"Nowdon’tlet’sgetfeverish,"Fattysaid,droppinghisownweapon。"Wearen’tscum。We’regentlemen。Let’sdrinklikegentlemen。"
  "Letitbearealdrinking,"Whiskersapproved。
  "Let’sgetpetrified,"Slimagreed。"Manyadistillery’sflowedunderthebridgesinceweweregentlemen;butlet’sforgetthelongroadwe’vetravelledsince,andhitourdossinthegoodoldfashioninwhicheverygentlemanwenttobedwhenwewereyoung。"
  "Myfatherdoneit-didit,"Fattyconcurredandcorrected,asoldrecollectionsexplodedlong-sealedbrain-cellsofconnotationandcorrectusage。
  Theothertwonoddedadescentfromsimilarfathers,andelevatedtheirtincansofalcohol。
  Bythetimeeachhadfinishedhisownbottleandfromhisragsfishedforthasecondone,theirbrainswerewell-mellowedanda-
  glow,althoughtheyhadnotgotaroundtotellingtheirrealnames。
  ButtheirEnglishhadimproved。Theyspokeitcorrectly,whiletheargooftramp-landceasedfromtheirlips。
  "It’smyconstitution,"Whiskerswasexplaining。"VeryfewmencouldgothroughwhatIhaveandlivetotellthetale。AndI
  nevertookanycareofmyself。Ifwhatthemoralistsandthephysiologistssayweretrue,I’dhavebeendeadlongago。Andit’sthesamewithyoutwo。Lookatus,atouradvancedyears,carousingastheyoungonesdon’tdare,sleepingoutintheopenontheground,nevershelteredfromfrostnorrainnorstorm,neverafraidofpneumoniaorrheumatismthatwouldputhalftheyoungonesontheirbacksinhospital。"
  Hebrokeofftomixanotherdrink,andFattytookupthetale。
  "Andwe’vehadourfun,"heboasted,"andspeakingofsweetheartsandall,"hecribbedfromKipling,"’We’veroguedandwe’veranged-’"
  "’Inourtime,’"Slimcompletedthecribforhim。
  "Ishouldsayso,Ishouldsayso,"Fattyconfirmed。"Andbeenlovedbyprincesses-atleastIhave。"
  "Goonandtellusaboutit,"Whiskersurged。"Thenight’syoung,andwhyshouldn’twerememberbacktotheroofsofkings?"
  Nothingloth,Fattyclearedhisthroatfortherecitalandcastaboutinhismindforthebestwaytobegin。
  "ItmustbeknownthatIcameofgoodfamily。PercivalDelaney,letussay,yes,letussayPercivalDelaney,wasnotunknownatOxfordonceuponatime-notforscholarship,Iamfranktoadmit;
  butthegayyoungdogsofthatday,ifanybeyetalive,wouldrememberhim-"
  "MypeoplecameoverwiththeConqueror,"Whiskersinterrupted,extendinghishandtoFatty’sinacknowledgmentoftheintroduction。
  "Whatname?"Fattyqueried。"Ididnotseemquitetocatchit。"
  "Delarouse,ChaunceyDelarouse。Thenamewillserveaswellasany。"
  BothcompletedthehandshakeandglancedtoSlim。
  "Oh,well,whilewe’reaboutit……"Fattyurged。
  "BruceCadoganCavendish,"Slimgrowledmorosely。"Goon,Percival,withyourprincessesandtheroofsofkings。"
  "Oh,Iwasarareyoungdevil,"Percivalobliged,"afterIplayedducksanddrakesathomeandsportedoutovertheworld。AndIwassomefigureofamanbeforeIlostmyshape-polo,steeple-
  chasing,boxing。IwonmedalsatbuckjumpinginAustralia,andI
  heldmorethanseveralswimmingrecordsfromthequarterofamileup。WomenturnedtheirheadstolookwhenIwentby。Thewomen!
  Godblessthem!"
  AndFatty,aliasPercivalDelaney,agrotesqueofmanhood,puthisbulgyhandtohispuffedlipsandkissedaudiblyintothestarryvaultofthesky。
  "AndthePrincess!"heresumed,withanotherkisstothestars。
  "ShewasasfineafigureofawomanasIwasaman,ashigh-
  spiritedandcourageous,asrecklessanddare-devilish。Lord,Lord,inthewatershewasamermaid,asea-goddess。Andwhenitcametoblood,besideherIwasparvenu。Herroyallinetracedbackintothemistsofantiquity。
  "Shewasnotadaughterofafair-skinnedfolk。Tawnygoldenwasshe,withgolden-browneyes,andherhairthatfelltoherkneeswasblue-blackandstraight,withjustthecurlytendrillytendencythatgivestowoman’shairitscharm。Oh,therewerenokinksinit,anymorethanweretherekinksinthehairofherentiregenealogy。ForshewasPolynesian,glowing,golden,lovelyandlovable,royalPolynesian。"
  Againhepausedtokisshishandtothememoryofher,andSlim,aliasBruceCadoganCavendish,tookadvantagetointerject:
  "Huh!Maybeyoudidn’tshineinscholarship,butatleastyougleanedavocabularyoutofOxford。"
  "AndintheSouthSeasgarneredabettervocabularyfromthelexiconofLove,"Percivalwasquickontheuptake。
  "ItwastheislandofTalofa,"hewenton,"meaninglove,theIsleofLove,anditwasherisland。Herfather,theking,anoldman,satonhismatswithparalysedkneesanddranksquarefaceginalldayandmostofthenight,outofgrief,sheergrief。She,myprincess,wastheonlyissue,herbrotherhavingbeenlostintheirdoublecanoeinahurricanewhilecomingupfromavoyagetoSamoa。
  AndamongthePolynesianstheroyalwomenhaveequalrightwiththementorule。Infact,theytracetheirgenealogiesalwaysbythefemaleline。"
  TothisbothChaunceyDelarouseandBruceCadoganCavendishnoddedpromptaffirmation。
  "Ah,"saidPercival,"IperceiveyoubothknowtheSouthSeas,wherefore,withoutundueexpenditureofverbiageonmypart,Iamassuredthatyouwillappreciatethecharmofmyprincess,thePrincessTui-nuiofTalofa,thePrincessoftheIsleofLove。"
  Hekissedhishandtoher,sippedfromhiscondensedmilkcanaman-sizedrinkofdruggist’salcohol,andtoheragainkissedherhand。
  "Butshewascoy,andeversheflutteredneartomebutnevernearenough。Whenmyarmwentouttohertogirdleher,presto,shewasnotthere。Iknew,asneverbefore,norsince,thethousanddearanddelightfulanguishesoflovefrustratedbuteverresilientandbeckonedonbytheverygoddessoflove。"
  "Somevocabulary,"BruceCadoganCavendishmutteredinasidetoChaunceyDelarouse。ButPercivalDelaneywasnottobedeterred。
