Butthelocalitywasremarkablyhealthy。Peoplewhofelldowntheembankmentsfoundtheirwoundshealrapidlyinthesteadysea-
breeze。Ventilationwascompleteandthorough。Theopeningofthebay-windowproducedacurrentofwholesomeairwhicheffectuallyremovedallnoxiousexhalations，togetherwiththecurtains，thehingesofthebackdoor，andthewindow-shutters。Owingtothispeculiarity，someofmywritingsacquiredanextensivecirculationandpublicityintheneighborhood，whichyearsinanotherlocalitymightnothaveproduced。Severalarticlesofwearingapparel，whichweremysteriouslytransposedfromourclothes-linetothatofanhumblethoughhonestneighbor，wasundoubtedlytheresultofthesesanitarywinds。YetinspiteoftheseadvantagesIfounditconvenientinafewmonthstomove。AndtheresultwhereofIshallcommunicateinotherpapers。
II。
"Ahousewithafinegardenandextensiveshrubbery，inagenteelneighborhood，"were，ifIrememberrightly，thegeneraltermsofanadvertisementwhichoncedecidedmychoiceofadwelling。Ishouldaddthatthisoccurredatanearlystageofmyhouseholdexperience，whenIplacedatrustfulrelianceinadvertisements。Ihavesincelearnedthatthemosttruthfulpeopleareapttoindulgeaslightveinofexaggerationindescribingtheirownpossessions，asthoughthemerecircumstanceofgoingintoprintwereanexcuseforacertainkindofmendacity。ButIdidnotfullyawakentothisfactuntilamuchlaterperiod，when，inansweringanadvertisementwhichdescribedahighlyadvantageoustenement，IwasreferredtothehouseIthenoccupied，andfromwhichathousandinconvenienceswereimpellingmetomove。
The"finegarden"alludedtowasnotlarge，butcontainedseveralpeculiarlyshapedflower-beds。Iwasatfirststruckwiththesingularresemblancewhichtheyboretothemutton-chopsthatareusuallybroughtonthetableathotelsandrestaurants，——aresemblancethemorestrikingfromthesprigsofparsleywhichtheyproducedfreely。Oneplatinparticularremindedme，notunpleasantly，ofapeculiarcake，knowntomyboyhoodas"abolivar。"Theowneroftheproperty，however，whoseemedtobeamanoforiginalaestheticideas，hadbankeduponeofthesebedswithbright-coloredsea-shells，sothatinrainyweatheritsuggestedanaquarium，andofferedtheelementsofbotanicalandconchologicalstudyinpleasingjuxtaposition。Ihavesincethoughtthatthefish-geraniums，whichitalsoboretoasurprisingextent，wereintroducedoriginallyfromsomesuchideaofconsistency。Butitwasverypleasant，afterdinner，torambleupanddownthegravellypaths（whoseoccasionalbouldersremindedmeofthedrybedofasomewhatcircuitousminingstream），smokingacigar，orinhalingthericharomaoffennel，oroccasionallystoppingtopluckoneofthehollyhockswithwhichthegardenabounded。Theprolificqualitiesofthisplantalarmedusgreatly，foralthough，inthefirsttransportofenthusiasm，mywifeplantedseveraldifferentkindsofflower-seeds，nothingevercameupbuthollyhocks；andalthough，impelledbythesamelaudableimpulse，I
procuredacopyof"Downing’sLandscapeGardening，"andafewgardeningtools，andworkedforseveralhoursinthegarden，myeffortswereequallyfutile。
The"extensiveshrubbery"consistedofseveraldwarfedtrees。Onewasaveryweakyoungweepingwillow，soverylimpandmaudlin，andsoevidentlybentonestablishingitsreputation，thatithadtobetiedupagainstthehouseforsupport。Thedampnessofthatportionofthehousewasusuallyattributedtothepresenceofthislachrymoseshrub。Andtotheseacoupleofhighlyobjectionabletrees，known，Ithink，bythenameofMalva，whichmadeaninordinateshowofcheapblossomsthattheywerecontinuallyshedding，andoneortwodwarfoaks，withscalyleavesandagenerallyspitefulexterior，andyouhavewhatwasnotinaptlytermedbyourMilesianhandmaid"thescrubbery。"
