"I'mafraidoldMarthaisdying，"saidEmma。Jimwasnotthesortofpersontowhomonehadtobreaknewsgently。
"Nonsense，"hesaid；"Marthameanstolivetoahundred。Shetoldmeso，andshe'lldoit。"
"Shemaybeactuallydyingatthismoment，oritmayjustbethebeginningofthebreak-up，"persistedEmma，withafeelingofcontemptfortheslownessanddulnessoftheyoungman。
Agrinspreadoverhisgood-naturedfeatures。
"Itdon'tlooklikeit，"hesaid，noddingtowardstheyard。Emmaturnedtocatchthemeaningofhisremark。OldMarthastoodinthemiddleofamobofpoultryscatteringhandfulsofgrainaroundher。Theturkey-cock，withthebronzedsheenofhisfeathersandthepurple-redofhiswattles，thegamecock，withtheglowingmetalliclustreofhisEasternplumage，thehens，withtheirochresandbuffsandumbersandtheirscarletcombs，andthedrakes，withtheirbottle-greenheads，madeamedleyofrichcolour，inthecentreofwhichtheoldwomanlookedlikeawitheredstalkstandingamidariotousgrowthofgaily-huedflowers。Butshethrewthegraindeftlyamidthewildernessofbeaks，andherquaveringvoicecarriedasfarasthetwopeoplewhowerewatchingher。Shewasstillharpingonthethemeofdeathcomingtothefarm。
"Iknew'twerea-coming。There'sbeensignsan'
warnings。"
"Who'sdead，then，oldMother？"calledouttheyoungman。
"'TisyoungMisterLadbruk，"sheshrilledback；
"they'vejusta-carriedhisbodyin。Runoutofthewayofatreethatwascomingdownan'ranhisselfontoanironpost。Deadwhentheypickedunup。Aye，Iknew'twerecoming。"
Andsheturnedtoflingahandfulofbarleyatabelatedgroupofguinea-fowlthatcameracingtowardher。
****
Thefarmwasafamilyproperty，andpassedtotherabbit-shootingcousinasthenext-of-kin。EmmaLadbrukdriftedoutofitshistoryasabeethathadwanderedinatanopenwindowmightflititswayoutagain。Onacoldgreymorningshestoodwaiting，withherboxesalreadystowedinthefarmcart，tillthelastofthemarketproduceshouldbeready，forthetrainshewastocatchwasoflessimportancethanthechickensandbutterandeggsthatweretobeofferedforsale。Fromwhereshestoodshecouldseeanangleofthelonglatticedwindowthatwastohavebeencosywithcurtainsandgaywithbowlsofflowers。Intohermindcamethethoughtthatformonths，perhapsforyears，longaftershehadbeenutterlyforgotten，awhite，unheedingfacewouldbeseenpeeringoutthroughthoselatticedpanes，andaweakmutteringvoicewouldbeheardquaveringupanddownthoseflaggedpassages。Shemadeherwaytoanarrowbarredcasementthatopenedintothefarmlarder。OldMarthawasstandingatatabletrussingapairofchickensforthemarketstallasshehadtrussedthemfornearlyfourscoreyears。
THELULL
I'VEaskedLatimerSpringfieldtospendSundaywithusandstopthenight，"announcedMrs。Durmotatthebreakfast-table。
"Ithoughthewasinthethroesofanelection，"
remarkedherhusband。
"Exactly；thepollisonWednesday，andthepoormanwillhaveworkedhimselftoashadowbythattime。
Imaginewhatelectioneeringmustbelikeinthisawfulsoakingrain，goingalongslushycountryroadsandspeakingtodampaudiencesindraughtyschoolrooms，dayafterdayforafortnight。He'llhavetoputinanappearanceatsomeplaceofworshiponSundaymorning，andhecancometousimmediatelyafterwardsandhaveathoroughrespitefromeverythingconnectedwithpolitics。
Iwon'tlethimeventhinkofthem。I'vehadthepictureofCromwelldissolvingtheLongParliamenttakendownfromthestaircase，andeventheportraitofLordRosebery's'Ladas'removedfromthesmoking-room。AndVera，"addedMrs。Durmot，turningtohersixteen-year-oldniece，"becarefulwhatcolourribbonyouwearinyourhair；notblueoryellowonanyaccount；thosearetherivalpartycolours，andemeraldgreenororangewouldbealmostasbad，withthisHomeRulebusinesstothefore。"
"OnstateoccasionsIalwayswearablackribboninmyhair，"saidVerawithcrushingdignity。
LatimerSpringfieldwasarathercheerless，oldishyoungman，whowentintopoliticssomewhatinthespiritinwhichotherpeoplemightgointohalf-mourning。
Withoutbeinganenthusiast，however，hewasafairlystrenuousplodder，andMrs。Durmothadbeenreasonablynearthemarkinassertingthathewasworkingathighpressureoverthiselection。Therestfullullwhichhishostessenforcedonhimwasdecidedlywelcome，andyetthenervousexcitementofthecontesthadtoogreataholdonhimtobetotallybanished。
"Iknowhe'sgoingtosituphalfthenightworkinguppointsforhisfinalspeeches，"saidMrs。Durmotregretfully；"however，we'vekeptpoliticsatarm'slengthalltheafternoonandevening。Morethanthatwecannotdo。"
"Thatremainstobeseen，"saidVera，butshesaidittoherself。
Latimerhadscarcelyshuthisbedroomdoorbeforehewasimmersedinasheafofnotesandpamphlets，whileafountain-penandpocket-bookwerebroughtintoplayfortheduemarshallingofusefulfactsanddiscreetfictions。Hehadbeenatworkforperhapsthirty-fiveminutes，andthehousewasseeminglyconsecratedtothehealthyslumberofcountrylife，whenastifledsquealingandscufflinginthepassagewasfollowedbyaloudtapathisdoor。Beforehehadtimetoanswer，amuch-
