"Theconferencesofthenightbegan，"continuedthegentleman，turningseveralleavesofhisnote-book，"withthismessage：’Evilcommunicationscorruptgoodmanners。’"
"Sound，"saidI；"but，absolutelynew？"
"Newfromspirits，"returnedthegentleman。
Icouldonlyrepeatmyrathersnappish"O！"andaskifImightbefavouredwiththelastcommunication。
"’Abirdinthehand，’"saidthegentleman，readinghislastentrywithgreatsolemnity，"’isworthtwointheBosh。’"
"TrulyIamofthesameopinion，"saidI；"butshouldn’titbeBush？"
"Itcametome，Bosh，"returnedthegentleman。
ThegentlemantheninformedmethatthespiritofSocrateshaddeliveredthisspecialrevelationinthecourseofthenight。"Myfriend，Ihopeyouareprettywell。Therearetwointhisrailwaycarriage。Howdoyoudo？Thereareseventeenthousandfourhundredandseventy-ninespiritshere，butyoucannotseethem。Pythagorasishere。Heisnotatlibertytomentionit，buthopesyouliketravelling。"Galileolikewisehaddroppedin，withthisscientificintelligence。"Iamgladtoseeyou，AMICO。COMESTA？Waterwillfreezewhenitiscoldenough。ADDIO！"Inthecourseofthenight，also，thefollowingphenomenahadoccurred。BishopButlerhadinsistedonspellinghisname，"Bubler，"forwhichoffenceagainstorthographyandgoodmannershehadbeendismissedasoutoftemper。
JohnMilton（suspectedofwilfulmystification）hadrepudiatedtheauthorshipofParadiseLost，andhadintroduced，asjointauthorsofthatpoem，twoUnknowngentlemen，respectivelynamedGrungersandScadgingtone。AndPrinceArthur，nephewofKingJohnofEngland，haddescribedhimselfastolerablycomfortableintheseventhcircle，wherehewaslearningtopaintonvelvet，underthedirectionofMrs。TrimmerandMaryQueenofScots。
Ifthisshouldmeettheeyeofthegentlemanwhofavouredmewiththesedisclosures，Itrusthewillexcusemyconfessingthatthesightoftherisingsun，andthecontemplationofthemagnificentOrderofthevastUniverse，mademeimpatientofthem。Inaword，I
wassoimpatientofthem，thatIwasmightilygladtogetoutatthenextstation，andtoexchangethesecloudsandvapoursforthefreeairofHeaven。
Bythattimeitwasabeautifulmorning。AsIwalkedawayamongsuchleavesashadalreadyfallenfromthegolden，brown，andrussettrees；andasIlookedaroundmeonthewondersofCreation，andthoughtofthesteady，unchanging，andharmoniouslawsbywhichtheyaresustained；thegentleman’sspiritualintercourseseemedtomeaspoorapieceofjourney-workaseverthisworldsaw。Inwhichheathenstateofmind，Icamewithinviewofthehouse，andstoppedtoexamineitattentively。
Itwasasolitaryhouse，standinginasadlyneglectedgarden：aprettyevensquareofsometwoacres。ItwasahouseofaboutthetimeofGeorgetheSecond；asstiff，ascold，asformal，andinasbadtaste，ascouldpossiblybedesiredbythemostloyaladmirerofthewholequartetofGeorges。Itwasuninhabited，buthad，withinayearortwo，beencheaplyrepairedtorenderithabitable；Isaycheaply，becausetheworkhadbeendoneinasurfacemanner，andwasalreadydecayingastothepaintandplaster，thoughthecolourswerefresh。Alop-sidedboarddroopedoverthegardenwall，announcingthatitwas"toletonveryreasonableterms，wellfurnished。"Itwasmuchtoocloselyandheavilyshadowedbytrees，and，inparticular，thereweresixtallpoplarsbeforethefrontwindows，whichwereexcessivelymelancholy，andthesiteofwhichhadbeenextremelyillchosen。
Itwaseasytoseethatitwasanavoidedhouse——ahousethatwasshunnedbythevillage，towhichmyeyewasguidedbyachurchspiresomehalfamileoff——ahousethatnobodywouldtake。Andthenaturalinferencewas，thatithadthereputationofbeingahauntedhouse。
Noperiodwithinthefour-and-twentyhoursofdayandnightissosolemntome，astheearlymorning。Inthesummer-time，Ioftenriseveryearly，andrepairtomyroomtodoaday’sworkbeforebreakfast，andIamalwaysonthoseoccasionsdeeplyimpressedbythestillnessandsolitudearoundme。Besidesthatthereissomethingawfulinthebeingsurroundedbyfamiliarfacesasleep——intheknowledgethatthosewhoaredearesttousandtowhomwearedearest，areprofoundlyunconsciousofus，inanimpassivestate，anticipativeofthatmysteriousconditiontowhichwearealltending——thestoppedlife，thebrokenthreadsofyesterday，thedesertedseat，theclosedbook，theunfinishedbutabandonedoccupation，allareimagesofDeath。ThetranquillityofthehouristhetranquillityofDeath。Thecolourandthechillhavethesameassociation。Evenacertainairthatfamiliarhouseholdobjectstakeuponthemwhentheyfirstemergefromtheshadowsofthenightintothemorning，ofbeingnewer，andastheyusedtobelongago，hasitscounterpartinthesubsidenceofthewornfaceofmaturityorage，indeath，intotheoldyouthfullook。Moreover，I
