Afterscoringovermycalmnessinthisgraphicwayhenoddedwisely。
  IfIhadseenthesight,heassuredme,IwouldneverforgetitaslongasIlived。Theweatherwastoobadtogivethecorpseaproperseaburial。
  Sonextdayatdawntheytookituponthepoop,coveringitsfacewithabitofbunting;hereadashortprayer,andthen,justasitwas,initsoilskinsandlongboots,theylauncheditamongstthosemountainousseasthatseemedreadyeverymomenttoswallowuptheshipherselfandtheterrifiedlivesonboardofher。
  "Thatreefedforesailsavedyou,"Ithrewin。
  "UnderGod——itdid,"heexclaimedfervently。"Itwasbyaspecialmercy,Ifirmlybelieve,thatitstoodsomeofthosehurricanesqualls。"
  "Itwasthesettingofthatsailwhich——"Ibegan。
  "God’sownhandinit,"heinterruptedme。"Nothinglesscouldhavedoneit。
  Idon’tmindtellingyouthatIhardlydaredgivetheorder。
  Itseemedimpossiblethatwecouldtouchanythingwithoutlosingit,andthenourlasthopewouldhavebeengone。"
  Theterrorofthatgalewasonhimyet。Ilethimgoonforabit,thensaid,casually——asifreturningtoaminorsubject:
  "Youwereveryanxioustogiveupyourmatetotheshorepeople,Ibelieve?"
  Hewas。Tothelaw。Hisobscuretenacityonthatpointhadinitsomethingincomprehensibleandalittleawful;something,asitwere,mystical,quiteapartfromhisanxietythatheshouldnotbesuspectedof"countenancinganydoingsofthatsort。"
  Seven-and-thirtyvirtuousyearsatsea,ofwhichovertwentyofimmaculatecommand,andthelastfifteenintheSephora,seemedtohavelaidhimundersomepitilessobligation。
  "Andyouknow,"hewenton,gropingshame-facedlyamongsthisfeelings,"Ididnotengagethatyoungfellow。Hispeoplehadsomeinterestwithmyowners。Iwasinawayforcedtotakehimon。
  Helookedverysmart,verygentlemanly,andallthat。
  Butdoyouknow——Ineverlikedhim,somehow。Iamaplainman。
  Yousee,hewasn’texactlythesortforthechiefmateofashipliketheSephora。"
  IhadbecomesoconnectedinthoughtsandimpressionswiththesecretsharerofmycabinthatIfeltasifI,personally,werebeinggiventounderstandthatI,too,wasnotthesortthatwouldhavedoneforthechiefmateofashipliketheSephora。
  Ihadnodoubtofitinmymind。
  "Notatallthestyleofman。Youunderstand,"heinsisted,superfluously,lookinghardatme。
  Ismiledurbanely。Heseemedatalossforawhile。
  "IsupposeImustreportasuicide。"
  "Begpardon?"
  "Suicide!That’swhatI’llhavetowritetomyownersdirectlyIgetin。"
  "Unlessyoumanagetorecoverhimbeforetomorrow,"
  Iassented,dispassionately……"Imean,alive。"
  HemumbledsomethingwhichIreallydidnotcatch,andIturnedmyeartohiminapuzzledmanner。Hefairlybawled:
  "Theland——Isay,themainlandisatleastsevenmilesoffmyanchorage。"
  "Aboutthat。"
  Mylackofexcitement,ofcuriosity,ofsurprise,ofanysortofpronouncedinterest,begantoarousehisdistrust。
  ButexceptforthefelicitouspretenseofdeafnessIhadnottriedtopretendanything。Ihadfeltutterlyincapableofplayingthepartofignoranceproperly,andthereforewasafraidtotry。
  Itisalsocertainthathehadbroughtsomeready-madesuspicionswithhim,andthatheviewedmypolitenessasastrangeandunnaturalphenomenon。AndyethowelsecouldIhavereceivedhim?
  Notheartily!Thatwasimpossibleforpsychologicalreasons,whichIneednotstatehere。Myonlyobjectwastokeepoffhisinquiries。Surlily?Yes,butsurlinessmighthaveprovokedapoint-blankquestion。Fromitsnoveltytohimandfromitsnature,punctiliouscourtesywasthemannerbestcalculatedtorestraintheman。
  Buttherewasthedangerofhisbreakingthroughmydefensebluntly。
  Icouldnot,Ithink,havemethimbyadirectlie,alsoforpsychological(notmoral)reasons。IfhehadonlyknownhowafraidIwasofhisputtingmyfeelingofidentitywiththeothertothetest!
  But,strangelyenough——(Ithoughtofitonlyafterwards)——
  Ibelievethathewasnotalittledisconcertedbythereversesideofthatweirdsituation,bysomethinginmethatremindedhimofthemanhewasseeking——suggestedamysterioussimilitudetotheyoungfellowhehaddistrustedanddislikedfromthefirst。
  Howeverthatmighthavebeen,thesilencewasnotveryprolonged。
  Hetookanotherobliquestep。
  "IreckonIhadnomorethanatwo-milepulltoyourship。
  Notabitmore。"
  "Andquiteenough,too,inthisawfulheat,"Isaid。
  Anotherpausefullofmistrustfollowed。Necessity,theysay,ismotherofinvention,butfear,too,isnotbarrenofingenioussuggestions。
  AndIwasafraidhewouldaskmepoint-blankfornewsofmyotherself。
  "Nicelittlesaloon,isn’tit?"Iremarked,asifnoticingforthefirsttimethewayhiseyesroamedfromonecloseddoortotheother。
  "Andverywellfittedout,too。Here,forinstance,"Icontinued,reachingoverthebackofmyseatnegligentlyandflingingthedooropen,"ismybathroom。"
  Hemadeaneagermovement,buthardlygaveitaglance。
  Igotup,shutthedoorofthebathroom,andinvitedhimtohavealookround,asifIwereveryproudofmyaccomodation。
  Hehadtoriseandbeshownround,buthewentthroughthebusinesswithoutanyraptureswhatever。
  "Andnowwe’llhavealookatmystateroom,"Ideclared,inavoiceasloudasIdaredtomakeit,crossingthecabintothestarboardsidewithpurposelyheavysteps。
  Hefollowedmeinandgazedaround。Myintelligentdoublehadvanished。
  Iplayedmypart。
  "Veryconvenient——isn’tit?"