ThegentilityofourneighborsufferedablightfromtheunwholesomevicinityofMcGinnisCourt。Thiscourtwasakindofculdesacthat，onbeingpenetrated，discoveredaprimitivepeoplelivinginastateofbarbarousfreedom，andapparentlyspendingthegreaterportionoftheirlivesontheirowndoor-steps。Manyofthosedetailsofthetoiletwhichapopularprejudicerestrictstothedressing-roominotherlocalities，werehereperformedintheopencourtwithoutfearandwithoutreproach。Earlyintheweekthecourtwashidinachoking，soapymist，whicharosefrominnumerablewashtubs。Thiswasfollowedinadayortwolaterbyanextraordinaryexhibitionofwearingapparelofdiverscolors，flutteringonlineslikeadisplayofbuntingonship-board，andwhoseflappinginthebreezewaslikeirregulardischargesofmusketry。Itwasevidentalsothatthecourtexercisedademoralizinginfluenceoverthewholeneighborhood。Asanguineproperty-owneronceputupahandsomedwellingonthecornerofourstreet，andlivedtherein；butalthoughheappearedfrequentlyonhisbalcony，cladinabrightcrimsondressing-gown，whichmadehimlooklikeatropicalbirdofsomerareandgorgeousspecies，hefailedtowooanykindreddressing-gowntothevicinity，andonlyprovokedopprobriousepithetsfromthegaminsofthecourt。Hemovedawayshortlyafter，andongoingbythehouseoneday，I
noticedabillof"Roomstolet，withboard，"postedconspicuouslyontheCorinthiancolumnsoftheporch。McGinnisCourthadtriumphed。Aninterchangeofcivilitiesatoncetookplacebetweenthecourtandtheservants’areaofthepalatialmansion，andsomeoftheyoungmenboardersexchangeplayfulslangwiththeadolescentmembersofthecourt。Fromthatmomentwefeltthatourclaimstogentilitywereforeverabandoned。
Yet，weenjoyedintervalsofunalloyedcontentment。Whenthetwilighttoneddownthehardoutlinesoftheoaks，andmadeshadowyclumpsandformlessmassesofotherbushes，itwasquiteromantictositbythewindowandinhalethefaint，sadodorofthefennelinthewalksbelow。Perhapsthiseconomicalpleasurewasmuchenhancedbyapictureinmymemory，whosefadedcolorstheodorofthishumbleplantneverfailedtorestore。SoIoftensatthereofeveningsandclosedmyeyesuntiltheformsandbenchesofacountryschoolroomcamebacktome，redolentwiththeincenseoffennelcovertlystowedawayinmydesk，andgazedagaininsilentraptureontheround，redcheeksandlongblackbraidsofthatpeerlesscreaturewhoseglancehadoftencausedmycheekstoglowoverthepreternaturalcollar，whichatthatperiodofmyboyhooditwasmyprideandprivilegetowear。AsIfearImaybeoftenthoughthypercriticalandcensoriousinthesearticles，Iamwillingtorecordthisasoneoftheadvantagesofournewhouse，notmentionedintheadvertisement，norchargeableintherent。
Maythepresenttenant，whoisastock-broker，andwhoimpressesmewiththeideaofhavingalwaysbeencalled"Mr。"fromhiscradleup，enjoythisadvantage，andtrysometimestorememberhewasaboy！
III。
SoonafterImovedintoHappyValleyIwasstruckwiththeremarkableinfelicityofitstitle。GenerousasCaliforniansareintheuseofadjectives，thispassedintothedomainofirony。
ButIwasinclinedtothinkitsincere，——theproductionofaweakbutgushingmind，justasthefemininenomenclatureofstreetsinthevicinitywasevidentlybestowedbyoneinhabitualcommunionwith"Friendship’sGifts"and"Affection’sOfferings。"
OurhouseonLauraMatildaStreetlookedsomewhatlikeatoySwissCottage，——astyleofarchitecturesoprevalent，thatinwalkingdowntheblockitwasquitedifficulttoresistanimpressionoffreshglueandpineshavings。Thefewshade-treesmighthavebelongedoriginallytothoseovalChristmasboxeswhichcontaintoyvillages；andeventhepeoplewhosatbythewindowshadastiffnessthatmadethemappearsurprisinglyunrealandartificial。Alittledogbelongingtoaneighborwasknowntothemembersofmyhouseholdbythenameof"Glass，"fromthegeneralsuggestionhegaveofhavingbeenspunofthatarticle。PerhapsIhavesomewhatexaggeratedtheseillustrationsofthedappernicetyofourneighborhood，——aneatnessandconcisenesswhichIthinkhaveageneraltendencytobelittle，dwarf，andcontracttheirobjects。
