WillyoubuytheoldSpeaker'schair?
Whichwaswarmandeasytositin,Andofthasbeenclean'd,Ideclare,Whereasitwasfoulerthanfitting。
SaysoldSimontheKing,SaysoldSimontheKing,Withhisale-dropthose,andhisMalmseynose,Sing,heyding,ding-a-ding,ding。
Willyoubuyanybaconflitches,Thefattestthateverwerespent?
They'rethesidesoftheoldcommitteesFedupintheLongParliament。
Here'sapairofbellowsandtongs,AndforasmallmatterI'llsellye'um,Theyaremadeofthepresbyter'slungs,Toblowupthecoalsofrebellion。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
IhadthoughttohavegiventhemonceTosomeblacksmithforhisforge;
ButnowIhaveconsider'don't,TheyareconsecratetotheChurch:
SoI'llgivethemuntosomequire,Theywillmakethebigorgansroar,AndthelittlepipestosqueakhigherThanevertheycouldbefore。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
Here'sacoupleofstoolsforsale,One'ssquare,andt'otherisround;
Betwixtthemboth,thetailOftheRumpfelldowntotheground。
WillyoubuytheState'scouncil-table,Whichwasmadeofthegoodwain-Scot?
TheframewasatotteringBabel,Toupholdth'Independentplot。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
Here'sthebesomofReformation,Whichshouldhavemadecleanthefloor;
Butitsweptthewealthoutofthenation,Andleftusdirtgoodstore。
Willyoubuythestate'sspinning-wheel,Whichspunfortheroper'strade?
Butbetterithadstoodstill,Fornowithasspunafairthread。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
Here'saglyster-pipewelltried,Whichwasmadeofabutcher'sstump,AndhasbeensafelyappliedTocurethecoldsoftheRump。
Here'salumpofpilgrim's-salve,Whichoncewasajusticeofpeace,WhoNollandthedevildidserve,Butnowitiscometothis,SaysoldSimon,etc。
Here'sarolloftheState'stobacco,Ifanygoodfellowwilltakeit;
NoVirginiahade'ersuchaSmack-o,AndI'lltellyouhowtheydidmakeit:
'Tisth'EngagementandCovenantcook'tUpwiththeabjurationoath,Andmanyofthemthathavetook'tComplainitwasfoulinthemouth。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
YettheashesmayhappilyserveTocurethescabofthenation,Whene'er'thasanitchtoswerveTorebellionbyinnovation。
Alanthornhereistobebought,Thelikewasscarceevergotten,FormanyplotsithasfoundoutBeforetheyeverwerethoughton。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
WillyoubuytheRump'sgreatsaddle,Withwhichitjockey'dthenation?
Andhereisthebitandthebridle,Andcurbofdissimulation;
Andhere'sthetrunk-hoseoftheRump,Andtheirfairdissemblingcloak;
AndaPresbyterianjump,WithanIndependentsmock。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
Willyoubuyaconscienceoftturn'd,WhichservedtheHigh-Courtofjustice,Andstretch'duntilEnglanditmourn'd,Buthellwillbuythatiftheworstis。
Here'sJoanCromwell'skitchen-stufftub,WhereinisthefatoftheRumpers,WithwhicholdNoll'shornsshedidrub,Whenhewasgotdrunkwithfalsebumbers。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
Here'sthepurseofthepublicfaith;
Here'sthemodeloftheSequestration,WhentheoldwivesupontheirgoodtrothLentthimblestoruinthenation。
Here'sDickCromwell'sProtectorship,AndhereareLambert'scommissions,AndhereisHughPetershisscrip,Cramm'dwithtumultuouspetitions。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
AndhereareoldNoll'sbrewingvessels,Andherearehisdrayandhisflings;
HereareHewson's(36)awlandhisbristles,Withdiverseotheroddthings:
AndwhatisthepricedothbelongToallthesemattersbeforeye?
I'llsellthemallforanoldsong,AndsoIdoendmystory。
SaysoldSimon,etc。
Ballad:TheCavalier'sFarewellToHisMistress,BeingCalledToTheWarrsThefollowingsongwasextractedfromtheMS。DiaryoftheRev。
JohnAdamson(afterwardsRectorofBurtonCoggles,Lincolnshire),commencingin1658;byacorrespondentofNotesandQueries,FirstSeries,Jan。18,1851。
FairFidelia,temptnomore,ImaynomorethydeityadoreNoroffertothyshrine,IserveonemoredivineAndfarrmoregreatthanyou:
Imustgoe,LestthefoeGainethecauseandwintheday。
Let'smarchbravelyon,Chargeyminthevan,OurcauseGod'sis,ThoughtheiroddsisTentoone。
Temptnomore,ImaynotyeeldAltho'thineeyesAkingdomemaysurprize:
Leaveoffthywantontoiles,Thehigh-bornePrinceofWalesIsmountedinthefield,Wheretheroyallgentryflocke。
ThoughaloneNoblyborneOfane'redecayingstocke。
Cavaliers,bebold,Bravelykeepyourhold,HethatloytersIsbytraytorsBoughtandsold。
Onekissemore,andthenfarewell;
Ohno,nomore,Ipritheegivemeo'er,-
Whycloudestthouthybeames?