encumberedVeraburstintotheroomwiththequestion；"I
say，canIleavethesehere？"
"These"wereasmallblackpigandalustyspecimenofblack-redgamecock。
Latimerwasmoderatelyfondofanimals，andparticularlyinterestedinsmalllivestockrearingfromtheeconomicpointofview；infact，oneofthepamphletsonwhichhewasatthatmomentengagedwarmlyadvocatedthefurtherdevelopmentofthepigandpoultryindustryinourruraldistricts；buthewaspardonablyunwillingtoshareevenacommodiousbedroomwithsamplesofhenroostandstyeproducts。
"Wouldn'ttheybehappiersomewhereoutside？"heasked，tactfullyexpressinghisownpreferenceinthematterinanapparentsolicitudefortheirs。
"Thereisnooutside，"saidVeraimpressively，"nothingbutawasteofdark，swirlingwaters。ThereservoiratBrinkleyhasburst。"
"Ididn'tknowtherewasareservoiratBrinkley，"
saidLatimer。
"Well，thereisn'tnow，it'sjollywellallovertheplace，andaswestandparticularlylowwe'rethecentreofaninlandseajustatpresent。Youseetheriverhasoverfloweditsbanksaswell。"
"Goodgracious！Haveanylivesbeenlost？"
"Heaps，Ishouldsay。Thesecondhousemaidhasalreadyidentifiedthreebodiesthathavefloatedpastthebilliard-roomwindowasbeingtheyoungmanshe'sengagedto。Eithershe'sengagedtoalargeassortmentofthepopulationroundhereorelseshe'sverycarelessatidentification。Ofcourseitmaybethesamebodycomingroundagainandagaininaswirl；Ihadn'tthoughtofthat。"
"Butweoughttogooutanddorescuework，oughtn'twe？"saidLatimer，withtheinstinctofaParliamentarycandidateforgettingintothelocallimelight。
"Wecan't，"saidVeradecidedly，"wehaven'tanyboatsandwe'recutoffbyaragingtorrentfromanyhumanhabitation。Myauntparticularlyhopedyouwouldkeeptoyourroomandnotaddtotheconfusion，butshethoughtitwouldbesokindofyouifyouwouldtakeinHartlepool'sWonder，thegamecock，youknow，forthenight。Yousee，thereareeightothergamecocks，andtheyfightlikefuriesiftheygettogether，sowe'reputtingoneineachbedroom。Thefowl-housesareallfloodedout，youknow。AndthenIthoughtperhapsyouwouldn'tmindtakinginthisweepiggie；he'sratheralittlelove，buthehasaviletemper。Hegetsthatfromhismother-notthatIliketosaythingsagainstherwhenshe'slyingdeadanddrownedinherstye，poorthing。Whathereallywantsisaman'sfirmhandtokeephiminorder。I'dtryandgrapplewithhimmyself，onlyI'vegotmychowinmyroom，youknow，andhegoesforpigswhereverhefindsthem。"
"Couldn'tthepiggointhebathroom？"askedLatimerfaintly，wishingthathehadtakenupasdeterminedastandonthesubjectofbedroomswineasthechowhad。
"Thebathroom？"Veralaughedshrilly。"It'llbefullofBoyScoutstillmorningifthehotwaterholdsout。"
"BoyScouts？"
"Yes，thirtyofthemcametorescueuswhilethewaterwasonlywaist-high；thenitroseanotherthreefeetorsoandwehadtorescuethem。We'regivingthemhotbathsinbatchesanddryingtheirclothesinthehot-
aircupboard，but，ofcourse，drenchedclothesdon'tdryinaminute，andthecorridorandstaircasearebeginningtolooklikeabitofcoastscenerybyTuke。TwooftheboysarewearingyourMeltonovercoat；Ihopeyoudon'tmind。"
"It'sanewovercoat，"saidLatimer，witheveryindicationofmindingdreadfully。
"You'lltakeeverycareofHartlepool'sWonder，won'tyou？"saidVera。"HismothertookthreefirstsatBirmingham，andhewassecondinthecockerelclasslastyearatGloucester。He'llprobablyroostontherailatthebottomofyourbed。Iwonderifhe'dfeelmoreathomeifsomeofhiswiveswereupherewithhim？Thehensareallinthepantry，andIthinkIcouldpickoutHartlepoolHelen；she'shisfavourite。"
LatimershowedabelatedfirmnessonthesubjectofHartlepoolHelen，andVerawithdrewwithoutpressingthepoint，havingfirstsettledthegamecockonhisextemporisedperchandtakenanaffectionatefarewellofthepigling。Latimerundressedandgotintobedwithallduespeed，judgingthatthepigwouldabateitsinquisitorialrestlessnessoncethelightwasturnedout。
Asasubstituteforacosy，straw-beddedstytheroomoffered，atfirstinspection，fewattractions，butthedisconsolateanimalsuddenlydiscoveredanapplianceinwhichthemostluxuriouslycontrivedpiggerieswerenotablydeficient。Thesharpedgeoftheunderneathpartofthebedwaspitchedatexactlytherightelevationtopermitthepiglingtoscrapehimselfecstaticallybackwardsandforwards，withanartistichumpingofthebackatthecrucialmomentandanaccompanyinggurgleoflong-drawndelight。Thegamecock，whomayhavefanciedthathewasbeingrockedinthebranchesofapine-tree，borethemotionwithgreaterfortitudethanLatimerwasabletocommand。Aseriesofslapsdirectedatthepig'sbodywereacceptedmoreasanadditionalandpleasingirritantthanasacriticismofconductorahinttodesist；evidentlysomethingmorethanaman'sfirmhandwasneededtodealwiththecase。Latimerslippedoutofbedinsearchofaweaponofdissuasion。Therewassufficientlightintheroomtoenablethepigtodetectthismanoeuvre，andtheviletemper，inheritedfromthedrownedmother，foundfullplay。Latimerboundedbackintobed，andhisconqueror，afterafewthreateningsnortsandchampingsofitsjaws，resumeditsmassageoperationswithrenewedzeal。DuringthelongwakefulhourswhichensuedLatimertriedtodistracthismindfromhisownimmediatetroublesbydwellingwithdecentsympathyonthesecondhousemaid'sbereavement，buthefoundhimselfmoreoftenwonderinghowmanyBoyScoutsweresharinghisMeltonovercoat。TheroleofSaintMartinmalgreluiwasnotonewhichappealedtohim。
