"YoureallylikemysweetLena?"shesaid。"Iamsoglad。Whatwereyoutalkingabout,withher?Shemadeyouexertallyourpowersofconversation,andsheseemedtobedeeplyinterested。"
Moreover-acting!Anothermistake!AndIcouldseethroughit!WithnoEnglishsubjectwhichwecoulddiscussincommon,LadyLena’sreadytactalludedtomypastlife。Mrs。RoylakehadtoldherthatIwaseducatedataGermanUniversity。Shehadheardvaguelyofstudentswithlonghair,whoworeHessianboots,andfoughtduels;andsheappealedtomyexperiencetotellhersomethingmore。Ididmybesttointeresther,withveryindifferentsuccess,andwasundeservedlyrewardedbyapatientattention,whichpresentedtheunselfishrefinementsofcourtesyundertheirmostperfectform。
Butletmedomystep-motherjustice。Shecontrivedtobendmetoherwill,beforesheleftthesmoking-room——IamsureIdon’tknowhow。
"Youhaveentertainedthecharmingdaughtersatdinner,"sheremindedme;
"andtheleastyoucando,afterthat,istopayyourrespectstotheirnoblefather。Inyourposition,mydearboy,youcannotneglectourEnglishcustomswithoutproducingtheworstpossibleimpression。"
Intwowords,Ifoundmyselfpledged,underpretenceofvisitingmylord,toimprovemyacquaintancewithLadyLenaonthenextday。
"Andpraybecareful,"Mrs。Roylakeproceeded,stillbravingtheatmosphereofthesmoking-room,"nottolooksurprisedifyoufindLordUppercliff’shousepresentingratherapoorappearancejustnow。"
Iwasdyingforanothercigar,andIentirelymisunderstoodthewordsofwarningwhichhadjustbeenaddressedtome。Itriedtobringourinterviewtoaclosebymakingagenerousproposal。
"Doeshewantmoney?"Iasked。"I’lllendhimsomewiththegreatestpleasure。"
Mrs。Roylake’shorrorexpresseditselfinalittlethinwiryscream。
"Oh,Gerard,whatpeopleyoumusthavelivedamong!Whatshockingignoranceofmylord’senormousfortune!Heandhisfamilyhaveonlyjustreturnedtotheircountryseat,afteralongabsence——parliamentyouknow,andforeignbaths,andsoon——andtheirEnglishestablishmentisnotyetcomplete。Idon’tknowwhatmistakeyoumaynotmakenext。DolistentowhatIwanttosaytoyou。"
Listening,Imustacknowledge,withanabsentmind,myattentionwassuddenlyseizedbyMrs。Roylake——withouttheslightestconsciousefforttowardsthatend,onthepartoftheladyherself。
Thefirstwordsthatstartledme,inherflowofspeech,werethese:
"AndImustnotforgettotellyouofpoorLordUppercliff’smisfortune。
Hehadafall,sometimesince,andbrokehisleg。AsIthink,hewassounwiseastoletaplausibleyoungsurgeonsetthebrokenbone。Anyway,theendofitisthatmylordslightlylimpswhenhewalks;andprayrememberthathehatestoseeitnoticed。LadyRacheldoesn’tagreewithmeinattributingherfather’slamenesstohissurgeon’swantofexperience。Betweenourselves,themanseemstohaveinterestedher。Veryhandsome,veryclever,veryagreeable,andthemannersofagentleman。
Whenhismedicalservicescametoanend,hewasquiteanacquisitionattheirpartiesinLondon——withonedrawback:hemysteriouslydisappeared,andhasneverbeenheardofsince。AskLadyLenaaboutit。Shewillgiveyouallthedetails,withouthereldersister’sbiasinfavourofthehandsomeyoungman。Whataprettycomplimentyouarepayingme!YoureallylookasifIhadinterestedyou。"
KnowingwhatIknew,Iwasunquestionablyinterested。
AlthoughtherecentreturnofLordUppercliffandhisdaughtertotheircountryhomehad,asyet,allowednoopportunityofameeting,outofdoors,betweenthedeafLodgerandthefriendswhomhehadlostsightof——nodoubtatthetimeofhisseriousillness——still,theinevitablediscoverymighthappenonanyday。Whatresultwouldfollow?AndwhatwouldbetheeffectonLadyRachel,whenshemetwiththefascinatingyoungsurgeon,anddiscoveredtheterriblechangeinhim?
CHAPTERX
WARNED!
Wewerealoneintheglade,bythesideofthespring。Atthatearlyhourtherewerenointerruptionstodread;butCristelwasillatease。Sheseemedtobeeagertogetbacktothecottageassoonaspossible。
"Fathertellsme,"shebeganabruptly,"hesawyouattheboathouse。Anditseemedtohim,thatyouwerebehavingyourselflikeafriendtothatterribleman。"
Iremindedherofmyhavingexpressedthefearthatwehadbeenneedlesslyhardonhim;and,Iaddedthathehadwrittenaletterwhichconfirmedmeinthatopinion。Shelooked,notonlydisappointed,butevenalarmed。
"Ihadhoped,"shesaidsadly,"thatfatherwasmistaken。"
"Solittlemistaken,"Iassuredher,"thatIamgoingtodrinkteawiththemanwhoseemstofrightenyou。IhopehewillaskyoutomeetSherecoiledfromthebareideaofaninvitation。
"WillyouhearwhatIwanttotellyou?"shesaidearnestly。"YoumayalteryouropinionifyouknowwhatIhavebeenfoolishenoughtodo,whenyousawmegototheothersideofthecottage。"
"DearCristel,IknowwhatIowetoyourkindinterestinmeonthatoccasion!"BeforeIcouldsayawordofapologyforhavingwrongedherbymysuspicions,sheinsistedonanexplanationofwhatIhadjustsaid。
"Didhementionitinhisletter?"sheasked。
IownedthatIhadobtainedmyinformationinthisway。AndIdeclaredthathehadexpressedhisadmirationofher,andhisbeliefinher,intermswhichmadeitasubjectofregrettomenottobeabletoshowwhathehadwritten。
Cristelforgotherfearofourbeinginterrupted。Herdismayexpresseditselfinacrythatrangthroughthewood。
"Youevenbelieveinhisletter?"sheexclaimed。"Mr。Gerard!HiswritinginthatwaytoYouaboutMeisaproofthathelies;andI’llmakeyouseeit。Ifyouwereanybodyelsebutyourself,Iwouldleaveyoutoyourfate。Yes,yourfate,"shepassionatelyrepeated。"Oh,forgiveme,sir!
I’mbehavingdisrespectfully;Ibegyourpardon。No,no;letmegoon。
WhenIspoketohiminyourbestinterests(asIdidmosttrulybelieve)
IneversuspectedwhatmischiefIhaddone,tillIlookedinhisface。
Then,Isawhowhehatedyou,andhowvilelyhewasthinkinginsecretofme——"
Puredelusion!HowcouldIallowittogoon?Iinterruptedher。
"Mydear,youhavequitemistakenhim。AsIhavealreadysaid,hesincerelyrespectsyou——andheownsthathemisjudgedmewhenheandI
firstmet。"
"What!Is_that_inhislettertoo?It’sworseeventhanIfeared。Again,andagain,andagain,Isayit"——shestampedonthegroundinthefervorofherconviction——"hehatesyouwiththehatredthatneverforgivesandneverforgets。Youthinkhimagoodman。DoyousupposeIwouldhavebeggedandprayedofmyfathertosendhimaway,withouthavingreasonsthatjustifiedme?Mr。Gerard,youforcemetotellyouwhatmyunluckyvisitdidputintohishead。Yes,hedoesbelieve——believesfirmly——thatyouhaveforgottenwhatisduetoyourrank;thatIhavebeenwickedenoughtoforgetittoo;andthatyouaregoingtotakemeawayfromhim。
Saywhathemay,andwritewhathemay,heisdeceivingyouforhisownwickedends。Ifyougotodrinkteawithhim,Godonlyknowswhatcauseyoumayhavetoregretit。Forgivemeforbeingsoviolent,sir;Ihavedonenow。Youhavemademeverywretched,butyouaretoogoodandkindtomeanit。Good-bye。"
Itookherhand,Ipressedittenderly;Iwastouched,deeplytouched。
No!letmewritehonestly。Hereyesbetrayedher,hervoicebetrayedher,whileshesaidherpartingwords。WhatIsaw,whatIheard,wasnolongerwithinthelimitsofdoubt。Thesweetgirl’sinterestinmywelfarewasnotthemerelyfriendlyinterestwhichsheherselfbelievedittobe。AndIsaidjustnowthatIwas"touched。"Cant!Lies!IlovedhermoredearlythanIhadeverlovedheryet。Thereisthetruth——strippedofpoorprudery,andthemeanfearofbeingcalledVain!
