Carlyletoldusallthatwearemostlyfools。MatthewArnoldandRuskinweremorecircumstantialandmoreabusive。Everybody，includingtheworkersthemselves，knowthattheyaredirty，drunken，foul-mouthed，ignorant，gluttonous，prejudiced：inshort，heirstothepeculiarillsofpovertyandslavery，aswellasco-heirswiththeplutocracytoallthefailingsofhumannature。EvenShelleyadmitted，200yearsafterShakespearwroteCoriolanus，thatuniversalsuffragewasoutofthequestion。Surelytherealtest，notofDemocracy，whichwasnotalivepoliticalissueinShakespear’stime，butofimpartialityinjudgingclasses，whichiswhatonedemandsfromagreathumanpoet，isnotthatheshouldflatterthepooranddenouncetherich，butthatheshouldweighthembothinthesamebalance。NowwhoeverwillreadLearandMeasureforMeasurewillfindstampedonhismindsuchanappalledsenseofthedangerofdressingmaninalittlebriefauthority，suchamercilessstrippingofthepurplefromthe"poor，bare，forkedanimal"thatcallsitselfakingandfanciesitselfagod，thatonewonderswhatwastherealnatureofthemysteriousrestraintthatkept"ElizaandourJames"fromteachingShakespeartobeciviltocrownedheads，justasonewonderswhyTolstoywasallowedtogofreewhensomanylessterriblelevellerswenttothegalleysorSiberia。FromthematureShakespearwegetnosuchscenesofvillagesnobberyasthatbetweenthestagecountrygentlemanAlexanderIdenandthestageRadicalJackCade。WegettheshepherdinAsYouLikeIt，andmanyhonest，brave，human，andloyalservants，besidetheinevitablecomicones。EvenintheJingoplay，HenryV，wegetBatesandWilliamsdrawnwithallrespectandhonorasnormalrankandfilemen。InJuliusCaesar，ShakespearwenttoworkwithawillwhenhetookhiscuefromPlutarchinglorifyingregicideandtransfiguringtherepublicans。Indeedhero-worshippershaveneverforgivenhimforbelittlingCaesarandfailingtoseethatsideofhisassassinationwhichmadeGoethedenounceitasthemostsenselessofcrimes。PuttheplaybesidetheCharlesIofWills，inwhichCromwelliswrittendowntoapointatwhichtheJackCadeofHenryVIbecomesaheroincomparison；andthenbelieve，ifyoucan，thatShakespearwasoneofthemthat"crookthepregnanthingesofthekneewherethriftmayfollowfawning。"ThinkofRosencrantz，Guildenstern，Osric，thefopwhoannoyedHotspur，andadozenpassagesconcerningsuchpeople！Ifsuchevidencecanproveanything（andMrHarrisreliesthroughoutonsuchevidence）Shakespearloathedcourtiers。
　　If，ontheotherhand，Shakespear’scharactersaremostlymembersoftheleisuredclasses，thesamethingistrueofMrHarris’sownplaysandmine。Industrialslaveryisnotcompatiblewiththatfreedomofadventure，thatpersonalrefinementandintellectualculture，thatscopeofaction，whichthehigherandsubtlerdramademands。
　　EvenCervanteshadfinallytodropDonQuixote’stroubleswithinnkeepersdemandingtobepaidforhisfoodandlodging，andmakehimasfreeofeconomicdifficultiesasAmadisdeGaul。Hamlet’sexperiencessimplycouldnothavehappenedtoaplumber。Apoormanisusefulonthestageonlyasablindmanis：toexcitesympathy。
　　ThepovertyoftheapothecaryinRomeoandJulietproducesagreateffect，andevenpointsthesoundmoralthatapoormancannotaffordtohaveaconscience；butifallthecharactersoftheplayhadbeenaspoorashe，itwouldhavebeennothingbutamelodramaofthesortthattheSicilianplayersgaveushere；andthatwasnotthebestthatlayinShakespear’spower。Whenpovertyisabolished，andleisureandgraceoflifebecomegeneral，theonlyplayssurvivingfromourepochwhichwillhaveanyrelationtolifeasitwillbelivedthenwillbethoseinwhichnoneofthepersonsrepresentedaretroubledwithwantofmoneyorwretcheddrudgery。Ourplaysofpovertyandsqualor，nowtheonlyonesthataretruetothelifeofthemajorityoflivingmen，willthenbeclassedwiththerecordsofmisersandmonsters，andreadonlybyhistoricalstudentsofsocialpathology。
　　ThenconsiderShakespear’skingsandlordsandgentlemen！WouldevenJohnBallorJeremiahcomplainthattheyareflattered？Surelyamoremercilesslyexposedstringofscoundrelsnevercrossedthestage。Theverymonarchwhoparalyzesarebelbyappealingtothedivinitythathedgesaking，isadrunkenandsensualassassin，andispresentlykilledcontemptuouslybeforeoureyesinspiteofhishedgeofdivinity。IcouldwriteasconvincingachapteronShakespear’sDickensianprejudiceagainstthethroneandthenobilityandgentryingeneralasMrHarrisorErnestCrosbieontheotherside。IcouldevengosofarastocontendthatoneofShakespear’sdefectsishislackofanintelligentcomprehensionoffeudalism。HehadofcoursenoprevisionofdemocraticCollectivism。Hewas，exceptinthecommonplacesofwarandpatriotism，aprivateerthroughandthrough。