IseebytheseextreamesAwoman'sheavenorhell。
PraytheKingmayhavehisowne,AndtheQueenMaybeseenWithherbabesonEngland'sthrone。
Rallyupyourmen,Oneshallvanquishten,Victory,weCometotrytheeOnceagen。
Ballad:TheLastNewsFromFrance[Fromvol。iii。oftheRoxburghBallads,intheBritishMuseum。]
ThelastnewsfromFrance,beingatruerelationoftheescapeoftheKingofScotsfromWorcestertoLondonandfromLondontoFrance,-whowasconveyedawaybyayounggentlemaninwoman'sapparel;theKingofScotsattendingonthissupposedgentlewomaninmannerofaserving-man。
Tune,"WhentheKingenjoyshisownagain。"
AllyouthatdodesiretoknowWhatisbecomeoftheKingo'Scots,IuntoyouwilltrulyshowAfterthefightofNorthernRats。
'TwasIdidconveyHisHighnessaway,Andfromalldangerssethimfree;-
Inwomanattire,Asreasondidrequire,AndtheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
Heofmeaservicedidcrave,Andoftentimestomestoodbare;
Inwoman'sapparelhewasmostbrave,Andonhischinhehadnohare;
WhereverIcameMyspeechesdidframeSowellmywaiting-mantofree,ThelikewasneverknownIthinkbyanyIone,FortheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
Mywaiting-manajewelhad,WhichIforwantofmoneysold;
BecausemyfortunewassobadWeturn'dourjewelintogold。
Agoodshiftindeed,Intimeofourneed,ThengladwasIandgladwashe;
OurcauseitdidadvanceUntilwecametoFrance,AndtheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
WewalkedthroughWestminsterHall,WherelawandjusticedothtakeplaceOurgriefwasgreat,ourcomfortsmall,Welooktgrimdeathallintheface。
Ilooktroundabout,AndmadenootherdoubtButIandmymanshouldtakenbe;
Thepeoplelittleknew,AsImaytelltoyou,TheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
FromthencewewenttothefatalplaceWherehisfatherlosthislife;
Andthenmymandidweepapace,Andsorrowwithhimthenwasrife。
Ibidhimpeace,Letsorrowcease,Forfearthatweshouldtakenbe。
ThegallantsinWhitehallDidlittleknowatallThattheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
TheKinghewasmyserving-man,Andthustheplotwedidcontrive:
IwentbythenameofMistressAnneWhenwetookwateratQueenhythe。
Aboattherewetook,AndLondonforsook,AndnowinFrancearrivedarewe。
Wegotawaybystealth,AndtheKingisingoodhealth,Andheshallnolongerwaitonme。
TheKingofDenmark'sdead,theysay,ThenCharlesisliketoruletheland;
InFrancehewillnolongerstay,AsIdorightlyunderstand。
Thatlandishisdue,Iftheybebuttrue,Andhewiththemdowellagree:
IheardabirdsingIfheoncebetheirking,Mymanwillthenmymasterbe。
NowHeavengrantthembettersuccessWiththeiryoungkingthanEnglandhad;
Freefromwarandfromdistress,Theirfortunemaynotbesobad;
Sincethecasethusstands,LetneighbouringlandsLaydowntheirarmsandatquietbe;
Butasformypart,IamgladwithallmyheartThatmyKingmustnowmymasterbe。
AndthusIhavedeclaredtoyouBywhatmeansweescapedaway;
Nowwebidourcaresadieu,ThoughtheKingdidlosetheday。
TohimIwastrue,Andthathewellknew;
'TisGodthatmusthiscomfortbe,ElseallourpolicyHadbeenbutfoolery,FortheKingnolongerwaitsonme。
Ballad:SongToTheFigureTwoFromvol。ii。oftheRoxburghBallads,intheBritishMuseum。
AmerrynewsongwhereinyoumayviewThedrinkinghealthsofajoviallcrew,Tot'happiereturnofthefigureofTWO。
ThefigureofTWOisapalpableallusiontoCharlesII。Tune,"Ragged,andtorn,andtrue。"
Ihavebeenatravellerlong,Andseentheconditionsofall;
Iseehoweachothertheywrong,Andtheweakeststillgoestothewall。
AndhereI'llbegintorelateThecrosseconditionofthoseThathinderourhappyfate,Andnowareturnedourfoes。
Here'sahealthtothefigureofTWO,Totherestoftheissuerenown'd;
We'llbidalloursorrowsadieu,WhenthefigureofTWOshallbecrown'd。
Icrossedtheoceanoflate,AndthereIdidmeetwithacrosse,Buthavingaprettyestate,Ineverlamentedmylosse:
Ineverlamentedmyharmes,AndyetIwaswondroussad;
Ifoundallthelandupinarms,AndIthoughtallthefolkehadbinmad。
Here'sahealth,etc。
Kindcountrymen,howfellyeout?