  Hekissedhispudgyhandaloftintothenightandheldwarmlyon。
  "NofondagoniesofrapturedeferredthatwerenotlavisheduponmebymydearPrincess,herselfeveraluringdelightofpromiseflittingjustbeyondmyreach。Everysweetlover’sinfernounguessedofbyDantesheledmethrough。Ah!Thoseswooningtropicnights,underourpalmtrees,thedistantsurfalangourousmurmurasfromsomevastseashellofmystery,whenshe,myPrincess,allbutmeltedtomyyearning,andwithherlaughter,thatwasassilverstringsbybudsandblossomssmitten,allbutmadelunacyofmylover’sardency。
  "ItwasbymywrestlingwiththechampionsofTalofathatIfirstinterestedher。ItwasbymyprowessatswimmingthatIawokeher。
  AnditwasbyacertainswimmingdeedthatIwonfromhermorethancoquettishsmilesandshytimiditiesoffeignedretreat。
  "Weweresquiddingthatday,outonthereef-youknowhow,undoubtedly,divingdownthefaceofthewallofthereef,fivefathoms,tenfathoms,anydepthwithinreason,andshovingoursquid-sticksintothelikelyholesandcranniesofthecoralwheresquidmightbelairing。Withthesquid-stick,bluntlysharpatbothends,perhapsafootlong,andheldcrosswiseinthehand,thetrickwastogougeanylazyingsquiduntilheclosedhistentaclesaroundfist,stickandarm-Thenyouhadhim,andcametothesurfacewithhim,andhithimintheheadwhichisinthecentreofhim,andpeeledhimoffintothewaitingcanoe……AndtothinkIusedtodothat!"
  PercivalDelaneypausedamoment,aglimmerofaweonhisrotundface,ashecontemplatedthemightypictureofhisyouth。
  "Why,I’vepulledoutasquidwithtentacleseightfeetlong,anddoneitunderfiftyfeetofwater。Icouldstaydownfourminutes。
  I’vegonedown,withacoral-rocktosinkme,inahundredandtenfeettoclearafouledanchor。AndIcouldback-divewithaonce-
  overandgoinfeet-firstfromeightyfeetabovethesurface-"
  "Quitit,deleteit,ceaseit,"ChaunceyDelarouseadmonishedtestily。"TellofthePrincess。That’swhatmakesoldbloodleapagain。AlmostcanIseeher。Wasshewonderful?"
  PercivalDelaneykissedunutterableaffirmation。
  "Ihavesaidshewasamermaid。Shewas。Iknowsheswamthirty-
  sixhoursbeforebeingrescued,afterherschoonerwascapsizedinadouble-squall。Ihaveseenherdoninetyfeetandbringuppearlshellineachhand。Shewaswonderful。Asawomanshewasravishing,sublime。Ihavesaidshewasasea-goddess。Shewas。
  Oh,foraPhidiasoraPraxitelestohavemadethewonderofherbodyimmortal!
  "Andthatday,outforsquidonthereef,Iwasalmostsickforher。Mad-IknowIwasmadforher。Wewouldstepoverthesidefromthebigcanoe,andswimdown,sidebyside,intothedeliciousdepthsofcoolandcolour,andshewouldlookatme,asweswam,andwithhereyestantalizemetofurthermadness。Andatlast,down,fardown,Ilostmyselfandreachedforher。Sheeludedmelikethemermaidshewas,andIsawthelaughteronherfaceasshefled。Shefleddeeper,andIknewIhadherforIwasbetweenherandthesurface;butinthemuckcoralsandofthebottomshemadeachurningwithhersquidstick。Itwastheoldtricktoescapeashark。Andsheworkeditonme,rollingthewatersothatIcouldnotseeher。AndwhenIcameup,shewasthereaheadofme,clingingtothesideofthecanoeandlaughing。
  "AlmostIwouldnotbedenied。Butnotfornothingwassheaprincess。Sherestedherhandonmyarmandcompelledmetolisten。Weshouldplayagame,shesaid,enterintoacompetitionforwhichshouldgetthemoresquid,thebiggestsquid,andthesmallestsquid。Sincethewagerswerekisses,youcanwellimagineIwentdownonthefirstnextdivewithsoulaflame。
  "Igotnosquid。NeveragaininallmylifehaveIdivedforsquid。Perhapswewerefivefathomsdownandexploringthefaceofthereefwallforlurkingplacesofourprey,whenithappened。I
  hadfoundalikelylairandjustproveditempty,whenIfeltorsensedthenearnessofsomethinginimical。Iturned。Thereitwas,alongsideofme,andnomerefish-shark。Fullyadozenfeetinlength,withtheunmistakablephosphorescentcat’seyegleaminglikeadrowningstar,Iknewitforwhatitwas,atigershark。
  "Nottenfeettotheright,probingacoralfissurewithhersquidstick,wasthePrincess,andthetigersharkwasheadingdirectlyforher。Mytotalityofthoughtwasprecipitatedtoconsciousnessinasingleall-embracingflash。Theman-eatermustbedeflectedfromher,andwhatwasI,exceptamadloverwhowouldgladlyfightanddie,ormoregladlyfightandlive,forhisbeloved?Remember,shewasthewomanwonderful,andIwasaflameforher。
  "Knowingfullytheperilofmyact,Ithrusttheblunt-sharpendofmysquid-stickintothesideoftheshark,muchasonewouldattractapassingacquaintancewithathumb-nudgeintheribs。Andtheman-eaterturnedonme。YouknowtheSouthSeas,andyouknowthatthetigershark,likethebald-facegrizzlyofAlaska,nevergivestrail。Thecombat,fathomsdeepunderthesea,wason-ifbycombatmaybenamedsuchaone-sidedstruggle。
  "ThePrincessunaware,caughthersquidandrosetothesurface。
  Theman-eaterrushedme。Ifendedhimoffwithbothhandsonhisnoseabovehisthousand-toothedopenmouth,sothathebackedmeagainstthesharpcoral。Thescarsaretheretothisday。
  WheneverItriedtorise,herushedme,andIcouldnotremaindownthereindefinitelywithoutair。Wheneverherushedme,Ifendedhimoffwithmyhandsonhisnose。AndIwouldhaveescapedunharmed,exceptfortheslipofmyrighthand。Intohismouthitwenttotheelbow。Hisjawsclosed,justbelowtheelbow。Youknowhowashark’steethare。Onceintheycannotbereleased。
  Theymustgothroughtocompletethebite,buttheycannotgothroughheavybone。So,fromjustbelowtheelbowhestrippedthebonecleantothearticulationofthewrist-joint,wherehisteethmetandmygoodrighthandbecamehisforanappetizer。