　　Nobodyinhisplays，whetherkingorcitizen，hasanycivilpublicbusinessorconceptionofsuchathing，exceptinthemethodofappointingconstables，totheabusesinwhichhecalledattentionquiteintheveinoftheFabianSociety。Hewasconcernedaboutdrunkennessandabouttheidolatryandhypocrisyofourjudicialsystem；buthisimpliedremedywaspersonalsobrietyandfreedomfromidolatrousillusioninsofarashehadanyremedyatall，anddidnotmerelydespairofhumannature。Hisfirstandlastwordonparliamentwas"Gettheeglasseyes，and，likeascurvypolitician，seemtoseethethingthoudostnot。"HehadnonotionofthefeelingwithwhichthelandnationalizersoftodayregardthefactthathewasapartytotheenclosureofcommonlandsatWellcome。Theexplanationis，notageneraldeficiencyinhismind，butthesimplefactthatinhisdaywhatEnglishlandneededwasindividualappropriationandcultivation，andwhattheEnglishConstitutionneededwastheincorporationofWhigprinciplesofindividualliberty。
　　ShakespearandtheBritishPublicIhaverejectedMrHarris’sviewthatShakespeardiedbroken-heartedof"thepangsoflovedespised。"IhavegivenmyreasonsforbelievingthatShakespeardiedgame，andindeedinastateoflevitywhichwouldhavebeenconsideredunbecominginabishop。ButMrHarris’sevidencedoesprovethatShakespearhadagrievanceandaveryseriousone。Hemighthavebeenjiltedbytendarkladiesandbeennonetheworseforit；buthistreatmentbytheBritishPublicwasanothermatter。TheidolatrywhichexasperatedBenJonsonwasbynomeansapopularmovement；and，likeallsuchidolatries，itwasexcitedbythemagicofShakespear’sartratherthanbyhisviews。
　　HewaslaunchedonhiscareerasasuccessfulplaywrightbytheHenryVItrilogy，aworkofnooriginality，depth，orsubtletyexcepttheoriginality，depth，andsubtletyofthefeelingsandfanciesofthecommonpeople。ButShakespearwasnotsatisfiedwiththis。WhatistheuseofbeingShakespearifyouarenotallowedtoexpressanynotionsbutthoseofAutolycus？ShakespeardidnotseetheworldasAutolycusdid：hesawit，ifnotexactlyasIbsendid（foritwasnotquitethesameworld），atleastwithmuchofIbsen’spowerofpenetratingitsillusionsandidolatries，andwithallSwift’shorrorofitscrueltyanduncleanliness。
　　Nowithappenstosomemenwiththesepowersthattheyareforcedtoimposetheirfullestexerciseontheworldbecausetheycannotproducepopularwork。TakeWagnerandIbsenforinstance！Theirearlierworksarenodoubtmuchcheaperthantheirlaterones；still，theywerenotpopularwhentheywerewritten。Thealternativeofdoingpopularworkwasneverreallyopentothem：hadtheystoopedtheywouldhavepickeduplessthantheysnatchedfromabovethepeople’sheads。ButHandelandShakespearwerenotheldtotheirbestinthisway。Theycouldturnoutanythingtheywereaskedfor，andevenheapupthemeasure。TheyreviledtheBritishPublic，andneverforgaveitforignoringtheirbestworkandadmiringtheirsplendidcommonplaces；
　　buttheyproducedthecommonplacesallthesame，andmadethemsoundmagnificentbymerebrutefacultyfortheirart。WhenShakespearwasforcedtowritepopularplaystosavehistheatrefromruin，hediditmutinously，callingtheplays"As_You_LikeIt，"and"MuchAdoAboutNothing。"Allthesame，hediditsowellthattothisdaythesetwogenialvulgaritiesarethemainShakespearianstock-in-tradeofourtheatres。LateronBurbage’spowerandpopularityasanactorenabledShakespeartofreehimselffromthetyrannyoftheboxoffice，andtoexpresshimselfmorefreelyinplaysconsistinglargelyofmonologuetobespokenbyagreatactorfromwhomthepublicwouldstandagooddeal。ThehistoryofShakespear’stragedieshasthusbeenthehistoryofalonglineoffamousactors，fromBurbageandBettertontoForbesRobertson；andthemanofwhomwearetoldthat"whenhewouldhavesaidthatRicharddied，andcriedAhorse！Ahorse！heBurbagecried"
　　wasthefatherofninegenerationsofShakespearianplaygoers，allspeakingofGarrick’sRichard，andKean’sOthello，andIrving’sShylock，andForbesRobertson’sHamletwithoutknowingorcaringhowmuchthesehadtodowithShakespear’sRichardandOthelloandsoforth。Andtheplayswhichwerewrittenwithoutgreatandpredominantparts，suchasTroilusandCressida，All’sWellThatEndsWell，andMeasureforMeasure，havedroppedonourstageasdeadasthesecondpartofGoethe’sFaustorIbsen’sEmperororGalilean。