Ileftyouallquietandstill;
Butthingsarenowbroughtsoabout,Younothingbutplunderandkill;
Somedoeseemseeminglyholy,Andwouldbereformersofmen,Butwisdomdothlaughattheirfolly,Andsayesthey'llbechildrenagen,Here'sahealth,etc。
ButwoetothefigureofOne!
KingSolomontellethusso;
ButheshallbewrongedbynoneThathathtwostringstohisbow。
HowIlovethisfigureofTWO
Amongallthefiguresthatbe,I'llmakeitappearuntoyouIfthatyouwilllistentome。
Here'sahealth,etc。
ObservewhentheweatheriscoldIwearacaponmyhead,Butwish,ifImaybesobold,ThefigureofTWOinmybed。
TWOinmybedIdocrave,Andthatismyselfandmymate;
ButpraydonotthinkIwouldhaveTWOlargegreathornesonmypate。
Here'sahealth,etc。
SinceNaturehathgiventwohands,ButwhentheyarefoulImightscornthem;
Yetpeoplethusmuchunderstands,TWOfinewhitegloveswilladornthem。
TWOfeetfortobearupmybody,Nomorehadtheknightofthesun;
ButpeoplewouldthinkmeanoddyIftwoshoesIwouldnotputon。
Here'sahealth,etc。
ThefigureofTWOisathingThatwecannotwelllivewithout,Nomorethanwithoutagoodking,Thoughwebeneversostout;
Andthuswemaywellunderstand,Ifeverourtroublesshouldcease,TwoneedfulthingsinalandIsakingandajusticeofpeace。
Here'sahealth,etc。
Andnowfortodrawtoanend,Iwishagoodhappyconclusion,TheStatewouldsomuchstandourfriend,Toendthisunhappyconfusion;
Thewhichmightbedoneinatrice,IngivingofCaesarhisdue;
IfweweresohonestandwiseAstothinkofthefigureofTWO。
Here'sahealth,etc。
Ifanydesiretoknow,ThisriddleInowwillunfold,Itisamanwrappedinwoe,Whosefatheriswrappedinmould:
Sonowtoconcludemysong,ImentionhimsomuchtheratherBecausehehathsuffer'dsomewrong,Andbearsupthenameofhisfather。
Here'sahealth,etc。
Ballad:TheReformationWrittenintheyear1652,bySamuelButler。FromhisPosthumousWorks。
TellmenotofLordsandlaws,Rulesorreformation;
Allthat'sdonenotworthtwostrawsTothewelfareofthenation;
Ifmeninpowerdorantitstill,AndgivenoreasonbuttheirwillForalltheirdomination;
Oriftheydoanactthat'sjust,'Tisnotbecausetheywould,butmust,Togratifysomeparty'slust。
AllourexpenseofbloodandpurseHasyetproducednoprofit;
Menarestillasbadorworse,Andwillwhate'ercomesofit。
We'veshuffledoutandshuffledinTheperson,butretainthesin,Tomakeourgamethesurer;
Yetspightofallourpainsandskill,Theknavesallinthepackarestill,Andeverwere,andeverwill,Thoughsomethingnowdemurer。
Anditcanneverbeso,Sinceknavesarestillinfashion;
Menofsoulssobaseandlow,Meerbigotsofthenation;
Whosedesignsarepowerandwealth,Atwhichbyrapine,power,andstealth,Audaciouslytheyvent'reye;
Theylaytheirconsciencesaside,Andturnwitheverywindandtide,Puff'donbyignoranceandpride,Andalltolooklikegentry。
Crimesarenotpunish'd'causethey'recrimes,Butcausethey'relowandlittle:
MeanmenformeanfaultsinthesetimesMakesatisfactiontotittle;
WhilethoseinofficeandinpowerBoldlytheunderlingsdevour,Ourcobweblawscan'thold'em;
TheysellformanyathousandcrownThingswhichwereneveryettheirown,Andthisislawandcustomgrown,'Causethosedojudgewhosold'em。
Brothersstillwithbrothersbrawl,Andfortriflessue'em;
FortwopronounsthatspoilallContentiousMEUMandTUUM。
ThewarylawyerbuysandbuildsWhiletheclientsellshisfieldsTosacrificehisfury;
Andwhenhethinkst'obtainhisright,He'sbaffledofforbeatenquiteBythejudge'swill,orlawyer'sslight,Orignoranceofthejury。
SeethetradesmanhowhethrivesWithperpetualtrouble:
Howhecheatsandhowhestrives,Hisestatet'enlargeanddouble;
Extort,oppress,grindandencroach,Tobeasquireandkeepacoach,Andtobeoneo'th'quorum;
Whomaywith'sbrother-worshipssit,Andjudgewithoutlaw,fear,orwit,Poorpettythieves,thatnothingget,Andyetarebroughtbefore'em。
AndhiswaytogetallthisIsmeredissimulation;
Nofactiouslecturedoeshemiss,And'scapenoschismthat'sinfashion:
Butwithshorthairandshiningshoes,Hewithtwopensandnote-bookgoes,Andwinksandwritesatrandom;
Thencewithshortmealandtediousgrace,Inaloudtoneandpublicplace,Singswisdom'shymns,thattrotandpaceAsifGoliahscann'd'em。
ButwhenDeathbeginshisthreats,AndhisconsciencestrugglesTocalltomindhisformercheats,ThenatHeavenheturnsandjuggles:
Andoutofall'sill-gottenstoreHegivesadribblingtothepoor;
Anhospitalorschool-house;
Andthesuborn'dpriestforhishireQuitefreeshimfromth'infernalfire,Andplaceshiminth'angel'squire:
ThustheseJack-puddingsfoolus!