Forwegraduallyfellintosmallwaysandnarrowideas，andtosomeextentsquaredtheroundworldoutsidetothecorrectanglesofLauraMatildaStreet。
Onereasonforthisinsincerequalitymayhavebeenthefactthattheveryfoundationsofourneighborhoodwereartificial。LauraMatildaStreetwas"madeground。"Theland，notyetquitereclaimed，wascontinuallystrugglingwithitsoldenemy。Wehadnotbeenlonginournewhomebeforewefoundanoldertenant，notyetwhollydivestedofhisrights，whosometimesshowedhimselfinclammyperspirationonthebasementwalls，whosedampbreathchilledourdining-room，andinthenightstruckamortalchillinessthroughthehouse。Therewerenopatentfasteningsthatcouldkeephimout，——nowritofunlawfuldetainerthatcouldejecthim。Inthewinterhispresencewasquitepalpable；hesappedtherootsofthetrees，hegurgledunderthekitchenfloor，hewroughtanunwholesomegreennessonthesideoftheveranda。Insummerhebecameinvisible，butstillexercisedafamiliarinfluenceoverthelocality。Heplantedlittlestitchesinthesmalloftheback，soughtoutoldachesandweakjoints，andsportivelypunchedthetenantsoftheSwissCottageundertheribs。Heinveigledlittlechildrentoplaywithhim，buthisplaysgenerallyendedinscarletfever，diphtheria，whooping-cough，andmeasles。Hesometimesfollowedstrongmenaboutuntiltheysickenedsuddenlyandtooktotheirbeds。Buthekeptthegreen-plantsingoodorder，andwasveryfondofverdure，bestowingitevenuponlathandplasterandsoullessstone。Hewasgenerallyinvisible，asIhavesaid；butsometimeafterIhadmoved，Isawhimonemorningfromthehillstretchinghisgraywingsoverthevalley，likesomefabulousvampire，whohadspentthenightsuckingthewholesomejuicesofthesleepersbelow，andwassluggishfromtheeffectsofhisrepast。ItwasthenthatIrecognizedhimasMalaria，andknewhisabodetobethedreadValleyoftheshadowofMiasma，——miscalledtheHappyValley！
Onweekdaystherewasapleasantmelodyofboiler-makingfromthefoundries，andthegasworksinthevicinitysometimeslentamildperfumetothebreeze。Ourstreetwasusuallyquiet，however，——afootfallbeingsufficienttodrawtheinhabitantstotheirfrontwindows，andtoobligeanincautioustrespassertorunthegauntletofbatteriesofblueandblackeyesoneithersideoftheway。A
carriagepassingthroughitcommunicatedasingularthrilltothefloors，andcausedthechinaonthedining-tabletorattle。
Althoughwewerecomparativelyfreefromtheprevailingwinds，wanderinggustssometimesgotbewilderedandstrayedunconsciouslyintoourstreet，andfindinganunencumberedfield，incontinentlysetupashriekofjoy，andwentgleefullytoworkontheclothes-
linesandchimney-pots，andhadagoodtimegenerallyuntiltheywerequiteexhausted。Ihaveaveryvividpictureinmymemoryofanorgan-grinderwhowasatonetimeblownintotheendofourstreet，andactuallyblownthroughitinspiteofseveralineffectualeffortstocometoastandbeforethedifferentdwellings，butwhowasfinallywhirledoutoftheotherextremity，stillplayingandvainlyendeavoringtopursuehisunhallowedcalling。Butthesewerenoteworthyexceptionstothecalmandeventenorofourlife。
Therewascontiguitybutnotmuchsociabilityinourneighborhood。
FrommybedroomwindowIcouldplainlydistinguishthepeculiarkindofvictualsspreadonmyneighbor’sdining-table；while，ontheotherhand，heobtainedanequallyuninterruptedviewofthemysteriesofmytoilet。Still，that"lowvice，curiosity，"wasregulatedbycertainlaws，andakindofrudechivalryinvestedourobservation。Aprettygirl，whosebedroomwindowwasthecynosureofneighboringeyes，wasoncebroughtunderthefocusofanopera-
glassinthehandsofoneofouringenuousyouth；butthisactmetsuchpromptanduniversalcondemnation，asanunmanlyadvantage，fromthelipsofmarriedmenandbachelorswhodidn’townopera-