  "Butwhilehewasdoingthis,Idrovethethumbofmylefthand,tothehiltintohiseye-orificeandpoppedouthiseye。Thisdidnotstophim。Themeathadmaddenedhim。Hepursuedthegushingstumpofmywrist。HalfadozentimesIfendedwithmyintactarm。Thenhegotthepoormangledarmagain,closeddown,andstrippedthemeatoffthebonefromtheshoulderdowntotheelbow-joint,wherehisteethmetandhewasfreeofhissecondmouthfulofme。But,atthesametime,withmygoodarm,Ithumbedouthisremainingeye。"
  PercivalDelaneyshruggedhisshoulders,ereheresumed。
  "Fromabove,thoseinthecanoehadbeheldtheentirehappeningandwereloudinpraiseofmydeed。Tothisdaytheystillsingthesongofme,andtellthetaleofme。AndthePrincess。"Hispausewasbriefbutsignificant。"ThePrincessmarriedme……Oh,well-a-dayandlack-a-day,thewhirligigoftimeandfortune,thetopsyturvinessofluck,thewoodenshoegoingupandthepolishedheeldescendingaFrenchgunboat,aconqueredislandkingdomofOceania,to-dayruledoverbyapeasant-born,unlettered,colonialgendarme,and……"
  Hecompletedthesentenceandthetalebyburyinghisfaceinthedown-tiltedmouthofthecondensedmilkcanandbygurglingthecorrosivedrinkdownhisthroatinthirstygulps。
  Afteranappropriatepause,ChaunceyDelarouse,otherwiseWhiskers,tookupthetale。
  "FarbeitfrommetoboastofnomatterwhatplaceofbirthIhavedescendedfromtositherebythisfirewithsuchas……aschancealong。Imaysay,however,thatI,too,wasonceaconsiderablefigureofaman。Imayaddthatitwashorses,plusparentstooindulgent,thatexiledmeoutovertheworld。Imaystillwondertoquery:’AreDover’scliffsstillwhite?’"
  "Huh!"BruceCadoganCavendishsneered。"Nextyou’llbeasking:
  ’HowfarestheoldLordWarden?’"
  "AndItookeveryliberty,andvainly,withaconstitutionthatwasiron,"Whiskershurriedon。"HereIamwithmythreescoreandtenbehindme,andbackonthatlongroadhaveIburiedmanyayoungsterthatwasasrareanddevilishasI,butwhocouldnotstandthepace。Iknewtheworsttooyoung。AndnowIknowtheworsttooold。Buttherewasatime,alasalltooshort,whenI
  knew,thebest。
  "I,too,kissmyhandtothePrincessofmyheart。Shewastrulyaprincess,Polynesian,athousandmilesandmoreawaytotheeastwardandthesouthfromDelaney’sIsleofLove。ThenativesofallaroundthatpartoftheSouthSeascalledittheJollyIsland。
  Theirownname,thenameofthepeoplewhodweltthereon,translatesdelicatelyandjustlyinto’TheIslandofTranquilLaughter。’OnthechartyouwillfindtheerroneousnamegiventoitbytheoldnavigatorstobeManatomana。TheseafaringgentrytheroundoceanaroundcalledittheAdamlessEden。AndthemissionariesforatimecalleditGod’sWitness-sogreathadbeentheirsuccessatconvertingtheinhabitants。Asforme,itwas,andevershallbe,Paradise。
  "ItwasMYParadise,foritwastheremyPrincesslived。JohnAsibeliTungiwasking。Hewasfull-bloodednative,descendedoutoftheoldestandhighestchief-stockthattracedbacktoManuawhichwastheprimevalseahomeoftherace。AlsowasheknownasJohntheApostate。Helivedalonglifeandapostasizedfrequently。FirstconvertedbytheCatholics,hethrewdowntheidols,brokethetabus,cleanedoutthenativepriests,executedafewoftherecalcitrantones,andsentallhissubjectstochurch。
  "Nexthefellforthetraders,whodevelopedinhimachampagnethirst,andheshippedofftheCatholicprieststoNewZealand。
  Thegreatmajorityofhissubjectsalwaysfollowedhislead,and,havingnoreligionatall,ensuedthetimeoftheGreatLicentiousness,whenbyallSouthSeasmissionarieshisisland,insermons,wasspokenofasBabylon。
  "Butthetradersruinedhisdigestionwithtoomuchchampagne,andafterseveralyearshefellfortheGospelaccordingtotheMethodists,senthispeopletochurch,andcleanedupthebeachandthetradingcrowdsospickandspanthathewouldnotpermitthemtosmokeapipeoutofdoorsonSunday,and,finedoneofthechieftradersonehundredgoldsovereignsforwashinghisschooner’sdecksontheSabbathmorn。
  "ThatwasthetimeoftheBlueLaws,butperhapsitwastoorigorousforKingJohn。OffhepackedtheMethodists,onefineday,exiledseveralhundredofhispeopletoSamoaforstickingtoMethodism,and,ofallthings,inventedareligionofhisown,withhimselfthefigure-headofworship。InthishewasaidedandabettedbyarenegadeFijian。Thislastedfiveyears。MaybehegrewtiredofbeingGod,ormaybeitwasbecausetheFijiandecampedwiththesixthousandpoundsintheroyaltreasury;butatanyratetheSecondReformedWesleyansgothim,andhisentirekingdomwentWesleyan。ThepioneerWesleyanmissionaryheactuallymadeprimeminister,andwhathedidtothetradingcrowdwasacaution。Why,intheend,KingJohn’skingdomwasblacklistedandboycottedbythetraderstilltherevenuesdiminishedtozero,thepeoplewentbankrupt,andKingJohncouldn’tborrowashillingfromhismostpowerfulchief。
  "Bythistimehewasgettingold,andphilosophic,andtolerant,andspirituallyatavistic。HefiredouttheSecondReformedWesleyans,calledbacktheexilesfromSamoa,invitedinthetraders,heldagenerallove-feast,tookthelidoff,proclaimedreligiouslibertyandhightariff,andasforhimselfwentbacktotheworshipofhisancestors,duguptheidols,reinstatedafewoctogenarianpriests,andobservedthetabus。Allofwhichwaslovelyforthetraders,andprosperityreigned。Ofcourse,mostofhissubjectsfollowedhimbackintoheathenworship。YetquiteasprinklingofCatholics,MethodistsandWesleyansremainedtruetotheirbeliefsandmanagedtomaintainafewsqualid,one-horsechurches。ButKingJohndidn’tmind,anymorethandidhethehightimesofthetradersalongthebeach。Everythingwent,solongasthetaxeswerepaid。Evenwhenhiswife,QueenMamare,electedtobecomeaBaptist,andinvitedinalittle,weazened,sweet-