Towardsdawnthepiglingfellintoahappyslumber，andLatimermighthavefolloweditsexample，butataboutthesametimeStuporHartlepooligavearousingcrow，clattereddowntothefloorandforthwithcommencedaspiritedcombatwithhisreflectioninthewardrobemirror。RememberingthatthebirdwasmoreorlessunderhiscareLatimerperformedHagueTribunalofficesbydrapingabath-towelovertheprovocativemirror，buttheensuingpeacewaslocalandshort-lived。Thedeflectedenergiesofthegamecockfoundnewoutletinasuddenandsustainedattackonthesleepingandtemporarilyinoffensivepigling，andtheduelwhichfollowedwasdesperateandembitteredbeyondanypossibilityofeffectiveintervention。Thefeatheredcombatanthadtheadvantageofbeingable，whenhardpressed，totakerefugeonthebed，andfreelyavailedhimselfofthiscircumstance；thepiglingneverquitesucceededinhurlinghimselfontothesameeminence，butitwasnotfromwantoftrying。
Neithersidecouldclaimanydecisivesuccess，andthestrugglehadbeenpracticallyfoughttoastandstillbythetimethatthemaidappearedwiththeearlymorningtea。
"Lor，sir，"sheexclaimedinundisguisedastonishment，"doyouwantthoseanimalsinyourroom？"
WANT！
Thepigling，asthoughawarethatitmighthaveoutstayeditswelcome，dashedoutatthedoor，andthegamecockfolloweditatamoredignifiedpace。
"IfMissVera'sdogseesthatpig-！"exclaimedthemaid，andhurriedofftoavertsuchacatastrophe。
AcoldsuspicionwasstealingoverLatimer'smind；
hewenttothewindowanddrewuptheblind。Alight，drizzlingrainwasfalling，buttherewasnotthefaintesttraceofanyinundation。
Somehalf-hourlaterhemetVeraonthewaytothebreakfast-room。
"Ishouldnotliketothinkofyouasadeliberateliar，"heobservedcoldly，"butoneoccasionallyhastodothingsonedoesnotlike。"
"AtanyrateIkeptyourmindfromdwellingonpoliticsallthenight，"saidVera。
Whichwas，ofcourse，perfectlytrue。
THEUNKINDESTBLOW
THEseasonofstrikesseemedtohaverunitselftoastandstill。Almosteverytradeandindustryandcallinginwhichadislocationcouldpossiblybeengineeredhadindulgedinthatluxury。ThelastandleastsuccessfulconvulsionhadbeenthestrikeoftheWorld'sUnionofZoologicalGardenattendants，who，pendingthesettlementofcertaindemands，refusedtoministerfurthertothewantsoftheanimalscommittedtotheirchargeortoallowanyotherkeeperstotaketheirplace。InthiscasethethreatoftheZoologicalGardensauthoritiesthatifthemen"cameout"theanimalsshouldcomeoutalsohadintensifiedandprecipitatedthecrisis。Theimminentprospectofthelargercarnivores，tosaynothingofrhinocerosesandbullbison，roamingatlargeandunfedintheheartofLondon，wasnotonewhichpermittedofprolongedconferences。TheGovernmentoftheday，whichfromitstendencytobeafewhoursbehindthecourseofeventshadbeennicknamedtheGovernmentoftheafternoon，wasobligedtointervenewithpromptitudeanddecision。AstrongforceofBluejacketswasdespatchedtoRegent'sParktotakeoverthetemporarilyabandoneddutiesofthestrikers。Bluejacketswerechoseninpreferencetolandforces，partlyonaccountofthetraditionalreadinessoftheBritishNavytogoanywhereanddoanything，partlybyreasonofthefamiliarityoftheaveragesailorwithmonkeys，parrots，andothertropicalfauna，butchieflyattheurgentrequestoftheFirstLordoftheAdmiralty，whowaskeenlydesirousofanopportunityforperformingsomepersonalactofunobtrusivepublicservicewithintheprovinceofhisdepartment。
"Ifheinsistsonfeedingtheinfantjaguarhimself，indefianceofitsmother'swishes，theremaybeanotherby-electioninthenorth，"saidoneofhiscolleagues，withahopefulinflectioninhisvoice。"By-electionsarenotverydesirableatpresent，butwemustnotbeselfish。"
Asamatteroffactthestrikecollapsedpeacefullywithoutanyoutsideintervention。Themajorityofthekeepershadbecomesoattachedtotheirchargesthattheyreturnedtoworkoftheirownaccord。
Andthenthenationandthenewspapersturnedwithasenseofrelieftohappierthings。Itseemedasifaneweraofcontentmentwasabouttodawn。Everybodyhadstruckwhocouldpossiblywanttostrikeorwhocouldpossiblybecajoledorbulliedintostriking，whethertheywantedtoornot。Thelighterandbrightersideoflifemightnowclaimsomeattention。AndconspicuousamongtheothertopicsthatsprangintosuddenprominencewasthependingFalvertoondivorcesuit。
TheDukeofFalvertoonwasoneofthosehumanHORS