WhatImighthavesaidtoher,iftheopportunityhadoffereditself,maybeeasilyimagined。BeforeIcouldopenmylips,amanappearedonthepathwhichledfromthemilltothespring——themanwhomCristelhadsecretlysuspectedofadesigntofollowher。
Ifeltherhandtremblinginmyhand,andgaveitalittleencouragingsqueeze。"Letusjudgehim,"Isuggested,"bywhathesaysanddoes,onfindingustogether。"
Withoutanattemptatconcealmentonhispart,headvancedtowardsusbriskly,smilingandwavinghishand。
"What,Mr。Roylake,youhavealreadyfoundoutthevirtuesofyourwonderfulspring,andyouaredrinkingthewaterbeforebreakfast!IhaveoftendoneitmyselfwhenIwasnottoolazytogetup。Andthischarminggirl,"hewenton,turningtoCristel,"hasshebeentryingthevirtuesofthespringbyyouradvice?Shewon’tlistentome,orIshouldhaverecommendeditlongsince。Seemesettheexample。"
Hetookasilvermugfromhispocket,anddescendedthefewstepsthatledtothespring。Allowingforthedreadfuldeafmonotonyinhisvoice,nomancouldhavebeenmoreinnocentlyjoyousandagreeable。Whilehewastakinghismorningdraught,IappealedtoCristel’sbettersense。
"Isthisthehypocrite,whoisdeceivingmeforhisownwickedends?"I
asked。"Doeshelooklikethejealousmonsterwhoisplottingmydestruction,andwhowillsucceedifIamfoolenoughtoaccepthisinvitation?"
Poordear,shewasasobstinateasever!"ThinkoverwhatIhavesaidtoyou——think,foryourownsake,"washeronlyreply。
"Andalittlefor_your_sake?"Iventuredtoadd。
Sheranawayfromme,takingthepathwhichwouldleadherhomeagain。
ThedeafmanandIwerelefttogether。Helookedafterheruntilshewasoutofsight。Thenheproducedhisbookofblankleaves。But,insteadofhandingittomeasusual,hebegantowriteinithimself。
"Ihavesomethingtosaytoyou,"heexplained。
Itwasonlypossible,whilethebookwasinhispossession,toremindhimthatIcouldhear,andthathecouldspeak,byusingthelanguageofsigns。Itouchedmylips,andpointedtohim;Itouchedmyear,andpointedtomyself。
"Yes,"hesaid,understandingmewithhiscustomaryquickness;"butI
wantyoutorememberaswellastohear。WhenIhavefilledthisleaf,I
shallbegyoutokeepitaboutyou,andtorefertoitfromtimetotime。"
Hewroteonsteadily,untilhehadfilledbothsidesoftheslipofpaper。
"Quitealittleletter,"hesaid。"Prayreadit。"
ThisiswhatIread:
"YoumusthaveseenforyourselfthatIwasincapableofinsultingyouandMissCristelbyanoutbreakofjealousy,whenIfoundyoutogetherjustnow。Onlyrememberthatweallhaveourweaknesses,andthatitismyhardlottobeinastateofcontestwiththeinheritedevilwhichisthecalamityofmylife。Withyourencouragement,Imayresisttemptationinthefuture,andkeepthebetterpartofmeinauthorityovermythoughtsandactions。But,beonyourguard,andadviseMissCristeltobeonherguard,againstfalseappearances。Asweallknow,theylieliketruth。Considerme。Pityme。Iasknomore。"
Straightforwardandmanlyandmodest——IappealtoanyunprejudicedmindwhetherIshouldnothavecommittedameanaction,ifIhadplacedanevilconstructiononthis?
"AmIunderstood?"heasked。
Isignedtohimtogivemehisbook,andrelievedhimofanxietyinthesewords:
"IfIhadfailedtounderstandyou,Ishouldhavefeltashamedofmyself。
MayIshowwhatyouhavewrittentoCristel?"
Hesmiled,moresweetlyandpleasantlythanIhadseenhimsmileyet。
"Ifyouwishit,"heanswered。"Ileaveitentirelytoyou。Thankyou——andgoodmorning。"
Havingadvancedafewstepsonhiswaytothecottage,hepaused,andremindedmeofthetea-drinking:"Don’tforgetto-morrowevening,atseveno’clock。"
CHAPTERXI
WARNEDAGAIN!
ThebreakfasthourhadnotyetarrivedwhenIgothome。Iwentintothegardentorefreshmyeyes——alittlewearyofthesolemnuniformityofcolorinFordwitchWood——bylookingattheflowers。
Reachingtheterrace,inthefirstplace,Iheardbelowmeaman’svoice,speakingintonesofangryauthority,andusinglanguagewhichexpressedanintentionofturningsomebodyoutofthegarden。Iatoncedescendedthestepswhichledtotheflower-beds。Themaninauthorityprovedtobeoneofmygardeners;andthemanthreatenedwithinstantexpulsionwastheoddly-dressedservantofthefriendwhomIhadjustleft。
Thepoorfellow’suglyfacepresentedapictureofshameandcontrition,themomentIshowedmyself。Hepiteouslyentreatedmetolookoverit,andtoforgivehim。
"Waitalittle,"Isaid。"LetmeseeifIhaveanythingtoforgive。"I
turnedtothegardener。"Whatisyourcomplaintofthisman?"
"He’satrespasseronyourgrounds,sir。And,hisimpudence,tosaytheleastofit,issuchasInevermetwithbefore。"
"Whatharmhashedone?"
"Harm,sir?"
"Yes——harm。Hashebeenpickingtheflowers?"
Thegardenerlookedroundhim,longingtorefermetothenecessaryevidence,andfailingtodiscoveritanywhere。Thewretchedtrespassertookheartofgrace,andsaidawordinhisowndefence。
"Nobodyeverknewmetomisbehavemyselfinagentleman’sgarden,"hesaid;"Iown,sir,tohavingtakenapeepattheflowers,overthewall。"
"Andtheytemptedyoutolookalittlecloseratthem?"
"That’sthetruth,sir。"
"Soyouarefondofflowers?"
"Yes,sir。Ioncefailedinbusinessasanurseryman——butIdon’tblametheflowers。"
Thedelightfulsimplicityofthiswaslostonthegardener。Iheardthebrutemuttertohimself:"Gammon!"ForonceIassertedmyauthorityovermyservant。
"Understandthis,"Isaidtohim:"Idon’tconfinetheenjoymentofmygardentomyselfandmyfriends。Anywell-behavedpersonsarewelcometocomehereandlookattheflowers。Rememberthat。Nowyoumaygo。"
Havingissuedtheseinstructions,Inextaddressedmyselftomyfriendintheshabbyshootingjacket;tellinghimtoroamwhereverheliked,andtostayaslongashepleased。Insteadofthankingmeandusinghisliberty,hehesitated,andlookedthoroughlyillatease。
"What’sthematternow?"Iasked。
"I’mafraidyoudon’tknow,sir,whoitisyouaresokindto。I’vebeensomethingelseinmytime,besidesanurseryman。"
"Whathaveyoubeen?"