  spirited,club-footedBaptistmissionary,KingJohndidnotobject。
  Allheinsistedonwasthatthesewanderingreligionsshouldbeself-supportingandnotfeedapennyworth’soutoftheroyalcoffers。
  "Andnowthethreadsofmyrecitaldrawtogetherintheparagonoffemaleexquisiteness-myPrincess。"
  Whiskerspaused,placedcarefullyonthegroundhishalf-fullcondensedmilkcanwithwhichhehadbeenabsentlytoying,andkissedthefingersofhisonehandaudiblyaloft。
  "ShewasthedaughterofQueenMamare。Shewasthewomanwonderful。UnliketheDianatypeofPolynesian,shewasalmostethereal。SheWASethereal,sublimatedbypurity,asshyandmodestasaviolet,asfragile-slenderasalily,andhereyes,luminousandshrinkingtender,wereasasphodelsontheswardofheaven。Shewasallflower,andfire,anddew。Herswasthesweetnessofthemountainrose,thegentlenessofthedove。Andshewasallofgoodaswellasallofbeauty,devoutinherbeliefinhermother’sworship,whichwastheworshipintroducedbyEbenezerNaismith,theBaptistmissionary。Butmakenomistake。
  ShewasnomeresweetspiritripeforthebosomofAbraham。Allofexquisitedeliciousnessofwomanwasshe。Shewaswoman,allwoman,tothelastsensitivequiveringatomofher-
  "AndI?Iwasawastrelofthebeach。ThewildestwasnotsowildasI,thekeenestnotsokeen,ofallthatwild,keentradingcrowd。ItwasesteemedIplayedthestiffesthandofpoker。Iwastheonlylivingman,white,brown,orblack,whodaredruntheKuni-kuniPassageinthedark。AndonablacknightIhavedoneitunderreefsinagaleofwind。Well,anyway,Ihadabadreputationonabeachwheretherewerenogoodreputations。Iwasreckless,dangerous,stoppedatnothinginfightorfrolic;andthetradingcaptainsusedtobringboiler-sheetedprodigiesfromthevilestholesoftheSouthPacifictotryanddrinkmeunderthetable。Irememberone,acalcinedScotchmanfromtheNewHebrides。
  Itwasagreatdrinking。Hediedofit,andweladedhimaboardship,pickledinacaskoftraderum,andsenthimbacktohisownplace。Asample,afairsample,oftheantictrickswecutuponthebeachofManatomana。
  "Andofallunthinkablethings,whatdidIupanddo,oneday,butlookuponthePrincesstofindhergoodandtofallinlovewithher。Itwastherealthing。IwasasmadasaMarchhare,andafterthatIgotonlymadder。Ireformed。Thinkofthat!Thinkofwhataslipofawomancandotoabusy,rovingman!-BytheLordHarry,it’strue。Ireformed。Iwenttochurch。Hearme!I
  becameconverted。IclearedmysoulbeforeGodandkeptmyhands-
  Ihadtwothen-offtheribaldcrewofthebeachwhenitlaughedatthis,mylatestantic,andwantedtoknowwhatwasmygame。
  "ItellyouIreformed,andgavemyselfinpassionandsinceritytoareligiousexperiencethathasmademetolerantofallreligioneversince。Idischargedmybestcaptainforimmorality。SodidI
  mycook,andabetterneverboiledwaterinManatomana。ForthesamereasonIdischargedmychiefclerk。AndforthefirsttimeinthehistoryoftradingmyschoonerstothewestwardcarriedBiblesintheirstock。Ibuiltalittleanchoritebungalowuptownonamango-linedstreetsquarelyalongsidethelittlehouseoccupiedbyEbenezerNaismith。AndImadehimmypalandcomrade,andfoundhimaveritablehoneypotofsweetnessesandgoodnesses。Andhewasaman,throughandthroughaman。Andhediedlongafterlikeaman,whichIwouldliketotellyouabout,werethetaleofitnotsodeservedlylong。
  "ItwasthePrincess,morethanthemissionary,whowasresponsibleformyexpressingmyfaithinworks,andespeciallyinthatcrowningwork,theNewChurch,OurChurch,theQueen-mother’schurch。
  "’Ourpoorchurch,’shesaidtome,onenightafterprayer-meeting。
  Ihadbeenconvertedonlyafortnight。’Itissosmallitscongregationcannevergrow。Andtheroofleaks。AndKingJohn,myhard-heartedfather,willnotcontributeapenny。Yethehasabigbalanceinthetreasury。AndManatomanaisnotpoor。Muchmoneyismadeandsquandered,Iknow。Ihearthegossipofthewildwaysofthebeach。Lessthanamonthagoyoulostmoreinonenight,gamblingatcards,thanthecostoftheupkeepofourpoorchurchforayear。’
  "AndItoldheritwastrue,butthatitwasbeforeIhadseenthelight。(I’dhadaninfernalrunofbadluck。)ItoldherIhadnottastedliquorsince,norturnedacard。Itoldherthattheroofwouldberepairedatonce,byChristiancarpentersselectedbyherfromthecongregation。ButshewasfilledwiththethoughtofagreatrevivalthatEbenezerNaismithcouldpreach-shewasadearsaint-andshespokeofagreatchurch,saying:
  "’Youarerich。Youhavemanyschooners,andtradersinfarislands,andIhaveheardofagreatcontractyouhavesignedtorecruitlabourfortheGermanplantationsofUpolu。Theysay,nexttoSweitzer,youaretherichesttraderhere。IshouldlovetoseesomeuseofallthismoneyplacedtothegloryofGod。Itwouldbeanoblethingtodo,andIshouldbeproudtoknowthemanwhowoulddoit。’
  "ItoldherthatEbenezerNaismithwouldpreachtherevival,andthatIwouldbuildachurchgreatenoughinwhichtohouseit。
  "’AsbigastheCatholicchurch?’sheasked。
  "Thiswastheruinedcathedral,builtatthetimewhentheentirepopulationwasconverted,anditwasalargeorder;butIwasafirewithlove,andItoldherthatthechurchIwouldbuildwouldbeevenbigger。
  "’Butitwilltakemoney,’Iexplained。’Andittakestimetomakemoney。’
  "’Youhavemuch,’shesaid。’Somesayyouhavemoremoneythanmyfather,theKing。