D'OEUVRESthatstimulatethepublicappetiteforsensationwithoutgivingitmuchtofeedon。Asamerechildhehadbeenprecociouslybrilliant；hehaddeclinedtheeditorshipoftheANGLIANREVIEWatanagewhenmostboysarecontenttohavedeclinedMENSA，atable，andthoughhecouldnotclaimtohaveoriginatedtheFuturistmovementinliterature，his"LetterstoapossibleGrandson，"writtenattheageoffourteen，hadattractedconsiderablenotice。Inlaterdayshisbrilliancyhadbeenlessconspicuouslydisplayed。DuringadebateintheHouseofLordsonaffairsinMorocco，atamomentwhenthatcountry，forthefifthtimeinsevenyears，hadbroughthalfEuropetothevergeofwar，hehadinterpolatedtheremark"alittleMoorandhowmuchitis，"butinspiteoftheencouragingreceptionaccordedtothisonepoliticalutterancehewasnevertemptedtoafurtherdisplayinthatdirection。Itbegantobegenerallyunderstoodthathedidnotintendtosupplementhisnumeroustownandcountryresidencesbylivingovermuchinthepubliceye。
Andthenhadcometheunlooked-fortidingsoftheimminentproceedingsfordivorce。Andsuchadivorce！
Therewerecross-suitsandallegationsandcounter-
allegations，chargesofcrueltyanddesertion，everythinginfactthatwasnecessarytomakethecaseoneofthemostcomplicatedandsensationalofitskind。AndthenumberofdistinguishedpeopleinvolvedorcitedaswitnessesnotonlyembracedbothpoliticalpartiesintherealmandseveralColonialgovernors，butincludedanexoticcontingentfromFrance，Hungary，theUnitedStatesofNorthAmerica，andtheGrandDuchyofBaden。Hotelaccommodationofthemoreexpensivesortbegantoexperienceastrainonitsresources。"ItwillbequiteliketheDurbarwithouttheelephants，"exclaimedanenthusiasticladywho，todoherjustice，hadneverseenaDurbar。Thegeneralfeelingwasoneofthankfulnessthatthelastofthestrikeshadbeengotoverbeforethedatefixedforthehearingofthegreatsuit。
Asareactionfromtheseasonofgloomandindustrialstrifethathadjustpassedawaytheagenciesthatpurveyandstage-managesensationslaidthemselvesouttodotheirlevelbestonthismomentousoccasion。
MenwhohadmadetheirreputationsasspecialdescriptivewritersweremobilisedfromdistantcornersofEuropeandthefurthersideoftheAtlanticinordertoenrichwiththeirpensthedailyprintedrecordsofthecase；oneword-painter，whospecialisedindescriptionsofhowwitnessesturnpaleundercross-examination，wassummonedhurriedlybackfromafamousandprolongedmurdertrialinSicily，whereindeedhistalentswerebeingdecidedlywasted。Thumb-nailartistsandexpertkodakmanipulatorswereretainedatextravagantsalaries，andspecialdressreporterswereinhighdemand。AnenterprisingParisfirmofcostumebuilderspresentedthedefendantDuchesswiththreespecialcreations，tobeworn，marked，learned，andextensivelyreportedatvariouscriticalstagesofthetrial；andasforthecinematographagents，theirindustryandpersistencewasuntiring。FilmsrepresentingtheDukesayinggood-byetohisfavouritecanaryontheeveofthetrialwereinreadinessweeksbeforetheeventwasduetotakeplace；otherfilmsdepictedtheDuchessholdingimaginaryconsultationswithfictitiouslawyersormakingalightrepastoffspeciallyadvertisedvegetariansandwichesduringasupposedluncheoninterval。Asfarashumanforesightandhumanenterprisecouldgonothingwaslackingtomakethetrialasuccess。
TwodaysbeforethecasewasdownforhearingtheadvancereporterofanimportantsyndicateobtainedaninterviewwiththeDukeforthepurposeofgleaningsomefinalgrainsofinformationconcerninghisGrace'spersonalarrangementsduringthetrial。
"IsupposeImaysaythiswillbeoneofthebiggestaffairsofitskindduringthelifetimeofageneration，"
beganthereporterasanexcusefortheunsparingminutenessofdetailthathewasabouttomakequestfor。
"Isupposeso-ifitcomesoff，"saidtheDukelazily。
"If？"queriedthereporter，inavoicethatwassomethingbetweenagaspandascream。
"TheDuchessandIareboththinkingofgoingonstrike，"saidtheDuke。
"Strike！"
Thebalefulwordflashedoutinallitsoldhideousfamiliarity。Wastheretobenoendtoitsrecurrence？
"Doyoumean，"falteredthereporter，"thatyouarecontemplatingamutualwithdrawalofthecharges？"
"Precisely，"saidtheDuke。
"Butthinkofthearrangementsthathavebeenmade，thespecialreporting，thecinematographs，thecateringforthedistinguishedforeignwitnesses，thepreparedmusic-hallallusions；thinkofallthemoneythathasbeensunk-"
"Exactly，"saidtheDukecoldly，"theDuchessandI
haverealisedthatitiswewhoprovidethematerialoutofwhichthisgreatfar-reachingindustryhasbeenbuiltup。Widespreademploymentwillbegivenandenormousprofitsmadeduringthedurationofthecase，andwe，onwhomallthestressandracketfalls，willget-what？
Anunenviablenotorietyandtheprivilegeofpayingheavylegalexpenseswhicheverwaytheverdictgoes。Henceourdecisiontostrike。Wedon'twishtobereconciled；wefullyrealisethatitisagravesteptotake，butunlesswegetsomereasonableconsiderationoutofthisvaststreamofwealthandindustrythatwehavecalledintobeingweintendcomingoutofcourtandstayingout。
Goodafternoon。"