　　Here，then，Shakespearhadarealgrievance；andthoughitisasentimentalexaggerationtodescribehimasabroken-heartedmaninthefaceofthepassagesofrecklessjollityandserenelyhappypoetryinhislatestplays，yetthediscoverythathismostseriousworkcouldreachsuccessonlywhencarriedonthebackofaveryfascinatingactorwhowasenormouslyovercharginghispart，andthattheseriousplayswhichdidnotcontainpartsbigenoughtoholdtheoverchargewereleftontheshelf，amplyaccountsfortheevidentfactthatShakespeardidnotendhislifeinaglowofenthusiasticsatisfactionwithmankindandwiththetheatre，whichisallthatMrHarriscanallegeinsupportofhisbroken-hearttheory。ButevenifShakespearhadhadnofailures，itwasnotpossibleforamanofhispowerstoobservethepoliticalandmoralconductofhiscontemporarieswithoutperceivingthattheywereincapableofdealingwiththeproblemsraisedbytheirowncivilization，andthattheirattemptstocarryoutthecodesoflawandtopractisethereligionsofferedtothembygreatprophetsandlaw-giverswereandstillaresofoolishthatwenowcallforTheSuperman，virtuallyanewspecies，torescuetheworldfrommismanagement。Thisistherealsorrowofgreatmen；andinthefaceofitthenotionthatwhenagreatmanspeaksbitterlyorlooksmelancholyhemustbetroubledbyadisappointmentinloveseemstomesentimentaltrifling。
　　IfIhavecarriedthereaderwithmethusfar，hewillfindthattrivialasthislittleplayofmineis，itssketchofShakespearismorecompletethanitslevitysuggests。Alas！itsappealforaNationalTheatreasamonumenttoShakespearfailedtotouchtheverystupidpeoplewhocannotseethataNationalTheatreisworthhavingforthesakeoftheNationalSoul。IhadunfortunatelyrepresentedShakespearastreasuringandusing（asIdomyself）thejewelsofunconsciouslymusicalspeechwhichcommonpeopleutterandthrowawayeveryday；andthiswastakenasadisparagementofShakespear’s"originality。"WhywasIbornwithsuchcontemporaries？WhyisShakespearmaderidiculousbysuchaposterity？
　　_TheDarkLadyofTheSonnetswasfirstperformedattheHaymarketTheatre，ontheafternoonofThursday，the24thNovember1910，byMonaLimerickastheDarkLady，SuzanneSheldonasQueenElizabeth，GranvilleBarkerasShakespear，andHughTabbererastheWarder。_
　　THEDARKLADYOFTHESONNETS
　　_Findesiecle15-1600。MidsummernightontheterraceofthePalaceatWhitehall，overlookingtheThames。ThePalaceclockchimesfourquartersandstrikeseleven。_
　　_ABeefeateronguard。ACloakedManapproaches。_
　　THEBEEFEATER。Stand。Whogoesthere？Givetheword。
　　THEMAN。Marry！Icannot。Ihavecleanforgottenit。
　　THEBEEFEATER。Thencannotyoupasshere。Whatisyourbusiness？
　　Whoareyou？Areyouatrueman？
　　THEMAN。Farfromit，MasterWarder。Iamnotthesamemantwodaystogether：sometimesAdam，sometimesBenvolio，andanontheGhost。
　　THEBEEFEATER。_[recoiling]_Aghost！Angelsandministersofgracedefendus！
　　THEMAN。Wellsaid，MasterWarder。WithyourleaveIwillsetthatdowninwriting；forIhaveaverypoorandunhappybrainforremembrance。_[Hetakesouthistabletsandwrites]。_Methinksthisisagoodscene，withyouonyourlonelywatch，andIapproachinglikeaghostinthemoonlight。Starenotsoamazedlyatme；butmarkwhatIsay。Ikeeptrysthereto-nightwithadarklady。Shepromisedtobribethewarder。Igaveherthewherewithal：fourticketsfortheGlobeTheatre。
　　THEBEEFEATER。Plagueonher！Shegavemetwoonly。
　　THEMAN。_[detachingatablet]_Myfriend：presentthistablet，andyouwillbewelcomedatanytimewhentheplaysofWillShakespearareinhand。Bringyourwife。Bringyourfriends。Bringthewholegarrison。Thereiseverplentyofroom。
　　THEBEEFEATER。Icarenotforthesenew-fangledplays。Nomancanunderstandawordofthem。Theyarealltalk。WillyounotgivemeapassforTheSpanishTragedy？
　　THEMAN。ToseeTheSpanishTragedyonepays，myfriend。Herearethemeans。_[Hegiveshimapieceofgold]。_
　　THEBEEFEATER。_[overwhelmed]_Gold！Oh，sir，youareabetterpaymasterthanyourdarklady。
　　THEMAN。Womenarethrifty，myfriend。
　　THEBEEFEATER。Tisso，sir。Andyouhavetoconsiderthatthemostopenhandedofusmusteencheapenthatwhichwebuyeveryday。Thisladyhastomakeapresenttoawardernigheverynightofherlife。
　　THEMAN。_[turningpale]_I’llnotbelieveit。
　　THEBEEFEATER。Nowyou，sir，Idarebesworn，donothaveanadventurelikethistwiceintheyear。
　　THEMAN。Villain：wouldsttellmethatmydarkladyhatheverdonethusbefore？thatshemakethoccasionstomeetothermen？
　　THEBEEFEATER。NowtheLordblessyourinnocence，sir，doyouthinkyouaretheonlyprettymanintheworld？Amerrylady，sir：awarmbitofstuff。Goto：I’llnotseeherpassadeceitonagentlemanthathathgivenmethefirstpieceofgoldIeverhandled。