glasses，thatitwasneverrepeated。
WiththisbriefsketchIconcludemyrecordoftheneighborhoodsI
havemovedfrom。Ihavemovedfrommanyotherssincethen，buttheyhavegenerallypresentedfeaturesnotdissimilartothethreeIhaveendeavoredtodescribeinthesepages。Iofferthemastypescontainingthesalientpeculiaritiesofall。Letnoinconsideratereaderrashlymoveonaccountofthem。Myexperiencehasnotbeencheaplybought。FromthenettleChangeIhavetriedtoplucktheflowerSecurity。Draymenhavegrownrichatmyexpense。House-agentshaveknownmeandwereglad，andlandlordshaverisenuptomeetmefromafar。TheforceofhabitimpelsmestilltoconsultallthebillsIseeinthestreets，norcanthewartelegramsdivertmyfirstattentionfromtheadvertisingcolumnsofthedailypapers。Irepeat，letnomanthinkIhavedisclosedtheweaknessesoftheneighborhood，norrashlyopenthatclosetwhichcontainsthesecretskeletonofhisdwelling。Mycarpetshavebeenalteredtofitallsizedodd-shapedapartmentsfromparallelopipedtohexagons。Muchofmyfurniturehasbeendistributedamongmyformerdwellings。Theselimbshavestretcheduponuncarpetedfloors，orhavebeenletdownsuddenlyfromimperfectlyestablishedbedsteads。Ihavedinedintheparlorandsleptinthebackkitchen。YettheresultofthesesacrificesandtrialsmaybebrieflysummedupinthestatementthatIamnowontheeveofremovalfrommyPRESENTNEIGHBORHOOD。
MYSUBURBANRESIDENCE。
Iliveinthesuburbs。Myresidence，toquotethepleasingfictionoftheadvertisement，"iswithinfifteenminutes’walkoftheCityHall。"WhytheCityHallshouldbeconsideredasaneligibleterminusofanybody’swalk，underanycircumstances，Ihavenotbeenabletodetermine。Neverhavingwalkedfrommyresidencetothatplace，Iamunabletoverifytheassertion，thoughImaystateasapurelyabstractandseparateproposition，thatittakesmethebetterpartofanhourtoreachMontgomeryStreet。
Myselectionoflocalitywasacompromisebetweenmywife’sdesiretogointothecountry，andmyownpredilectionsforcivichabitation。Likemostcompromises，itendedinretainingtheobjectionablefeaturesofbothpropositions；Iprocuredtheinconveniencesofthecountrywithoutlosingthediscomfortsofthecity。Iincreasedmydistancefromthebutcherandgreen-grocer，withoutapproximatingtoherdsandkitchen-gardens。ButI
anticipate。
Freshairwastobetheprincipalthingsoughtfor。Thattheremightbetoomuchofthisdidnotenterintomycalculations。ThefirstdayIenteredmyresidence，itblew；theseconddaywaswindy；thethird，fresh，withastrongbreezestirring；onthefourth，itblew；onthefifth，therewasagale，whichhascontinuedtothepresentwriting。
Thattheairisfresh，theabovestatementsufficientlyestablishes。
Thatitisbracing，IarguefromthefactthatIfinditimpossibletoopentheshuttersonthewindwardsideofthehouse。Thatitishealthy，Iamalsoconvinced，believingthatthereisnootherforceinNaturethatcouldsobuffetandill-useapersonwithoutseriousinjurytohim。Letmeofferaninstance。Thepathtomydoorcrossesaslighteminence。Theunconsciousvisitor，alittleexhaustedbytheascentandthegeneraleffectsofthegentlegaleswhichhehasfacedinapproachingmyhospitablemansion，relaxeshisefforts，smoothshisbrow，andapproacheswithafascinatingsmile。
Rashandtooconfidentman！Thewinddeliversasuccessionofrapidblows，andheisthrownback。Hestaggersupagain，inthelanguageoftheP。R。，"smilingandconfident。"Thewindnowmakesforavulnerablepoint，andgetshishatinchancery。Allceremonyisnowthrownaway；thelucklesswretchseizeshishatwithbothhands，andchargesmadlyatthefrontdoor。Inchbyinch，thewindconteststheground；anotherstruggle，andhestandsupontheveranda。OnsuchoccasionsImakeitapointtoopenthedoormyself，withacalmnessandserenitythatshallofferamarkedcontrasttohisfeverishandexcitedair，andshallthrowsuspicionofinebrietyuponhim。