"Aprize-fighter。"
Ifheexpectedmetoexhibitindignationorcontempt,hewasdisappointed。Myignorancetreatedhimascivillyasever。
"Whatisaprize-fighter?"Iinquired。
Theunfortunatepugilistlookedatmeinspeechlessbewilderment。ItoldhimthatIhadbeenbroughtupamongforeigners,andthatIhadneverevenseenanEnglishnewspaperforthelasttenyears。Thisexplanationseemedtoencouragethemanoffewwords:itsethimtalkingfreelyatlast。Hedeliveredatreatiseontheartofprizefighting,andhedidsomethingelsewhichIfoundmoreamusing——hetoldmehisname。Tomysmallsenseofhumorhisname,sotospeak,completedthisdelightfullyoddman:itwasGloody。Astothelistofhismisfortunes,theendlesslengthofitbecamesounendurablydroll,thatwebothindulgedinunfeelingfitsoflaughteroverthesorrowsofGloody。Thefirstluckyaccidentofthepoorfellow’slifehadbeen,literally,thediscoveryofhimbyhispresentmaster。
Thiseventinterestedme。IsaidIshouldliketohearhowithadhappened。
Gloodymodestlydescribedhimselfas"oneofthestarvinglot,sir,thatlooksoutforsmallerrands。Igotmyfirstdinnerforthreedays,bycarryingagentleman’sportmanteauforhim。Andhe,ifyouplease,wasafterwardsmymaster。Helivedalone。Blessyou,hewasasdeafthenasheisnow。Hesaystome,’Ifyoubawlinmyears,I’llknockyoudown。’
Ithoughttomyself,youwouldn’tsaythat,master,ifyouknewhowIwasemployedtwentyyearsago。Hetookmeintohisservice,sir,becauseI
wasugly。’I’msohandsomemyself;’hesays,’Iwantacontrastofsomethinguglyaboutme。’Youmayhavenoticedthathe’sabitterone——andbitterlyenoughhesometimesbehavedtome。Butthere’sagoodsidetohim。Hegivesmehisoldclothes,andsometimeshespeaksalmostaskindlytomeasyoudo。Butforhim,IbelieveIshouldhaveperishedofstarvation——"
Hesuddenlycheckedhimself。Whetherhewasafraidofwearyingme,orwhethersomepainfulrecollectionhadoccurredtohim,itwasofcourseimpossibletosay。
Theuglyface,towhichheowedhisfirstpoorlittlemorselofprosperity,becameovercloudedbycareanddoubt。BurstingintoexpressionsofgratitudewhichIhadcertainlynotdeserved——expressions,soevidentlysincere,thattheyborewitnesstoconstantill-usagesufferedinthecourseofhishardlife——heleftmewithaheadlonghasteofmovement,drivenawayasIfanciedbyanunquietmind。
Iwatchedhimretreatingalongthepath,andsawhimstopabruptly,stillwithhisbacktome。Hisdeepstrongvoicetravelledfartherthanhesupposed。Iheardhimsaytohimself:"WhataninfernalrascalIam!"Hewaitedalittle,andturnedmywayagain。Slowlyandreluctantly,hecamebacktome。AsheapproachedIsawtheman,whohadlivedbythepublicexhibitionofhiscourage,lookingatmewithfearplainlyvisibleinthechangeofhiscolor,andtheexpressionofhisface。
"Anythingwrong?"Iinquired。
"Nothingwrong,sir。MightIbesoboldastoask——"
Wewaitedalittle;Igavehimtimetocollecthisthoughts。Perhapsthesilenceconfusedhim。Anyhow,Iwasobligedtohelphimtogeton。
"Whatdoyouwishtoaskofme?"Isaid。
"Iwishedtospeak,sir——"
Hestoppedagain。
"Aboutwhat?"Iasked。
"Aboutto-morrowevening。"
"Well?"
Heburstoutwithit,atlast。"Areyoucomingtodrinkteawithmymaster?"
"Ofcourse,Iamcoming!Mr。Gloody,doyouknowthatyourathersurpriseme?"
"Ihopenooffence,sir。"
"Nonsense!Itseemsodd,mygoodfellow,thatyourmastershouldn’thavetoldyouIwascomingtodrinkteawithhim。Isn’tityourbusinesstogetthethingsready?"
Heshiftedfromonefoottoanother,andlookedasifhewishedhimselfoutofmyway。Atalatertimeofmylife,Ihaveobservedthatthesearesignsbywhichanhonestmanisapttoconfessthathehastold,orisgoingtotell,alie。Asitwas,Ionlynoticedthatheansweredconfusedly。
"Ican’tquitesay,Mr。Roylake,thatmymasterdidn’tmentionthethingtome。"
"Butyoufailedtounderstandhim——isthatit?"
"Well,sir,ifIwanttoaskhimanythingIhavetowriteit。I’mslowatwriting,andbadatwriting,andheisn’talwayspatient。However,asyouremindedmejustnow,Ihavegottogetthethingsready。Tocutitshort,perhapsImightsaythatIdidn’tquiteexpectthetea-partywouldcomeoff。"
"Whyshouldn’titcomeoff?"
"Well,sir,youmighthavesomeotherengagement。"
Wasthisahint?oronlyanexcuse?Ineithercaseitwashightime,ifhestillrefusedtospeakout,thatIshouldsethimtheexample。
"Youhavegivenmesomecuriousinformation,"Isaid,"onthesubjectoffightingwiththefists;andyouhavemademeunderstandthedifferencebetween’fairhitting’and’foulhitting’。Areyouhittingfairnow?VerylikelyIammistaken——butyouseemtometobetryingtopreventmyacceptingyourmaster’sinvitation。"
Hepulledoffhishatinahurry。
"Ibegyourpardon,sir;Iwon’tdetainyouanylonger。Ifyouwillallowme,I’lltakemyleave。"
"Don’tgo,Mr。Gloody,withouttellingmewhetherIamrightorwrong。Istherereallysomeobjectiontomycomingtoteatomorrow?"
"Quiteamistake,sir,"hesaid,stillinahurry。"I’veledyouwrongwithoutmeaningit——beinganignorantman,andnotknowinghowtoexpressmyself。Don’tthinkmeungrateful,Mr。Roylake!Afteryourkindnesstome,I’dgothroughfireandwaterforyou——Iwould!"
Hissunkeneyesmoistened,hisbigvoicefaltered。Ilethimleaveme,inmercytothestrongfeelingwhichIhadinnocentlyroused。ButIshookhandswithhimfirst。Yieldingtooneofmyheadlongimpulses?Yes。Anddoingaveryindiscreetthing?Waitalittle——andweshallsee。
CHAPTERXII
WARNEDFORTHELASTTIME!
Myloyaltytowardstheafflictedman,whosefriendlyadvancesIhadseengoodreasontoreturn,wasinnosenseshaken。Hisundeservedmisfortunes,hismanlyappealtomeatthespring,hishopelessattachmenttothebeautifulgirlwhoseaversiontowardshimIhadunhappilyencouraged,allpleadedwithmeinhisfavour。Ihadacceptedhisinvitation;andIhadnootherengagementtoclaimme:itwouldhavebeenanactofmeannessamountingtoaconfessionoffear,ifIhadsentanexcuse。Still,whileCristel’sentreatiesandCristel’sinfluencehadfailedtoshakeme,Gloody’sstrangelanguageandGloody’sincomprehensibleconducthadtroubledmymind。Ifeltvaguelyuneasy;
irritatedbymyowndepressionofspirits。IfIhadbeenaphilosopher,I
shouldhaverecognizedthesymptomsofaverycommonattackofaverywidely-spreadmoralmalady。Themeanestofallhumaninfirmitiesisalsothemostuniversal;andthenameofitisSelf-esteem。
Itisperhapsonlyrighttoaddthatmypatiencehadbeentriedbytheprogressofdomesticevents,whichaffectedLadyLenaandmyself——viewedasvictims。
Calling,withmystepmother,atLordUppercliff’shouselaterintheday,IperceivedthatLadyRachelandMrs。Roylakefound(ormade)anopportunityoftalkingtogetherconfidentiallyinacorner;and,onceortwice,IcaughtthemlookingatLadyLenaandatme。EvenLordUppercliff(perhapsnotyettakenintotheirconfidence)noticedtheproceedingsofthetwoladies,andseemedtobeatalosstounderstandthem。
WhenMrs。RoylakeandIweretogetheragain,onourwayhome,IwaspreparedtohearthepraiseofLadyLena,followedbyadelicateexaminationintothestateofmyheart。Neitheroftheseanticipationswasrealized。Oncemore,mycleverstepmotherhadpuzzledme。
Mrs。Roylaketalkedasfluentlyasever;exhaustingonecommon-placesubjectafteranother,withouttheslightestallusiontomylord’sdaughter,tomymatrimonialprospects,ortomyvisitsatthemill。Iwassecretlyannoyed,feelingthatmystepmother’ssingularindifferencetodomesticinterestsofparamountimportance,atothertimes,musthavesomeobjectinview,entirelybeyondthereachofmypenetration。IfI
haddaredtocommitsuchanactofrudeness,Ishouldhavejumpedoutofthecarriage,andhavetoldMrs。RoylakethatImeanttowalkhome。
ThedaywasSunday。Iloiteredaboutthegarden,listeningtothedistantchurch-bellringingfortheafternoonservice。WithoutanycausethatI
knewoftoaccountforit,IwassorestlessthatnothingIcoulddoattractedmeorquietedme。
Returningtothehouse,Itriedtooccupymyselfwithmycollectionofinsects,sadlyneglectedoflate。Useless!Myownmothsfailedtointerestme。
Iwentbacktothegarden。Passingtheopenwindowofoneofthelowerroomswhichlookedoutontheterrace,IsawMrs。Roylakereadingabookinsad-coloredbinding。Shewasyawningoveritfearfully,whenshediscoveredthatIwaslookingather。Equaltoanyemergency,thisremarkablewomaninstantlyhandedtomeasecondandsimilarvolume。"Themostprecioussermons,Gerard,thathavebeenwritteninourtime。"I
lookedatthebook;Iopenedthebook;Irecoveredmypresenceofmind,andhandeditback。Ifafemalehumbugwasononesideofthewindow,amalehumbugwasontheother。"Pleasekeepitformetilltheevening,"I
said;"Iamgoingforawalk。"
WhichwaydidIturnmysteps?