　　THEMAN。MasterWarder：isitnotastrangethingthatwe，knowingthatallwomenarefalse，shouldbeamazedtofindourownparticulardrabnobetterthantherest？
　　THEBEEFEATER。Notall，sir。Decentbodies，manyofthem。
　　THEMAN。_[intolerantly]_No。Allfalse。All。Ifthoudenyit，thouliest。
　　THEBEEFEATER。YoujudgetoomuchbytheCourt，sir。There，indeed，youmaysayoffrailtythatitsnameiswoman。
　　THEMAN。_[pullingouthistabletsagain]_Pritheesaythatagain：
　　thataboutfrailty：thestrainofmusic。
　　THEBEEFEATER。Whatstrainofmusic，sir？I’mnomusician，Godknows。
　　THEMAN。Thereismusicinyoursoul：manyofyourdegreehaveitverynotably。_[Writing]_"Frailty：thynameiswoman！"
　　_[Repeatingitaffectionately]_"Thynameiswoman。"
　　THEBEEFEATER。Well，sir，itisbutfourwords。Areyouasnapper-upofsuchunconsideredtrifles？
　　THEMAN。_[eagerly]_Snapper-upof——_[hegasps]_Oh！Immortalphrase！_[Hewritesitdown]。_ThismanisagreaterthanI。
　　THEBEEFEATER。YouhavemylordPembroke’strick，sir。
　　THEMAN。Likeenough：heismynearfriend。Butwhatcallyouhistrick？
　　THEBEEFEATER。Makingsonnetsbymoonlight。Andtothesameladytoo。
　　THEMAN。No！
　　THEBEEFEATER。Lastnighthestoodhereonyourerrand，andinyourshoes。
　　THEMAN。Thou，too，Brutus！AndIcalledhimfriend！
　　THEBEEFEATER。Tiseverso，sir。
　　THEMAN。Tiseverso。Twaseverso。_[Heturnsaway，overcome]。_
　　TwoGentlemenofVerona！Judas！Judas！！
　　THEBEEFEATER。Ishesobadasthat，sir？
　　THEMAN。_[recoveringhischarityandself-possession]_Bad？Ohno。
　　Human，MasterWarder，human。Wecalloneanothernameswhenweareoffended，aschildrendo。Thatisall。
　　THEBEEFEATER。Ay，sir：words，words，words。Merewind，sir。Wefillourbellieswiththeeastwind，sir，astheScripturehathit。
　　Youcannotfeedcaponsso。
　　THEMAN。Agoodcadence。Byyourleave_[Hemakesanoteofit]。_
　　THEBEEFEATER。Whatmannerofthingisacadence，sir？Ihavenotheardofit。
　　THEMAN。Athingtoruletheworldwith，friend。
　　THEBEEFEATER。Youspeakstrangely，sir：nooffence。But，an’tlikeyou，youareaverycivilgentleman；andapoormanfeelsdrawntoyou，youbeing，astwere，willingtoshareyourthoughtwithhim。
　　THEMAN。Tismytrade。Butalas！theworldforthemostpartwillnoneofmythoughts。
　　_Lamplightstreamsfromthepalacedoorasitopensfromwithin。_
　　THEBEEFEATER。Herecomesyourlady，sir。I’lltot’otherendofmyward。Youmayeentakeyourtimeaboutyourbusiness：Ishallnotreturntoosuddenlyunlessmysergeantcomesprowlinground。Tisafellsergeant，sir：strictinhisarrest。Go’d’en，sir；andgoodluck！_[Hegoes]。_
　　THEMAN。"Strictinhisarrest"！"Fellsergeant"！_[Asiftastingaripeplum]_O-o-o-h！_[Hemakesanoteofthem]。_
　　_ACloakedLadygropesherwayfromthepalaceandwandersalongtheterrace，walkinginhersleep。_
　　THELADY。_[rubbingherhandsasifwashingthem]_Out，damnedspot。
　　Youwillmarallwiththesecosmetics。Godmadeyouoneface；andyoumakeyourselfanother。Thinkofyourgrave，woman，noteverofbeingbeautified。AlltheperfumesofArabiawillnotwhitenthisTudorhand。
　　THEMAN。"AlltheperfumesofArabia"！"Beautified"！"Beautified"！
　　apoeminasingleword。CanthisbemyMary？_[TotheLady]_Whydoyouspeakinastrangevoice，andutterpoetryforthefirsttime？
　　Areyouailing？Youwalklikethedead。Mary！Mary！
　　THELADY。_[echoinghim]_Mary！Mary！Whowouldhavethoughtthatwomantohavehadsomuchbloodinher！Isitmyfaultthatmycounsellorsputdeedsofbloodonme？Fie！Ifyouwerewomenyouwouldhavemorewitthantostainthefloorsofoully。Holdnotupherheadso：thehairisfalse。Itellyouyetagain，Mary’sburied：
　　shecannotcomeoutofhergrave。Ifearhernot：thesecatsthatdarejumpintothronesthoughtheybefitonlyformen’slapsmustbeputaway。Whatsdonecannotbeundone。Out，Isay。Fie！aqueen，andfreckled！
　　THEMAN。_[shakingherarm]_Mary，Isay：artasleep？
　　_TheLadywakes；starts；andnearlyfaints。Hecatchesheronhisarm。_
　　THELADY。WhereamI？Whatartthou？
　　THEMAN。Icryyourmercy。Ihavemistookyourpersonallthiswhile。MethoughtyouweremyMary：mymistress。
　　THELADY。_[outraged]_Profanefellow：howdoyoudare？
　　THEMAN。Benotwrothwithme，lady。Mymistressisamarvellousproperwoman。Butshedoesnotspeaksowellasyou。"AlltheperfumesofArabia"！Thatwaswellsaid：spokenwithgoodaccentandexcellentdiscretion。
　　THELADY。HaveIbeeninspeechwithyouhere？
　　THEMAN。Why，yes，fairlady。Haveyouforgotit？
　　THELADY。Ihavewalkedinmysleep。
　　THEMAN。Walkeverinyoursleep，fairone；forthenyourwordsdroplikehoney。
　　THELADY。_[withcoldmajesty]_Knowyoutowhomyouspeak，sir，thatyoudareexpressyourselfsosaucily？