Thenewsofthislateststrikespreaduniversaldismay。Itsinaccessibilitytotheordinarymethodsofpersuasionmadeitpeculiarlyformidable。IftheDukeandDuchesspersistedinbeingreconciledtheGovernmentcouldhardlybecalledontointerfere。Publicopinionintheshapeofsocialostracismmightbebroughttobearonthem，butthatwasasfarascoercivemeasurescouldgo。Therewasnothingforitbutaconference，withpowerstoproposeliberalterms。Asitwas，severaloftheforeignwitnesseshadalreadydepartedandothershadtelegraphedcancellingtheirhotelarrangements。
Theconference，protracted，uncomfortable，andoccasionallyacrimonious，succeededatlastinarrangingforaresumptionoflitigation，butitwasafruitlessvictory。TheDuke，withatouchofhisearlierprecocity，diedofprematuredecayafortnightbeforethedatefixedforthenewtrial。
THEROMANCERS
ITwasautumninLondon，thatblessedseasonbetweentheharshnessofwinterandtheinsinceritiesofsummer；
atrustfulseasonwhenonebuysbulbsandseestotheregistrationofone'svote，believingperpetuallyinspringandachangeofGovernment。
MortonCrosbysatonabenchinasecludedcornerofHydePark，lazilyenjoyingacigaretteandwatchingtheslowgrazingpromenadeofapairofsnow-geese，themalelookingratherlikeanalbinoeditionoftherusset-huedfemale。OutofthecornerofhiseyeCrosbyalsonotedwithsomeinterestthehesitatinghoveringsofahumanfigure，whichhadpassedandrepassedhisseattwoorthreetimesatshorteningintervals，likeawarycrowabouttoalightnearsomepossiblyediblemorsel。
Inevitablythefigurecametoananchorageonthebench，withineasytalkingdistanceofitsoriginaloccupant。
Theuncared-forclothes，theaggressive，grizzledbeard，andthefurtive，evasiveeyeofthenew-comerbespoketheprofessionalcadger，themanwhowouldundergohoursofhumiliatingtale-spinningandrebuffratherthanadventureonhalfaday'sdecentwork。
Forawhilethenew-comerfixedhiseyesstraightinfrontofhiminastrenuous，unseeinggaze；thenhisvoicebrokeoutwiththeinsinuatinginflectionofonewhohasastorytoretailwellworthanyloiterer'swhiletolistento。
"It'sastrangeworld，"hesaid。
Asthestatementmetwithnoresponsehealteredittotheformofaquestion。
"Idaresayyou'vefoundittobeastrangeworld，mister？"
"AsfarasIamconcerned，"saidCrosby，"thestrangenesshaswornoffinthecourseofthirty-sixyears。"
"Ah，"saidthegreybeard，"Icouldtellyouthingsthatyou'dhardlybelieve。Marvellousthingsthathavereallyhappenedtome。"
"Nowadaysthereisnodemandformarvellousthingsthathavereallyhappened，"saidCrosbydiscouragingly；
"theprofessionalwritersoffictionturnthesethingsoutsomuchbetter。Forinstance，myneighbourstellmewonderful，incrediblethingsthattheirAberdeensandchowsandborzoishavedone；Ineverlistentothem。Ontheotherhand，Ihaveread'TheHoundoftheBaskervilles'threetimes。"
Thegreybeardmoveduneasilyinhisseat；thenheopenedupnewcountry。
"ItakeitthatyouareaprofessingChristian，"heobserved。
"IamaprominentandIthinkImaysayaninfluentialmemberoftheMussulmancommunityofEasternPersia，"saidCrosby，makinganexcursionhimselfintotherealmsoffiction。
Thegreybeardwasobviouslydisconcertedatthisnewchecktointroductoryconversation，butthedefeatwasonlymomentary。
"Persia。IshouldneverhavetakenyouforaPersian，"heremarked，withasomewhataggrievedair。
"Iamnot，"saidCrosby；"myfatherwasanAfghan。"
"AnAfghan！"saidtheother，smittenintobewilderedsilenceforamoment。Thenherecoveredhimselfandrenewedhisattack。
"Afghanistan。Ah！We'vehadsomewarswiththatcountry；now，Idaresay，insteadoffightingitwemighthavelearnedsomethingfromit。Averywealthycountry，Ibelieve。Norealpovertythere。"
Heraisedhisvoiceontheword"poverty"withasuggestionofintensefeeling。Crosbysawtheopeningandavoidedit。
"Itpossesses，nevertheless，anumberofhighlytalentedandingeniousbeggars，"hesaid；"ifIhadnotspokensodisparaginglyofmarvellousthingsthathavereallyhappenedIwouldtellyouthestoryofIbrahimandtheelevencamel-loadsofblotting-paper。AlsoIhaveforgottenexactlyhowitended。"
"Myownlife-storyisacuriousone，"saidthestranger，apparentlystiflingalldesiretohearthehistoryofIbrahim；"Iwasnotalwaysasyouseemenow。"
"Wearesupposedtoundergocompletechangeinthecourseofeverysevenyears，"saidCrosby，asanexplanationoftheforegoingannouncement。
"ImeanIwasnotalwaysinsuchdistressingcircumstancesasIamatpresent，"pursuedthestrangerdoggedly。
"Thatsoundsratherrude，"saidCrosbystiffly，"consideringthatyouareatpresenttalkingtoamanreputedtobeoneofthemostgiftedconversationalistsoftheAfghanborder。"
"Idon'tmeaninthatway，"saidthegreybeardhastily；"I'vebeenverymuchinterestedinyourconversation。Iwasalludingtomyunfortunatefinancialsituation。Youmayn'thardlybelieveit，butatthepresentmomentIamabsolutelywithoutafarthing。Don'tseeanyprospectofgettinganymoney，either，forthenextfewdays。Idon'tsupposeyou'veeverfoundyourselfinsuchaposition，"headded。