Menwillwonderwhatpossessedme——womenwillthinkitaproceedingthatdidmecredit——Itookthefamiliarroadwhichledtothegloomywoodandtheguiltyriver。ThelonginginmetoseeCristelagain,wasmorethanI
couldresist。NotbecauseIwasinlovewithher;onlybecauseIhadleftherindistress。
Beyondthespring,andwithinashortdistanceoftheriver,Isawaladyadvancingtowardsmeonthepathwhichledfromthemill。
Brisk,smiling,trippingalonglikeayounggirl,beholdthemock-republican,knowninourneighborhoodasLadyRachel!Sheheldoutbothhandstome。Butforherpetticoats,IshouldhavethoughtIhadmetwithajollyyoungman。
"Ihavebeenwanderinginyourgloriouswood,Mr。Roylake。AnythingtoescapetherespectableclassesonSunday,patronizingpietyonthewaytoafternoonchurch。Imustpositivelymakeasketchofthecottagebythemill——Imean,ofcourse,thepicturesquesideofit。ThatfinegirlofToller’swasstandingatthedoor。Sheisreallyhandsomerthanever。Areyougoingtoseeher,youwickedman?Whichdoyouadmire——thatgypsycomplexion,orLena’slovelyskin?Both,Ihavenodoubt,atyourage。
Good-bye。"
Whenwehadlefteachother,IthoughtoftheabsentCaptainintheNavywhowasLadyRachel’shusband。Hewasaperfectstranger——butIputmyselfinhisplace,andfeltthatItooshouldhavegonetosea。
OldTollerwasaloneinhiskitchen,evidentlyannoyedandangry。
"Weareallatsixesandsevens,Mr。Gerard。I’vehadanotherrowwiththatdeaf-devil——mynewnameforhim,andIthinkit’sratherclever。Heswears,sir,thathewon’tgoattheendofhisweek’snotice。Says,ifI
thinkI’mlikelytogetridofhimbeforehehasmarriedCristy,I’mmistaken。Threatens,ifanymanattemptstotakeheraway,he’llshoother,andshoottheman,andshoothimself。Aha!oldasIam,ifhebelieveshe’sgoingtohaveitallhisownway,he’smistaken。I’llbeevenwithhim。Youmarkmywords:I’llbeevenwithhim。"
ThatoldToller——themostexasperatingofmen,judgedbyaquicktemper——hadirritatedmyfriendintospeakingrashlywasplainenough。
Nevertheless,Ifeltsomeanxiety(jealousanxiety,Iamafraid)aboutCristel。Afterlookingroundthekitchenagain,Iaskedwhereshewas。
"Sittingforlorninherbedroom,crying,"herfathertoldme。"Iwentoutforawalkbytheriver,andIsatdown,and(beingSunday)Ifellasleep。WhenIwoke,andgothomeagainjustnow,thatwashowIfoundher。Idon’tliketohearmygirlcrying;she’sasgoodasgoldandbetter。No,sir;ourdeaf-devilisnottoblameforthis。HehasgivenCristynoreasontocomplainofhim。Shesayssoherself——andshenevertoldalieyet。"
"But,Mr。Toller,"Iobjected,"somethingmusthavehappenedtodistressher。Hasshenottoldyouwhatitis?"
"Notshe!Obstinateaboutit。Leavesmetoguess。It’scleartomymind,Mr。Gerard,thatsomebodyhasgotatherinmyabsence,andsaidsomethingtoupsether。Youwillaskmewhothepersonis。Ican’tsayI
havefoundthatoutyet。"
"Butyoumeantotry?"
"Yes;Imeantotry。"
Heansweredmewithlittleoftheenergywhichgenerallydistinguishedhim。Perhapshewasfatigued,orperhapshehadsomethingelsetothinkof。Iofferedasuggestion。
"Whenweareinwantofhelp,"Isaid,"wesometimesfindit,nearerthanwehadventuredtoexpect——atourowndoors。"
Theancientmillerroseatthathintlikeafishatafly。
"Gloody!"hecried。
"Findhimatonce,Mr。Toller。"
Hehobbledtothedoor——andlookedroundatme。"I’vegotburdensonmymind,"heexplained,"orIshouldhavethoughtofittoo。"Havingdonejusticetohisownabilities,hebustledout。Inlessthanaminute,hewasbackagaininastateofbreathlesstriumph。"Gloodyhasseentheperson,"heannounced;"and(whatdoyouthink,sir?)it’sawoman!"
IbeckonedtoGloody,waitingmodestlyatthedoor,tocomein,andtellmewhathehaddiscovered。
"Isawheroutside,sir——rappingatthedoorhere,withherparasol。"
Thatwastheservant’sreport。
Herparasol?NotbeingacquaintedwiththedevelopmentofdressamongfemaleservantsinEngland,Iaskedifshewasalady。Thereseemedtobenodoubtofitintheman’smind。Shewasalso,asGloodysupposed,apersonwhomhehadneverseenbefore。
"Howisityouarenotsureofthat?"Isaid。
"Well,sir,shewaswaitingtobeletin;andIwasbehindher,comingoutofthewood。"
"Wholetherin?"
"MissCristel。"Hisfacebrightenedwithanexpressionofinterestwhenhementionedthemiller’sdaughter。Hewentonwithhisstorywithoutwantingquestionstohelphim。"MissCristellookedlikeapersonsurprisedatseeingastranger——what_I_shouldcallafreeandeasystranger。Shewalkedin,sir,asiftheplacebelongedtoher。"
Iamnotsuspiciousbynature,asIhopeandbelieve。ButIbegantoberemindedofLadyRachelalready。
"Didyounoticethelady’sdress?"Iasked。
Awomanwhohadseenherwouldhavebeenabletodescribeeverymorselofherdressfromheadtofoot。Themanhadonlyobservedherhat;andallhecouldsaywasthathethoughtit"asmartishone。"
"Anyparticularcolor?"Iwenton。
"NotthatIknowof。Darkgreen,Ithink。"
"Anyornamentinit?"
"Yes!Apurplefeather。"
ThehatIhadseenontheheadofthathatefulwomanwasnowsufficientlydescribed——foraman。SlyoldToller,leavingGloodyunnoticed,andkeepinghiseyeonme,sawthesignsofconvictioninmyface,andsaidwithhiscustomaryaudacity:"Whoisshe?"