　　THEMAN。_[unabashed]_NotI，notcareneither。YouaresomeladyoftheCourt，belike。Tometherearebuttwosortsofwomen：thosewithexcellentvoices，sweetandlow，andcacklinghensthatcannotmakemedream。Yourvoicehasallmanneroflovelinessinit。Grudgemenotashorthourofitsmusic。
　　THELADY。Sir：youareoverbold。Seasonyouradmirationforawhilewith——
　　THEMAN。_[holdinguphishandtostopher]_"Seasonyouradmirationforawhile——"
　　THELADY。Fellow：doyoudaremimicmetomyface？
　　THEMAN。Tismusic。Canyounothear？Whenagoodmusiciansingsasong，doyounotsingitandsingitagaintillyouhavecaughtandfixeditsperfectmelody？Seasonyouradmirationforawhile"：God！
　　thehistoryofman’sheartisinthatonewordadmiration。
　　Admiration！_[Takinguphistablets]_Whatwasit？"Suspendyouradmirationforaspace——"
　　THELADY。Averyvilejingleofesses。Isaid"Seasonyour——"
　　THEMAN。_[hastily]_Season：ay，season，season，season。Plagueonmymemory，mywretchedmemory！Imusteenwriteitdown。_[Hebeginstowrite，butstops，hismemoryfailinghim]。_Yettellmewhichwasthevilejingle？Yousaidveryjustly：mineownearcaughtitevenasmyfalsetonguesaidit。
　　THELADY。Yousaid"foraspace。"Isaid"forawhile。"
　　THEMAN。"Forawhile"_[hecorrectsit]。_Good！_[Ardently]_Andnowbemineneitherforaspacenorawhile，butforever。
　　THELADY。Oddsmylife！Areyoubychancemakinglovetome，knave？
　　THEMAN。Nay：tisyouwhohavemadethelove：Ibutpouritoutatyourfeet。Icannotbutlovealassthatsetssuchstorebyanaptword。Thereforevouchsafe，divineperfectionofawoman——no：Ihavesaidthatbeforesomewhere；andthewordygarmentofmyloveforyoumustbefire-new——
　　THELADY。Youtalktoomuch，sir。Letmewarnyou：Iammoreaccustomedtobelistenedtothanpreachedat。
　　THEMAN。Themostarelikethatthatdotalkwell。Butthoughyouspakewiththetonguesofangels，asindeedyoudo，yetknowthatIamthekingofwords——
　　THELADY。Aking，ha！
　　THEMAN。Noless。Wearepoorthings，wemenandwomen——
　　THELADY。Dareyoucallmewoman？
　　THEMAN。WhatnoblernamecanItenderyou？HowelsecanIloveyou？
　　Yetyoumaywellshrinkfromthename：haveInotsaidwearebutpoorthings？Yetthereisapowerthatcanredeemus。
　　THELADY。Gramercyforyoursermon，sir。IhopeIknowmyduty。
　　THEMAN。Thisisnosermon，butthelivingtruth。ThepowerIspeakofisthepowerofimmortalpoesy。Forknowthatvileasthisworldis，andwormsasweare，youhavebuttoinvestallthisvilenesswithamagicalgarmentofwordstotransfigureusandupliftoursoulstilearthflowersintoamillionheavens。
　　THELADY。Youspoilyourheavenwithyourmillion。Youareextravagant。Observesomemeasureinyourspeech。
　　THEMAN。YouspeaknowasBendoes。
　　THELADY。Andwho，pray，isBen？
　　THEMAN。Alearnedbricklayerwhothinksthattheskyisatthetopofhisladder，andsotakesitonhimtorebukemeforflying。Itellyouthereisnowordyetcoinedandnomelodyyetsungthatisextravagantandmajesticalenoughfortheglorythatlovelywordscanreveal。Itisheresytodenyit：haveyounotbeentaughtthatinthebeginningwastheWord？thattheWordwaswithGod？nay，thattheWordwasGod？
　　THELADY。Beware，fellow，howyoupresumetospeakofholythings。
　　TheQueenistheheadoftheChurch。
　　THEMAN。YouaretheheadofmyChurchwhenyouspeakasyoudidatfirst。"AlltheperfumesofArabia"！CantheQueenspeakthus？Theysaysheplayethwelluponthevirginals。Letherplaysotome；andI’llkissherhands。Butuntilthen，youaremyQueen；andI’llkissthoselipsthathavedroptmusiconmyheart。_[Heputshisarmsabonther]。_
　　THELADY。Unmeasuredimpudence！Onyourlife，takeyourhandsfromme。
　　_TheDarkLadycomesstoopingalongtheterracebehindthemlikearunningthrush。Whensheseeshowtheyareemployed，sherisesangrilytoherfullheight，andlistensjealously。_
　　THEMAN。_[unawareoftheDarkLady]_Thenceasetomakemyhandstremblewiththestreamsoflifeyoupourthroughthem。Youholdmeasthelodestarholdstheiron：Icannotbutclingtoyou。Wearelost，youandI：nothingcanseparateusnow。
　　THEDARKLADY。Weshallseethat，falselyinghound，youandyourfilthytrull。_[Withtwovigorouscuffs，sheknocksthepairasunder，sendingtheman，whoisunluckyenoughtoreceivearighthandedblow，sprawlingantheflags]。_Takethat，bothofyou！
　　THECLOAKEDLADY。_[intoweringwrath，throwingoffhercloakandturninginoutragedmajestyonherassailant]_Hightreason！
　　THEDARKLADY。_[recognizingherandfallingonherkneesinabjectterror]_Will：Iamlost：IhavestrucktheQueen。
　　THEMAN。_[sittingupasmajesticallyashisignominiouspostureallows]_Woman：youhavestruckWILLIAMSHAKESPEAR。