oncesawtheapparitionofmyfather，atthishour。Hewasaliveandwell，andnothingevercameofit，butIsawhiminthedaylight，sittingwithhisbacktowardsme，onaseatthatstoodbesidemybed。Hisheadwasrestingonhishand，andwhetherhewasslumberingorgrieving，Icouldnotdiscern。Amazedtoseehimthere，Isatup，movedmyposition，leanedoutofbed，andwatchedhim。Ashedidnotmove，Ispoketohimmorethanonce。Ashedidnotmovethen，Ibecamealarmedandlaidmyhanduponhisshoulder，asIthought——andtherewasnosuchthing。
Forallthesereasons，andforotherslesseasilyandbrieflystatable，Ifindtheearlymorningtobemymostghostlytime。Anyhousewouldbemoreorlesshaunted，tome，intheearlymorning；
andahauntedhousecouldscarcelyaddressmetogreateradvantagethanthen。
Iwalkedonintothevillage，withthedesertionofthishouseuponmymind，andIfoundthelandlordofthelittleinn，sandinghisdoor-step。Ibespokebreakfast，andbroachedthesubjectofthehouse。
"Isithaunted？"Iasked。
Thelandlordlookedatme，shookhishead，andanswered，"Isaynothing。"
"ThenitIShaunted？"
"Well！"criedthelandlord，inanoutburstoffranknessthathadtheappearanceofdesperation——"Iwouldn’tsleepinit。"
"Whynot？"
"IfIwantedtohaveallthebellsinahousering，withnobodytoring’em；andallthedoorsinahousebang，withnobodytobang’em；andallsortsoffeettreadingabout，withnofeetthere；why，then，"saidthelandlord，"I’dsleepinthathouse。"
"Isanythingseenthere？"
Thelandlordlookedatmeagain，andthen，withhisformerappearanceofdesperation，calleddownhisstable-yardfor"Ikey！"
Thecallproducedahigh-shoulderedyoungfellow，witharoundredface，ashortcropofsandyhair，averybroadhumorousmouth，aturned-upnose，andagreatsleevedwaistcoatofpurplebars，withmother-of-pearlbuttons，thatseemedtobegrowinguponhim，andtobeinafairway——ifitwerenotpruned——ofcoveringhisheadandoverunninghisboots。
"Thisgentlemanwantstoknow，"saidthelandlord，"ifanything’sseenatthePoplars。"
"’Oodedwomanwithahowl，"saidIkey，inastateofgreatfreshness。
"Doyoumeanacry？"
"Imeanabird，sir。"
"Ahoodedwomanwithanowl。Dearme！Didyoueverseeher？"
"Iseenthehowl。"
"Neverthewoman？"
"Notsoplainasthehowl，buttheyalwayskeepstogether。"
"Hasanybodyeverseenthewomanasplainlyastheowl？"
"Lordblessyou，sir！Lots。"
"Who？"
"Lordblessyou，sir！Lots。"
"Thegeneral-dealeropposite，forinstance，whoisopeninghisshop？"
"Perkins？Blessyou，Perkinswouldn’tgoa-nightheplace。No！"
observedtheyoungman，withconsiderablefeeling；"hean’toverwise，an’tPerkins，buthean’tsuchafoolasTHAT。"
（Here，thelandlordmurmuredhisconfidenceinPerkins’sknowingbetter。）
"Whois——orwhowas——thehoodedwomanwiththeowl？Doyouknow？"
"Well！"saidIkey，holdinguphiscapwithonehandwhilehescratchedhisheadwiththeother，"theysay，ingeneral，thatshewasmurdered，andthehowlhe’ootedthewhile。"
ThisveryconcisesummaryofthefactswasallIcouldlearn，exceptthatayoungman，asheartyandlikelyayoungmanaseverIsee，hadbeentookwithfitsandhelddownin’em，afterseeingthehoodedwoman。Also，thatapersonage，dimlydescribedas"aholdchap，asortofone-eyedtramp，answeringtothenameofJoby，unlessyouchallengedhimasGreenwood，andthenhesaid，’Whynot？
andevenifso，mindyourownbusiness，’"hadencounteredthehoodedwoman，amatteroffiveorsixtimes。But，Iwasnotmateriallyassistedbythesewitnesses：inasmuchasthefirstwasinCalifornia，andthelastwas，asIkeysaid（andhewasconfirmedbythelandlord），Anywheres。
Now，althoughIregardwithahushedandsolemnfear，themysteries，betweenwhichandthisstateofexistenceisinterposedthebarrierofthegreattrialandchangethatfallonallthethingsthatlive；
andalthoughIhavenottheaudacitytopretendthatIknowanythingofthem；Icannomorereconcilethemerebangingofdoors，ringingofbells，creakingofboards，andsuch-likeinsignificances，withthemajesticbeautyandpervadinganalogyofalltheDivinerulesthatIampermittedtounderstand，thanIhadbeenable，alittlewhilebefore，toyokethespiritualintercourseofmyfellow-
travellertothechariotoftherisingsun。Moreover，Ihadlivedintwohauntedhouses——bothabroad。Inoneofthese，anoldItalianpalace，whichborethereputationofbeingverybadlyhauntedindeed，andwhichhadrecentlybeentwiceabandonedonthataccount，Ilivedeightmonths，mosttranquillyandpleasantly：
notwithstandingthatthehousehadascoreofmysteriousbedrooms，whichwereneverused，andpossessed，inonelargeroominwhichI
satreading，timesoutofnumberatallhours，andnexttowhichI