Ifollowed,atmyhumbledistance,theexampleofSirWalterScott,wheninquisitivepeopleaskedhimifhewastheauthoroftheWaverleyNovels。
InplainEnglish,Ideniedallknowledgeofthestrangerwearingthegreenhat。But,IwasnaturallydesirousofdiscoveringnextwhatLadyRachelhadsaid;andIaskedtospeakwithCristel。Herfar-seeingfathermightormightnothaveperceivedachanceoflisteningtoourconversation。Heledmetothedoorofhisdaughter’sroom;andstoodcloseby,whenIknockedsoftly,andbeggedthatshewouldcomeout。
Thetoneofthepoorgirl’svoice——answering,"Forgiveme,sir;Ican’tdoit"——convictedtheshe-socialist(asIthought)ofmercilessconductofsomesort。Assumingthisconclusiontobetherightone,Idetermined,thenandthere,thatLadyRachelshouldnotpassthedoorsofTrimleyDeenagain。Ifherbosom-friendresentedthatwiseactofseveritybyleavingthehouse,Ishouldsubmitwithresignation,andshouldrememberthecircumstancewithpleasure。
"Iamafraidyouareill,Cristel?"wasallIcouldfindtosay,underthedoubledisadvantageofspeakingthroughadoor,andhavingafatherlisteningatmyside。
"Ohno,Mr。Gerard,notill。Alittlelowinmymind,that’sall。Idon’tmeantoberude,sir——praybekindertomethanever!prayletmebe!"
IsaidIwouldreturnonthenextday;andlefttheroomwithasoreheart。
OldTollerhighlyapprovedofmyconduct。Herubbedhisfleshlesshands,andwhispered:"You’llgetitoutofCristyto-morrow,andI’llhelpyou。"
IfoundGloodywaitingformeoutsidethecottage。HewasanxiousaboutMissCristel;hisonlyexcuse,hetoldme,beingthefearthatshemightbeill。Havingsethimatease,inthatparticular,Isaid:"YouseemtobeinterestedinMissCristel。"
Hisanswerraisedhimastephigherinmyestimation。
"HowcanIhelpit,sir?"
Anoddman,withapersonalappearancethatmightexciteaprejudiceagainsthim,insomeminds。Ifailedtoseeitmyselfinthatlight。Itstruckme,asIwalkedhome,thatCristelmighthavemademanyaworsefriendthantheretiredprize-fighter。
AchangeinmymannerwasofcourseremarkedbyMrs。Roylake’sreadyobservation。ItoldherthatIhadbeenannoyed,andofferednootherexplanation。Wonderfultorelate,sheshowednocuriosityandnosurprise。Morewonderfulstill,ateveryfairopportunitythatoffered,shekeptoutofmyway。
Mynextday’sengagementbeingforseveno’clockintheevening,IputMrs。Roylake’sself-controltoanewtest。Withprefatoryexcuses,I
informedherthatIshouldnotbeabletodineathomeasusual。
Impossibleasitwasthatshecouldhavebeenpreparedtohearthis,herpresenceofmindwasequaltotheoccasion。Ileftthehouse,followedbymystepmother’sbestwishesforapleasantevening。
HopingtospeakwithCristelalone,Ihadarrangedtoreachthecottagebeforeseveno’clock。
Ontheriver-marginofthewood,Iwasconfrontedbyawildgleamofbeautyinthefamiliarview,forwhichpreviousexperiencehadnotpreparedme。AmIwronginbelievingthatallscenery,nomatterhowmagnificentorhowhomelyitmaybe,derivesasplendornotitsownfromfavouringconditionsoflightandshade?Ourgloomytreesandourrepellentriverpresentedanaspectsuperblytransfigured,undertheshadowsofthetoweringclouds,thefantasticwreathsofthemist,andtheluridreddeningofthesunasitstoopedtoitssetting。Lovelyinterfusionsofsoberedcolorrested,faded,returnedagain,ontheupperleavesofthefoliageastheylightlymoved。Themist,rollingcapriciouslyoverthewaters,revealedthegrandlydeliberatecourseoftheflowingcurrent,whileitdimmedtheturbidearthyyellowthatdiscoloredanddegradedthestreamunderthefullglareofday。Whilemyeyesfollowedthesuccessivetransformationsoftheview,asthehouradvanced,tenderandsolemninfluencesbreathedtheirbalmovermymind。
Days,happydaysthatwerepast,revived。Again,Iwalkedhandinhandwithmymother,amongthescenesthatwereroundme,andlearntfromhertobegratefulforthebeautyoftheearth,withaheartthatfeltit。Weweretracingourwayalongourfavoritewoodlandpath;andwefoundacompanionoftenderyears,hidingfromus。Sheshowedherself;blushing,hesitating,offeringanosegayofwildflowers。Mymotherwhisperedtome——Ithankedthelittlemill-girl,andgaveherakiss。DidIfeelthechild’sbreath,inmyday-dream,stillflutteringonmycheek?WasI
consciousofhertouch?Istarted,trembled,returnedreluctantlytomypresentself。Avisiblehandtouchedmyarm。AsIturnedsuddenly,alivingbreathplayedonmyface。Thechildhadfadedintoavanishingshade:theperfectedwomanwhohadgrownfromherhadstolenonmeunawares,andwasaskingmetopardonher。"Mr。Gerard,youwerelostinyourthoughts;Ispoke,andyouneverheardme。"
Ilookedatherinsilence。
WasthisthedearCristelsowellknowntome?Orwasitamockeryofherthathadtakenherplace?
"IhopeIhavenotoffendedyou?"shesaid。
"Youhavesurprisedme,"Ianswered。"Somethingmusthavehappened,sinceIsawyoulast。Whatisit?"
"Nothing。"
Iadvancedastep,anddrewherclosertome。Adarkflushdiscoloredherface。Anoverpoweringbrilliancyflashedfromhereyes;therewasanhystericaldefianceinhermanner。"Areyouexcited?areyouangry?areyoutryingtostartlemebyactingapart?"Iurgedthosequestionsonher,oneafteranother;andIwasloudlyandconfidentlyanswered。
"IdaresayIamexcited,Mr。Gerard,bythehonorthathasbeendoneme。
Youaregoingtokeepyourengagement,ofcourse?Well,yourfriend,yourfavoritefriend,hasinvitedmetomeetyou。No!that’snotquitetrue。I
invitedmyself——thedeafgentlemansubmitted。"
"Whydidyouinviteyourself?"
"Becauseatea-partyisnotcompletewithoutawoman。"
Hermannerwasasstrangelyalteredasherlooks。Thatshewasbesideherselfforthemoment,Iclearlysaw。Thatshehadansweredmeunreservedly,itwasimpossibletobelieve。Ibegantofeelangry,whenI
oughttohavemadeallowancesforher。
"IsthisLadyRachel’sdoing?"Isaid。
"WhatdoyouknowofLadyRachel,sir?"
"Iknowthatshehasvisitedyou,andspokentoyou。"
"Doyouknowwhatshehassaid?"
"Icanguess。"
"Mr。Gerard,don’tabusethatgoodandkindlady。Shedeservesyourgratitudeaswellasmine。"
Hermannerhadbecomequieter;herfacewasmorecomposed;herexpressionalmostrecovereditsnaturalcharmwhileshespokeofLadyRachel。Iwasstupefied。
"Try,sir,toforgetitandforgiveit,"sheresumedgently,"ifIhavemisbehavedmyself。Idon’trightlyknowwhatIamsayingordoing。"
Ipointedtothenewsideofthecottage,behindus。
"Isthecausethere?"Iasked。
"No!noindeed!Ihavenotseenhim;Ihavenotheardfromhim。Hisservantoftenbringsmemessages。Notonemessageto-day。"
"HaveyouseenGloodyto-day?"
"Oh,yes!There’sonething,ifImaymakesobold,Ishouldliketoknow。Mr。Gloodyisasgoodtomeasgoodcanbe;weseeeachothercontinually,livinginthesameplace。Butyouaredifferent;andhetellsmehimselfhehasonlyseenyoutwice。Whathaveyoudone,Mr。
Gerard,tomakehimlikeyousowell,inthatshorttime?"
Itoldherthathehadbeenfoundinmygarden,lookingattheflowers。
"Ashehaddonenoharm,"Isaid,"Iwouldn’tallowtheservanttoturnhimout;andIwalkedroundtheflower-bedswithhim。Littleenoughtodeservesuchgratitudeasthepoorfellowexpressed——andfelt,Idon’tdoubtit。"
Ihadintendedtosaynomorethanthis。ButtheremembranceofGloody’smysteriousprevarication,andoftheuneasinesswhichIhadundoubtedlyfeltwhenIthoughtofitafterwards,ledme(Icannotpretendtosayhow)intoassociatingCristel’sagitationwithsomethingwhichthismanmighthavesaidtoher。Iwasonthepointofputtingthequestion,whensheheldupherhand,andsaid,"Hush!"
