileyouwerehere。"
"ButherstatewhileIwasherewascharming。"
"Charming。That’sjustwhatIsay。"
Shesaiditinatonethatplacedthematterinitsrightlight——alightinwhichtheyappearedkindly,quitetenderly,towatchMaudwanderawayintospacewithherlovelyheadbentunderatheoryrathertoobigforit。Voyt’slastword,however,wasthattherewasjustenoughinit——inthetheory——forthemtoallowthatshehadnotshownherself,ontheoccasionoftheirtalk,whollybereftofsense。Herconsciousness,iftheyletitalone——astheyofcourseafterthismercifullymust——WAS,inthelastanalysis,akindofshyromance。Notaromanceliketheirown,athingtomakethefortuneofanyauthoruptothemark——onewhoshouldhavetheinventionorwhoCOULDhavethecourage;butasmallscaredstarvedsubjectivesatisfactionthatwoulddohernoharmandnobodyelseanygood。Whobutaduffer——hestucktohiscontention——wouldseetheshadowofa"story"init?
FLICKERBRIDGE
CHAPTERI
FrankGrangerhadarrivedfromParistopaintaportrait——anordergivenhim,asayoungcompatriotwithafuture,whoseearlyworkwouldsomedayhaveaprice,byaladyfromNewYork,afriendofhisownpeopleandalso,asithappened,ofAddie’s,theyoungwomantowhomitwaspubliclybothaffirmedanddeniedthathewasengaged。OtheryoungwomeninParis——fellow-membersthereofthelittletighttranspontineworldofart-study——professedtoknowthatthepairhad"severaltimes"overrenewedtheirfondunderstanding。This,however,wastheirownaffair;thelastphaseoftherelation,thelasttimeofthetimes,hadpassedintovagueness;therewasperhapsevenanimpressionthatiftheywereinscrutabletotheirfriendstheywerenotwhollycrystallinetoeachotherandthemselves。WhathadoccurredforGrangeratalleventsinconnexionwiththeportraitwasthatMrs。Bracken,hisintendingmodel,whosereturntoAmericawasathand,hadsuddenlybeencalledtoLondonbyherhusband,occupiedtherewithpressingbusiness,buthadyetdesiredthatherdisplacementshouldnotinterrupthersittings。Theyoungman,atherrequest,hadfollowedhertoEnglandandprofitedbyallshecouldgivehim,makingshiftwithasmallstudiolenthimbyaLondonpainterwhomhehadknownandlikedafewyearsbeforeintheFrenchatelierthatthencradled,andthatcontinuedtocradle,somanyoftheirkind。
TheBritishcapitalwasastrangegreyworldtohim,wherepeoplewalked,inmorewaysthanone,byadimlight;buthewashappilyofsuchaturnthattheimpression,justasitcame,couldnowhereeverfailhim,andeventheworstofthesethingswasalmostasmuchanoccupation——puttingitonlyatthat——asthebest。Mrs。
Brackenmoreoverpassedhimon,andwhilethedarknessebbedalittleintheAprildayshefoundhimselfconsolinglycommittedtoacoupleoffreshsubjects。Thiscuthimoutworkformorethananothermonth,butmeanwhile,ashesaid,hesawalot——alotthat,withfrequencyandwithmuchexpression,hewroteabouttoAddie。
Shealsowrotetoherabsentfriend,butinbriefersnatches,ameagrenesstoherreasonsforwhichhehadlongsinceassented。
Shehadotherplayforherpenaswellas,fortunately,otherremuneration;aregularcorrespondencefora"prominentBostonpaper,"fitfulconnexionswithpublicsheetsperhapsalsoincasesfitful,andamindaboveallengrossedattimes,totheexclusionofeverythingelse,withthestudyoftheshortstory。Thislastwaswhatshehadmainlycomeouttogointo,twoorthreeyearsafterhehadfoundhimselfengulfedinthemysteryofCarolus。Shewasindeed,onherowndeepsea,moreengulfedthanhehadeverbeen,andhehadgrowntoacceptthesensethat,forprogresstoo,shesailedundermorecanvas。Ithadn’tbeenparticularlypresenttohimtillnowthathehadintheleastgoton,butthewayinwhichAddiehad——andevidentlystillmorewould——wasthetheme,asitwere,ofeverytongue。Shehadthirtyshortstoriesoutandninedescriptivearticles。HisthreeorfourportraitsoffatAmericanladies——theywereallfat,allladiesandallAmerican——
wereapoorshowcomparedwiththesetriumphs;especiallyasAddiehadbeguntothrowoutthatitwasabouttimetheyshouldgohome。
ItkeptperpetuallycomingupinParis,inthetranspontineworld,that,asthephrasewas,Americahadgrownmoreinterestingsincetheyleft。Addiewasattentivetotherumour,and,asfullofconscienceasshewasoftaste,ofpatriotismasofcuriosity,hadoftenputittohimfrankly,withwhathe,whowasofNewYork,recognisedasherNewEnglandemphasis:"I’mnotsure,youknow,thatwedoREALjusticetoourcountry。"Grangerfelthewoulddoitontheday——ifthedayevercame——heshouldirrevocablymarryher。Noothercountrycouldpossiblyhaveproducedher。
CHAPTERII
Butmeanwhileitbefellthat,inLondon,hewasstrickenwithinfluenzaandwithsubsequentsorrow。Theattackwasshortbutsharp——haditlastedAddiewouldcertainlyhavecometohisaid;
mostofablightreallyinitssecondarystage。Thegoodladieshissitters——theladieswiththefrizzledhair,withthediamondearrings,withthechinstendingtothemassive——leftforhim,atthedoorofhislodgings,flowers,soupandlove,sothatwiththeirassistancehepulledthrough;buthisconvalescencewasslowandhisweaknessoutofproportiontothemuffledshock。Hecameout,buthewentaboutlame;ittiredhimtopaint——hefeltasifhehadbeenillthreemonths。HestrolledinKensingtonGardenswhenheshouldhavebeenatwork;hesatlongonpennychairsandhelplesslymusedandmooned。AddiedesiredhimtoreturntoParis,buttherewerechancesunderhishandthathefelthehadjustwitenoughleftnottorelinquish。Hewouldhavegoneforaweektothesea——hewouldhavegonetoBrighton;butMrs。Brackenhadtobefinished——Mrs。Brackenwassosoontosail。Hejustmanagedtofinishherintime——thedaybeforethedatefixedforhisbreakinggroundonagreaterbusinessstill,thecircumvallationofMrs。