slept，ahauntedchamberofthefirstpretensions。Igentlyhintedtheseconsiderationstothelandlord。Andastothisparticularhousehavingabadname，Ireasonedwithhim，Why，howmanythingshadbadnamesundeservedly，andhoweasyitwastogivebadnames，anddidhenotthinkthatifheandIwerepersistentlytowhisperinthevillagethatanyweird-lookingolddrunkentinkeroftheneighbourhoodhadsoldhimselftotheDevil，hewouldcomeintimetobesuspectedofthatcommercialventure！Allthiswisetalkwasperfectlyineffectivewiththelandlord，Iamboundtoconfess，andwasasdeadafailureaseverImadeinmylife。
Tocutthispartofthestoryshort，Iwaspiquedaboutthehauntedhouse，andwasalreadyhalfresolvedtotakeit。So，afterbreakfast，IgotthekeysfromPerkins’sbrother-in-law（awhipandharnessmaker，whokeepsthePostOffice，andisundersubmissiontoamostrigorouswifeoftheDoublySecedingLittleEmmanuelpersuasion），andwentuptothehouse，attendedbymylandlordandbyIkey。
Within，Ifoundit，asIhadexpected，transcendentlydismal。Theslowlychangingshadowswavedonitfromtheheavytrees，weredolefulinthelastdegree；thehousewasill-placed，ill-built，ill-planned，andill-fitted。Itwasdamp，itwasnotfreefromdryrot，therewasaflavourofratsinit，anditwasthegloomyvictimofthatindescribabledecaywhichsettlesonalltheworkofman’shandswheneverit’snotturnedtoman’saccount。Thekitchensandofficesweretoolarge，andtooremotefromeachother。Abovestairsandbelow，wastetractsofpassageintervenedbetweenpatchesoffertilityrepresentedbyrooms；andtherewasamouldyoldwellwithagreengrowthuponit，hidinglikeamurderoustrap，nearthebottomoftheback-stairs，underthedoublerowofbells。Oneofthesebellswaslabelled，onablackgroundinfadedwhiteletters，MASTERB。This，theytoldme，wasthebellthatrangthemost。
"WhowasMasterB。？"Iasked。"Isitknownwhathedidwhiletheowlhooted？"
"Rangthebell，"saidIkey。
Iwasratherstruckbythepromptdexteritywithwhichthisyoungmanpitchedhisfurcapatthebell，andrangithimself。Itwasaloud，unpleasantbell，andmadeaverydisagreeablesound。Theotherbellswereinscribedaccordingtothenamesoftheroomstowhichtheirwireswereconducted：as"PictureRoom，""DoubleRoom，"
"ClockRoom，"andthelike。FollowingMasterB。’sbelltoitssourceIfoundthatyounggentlemantohavehadbutindifferentthird-classaccommodationinatriangularcabinunderthecock-loft，withacornerfireplacewhichMasterB。musthavebeenexceedinglysmallifhewereeverabletowarmhimselfat，andacornerchimney-
piecelikeapyramidalstaircasetotheceilingforTomThumb。Thepaperingofonesideoftheroomhaddroppeddownbodily，withfragmentsofplasteradheringtoit，andalmostblockedupthedoor。
ItappearedthatMasterB。，inhisspiritualcondition，alwaysmadeapointofpullingthepaperdown。NeitherthelandlordnorIkeycouldsuggestwhyhemadesuchafoolofhimself。
Exceptthatthehousehadanimmenselylargeramblingloftattop，I
madenootherdiscoveries。Itwasmoderatelywellfurnished，butsparely。Someofthefurniture——say，athird——wasasoldasthehouse；therestwasofvariousperiodswithinthelasthalf-century。
Iwasreferredtoacorn-chandlerinthemarket-placeofthecountytowntotreatforthehouse。Iwentthatday，andItookitforsixmonths。
ItwasjustthemiddleofOctoberwhenImovedinwithmymaidensister（Iventuretocallhereight-and-thirty，sheissoveryhandsome，sensible，andengaging）。Wetookwithus，adeafstable-
man，mybloodhoundTurk，twowomenservants，andayoungpersoncalledanOddGirl。Ihavereasontorecordoftheattendantlastenumerated，whowasoneoftheSaintLawrence’sUnionFemaleOrphans，thatshewasafatalmistakeandadisastrousengagement。
Theyearwasdyingearly，theleaveswerefallingfast，itwasarawcolddaywhenwetookpossession，andthegloomofthehousewasmostdepressing。Thecook（anamiablewoman，butofaweakturnofintellect）burstintotearsonbeholdingthekitchen，andrequestedthathersilverwatchmightbedeliveredovertohersister（2
Tuppintock’sGardens，Liggs’sWalk，ClaphamRise），intheeventofanythinghappeningtoherfromthedamp。Streaker，thehousemaid，feignedcheerfulness，butwasthegreatermartyr。TheOddGirl，whohadneverbeeninthecountry，alonewaspleased，andmadearrangementsforsowinganacorninthegardenoutsidethescullerywindow，andrearinganoak。
Wewent，beforedark，throughallthenatural——asopposedtosupernatural——miseriesincidentaltoourstate。Dispiritingreportsascended（likethesmoke）fromthebasementinvolumes，anddescendedfromtheupperrooms。Therewasnorolling-pin，therewasnosalamander（whichfailedtosurpriseme，forIdon’tknowwhatitis），therewasnothinginthehouse，whattherewas，wasbroken，thelastpeoplemusthavelivedlikepigs，whatcouldthemeaningofthelandlordbe？Throughthesedistresses，theOddGirlwascheerfulandexemplary。Butwithinfourhoursafterdarkwehadgotintoasupernaturalgroove，andtheOddGirlhadseen"Eyes，"andwasinhysterics。