  Verynice。Verycomf……"Hedidn’tfinishandwentoutbrusquelyasiftoescapefromsomeunrighteouswilesofmine。
  Butitwasnottobe。Ihadbeentoofrightenednottofeelvengeful;
  IfeltIhadhimontherun,andImeanttokeephimontherun。
  Mypoliteinsistencemusthavehadsomethingmenacinginit,becausehegaveinsuddenly。AndIdidnotlethimoffasingleitem;
  mate’sroom,pantry,storerooms,theverysaillockerwhichwasalsounderthepoop——hehadtolookintothemall。WhenatlastI
  showedhimoutonthequarter-deckhedrewalong,spiritlesssigh,andmumbleddismallythathemustreallybegoingbacktohisshipnow。
  Idesiredmymate,whohadjoinedus,toseetothecaptain’sboat。
  Themanofwhiskersgaveablastonthewhistlewhichheusedtowearhangingroundhisneck,andyelled,"Sephora’saway!"
  Mydoubledownthereinmycabinmusthaveheard,andcertainlycouldnotfeelmorerelievedthanI。Fourfellowscamerunningoutfromsomewhereforwardandwentovertheside,whilemyownmen,appearingondecktoo,linedtherail。Iescortedmyvisitortothegangwayceremoniously,andnearlyoverdidit。
  Hewasatenaciousbeast。Ontheveryladderhelingered,andinthatunique,guiltilyconscientiousmannerofstickingtothepoint:
  "Isay……you……youdon’tthinkthat——"
  Icoveredhisvoiceloudly:
  "Certainlynot……Iamdelighted。Good-by。"
  Ihadanideaofwhathemeanttosay,andjustsavedmyselfbytheprivilegeofdefectivehearing。Hewastooshakengenerallytoinsist,butmymate,closewitnessofthatparting,lookedmystifiedandhisfacetookonathoughtfulcast。
  AsIdidnotwanttoappearasifIwishedtoavoidallcommunicationwithmyofficers,hehadtheopportunitytoaddressme。
  "Seemsaveryniceman。Hisboat’screwtoldourchapsaveryextraordinarystory,ifwhatIamtoldbythestewardistrue。
  Isupposeyouhaditfromthecaptain,sir?"
  "Yes。Ihadastoryfromthecaptain。"
  "Averyhorribleaffair——isn’tit,sir?"
  "Itis。"
  "BeatsallthesetaleswehearaboutmurdersinYankeeships。"
  "Idon’tthinkitbeatsthem。Idon’tthinkitresemblesthemintheleast。"
  "Blessmysoul——youdon’tsayso!ButofcourseI’venoacquaintancewhateverwithAmericanships,notIsoIcouldn’tgoagainstyourknowledge。It’shorribleenoughforme……Butthequeerestpartisthatthosefellowsseemedtohavesomeideathemanwashiddenaboardhere。Theyhadreally。
  Didyoueverhearofsuchathing?"
  "Preposterous——isn’tit?"
  Wewerewalkingtoandfroathwartthequarter-deck。Nooneofthecrewforwardcouldbeseen(thedaywasSunday),andthematepursued:
  "Therewassomelittledisputeaboutit。Ourchapstookoffense。
  `Asifwewouldharborathinglikethat,’theysaid。
  `Wouldn’tyouliketolookforhiminourcoal-hole?’Quiteatiff。
  Buttheymadeitupintheend。Isupposehediddrownhimself。
  Don’tyou,sir?"
  "Idon’tsupposeanything。"
  "Youhavenodoubtinthematter,sir?"
  "Nonewhatever。"
  Ilefthimsuddenly。IfeltIwasproducingabadimpression,butwithmydoubledownthereitwasmosttryingtobeondeck。Anditwasalmostastryingtobebelow。Altogetheranerve-tryingsituation。
  ButonthewholeIfeltlesstornintwowhenIwaswithhim。
  TherewasnooneinthewholeshipwhomIdaredtakeintomyconfidence。Sincethehandshadgottoknowhisstory,itwouldhavebeenimpossibletopasshimoffforanyoneelse,andanaccidentaldiscoverywastobedreadednowmorethanever……
  Thestewardbeingengagedinlayingthetablefordinner,wecouldtalkonlywithoureyeswhenIfirstwentdown。
  Laterintheafternoonwehadacautioustryatwhispering。
  TheSundayquietnessoftheshipwasagainstus;thestillnessofairandwateraroundherwasagainstus;theelements,themenwereagainstus——everythingwasagainstusinoursecretpartnership;timeitself——forthiscouldnotgoonforever。
  TheverytrustinProvidencewas,Isuppose,deniedtohisguilt。
  ShallIconfessthatthisthoughtcastmedownverymuch?
  Andastothechapterofaccidentswhichcountsforsomuchinthebookofsuccess,Icouldonlyhopethatitwasclosed。
  Forwhatfavorableaccidentcouldbeexpected?
  "Didyouheareverything?"weremyfirstwordsassoonaswetookupourpositionsidebyside,leaningovermybedplace。
  Hehad。Andtheproofofitwashisearnestwhisper,"Themantoldyouhehardlydaredtogivetheorder。"
  Iunderstoodthereferencetobetothatsavingforesail。
  "Yes。Hewasafraidofitbeinglostinthesetting。"
  "Iassureyouhenevergavetheorder。Hemaythinkhedid,buthenevergaveit。Hestoodtherewithmeonthebreakofthepoopafterthemaintopsailblewaway,andwhimperedaboutourlasthope——
  positivelywhimperedaboutitandnothingelse——andthenightcomingon!