  "’Ihavemorecredit,’Iexplained。’Butyoudonotunderstandmoney。Ittakesmoneytohavecredit。So,withthemoneyIhave,andthecreditIhave,Iwillworktomakemoremoneyandcredit,andthechurchshallbebuilt。’
  "Work!Iwasasurprisetomyself。Itisanamazement,theamountoftimeamanfindsonhishandsafterhe’sgivenupcarousing,andgambling,andallthetime-eatingdiversionsofthebeach。AndI
  didn’twasteasecondofallmynew-foundtime。InsteadIworkeditovertime。Ididtheworkofhalfadozenmen。Ibecameadriver。Mycaptainsmadefasterrunsthaneverandearnedbiggerbonuses,asdidmysupercargoes,whosawtoitthatmyschoonersdidnotloafanddawdlealongtheway。AndIsawtoitthatmysupercargoesdidseetoit。
  "Andgood!BytheLordHarryIwassogoodithurt。Myconsciencegotsoexpansiveandfine-strungitlamedmeacrosstheshoulderstocarryitaroundwithme。Why,IevenwentbackovermyaccountsandpaidSweitzerfiftyquidI’djiggeredhimoutofinadealinFijithreeyearsbefore。AndIcompoundedtheinterestaswell。
  "Work!Iplantedsugarcane-thefirstcommercialplantingonManatomana。Iranincargoesofkinky-headsfromMalaita,whichisintheSolomons,tillIhadtwelvehundredoftheblackbirdsputtingincane。AndIsentaschoonercleartoHawaiitobringbackadismantledsugarmillandaGermanwhosaidheknewthefield-endofcane。Andhedid,andhechargedmethreehundreddollarsscrewamonth,andItookholdofthemill-end。I
  installedthemillmyself,withthehelpofseveralmechanicsI
  broughtupfromQueensland。
  "Ofcoursetherewasarival。HisnamewasMotomoe。HewastheveryhighestchiefbloodnexttoKingJohn’s。Hewasfullnative,astrapping,handsomeman,withagloweringwayofshowinghisdislikes。HecertainlygloweredatmewhenIbeganhangingaroundthepalace。Hewentbackinmyhistoryandcirculatedtheblackesttalesaboutme。Theworstofitwasthatmostofthemweretrue。
  HeevenmadeavoyagetoApiatofindthingsout-asifhecouldn’tfindaplentyrightthereonthebeachofManatomana!Andhesneeredatmyfailingforreligion,andatmygoingtoprayer-
  meeting,and,mostofall,atmysugar-planting。Hechallengedmetofight,andIkeptoffofhim。Hethreatenedme,andIlearnedinthenickoftimeofhisplantohavemeknockedonthehead。
  Yousee,hewantedthePrincessjustasmuchasIdid,andIwantedhermore。
  "Sheusedtoplaythepiano。SodidI,once。ButIneverletherknowafterI’dheardherplaythefirsttime。Andshethoughtherplayingwaswonderful,thedear,fondgirl!Youknowthesort,themechanicalone-two-threetum-tum-tumschool-girlstuff。AndnowI’lltellyousomethingfunnier。HerplayingWASwonderfultome。
  Thegatesofheavenopenedtomewhensheplayed。Icanseemyselfnow,wornoutanddog-tiredafterthelongday,lyingonthematsofthepalaceverandaandgazinguponheratthepiano,myselfinaperfectidiocyofbliss。Why,thisideashehadofherfineplayingwastheoneflawinherdeliciousnessofperfection,andI
  lovedherforit。Itkindofbroughtherwithinmyhumanreach。
  Why,whensheplayedherone-two-three,tum-tum-tum,Iwasintheseventhheavenofbliss。Mywearinessfellfromme。Ilovedher,andmyloveforherwascleanasflame,cleanasmyloveforGod。
  Anddoyouknow,intomyfondlover’sfancycontinuallyintrudedthethoughtthatGodinmostwaysmustlooklikeher。
  "-That’sright,BruceCadoganCavendish,sneerasyoulike。ButItellyouthat’slovethatI’vebeendescribing。That’sall。
  It’slove。It’stherealest,purest,finestthingthatcanhappentoaman。AndIknowwhatI’mtalkingabout。Ithappenedtome。"
  Whiskers,hisbeadysquirrel’seyeglitteringfromouthisruinedeyebrowlikealivecoalinajungleambush,brokeofflongenoughtodownasedativedraughtfromhiscondensedmilkcanandtomixanother。
  "Thecane,"heresumed,wipinghisprodigiousmatoffacehairwiththebackofhishand。"Itmaturedinsixteenmonthsinthatclimate,andIwasready,justreadyandnomore,withthemillforthegrinding。Naturally,itdidnotallmatureatonce,butIhadplantedinsuchsuccessionthatIcouldgrindforninemonthssteadily,whilemorewasbeingplantedandtheratoonswerespringingup。
  "Ihadmytroublesthefirstseveraldays。Ifitwasn’tonethingthematterwiththemill,itwasanother。Onthefourthday,Ferguson,myengineer,hadtoshutdownseveralhoursinordertoremedyhisowntroubles。Iwasbotheredbythefeeder。Afterhavingtheniggers(whohadbeenfeedingthecane)pourcreamoflimeontherollerstokeepeverythingsweet,Isentthemouttojointhecane-cuttingsquads。SoIwasallaloneatthatend,justasFergusonstartedupthemill,justasIdiscoveredwhatwasthematterwiththefeed-rollers,andjustasMotomoestrolledup。
  "Hestoodthere,inNorfolkjacket,pigskinputtees,andalltherestofthefashionableget-upoutofabandbox,sneeringatmecoveredwithfilthandgreasetotheeyebrowsandlookinglikeanavvy。And,therollersnowwhitefromthelime,I’djustseenwhatwaswrong。Therollerswerenotinplumb。Onesidecrushedthecanewell,buttheothersidewastooopen。Ishovedmyfingersinonthatside。Thebig,toothedcogsontherollersdidnottouchmyfingers。Andyet,suddenly,theydid。Withthegripoftenthousanddevils,myfinger-tipswerecaught,drawnin,andpulpedto-well,justpulp。And,likeaslickofcane,Ihadstartedonmyway。Therewasnostoppingme。Tenthousandhorsescouldnothavepulledmeback。Therewasnothingtostopme。
  Hand,arm,shoulder,head,andchest,downtothetoesofme,Iwasdoomedtofeedthrough。
  "Itdidhurt。Ithurtsomuchitdidnothurtmeatall。Quitedetached,almostmayIsay,Ilookedonmyhandbeinggroundup,knucklebyknuckle,jointbyjoint,thebackofthehand,thewrist,theforearm,allinorderslowlyandinevitablyfeedingin。
  Oengineerhoistbythineownpetard!Osugar-makercrushedbythineowncane-crusher!