MysisterandIhadagreedtokeepthehauntingstrictlytoourselves，andmyimpressionwas，andstillis，thatIhadnotleftIkey，whenhehelpedtounloadthecart，alonewiththewomen，oranyoneofthem，foroneminute。Nevertheless，asIsay，theOddGirlhad"seenEyes"（nootherexplanationcouldeverbedrawnfromher），beforenine，andbyteno’clockhadhadasmuchvinegarappliedtoheraswouldpickleahandsomesalmon。
Ileaveadiscerningpublictojudgeofmyfeelings，when，undertheseuntowardcircumstances，atabouthalf-pastteno’clockMasterB。’sbellbegantoringinamostinfuriatedmanner，andTurkhowleduntilthehouseresoundedwithhislamentations！
IhopeImayneveragainbeinastateofmindsounchristianasthementalframeinwhichIlivedforsomeweeks，respectingthememoryofMasterB。Whetherhisbellwasrungbyrats，ormice，orbats，orwind，orwhatotheraccidentalvibration，orsometimesbyonecause，sometimesanother，andsometimesbycollusion，Idon’tknow；
but，certainitis，thatitdidringtwonightsoutofthree，untilIconceivedthehappyideaoftwistingMasterB。’sneck——inotherwords，breakinghisbellshortoff——andsilencingthatyounggentleman，astomyexperienceandbelief，forever。
But，bythattime，theOddGirlhaddevelopedsuchimprovingpowersofcatalepsy，thatshehadbecomeashiningexampleofthatveryinconvenientdisorder。Shewouldstiffen，likeaGuyFawkesendowedwithunreason，onthemostirrelevantoccasions。Iwouldaddresstheservantsinalucidmanner，pointingouttothemthatIhadpaintedMasterB。’sroomandbalkedthepaper，andtakenMasterB。’sbellawayandbalkedtheringing，andiftheycouldsupposethatthatconfoundedboyhadlivedanddied，toclothehimselfwithnobetterbehaviourthanwouldmostunquestionablyhavebroughthimandthesharpestparticlesofabirch-broomintocloseacquaintanceinthepresentimperfectstateofexistence，couldtheyalsosupposeamerepoorhumanbeing，suchasIwas，capablebythosecontemptiblemeansofcounteractingandlimitingthepowersofthedisembodiedspiritsofthedead，orofanyspirits？——IsayIwouldbecomeemphaticandcogent，nottosayrathercomplacent，insuchanaddress，whenitwouldallgofornothingbyreasonoftheOddGirl’ssuddenlystiffeningfromthetoesupward，andglaringamonguslikeaparochialpetrifaction。
Streaker，thehousemaid，too，hadanattributeofamostdiscomfitingnature。Iamunabletosaywhethershewasofanusuallylymphatictemperament，orwhatelsewasthematterwithher，butthisyoungwomanbecameamereDistilleryfortheproductionofthelargestandmosttransparenttearsIevermetwith。Combinedwiththesecharacteristics，wasapeculiartenacityofholdinthosespecimens，sothattheydidn’tfall，buthunguponherfaceandnose。Inthiscondition，andmildlyanddeplorablyshakingherhead，hersilencewouldthrowmemoreheavilythantheAdmirableCrichtoncouldhavedoneinaverbaldisputationforapurseofmoney。Cook，likewise，alwayscoveredmewithconfusionaswithagarment，byneatlywindingupthesessionwiththeprotestthattheOusewaswearingherout，andbymeeklyrepeatingherlastwishesregardinghersilverwatch。
Astoournightlylife，thecontagionofsuspicionandfearwasamongus，andthereisnosuchcontagionunderthesky。Hoodedwoman？Accordingtotheaccounts，wewereinaperfectConventofhoodedwomen。Noises？Withthatcontagiondownstairs，Imyselfhavesatinthedismalparlour，listening，untilIhaveheardsomanyandsuchstrangenoises，thattheywouldhavechilledmybloodifIhadnotwarmeditbydashingouttomakediscoveries。Trythisinbed，inthedeadofthenight：trythisatyourowncomfortablefire-side，inthelifeofthenight。Youcanfillanyhousewithnoises，ifyouwill，untilyouhaveanoiseforeverynerveinyournervoussystem。
Irepeat；thecontagionofsuspicionandfearwasamongus，andthereisnosuchcontagionunderthesky。Thewomen（theirnosesinachronicstateofexcoriationfromsmelling-salts）werealwaysprimedandloadedforaswoon，andreadytogooffwithhair-
triggers。ThetwoelderdetachedtheOddGirlonallexpeditionsthatwereconsidereddoublyhazardous，andshealwaysestablishedthereputationofsuchadventuresbycomingbackcataleptic。IfCookorStreakerwentoverheadafterdark，weknewweshouldpresentlyhearabumpontheceiling；andthistookplacesoconstantly，thatitwasasifafightingmanwereengagedtogoaboutthehouse，administeringatouchofhisartwhichIbelieveiscalledTheAuctioneer，toeverydomestichemetwith。