　　QUEENELIZABETH。_[stupent]_Marry，comeup！！！StruckWilliamShakespearquotha！Andwhointhenameofalltheslutsandjadesandlight-o’-lovesandfly-by-nightsthatinfestthispalaceofmine，mayWilliamShakespearbe？
　　THEDARKLADY。Madam：heisbutaplayer。Oh，Icouldhavemyhandcutoff——
　　QUEENELIZABETH。Belikeyouwill，mistress。HaveyoubethoughtyouthatIamliketohaveyourheadcutoffaswell？
　　THEDARKLADY。Will：saveme。Oh，saveme。
　　ELIZABETH。Saveyou！Alikelysavior，onmyroyalword！Ihadthoughtthisfellowatleastanesquire；forIhadhopedthateventhevilestofmyladieswouldnothavedishonoredmyCourtbywantoningwithabasebornservant。
　　SHAKESPEAR。_[indignantlyscramblingtohisfeet]_Base-born！I，aShakespearofStratford！I，whosemotherwasanArden！baseborn！Youforgetyourself，madam。
　　ELIZABETH。_[furious]_S’blood！doIso？Iwillteachyou——
　　THEDARKLADY。_[risingfromherkneesandthrowingherselfbetweenthem]_Will：inGod’snameangerhernofurther。Itisdeath。
　　Madam：donotlistentohim。
　　SHAKESPEAR。Notwereiteentosaveyourlife，Mary，nottomentionmineown，willIflatteramonarchwhoforgetswhatisduetomyfamily。Idenynotthatmyfatherwasbroughtdowntobeapoorbankrupt；buttwashisgentlebloodthatwasevertoogenerousfortrade。Neverdidhedisownhisdebts。Tistruehepaidthemnot；butitisanattestedtruththathegavebillsforthem；andtwasthosebills，inthehandsofbasehucksters，thatwerehisundoing。
　　ELIZABETH。_[grimly]_ThesonofyourfathershalllearnhisplaceinthepresenceofthedaughterofHarrytheEighth。
　　SHAKESPEAR。_[swellingwithintolerantimportance]_NamenotthatinordinatemaninthesamebreathwithStratford’sworthiestalderman。
　　JohnShakespearweddedbutonce：HarryTudorwasmarriedsixtimes。
　　Youshouldblushtoutterhisname。
　　THEDARKLADY。Will：forpity’ssake——_cryingouttogether_
　　ELIZABETH。Insolentdog——
　　SHAKESPEAR。_[cuttingthemshort]_HowknowyouthatKingHarrywasindeedyourfather？
　　ELIZABETH。Zounds！Nowby——
　　_[shestopstogrindherteethwithrage]。_
　　THEDARKLADY。Shewillhavemewhippedthroughthestreets。OhGod！OhGod！
　　SHAKESPEAR。Learntoknowyourselfbetter，madam。Iamanhonestgentlemanofunquestionedparentage，andhavealreadysentinmydemandforthecoat-of-armsthatislawfullymine。Canyousayasmuchforyourself？
　　ELIZABETH。_[almostbesideherself]_Anotherword；andIbeginwithmineownhandstheworkthehangmanshallfinish。
　　SHAKESPEAR。YouarenotrueTudor：thisbaggageherehasasgoodarighttoyourroyalseatasyou。WhatmaintainsyouonthethroneofEngland？Isityourrenownedwit？yourwisdomthatsetsatnaughtthecraftieststatesmenoftheChristianworld？No。Tisthemerechancethatmighthavehappenedtoanymilkmaid，thecapriceofNaturethatmadeyouthemostwondrouspieceofbeautytheagehathseen。
　　_[Elizabeth’sraisedfists，onthepointofstrikinghim，falltoherside]。_Thatiswhathathbroughtallmentoyourfeet，andfoundedyourthroneontheimpregnablerockofyourproudheart，astonyislandinaseaofdesire。There，madam，issomewholesomeblunthonestspeakingforyou。Nowdoyourworst。
　　ELIZABETH。_[withdignity]_MasterShakespear：itiswellforyouthatIamamercifulprince。Imakeallowanceforyourrusticignorance。Butrememberthattherearethingswhichbetrue，andareyetnotseemlytobesaid（Iwillnotsaytoaqueen；foryouwillhaveitthatIamnone）buttoavirgin。
　　SHAKESPEAR。_[bluntly]_Itisnofaultofminethatyouareavirgin，madam，albeittismymisfortune。
　　THEDARKLADY。_[terrifiedagain]_Inmercy，madam，holdnofurtherdiscoursewithhim。Hehatheversomelewdjestonhistongue。Youhearhowheusethme！callingmebaggageandtheliketoyourMajesty’sface。
　　ELIZABETH。Asforyou，mistress，Ihaveyettodemandwhatyourbusinessisatthishourinthisplace，andhowyoucometobesoconcernedwithaplayerthatyoustrikeblindlyatyoursovereigninyourjealousyofhim。
　　THEDARKLADY。Madam：asIliveandhopeforsalvation——
　　SHAKESPEAR。_[sardonically]_Ha！
　　THEDARKLADY。_[angrily]_——ay，I’masliketobesavedasthouthatbelievestnaughtsavesomeblackmagicofwordsandverses——I
　　say，madam，asIamalivingwomanIcameheretobreakwithhimforever。Oh，madam，ifyouwouldknowwhatmiseryis，listentothismanthatismorethanmanandlessatthesametime。Hewilltieyoudowntoanatomizeyourverysoul：hewillwringtearsofbloodfromyourhumiliation；andthenhewillhealthewoundwithflatteriesthatnowomancanresist。
　　SHAKESPEAR。Flatteries！_[Kneeling]_Oh，madam，Iputmycaseatyourroyalfeet。Iconfesstomuch。Ihavearudetongue：Iamunmannerly：Iblasphemeagainsttheholinessofanointedroyalty；butoh，myroyalmistress，AMIaflatterer？
　　ELIZABETH。Iabsolveyouastothat。Youarefartooplainadealertopleaseme。_[Herisesgratefully]。_