Ifhebeinclinedtotimidityandbashfulness，duringthebestoftheeveningheisalltooconsciousofthedisarrangementofhishairandcravat。Ifheislesssensitive，theresultisoftenmoredistressing。AvaluedelderlyfriendoncecalleduponmeafterundergoingatwofoldstrugglewiththewindandalargeNewfoundlanddog（whichIkeepforreasonshereinafterstated），andnotonlyhishat，buthiswig，hadsuffered。Hespenttheeveningwithme，totallyunconsciousofthefactthathishairpresentedthesingularspectacleofhavingbeenparteddiagonallyfromtherighttempletotheleftear。Whenladiescalled，mywifepreferredtoreceivethem。Theyweregenerallyhysterical，andoftenintears。I
remember，oneSunday，tohavebeenstartledbywhatappearedtobetheballoonfromHayesValleydriftingrapidlypastmyconservatory，closelyfollowedbytheNewfoundlanddog。Irushedtothefrontdoor，butwasanticipatedbymywife。Astrangeladyappearedatlunch，butthephenomenonremainedotherwiseunaccountedfor。
Egressfrommyresidenceismuchmoreeasy。Myguestsseldom"standupontheorderoftheirgoing，butgoatonce"；theNewfoundlanddogplayfullyharassingtheirrear。Iwasstandingoneday，withmyhandontheopenhalldoor，inseriousconversationwiththeministeroftheparish，whenthebackdoorwascautiouslyopened。
Thewatchfulbreezeseizedtheopportunity，andchargedthroughthedefencelesspassage。Thefrontdoorclosedviolentlyinthemiddleofasentence，precipitatingthereverendgentlemanintothegarden。
TheNewfoundlanddog，withthatsagacityforwhichhisraceissodistinguished，atonceconcludedthatapersonalcollisionhadtakenplacebetweenmyselfandvisitor，andflewtomydefence。Thereverendgentlemannevercalledagain。
TheNewfoundlanddogabovealludedtowaspartofasystemofprotectionwhichmysuburbanhomeoncerequired。Robberieswerefrequentintheneighborhood，andmyonlyfowlfellavictimtothespoiler’sart。OnenightIawoke，andfoundamaninmyroom。
Withsingulardelicacyandrespectforthefeelingsofothers，hehadbeencarefulnottoawakenanyofthesleepers，andretireduponmyrising，withoutwaitingforanysuggestion。Touchedbyhisdelicacy，Iforboregivingthealarmuntilafterhehadmadegoodhisretreat。Ithenwantedtogoafterapoliceman，butmywiferemonstrated，asthiswouldleavethehouseexposed。Rememberingthegentlemanlyconductoftheburglar，Isuggestedtheplanoffollowinghimandrequestinghimtogivethealarmashewentintown。Butthispropositionwasreceivedwithequaldisfavor。ThenextdayIprocuredadogandarevolver。Theformerwentoff，butthelatterwouldn’t。Ithengotanewdogandchainedhim，andaduellingpistol，withahair-trigger。Theresultwassofarsatisfactorythatneithercouldbeapproachedwithsafety，andforsometimeIleftthemout，indifferently，duringthenight。Butthechainonedaygaveway，andthedog，evidentlyhavingnootherattachmenttothehouse，tooktheopportunitytoleave。HisplacewassoonfilledbytheNewfoundland，whosefidelityandsagacityI
havejustrecorded。
Spaceisoneofthedesirablefeaturesofmysuburbanresidence。I
donotknowthenumberofacresthegroundscontainexceptfromtheinordinatequantityofhoserequiredforirrigating。Iperformdaily，likesomegentleshepherd，uponaquarter-inchpipewithoutanyvisibleresult，andhavehadseriousthoughtsofcontractingwithsomedisbandedfirecompanyfortheirhoseandequipments。Itisquiteawalktothewood-house。Everydaysomenewfeatureofthegroundsisdiscovered。Myyoungestboywasonedaymissingforseveralhours。Hishead——apeculiarlyvenerableandstrikingobject——wasatlastdiscoveredjustabovethegrassatsomedistancefromthehouse。Onexaminationhewasfoundcomfortablyseatedinadisuseddrain，incompanywithasilverspoonandadeadrat。Onbeingremovedfromthislocalityhehowleddismallyandrefusedtobecomforted。