Itwasinvaintodoanything。Itwasinvaintobefrightened，forthemomentinone’sownperson，byarealowl，andthentoshowtheowl。Itwasinvaintodiscover，bystrikinganaccidentaldiscordonthepiano，thatTurkalwayshowledatparticularnotesandcombinations。ItwasinvaintobeaRhadamanthuswiththebells，andifanunfortunatebellrangwithoutleave，tohaveitdowninexorablyandsilenceit。Itwasinvaintofireupchimneys，lettorchesdownthewell，chargefuriouslyintosuspectedroomsandrecesses。Wechangedservants，anditwasnobetter。Thenewsetranaway，andathirdsetcame，anditwasnobetter。Atlast，ourcomfortablehousekeepinggottobesodisorganisedandwretched，thatIonenightdejectedlysaidtomysister："Patty，Ibegintodespairofourgettingpeopletogoonwithushere，andIthinkwemustgivethisup。"
Mysister，whoisawomanofimmensespirit，replied，"No，John，don’tgiveitup。Don’tbebeaten，John。Thereisanotherway。"
"Andwhatisthat？"saidI。
"John，"returnedmysister，"ifwearenottobedrivenoutofthishouse，andthatfornoreasonwhatever，thatisapparenttoyouorme，wemusthelpourselvesandtakethehousewhollyandsolelyintoourownhands。"
"But，theservants，"saidI。
"Havenoservants，"saidmysister，boldly。
Likemostpeopleinmygradeoflife，Ihadneverthoughtofthepossibilityofgoingonwithoutthosefaithfulobstructions。Thenotionwassonewtomewhensuggested，thatIlookedverydoubtful。
"Weknowtheycomeheretobefrightenedandinfectoneanother，andweknowtheyarefrightenedanddoinfectoneanother，"saidmysister。
"WiththeexceptionofBottles，"Iobserved，inameditativetone。
（Thedeafstable-man。Ikepthiminmyservice，andstillkeephim，asaphenomenonofmorosenessnottobematchedinEngland。）
"Tobesure，John，"assentedmysister；"exceptBottles。Andwhatdoesthatgotoprove？Bottlestalkstonobody，andhearsnobodyunlessheisabsolutelyroaredat，andwhatalarmhasBottlesevergiven，ortaken！None。"
Thiswasperfectlytrue；theindividualinquestionhavingretired，everynightatteno’clock，tohisbedoverthecoach-house，withnoothercompanythanapitchforkandapailofwater。Thatthepailofwaterwouldhavebeenoverme，andthepitchforkthroughme，ifI
hadputmyselfwithoutannouncementinBottles’swayafterthatminute，Ihaddepositedinmyownmindasafactworthremembering。
NeitherhadBottlesevertakentheleastnoticeofanyofourmanyuproars。Animperturbableandspeechlessman，hehadsatathissupper，withStreakerpresentinaswoon，andtheOddGirlmarble，andhadonlyputanotherpotatoinhischeek，orprofitedbythegeneralmiserytohelphimselftobeefsteakpie。
"Andso，"continuedmysister，"IexemptBottles。Andconsidering，John，thatthehouseistoolarge，andperhapstoolonely，tobekeptwellinhandbyBottles，you，andme，Iproposethatwecastaboutamongourfriendsforacertainselectednumberofthemostreliableandwilling——formaSocietyhereforthreemonths——waituponourselvesandoneanother——livecheerfullyandsocially——andseewhathappens。"
Iwassocharmedwithmysister，thatIembracedheronthespot，andwentintoherplanwiththegreatestardour。
WeweretheninthethirdweekofNovember；but，wetookourmeasuressovigorously，andweresowellsecondedbythefriendsinwhomweconfided，thattherewasstillaweekofthemonthunexpired，whenourpartyallcamedowntogethermerrily，andmusteredinthehauntedhouse。
Iwillmention，inthisplace，twosmallchangesthatImadewhilemysisterandIwereyetalone。ItoccurringtomeasnotimprobablethatTurkhowledinthehouseatnight，partlybecausehewantedtogetoutofit，Istationedhiminhiskenneloutside，butunchained；andIseriouslywarnedthevillagethatanymanwhocameinhiswaymustnotexpecttoleavehimwithoutaripinhisownthroat。IthencasuallyaskedIkeyifhewereajudgeofagun？Onhissaying，"Yes，sir，IknowsagoodgunwhenIseesher，"Ibeggedthefavourofhissteppinguptothehouseandlookingatmine。
"SHE’Satrueone，sir，"saidIkey，afterinspectingadouble-
barrelledriflethatIboughtinNewYorkafewyearsago。"NomistakeaboutHER，sir。"
"Ikey，"saidI，"don’tmentionit；Ihaveseensomethinginthishouse。"
"No，sir？"hewhispered，greedilyopeninghiseyes。"’Oodedlady，sir？"
"Don’tbefrightened，"saidI。"Itwasafigureratherlikeyou。"
"Lord，sir？"
"Ikey！"saidI，shakinghandswithhimwarmly：Imaysayaffectionately；"ifthereisanytruthintheseghost-stories，thegreatestserviceIcandoyou，is，tofireatthatfigure。AndI
promiseyou，byHeavenandearth，IwilldoitwiththisgunifI
seeitagain！"
Theyoungmanthankedme，andtookhisleavewithsomelittleprecipitation，afterdecliningaglassofliquor。Iimpartedmysecrettohim，becauseIhadneverquiteforgottenhisthrowinghiscapatthebell；becauseIhad，onanotheroccasion，noticedsomethingverylikeafurcap，lyingnotfarfromthebell，onenightwhenithadburstoutringing；andbecauseIhadremarkedthatwewereatourghostliestwheneverhecameupintheeveningtocomforttheservants。LetmedoIkeynoinjustice。Hewasafraidofthehouse，andbelievedinitsbeinghaunted；andyethewouldplayfalseonthehauntingside，sosurelyashegotanopportunity。