Dunn。Mrs。Dunndulywaitedonhim,andhesatdownbeforeher,feeling,however,ereherose,thathemusttakealongbreathbeforetheattack。Whileaskinghimselfthatnight,therefore,whereheshouldbestreplenishhislungshereceivedfromAddie,whohadhadfromMrs。Brackenapoorreportofhim,acommunicationwhich,besidesbeingofsuddenandstartlinginterest,applieddirectlytohiscase。
Hisfriendwrotetohimunderthelivelyemotionofhavingfromonedaytoanotherbecomeawareofanewrelative,anancientcousin,asequesteredgentlewoman,thesolesurvivalof"theEnglishbranchofthefamily,"stillresident,atFlickerbridge,inthe"oldfamilyhome,"andwithwhom,thathemightimmediatelybetakehimselftosoauspiciousaquarterforchangeofair,shehadalreadydonewhatwaspropertoplacehim,asshesaid,intouch。
Whatcameofitall,tobebrief,wasthatGrangerfoundhimselfsoplacedalmostasheread:hewasintouchwithMissWenhamofFlickerbridge,totheextentofbeingincorrespondencewithher,beforetwenty-fourhourshadsped。Andontheseconddayhewasinthetrain,settledforafive-hours’runtothedoorofthisamiablewomanwhohadsoabruptlyandkindlytakenhimontrustandofwhombutyesterdayhehadneversomuchasheard。Thiswasanoddity——thewholeincidentwas——ofwhich,inthecornerofhiscompartment,asheproceeded,hehadtimetotakethesize。Butthesurprise,theincongruity,ashefelt,couldbutdeepenashewent。Itwasasufficientlyqueernote,inthelight,ortheabsenceofit,ofhislateexperience,thatsocomplexaproductasAddieshouldhaveANYsimpleinsulartie;butitwasaqueerernotestillthatsheshouldhavehadonesolongonlytoremainunprofitablyunconsciousofit。Nottohavedonesomethingwithit,usedit,workedit,talkedaboutitatleast,andperhapsevenwritten——thesethings,attherateshemoved,representedalossofopportunityunderwhichashesawher,shewaspeculiarlyformedtowince。Shewasatanyrate,itwasclear,doingsomethingwithitnow;usingit,workingit,certainly,alreadytalking——and,yes,quitepossiblywriting——aboutit。Shewasinshortsmartlymakingupwhatshehadmissed,andhecouldtakesuchcomfortfromhisownactionashehadbeenhelpedtobytherestofthefacts,succinctlyreportedfromParisontheverymorningofhisstart。
Itwasthesingularstoryofasharpsplit——inagoodEnglishhouse——thatdatednowfromyearsback。AworthyBriton,ofthebestmiddlingstock,had,duringthefourthdecadeofthecentury,asaveryyoungman,inDresden,whitherhehadbeendespatchedtoqualifyinGermanforastoolinanuncle’scounting-house,met,admired,wooedandwonanAmericangirl,ofdueattractions,domiciledatthatperiodwithherparentsandasister,whowasalsoattractive,intheSaxoncapital。Hehadmarriedher,takenhertoEngland,andthere,aftersomeyearsofharmonyandhappiness,losther。Thesisterinquestionhad,afterherdeath,cometohimandtohisyoungchildonavisit,theeffectofwhich,betweenthepair,eventuallydefineditselfasasentimentthatwasnottoberesisted。Thebereavedhusband,yieldingtoanewattachmentandanewresponse,andfindinganewunionthusprescribed,hadyetbeenforcedtoreckonwiththeunaccommodatinglawoftheland。Encompassedwithfrownsinhisowncountry,however,marriagesofthisparticulartypewerewreathedinsmilesinhissister’s-in-law,sothathisremedywasnotforbidden。
Choosingbetweentwoallegianceshehadlettheonegothatseemedtheleastclose,andhadinbrieftransplantedhispossibilitiestoaneasierair。TheknotwastiedforthecoupleinNewYork,where,toprotectthelegitimacyofsuchotherchildrenasmightcometothem,theysettledandprospered。Childrencame,andoneofthedaughters,growingupandmarryinginherturn,was,ifFrankrightlyfollowed,themotherofhisownAddie,whohadbeendeprivedoftheknowledgeofherindeed,inchildhood,bydeath,andbeenbroughtup,thoughwithoutunduetension,byastepmother——
acharacterbreakingoutthusanew。
ThebreachproducedinEnglandbytheinvidiousaction,asitwasthereheld,ofthegirl’sgrandfather,hadnotfailedtowiden——allthemorethatnothinghadbeendoneontheAmericansidetocloseit。Frigidityhadsettled,andhostilityhadbeenarrestedonlybyindifference。Darknessthereforehadfortunatelysupervened,andacousinshipcompletelydivided。Oneithersideoftheimpassablegulf,oftheimpenetrablecurtain,eachbranchhadputforthitsleaves——afoliagefailing,intheAmericanquarter,itwasdistinctenoughtoGranger,ofnosignorsymptomofclimateandenvironment。ThegraftinNewYorkhadtaken,andAddiewasavivid,anunmistakableflower。AtFlickerbridge,orwherever,ontheotherhand,strangetosay,theparentstemhadhadafortunecomparativelymeagre。Fortune,itwastrue,inthevulgarestsense,hadattendedneitherparty。Addie’simmediatebelongingswereaspoorastheywerenumerous,andhegatheredthatMissWenham’spretensionstowealthwerenotsomarkedastoexposetheclaimofkinshiptotheimputationofmotive。Tothislady’ssingleidentitytheoriginalstockhadatalleventsdwindled,andouryoungmanwasproperlywarnedthathewouldfindhershyandsolitary。Whatwassingularwasthatintheseconditionssheshoulddesire,sheshouldendure,toreceivehim。Butthatwasallanotherstory,lucidenoughwhenmastered。HekeptAddie’sletters,exceptionallycopious,inhislap;heconnedthematintervals;heheldthethreads。