Theviewfrommysuburbanresidenceisfine。LoneMountain，withitswhiteobelisks，isasuggestiveifnotcheeringterminationofthevistainonedirection，whiletheoldreceivingvaultofYerbaBuenaCemeterylimitstheviewinanother。Mostofthefuneralswhichtakeplacepassmyhouse。Mychildren，withthecharmingimitativenessthatbelongstoyouth，havecaughtthespiritofthesepassingcorteges，andreproduceinthebackyard，withcreditableskill，thesalientfeaturesofthelugubriousprocession。
Adoll，fromwhosefeaturesalltracesofvitalityandexpressionhavebeenremoved，representsthedeceased。YetunfortunatelyI
havebeenobligedtopromisethemmoreactiveparticipationinthisceremonyatsomefuturetime，andIfearthattheylookanxiouslyforwardwiththeglowingimpatienceofyouthtothespeedyremovalofsomeoneofmycircleoffriends。Iamtoldthattheeldest，withtheunsophisticatedfranknessthatbelongstohisage，madeapersonalrequesttothateffecttooneofmyacquaintances。Onesingularresultofthefrequencyofthesefuneralsisthedevelopmentofacriticalandfastidioustasteinsuchmattersonthepartofmyselfandfamily。IfImaysoexpressmyself，withoutirreverence，weseldomturnoutforanythinglessthansixcarriages。AnynumberoverthisisusuallybreathlesslyannouncedbyBridgetas，"Here’sanother，mum，——andagoodlongone。"
Withtheseslightdrawbacksmysuburbanresidenceischarming。Totheseriouspoet，andwriterofelegiacverses，theaspectofNature，viewedfrommyveranda，issuggestive。Imyselfhaveexperiencedmomentswhenthe"sadmechanicexercise"ofversewouldhavebeenofinfiniterelief。Thefollowingstanzas，byayoungfriendwhohasbeenstoppingwithmeforthebenefitofhishealth，addressedtoaduckthatfrequentedasmallpondinthevicinityofmymansion，maybeworthyofperusal。IthinkIhavemettheideaconveyedinthefirstverseinsomeofHood’sprose，butasmyfriendassuresmethatHoodwastooconscientioustoappropriateanythingnothisown，IconcludeIammistaken。
LINESTOAWATER-FOWL。
（IntraMuros。）
I。
Fowl，thatsing’stinyonderpool，Wherethesummerwindsblowcool，AretherehydropathiccuresFortheillsthatmanendures？
Know’stthouPriessnitz？What？alackHastnootherwordbut"Quack？"
II。
Cleopatra’sbargemightpaleTothesplendorsofthytail，OrthestatelycaravelOfsome"high-poopedadmiral。"
NeveryetleftsuchawakeE’enthenavigatorDrake！
III。
Duxthouart，andleader，too，Heedingnotwhat’s"fallingdue，"
Knowingnotofdebtordun，——
Thoudostheednobillbutone；
And，thoughscarceconceivable，That’sabillReceivable，Made——thatthouthystarsmightstthank——
Payableatthenextbank。
ONAVULGARLITTLEBOY
Thesubjectofthisarticleisatpresentleaningagainstatreedirectlyoppositetomywindow。Hewearshiscapwiththewrongsidebefore，apparentlyfornootherobjectthanthatwhichseemsthemostobvious，——ofshowingmorethantheaveragequantityofverydirtyface。Hisclothes，whicharewornwithacertainbuttonlesseaseandfreedom，display，inthedifferentqualityoftheirfruit-stains，apleasingindicationoftheprogressoftheseasons。Thenoseofthisvulgarlittleboyturnsupattheend。
Ihavenoticedthisinseveralothervulgarlittleboys，althoughitisbynomeansimprobablethatyouthfulvulgaritymaybepresentwithoutthisfacialpeculiarity。Indeed，Iaminclinedtothebeliefthatitisrathertheresultofearlyinquisitiveness——offurtivepressuresagainstwindow-panes，andoflookingoverfences，orofthehabitofbitinglargeappleshastily——thananindicationofscornorjuvenilesuperciliousness。Thevulgarlittleboyismoreremarkableforhisobtrusivefamiliarity。Itismyexperienceofhispredispositiontothisqualitywhichhasinducedmetowritethisarticle。
Myacquaintancewithhimbeganinamomentofweakness。Ihaveanunfortunatepredilectiontocultivateoriginalityinpeople，evenwhenaccompaniedbyobjectionablecharacter。But，asIlackthefirmnessandskilfulnesswhichusuallyaccompanythistasteinothers，andenablethemtodropacquaintanceswhentroublesome，I