  Tohearone’sskippergoonlikethatinsuchweatherwasenoughtodriveanyfellowoutofhismind。Itworkedmeupintoasortofdesperation。Ijusttookitintomyownhandsandwentawayfromhim,boiling,and——Butwhat’stheusetellingyou?
  YOUknow!……DoyouthinkthatifIhadnotbeenprettyfiercewiththemIshouldhavegotthementodoanything?NotIt!
  Thebo’s’nperhaps?Perhaps!Itwasn’taheavysea——itwasaseagonemad!Isupposetheendoftheworldwillbesomethinglikethat;
  andamanmayhavethehearttoseeitcomingonceandbedonewithit——
  buttohavetofaceitdayafterday——Idon’tblameanybody。
  Iwaspreciouslittlebetterthantherest。Only——Iwasanofficerofthatoldcoalwagon,anyhow——"
  "Iquiteunderstand,"Iconveyedthatsincereassuranceintohisear。
  Hewasoutofbreathwithwhispering;Icouldhearhimpantslightly。
  Itwasallverysimple。Thesamestrung-upforcewhichhadgiventwenty-fourmenachance,atleast,fortheirlives,had,inasortofrecoil,crushedanunworthymutinousexistence。
  ButIhadnoleisuretoweighthemeritsofthematter——
  footstepsinthesaloon,aheavyknock。"There’senoughwindtogetunderwaywith,sir。"Herewasthecallofanewclaimuponmythoughtsandevenuponmyfeelings。
  "Turnthehandsup,"Icriedthroughthedoor。"I’llbeondeckdirectly。"
  Iwasgoingouttomaketheacquaintanceofmyship。
  BeforeIleftthecabinoureyesmet——theeyesoftheonlytwostrangersonboard。Ipointedtotherecessedpartwherethelittlecampstoolawaitedhimandlaidmyfingeronmylips。
  Hemadeagesture——somewhatvague——alittlemysterious,accompaniedbyafaintsmile,asifofregret。
  Thisisnottheplacetoenlargeuponthesensationsofamanwhofeelsforthefirsttimeashipmoveunderhisfeettohisownindependentword。Inmycasetheywerenotunalloyed。
  Iwasnotwhollyalonewithmycommand;fortherewasthatstrangerinmycabin。Orrather,Iwasnotcompletelyandwhollywithher。
  Partofmewasabsent。Thatmentalfeelingofbeingintwoplacesatonceaffectedmephysicallyasifthemoodofsecrecyhadpenetratedmyverysoul。Beforeanhourhadelapsedsincetheshiphadbeguntomove,havingoccasiontoaskthemate(hestoodbymyside)totakeacompassbearingofthepagoda,Icaughtmyselfreachinguptohisearinwhispers。
  IsayIcaughtmyself,butenoughhadescapedtostartletheman。
  Ican’tdescribeitotherwisethanbysayingthatheshied。
  Agrave,preoccupiedmanner,asthoughhewereinpossessionofsomeperplexingintelligence,didnotleavehimhenceforth。
  AlittlelaterImovedawayfromtherailtolookatthecompasswithsuchastealthygaitthatthehelmsmannoticedit——
  andIcouldnothelpnoticingtheunusualroundnessofhiseyes。
  Thesearetriflinginstances,thoughit’stonocommander’sadvantagetobesuspectedofludicrouseccentricities。
  ButIwasalsomoreseriouslyaffected。Therearetoaseamancertainwords,gestures,thatshouldingivenconditionscomeasnaturally,asinstinctivelyasthewinkingofamenacedeye。
  Acertainordershouldspringontohislipswithoutthinking;
  acertainsignshouldgetitselfmade,sotospeak,withoutreflection。Butallunconsciousalertnesshadabandonedme。
  Ihadtomakeaneffortofwilltorecallmyselfback(fromthecabin)totheconditionsofthemoment。
  IfeltthatIwasappearinganirresolutecommandertothosepeoplewhowerewatchingmemoreorlesscritically。
  And,besides,therewerethescares。Ontheseconddayout,forinstance,comingoffthedeckintheafternoon(Ihadstrawslippersonmybarefeet)Istoppedattheopenpantrydoorandspoketothesteward。Hewasdoingsomethingtherewithhisbacktome。
  Atthesoundofmyvoicehenearlyjumpedoutofhisskin,asthesayingis,andincidentallybrokeacup。
  "Whatonearth’sthematterwithyou?"Iasked,astonished。
  Hewasextremelyconfused。"Begyourpardon,sir。Imadesureyouwereinyourcabin。"
  "YouseeIwasn’t。"
  "No,sir。IcouldhaveswornIhadheardyoumovingintherenotamomentago。It’smostextraordinary……verysorry,sir。"
  Ipassedonwithaninwardshudder。IwassoidentifiedwithmysecretdoublethatIdidnotevenmentionthefactinthosescanty,fearfulwhispersweexchanged。
  Isupposehehadmadesomeslightnoiseofsomekindorother。
  Itwouldhavebeenmiraculousifhehadn’tatonetimeoranother。
  Andyet,haggardasheappeared,helookedalwaysperfectlyself-controlled,morethancalm——almostinvulnerable。
  Onmysuggestionheremainedalmostentirelyinthebathroom,which,uponthewhole,wasthesafestplace。
  Therecouldbereallynoshadowofanexcuseforanyoneeverwantingtogointhere,oncethestewardhaddonewithit。
  Itwasaverytinyplace。Sometimeshereclinedonthefloor,hislegsbent,hisheadsustainedononeelbow。
  AtothersIwouldfindhimonthecampstool,sittinginhisgraysleepingsuitandwithhiscroppeddarkhairlikeapatient,unmovedconvict。AtnightIwouldsmugglehimintomybedplace,andwewouldwhispertogether,withtheregularfootfallsoftheofficerofthewatchpassingandrepassingoverourheads。