HelookedoutbetweenwhilesatthepleasantEnglishland,anAprilaquarellewashedinwithwondrousbreadth。HeknewtheFrenchthing,heknewtheAmerican,buthehadknownnothingofthis。HesawitalreadyastheremarkableMissWenham’ssetting。Thedoctor’sdaughteratFlickerbridge,withnippersonhernose,apaletteonherthumbandinnocenceinherheart,hadbeenthemiraculouslink。Shehadbecomeawareeventhere,inourworldofwonders,thatthecurrentfashionforyoungwomensoequippedwastoentertheParisianlists。Addiehadaccordinglychanceduponher,ontheslopesofMontparnasse,asoneoftheEnglishgirlsinoneofthethorough-goingsets。Theyhadmetinsomeeasycollocationandhadfallenuponcommonground;afterwhichtheyoungwoman,restoredtoFlickerbridgeforaninterludeandretailingthereheradventuresandimpressions,hadmentionedtoMissWenhamwhohadknownandprotectedherfrombabyhood,thatthatlady’sownnameofAdelaidewas,aswellasthesurnameconjoinedwithit,borne,toherknowledge,inParis,byanextraordinaryAmericanspecimen。ShehadthenrecrossedtheChannelwithawonderfulmessage,acourteouschallenge,toherfriend’sduplicate,whohadinturngrantedthroughhereverysatisfaction。TheduplicatehadinotherwordsbravelyletMissWenhamknowexactlywhoshewas。MissWenham,inwhosepersonaltraditiontheflameofresentmentappearedtohavebeenreducedbytimetothepalestashes——forwhomindeedthestoryofthegreatschismwasnowbutalegendonlyneedingalittlelessdimnesstomakeitromantic——MissWenhamhadpromptlyrespondedbyaletterfragrantwiththehopethatoldthreadsmightbetakenup。Itwasarelationshipthattheymustpuzzleouttogether,andshehadearnestlysoundedtheotherpartytoitonthesubjectofapossiblevisit。Addiehadmetherwithadefinitepromise;shewouldcomesoon,shewouldcomewhenfree,shewouldcomeinJuly;
butmeanwhileshesentherdeputy。Frankaskedhimselfbywhatnameshehaddescribed,bywhatcharacterintroducedhimtoFlickerbridge。Hemainlyfeltonthewholeasifheweregoingtheretofindoutifhewereengagedtoher。HewasatseareallynowastowhichofthevariousviewsAddieherselftookofit。ToMissWenhamshemustdefinitelyhavetakenone,andperhapsMissWenhamwouldrevealit。Thisexpectationwasinfacthisexcuseforapossibleindiscretion。
CHAPTERIII
Hewasindeedtolearnonarrivaltowhathehadbeencommitted;
butthatwasforawhilesomuchapartofhisfirstgeneralimpressionthattheparticulartruthtooktimetodetachitself,thefirstgeneralimpressiondemandingverilyallhisfacultiesofresponse。Healmostfeltforadayortwothevictimofapracticaljoke,agrossabuseofconfidence。Hehadpresentedhimselfwiththemoderateamountofflutterinvolvedinasenseofduepreparation;buthehadthenfoundthat,howeverprimedwithprefacesandpromptedwithhints,hehadn’tbeenpreparedatall。
HowCOULDhebe,heaskedhimself,foranythingsoforeigntohisexperience,soalientohisproperworld,solittletobepreconceivedinthesharpnorthlightofthenewestimpressionism,andyetsorecognisedafterallintheevent,sonotedandtastedandassimilated?Itwasacasehewouldscarcehaveknownhowtodescribe——coulddoubtlesshavedescribedbestwithafullcleanbrush,supplementedbyaplayofgesture;foritwasalwayshishabittoseeanoccasion,ofwhateverkind,primarilyasapicture,sothathemightgetit,ashewaswonttosay,sothathemightkeepit,welltogether。Hehadbeentreatedofasudden,inthisadventure,tooneofthesweetestfairestcoolestimpressionsofhislife——onemoreovervisiblycompleteandhomogeneousfromthestart。OhitwasTHERE,ifthatwasallonewantedofathing!Itwasso"there"that,ashadbefallenhiminItaly,inSpain,confrontedatlast,induskyside-chapelorrichmuseum,withgreatthingsdreamedoforwithgreateronesunexpectedlypresented,hehadheldhisbreathforfearofbreakingthespell;hadalmost,fromthequickimpulsetorespect,toprolong,loweredhisvoiceandmovedontiptoe。Supremebeautysuddenlyrevealedisapttostrikeusasapossibleillusionplayingwithourdesire——instantfreedomwithittostrikeusasapossiblerashness。
Thisfortunately,however——andthemoresoashisfreedomforthetimequitelefthim——didn’tpreventhishostess,theeveningofhisadventandwhilethevisionwasnew,frombeingexactlyasqueerandrareandIMPAYABLE,asimprobable,asimpossible,asdelightfulattheeighto’clockdinner——sheappearedtokeeptheseimmensehours——asshehadoverwhelminglybeenatthefiveo’clocktea。Shewasinthemostnaturalwayintheworldoneoftheoddestapparitions,butthattheparticularmeanstosuchanendCOULDbenaturalwasaninferencedifficulttomake。Hefailedinfacttomakeitforacoupleofdays;butthen——thoughthenonly——hemadeitwithconfidence。Bythistimeindeedhewassureofeverything,luckilyincludinghimself。Ifwecomparehisimpression,withslightextravagance,tosomeofthegreatesthehadeverreceived,thisissimplybecausetheimagebeforehimwassoroundedandstamped。Itexpressedwithpureperfection,itexhausteditscharacter。Itwassoabsolutelyandsounconsciouslywhatitwas。