　　THEDARKLADY。Madam：heisflatteringyouevenashespeaks。
　　ELIZABETH。_[aterribleflashinhereye]_Ha！Isitso？
　　SHAKESPEAR。Madam：sheisjealous；and，heavenhelpme！notwithoutreason。Oh，yousayyouareamercifulprince；butthatwascruelofyou，thathidingofyourroyaldignitywhenyoufoundmehere。ForhowcanIeverbecontentwiththisblack-haired，black-eyed，black-aviseddevilagainnowthatIhavelookeduponrealbeautyandrealmajesty？
　　THEDARKLADY。_[woundedanddesperate]_HehathsworetometentimesoverthatthedayshallcomeinEnglandwhenblackwomen，foralltheirfoulness，shallbemorethoughtonthanfairones。_[ToShakespear，scoldingathim]_Denyitifthoucanst。Oh，heiscompactofliesandscorns。Iamtiredofbeingtosseduptoheavenanddraggeddowntohellateverywhimthattakeshim。IamashamedtomyverysoulthatIhaveabasedmyselftoloveonethatmyfatherwouldnothavedeemedfittoholdmystirrup——onethatwilltalktoalltheworldaboutme——thatwillputmyloveandmyshameintohisplaysandmakemeblushformyselfthere——thatwillwritesonnetsaboutmethatnomanofgentlestrainwouldputhishandto。Iamalldisordered：IknownotwhatIamsayingtoyourMajesty：Iamofallladiesmostdejectandwretched——
　　SHAKESPEAR。Ha！Atlastsorrowhathstruckanoteofmusicoutofthee。"Ofallladiesmostdejectandwretched。"_[Hemakesanoteofit]。_
　　THEDARKLADY。Madam：Iimploreyougivemeleavetogo。Iamdistractedwithgriefandshame。I——
　　ELIZABETH。Go_[TheDarkLadytriestokissherhand]。_Nomore。
　　Go。_[TheDarkLadygoes，convulsed]。_Youhavebeencrueltothatpoorfondwretch，MasterShakespear。
　　SHAKESPEAR。Iamnottruel，madam；butyouknowthefableofJupiterandSemele。Icouldnothelpmylightningsscorchingher。
　　ELIZABETH。Youhaveanoverweeningconceitofyourself，sir，thatdispleasesyourQueen。
　　SHAKESPEAR。Oh，madam，canIgoaboutwiththemodestcoughofaminorpoet，belittlingmyinspirationandmakingthemightiestwonderofyourreignathingofnought？Ihavesaidthat"notmarblenorthegildedmonumentsofprincesshalloutlive"thewordswithwhichImaketheworldgloriousorfoolishatmywill。Besides，Iwouldhaveyouthinkmegreatenoughtograntmeaboon。
　　ELIZABETH。IhopeitisaboonthatmaybeaskedofavirginQueenwithoutoffence，sir。Imistrustyourforwardness；andIbidyourememberthatIdonotsufferpersonsofyourdegree（ifImaysaysowithoutoffencetoyourfatherthealderman）topresumetoofar。
　　SHAKESPEAR。Oh，madam，Ishallnotforgetmyselfagain；thoughbymylife，couldImakeyouaservingwench，neitheraqueennoravirginshouldyoubeforsomuchlongerasaflashoflightningmighttaketocrosstherivertotheBankside。Butsinceyouareaqueenandwillnoneofme，norofPhilipofSpain，norofanyothermortalman，I
　　musteencontainmyselfasbestImay，andaskyouonlyforaboonofState。
　　ELIZABETH。AboonofStatealready！Youarebecomingacourtierliketherestofthem。Youlackadvancement。
　　SHAKESPEAR。"Lackadvancement。"ByyourMajesty’sleave：aqueenlyphrase。_[Heisabouttowriteitdown]。_
　　ELIZABETH。_[strikingthetabletsfromhishand]_Yourtablesbegintoangerme，sir。Iamnotheretowriteyourplaysforyou。
　　SHAKESPEAR。Youareheretoinspirethem，madam。Forthis，amongtherest，wereyouordained。ButtheboonIcraveisthatyoudoendowagreatplayhouse，or，ifImaymakeboldtocoinascholarlynameforit，aNationalTheatre，forthebetterinstructionandgracingofyourMajesty’ssubjects。
　　ELIZABETH。Why，sir，aretherenottheatresenowontheBanksideandinBlackfriars？
　　SHAKESPEAR。Madam：thesearetheadventuresofneedyanddesperatementhatmust，tosavethemselvesfromperishingofwant，givethesilliersortofpeoplewhattheybestlike；andwhattheybestlike，Godknows，isnottheirownbettermentandinstruction，aswewellseebytheexampleofthechurches，whichmustneedscompelmentofrequentthem，thoughtheybeopentoallwithoutcharge。Onlywhenthereisamatterofamurder，oraplot，oraprettyyouthinpetticoats，orsomenaughtytaleofwantonness，willyoursubjectspaythegreatcostofgoodplayersandtheirfinery，withalittleprofittoboot。ToprovethisIwilltellyouthatIhavewrittentwonobleandexcellentplayssettingforththeadvancementofwomenofhighnatureandfruitfulindustryevenasyourMajestyis：theoneaskilfulphysician，theotherasisterdevotedtogoodworks。Ihavealsostolefromabookofidlewantontalestwoofthemostdamnablefoolishnessesintheworld，intheoneofwhichawomangoethinman’sattireandmakethimpudentlovetoherswain，whopleaseththegroundlingsbyoverthrowingawrestler；whilst，intheother，oneofthesamekidneyshewethherwitbysayingendlessnaughtinessestoagentlemanaslewdasherself。Ihavewritthesetosavemyfriendsfrompenury，yetshewingmyscornforsuchfolliesandforthemthatpraisethembycallingtheoneAsYouLikeIt，meaningthatitisnotas_I_likeit，andtheotherMuchAdoAboutNothing，asittrulyis。