Thewindwasblowingtowardsusfromtheriver-sidevillage,towhichI
havealreadyalluded。IamnotsurewhetherIhavementionedthatthenameoftheplacewasKylam。Itwassituatedbehindapromontoryoftheriver-bank,clothedthicklywithtrees,andwasnotvisiblefromthemill。Inthepresentdirectionofthewind,wecouldhearthestrikingofthechurchclock。Cristelcountedthestrokes。
"Seven,"shesaid。"Areyoudeterminedtokeepyourengagement?"
Shehadrepeated——inanunsteadyvoice,andwithasuddenchangeinhercolortopaleness——thestrangequestionputtomebyGloody。InhiscaseIhadfailedtotracethemotive。Itriedtodiscoveritnow。
"TellmewhyIoughttobreakmyengagement,"Isaid。
"RememberwhatItoldyouatthespring,"sheanswered。"Youaredeceivedbyafalsefriendwholiestoyouandhatesyou。"
Themanshewasspeakingofturnedthecornerofthenewcottage。Hewavedhishandgaily,andapproachedusalongtheroad。
"Go!"shesaid。"Yourguardianangelhasforgottenyou。It’stoolatenow。"
Insteadoflettingmeprecedeher,asIhadanticipated,sheranonbeforeme——madeasigntothedeafman,asshepassedhim,nottostopher——anddisappearedthroughtheopendoorofherfather’ssideofthecottage。
Iwaslefttodecideformyself。WhatshouldIhavedone,ifIhadbeentwentyyearsolder?
Saythatmymoralcouragewouldhaverisensuperiortothepoorestofallfears,thefearofappearingtobeafraid,andthatIshouldhavemademyexcusestomyhostoftheevening——howwouldmymoralcouragehaveansweredhim,ifhehadaskedforanexplanation?Uselesstospeculateonit!HadIpossessedthewisdomofmiddlelife,hisbookofleaveswouldnothavetoldhim,inmyownhandwriting,thatIbelievedinhisbetternature,andacceptedhisfriendlyletterinthespiritinwhichhehadwrittenExplainitwhocan——IknewthatIwasgoingtodrinkteawithhim,andyetIwasunwillingtoadvanceafewsteps,andmeethimontheroad!
"Ifindanewbondofunionbetweenus,"hesaid,ashejoinedme。"Webothfeel_that。_"Hepointedtothegrandlydarkeningview。"Thetwomenwhocouldhavepaintedthemysteryofthosegrowingshadowsandfadinglights,lieinthegravesofRembrandtandTurner。Shallwegototea?"
Onourwaytohisroomwestoppedatthemiller’sdoor。
"Will_you_inquire,"hesaid,"ifMissCristelisready?"
Iwentin。OldTollerwasinthekitchen,smokinghispipewithoutappearingtoenjoyit。
"What’scometomygirl?"heasked,themomenthesawme。"Yesterdayshewasinherroom,crying。To-dayshe’sinherroom,praying。"
ThewarningswhichIhadneglectedroseinjudgmentagainstme。Iwassilent;Iwasawed。BeforeIrecoveredmyself,Cristelenteredthekitchen。Herfatherwhispered,"Lookather!"
Oftheexcitementwhichhaddisturbed——Ihadalmostsaid,profaned——herbeautifulface,notavestigeremained。Pale,composed,resolute,shesaid,"Iamready,"andledthewayout。
Themanwhomshehatedofferedhisarm。Shetookit!
CHAPTERXIII
THECLARETJUG
IperceivedbutonechangeintheLodger’smiserableroom,sinceIhadseenitlast。
Asecondtablewassetagainstoneofthewalls。Ourboilingwaterfortheteawaskeptthere,inasilverkettleheatedbyaspirit-lamp。I
nextobservedadelicatelittlechinavasewhichheldthetea,andafinely-designedglassclaretjug,withasilvercover。Othermen,possessingthatbeautifulobject,wouldhavethoughtitworthyofthepurestBordeauxwinewhichtheartsofmodernadulterationpermitustodrink。Thismanhadfilledtheclaretjugwithwater。
"Allmyvaluableproperty,ostentatiouslyexposedtoview,"hesaid,inhisbitterlyfacetiousmanner。"Mylandlord’spropertymatchesitonthebigtable。"
Thebigtablepresentedacoarseearthenwareteapot;cupsandsaucerswithpieceschippedoutofthem;acrackedmilkjug;atumblerwhichservedasasugarbasin;andanoldvegetabledish,honoredbyholdingdelicateFrenchsweet-meatsforthefirsttimesinceithadlefttheshop。
Mydeaffriend,inboisterouslygoodspirits,pointedbackwardsandforwardsbetweenthepreciousandtheworthlessobjectsonthetwotables,asifhesawaprospectthatdelightedhim。
"Idon’tbelievethemanlives,"hesaid,"whoenjoysContrastasI
do。——Whatdoyouwantnow?"
ThisquestionwasaddressedtoGloody,whohadjustenteredtheroom。Hetouchedtheearthenwareteapot。Hismasteranswered:"Letitalone。"
"Imaketheteaatothertimes,"themanpersisted,lookingatme。
"Whatdoeshesay?Writeitdownforme,Mr。Roylake。Ibegyouwillwriteitdown。"
Therewasangerinhiseyesashemadethatrequest。Itookhisbook,andwrotethewords——harmlesswords,surely?Hereadthem,andturnedsavagelytohisunfortunateservant。
"Inthedayswhenyouwerearuffianintheprize-ring,didtheothermen’sfistsbeatallthebrainsoutofyourhead?DoyouthinkyoucanmaketeathatisfitforMr。Roylaketodrink?"
Hepointedtoanopendoor,communicatingwithanotherbedroom。Gloody’seyesrestedsteadilyonCristel:shefailedtonoticehim,beingoccupiedatthemomentinreplacingthepinofabroochwhichhadslippedoutofherdress。Themanwithdrewintothesecondbedroom,andsoftlyclosedthedoor。
Ourhostrecoveredhisgoodhumor。Hetookawoodenstool,andseatedhimselfbyCristel。
"Borrowedfurniture,"hesaid,"aswellasborrowedtea-things。WhatadebtofobligationIowetoyourexcellentfather。Howquietyouare,deargirl。Doyouregrethavingfollowedtheimpulsewhichmadeyoukindlyoffertodrinkteawithus?"Hesuddenlyturnedtome。"Anotherproof,Mr。Roylake,ofthesisterlyinterestthatshefeelsinyou;shecan’thearofyourcomingtomyroom,withoutwantingtobewithyou。Ah,youpossessthemysteriousattractionswhichfascinatethesex。Oneofthesedays,_some_womanwillloveyouasnevermanwaslovedyet。"HeaddressedhimselfagaintoCristel。"Stilloutofspirits?Idaresayyouaretiredofwaitingforyourtea。No?Youhavehadteaalready?It’sGloody’sfault;heoughttohavetoldmethatseveno’clockwastoolateforyou。Thepoordevildeservedthatyoushouldtakenonoticeofhimwhenhelookedatyoujustnow。Areyouoneofthefewwomenwhodislikeanuglyman?Womeningeneral,Icantellyou,preferuglymen。A
handsomemanmatchesthemontheirownground,andtheydon’tlikethat。
’Wearesofondofouruglyhusbands;theysetusofftosuchadvantage。’
Oh,Idon’treportwhattheysay;Ispeakthelanguageinwhichtheythink。——Mr。Roylake,doesitstrikeyouthattheCurisasadcynic?
By-the-by,doyoucallme’theCur’(asIsuggested)whenyouspeakofmetootherpeople——toMissCristel,forinstance?Mycharmingyoungfriends,youbothlookshocked;youbothshakeyourheads。PerhapsIaminoneofmytoleranthumorsto-day;IseenothingdisgracefulinbeingaCur。Heisadogwhorepresentsdifferentbreeds。Verywell,theEnglishareapeoplewhorepresentdifferentbreeds:Saxons,Normans,Danes。Theconsequence,inonecase,isagreatnation。Theconsequence,intheothercase,isthecleverestmemberofthewholedogfamily——asyoumayfindoutforyourselfifyouwillonlyteachhim。Ha——howIamrunningon。Mygueststrytoslipinawordortwo,andcan’tfindtheiropportunity。Enjoyment,MissCristel。Excitement,Mr。Roylake。Formorethanayearpast,Ihavenotluxuriatedinthepleasuresofsociety。I
feelthesocialglow;Ilovethehumanfamily;Inever,never,neverwassuchagoodmanasIamnow。Letvileslangexpressmyemotions:isn’titjolly?"