TheOddGirl’scasewasexactlysimilar。Shewentaboutthehouseinastateofrealterror，andyetliedmonstrouslyandwilfully，andinventedmanyofthealarmsshespread，andmademanyofthesoundsweheard。Ihadhadmyeyeonthetwo，andIknowit。Itisnotnecessaryforme，here，toaccountforthispreposterousstateofmind；Icontentmyselfwithremarkingthatitisfamiliarlyknowntoeveryintelligentmanwhohashadfairmedical，legal，orotherwatchfulexperience；thatitisaswellestablishedandascommonastateofmindasanywithwhichobserversareacquainted；andthatitisoneofthefirstelements，aboveallothers，rationallytobesuspectedin，andstrictlylookedfor，andseparatedfrom，anyquestionofthiskind。
Toreturntoourparty。Thefirstthingwedidwhenwewereallassembled，was，todrawlotsforbedrooms。Thatdone，andeverybedroom，and，indeed，thewholehouse，havingbeenminutelyexaminedbythewholebody，weallottedthevarioushouseholdduties，asifwehadbeenonagipsyparty，orayachtingparty，orahuntingparty，orwereshipwrecked。Ithenrecountedthefloatingrumoursconcerningthehoodedlady，theowl，andMasterB。：withothers，stillmorefilmy，whichhadfloatedaboutduringouroccupation，relativetosomeridiculousoldghostofthefemalegenderwhowentupanddown，carryingtheghostofaroundtable；andalsotoanimpalpableJackass，whomnobodywaseverabletocatch。SomeoftheseideasIreallybelieveourpeoplebelowhadcommunicatedtooneanotherinsomediseasedway，withoutconveyingtheminwords。
Wethengravelycalledoneanothertowitness，thatwewerenottheretobedeceived，ortodeceive——whichweconsideredprettymuchthesamething——andthat，withaserioussenseofresponsibility，wewouldbestrictlytruetooneanother，andwouldstrictlyfollowoutthetruth。Theunderstandingwasestablished，thatanyonewhoheardunusualnoisesinthenight，andwhowishedtotracethem，shouldknockatmydoor；lastly，thatonTwelfthNight，thelastnightofholyChristmas，allourindividualexperiencessincethatthenpresenthourofourcomingtogetherinthehauntedhouse，shouldbebroughttolightforthegoodofall；andthatwewouldholdourpeaceonthesubjecttillthen，unlessonsomeremarkableprovocationtobreaksilence。
Wewere，innumberandincharacter，asfollows：
First——togetmysisterandmyselfoutoftheway——therewerewetwo。Inthedrawingoflots，mysisterdrewherownroom，andI
drewMasterB。’s。Next，therewasourfirstcousinJohnHerschel，socalledafterthegreatastronomer：thanwhomIsupposeabettermanatatelescopedoesnotbreathe。Withhim，washiswife：acharmingcreaturetowhomhehadbeenmarriedinthepreviousspring。Ithoughtit（underthecircumstances）ratherimprudenttobringher，becausethereisnoknowingwhatevenafalsealarmmaydoatsuchatime；butIsupposeheknewhisownbusinessbest，andImustsaythatifshehadbeenMYwife，Inevercouldhaveleftherendearingandbrightfacebehind。TheydrewtheClockRoom。AlfredStarling，anuncommonlyagreeableyoungfellowofeight-and-twentyforwhomIhavethegreatestliking，wasintheDoubleRoom；mine，usually，anddesignatedbythatnamefromhavingadressing-roomwithinit，withtwolargeandcumbersomewindows，whichnowedgesI
waseverabletomake，wouldkeepfromshaking，inanyweather，windornowind。Alfredisayoungfellowwhopretendstobe"fast"
（anotherwordforloose，asIunderstandtheterm），butwhoismuchtoogoodandsensibleforthatnonsense，andwhowouldhavedistinguishedhimselfbeforenow，ifhisfatherhadnotunfortunatelylefthimasmallindependenceoftwohundredayear，onthestrengthofwhichhisonlyoccupationinlifehasbeentospendsix。Iaminhopes，however，thathisBankermaybreak，orthathemayenterintosomespeculationguaranteedtopaytwentypercent。；for，Iamconvincedthatifhecouldonlyberuined，hisfortuneismade。BelindaBates，bosomfriendofmysister，andamostintellectual，amiable，anddelightfulgirl，gotthePictureRoom。Shehasafinegeniusforpoetry，combinedwithrealbusinessearnestness，and"goesin"——touseanexpressionofAlfred’s——forWoman’smission，Woman’srights，Woman’swrongs，andeverythingthatiswoman’swithacapitalW，orisnotandoughttobe，orisandoughtnottobe。"Mostpraiseworthy，mydear，andHeavenprosperyou！"IwhisperedtoheronthefirstnightofmytakingleaveofheratthePicture-Roomdoor，"butdon’toverdoit。Andinrespectofthegreatnecessitythereis，mydarling，formoreemploymentsbeingwithinthereachofWomanthanourcivilisationhasasyetassignedtoher，don’tflyattheunfortunatemen，eventhosemenwhoareatfirstsightinyourway，asiftheywerethenaturaloppressorsofyoursex；for，trustme，Belinda，theydosometimesspendtheirwagesamongwivesanddaughters，sisters，mothers，aunts，andgrandmothers；andtheplayis，really，notALLWolfandRedRiding-Hood，buthasotherpartsinit。"However，Idigress。