Allhegetsby'spainsi'th'close,Is,thathedy'dworthsomuch;
Whichheon'sdoubtfulseedbestows,Thatneithercarenorknowmuch:
Thenfortune'sfavourite,hisheir,Bredbaseandignorantandbare,Isblownuplikeabubble:
Whowonderingat'sownsuddenrise,Bypride,simplicity,andvice,Fallstohissports,drink,drabs,anddice,Andmakeallflylikestubble。
AndtheChurch,theothertwin,Whosemadzealenragedus,IsnotpurifiedapinByallthosebroilsinwhichth'engagedus:
Weourwivesturn'doutofdoors,Andtookinconcubinesandwhores,Tomakeanalteration;
Ourpulpitorsareproudandbold,Theytheirownwillsandfactionshold,Andsellsalvationstillforgold,Andhere'sourREFORMATION!
'TisamadnessthentomakeThrivingouremployment,Andlucreloveforlucre'ssake,Sincewe'vepossession,notenjoyment:
Letthetimesrunontheircourse,Foroppressionmakesthemworse,Wene'ershallbetterfind'em;
Letgrandeeswealthandpowerengross,Andhonour,too,whilewesitclose,AndlaughandtakeourplenteousdoseOfsack,andnevermind'em。
Ballad:UponTheGeneralPardonPassedByTheRumpFromabroadsideintheKing'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum。AfterCromwell'svictoryatWorcester,heprevailedontheParliamenttopassageneral,orquasi-general,amnestyforallpoliticaloffencescommittedpriortothattime。
Rejoice,rejoice,yeCavaliers,Forherecomesthatdispelsyourfears;
Ageneralpardonisnowpast,Whatwaslonglook'dfor,comesatlast。
Itpardonsallthatareundone;
ThePopene'ergrantedsuchaone:
Solong,solarge,sofull,sofree,OhwhatagloriousStatehavewe!
Yetdonotjoytoomuch,myfriends,Firstseehowwellthispardonends;
Forthoughithathagloriousface,Ifearthere'sin'tbutlittlegrace。
'Tissaidthemountainsoncebroughtforth,-
Andwhatbroughtthey?amouse,introth;
OurStateshavedonethelike,Idoubt,Inthistheirpardonnowsetout。
We'lllookito'er,then,ifyouplease,Andseewhereinitbringsusease:
Andfirst,itpardonswords,Ifind,AgainstourState-wordsarebutwind。
Hathanypray'dforth'Kingoflate,Andwish'dconfusiontoourState?
Andcall'dthemrebels?HemaycomeinAndpleadthispardonforthatsin。
Hasanycall'dKingCharlesthat'sdeadAmartyr-hethatlosthishead?
Andvillainsthosethatdidthefact?
Thatmanispardon'dbythisAct。
HathanysaidourParliamentIsuchaoneasGodne'ersent?
Orhathhewrit,andputinprint,Thathebelievesthedevil'sin't?
OrhathhesaidthereneverwereSuchtyrantsanywhereashere?