CristelandIstoppedhim,atthesamemoment。Weinstinctivelyliftedourhandstoourears。
Inhisdeliriumofhighspirits,hehadburstthroughtheinvariablemonotonyofhisarticulation。Withouttheslightestgradationofsound,hisvoicebrokesuddenlyintoascreech,prolongedinitsowndiscorduntilitbecameperfectlyunendurabletohear。Theeffectthathehadproduceduponuswasnotlostonhim。Hisheadsankonhisbreast;horridshudderingsshookhimwithoutmercy;hesaidtohimselfnottous:
"IhadforgottenIwasdeaf。"
Therewasawholeworldofmiseryinthosesimplewords。Cristelkeptherplace,unmoved。Irose,andputmyhandkindlyonhisshoulder。ItwasthebestwayIcoulddeviseofassuringhimofmysympathy。
Helookedupatme,insilence。
Hisbookofleaveswasonthetable;hedidoncemore,whathehadalreadydoneatthespring。Insteadofusingthebookasusual,hewroteinithimself,andthenhandedittome。
"Letmespareyournervesarepetitionofmydeafdiscord。Sight,smell,touch,taste——Iwouldgivethemalltobeabletohear。Inremindingmeofthatvainaspiration,myinfirmityrevengesitself:mydeafnessisnotaccustomedtobeforgotten。Well!Icanbesilentlyuseful;Icanmakethetea。"
Herose,and,takingtheteapotwithhim,wenttothetablethathadbeenplacedagainstthewall。Inthatposition,hisbackwasturnedtowardsus。
Atthesametime,Ifelthisbookgentlytakenoutofmyhand。Cristelhadbeenreading,whileIread,overmyshoulder。Shewroteonthenextblankleaf:"ShallImakethetea?"
"Now,"shesaidtome,"noticewhathappens。"
Followinghim,shetouchedhisarm,andpresentedherrequest。Heshookhisheadintokenofrefusal。Shecamebacktoherplacebyme。
"Youexpectedthat?"Isaid。
"Yes。"
"Whydidyouaskmetonoticehisrefusal?"
"BecauseImaywanttoremindyouthathewouldn’tletmemakethetea。"
"Mysteries,mydear?"
"Yes:mysteries。"
"Nottobementionedmoreparticularly?"
"Iwillmentiononeofthemmoreparticularly。Aftertheteahasbeenmade,youmaypossiblyfeelmetouchyourkneeunderthetable。"
Iwasfoolenoughtosmileatthis,andwiseenoughafterwardstoseeinherfacethatIhadmadeamistake。
"Whatisyourtouchintendedtomean?"Iasked。
"Itmeans,’Wait,’shesaid。"
Mysenseofhumorwas,bythistime,completelyheldincheck。Thatsomesurprisewasinstoreforme,andthatCristelwasresolvednottotakemeintoherconfidence,wereconclusionsatwhichInaturallyarrived。I
felt,andsurelynotwithoutgoodcause,alittleannoyed。TheLodgercamebacktouswiththeteamade。Asheputtheteapotonthetable,heapologizedtoCristel。
"Don’tthinkmerude,inrefusingyourkindoffer。IfthereisonethingIknowIcandobetterthananybodyelse,thatthingismakingtea。Doyoutakesugarandmilk,Mr。Roylake?"
Imadetheaffirmativesign。Hepouredoutthetea。Whenhehadfilledtwocups,thesupplywasexhausted。CristelandInoticedthis。Hesawit,andatoncegratifiedourcuriosity。
"Itisarule,"hesaid,"withmastersintheartofmakingtea,thatoneinfusionoughtnevertobeusedtwice。Ifwewantanymore,wewillmakemore;andifyoufeelinclinedtojoinus,MissCristel,wewillfillthethirdcup。"
Whatwasthereinthis(Iwondered)tomakeherturnpale?Andwhy,afterwhathehadjustsaid,didIseehereyeswillinglyrestonhim,forthefirsttimeinmyexperience?Entirelyatalosstounderstandher,I
resignedlystirredmytea。Onthepointoftastingitnext,feltherhandonmyknee,underthetable。
BewilderedasIwas,Iobeyedmyinstructions,andwentonstirringmytea。Ourhostsmiled。
"Yoursugartakesalongtimetomelt,"hesaid——anddrankhistea。Asheemptiedthecup,thetouchwastakenoffme。Ifollowedhisexample。
Inspiteofhisboasting,theteawastheworstIevertasted。Ishouldhavethrownitoutofthewindow,iftheyhadofferedussuchnastystuffatTrimleyDeen。WhenIsetdownmycup,heaskedfacetiouslyifIwishedhimtobrewanymore。Mynegativeanswerwasamasterpieceofstrongexpression,inthelanguageofsigns。
InsteadofsendingforGloodytoclearthetable,hemovedawaytheobjectsnearhim,soastoleaveanemptyspaceathisdisposal。
"Ioughtperhapstohavehesitated,beforeIaskedyoutospendtheeveningwithme,"hesaid,speakingwithagentlenessandamiabilityofmanner,stronglyincontrastwithhisbehavioruptothistime。"Itismymisfortune,asyoubothwellknow,tobeacheckonconversation。Idaresayyouhaveaskedyourselves:Howishegoingtoamuseus,aftertea?Ifyouwillallowme,Iproposetoamuseyoubyexhibitingthedexterityofmyfingersandthumbs。BeforeIwasdeaf,Ishouldhavepreferredthepianoforthispurpose。Asitis,aninferioraccomplishmentmustservemyturn。"
Heopenedacupboardinthewall,closebythesecondtable,andreturnedwithapackofcards。
Cristelimitatedtheactionofdealingcardsforagame。"No,"hesaid,"thatisnottheamusementwhichIhaveinview。Allowmetopresentmyselfinanewcharacter。IamnolongertheLodger,andnolongertheCur。Mynewnameismorehonorablestill——IamtheConjurer。"
Heshuffledthepackbypouringitbackwardsandforwardsfromonehandtotheother,inacascadeofcards。Thewonderfuleasewithwhichhediditpreparedmeforsomethingworthseeing。Cristel’sadmirationofhisdexterityexpresseditselfbyaprolongedclappingofhands,andastrangeuneasylaugh。Ashisexcitementsubsided,heragitationbrokeout。Isawtheflushagainonherface,andthefierybrightnessinhereyes。Once,whenhisattentionwasengaged,shestolealookatthedoorbywhichGloodyhadlefttheroom。Didthisindicateanotherofthemysterieswhich,byherownconfession,shehadinpreparationforme?Mylateexperiencehadnotinclinedmefavorablytowardsmysteries。I
devotedmywholeattentiontotheConjurer。
WhetherhechosetheeasiestexamplesofskillinsleightofhandismorethanIknow。IcanonlysaythatIneverwasmorecompletelymystifiedbyanyprofessoroflegerdemainonthepublicplatform。Aftertheperformanceofeachtrick,heaskedleaveto"timehimselfbylookingathiswatch;beinganxioustodiscoverifhehadlosthiscustomaryquicknessofexecutionthroughrecentneglectofthenecessarypractice。
OfCristel’sconduct,whilehewasamusingus,IcanonlysaythatitjustifiedMrs。Roylake’sspitefuldescriptionofherasaboldgirl。Themorecleverlythetrickswereperformed,themoretheyseemedtoannoyandprovokeher。
"Ihatebeingpuzzled!"shesaid,addressingherselfofcoursetome。
"Yes,yes;hisfingersarequickerthanmyeyes——Ihaveheardthatexplanationbefore。Whenhehasdoneoneofhistricks,Iwanttoknowhowhedoesit。Conjurersarepeoplewhoaskriddles,and,whenonecan’tguessthem,refusetosaywhattheansweris。It’sasbadascallingmeafool,tosupposethatIlikebeingdeceived。Ah,"shecried,withashockinginsolenceoflookandmanner,"ifourfriendcouldonlyhearwhatIamsaying!"