"InthetownofYom，"saidCrosby，"whichisinSouthernAfghanistan，andwhichalsohappenstobemybirthplace，therewasaChinesephilosopherwhousedtosaythatoneofthethreechiefesthumanblessingswastobeabsolutelywithoutmoney。Iforgetwhattheothertwowere。"
"Ah，Idaresay，"saidthestranger，inatonethatbetrayednoenthusiasmforthephilosopher'smemory；"anddidhepractisewhathepreached？That'sthetest。"
"Helivedhappilywithverylittlemoneyorresources，"saidCrosby。
"ThenIexpecthehadfriendswhowouldhelphimliberallywheneverhewasindifficulties，suchasIaminatpresent。"
"InYom，"saidCrosby，"itisnotnecessarytohavefriendsinordertoobtainhelp。AnycitizenofYomwouldhelpastrangerasamatterofcourse。"
Thegreybeardwasnowgenuinelyinterested。
Theconversationhadatlasttakenafavourableturn。
"Ifsomeone，likeme，forinstance，whowasinundeserveddifficulties，askedacitizenofthattownyouspeakofforasmallloantotideoverafewdays'
impecuniosity-fiveshillings，orperhapsaratherlargersum-woulditbegiventohimasamatterofcourse？"
"Therewouldbeacertainpreliminary，"saidCrosby；
"onewouldtakehimtoawine-shopandtreathimtoameasureofwine，andthen，afteralittlehigh-flownconversation，onewouldputthedesiredsuminhishandandwishhimgood-day。Itisaroundaboutwayofperformingasimpletransaction，butintheEastallwaysareroundabout。"
Thelistener'seyeswereglittering。
"Ah，"heexclaimed，withathinsneerringingmeaninglythroughhiswords，"Isupposeyou'vegivenupallthosegenerouscustomssinceyouleftyourtown。
Don'tpractisethemnow，Iexpect。"
"NoonewhohaslivedinYom，"saidCrosbyfervently，"andremembersitsgreenhillscoveredwithapricotandalmondtrees，andthecoldwaterthatrushesdownlikeacaressfromtheuplandsnowsanddashesunderthelittlewoodenbridges，noonewhoremembersthesethingsandtreasuresthememoryofthemwouldevergiveupasingleoneofitsunwrittenlawsandcustoms。TometheyareasbindingasthoughIstilllivedinthathallowedhomeofmyyouth。"
"ThenifIwastoaskyouforasmallloan-"beganthegreybeardfawningly，edgingnearerontheseatandhurriedlywonderinghowlargehemightsafelymakehisrequest，"ifIwastoaskyoufor，say-"
"Atanyothertime，certainly，"saidCrosby；"inthemonthsofNovemberandDecember，however，itisabsolutelyforbiddenforanyoneofourracetogiveorreceiveloansorgifts；infact，onedoesnotwillinglyspeakofthem。Itisconsideredunlucky。Wewillthereforeclosethisdiscussion。"
"ButitisstillOctober！"exclaimedtheadventurerwithaneager，angrywhine，asCrosbyrosefromhisseat；
"wantseightdaystotheendofthemonth！"
"TheAfghanNovemberbeganyesterday，"saidCrosbyseverely，andinanothermomenthewasstridingacrossthePark，leavinghisrecentcompanionscowlingandmutteringfuriouslyontheseat。
"Idon'tbelieveawordofhisstory，"hechatteredtohimself；"packofnastyliesfrombeginningtoend。
WishI'dtoldhimsotohisface。CallinghimselfanAfghan！"
Thesnortsandsnarlsthatescapedfromhimforthenextquarterofanhourwentfartosupportthetruthoftheoldsayingthattwoofatradeneveragree。
THESCHARTZ-METTERKLUMEMETHOD
LADYCARLOTTAsteppedoutontotheplatformofthesmallwaysidestationandtookaturnortwoupanddownitsuninterestinglength，tokilltimetillthetrainshouldbepleasedtoproceedonitsway。Then，intheroadwaybeyond，shesawahorsestrugglingwithamorethanampleload，andacarterofthesortthatseemstobearasullenhatredagainsttheanimalthathelpshimtoearnaliving。LadyCarlottapromptlybetookhertotheroadway，andputratheradifferentcomplexiononthestruggle。Certainofheracquaintanceswerewonttogiveherplentifuladmonitionastotheundesirabilityofinterferingonbehalfofadistressedanimal，suchinterferencebeing"noneofherbusiness。"Onlyoncehadsheputthedoctrineofnon-interferenceintopractice，whenoneofitsmosteloquentexponentshadbeenbesiegedfornearlythreehoursinasmallandextremelyuncomfortablemay-treebyanangryboar-pig，whileLadyCarlotta，ontheothersideofthefence，hadproceededwiththewater-coloursketchshewasengagedon，andrefusedtointerferebetweentheboarandhisprisoner。
Itistobefearedthatshelostthefriendshipoftheultimatelyrescuedlady。Onthisoccasionshemerelylostthetrain，whichgavewaytothefirstsignofimpatienceithadshownthroughoutthejourney，andsteamedoffwithouther。Sheborethedesertionwithphilosophicalindifference；herfriendsandrelationswerethoroughlywellusedtothefactofherluggagearrivingwithouther。Shewiredavaguenon-committalmessagetoherdestinationtosaythatshewascomingon"byanothertrain。"Beforeshehadtimetothinkwhathernextmovemightbeshewasconfrontedbyanimposinglyattiredlady，whoseemedtobetakingaprolongedmentalinventoryofherclothesandlooks。
"YoumustbeMissHope，thegovernessI'vecometomeet，"saidtheapparition，inatonethatadmittedofverylittleargument。
"Verywell，ifImustImust，"saidLadyCarlottatoherselfwithdangerousmeekness。
"IamMrs。Quabarl，"continuedthelady；"andwhere，pray，isyourluggage？"