  Itwasaninfinitelymiserabletime。Itwasluckythatsometinsoffinepreserveswerestowedinalockerinmystateroom;
  hardbreadIcouldalwaysgetholdof;andsohelivedonstewedchicken,PATEDEFOIEGRAS,asparagus,cookedoysters,sardines——
  onallsortsofabominableshamdelicaciesoutoftins。
  Myearly-morningcoffeehealwaysdrank;anditwasallI
  dareddoforhiminthatrespect。
  Everydaytherewasthehorriblemaneuveringtogothroughsothatmyroomandthenthebathroomshouldbedoneintheusualway。Icametohatethesightofthesteward,toabhorthevoiceofthatharmlessman。
  Ifeltthatitwashewhowouldbringonthedisasterofdiscovery。
  Ithunglikeaswordoverourheads。
  Thefourthdayout,Ithink(wewerethenworkingdowntheeastsideoftheGulfofSiam,tackfortack,inlightwindsandsmoothwater)——
  thefourthday,Isay,ofthismiserablejugglingwiththeunavoidable,aswesatatoureveningmeal,thatman,whoseslightestmovementIdreaded,afterputtingdownthedishesranupondeckbusily。
  Thiscouldnotbedangerous。Presentlyhecamedownagain;
  andthenitappearedthathehadrememberedacoatofminewhichIhadthrownoverarailtodryafterhavingbeenwettedinashowerwhichhadpassedovertheshipintheafternoon。
  SittingstolidlyattheheadofthetableIbecameterrifiedatthesightofthegarmentonhisarm。Ofcoursehemadeformydoor。
  Therewasnotimetolose。
  "Steward,"Ithundered。MynervesweresoshakenthatI
  couldnotgovernmyvoiceandconcealmyagitation。
  Thiswasthesortofthingthatmademyterrificallywhiskeredmatetaphisforeheadwithhisforefinger。
  Ihaddetectedhimusingthatgesturewhiletalkingondeckwithaconfidentialairtothecarpenter。Itwastoofartohearaword,butIhadnodoubtthatthispantomimecouldonlyrefertothestrangenewcaptain。
  "Yes,sir,"thepale-facedstewardturnedresignedlytome。
  Itwasthismaddeningcourseofbeingshoutedat,checkedwithoutrhymeorreason,arbitrarilychasedoutofmycabin,suddenlycalledintoit,sentflyingoutofhispantryonincomprehensibleerrands,thataccountedforthegrowingwretchednessofhisexpression。
  "Whereareyougoingwiththatcoat?"
  "Toyourroom,sir。"
  "Isthereanothershowercoming?"
  "I’msureIdon’tknow,sir。ShallIgoupagainandsee,sir?"
  "No!nevermind。"
  Myobjectwasattained,asofcoursemyotherselfintherewouldhaveheardeverythingthatpassed。Duringthisinterludemytwoofficersneverraisedtheireyesofftheirrespectiveplates;butthelipofthatconfoundedcub,thesecondmate,quiveredvisibly。
  Iexpectedthestewardtohookmycoatonandcomeoutatonce。
  Hewasveryslowaboutit;butIdominatedmynervousnesssufficientlynottoshoutafterhim。SuddenlyIbecameaware(itcouldbeheardplainlyenough)thatthefellowforsomereasonorotherwasopeningthedoorofthebathroom。Itwastheend。
  Theplacewasliterallynotbigenoughtoswingacatin。
  MyvoicediedinmythroatandIwentstonyallover。
  Iexpectedtohearayellofsurpriseandterror,andmadeamovement,buthadnotthestrengthtogetonmylegs。
  Everythingremainedstill。Hadmysecondselftakenthepoorwretchbythethroat?Idon’tknowwhatIcouldhavedonenextmomentifIhadnotseenthestewardcomeoutofmyroom,closethedoor,andthenstandquietlybythesideboard。
  "Saved,"Ithought。"But,no!Lost!Gone!Hewasgone!"
  Ilaidmyknifeandforkdownandleanedbackinmychair。Myheadswam。
  Afterawhile,whensufficientlyrecoveredtospeakinasteadyvoice,Iinstructedmymatetoputtheshiproundateighto’clockhimself。
  "Iwon’tcomeondeck,"Iwenton。"IthinkI’llturnin,andunlessthewindshiftsIdon’twanttobedisturbedbeforemidnight。
  Ifeelabitseedy。"
  "Youdidlookmiddlingbadalittlewhileago,"thechiefmateremarkedwithoutshowinganygreatconcern。
  Theybothwentout,andIstaredatthestewardclearingthetable。
  Therewasnothingtobereadonthatwretchedman’sface。
  Butwhydidheavoidmyeyes,Iaskedmyself。ThenIthoughtI
  shouldliketohearthesoundofhisvoice。
  "Steward!"
  "Sir!"Startledasusual。
  "Wheredidyouhangupthatcoat?"
  "Inthebathroom,sir。"Theusualanxioustone。
  "It’snotquitedryyet,sir。"
  ForsometimelongerIsatinthecuddy。Hadmydoublevanishedashehadcome?Butofhiscomingtherewasanexplanation,whereashisdisappearancewouldbeinexplicable……Iwentslowlyintomydarkroom,shutthedoor,lightedthelamp,andforatimedarednotturnround。WhenatlastIdidI
  sawhimstandingbolt-uprightinthenarrowrecessedpart。
  ItwouldnotbetruetosayIhadashock,butanirresistibledoubtofhisbodilyexistenceflittedthroughmymind。
  Canitbe,Iaskedmyself,thatheisnotvisibletoothereyesthanmine?Itwaslikebeinghaunted。Motionless,withagraveface,heraisedhishandsslightlyatmeinagesturewhichmeantclearly,"Heavens!whatanarrowescape!"