  "Motomoesprangforwardinvoluntarily,andthesneerwaschasedfromhisfacebyanexpressionofsolicitude。Thenthebeautyofthesituationdawnedonhim,andhechuckledandgrinned。No,I
  didn’texpectanythingofhim。Hadn’thetriedtoknockmeonthehead?Whatcouldhedoanyway?Hedidn’tknowanythingaboutengines。
  "IyelledatthetopofmylungstoFergusontoshutofftheengine,buttheroarofthemachinerydrownedmyvoice。AndthereIstood,uptotheelbowandfeedingrightonin。Yes,itdidhurt。Thereweresomeastonishingtwingeswhenspecialnerveswereshreddedanddraggedoutbytheroots。ButIrememberthatIwassurprisedatthetimethatitdidnothurtworse。
  "Motomoemadeamovementthatattractedmyattention。Atthesametimehegrowledoutloud,asifhehatedhimself,’I’mafool。’
  Whathehaddonewastopickupacane-knife-youknowthekind,asbigasamacheteandasheavy。AndIwasgratefultohiminadvanceforputtingmeoutofmymisery。Therewasn’tanysenseinslowlyfeedingintillmyheadwascrushed,andalreadymyarmwaspulpedhalfwayfromelbowtoshoulder,andthepulpingwasgoingrighton。SoIwasgrateful,asIbentmyheadtotheblow。
  "’Getyourheadoutoftheway,youidiot!’hebarkedatme。
  "AndthenIunderstoodandobeyed。Iwasabigman,andhetooktwohackstodoit;buthehackedmyarmoffjustoutsidetheshoulderanddraggedmebackandlaidmedownonthecane。
  "Yes,thesugarpaid-enormously;andIbuiltforthePrincessthechurchofhersaintlydream,and……shemarriedme。"
  Hepartlyassuagedhisthirst,andutteredhisfinalword。
  "Alackaday!Shuttlecockandbattle-dore。Andthisat,theendofitall,linedwithboilerplatethatevenalcoholwillnotcorrodeandthatonlyalcoholwilltickle。YethaveIlived,andIkissmyhandtothedeardustofmyPrincesslongasleepinthegreatmausoleumofKingJohnthatlooksacrosstheValeofManonatothealienflagthatfloatsoverthebungalowoftheBritishGovernmentHouse……"
  Fattypledgedhimsympathetically,andsympatheticallydrankoutofhisownsmallcan。BruceCadoganCavendishglaredintothefirewithimplacablebitterness。Hewasamanwhopreferredtodrinkbyhimself。AcrossthethinlipsthatcomposedthecruelslashofhismouthplayedtwitchesofmockerythatcaughtFatty’seye。AndFatty,makingsurefirstthathisrock-chunkwaswithinreach,challenged。
  "Well,howaboutyourself,BruceCadoganCavendish?It’syourturn。"
  TheotherliftedbleakeyesthatboredintoFatty’suntilhephysicallybetrayeduncomfortableness。
  "I’velivedahardlife,"Slimgratedharshly。"WhatdoIknowaboutlovepassages?"
  "Nomanofyourbuildandmake-upcouldhaveescapedthem,"Fattywheedled。
  "Andwhatofit?"Slimsnarled。"It’snoreasonforagentlemantoboastofamoroustriumphs。"
  "Oh,goon,beagoodfellow,"Fattyurged。"Thenight’sstillyoung。We’vestillsomedrinkleft。DelarouseandIhavecontributedourshare。Itisn’toftenthatthreerealoneslikeusgettogetherforatelling。Surelyyou’vegotatleastoneadventureinloveyouaren’tashamedtotellabout-"
  BruceCadoganCavendishpulledforthhisironquoitandseemedtodebatewhetherornotheshouldbraintheother。Hesighed,andputbackthequoit。
  "Verywell,ifyouwillhaveit,"hesurrenderedwithmanifestreluctance。"Likeyoutwo,Ihavehadaremarkableconstitution。
  Andrightnow,speakingofarmour-platelining,Icoulddrinkthebothofyoudownwhenyouwereatyourprime。Likeyoutwo,mybeginningswerefardistantanddifferent。ThatIammarkedwiththehall-markofgentlehoodthereisnodiscussion……unlesseitherofyoucaretodiscussthematternow……"
  Hisonehandslippedintohispocketandclutchedthequoit。
  Neitherofhisauditorsspokenorbetrayedanyawarenessofhismenace。
  "ItoccurredathousandmilestothewestwardofManatomana,ontheislandofTagalag,"hecontinuedabruptly,withanairofsaturninedisappointmentinthattherehadbeennodiscussion。"ButfirstI
  musttellyouofhowIgottoTagalag。ForreasonsIshallnotmention,bypathsofdescentIshallnotdescribe,inthecrownofmymanhoodandtheprimeofmydevilishnessinwhichOxfordrenegadesandracingyoungersonshadnothingonme,Ifoundmyselfmasterandownerofaschoonersowellknownthatsheshallremainhistoricallynameless。IwasrunningblackbirdlabourfromthewestSouthPacificandtheCoralSeatotheplantationsofHawaiiandthenitrateminesofChili-"
  "Itwasyouwhocleanedouttheentirepopulationof-"Fattyexploded,erehecouldcheckhisspeech。
  TheonehandofBruceCadoganCavendishflashedpocketwardandflashedbackwiththequoitbalancedripeforbusiness。
  "Proceed,"Fattysighed。"I……IhavequiteforgottenwhatI
  wasgoingtosay。"
  "Beastlyfunnycountryoverthatway,"thenarratordrawledwithperfectcasualness。"You’vereadthisSeaWolfstuff-"
  "Youweren’ttheSeaWolf,"Whiskersbrokeinwithinvoluntarypositiveness。
  "No,sir,"wasthesnarlinganswer。"TheSeaWolf’sdead,isn’the?AndI’mstillalive,aren’tI?"