Hehadbeenfloatedbythestrangestofchancesoutoftherushingstreamintoaclearstillbackwater——adeepandquietpoolinwhichobjectsweresharplymirrored。Hehadhithertoinlifeknownnothingthatwasoldexceptafewstatuesandpictures;buthereeverythingwasold,wasimmemorial,andnothingsomuchsoastheveryfreshnessitself。Vaguelytohavesupposedthereweresuchnooksintheworldhaddonelittleenough,henowsaw,totempertheglareoftheiropposites。Itwasthefinetouchesthatcounted,andthesehadtobeseentobebelieved。
MissWenham,fifty-fiveyearsofageandunappeasablytimid,unaccountablystrange,had,onherreducedscale,analmostGothicgrotesqueness;butthefinaleffectofone’ssenseofitwasanamenitythataccompaniedone’sstepslikewaftedgratitude。Moreflurried,morespasmodic,moreapologetic,morecompletelyatalossatonemomentandmoreprecipitatelyaboundingatanother,hehadneverbeforeinallhisdaysseenanymaidenlady;yetfornomaidenladyhehadeverseenhadhesopromptlyconceivedaprivateenthusiasm。Hereyesprotruded,herchinrecededandhernosecarriedoninconversationaqueerlittleindependentmotion。Sheworeonthetopofherheadanuprightcircularcapthatmadeherresembleacaryatiddisburdened,andonotherpartsofherpersonstrangecombinationsofcolours,stuffs,shapes,ofmetal,mineralandplant。Thetonesofhervoiceroseandfell,herfacialconvulsions,whethertending——onecouldscarcemakeout——toexpressionorREpression,succeededeachotherbyalawoftheirown;shewasembarrassedatnothingandateverything,frightenedateverythingandatnothing,andsheapproachedobjects,subjects,thesimplestquestionsandanswersandthewholematerialofintercourse,eitherwiththeindirectnessofterrororwiththeviolenceofdespair。Thesethings,nonetheless,herrefinementsofoddityandintensitiesofcustom,herbetrayalatonceofconventionsandsimplicities,ofeaseandofagony,herroundaboutretardedsuggestionsandperceptions,stillpermittedhertostrikeherguestasirresistiblycharming。Hedidn’tknowwhattocallit;shewasafruitoftime。Shehadaqueerdistinction。Shehadbeenexpensivelyproducedandtherewouldbeagooddealmoreofhertocome。
Theresultofthewholequalityofherwelcome,atanyrate,wasthatthefirstevening,inhisroom,beforegoingtobed,herelievedhismindinalettertoAddie,which,ifspaceallowedustoembodyitinourtext,wouldusefullyperformtheofficeofa"plate。"Itwouldenableustopresentourselvesasprofuselyillustrated。Buttheprocessofreproduction,aswesay,costs。
Hewishedhisfriendtoknowhowgrandlytheiraffairturnedout。
Shehadputhiminthewayofsomethingabsolutelyspecial——anoldhouseuntouched,untouchable,indescribable,anoldcornersuchasonedidn’tbelieveexisted,andtheholycalmofwhichmadethechatterofstudios,thesmellofpaint,theslangofcritics,thewholesenseandsoundofParis,comebackassomanysignsofahugemonkey-cage。Hemovedabout,restless,whilehewrote;helightedcigarettesand,nervousandsuddenlyscrupulous,putthemoutagain;thenightwasmildandoneofthewindowsofhislargehighroom,whichstoodoverthegarden,wasup。Helosthimselfinthethingsabouthim,inthetypeoftheroom,thelastcenturywithnotachairmoved,notapointstretched。Hehungovertheobjectsandornaments,blissfullyfewandadorablygood,perfectpiecesall,andneverone,forachange,French。Thescenewasasrareassomefineoldprintwiththebestbitsdowninthecorners。
Oldbooksandoldpictures,allusionsrememberedandaspectsconjectured,reappearedtohim;heknewnotwhatanxiousislandershadbeentryingforintheirbackwardhuntforthehomely。ButthehomelyatFlickerbridgewasallstyle,evenasstyleatthesametimewasmerehonesty。Thelarger,thesmallerpast——hescarceknewwhichtocallit——wasatalleventssohushedtosleeproundhimashewrotethathehadalmostabadconscienceabouthavingcome。Howonemightloveit,buthowonemightspoilit!Tolookatittoohardwaspositivelytomakeitconscious,andtomakeitconsciouswaspositivelytowakeitup。Itsonlysafety,ofatruth,wastobeleftstilltosleep——tosleepinitslargefairchambersandunderitshighcleancanopies。
Headdedthusrestlesslyalinetohisletter,maunderedroundtheroomagain,notedandfingeredsomethingelse,andthen,droppingontheoldfloweredsofa,sustainedbythetightcubesofitscushions,yieldedafreshtothecigarette,hesitated,stared,wroteafewwordsmore。HewantedAddietoknow,thatwaswhathemostfelt,unlessheperhapsfelt,morehowmuchsheherselfwouldwantto。Yes,whathesupremelysawwasallthatAddiewouldmakeofit。Uptohisneckinittherehefairlyturnedcoldatthesenseofsuppressedopportunity,oftheoutrageofprivationthathiscorrespondentwouldretrospectivelyand,asheevendivinedwithavagueshudder,almostvindictivelynurse。Well,whathadhappenedwasthattheacquaintancehadbeenkeptforher,likeapacketenvelopedandsealedfordelivery,tillherattentionwasfree。Hesawherthere,heardherandfelther——felthowshewouldfeelandhowshewould,assheusuallysaid,"rave。"Someofheryoungcompatriotscalledit"yell,"andinthereferenceitself,alas!