  Narrowindeed。IthinkIhadcomecreepingquietlyasnearinsanityasanymanwhohasnotactuallygoneovertheborder。
  Thatgesturerestrainedme,sotospeak。
  Thematewiththeterrificwhiskerswasnowputtingtheshipontheothertack。InthemomentofprofoundsilencewhichfollowsuponthehandsgoingtotheirstationsIheardonthepoophisraisedvoice:"Hardalee!"andthedistantshoutoftheorderrepeatedonthemain-deck。Thesails,inthatlightbreeze,madebutafaintflutteringnoise。
  Itceased。Theshipwascomingroundslowly:Iheldmybreathintherenewedstillnessofexpectation;onewouldn’thavethoughtthattherewasasinglelivingsoulonherdecks。
  Asuddenbriskshout,"Mainsailhaul!"brokethespell,andinthenoisycriesandrushoverheadofthemenrunningawaywiththemainbracewetwo,downinmycabin,cametogetherinourusualpositionbythebedplace。
  Hedidnotwaitformyquestion。"Iheardhimfumblinghereandjustmanagedtosquatmyselfdowninthebath,"hewhisperedtome。
  "Thefellowonlyopenedthedoorandputhisarmintohangthecoatup。
  Allthesame——"
  "Ineverthoughtofthat,"Iwhisperedback,evenmoreappalledthanbeforeattheclosenessoftheshave,andmarvelingatthatsomethingunyieldinginhischaracterwhichwascarryinghimthroughsofinely。Therewasnoagitationinhiswhisper。
  Whoeverwasbeingdrivendistracted,itwasnothe。Hewassane。
  Andtheproofofhissanitywascontinuedwhenhetookupthewhisperingagain。
  "Itwouldneverdoformetocometolifeagain。"
  Itwassomethingthataghostmighthavesaid。Butwhathewasalludingtowashisoldcaptain’sreluctantadmissionofthetheoryofsuicide。
  Itwouldobviouslyservehisturn——ifIhadunderstoodatalltheviewwhichseemedtogoverntheunalterablepurposeofhisaction。
  "YoumustmaroonmeassoonaseveryoucangetamongsttheseislandsofftheCambodgeshore,"hewenton。
  "Maroonyou!Wearenotlivinginaboy’sadventuretale,"Iprotested。
  Hisscornfulwhisperingtookmeup。
  "Wearen’tindeed!There’snothingofaboy’staleinthis。
  Butthere’snothingelseforit。Iwantnomore。
  Youdon’tsupposeIamafraidofwhatcanbedonetome?
  Prisonorgallowsorwhatevertheymayplease。
  Butyoudon’tseemecomingbacktoexplainsuchthingstoanoldfellowinawigandtwelverespectabletradesmen,doyou?WhatcantheyknowwhetherIamguiltyornot——
  orofWHATIamguilty,either?That’smyaffair。
  WhatdoestheBiblesay?`Drivenoffthefaceoftheearth。’
  Verywell,Iamoffthefaceoftheearthnow。AsIcameatnightsoIshallgo。"
  "Impossible!"Imurmured。"Youcan’t。"
  "Can’t?……NotnakedlikeasoulontheDayofJudgment。
  Ishallfreezeontothissleepingsuit。TheLastDayisnotyet——
  and……youhaveunderstoodthoroughly。Didn’tyou?"
  Ifeltsuddenlyashamedofmyself。ImaysaytrulythatIunderstood——
  andmyhesitationinlettingthatmanswimawayfrommyship’ssidehadbeenamereshamsentiment,asortofcowardice。
  "Itcan’tbedonenowtillnextnight,"Ibreathedout。
  "Theshipisontheoff-shoretackandthewindmayfailus。"
  "AslongasIknowthatyouunderstand,"hewhispered。
  "Butofcourseyoudo。It’sagreatsatisfactiontohavegotsomebodytounderstand。Youseemtohavebeenthereonpurpose。"
  Andinthesamewhisper,asifwetwowheneverwetalkedhadtosaythingstoeachotherwhichwerenotfitfortheworldtohear,headded,"It’sverywonderful。"
  Weremainedsidebysidetalkinginoursecretway——
  butsometimessilentorjustexchangingawhisperedwordortwoatlongintervals。Andasusualhestaredthroughtheport。
  Abreathofwindcamenowandagainintoourfaces。
  Theshipmighthavebeenmooredindock,sogentlyandonanevenkeelsheslippedthroughthewater,thatdidnotmurmurevenatourpassage,shadowyandsilentlikeaphantomsea。
  AtmidnightIwentondeck,andtomymate’sgreatsurpriseputtheshiproundontheothertack。
  Histerriblewhiskersflittedroundmeinsilentcriticism。
  Icertainlyshouldnothavedoneitifithadbeenonlyaquestionofgettingoutofthatsleepygulfasquicklyaspossible。
  Ibelievehetoldthesecondmate,whorelievedhim,thatitwasagreatwantofjudgment。Theotheronlyyawned。
  Thatintolerablecubshuffledaboutsosleepilyandlolledagainsttherailsinsuchaslack,improperfashionthatI
  camedownonhimsharply。
  "Aren’tyouproperlyawakeyet?"
  "Yes,sir!Iamawake。"
  "Well,then,begoodenoughtoholdyourselfasifyouwere。
  Andkeepalookout。Ifthere’sanycurrentwe’llbeclosingwithsomeislandsbeforedaylight。"
  Theeastsideofthegulfisfringedwithislands,somesolitary,othersingroups。Onethebluebackgroundofthehighcoasttheyseemtofloatonsilverypatchesofcalmwater,aridandgray,ordarkgreenandroundedlikeclumpsofevergreenbushes,withthelargerones,amileortwolong,showingtheoutlinesofridges,ribsofgrayrockunderthedarkmantleofmattedleafage。
  Unknowntotrade,totravel,almosttogeography,themanneroflifetheyharborisanunsolvedsecret。Theremustbevillages——
  settlementsoffishermenatleast——onthelargestofthem,andsomecommunicationwiththeworldisprobablykeptupbynativecraft。
  Butallthatforenoon,asweheadedforthem,fannedalongbythefaintestofbreezes,IsawnosignofmanorcanoeinthefieldofthetelescopeIkeptonpointingatthescatteredgroup。
  AtnoonIhavenoordersforachangeofcourse,andthemate’swhiskersbecamemuchconcernedandseemedtobeofferingthemselvesundulytomynotice。AtlastIsaid:
  "Iamgoingtostandrightin。Quitein——asfarasIcantakeher。"
  Thestareofextremesurpriseimpartedanairofferocityalsotohiseyes,andhelookedtrulyterrificforamoment。
  "We’renotdoingwellinthemiddleofthegulf,"Icontinued,casually。
  "Iamgoingtolookforthelandbreezestonight。"
  "Blessmysoul!Doyoumean,sir,inthedarkamongstthelotofallthemislandsandreefsandshoals?"