  "Ofcourse,ofcourse,"Whiskersconceded。"Hesuffocatedhead-
  firstinthemudoffawharfinVictoriaacoupleofyearsback。"
  "AsIwassaying-andIdon’tlikeinterruptions,"BruceCadoganCavendishproceeded,"it’sabeastlyfunnycountryoverthatway。
  IwasatTaki-Tiki,alowislandthatpoliticallybelongstotheSolomons,butthatgeologicallydoesn’tatall,fortheSolomonsarehighislands。EthnographicallyitbelongstoPolynesia,Melanesia,andMicronesia,becauseallthebreedsoftheSouthPacifichavegravitatedtoitbycanoe-driftandintricately,degeneratively,andamazinglyinterbred。Thescumofthescrapingsofthebottomofthehumanpit,biologicallyspeaking,residesinTaka-Tiki。AndIknowthebottomandwhereofIspeak。
  "ItwasabeastlyfunnytimeofitIhad,divingoutshell,fishingbeche-de-mer,tradinghoop-ironandhatchetsforcopraandivory-
  nuts,runningniggersandalltherestofit。Why,eveninFijitheLotuwashavingahardtimeofitandthechiefsstilleatinglong-pig。Tothewestwarditwasfierce-funnylittleblackkinky-heads,man-eatersthelastJackofthem,andthejackpotfatandspillingoverwithwealth-"
  "Jack-pots?"Fattyqueried。Atsightofanirritablemovement,headded:"Yousee,InevergotovertotheWestlikeDelarouseandyou。"
  "They’reallhead-hunters。Headsarevaluable,especiallyawhiteman’shead。Theydecoratethecanoe-housesanddevil-devilhouseswiththem。Eachvillagerunsajack-pot,andeverybodyantes。
  Whoeverbringsinawhiteman’sheadtakesthepot。Iftherearen’topenersforalongtime,thepotgrowstotremendousproportions。Beastlyfunny,isn’tit?
  "Iknow。Didn’taHollandmatedieonmeofblackwater?Anddidn’tIwinapotmyself?Itwasthisway。WewerelyingatLango-luiatthetime。Ineverleton,andarrangedtheaffairwithJohnny,myboat-steerer。Hewasakinky-headhimselffromPortMoresby。Hecutthedeadmate’sheadoffandsneakedashoreinthemight,whileIwhangedawaywithmyrifleasifIweretryingtogethim。Heopenedthepotwiththemate’shead,andgotit,too。Ofcourse,nextdayIsentinalandingboat,withtwocoveringboats,andfetchedhimoffwiththeloot。"
  "Howbigwasthepot?"Whiskersasked。"IheardofapotatOrlawortheightyquid。"
  "Tocommencewith,"Slimanswered,"therewerefortyfatpigs,eachworthafathomofprimeshell-money,andshell-moneyworthaquidafathom。Thatwastwohundreddollarsrightthere。Therewereninety-eightfathomsofshell-money,whichisprettyclosetofivehundredinitself。Andthereweretwenty-twogoldsovereigns。I
  splititfourways:one-fourthtoJohnny,one-fourthtotheship,one-fourthtomeasowner,andone-fourthtomeasskipper。Johnnynevercomplained。He’dneverhadsomuchwealthallatonetimeinhislife。Besides,Igavehimacoupleofthemate’soldshirts。
  AndIfancythemate’sheadisstilltheredecoratingthecanoe-
  house。"
  "NotexactlyChristianburialofaChristian,"Whiskersobserved。
  "Butalucrativeburial,"Slimretorted。"Ihadtofeedtherestofthemateover-sidetothesharksfornothing。Thinkoffeedinganeight-hundred-dollarheadalongwithit。Itwouldhavebeencriminalwasteandstarklunacy。
  "Well,anyway,itwasallbeastlyfunny,overtheretothewestward。And,withouttellingyouthescrapeIgotintoatTaki-
  Tiki,exceptthatIsailedawaywithtwohundredkinky-headsforQueenslandlabour,andformymannerofcollectingthemhadtwoBritishshipsofwarcombingthePacificforme,IchangedmycourseandrantothewestwardthinkingtodisposeofthelottotheSpanishplantationsonBangar。
  "Typhoonseason。Wecaughtit。TheMERRYMISTwasmyschooner’sname,andIhadthoughtshewasstoutlybuiltuntilshehitthattyphoon。Ineversawsuchseas。Theypoundedthatstoutcrafttopieces,literallyso。Thestickswerejerkedoutofher,deckhousessplinteredtomatch-wood,railsrippedoff,and,aftertheworsthadpassed,thecoveringboardsbegantogo。Wejustmanagedtorepairwhatwasleftofoneboatandkeeptheschoonerafloatonlytilltheseawentdownbarelyenoughtogetaway。Andweoutfittedthatboatinahurry。ThecarpenterandIwerethelast,andwehadtojumpforitashewentdown。Therewereonlyfourofus-"
  "Lostalltheniggers?"Whiskersinquired。
  "Someofthemswamforsometime,"Slimreplied。"ButIdon’tfancytheymadetheland。Weweretendays’indoingit。Andwehadaspankingbreezemostoftheway。Andwhatdoyouthinkwehadintheboatwithus?Casesofsquare-faceginandcasesofdynamite。Funny,wasn’tit?Well,itgotfunnierlateron。Oh,therewasasmallbeakerofwater,alittlesalthorse,andsomesalt-water-soakedseabiscuit-enoughtokeepusalivetoTagalag。
  "NowTagalagisthedisappointingestislandI’veeverbeheld。Itshowsupoutoftheseasoasyoucanmakeitsfalltwentymilesoff。Itisavolcanoconethrustupoutofdeepsea,withasegmentofthecraterwallbrokenout。Thisgivesseaentrancetothecrateritself,andmakesafineshelteredharbour。Andthat’sall。Nothinglivesthere。Theoutsideandtheinsideofthecrateraretoosteep。Atoneplace,inside,isapatchofaboutathousandcoconutpalms。Andthat’sall,asIsaid,savingafewinsects。Nofour-leggedthing,evenarat,inhabitstheplace。