Thoughthisoffenceofhisbehigh,He'spardon'dforhisblasphemy。
Youseehowlargethispardonis,ItpardonsallourMERCURIES,(37)
Andpoetstoo,foryouknowtheyArepoor,andhavenotaughttopay。
Forwherethere'smoneytobegot,Ifindthispardonpardonsnot;
Malignantsthatwererichbefore,Shallnotbepardon'dtillthey'repoor。
Hathanyonebeentruetoth'Crown,Andforthatpaidhismoneydown,BythisnewActheshallbefree,Andpardon'dforhisloyalty。
Whohavetheirlandsconfiscatequite,Fornotcompoundingwhentheymight;
Ifthattheyknownothowtodig,Thispardongivesthemleavetobeg。
BeforethisActcameoutinprint,Wethoughttherehadbeencomfortin't;
Wedranksomehealthstothehigherpowers,Butnowwe'veseen'tthey'dneeddrinkours。
ForbythisActitisthoughtfitThatnomanshallhavebenefit,UnlesshefirstengagetobeArebeltoeternity。
Thus,inthispardonitisclearThatnothing'shereandnothing'sthere:
IthinkourStatesdomeantochokeusWiththisnewActofHOCUSPOCUS。
Well,sincethisAct'snotworthapin,We'llprayourStatestocallitin,FormostmenthinkitoughttobeBurntbythehandofGregory。
Then,toconclude,here'slittlejoyForthosethatprayVIVELEROY!
Butsincethey'llnotforgetourcrimes,We'llkeepourmirthtillbettertimes。
Ballad:AnOldSongOnOliver'sCourtWrittenintheyear1654,bySamuelButler。
HethatwouldanewcourtierbeAndofthelatecoyn'dgentry;
Abrotheroftheprick-earedcrew,Halfapresbyter,halfaJew,Whenheisdipp'dinJordan'sflood,Andwash'dhishandsinroyalblood,Lethimtoourcourtrepair,Wherealltradesandreligionsare。
Ifhecandevoutlypray,Feastuponafastingday,BelongerblessingawarmbitThanthecookwasdressingit;
Withcovenantsandoathsdispense,Betrayhislordforfortypence,Lethim,etc。
Ifhebeoneoftheeatingtribe,BothaPhariseeandaScribe,Andhathlearn'dthesnivellingtoneOfaflux'ddevotion;
CursingfromhissweatingtubTheCavalierstoBeelzebub,Lethim,etc。
Whosicklerthanthecityruff,Canchangehisbrewer'scoattobuff,Hisdray-carttoacoach,thebeastIntoFlandersmaresatleast;
Nay,haththearttomurderkings,LikeDavid,onlywithhisslings,Lethim,etc。
Ifhecaninverttheword,Turninghisploughsharetoasword,Hiscassocktoacoatofmail;
'Gainstbishopsandtheclergyrail;
ConvertPaul'schurchintothemews;
Makeanewcolonelofoldshoes,Lethim,etc。
WhohathcommissiontoconveyBothsexestoJAMAICA,TheretobegetnewbabesofgraceOnwencheshotterthantheplace,WhocarryintheirtailsafireWillratherscorchthanquenchdesire,Lethim,etc。
Ballad:TheParliamentRouted,OrHere'sAHouseToBeLetIhopethatEngland,aftermanyjarres,Shallbeatpeace,andgivenowaytowarres:
OLord,protectthegenerall,thatheMaybetheagentofourunitie。
WrittenuponthedissolutionoftheLongParliamentbyCromwell,onthe20thApril,1653,andextractedfromtheKing'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum。June3rd,1653。
Tothetuneof"Lucina,or,MerrilyandCherrily。"
Cheareup,kindcountrymen,benotdismay'd,TruenewsIcantellyeconcerningthenation;
Hotspiritsarequench'd,thetempestislayd,(Andnowwemayhopeforagoodreformation)。
TheParliamentboldandthecounsellofstateDoewishthembeyondsea,orelseatVirginie;
Fornowalltheirordersarequiteoutofdate,TwelveParliamentmenshallbesoldforpeny。
Fulltwelveyearsandmoretheserookstheyhavesat,Togullandtocozenalltrue-heartedpeople;
Ourgoldandoursilverhasmadethemsofat,ThattheylooktmorebigandmightythanPaul'ssteeple。
Thefreedomeofsubjecttheymuchdidpretend,Butsincetheyboreswayweneverhadany;
Foreverymemberpromotedself-end,TwelveParliamentmenarenowsoldforonepeny。
Theiractsandtheirorderswhichtheyhavecontrived,Wasstillinconclusiontomultiplyriches:
TheCommon-wealthsweetlybythesemenhavethrived,AsLancashiredidwiththejunctoofwitches。(38)
Oh!ourfreedomewaschain'dtotheEgyptianyoak,Asithathbeenfeltandenduredbymany,Stillmakingreligiontheirauthorandcloak,TwelveParliamentmenshallbesoldforapeny。
BothcitieandcountreyarealmostundoneBythesecaterpillars,whichswarm'dinthenation;
Theirimpsandtheirgoblinsdidupanddownerun,Excise-men,Imeane,allknavesofafashion:
Forallthegreattreasurethatdaylycamein,Thesouldierwantspay,'tiswellknownebyamany;
Tocheatandtocozentheyhelditnosinne,TwelveParliamentmenshallbesoldforapeny。
Thelandandthelivingswhichthesemenhavehad,'Twouldmakeoneadmirewhatusethey'vemadeofit,Withplateandwithjewelstheyhavebinwellclad,Thesouldierfaredhardwhilsttheygottheprofit。
OurgoldandoursilvertoHollandtheysent,Butbeingfoundout,thisisknownebyamany,Thatnoonewouldowneitforfeareofashent,TwelveParliamentmenaresoldforapeny。
'TisjudgedbymostpeoplethattheywerethecauseOfEnglandandHolland,theirwarringtogether,(39)
Bothfriendsanddearloverstobreakcivilllawes,Andincruellmannertokilloneanother。
Whatcaredtheyhowmanydidlosetheirdearlives,Sotheybythebargaindidgetpeople'smoney,Sittingsecurelikebeesintheirhives?