Belinda，asIhavementioned，occupiedthePictureRoom。Wehadbutthreeotherchambers：theCornerRoom，theCupboardRoom，andtheGardenRoom。Myoldfriend，JackGovernor，"slunghishammock，"ashecalledit，intheCornerRoom。IhavealwaysregardedJackasthefinest-lookingsailorthateversailed。Heisgraynow，butashandsomeashewasaquarterofacenturyago——nay，handsomer。A
portly，cheery，well-builtfigureofabroad-shoulderedman，withafranksmile，abrilliantdarkeye，andarichdarkeyebrow。I
rememberthoseunderdarkerhair，andtheylookallthebetterfortheirsilversetting。HehasbeenwhereverhisUnionnamesakeflies，hasJack，andIhavemetoldshipmatesofhis，awayintheMediterraneanandontheothersideoftheAtlantic，whohavebeamedandbrightenedatthecasualmentionofhisname，andhavecried，"YouknowJackGovernor？Thenyouknowaprinceofmen！"Thatheis！Andsounmistakablyanavalofficer，thatifyouweretomeethimcomingoutofanEsquimauxsnow-hutinseal’sskin，youwouldbevaguelypersuadedhewasinfullnavaluniform。
Jackoncehadthatbrightcleareyeofhisonmysister；but，itfelloutthathemarriedanotherladyandtookhertoSouthAmerica，whereshedied。Thiswasadozenyearsagoormore。Hebroughtdownwithhimtoourhauntedhousealittlecaskofsaltbeef；for，heisalwaysconvincedthatallsaltbeefnotofhisownpickling，ismerecarrion，andinvariably，whenhegoestoLondon，packsapieceinhisportmanteau。Hehadalsovolunteeredtobringwithhimone"NatBeaver，"anoldcomradeofhis，captainofamerchantman。
Mr。Beaver，withathick-setwoodenfaceandfigure，andapparentlyashardasablockallover，provedtobeanintelligentman，withaworldofwateryexperiencesinhim，andgreatpracticalknowledge。
Attimes，therewasacuriousnervousnessabouthim，apparentlythelingeringresultofsomeoldillness；but，itseldomlastedmanyminutes。HegottheCupboardRoom，andlaytherenexttoMr。
Undery，myfriendandsolicitor：whocamedown，inanamateurcapacity，"togothroughwithit，"ashesaid，andwhoplayswhistbetterthanthewholeLawList，fromtheredcoveratthebeginningtotheredcoverattheend。
Ineverwashappierinmylife，andIbelieveitwastheuniversalfeelingamongus。JackGovernor，alwaysamanofwonderfulresources，wasChiefCook，andmadesomeofthebestdishesIeverate，includingunapproachablecurries。Mysisterwaspastrycookandconfectioner。StarlingandIwereCook’sMate，turnandturnabout，andonspecialoccasionsthechiefcook"pressed"Mr。Beaver。Wehadagreatdealofout-doorsportandexercise，butnothingwasneglectedwithin，andtherewasnoill-humourormisunderstandingamongus，andoureveningsweresodelightfulthatwehadatleastonegoodreasonforbeingreluctanttogotobed。
Wehadafewnightalarmsinthebeginning。Onthefirstnight，I
wasknockedupbyJackwithamostwonderfulship’slanterninhishand，likethegillsofsomemonsterofthedeep，whoinformedmethathe"wasgoingalofttothemaintruck，"tohavetheweathercockdown。ItwasastormynightandIremonstrated；butJackcalledmyattentiontoitsmakingasoundlikeacryofdespair，andsaidsomebodywouldbe"hailingaghost"presently，ifitwasn’tdone。
So，uptothetopofthehouse，whereIcouldhardlystandforthewind，wewent，accompaniedbyMr。Beaver；andthereJack，lanternandall，withMr。Beaverafterhim，swarmeduptothetopofacupola，sometwodozenfeetabovethechimneys，andstooduponnothingparticular，coollyknockingtheweathercockoff，untiltheybothgotintosuchgoodspiritswiththewindandtheheight，thatI
thoughttheywouldnevercomedown。Anothernight，theyturnedoutagain，andhadachimney-cowloff。Anothernight，theycutasobbingandgulpingwater-pipeaway。Anothernight，theyfoundoutsomethingelse。Onseveraloccasions，theyboth，inthecoolestmanner，simultaneouslydroppedoutoftheirrespectivebedroomwindows，handoverhandbytheircounterpanes，to"overhaul"
somethingmysteriousinthegarden。
Theengagementamonguswasfaithfullykept，andnobodyrevealedanything。Allweknewwas，ifanyone’sroomwerehaunted，noonelookedtheworseforit。
CHAPTERII——THEGHOSTINMASTERB。’SROOM
WhenIestablishedmyselfinthetriangulargarretwhichhadgainedsodistinguishedareputation，mythoughtsnaturallyturnedtoMasterB。Myspeculationsabouthimwereuneasyandmanifold。
WhetherhisChristiannamewasBenjamin，Bissextile（fromhishavingbeenborninLeapYear），Bartholomew，orBill。Whethertheinitialletterbelongedtohisfamilyname，andthatwasBaxter，Black，Brown，Barker，Buggins，Baker，orBird。Whetherhewasafoundling，andhadbeenbaptizedB。Whetherhewasalion-heartedboy，andB。
wasshortforBriton，orforBull。Whetherhecouldpossiblyhavebeenkithandkintoanillustriousladywhobrightenedmyownchildhood，andhadcomeofthebloodofthebrilliantMotherBunch？