illustratedtheirmeaning。Shewouldunderstandtheplaceatanyrate,downtotheground;therewasn’ttheslightestdoubtofthat。
Hersenseofitwouldbeexactlylikehisown,andhecouldsee,inanticipation,justthetermsofrecognitionandraptureinwhichshewouldabound。Heknewjustwhatshewouldcallquaint,justwhatshewouldcallbland,justwhatshewouldcallweird,justwhatshewouldcallwild。Shewouldtakeitallinwithanintelligencemuchmorefittedthanhisown,infact,todealwithwhathesupposedhemustregardasitsliteraryrelations。Shewouldhavereadthelong-windedobsoletememoirsandnovelsthatboththefiguresandthesettingoughtclearlytoremindoneof;
shewouldknowaboutthepastgenerations——thelumberingcountrymagnatesandtheirturbanedwivesandround-eyeddaughters,who,inotherdays,hadtreatedtheruddysturdytradelesstown,——thesolidsquarehousesandwidewalledgardens,thestreetsto-dayallgrassandgossip,asthesceneofalocal"season。"Shewouldhavewarrantfortheassemblies,dinners,deeppotations;forthesmokedsconcesintheduskyparlours;forthelongmuddycenturyoffamilycoaches,"holsters,"highwaymen。Shewouldputafingerinshort,justashehaddone,onthevitalspot——therichhumilityofthewholething,thefactthatneitherFlickerbridgeingeneralnorMissWenhaminparticular,noranythingnoranyoneconcerned,hadasuspicionoftheircharactersandtheirmerit。Addieandhewouldhavetocometoletinlight。
Heletitinthen,littlebylittle,beforegoingtobed,throughtheeightortenpagesheaddressedtoher;assuredherthatitwasthehappiestcaseintheworld,alittlepicture——yetfullof"style"too——absolutelycomposedandtransmitted,withtradition,andtraditiononly,ineverystroke,traditionstillnoiselesslybreathingandvisiblyflushing,markingstrangehoursinthetallmahoganyclocksthatwereneverwoundupandthatyetaudiblytickedon。Alltheelements,hewassureheshouldsee,wouldhangtogetherwithacharm,presentinghishostess——astrangeiridescentfishfortheglazedexposureofanaquarium——asafloatinhernativemedium。Helefthisletteropenonthetable,but,lookingitovernextmorning,feltofasuddenindisposedtosendit。Hewouldkeepittoaddmore,fortherewouldbemoretoknow;yetwhenthreedayshadelapsedhestillhadnotsentit。Hesentinstead,afterdelay,amuchbrieferreport,whichhewasmovedtomakedifferentand,forsomereason,lessvivid。MeanwhilehelearnedfromMissWenhamhowAddiehadintroducedhim。Ittooktimetoarrivewithheratthatpoint,butaftertheRubiconwascrossedtheywentfarafield。
CHAPTERIV
"Ohyes,shesaidyouwereengagedtoher。Thatwaswhy——sinceI
HADbrokenout——shethoughtImightliketoseeyou;asIassureyouI’vebeensodelightedto。ButAREN’Tyou?"thegoodladyaskedasifshesawinhisfacesomegroundfordoubt。
"Assuredly——ifshesaysso。Itmayseemveryoddtoyou,butI
haven’tknown,andyetI’vefeltthat,beingnothingwhatevertoyoudirectly,Ineedsomewarrantforconsentingthustobethrustonyou。WeWERE,"theyoungmanexplained,"engagedayearago;
butsincethen(ifyoudon’tmindmytellingyousuchthings;I
feelnowasifIcouldtellyouanything!)Ihaven’tquiteknownhowIstand。Ithasn’tseemedwewereinapositiontomarry。
Thingsarebetternow,butIhaven’tquiteknownhowshe’dseethem。TheyweresobadsixmonthsagothatIunderstoodher,I
thought,asbreakingoff。Ihaven’tbroken;I’veonlyaccepted,forthetime——becausemenmustbeeasywithwomen——beingtreatedas’thebestoffriends。’Well,Itrytobe。Iwouldn’thavecomehereifIhadn’tbeen。Ithoughtitwouldbecharmingforhertoknowyou——whenIheardfromhertheextraordinarywayyouhaddawneduponher;andcharmingthereforeifIcouldhelphertoit。
AndifI’mhelpingyoutoknowHER,"hewenton,"isn’tthatcharmingtoo?"