  "Well——ifthereareanyregularlandbreezesatallonthiscoastonemustgetcloseinshoretofindthem,mustn’tone?"
  "Blessmysoul!"heexclaimedagainunderhisbreath。
  Allthatafternoonheworeadreamy,contemplativeappearancewhichinhimwasamarkofperplexity。AfterdinnerI
  wentintomystateroomasifImeanttotakesomerest。
  Therewetwobentourdarkheadsoverahalf-unrolledchartlyingonmybed。
  "There,"Isaid。"It’sgottobeKoh-ring。I’vebeenlookingatiteversincesunrise。Ithasgottwohillsandalowpoint。
  Itmustbeinhabited。Andonthecoastoppositethereiswhatlookslikethemouthofabiggishriver——withsometowns,nodoubt,notfarup。
  It’sthebestchanceforyouthatIcansee。"
  "Anything。Koh-ringletitbe。"
  Helookedthoughtfullyatthechartasifsurveyingchancesanddistancesfromaloftyheight——andfollowingwithhiseyeshisownfigurewanderingontheblanklandofCochin-China,andthenpassingoffthatpieceofpapercleanoutofsightintounchartedregions。
  Anditwasasiftheshiphadtwocaptainstoplanhercourseforher。
  IhadbeensoworriedandrestlessrunningupanddownthatI
  hadnothadthepatiencetodressthatday。Ihadremainedinmysleepingsuit,withstrawslippersandasoftfloppyhat。
  Theclosenessoftheheatinthegulfhadbeenmostoppressive,andthecrewwereusedtoseeingmewanderinginthatairyattire。
  "Shewillclearthesouthpointassheheadsnow,"Iwhisperedintohisear。
  "Goodnessonlyknowswhen,though,butcertainlyafterdark。
  I’lledgeherintohalfamile,asfarasImaybeabletojudgeinthedark——"
  "Becareful,"hemurmured,warningly——andIrealizedsuddenlythatallmyfuture,theonlyfutureforwhichIwasfit,wouldperhapsgoirretrievablytopiecesinanymishaptomyfirstcommand。
  Icouldnotstopamomentlongerintheroom。Imotionedhimtogetoutofsightandmademywayonthepoop。Thatunplayfulcubhadthewatch。
  Iwalkedupanddownforawhilethinkingthingsout,thenbeckonedhimover。
  "Sendacoupleofhandstoopenthetwoquarter-deckports,"
  Isaid,mildly。
  Heactuallyhadtheimpudence,orelsesoforgothimselfinhiswonderatsuchanincomprehensibleorder,astorepeat:
  "Openthequarter-deckports!Whatfor,sir?"
  "TheonlyreasonyouneedconcernyourselfaboutisbecauseItellyoutodoso。Havethemopenwideandfastenedproperly。"
  Hereddenedandwentoff,butIbelievemadesomejeeringremarktothecarpenterastothesensiblepracticeofventilatingaship’squarter-deck。Iknowhepoppedintothemate’scabintoimpartthefacttohimbecausethewhiskerscameondeck,asitwerebychance,andstoleglancesatmefrombelow——
  forsignsoflunacyordrunkenness,Isuppose。
  Alittlebeforesupper,feelingmorerestlessthanever,Irejoined,foramoment,mysecondself。Andtofindhimsittingsoquietlywassurprising,likesomethingagainstnature,inhuman。
  Idevelopedmyplaninahurriedwhisper。
  "IshallstandinascloseasIdareandthenputherround。
  Iwillpresentlyfindmeanstosmuggleyououtofhereintothesaillocker,whichcommunicateswiththelobby。
  Butthereisanopening,asortofsquareforhaulingthesailsout,whichgivesstraightonthequarter-deckandwhichisneverclosedinfineweather,soastogiveairtothesails。
  Whentheship’swayisdeadenedinstaysandallthehandsareaftatthemainbracesyouwillhaveaclearroadtoslipoutandgetoverboardthroughtheopenquarter-deckport。
  I’vehadthembothfastenedup。Usearope’sendtoloweryourselfintothewatersoastoavoidasplash——youknow。
  Itcouldbeheardandcausesomebeastlycomplication。"
  Hekeptsilentforawhile,thenwhispered,"Iunderstand。"
  "Iwon’tbetheretoseeyougo,"Ibeganwithaneffort。
  "Therest……IonlyhopeIhaveunderstood,too。"
  "Youhave。Fromfirsttolast"——andforthefirsttimethereseemedtobeafaltering,somethingstrainedinhiswhisper。
  Hecaughtholdofmyarm,buttheringingofthesupperbellmademestart。Hedidn’tthough;heonlyreleasedhisgrip。
  AftersupperIdidn’tcomebelowagaintillwellpasteighto’clock。Thefaint,steadybreezewasloadedwithdew;andthewet,darkenedsailsheldalltherewasofpropellingpowerinit。
  Thenight,clearandstarry,sparkleddarkly,andtheopaque,lightlesspatchesshiftingslowlyagainstthelowstarswerethedriftingislets。Ontheportbowtherewasabigonemoredistantandshadowilyimposingbythegreatspaceofskyiteclipsed。
  OnopeningthedoorIhadabackviewofmyveryownselflookingatachart。
  Hehadcomeoutoftherecessandwasstandingnearthetable。
  "Quitedarkenough,"Iwhispered。
  Hesteppedbackandleanedagainstmybedwithalevel,quietglance。
  Isatonthecouch。Wehadnothingtosaytoeachother。
  Overourheadstheofficerofthewatchmovedhereandthere。
  ThenIheardhimmovequickly。Iknewwhatthatmeant。