havesurroundedmyselfwithdiversunprofitablefriends，amongwhomIcountthevulgarlittleboy。Themannerinwhichhefirstattractedmyattentionwaspurelyaccidental。Hewasplayinginthestreet，andthedriverofapassingvehiclecutathim，sportively，withhiswhip。Thevulgarlittleboyrosetohisfeetandhurledafterhistormentorasinglesentenceofinvective。I
refrainfromrepeatingit，forIfeelthatIcouldnotdojusticetoithere。IfIrememberrightly，itconveyed，inaveryfewwords，areflectiononthelegitimacyofthedriver’sbirth；ithintedasuspicionofhisfather’sintegrity，andimpugnedthefairfameofhismother；itsuggestedincompetencyinhispresentposition，personaluncleanliness，andevincedascepticaldoubtofhisfuturesalvation。Ashisyouthfullipsclosedoverthelastsyllable，theeyesofthevulgarlittleboymetmine。Somethinginmylookemboldenedhimtowink。Ididnotrepeltheactionnorthecomplicityitimplied。FromthatmomentIfellintothepowerofthevulgarlittleboy，andhehasneverleftmesince。
Hehauntsmeinthestreetsandby-ways。Heaccostsme，wheninthecompanyoffriends，withrepulsivefreedom。HelingersaboutthegateofmydwellingtowaylaymeasIissueforthtobusiness。
Distanceheovercomesbymainstrengthoflungs，andhehailsmefromthenextstreet。Hemetmeatthetheatretheotherevening，anddemandedmycheckwiththeairofayoungfoot-pad。Ifoolishlygaveittohim，butre-enteringsometimeafter，andcomfortablyseatingmyselfintheparquet，Iwaselectrifiedbyhearingmynamecalledfromthegallerywiththeadditionofaplayfuladjective。
Itwasthevulgarlittleboy。Duringtheperformanceheprojectedspirally-twistedplaybillsinmydirection，andindulgedinarunningcommentaryonthesupernumerariesastheyentered。
To-dayhasevidentlybeenadullonewithhim。Iobservehewhistlesthepopularairsoftheperiodwithlessshrillnessandintensity。Providence，however，looksnotunkindlyonhim，anddeliversintohishandsasitweretwonicelittleboyswhohaveatthismomentinnocentlystrayedintoourstreet。Theyarepinkandwhitechildren，andaredressedalike，andexhibitacertainairofneatnessandrefinementwhichisalonesufficienttoawakentheantagonismofthevulgarlittleboy。Asighofsatisfactionbreaksfromhisbreast。Whatdoeshedo？Anyotherboywouldcontenthimselfwithsimplyknockingthehatsofftheirrespectiveheads，andsoventhissuperfluousvitalityinasingleact，besidesprecipitatingtheflightoftheenemy。Butthereareaestheticconsiderationsnottobeoverlooked；insultistobeaddedtotheinjuryinflicted，andinthestrugglesofthevictimsomejustificationistobesoughtforextrememeasures。Thetwonicelittleboysperceivetheirdangeranddrawclosertoeachother。
Thevulgarlittleboybeginsbyirony。Heaffectstobeoverpoweredbythemagnificenceoftheircostume。Headdressesme（acrossthestreetandthroughtheclosedwindow），andrequestsinformationiftherehaplybeacircusinthevicinity。Hemakesaffectionateinquiriesafterthehealthoftheirparents。Heexpressesafearofmaternalanxietyinregardtotheirwelfare。
Heofferstoconductthemhome。Onenicelittleboyfeeblyretorts；butalas！hiscorrectpronunciation；hisgrammaticalexactitude，andhismoderateepithetsonlyprovokeascreamofderisionfromthevulgarlittleboy，whonowrapidlychangeshistactics。Staggeringundertheweightofhisvituperation，theyfalleasyvictimstowhathewouldcallhis"dextermawley。"A
wailoflamentationgoesupfromourstreet。ButasthesubjectofthisarticleseemstorequireamorevigoroushandlingthanIhadpurposedtogiveit，Ifinditnecessarytoabandonmypresentdignifiedposition，seizemyhat，openthefrontdoor，andtryastrongermethod。
WAITINGFORTHESHIP。
AFORTPOINTIDYL。
Aboutanhour’sridefromthePlazathereisahighbluffwiththeoceanbreakinguninterruptedlyalongitsrockybeach。Thereareseveralcottagesonthesands，whichlookasiftheyhadrecentlybeencastupbyaheavysea。Thecultivatedpatchbehindeachtenementisfencedinbybamboos，brokenspars，anddriftwood。