"OhIsowantto!"MissWenhammurmuredinherunpracticalimpersonalway。"You’resodifferent!"shewistfullydeclared。
"It’sYOU,ifImayrespectfully,ecstaticallysayso,whoaredifferent。That’sthepointofitall。I’mnotsurethatanythingsoterriblereallyoughttohappentoyouastoknowus。"
"Well,"saidMissWenham,"Idoknowyoualittlebythistime,don’tI?AndIdon’tfinditterrible。It’sadelightfulchangeforme。"
"OhI’mnotsureyououghttohaveadelightfulchange!"
"Whynot——ifyoudo?"
"AhIcanbearit。I’mnotsureyoucan。I’mtoobadtospoil——I
AMspoiled。I’mnobody,inshort;I’mnothing。I’venotype。
You’reALLtype。Ithastakendeliciouslongyearsofsecurityandmonotonytoproduceyou。Youfityourframewithaperfectiononlyequalledbytheperfectionwithwhichyourframefitsyou。Sothisadmirableoldhouse,alltime-softenedwhitewithinandtime-fadedredwithout,soeverythingthatsurroundsyouhereandthathas,bysomeextraordinarymercy,escapedtheinevitablefateofexploitation:soitall,Isay,isthesortofthingthat,wereittheleastbittofalltopieces,couldnever,ahnevermorebeputtogetheragain。Ihave,dearMissWenham,"Grangerwenton,happyhimselfinhisextravagance,whichwasyetallsincere,andhappierstillinherdeepbutaltogetherpleasedmystification——"I’vefound,doyouknow,justthethingonehaseverheardofthatyoumostresemble。You’retheSleepingBeautyintheWood。"
Hestillhadnocompunctionwhenheheardherbewilderedlysigh:
"Ohyou’retoodelightfullydroll!"
"No,Ionlyputthing’sjustastheyare,andasI’vealsolearnedalittle,thankheaven,toseethem——whichisn’t,Iquiteagreewithyou,atallwhatanyonedoes。You’reinthedeepdozeofthespellthathasheldyouforlongyears,anditwouldbeashame,acrime,towakeyouup。IndeedIalreadyfeelwithathousandscruplesthatI’mgivingyouthefatalshake。IsayiteventhoughitmakesmesoundalittleasifIthoughtmyselfthefairyprince。"
Shegazedathimwithherqueerestkindestlook,whichhewasgettingusedtoinspiteofafaintfear,atthebackofhishead,ofthestrangethingsthatsometimesoccurredwhenlonelyladies,howevermature,begantolookatinterestingyoungmenfromovertheseasasiftheyoungmendesiredtoflirt。"It’ssowonderful,"shesaid,"thatyoushouldbesoveryoddandyetsoverygood-natured。"Well,itallcametothesamething——itwassowonderfulthatSHEshouldbesosimpleandyetsolittleofabore。
Heacceptedwithgratitudethetheoryofhislanguor——whichmoreoverwasrealenoughandpartlyperhapswhyhewassosensitive;helethimselfgoasaconvalescent,letherinsistontheweaknessalwaysleftbyfever。Ithelpedhimtogaintime,topreservethespellevenwhilehetalkedofbreakingit;sawhimthroughslowstrollsandsoftsessions,longgossips,fitfulhopelessquestions——therewassomuchmoretotellthan,byanycontortion,sheCOULD——andexplanationsaddressedgallantlyandpatientlytoherunderstanding,butnot,bygoodfortune,reallyreachingit。Theywereperfectlyatcross-purposes,anditwasthebetter,andtheywanderedtogetherinthesilverhazewithallcommunicationblurred。
Whentheysatinthesuninherformalgardenhequiteknewhowlittleeventhetenderestconsiderationfailedtodisguisehistreatingherasthemostexquisiteofcuriosities。Thetermofcomparisonmostpresenttohimwasthatofsomeobsoletemusicalinstrument。Theold-timeorderofhermindandherairhadthestillnessofapaintedspinnetthatwasdulydusted,gentlyrubbed,butnevertunednorplayedon。Heropinionswerelikedriedrose-
leaves;herattitudeslikeBritishsculpture;hervoicewhatheimaginedofthepossibletoneoftheoldgildedsilver-stringedharpinoneofthecornersofthedrawing-room。Thelonelylittledecenciesandmodestdignitiesofherlife,thefinegrainofitsconservatism,theinnocenceofitsignorance,allitsmonotonyofstupidityandsalubrity,itscolddulnessanddimbrightness,weretherebeforehim。Meanwhilewithinhimstrangethingstookplace。
Itwasliterallytruethathisimpressionbeganagain,afteralull,tomakehimnervousandanxious,andforreasonspeculiarlyconfused,almostgrotesquelymingled,oratleastcomicallysharp。
Hewasdistinctlyanagitationandanewtaste——thathecouldsee;
andhesawquiteasmuchthereforetheexcitementshealreadydrewfromthevisionofAddie,animageintensifiedbythesenseofcloserkinshipandpresentedtoher,clearly,withvariouserraticenhancements,byherfriendthedoctor’sdaughter。Attheendofafewdayshesaidtoher:"Doyouknowshewantstocomewithoutwaitinganylonger?ShewantstocomewhileI’mhere。Ireceivedthismorningherletterproposingit,butI’vebeenthinkingitoverandhavewaitedtospeaktoyou。Thethingis,yousee,thatifshewritestoYOUproposingit——"
"OhIshallbesoparticularlyglad!"