ButtwelveParliamentmenarenowsoldforapeny。
THESECONDPART
Tothesametune。
Theyvoted,unvoted,asfancydidguide,Topasseawaytime,butincreasingtheirtreasure(WhenJackisoncock-horsehee'lgallopingride,Butfallingatlast,hee'lrepentitatleisure)。
Thewidow,thefatherlesse,gentryandpoore,Thetradesmanandcitizen,withagreatmany,Havesuffer'dfulldearlytoheapuptheirstore;
ButtwelveParliamentmenshallbesoldforapeny。
TheseburdensandgrievancesEnglandhathfelt,Solongandsoheavy,ourheartsaree'enbroken,Ourplate,goldandsilver,tothemselvesthey'vedealt(Allthisistootrue,ingoodtimebeitspoken)。
Foramantorisehighandatlasttofalllow,Itisadiscredit:thislotfalstomany,But'tisnogreatmatterthesementoserveso,TwelveParliamentmennowaresoldforapeny。
Thegenerall(40)perceivingtheirlustfulldesireTocovetmoretreasure,beingpuftwithambition,Bytheiractsandtheirorderstosetallonfire,Pretendingreligiontoroutsuperstition:
HebravelycommandedthesouldierstogoeIntheParliament-house,indefianceofany;
Towhichtheyconsented,andnowyoudoeknowThattwelveParliamentmenmaybesoldforapeny。
Thesouldiersundauntedlaidholdonthemace,Andoutofthechairetheyremovedthespeaker:
Thegreatoneswastheninapittifullcase,AndTaveecrydout,Allhercoldmustforsakeher。(41)
Thustheywererouted,plucktoutbytheeares,TheHousewassooneemptyandridofamanyUsurpers,thatsatetherethisthirteenlongyeares;
TwelveParliamentmenmaybesoldforapeny。
TotheTowerofLondonawaytheyweresent,Astheyhavesentothersbythemcaptivated;
OhwhatwillbecomeofthisoldParliamentAndalltheircompeers,thatwereroyallystated。
WhattheyhavedeservedIwishtheymayhave,And'tisthedesireIknowofamany;
Forustohavefreedome,ohthatwillbebrave!
ButtwelveParliamentmenmaybesoldforapeny。
Let'sprayforthegenerallandallhisbravetraine,HemaybeaninstrumentforEngland'sblessing,Appointedinheaventofreeusagaine,-
Forthisisthewayofourburdensredressing:
ForEnglandtobeingloryoncemore,Itwouldsatisfy,Iknow,agreatmany;
ButendingIsay,asIsaidbefore,TwelveParliamentmennowaresoldforapeny。
Ballad:AChristmasSongWhenTheRumpWasFirstDissolvedFromtheKing'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum。TheRumpParliament,inanexcessofPuritanicacerbity,hadabolishedtheobservanceofChristmas,andforbiddentheeatingofpuddingsandpies,assavouringofPopery。
Tune-"Itellthee,Dick。"
ThisChristmastime'tisfitthatweShouldfeast,andsing,andmerrybe。
Itisatimeofmirth;
ForneversincetheworldbeganMorejoyfulnewswasbroughttomanThanatourSaviour'sbirth。
Butsuchhavebeenthesetimesoflate,Thatholidaysareoutofdate,Andholinesstoboot;
FortheythatdodespiseandscornTokeepthedaythatChristwasborn,Wantholinessnodoubt。
ThatParliamentthattookawayTheobservationofthatday,Weknowitwasnotfree;
Forifithad,suchactsasthoseHadne'erbeenseeninverseorprose,Youmayconcludewithme。
'TwasthatAssemblydidmaintain'Twaslawtokilltheirsovereign,Whobythatlawmustdie;
ThoughGod'sanointedonesaresuch,Whichsubjectsshouldnotdaretotouch,Muchlesstocrucify。
'Twasthatwhichturn'dourbishopsoutOfhouseandhome,bothbranchandroot,Andgavenoreasonwhy;
Andallourclergydidexpel,Thatwouldnotdolikethatrebel-
Thisnomancandeny。
ItwasthatParliamentthattookOutofourchurchesourSERVICEBOOK,Abookwithoutcompare;
AndmadeGod'shouse(toallourgriefs),Thathouseofprayer,adenofthiefs'
Bothhereandeverywhere。
Theyhadnoheadformanyyears,Norheart(ImeantheHouseofPeers),Andyetitdidnotdie;
Oftheselongsinceitwasbereft,Andnothingbutthetailwasleft,YouknowaswellasI。
Andinthistailwasatongue,Lenthal(42)Imean,whosefamehathrungIncountryandincity;
Notforhisworthoreloquence,Butforarebeltohisprince,Andneitherwisenorwitty。
ThisSpeaker'swordsmustneedsbewind,Sincetheyproceededfrombehind;
Besides,youwayremember,Fromthencenoactcouldbediscreet,Norcouldthesenseo'theHousebesweetWhereAtkinswasamember。