Withitsfewgreencabbagesandturnip-tops，eachgardenlookssomethinglikeanaquariumwiththewaterturnedoff。Infactyouwouldnotbesurprisedtomeetamermandiggingamongthepotatoes，oramermaidmilkingaseacowhardby。
Nearthisplaceformerlyaroseagreatsemaphorictelegraphwithitsgauntarmstossedupagainstthehorizon。Ithasbeenreplacedbyanobservatory，connectedwithanelectricnervetotheheartofthegreatcommercialcity。Fromthispointtheincomingshipsaresignalled，andagaincheckedoffattheCityExchange。Andwhileweareherelookingfortheexpectedsteamer，letmetellyouastory。
Notlongago，asimple，hard-workingmechanichadamassedsufficientbydiligentlaborintheminestosendhomeforhiswifeandtwochildren。HearrivedinSanFranciscoamonthbeforethetimetheshipwasdue，forhewasawesternman，andhadmadetheoverlandjourneyandknewlittleofshipsorseasorgales。Heprocuredworkinthecity，butasthetimeapproachedhewouldgototheshippingofficeregularlyeveryday。Themonthpassed，buttheshipcamenot；thenamonthandaweek，twoweeks，threeweeks，twomonths，andthenayear。
Therough，patientface，withsoftlinesoverlyingitshardfeatures，whichhadbecomeadailyapparitionattheshippingagent’s，thendisappeared。Itturneduponeafternoonattheobservatoryasthesettingsunrelievedtheoperatorfromhisduties。Therewassomethingsochildlikeandsimpleinthefewquestionsaskedbythisstranger，touchinghisbusiness，thattheoperatorspentsometimetoexplain。Whenthemysteryofsignalsandtelegraphswasunfolded，thestrangerhadonemorequestiontoask。"Howlongmightavesselbeabsentbeforetheywouldgiveupexpectingher？"Theoperatorcouldn’ttell；itwoulddependoncircumstances。Woulditbeayear？Yes，itmightbeayear，andvesselshadbeengivenupforlostaftertwoyearsandhadcomehome。Thestrangerputhisroughhandontheoperator’s，andthankedhimforhis"troubil，"andwentaway。
Stilltheshipcamenot。StatelyclipperssweptintotheGate，andmerchantmenwentbywithcolorsflying，andthewelcominggunofthesteameroftenreverberatedamongthehills。Thenthepatientface，withtheoldresignedexpression，butabrighter，wistfullookintheeye，wasregularlymetonthecrowdeddecksofthesteamerasshedisembarkedherlivingfreight。Hemayhavehadadimlydefinedhopethatthemissingonesmightyetcomethisway，asonlyanotherroadoverthatstrangeunknownexpanse。Buthetalkedwithshipcaptainsandsailors，andeventhislasthopeseemedtofail。Whenthecarewornfaceandbrighteyeswerepresentedagainattheobservatory，theoperator，busilyengaged，couldnotsparetimetoanswerfoolishinterrogatories，sohewentaway。Butasnightfell，hewasseensittingontherockswithhisfaceturnedseaward，andwasseatedthereallthatnight。
Whenhebecamehopelesslyinsane，forthatwaswhatthephysicianssaidmadehiseyessobrightandwistful，hewascaredforbyafellow-craftsmanwhohadknownhistroubles。Hewasallowedtoindulgehisfancyofgoingouttowatchfortheship，inwhichshe"andthechildren"were，atnightwhennooneelsewaswatching。
Hehadmadeuphismindthattheshipwouldcomeinatnight。
This，andtheideathathewouldrelievetheoperator，whowouldbetiredwithwatchingallday，seemedtopleasehim。Sohewentoutandrelievedtheoperatoreverynight！
Fortwoyearstheshipscameandwent。Hewastheretoseetheoutward-boundclipper，andgreetheronherreturn。Hewasknownonlybyafewwhofrequentedtheplace。Whenhewasmissedatlastfromhisaccustomedspot，adayortwoelapsedbeforeanyalarmwasfelt。OneSunday，apartyofpleasure-seekersclamberingovertherockswereattractedbythebarkingofadogthathadrunonbeforethem。Whentheycameuptheyfoundaplainlydressedmanlyingtheredead。Therewereafewpapersinhispocket，——chieflyslipscutfromdifferentjournalsofoldmarinememoranda，——andhisfacewasturnedtowardsthedistantsea。