  Andit’sfunny,mostawfulfunny,withallthosecoconuts,notevenacoconutcrab。Theonlymeat-foodlivingwasschoolsofmulletintheharbour-fattest,finest,biggestmulletIeverlaideyeson。
  "Andthefourofuslandedonthelittlebeachandsetuphousekeepingamongthecoconutswithalarderfullofdynamiteandsquare-face。Whydon’tyoulaugh?It’sfunny,Itellyou。Tryitsometime-Hollandginandstraightcoconutdiet。I’veneverbeenabletolookaconfectioner’swindowinthefacesince。NowI’mnotstrongonreligionlikeChaunceyDelarousethere,butI
  havesomeprimitiveideas;andmyconceptofhellisanillimitablecoconutplantation,stockedwithcasesofsquare-faceandpopulatedbyship-wreckedmariners。Funny?Itmustmakethedevilscream。
  "Youknow,straightcoconutiswhattheagriculturistscallanunbalancedration。Itcertainlyunbalancedourdigestions。Wegotsothatwheneverhungertookanextrabiteatus,wetookanotherdrinkofgin。Afteracoupleofweeksofit,Olaf,asquareheadsailor,gotanidea。Itcamewhenhewasfullofgin,andwe,beinginthesamefix,justwatchedhimshoveacapandshortfuseintoastickofdynamiteandstrolldowntowardtheboat。
  "Itdawnedonmethathewasgoingtoshootfishiftherewereanyabout;butthesunwasbeastlyhot,andIjustreclinedthereandhopedhe’dhaveluck。
  "Abouthalfanhourafterhedisappearedweheardtheexplosion。
  Buthedidn’tcomeback。Wewaitedtillthecoolofsunset,anddownonthebeachfoundwhathadbecomeofhim。Theboatwasthereallright,groundedbytheprevailingbreeze,buttherewasnoOlaf。Hewouldneverhavetoeatcoconutagain。Wewentback,shakierthanever,andcrackedanothersquare-face。
  "Thenextdaythecookannouncedthathewouldrathertakehischancewithdynamitethancontinuetryingtoexistoncoconut,andthat,thoughhedidn’tknowanythingaboutdynamite,heknewasighttoomuchaboutcoconut。Sowebitthedetonatordownforhim,shovedinafuse,andpickedhimagoodfire-stick,whilehejoltedupwithacouplemorestiffonesofgin。
  "Itwasthesameprogrammeasthedaybefore。Afterawhileweheardtheexplosionandattwilightwentdowntotheboat,fromwhichwescrapedenoughofthecookforafuneral。
  "ThecarpenterandIstuckitouttwodaysmore,thenwedrewstrawsforitanditwashisturn。Wepartedwithharshwords;forhewantedtotakeasquare-facealongtorefreshhimselfbytheway,whileIwassetagainstrunninganychanceofwastingthegin。
  Besides,hehadmorethanhecouldcarrythen,andhewobbledandstaggeredashewalked。
  "Samething,onlytherewasawholelotofhimleftformetobury,becausehe’dpreparedonlyhalfastick。Imanagedtolastitouttillnextday,when,afterdulyfortifyingmyself,Igotsufficientcouragetotacklethedynamite。Iusedonlyathirdofastick-
  youknow,shortfuse,withtheendsplitsoastoholdtheheadofasafetymatch。That’swhereImendedmypredecessors’methods。
  Notusingthematch-head,they’dtoo-longfuses。Therefore,whentheyspottedaschoolofmullet;andlightedthefuse,theyhadtoholdthedynamitetillthefuseburnedshortbeforetheythrewit。
  Iftheythrewittoosoon,itwouldn’tgoofftheinstantithitthewater,whilethesplashofitwouldfrightenthemulletaway。
  Funnystuffdynamite。Atanyrate,Istillmaintainminewasthesafermethod。
  "IpickedupaschoolofmulletbeforeI’dbeenrowingfiveminutes。Finebigfatonestheywere,andIcouldsmellthemoverthefire。WhenIstoodup,fire-stickinonehand,dynamitestickintheother,mykneeswereknockingtogether。Maybeitwasthegin,ortheanxiousness,ortheweaknessandthehunger,andmaybeitwastheresultofallofthem,butatanyrateIwasallofashake。TwiceIfailedtotouchthefire-sticktothedynamite。
  ThenIdid,heardthematch-headsplutter,andlethergo。
  "NowIdon’tknowwhathappenedtotheothers,butIknowwhatI
  did。Igotturnedabout。Didyoueverstemastrawberryandthrowthestrawberryawayandpopthestemintoyourmouth?That’swhatIdid。Ithrewthefire-stickintothewaterafterthemulletandheldontothedynamite。Andmyarmwentoffwiththestickwhenitwentoff……"
  Sliminvestigatedthetomato-canforwatertomixhimselfadrink,butfounditempty。Hestoodup。
  "Heighho,"heyawned,andstarteddownthepathtotheriver。
  Inseveralminuteshewasback。Hemixedtheduequantityofriverslushwiththealcohol,tookalong,solitarydrink,andstaredwithbittermoodinessintothefire。
  "Yes,but……"Fattysuggested。"Whathappenedthen?"
  "Oh,"sadSlim。"Thentheprincessmarriedme,ofcourse。"
  "Butyouweretheonlypersonleft,andtherewasn’tanyprincess……"Whiskerscriedoutabruptly,andthenlethisvoicetrailawaytoembarrassedsilence。
  Slimstaredunblinkinglyintothefire。
  PercivalDelaneyandChaunceyDelarouselookedateachother。
  Quietly,insolemnsilence,eachwithhisonearmaidedtheonearmoftheotherinrollingandtyinghisbundle。Andinsilence,bundlesslungonshoulders,theywentawayoutofthecircleoffirelight。Notuntiltheyreachedthetopoftherailroadembankmentdidtheyspeak。
  "Nogentlemanwouldhavedoneit,"saidWhiskers。
  "Nogentlemanwouldhavedoneit,"Fattyagreed。
  GlenEllen,California,SEPTEMBER26,1916。