"It'sgoneastray，"saidtheallegedgoverness，fallinginwiththeexcellentruleoflifethattheabsentarealwaystoblame；theluggagehad，inpointoffact，behavedwithperfectcorrectitude。"I'vejusttelegraphedaboutit，"sheadded，withanearerapproachtotruth。
"Howprovoking，"saidMrs。Quabarl；"theserailwaycompaniesaresocareless。However，mymaidcanlendyouthingsforthenight，"andsheledthewaytohercar。
DuringthedrivetotheQuabarlmansionLadyCarlottawasimpressivelyintroducedtothenatureofthechargethathadbeenthrustuponher；shelearnedthatClaudeandWilfridweredelicate，sensitiveyoungpeople，thatIrenehadtheartistictemperamenthighlydeveloped，andthatViolawassomethingorotherelseofamouldequallycommonplaceamongchildrenofthatclassandtypeinthetwentiethcentury。
"IwishthemnotonlytobeTAUGHT，"saidMrs。
Quabarl，"butINTERESTEDinwhattheylearn。Intheirhistorylessons，forinstance，youmusttrytomakethemfeelthattheyarebeingintroducedtothelife-storiesofmenandwomenwhoreallylived，notmerelycommittingamassofnamesanddatestomemory。French，ofcourse，Ishallexpectyoutotalkatmeal-timesseveraldaysintheweek。"
"IshalltalkFrenchfourdaysoftheweekandRussianintheremainingthree。"
"Russian？MydearMissHope，nooneinthehousespeaksorunderstandsRussian。"
"Thatwillnotembarrassmeintheleast，"saidLadyCarlottacoldly。
Mrs。Quabarl，touseacolloquialexpression，wasknockedoffherperch。Shewasoneofthoseimperfectlyself-assuredindividualswhoaremagnificentandautocraticaslongastheyarenotseriouslyopposed。
Theleastshowofunexpectedresistancegoesalongwaytowardsrenderingthemcowedandapologetic。Whenthenewgovernessfailedtoexpresswonderingadmirationofthelargenewly-purchasedandexpensivecar，andlightlyalludedtothesuperioradvantagesofoneortwomakeswhichhadjustbeenputonthemarket，thediscomfitureofherpatronessbecamealmostabject。Herfeelingswerethosewhichmighthaveanimatedageneralofancientwarfaringdays，onbeholdinghisheaviestbattle-elephantignominiouslydrivenoffthefieldbyslingersandjavelinthrowers。
Atdinnerthatevening，althoughreinforcedbyherhusband，whousuallyduplicatedheropinionsandlenthermoralsupportgenerally，Mrs。Quabarlregainednoneofherlostground。Thegovernessnotonlyhelpedherselfwellandtrulytowine，butheldforthwithconsiderableshowofcriticalknowledgeonvariousvintagematters，concerningwhichtheQuabarlswereinnowiseabletoposeasauthorities。Previousgovernesseshadlimitedtheirconversationonthewinetopictoarespectfulanddoubtlesssincereexpressionofapreferenceforwater。
WhenthisonewentasfarastorecommendawinefirminwhosehandsyoucouldnotgoveryfarwrongMrs。Quabarlthoughtittimetoturntheconversationintomoreusualchannels。
"WegotverysatisfactoryreferencesaboutyoufromCanonTeep，"sheobserved；"averyestimableman，I
shouldthink。"
"Drinkslikeafishandbeatshiswife，otherwiseaverylovablecharacter，"saidthegovernessimperturbably。
"MYDEARMissHope！Itrustyouareexaggerating，"
exclaimedtheQuabarlsinunison。
"Onemustinjusticeadmitthatthereissomeprovocation，"continuedtheromancer。"Mrs。Teepisquitethemostirritatingbridge-playerthatIhaveeversatdownwith；herleadsanddeclarationswouldcondoneacertainamountofbrutalityinherpartner，buttosouseherwiththecontentsoftheonlysoda-watersyphoninthehouseonaSundayafternoon，whenonecouldn'tgetanother，arguesanindifferencetothecomfortofotherswhichIcannotaltogetheroverlook。Youmaythinkmehastyinmyjudgments，butitwaspracticallyonaccountofthesyphonincidentthatIleft。"
"Wewilltalkofthissomeothertime，"saidMrs。
Quabarlhastily。
"Ishallneveralludetoitagain，"saidthegovernesswithdecision。
Mr。Quabarlmadeawelcomediversionbyaskingwhatstudiesthenewinstructressproposedtoinaugurateonthemorrow。
"Historytobeginwith，"sheinformedhim。
"Ah，history，"heobservedsagely；"nowinteachingthemhistoryyoumusttakecaretointeresttheminwhattheylearn。Youmustmakethemfeelthattheyarebeingintroducedtothelife-storiesofmenandwomenwhoreallylived-"
"I'vetoldherallthat，"interposedMrs。Quabarl。
"IteachhistoryontheSchartz-Metterklumemethod，"
saidthegovernessloftily。
"Ah，yes，"saidherlisteners，thinkingitexpedienttoassumeanacquaintanceatleastwiththename。
****
"Whatareyouchildrendoingouthere？"demandedMrs。Quabarlthenextmorning，onfindingIrenesittingratherglumlyattheheadofthestairs，whilehersisterwasperchedinanattitudeofdepresseddiscomfortonthewindow-seatbehindher，withawolf-skinrugalmostcoveringher。
"Wearehavingahistorylesson，"cametheunexpectedreply。"IamsupposedtobeRome，andViolaupthereistheshe-wolf；notarealwolf，butthefigureofonethattheRomansusedtosetstoreby-Iforgetwhy。ClaudeandWilfridhavegonetofetchtheshabbywomen。"
"Theshabbywomen？"
"Yes，they'vegottocarrythemoff。Theydidn'twantto，butMissHopegotoneoffather'sfives-batsandsaidshe'dgivethemanumberninespankingiftheydidn't，sothey'vegonetodoit。"