  Hewasmakingforthecompanion;andpresentlyhisvoicewasoutsidemydoor。
  "Wearedrawinginprettyfast,sir。Landlooksratherclose。"
  "Verywell,"Ianswered。"Iamcomingondeckdirectly。"
  Iwaitedtillhewasgoneoutofthecuddy,thenrose。Mydoublemovedtoo。
  Thetimehadcometoexchangeourlastwhispers,forneitherofuswasevertoheareachother’snaturalvoice。
  "Lookhere!"Iopenedadrawerandtookoutthreesovereigns。
  "Takethisanyhow。I’vegotsixandI’dgiveyouthelot,onlyImustkeepalittlemoneytobuysomefruitandvegetablesforthecrewfromnativeboatsaswegothroughSundaStraits。"
  Heshookhishead。
  "Takeit,"Iurgedhim,whisperingdesperately。
  "Noonecantellwhat——"
  Hesmiledandslappedmeaninglytheonlypocketofthesleepingjacket。
  Itwasnotsafe,certainly。ButIproducedalargeoldsilkhandkerchiefofmine,andtyingthethreepiecesofgoldinacorner,presseditonhim。
  Hewastouched,Isupposed,becausehetookitatlastandtieditquicklyroundhiswaistunderthejacket,onhisbareskin。
  Oureyesmet;severalsecondselapsed,till,ourglancesstillmingled,Iextendedmyhandandturnedthelampout。
  ThenIpassedthroughthecuddy,leavingthedoorofmyroomwideopen……"Steward!"
  Hewasstilllingeringinthepantryinthegreatnessofhiszeal,givingarub-uptoaplatedcruetstandthelastthingbeforegoingtobed。
  Beingcarefulnottowakeupthemate,whoseroomwasopposite,Ispokeinanundertone。
  Helookedroundanxiously。"Sir!"
  "Canyougetmealittlehotwaterfromthegalley?"
  "Iamafraid,sir,thegalleyfire’sbeenoutforsometimenow。"
  "Goandsee。"
  Heflewupthestairs。
  "Now,"Iwhispered,loudly,intothesaloon——tooloudly,perhaps,butIwasafraidIcouldn’tmakeasound。
  Hewasbymysideinaninstant——thedoublecaptainslippedpastthestairs——throughatinydarkpassage……aslidingdoor。
  Wewereinthesaillocker,scramblingonourkneesoverthesails。
  Asuddenthoughtstruckme。Isawmyselfwanderingbarefooted,bareheaded,thesunbeatingonmydarkpoll。
  Isnatchedoffmyfloppyhatandtriedhurriedlyinthedarktoramitonmyotherself。Hedodgedandfendedoffsilently。
  Iwonderwhathethoughthadcometomebeforeheunderstoodandsuddenlydesisted。Ourhandsmetgropingly,lingeredunitedinasteady,motionlessclaspforasecond……Nowordwasbreathedbyeitherofuswhentheyseparated。
  Iwasstandingquietlybythepantrydoorwhenthestewardreturned。
  "Sorry,sir。Kettlebarelywarm。ShallIlightthespiritlamp?"
  "Nevermind。"
  Icameoutondeckslowly。Itwasnowamatterofconsciencetoshavethelandascloseaspossible——fornowhemustgooverboardwhenevertheshipwasputinstays。Must!Therecouldbenogoingbackforhim。AfteramomentIwalkedovertoleewardandmyheartflewintomymouthatthenearnessofthelandonthebow。
  UnderanyothercircumstancesIwouldnothaveheldonaminutelonger。
  Thesecondmatehadfollowedmeanxiously。
  IlookedontillIfeltIcouldcommandmyvoice。
  "Shewillweather,"Isaidtheninaquiettone。
  "Areyougoingtotrythat,sir?"hestammeredoutincredulously。
  Itooknonoticeofhimandraisedmytonejustenoughtobeheardbythehelmsman。
  "Keephergoodfull。"
  "Goodfull,sir。"
  Thewindfannedmycheek,thesailsslept,theworldwassilent。
  Thestrainofwatchingthedarkloomofthelandgrowbiggeranddenserwastoomuchforme。Ihadshutmyeyes——becausetheshipmustgocloser。
  Shemust!Thestillnesswasintolerable。Werewestandingstill?
  WhenIopenedmyeyesthesecondviewstartedmyheartwithathump。
  TheblacksouthernhillofKoh-ringseemedtohangrightovertheshiplikeatoweringfragmentofeverlastingnight。
  Onthatenormousmassofblacknesstherewasnotagleamtobeseen,notasoundtobeheard。Itwasglidingirresistiblytowardsusandyetseemedalreadywithinreachofthehand。
  Isawthevaguefiguresofthewatchgroupedinthewaist,gazinginawedsilence。
  "Areyougoingon,sir?"inquiredanunsteadyvoiceatmyelbow。
  Iignoredit。Ihadtogoon。
  "Keepherfull。Don’tcheckherway。Thatwon’tdonow,"
  Isaidwarningly。
  "Ican’tseethesailsverywell,"thehelmsmanansweredme,instrange,quaveringtones。
  Wasshecloseenough?Alreadyshewas,Iwon’tsayintheshadowoftheland,butintheveryblacknessofit,alreadyswallowedupasitwere,gonetooclosetoberecalled,gonefrommealtogether。
  "Givethemateacall,"Isaidtotheyoungmanwhostoodatmyelbowasstillasdeath。"Andturnallhandsup。"
  Mytonehadaborrowedloudnessreverberatedfromtheheightoftheland。
  Severalvoicescriedouttogether:"Weareallondeck,sir。"
  Thenstillnessagain,withthegreatshadowglidingcloser,toweringhigher,withoutalight,withoutasound。
  SuchahushhadfallenontheshipthatshemighthavebeenabarkofthedeadfloatinginslowlyundertheverygateofErebus。
  "MyGod!Wherearewe?"