Hehadpausedwhileshewasspeaking,observingherattentively。"Yourfacedoesn’tencourageme,"hesaid,withapatienceandcourtesyofmannerwhichitwasimpossiblenottoadmire。"Iamcominggraduallytomygreatesttriumph;andIthinkIcansurpriseandpleaseyou。"
Hetimedhislasttrick,andreturnedtothetableplacedagainstthewall。
"Excusemeforamoment,"heresumed;"Iamsufferingasusual,afterdrinkingtea。Isodelightinitthatthetemptationto-nightwasmorethanIcouldresist。Teadisagreeswithmyweakstomach。Italwaysproducesthirst。"
"Whatnonsensehetalks!"Cristelexclaimed。"Allmerefancy!Heremindsmeoftheoldsongcalled’TheNervousMan。’Doyouknowit,Mr。
Roylake?"
Inspiteofmyeffortstopreventher,sheburstoutwiththefirstverseofastupidcomicsong。Sparedbyhisdeafnessfromthisinflictionofvulgarity,ourhostfilledatumblerfromthewaterintheclaretjug,anddrankit。
Ashesetthetumblerdown,wewerestartledbyanaccidentinthenextroom。Thefloorwassuddenlyshakenbythesoundofaheavyfall。Thefallwasfollowedbyagroanwhichinstantlybroughtmetomyfeet。
Althoughhisinfirmitymadehimunconsciousofthegroan,myfriendfeltthevibrationofthefloor,andsawmestartupfrommychair。HelookedevenmorealarmedthanIwas,judgingbytheghastlychangethatIsawinhiscolor;andhereachedthedoorofthesecondroomassoonasIdid。
ItisneedlesstosaythatIallowedhimtoenterfirst。
Onthepointoffollowinghim,Ifeltmyselfroughlypulledback。WhenI
turnedround,andsawCristel,Ididreallyandtrulybelievethatshewasmad。Thefuriousimpatienceinhereyes,thefrenziedstrengthofhergrasponmyarm,wouldhaveledmostothermentoformthesameconclusion。
"Come!"shecried。"No!notaword。Thereisn’tamomenttolose。"Shedraggedmeacrosstheroomtothetableonwhichtheclaretjugstood。
Shefilledthetumblerfromit,as_he_hadfilledthetumbler。Thematerialofwhichthejughadbeenmadewassosolid(crystal,notglassasIhadsupposed)thatthefillingofthetwotumblersemptiedit。
Cristelheldthewaterouttome,gaspingforbreath,tremblingasifshesawsomefrightfulreptilebeforeherinsteadofmyself。
"Drinkit,"shesaid,"ifyouvalueyourlife!"
Ishouldofcoursehavefounditperfectlyeasytoobeyher,strangeasherlanguagewas,ifIhadbeeninfullpossessionofmyself。Betweendistressandalarm,mymind(Isuppose)hadlostitsbalance。Withorwithoutacause,Ihesitated。
Shecrossedtheroom,andthrewopenthewindowwhichlookedoutontheriver。
"Youshan’tdiealone,"shesaid。"Ifyoudon’tdrinkit,I’llthrowmyselfout!"
Idrankfromthetumblertothelastdrop。
Itwasnotwater。
IthadatastewhichIcancomparetonodrink,andtonomedicine,knowntome。Ithoughtoftheotherstrangetastepeculiartothetea。Atlast,thetremendoustruthforceditselfonmymind。Themaninwhommyboyishgenerosityhadsofaithfullybelievedhadattemptedmylife。
Cristeltookthetumblerfromme。Mypoorangelclaspedherfreearmroundmyneck,andpressedherlips,inanecstasyofjoy,onmycheek。
Thenextinstant,sheseizedtheclaretjug,anddasheditintopiecesonthefloor。"Getthejugfromhiswashhand-stand,"shesaid。WhenIgaveittoher,shepouredsomeofthewateruponthebrokenfragmentsofcrystalscatteredonthefloor。Ihadputthejugbackinitsplace,andwasreturningtoCristel,whenthepoisonershowedhimself,enteringfromtheservant’sroom。
"Don’tbealarmed,"hesaid。"Gloody’snameoughttobeGlutton。Anattackofgiddiness,thoroughlywelldeserved。Ihaverelievedhim。Youremember,Mr。Roylake,thatIwasonceasurgeon——"
Thebrokenclaretjugcaughthiseye。
Wehaveallreadofmenwhowerepetrifiedbyterror。Ofthefewpersonswhohavereallywitnessedthatspectacle,Iamone。Theutterstillnessofhimwasreallyterribletosee。Cristelwroteinhisbookanexcuse,nodoubtpreparedbeforehand:"Thatfallinthenextroomfrightenedme,andIfeltfaint。Iwenttogetsomewaterfromthejugyoudrankoutof,anditslippedfrommyhand。"
Sheplacedthosewordsunderhiseyes——shemightjustaswellhaveshownthemtothedog。Adeadman,erectonhisfeet——sohelookedtooureyes。
Sohestilllooked,whenItookCristel’sarm,andledheroutofthatdreadfulpresence。
"Takemeintotheair!"shewhispered。
Aburstoftearsrelievedher,aftertheunutterablesuspensethatshehadsobravelyendured。Whenshewasinsomedegreecomposedagain,wewalkedgentlyupanddownforaminuteortwointhecoolnightair。
"Don’tspeaktome,"shesaid,aswestoppedbeforeherfather’sdoor。"I
amnotfitforityet;Iknowwhatyoufeel。"Ipressedhertomyheart,andlettheembracespeakforme。Sheyieldedtoit,faintlysighing。
"To-morrow?"Iwhispered。Shebentherhead,andleftme。
Walkinghomethroughthewood,Ibecameaware,littlebylittle,thatmythoughtswerenotunderthecustomarycontrol。Overandoveragain,I
triedtoreviewtheeventsofthatterribleevening,andfailed。
Fragmentsofothermemoriespresentedthemselves——andthendesertedme。
Nonsense,absolutenonsense,founditswayintomymindnext,androseinidioticwordstomylips。Igrewtoolazyeventotalktomyself。I
strayedfromthepath。Themossyearthbegantoriseandsinkundermyfeet,likethewatersinaground-swellatsea。Istoodstill,inastateofidiot-wonder。Thegroundsuddenlyroserightuptomyface。Iremembernomore。
Myfirstconsciousexerciseofmysenses,whenIrevived,cametomebywayofmyears。Leadenweightsseemedtoclosemyeyes,tofettermymovements,tosilencemytongue,toparalyzemytouch。ButIheardawailingvoice,speakingclosetome,soclosethatitmighthavebeenmyownvoice:Idistinguishedthewords;Iknewthetones。
"Oh,mymaster,mylord,whoamIthatIshouldlive——andyoudie!andyoudie!"
Wasitherwarmyoungbreaththatquickenedmewithitsvigorouslife?I
onlyknowthattherevivalofmysenseoftouchdidcertainlyspringfromthecontactofherlips,pressedtomineintherecklessabandonmentofgriefwithouthope。Hercryofjoy,whenmyfirstsightoldherthatI
wasstillalivingcreature,ranthroughmelikeanelectricshock。I
openedmyeyes;Iheldoutmyhand;Itriedtohelpherwhensheraisedmyhead,andsetmeagainstthetreeunderwhichIhadbeenstretchedhelpless。WithaneffortIcouldcallherbyhername。Eventhatexhaustedme。MymindwassoweakthatIshouldhavebelievedher,ifshehaddeclaredherselftobeaspiritseeninadream,keepingwatchovermeinthewood。
WiserthanIwas,shesnatchedupmyhat,ranonbeforeme,andwaslostinthedarkness。
Aninterval,anunendurableinterval,passed。Shereturned,havingfilledmyhatfromthespring。Butfortheexquisitecoolnessofthewaterfallingonmyface,tricklingdownmythroat,Ishouldhavelostmysensesagain。Inafewminutesmore,Icouldtakethatdearhand,andholdittomeasifIwasholdingtomylife。Wecouldonlyseeeachotherobscurely,andinthatverycircumstance(asweconfessedtoeachotherafterwards)wefoundtheneedfulcomposurebeforewecouldspeak。