WiththeseprofitlessmeditationsItormentedmyselfmuch。Ialsocarriedthemysteriousletterintotheappearanceandpursuitsofthedeceased；wonderingwhetherhedressedinBlue，woreBoots（hecouldn’thavebeenBald），wasaboyofBrains，likedBooks，wasgoodatBowling，hadanyskillasaBoxer，eveninhisBuoyantBoyhoodBathedfromaBathing-machineatBognor，Bangor，Bournemouth，Brighton，orBroadstairs，likeaBoundingBilliardBall？
So，fromthefirst，IwashauntedbytheletterB。
ItwasnotlongbeforeIremarkedthatIneverbyanyhazardhadadreamofMasterB。，orofanythingbelongingtohim。But，theinstantIawokefromsleep，atwhateverhourofthenight，mythoughtstookhimup，androamedaway，tryingtoattachhisinitiallettertosomethingthatwouldfititandkeepitquiet。
Forsixnights，IhadbeenworriedthisinMasterB。’sroom，whenI
begantoperceivethatthingsweregoingwrong。
Thefirstappearancethatpresenteditselfwasearlyinthemorningwhenitwasbutjustdaylightandnomore。Iwasstandingshavingatmyglass，whenIsuddenlydiscovered，tomyconsternationandamazement，thatIwasshaving——notmyself——Iamfifty——butaboy。
ApparentlyMasterB。！
Itrembledandlookedovermyshoulder；nothingthere。Ilookedagainintheglass，anddistinctlysawthefeaturesandexpressionofaboy，whowasshaving，nottogetridofabeard，buttogetone。Extremelytroubledinmymind，Itookafewturnsintheroom，andwentbacktothelooking-glass，resolvedtosteadymyhandandcompletetheoperationinwhichIhadbeendisturbed。Openingmyeyes，whichIhadshutwhilerecoveringmyfirmness，Inowmetintheglass，lookingstraightatme，theeyesofayoungmanoffourorfiveandtwenty。Terrifiedbythisnewghost，Iclosedmyeyes，andmadeastrongefforttorecovermyself。Openingthemagain，I
saw，shavinghischeekintheglass，myfather，whohaslongbeendead。Nay，Ievensawmygrandfathertoo，whomIneverdidseeinmylife。
Althoughnaturallymuchaffectedbytheseremarkablevisitations，I
determinedtokeepmysecret，untilthetimeagreeduponforthepresentgeneraldisclosure。Agitatedbyamultitudeofcuriousthoughts，Iretiredtomyroom，thatnight，preparedtoencountersomenewexperienceofaspectralcharacter。Norwasmypreparationneedless，for，wakingfromanuneasysleepatexactlytwoo’clockinthemorning，whatweremyfeelingstofindthatIwassharingmybedwiththeskeletonofMasterB。！
Isprangup，andtheskeletonsprangupalso。Ithenheardaplaintivevoicesaying，"WhereamI？Whatisbecomeofme？"and，lookinghardinthatdirection，perceivedtheghostofMasterB。
Theyoungspectrewasdressedinanobsoletefashion：orrather，wasnotsomuchdressedasputintoacaseofinferiorpepper-and-
saltcloth，madehorriblebymeansofshiningbuttons。Iobservedthatthesebuttonswent，inadoublerow，overeachshoulderoftheyoungghost，andappearedtodescendhisback。Heworeafrillroundhisneck。Hisrighthand（whichIdistinctlynoticedtobeinky）waslaiduponhisstomach；connectingthisactionwithsomefeeblepimplesonhiscountenance，andhisgeneralairofnausea，I
concludedthisghosttobetheghostofaboywhohadhabituallytakenagreatdealtoomuchmedicine。
"WhereamI？"saidthelittlespectre，inapatheticvoice。"AndwhywasIbornintheCalomeldays，andwhydidIhaveallthatCalomelgivenme？"
Ireplied，withsincereearnestness，thatuponmysoulIcouldn’ttellhim。
"Whereismylittlesister，"saidtheghost，"andwheremyangeliclittlewife，andwhereistheboyIwenttoschoolwith？"
Ientreatedthephantomtobecomforted，andaboveallthingstotakeheartrespectingthelossoftheboyhewenttoschoolwith。I
representedtohimthatprobablythatboyneverdid，withinhumanexperience，comeoutwell，whendiscovered。IurgedthatImyselfhad，inlaterlife，turnedupseveralboyswhomIwenttoschoolwith，andnoneofthemhadatallanswered。Iexpressedmyhumblebeliefthatthatboyneverdidanswer。Irepresentedthathewasamythiccharacter，adelusion，andasnare。Irecountedhow，thelasttimeIfoundhim，Ifoundhimatadinnerpartybehindawallofwhitecravat，withaninconclusiveopiniononeverypossiblesubject，andapowerofsilentboredomabsolutelyTitanic。I
relatedhow，onthestrengthofourhavingbeentogetherat"OldDoylance’s，"hehadaskedhimselftobreakfastwithme（asocialoffenceofthelargestmagnitude）；how，fanningmyweakembersofbeliefinDoylance’sboys，Ihadlethimin；andhow，hehadprovedtobeafearfulwandererabouttheearth，pursuingtheraceofAdamwithinexplicablenotionsconcerningthecurrency，andwithapropositionthattheBankofEnglandshould，onpainofbeingabolished，instantlystrikeoffandcirculate，Godknowshowmanythousandmillionsoften-and-sixpennynotes。
Theghostheardmeinsilence，andwithafixedstare。"Barber！"itapostrophisedmewhenIhadfinished。
"Barber？"Irepeated——forIamnotofthatprofession。