  Itwasthematemoaningatmyelbow。Hewasthunderstruck,andasitweredeprivedofthemoralsupportofhiswhiskers。
  Heclappedhishandsandabsolutelycriedout,"Lost!"
  "Bequiet,"Isaid,sternly。
  Heloweredhistone,butIsawtheshadowygestureofhisdespair。
  "Whatarewedoinghere?"
  "Lookingforthelandwind。"
  Hemadeasiftotearhishair,andaddressedmerecklessly。
  "Shewillnevergetout。Youhavedoneit,sir。Iknewit’dendinsomethinglikethis。Shewillneverweather,andyouaretooclosenowtostay。
  She’lldriftashorebeforeshe’sround。OmyGod!"
  Icaughthisarmashewasraisingittobatterhispoordevotedhead,andshookitviolently。
  "She’sashorealready,"hewailed,tryingtotearhimselfaway。
  "Isshe?……Keepgoodfullthere!"
  "Goodfull,sir,"criedthehelmsmaninafrightened,thin,childlikevoice。
  Ihadn’tletgothemate’sarmandwentonshakingit。"Readyabout,doyouhear?Yougoforward"——shake——"andstopthere"——shake——"andholdyournoise"——shake——"andseethesehead-sheetsproperlyoverhauled"——
  shake,shake——shake。
  AndallthetimeIdarednotlooktowardsthelandlestmyheartshouldfailme。Ireleasedmygripatlastandheranforwardasiffleeingfordearlife。
  Iwonderedwhatmydoublethereinthesaillockerthoughtofthiscommotion。Hewasabletoheareverything——andperhapshewasabletounderstandwhy,onmyconscience,ithadtobethusclose——noless。
  Myfirstorder"Hardalee!"re-echoedominouslyunderthetoweringshadowofKoh-ringasifIhadshoutedinamountaingorge。
  AndthenIwatchedthelandintently。Inthatsmoothwaterandlightwinditwasimpossibletofeeltheshipcoming-to。No!
  Icouldnotfeelher。Andmysecondselfwasmakingnowreadytoshipoutandlowerhimselfoverboard。Perhapshewasgonealready……?
  Thegreatblackmassbroodingoverourverymastheadsbegantopivotawayfromtheship’ssidesilently。AndnowIforgotthesecretstrangerreadytodepart,andrememberedonlythatIwasatotalstrangertotheship。
  Ididnotknowher。Wouldshedoit?Howwasshetobehandled?
  Iswungthemainyardandwaitedhelplessly。Shewasperhapsstopped,andherveryfatehunginthebalance,withtheblackmassofKoh-ringlikethegateoftheeverlastingnighttoweringoverhertaffrail。Whatwouldshedonow?Hadshewayonheryet?
  Isteppedtothesideswiftly,andontheshadowywaterIcouldseenothingexceptafaintphosphorescentflashrevealingtheglassysmoothnessofthesleepingsurface。Itwasimpossibletotell——
  andIhadnotlearnedyetthefeelofmyship。Wasshemoving?
  WhatIneededwassomethingeasilyseen,apieceofpaper,whichIcouldthrowoverboardandwatch。Ihadnothingonme。
  TorundownforitIdidn’tdare。Therewasnotime。
  Allatoncemystrained,yearningstaredistinguishedawhiteobjectfloatingwithinayardoftheship’sside。
  Whiteontheblackwater。Aphosphorescentflashpassedunderit。
  Whatwasthatthing?……Irecognizedmyownfloppyhat。
  Itmusthavefallenoffhishead……andhedidn’tbother。
  NowIhadwhatIwanted——thesavingmarkformyeyes。
  ButIhardlythoughtofmyotherself,nowgonefromtheship,tobehiddenforeverfromallfriendlyfaces,tobeafugitiveandavagabondontheearth,withnobrandofthecurseonhissaneforeheadtostayaslayinghand……tooproudtoexplain。
  AndIwatchedthehat——theexpressionofmysuddenpityforhismereflesh。
  Ithadbeenmeanttosavehishomelessheadfromthedangersofthesun。
  Andnow——behold——itwassavingtheship,byservingmeforamarktohelpouttheignoranceofmystrangeness。Ha!Itwasdriftingforward,warningmejustintimethattheshiphadgatheredsternaway。
  "Shiftthehelm,"Isaidinalowvoicetotheseamanstandingstilllikeastatue。
  Theman’seyesglistenedwildlyinthebinnaclelightashejumpedroundtotheothersideandspunroundthewheel。
  Iwalkedtothebreakofthepoop。Ontheover-shadoweddeckallhandsstoodbytheforebraceswaitingformyorder。
  Thestarsaheadseemedtobeglidingfromrighttoleft。
  AndallwassostillintheworldthatIheardthequietremark,"She’sround,"passedinatoneofintensereliefbetweentwoseamen。
  "Letgoandhaul。"
  Theforeyardsranroundwithagreatnoise,amidstcheerycries。
  Andnowthefrightfulwhiskersmadethemselvesheardgivingvariousorders。
  Alreadytheshipwasdrawingahead。AndIwasalonewithher。
  Nothing!nooneintheworldshouldstandnowbetweenus,throwingashadowonthewayofsilentknowledgeandmuteaffection,theperfectcommunionofaseamanwithhisfirstcommand。
  Walkingtothetaffrail,Iwasintimetomakeout,ontheveryedgeofadarknessthrownbyatoweringblackmassliketheverygatewayofErebus——yes,Iwasintimetocatchanevanescentglimpseofmywhitehatleftbehindtomarkthespotwherethesecretsharerofmycabinandofmythoughts,asthoughheweremysecondself,hadloweredhimselfintothewatertotakehispunishment:
  afreeman,aproudswimmerstrikingoutforanewdestiny。