CHAPTERV
Theywereasusualinthegarden,andithadn’tyetbeensopresenttohimthatifhewereonlyahappycadtherewouldbeagoodwaytoprotecther。Asshewouldn’thearofhisbeingyetbeyondprecautionsshehadgoneintothehouseforaparticularshawlthatwasjustthethingforhisknees,and,blinkinginthewaterysunshine,hadcomebackwithitacrossthefinelittlelawn。Hewasneitherfatuousnorasinine,buthehadalmosttoputittohimselfasasmalltasktoresistthesenseofhisabsurdadvantagewithher。Itfilledhimwithhorrorandawkwardness,madehimthinkofhedidn’tknowwhat,recalledsomethingofMaupassant’s——
thesmitten"MissHarriet"andhertragicfate。Therewasapreposterouspossibility——yes,heheldthestringsquiteinhishands——ofkeepingthetreasureforhimself。Thatwastheartoflife——whattherealartistwouldconsistentlydo。Hewouldclosethedooronhisimpression,treatitasaprivatemuseum。Hewouldseethathecouldloungeandlingerthere,livewithwonderfulthingsthere,lieuptheretorestandrefit。Forhimselfhewassurethatafteralittleheshouldbeabletopaintthere——dothingsinakeyhehadneverthoughtofbefore。Whenshebroughthimtherughetookitfromherandmadehersitdownonthebenchandresumeherknitting;then,passingbehindherwithalaugh,heplaceditoverherownshoulders;afterwhichhemovedtoandfrobeforeher,hishandsinhispocketsandhiscigaretteinhisteeth。Hewasashamedofthecigarette——avillainousfalsenote;
butsheallowed,liked,beggedhimtosmoke,andwhathesaidtoheronit,inoneofthepleasantriesshebenevolentlymissed,wasthathedidsoforfearofdoingworse。Thatonlyshowedhowtheendwasreallyinsight。"Idaresayitwillstrikeyouasquiteawful,whatI’mgoingtosaytoyou,butIcan’thelpit。Ispeakoutofthedepthsofmyrespectforyou。ItwillseemtoyouhorriddisloyaltytopoorAddie。Yes——thereweare;there_I_amatleastinmynakedmonstrosity。"Hestoppedandlookedathertillshemighthavebeenalmostfrightened。"Don’tlethercome。
Tellhernotto。I’vetriedtopreventit,butshesuspects。"
Thepoorwomanwondered。"Suspects?"
"Well,Idrewit,inwritingtoher,onreflexion,asmildasI
could——havingbeenvisitedinthewatchesofthenightbytheinstinctofwhatmighthappen。Somethingtoldmetokeepbackmyfirstletter——inwhich,underthefirstimpression,Imyselfrashly’raved’;andIconcoctedinsteadofitaninsincereandguardedreport。ButguardedasIwasIclearlydidn’tkeepyou’down,’aswesay,enough。Thewonderofyourcolour——daubyouoverwithgreyasImight——musthavecomethroughandtoldthetale。Shescentsbattlefromafar——bywhichImeanshescents’quaintness。’Butkeepheroff。It’shideous,whatI’msaying——butIoweittoyou。
Ioweittotheworld。She’llkillyou。"
"YoumeanIshan’tgetonwithher?"
"Ohfatally!Seehow_I_have。AndseehowyouhavewithME。
She’sintelligent,moreover,remarkablypretty,remarkablygood。
Andshe’lladoreyou。"
"Wellthen?"
"Whythatwillbejusthowshe’lldoforyou。"
"OhIcanholdmyown!"saidMissWenhamwiththeheadshakeofahorsemakinghissleigh-bellsrattleinfrostyair。
"Ahbutyoucan’tholdhers!She’llraveaboutyou。She’llwriteaboutyou。You’reNiagarabeforethefirstwhitetraveller——andyouknow,orratheryoucan’tknow,whatNiagarabecameAFTERthatgentleman。AddiewillhavediscoveredNiagara。She’llunderstandyouinperfection;she’llfeelyoudowntotheground;notadelicateshadeofyouwillsheloseorletanyoneelselose。
You’llbetooweirdforwords,butthewordswillneverthelesscome。You’llbetooexactlytherealthingandbelefttooutterlyjustasyouare,andallAddie’sfriendsandallAddie’seditorsandcontributorsandreaderswillcrosstheAtlanticandflocktoFlickerbridgejustinorderso——unanimously,universally,vociferously——toleaveyou。You’llbeinthemagazineswithillustrations;you’llbeinthepaperswithheadings;you’llbeeverywherewitheverything。Youdon’tunderstand——youthinkyoudo,butyoudon’t。HeavenforbidyouSHOULDunderstand!That’sjustyourbeauty——your’sleeping’beauty。Butyouneedn’t。Youcantakemeontrust。Don’thaveher。Giveasapretext,asareason,anythingintheworldyoulike。Lietoher——scareheraway。I’llgoawayandgiveyouup——I’llsacrificeeverythingmyself。"Grangerpursuedhisexhortation,convincinghimselfmoreandmore。"IfIsawmywayout,mywaycompletelythrough,I’D
pileupsomefabricoffictionforher——Ishouldonlywanttobesureofitsnottumblingdown。Onewouldhave,yousee,tokeepthethingup。ButI’dthrowdustinhereyes。I’dtellheryoudon’tdoatall——thatyou’renotinfactadesirableacquaintance。
I’dtellheryou’revulgar,improper,scandalous;I’dtellheryou’remercenary,designing,dangerous;I’dtellhertheonlysafecourseisimmediatelytoletyoudrop。I’dthussurroundyouwithanimpenetrablelegendofconscientiousmisrepresentation,acircleofpiousfraud,andallthewhileprivatelykeepyouformyself。"
Shehadlistenedtohimasifhewereabandofmusicandsheherselfasmallshygarden-party。"Ishouldn’tlikeyoutogoaway。Ishouldn’tintheleastlikeyounottocomeagain。"
"Ahthereitis!"hereplied。"HowcanIcomeagainifAddieruinsyou?"