　　Andnowthesetwofilthypiecesdrivetheirnoblerfellowsfromthestage，whereindeedIcannothavemyladyphysicianpresentedatall，shebeingtoohonestawomanforthetasteofthetown。WhereforeI
　　humblybegyourMajestytogiveorderthatatheatrebeendowedoutofthepublicrevenuefortheplayingofthosepiecesofminewhichnomerchantwilltouch，seeingthathisgainissomuchgreaterwiththeworsethanwiththebetter。Therebyyoushallalsoencourageothermentoundertakethewritingofplayswhodonowdespiseitandleaveitwhollytothosewhosecounselswillworklittlegoodtoyourrealm。
　　Forthiswritingofplaysisagreatmatter，formingasitdoesthemindsandaffectionsofmeninsuchsortthatwhatsoevertheyseedoneinshowonthestage，theywillpresentlybedoinginearnestintheworld，whichisbutalargerstage。Oflate，asyouknow，theChurchtaughtthepeoplebymeansofplays；butthepeopleflockedonlytosuchaswerefullofsuperstitiousmiraclesandbloodymartyrdoms；andsotheChurch，whichalsowasjustthenbroughtintostraitsbythepolicyofyourroyalfather，didabandonanddiscountenancetheartofplaying；andthusitfellintothehandsofpoorplayersandgreedymerchantsthathadtheirpocketstolooktoandnotthegreatnessofthisyourkingdom。ThereforenowmustyourMajestytakeupthatgoodworkthatyourChurchhathabandoned，andrestoretheartofplayingtoitsformeruseanddignity。
　　ELIZABETH。MasterShakespear：IwillspeakofthismattertotheLordTreasurer。
　　SHAKESPEAR。ThenamIundone，madam；fortherewasneveryetaLordTreasurerthatcouldfindapennyforanythingoverandabovethenecessaryexpensesofyourgovernment，saveforawarorasalaryforhisownnephew。
　　ELIZABETH。MasterShakespear：youspeaksooth；yetcannotIinanywisemendit。IdarenotoffendmyunrulyPuritansbymakingsolewdaplaceastheplayhouseapubliccharge；andtherebeathousandthingstobedoneinthisLondonofminebeforeyourpoetrycanhaveitspennyfromthegeneralpurse。Itellthee，MasterWill，itwillbethreehundredyearsandmorebeforemysubjectslearnthatmancannotlivebybreadalone，butbyeverywordthatcomethfromthemouthofthosewhomGodinspires。BythattimeyouandIwillbedustbeneaththefeetofthehorses，ifindeedtherebeanyhorsesthen，andmenbestillridinginsteadofflying。Nowitmaybethatbythenyourworkswillbedustalso。
　　SHAKESPEAR。Theywillstand，madam：fearnorforthat。
　　ELIZABETH。Itmayproveso。ButofthisIamcertain（forIknowmycountrymen）thatuntileveryothercountryintheChristianworld，eventobarbarianMuscovyandthehamletsoftheboorishGermans，haveitsplayhouseatthepubliccharge，Englandwillneveradventure。Andshewilladventurethenonlybecauseitisherdesiretobeeverinthefashion，andtodohumblyanddutifullywhatsosheseetheverybodyelsedoing。Inthemeantimeyoumustcontentyourselfasbestyoucanbytheplayingofthosetwopieceswhichyougiveoutasthemostdamnableeverwrit，butwhichyourcountrymen，Iwarnyou，willsweararethebestyouhaveeverdone。ButthisIwillsay，thatifIcouldspeakacrosstheagestoourdescendants，Ishouldheartilyrecommendthemtofulfilyourwish；fortheScottishminstrelhathwellsaidthathethatmakeththesongsofanationismightierthanhethatmakethitslaws；andthesamemaywellbetrueofplaysandinterludes。_[Theclockchimesthefirstquarter。Thewarderreturnsonhisround]。_Andnow，sir，weareuponthehourwhenitbetterbeseemsavirginqueentobeabedthantoconversealonewiththenaughtiestofhersubjects。Hothere！Whokeepswardonthequeen’slodgingstonight？
　　THEWARDER。Ido，an’tpleaseyourmajesty。
　　ELIZABETH。Seethatyoukeepitbetterinfuture。Youhaveletpassamostdangerousgallanteventotheverydoorofourroyalchamber。
　　Leadhimforth；andbringmewordwhenheissafelylockedout；forI
　　shallscarcedaredisrobeuntilthepalacegatesarebetweenus。
　　SHAKESPEAR。_[kissingherhand]_Mybodygoesthroughthegateintothedarkness，madam；butmythoughtsfollowyou。
　　ELIZABETH。How！tomybed！
　　SHAKESPEAR。No，madam，toyourprayers，inwhichIbegyoutoremembermytheatre。
　　ELIZABETH。Thatismyprayertoposterity。ForgetnotyourowntoGod；andsogoodnight，MasterWill。
　　SHAKESPEAR。Goodnight，greatElizabeth。GodsavetheQueen！
　　ELIZABETH。Amen。
　　_Exeuntseverally：shetoherchamber：he，incustodyofthewarder，tothegatenearestBlackfriars。_
　　AYOT，ST。LAWRENCE，_20thJune_1910。