Aloud，angryscreamingfromthedirectionofthelawndrewMrs。Quabarlthitherinhothaste，fearfullestthethreatenedcastigationmightevennowbeinprocessofinfliction。Theoutcry，however，cameprincipallyfromthetwosmalldaughtersofthelodge-keeper，whowerebeinghauledandpushedtowardsthehousebythepantinganddishevelledClaudeandWilfrid，whosetaskwasrenderedevenmorearduousbytheincessant，ifnotveryeffectual，attacksofthecapturedmaidens'smallbrother。Thegoverness，fives-batinhand，satnegligentlyonthestonebalustrade，presidingoverthescenewiththecoldimpartialityofaGoddessofBattles。
Afuriousandrepeatedchorusof"I'lltellmuvver"rosefromthelodge-children，butthelodge-mother，whowashardofhearing，wasforthemomentimmersedinthepreoccupationofherwashtub。
Afteranapprehensiveglanceinthedirectionofthelodge（thegoodwomanwasgiftedwiththehighlymilitanttemperwhichissometimestheprivilegeofdeafness）Mrs。
Quabarlflewindignantlytotherescueofthestrugglingcaptives。
"Wilfrid！Claude！Letthosechildrengoatonce。
MissHope，whatonearthisthemeaningofthisscene？"
"EarlyRomanhistory；theSabineWomen，don'tyouknow？It'stheSchartz-Metterklumemethodtomakechildrenunderstandhistorybyactingitthemselves；
fixesitintheirmemory，youknow。Ofcourse，if，thankstoyourinterference，yourboysgothroughlifethinkingthattheSabinewomenultimatelyescaped，I
reallycannotbeheldresponsible。"
"Youmaybeverycleverandmodern，MissHope，"saidMrs。Quabarlfirmly，"butIshouldlikeyoutoleaveherebythenexttrain。Yourluggagewillbesentafteryouassoonasitarrives。"
"I'mnotcertainexactlywhereIshallbeforthenextfewdays，"saidthedismissedinstructressofyouth；
"youmightkeepmyluggagetillIwiremyaddress。Thereareonlyacoupleoftrunksandsomegolf-clubsandaleopardcub。"
"Aleopardcub！"gaspedMrs。Quabarl。Eveninherdeparturethisextraordinarypersonseemeddestinedtoleaveatrailofembarrassmentbehindher。
"Well，it'sratherleftoffbeingacub；it'smorethanhalf-grown，youknow。AfowleverydayandarabbitonSundaysiswhatitusuallygets。Rawbeefmakesittooexcitable。Don'ttroubleaboutgettingthecarforme，I'mratherinclinedforawalk。"
AndLadyCarlottastrodeoutoftheQuabarlhorizon。
TheadventofthegenuineMissHope，whohadmadeamistakeastothedayonwhichshewasduetoarrive，causedaturmoilwhichthatgoodladywasquiteunusedtoinspiring。ObviouslytheQuabarlfamilyhadbeenwoefullybefooled，butacertainamountofreliefcamewiththeknowledge。
"Howtiresomeforyou，dearCarlotta，"saidherhostess，whentheoverdueguestultimatelyarrived；"howverytiresomelosingyourtrainandhavingtostopovernightinastrangeplace。"
"Ohdear，no，"saidLadyCarlotta；"notatalltiresome-forme。"
THESEVENTHPULLET
"IT'SnotthedailygrindthatIcomplainof，"saidBlenkinthroperesentfully；"it'sthedullgreysamenessofmylifeoutsideofofficehours。Nothingofinterestcomesmyway，nothingremarkableoroutofthecommon。
EventhelittlethingsthatIdotrytofindsomeinterestindon'tseemtointerestotherpeople。Thingsinmygarden，forinstance。"
"Thepotatothatweighedjustovertwopounds，"saidhisfriendGorworth。
"DidItellyouaboutthat？"saidBlenkinthrope；"I
wastellingtheothersinthetrainthismorning。I
forgotifI'dtoldyou。"
"Tobeexactyoutoldmethatitweighedjustundertwopounds，butItookintoaccountthefactthatabnormalvegetablesandfreshwaterfishhaveanafter-
life，inwhichgrowthisnotarrested。"
"You'rejustliketheothers，"saidBlenkinthropesadly，"youonlymakefunofit。"
"Thefaultiswiththepotato，notwithus，"saidGorworth；"wearenotintheleastinterestedinitbecauseitisnotintheleastinteresting。Themenyougoupinthetrainwitheverydayarejustinthesamecaseasyourself；theirlivesarecommonplaceandnotveryinterestingtothemselves，andtheycertainlyarenotgoingtowaxenthusiasticoverthecommonplaceeventsinothermen'slives。Tellthemsomethingstartling，dramatic，piquantthathashappenedtoyourselfortosomeoneinyourfamily，andyouwillcapturetheirinterestatonce。Theywilltalkaboutyouwithacertainpersonalpridetoalltheiracquaintances。'ManIknowintimately，fellowcalledBlenkinthrope，livesdownmyway，hadtwoofhisfingersclawedcleanoffbyalobsterhewascarryinghometosupper。Doctorsaysentirehandmayhavetocomeoff。'Nowthatisconversationofaveryhighorder。Butimaginewalkingintoatennisclubwiththeremark：'Iknowamanwhohasgrownapotatoweighingtwoandaquarterpounds。'"
"Buthangitall，mydearfellow，"saidBlenkinthropeimpatiently，"haven'tIjusttoldyouthatnothingofaremarkablenatureeverhappenstome？"
"Inventsomething，"saidGorworth。SincewinningaprizeforexcellenceinScripturalknowledgeatapreparatoryschoolhehadfeltlicensedtobealittlemoreunscrupulousthanthecirclehemovedin。MuchmightsurelybeexcusedtoonewhoinearlylifecouldgivealistofseventeentreesmentionedintheOldTestament。
"Whatsortofthing？"askedBlenkinthrope，somewhatsnappishly。