"Buthowwillsheruinme——evenifshedoeswhatyousay?IknowI’mtoooldtochangeandreallymuchtooqueertopleaseinanyoftheextraordinarywaysyouspeakof。Ifit’saquestionofquizzingmeIdon’tthinkmycousin,oranyoneelse,willhavequitethehandforitthatYOUseemtohave。SothatifYOU
haven’truinedme——!"
"ButIHAVE——that’sjustthepoint!"Grangerinsisted。"I’veunderminedyouatleast。I’veleftafterallterriblylittleforAddietodo。"
Shelaughedincleartones。"Wellthen,we’lladmitthatyou’vedoneeverythingbutfrightenme。"
Helookedatherwithsurpassinggloom。"No——thatagainisoneofthemostdreadfulfeatures。You’llpositivelylikeit——what’stocome。You’llbecaughtupinachariotoffireliketheprophet——
wasn’tthere,wasthereone?——ofold。That’sexactlywhy——ifonecouldbuthavedoneit——you’dhavebeentobekeptignorantandhelpless。There’ssomethingorotherinLatinthatsaysit’sthefinestthingsthatchangethemosteasilyfortheworse。Youalreadyenjoyyourdishonourandrevelinyourshame。It’stoolate——you’relost!"
CHAPTERVI
Allthiswasaspleasantamannerofpassingthetimeasanyother,foritdidn’tpreventhisold-worldcornerfromclosingroundhimmoreentirely,norstandinthewayofhismakingoutfromdaytodaysomenewsourceaswellassomeneweffectofitsvirtue。Hewasreallyscaredatmomentsatsomeofthelibertieshetookintalk——atfindinghimselfsofamiliar;forthegreatnoteoftheplacewasjustthatacertainmoderneasehadnevercrosseditsthreshold,thatquickintimaciesandquickoblivionswereastrangertoitsair。Ithadknowninallitsdaysnorude,noloudinvasion。Serenelyunconsciousofmostcontemporarythings,ithadbeensoofnothingsomuchasofthediffusedsocialpracticeofrunninginandout。GrangerheldhisbreathonoccasionstothinkhowAddiewouldrun。Thereweremomentswhen,morethanatothers,forsomereason,heheardhersteponthestaircaseandhercryinthehall。Ifheneverthelessplayedfreelywiththeideawithwhichwehaveshownhimasoccupieditwasn’tthatinallpalpablewayshedidn’tsacrificesofarasmortallypossibletostillness。
Heonlyhovered,eversolightly,totakeupagainhisthread。Shewouldn’thearofhisleavingher,ofhisbeingintheleastfitagain,asshesaid,totravel。ShespokeofthejourneytoLondon——
whichwasinfactamatterofmanyhours——asanexperimentfraughtwithlurkingcomplications。Headdedthendaytoday,yetonlyhereby,asheremindedher,givingothercomplicationsalargerchancetomultiply。Hekeptitbeforeher,whentherewasnothingelsetodo,thatshemustconsider;afterwhichhehadhistimesoffearthatsheperhapsreallywouldmakeforhimthissacrifice。
HeknewshehadwrittenagaintoParis,andknewhemusthimselfagainwrite——asituationaboundingforeachintheelementsofaplight。Ifhestayedsolongwhythenhewasn’tbetter,andifhewasn’tbetterAddiemighttakeitintoherhead——!TheymustmakeitclearthatheWASbetter,sothat,suspicious,alarmedatwhatwaskeptfromher,sheshouldn’tsuddenlypresentherselftonursehim。Ifhewasbetter,however,whydidhestaysolong?Ifhestayedonlyfortheattractionthesenseoftheattractionmightbecontagious。Thiswaswhatfinallygrewclearestforhim,sothathehadforhismilddisciplehoursofstillsharperprophecy。Itconsortedwithhisfancytorepresenttoherthattheiryoungfriendhadbeenbythistimeunsparinglywarned;butnothingcouldbeplainerthanthatthiswasineffectualsolongashehimselfresistedtheordeal。Topleadthatheremainedbecausehewastooweaktomovewasonlytothrowthemselvesbackontheotherhornoftheirdilemma。IfhewastooweaktomoveAddiewouldbringhimherstrength——ofwhich,whenshegotthere,shewouldgivethemspecimensenough。Onemorninghebrokeoutatbreakfastwithanintimateconviction。They’dseethatshewasactuallystarting——
they’dreceiveawirebynoon。Theydidn’treceiveit,butbyhistheorytheportentwasonlythestronger。Ithadmoreoveritsgraveaswellasitsgayside,sinceGranger’sparadoxandpleasantrywereonlythemethodmostopentohimofconveyingwhathefelt。Heliterallyheardtheknellsound,andinexpressingthistoMissWenhamwiththeconversationalfreedomthatseemedbesttopayhiswayhethemorevividlyfacedthecontingency。Hecouldneverreturn,andthoughheannounceditwithadespairthatdidwhatmightbetomakeitpassasajoke,hesawhow,whetherornosheatlastunderstood,shequiteatlastbelievedhim。Onthis,tohisknowledge,shewroteagaintoAddie,andthecontentsofherletterexcitedhiscuriosity。Butthatsentiment,thoughnotassuaged,quitedroppedwhen,thedayafter,intheevening,shelethimknowshehadhadatelegramanhourbefore。
"ShecomesThursday。"
Heshowednottheleastsurprise。Itwasthedeepcalmofthefatalist。ItHADtobe。"Imustleaveyouthento-morrow。"
Shelooked,onthis,ashehadneverseenher;itwouldhavebeenhardtosaywhetherwhatshowedinherfacewasthelastfailuretofolloworthefirstefforttomeet。"Andreallynottocomeback?"