Thistale'snowdone,theSpeaker'sdumb,Thankstothetrumpetandthedrum;
AndnowIhopetoseeAParliamentthatwillrestoreAllthingsthatwereundonebefore,ThatwemayChristiansbe。
Ballad:AFreeParliamentLitanyFromtheKing'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum-(A。D。1655。)Tothetuneof"AnOldCourtieroftheQueen's。"
Moreballads!-here'saspickandspannewsupplication,ByorderofaCommitteefortheReformation,Tobereadinallchurchesandchapelsofthisnation,Uponpainofslaveryandsequestration。
FromfoolsandknavesinourParliamentfree,LIBERANOS,DOMINE。
Fromthosethatha'morereligionandlessconsciencethantheirfellows;
Fromarepresentativethat'sfearfulandzealous;
Fromastartingjadishpeoplethatistroubledwiththeyellows,Andapriestthatblowsthecoal(acrackinhisbellows);
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromshepherdsthatleadtheirflocksintothebriars,Andthenfleece'em;fromvow-breakersandking-tryers;
OfChurchandCrownlands,frombothsellersandbuyers;
Fromthechildrenofhimthatisthefatherofliars;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
FromthedoctrineanddisciplineofNOWANDANON,PreserveusandourwivesfromJohnT。andSaintJohn,Likemasterlikeman,everywaybutone,-
Themasterhasalargeconscience,andthemanhasnone;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Frommajor-generals,armyofficers,andthatphanatiquecrew;
Fromtheparboil'dpimpScot,andfromGood-facetheJew;
FromoldMildmay,thatinCheapsidemistookhisqueu,Andfromhimthatwon'tpledge-Givethedevilhisdue;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromlong-windedspeeches,andnotawiseword;
Fromagospelministrysettledbythesword;
FromtheactofaRump,thatstinkswhen'tisstirr'd;
Fromaknightofthepost,andacobblinglord;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromalltherichpeoplethatha'madeuspoor;
FromaSpeakerthatcreepstotheHousebyaback-door;
Fromthatbadger,Robinson(thatlimpsandbitessore);
Andthatdoginadoublet,Arthur-thatwilldosonomore;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromacertainslyknavewithabeastlyname;
FromaParliamentthat'swild,andapeoplethat'stame;
FromSkippon,Titchbourne,Ireton,-andanotherofthesame;
Fromadung-hillcock,andahenofthegame;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
FromallthosethatsatintheHighCourtofJustice;
Fromusurpersthatstylethemselvesthepeople'strustees;
FromanoldRump,inwhichneitherprofitnorgustis,Andfromtherecoveryofthatwhichnowinthedustis;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromabackslidingsaintthatpretendt'acquiesce;
Fromcrossingofproverbs(let'umhangthatconfess);
Fromasnivelingcause,inapontificalldress,Andtwolawyers,withthedevilandhisdaminamess;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromthosethattroublethewaterstomendthefishing,AndfighttheLord'sbattlesunderthedevil'scommission,Suchaseatupthenation,whilstthegovernment'sa-dishing;
Andfromapeoplewhenitshouldbedoing,standswishing;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromaneverlastingmock-parliament-andfromNONE;
FromStrafford'soldfriends-Harry,Jack,andJohn;
Fromoursolicitor'swolf-lawdeliverourKing'sson;
AndfromtheresurrectionoftheRumpthatisdeadandgone;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromforeigninvasionandcommotionsathome;
Fromourpresentdistraction,andfromworktocome;
FromthesamehandagainSmectymnus,orthebum,AndfromtakingGenevainourwaytoRome;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromahundredthousandpoundtaxtokeepknavesbythescore(Butitiswellgiventothesethatturn'dthoseoutofdoor);
Fromundoingourselvesinplaisteringoldsores;
Hethatsetthema-work,lethimpaytheirscores;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromsaintsandtenderconsciencesinbuff;
FromMounsoninafoam,andHasleriginahuff;
Frombothmenandwomenthatthinktheyneverhaveenough;
Andfromafool'sheadthatlooksthroughachainandaduff;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Fromthosethatwoulddividethegen'ralandthecity;
FromHarryMartin'sgirl,thatwasneithersweetnorpretty;
Fromafactionthathasneitherbrainnorpity:
Fromthemercyofaphanatiquecommittee;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Preserveus,goodHeaven,fromentrustingthoseThatha'muchtogetandlittletolose;
Thatmurther'dthefather,andthesonwoulddepose(Suretheycan'tbeourfriendsthataretheircountry'sfoes);
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
FromBradshaw'spresumption,andfromHoyle'sdespairs;
Fromrottenmembers,blindguides,preachingaldermen,andfalsemay'rs;
Fromlongknives,longears,longparliaments,andlongpray'rs;
Inmercytothisnation-Deliverusandourheirs;
Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
Ballad:TheMockSongByT。J。WithareplybyAlex。Brome-(A。D。1657。)
Hold,hold,quaffnomore,ButrestoreIfyoucanwhatyou'velostbyyourdrinking:
Threekingdomsandcrowns,Withtheircitiesandtowns,WhiletheKingandhisprogeny'ssinking。
Thestudsinyourcheekshaveobscuredhisstar,boys,Yourdrinkingmiscarriagesinthelatewar,boys,Havebroughthisprerogativenowtothewar,boys。
Throw,throwdowntheglass!
He'sanassThatextractsallhisworthfromCanary;
ThatvalourwillshrinkThat'sonlygoodindrink;
'Twasthecupmadethecamptomiscarry。
Youthoughtintheworldthere'snopowercouldtameye,Youtippledandwhoredtillthefoeovercameye;
God'snigsandNe'erstir,sirs,hasvanquish'dGoddamnme。
Fly,flyfromthecoast,Oryou'relost,Andthewaterwillrunwherethedrinkwent;
Fromhenceyoumustslink,Ifyouhavenochink,'Tisthecourseoftheroyaldelinquent;
Youlovetoseebeer-bowlsturn'doverthethumbwell,Youlikethreefairgamesters,fourdice,andadrumwell,Butyou'dasliefseethedevilasFairfaxorCromwell。
Drink,drinknottheround,You'llbedrown'dInthesourceofyoursackandyoursonnets;
TryoncemoreyourfateFortheKingagainsttheState,Andgobarteryourbeaversforbonnets。
Youseehowthey'recharm'dbytheKing'senchanters,AndthereforepackhencetoVirginiaforplanters,Foranactandtwored-coatswillroutalltheranters。
THEANSWER
ByAlex。Brome。
Stay,stay,pratenomore,Lestthybrain,likethypurse,runthescore,Thoughthoustrain'stit;
ThosearetraitorsingrainThatofsackdocomplain,Andrailbyitsownpoweragainstit。
Thosekingdomsandcrownswhichyourpoetrypities,Arefall'nbytheprideandhypocrisyofcities,Andnotbythosebrainsthatlovesackandgoodditties;
TheK。andhisprogenyhadkeptthemfromsinking,Hadtheyhadnoworsefoesthantheladsthatlovedrinking,Wethattippleha'noleisureforplottingorthinking。
HeisanassThatdoththrowdownhimselfwithaglassOfCanary;
Hethat'squietwillthinkMuchthebetterofdrink,'Causethecupsmadethecamptomiscarry。
Youwhorewhilewetipple,andthere,myfriend,youlie,YoursportsdiddetermineinthemonthofJuly;
There'slessfraudinplaindammethanyourslybymytruly;
'Tissackmakesourbloodsbothpurerandwarmer,Weneednotyourpriestorthefemininecharmer,ForabowlofCanary'sawholesuitofarmour。
Hold,hold,notsofast,Tippleon,forthereisnosuchhasteTobegoing;
Wedrowningmayfear,ButyourendwillbethereWherethereisneitherswimmingnorrowing。
Weweregamestersalike,andourstakeswerebothdown,boys,ButFortunedidfavouryou,beingherown,boys;
Andwhowouldnotventureacastforacrown,boys?
Sinceweweartherightcolours,hetheworstofourfoesisThatgoestotraduce,andfondlysupposesThatCromwell'sanenemytosackandrednoses。
Then,then,quaffitround,Nodeceitinabrimmerisfound;
Here'snoswearing:
BeerandalemakesyouprateOftheChurchandtheState,Wantingotherdiscourseworththehearing。
Thisstrumpetyourmuseis,toballadorflatter,Orrail,andyourbetterswithfrothtobespatter,Andyourtalk'salldismalsandgunpowdermatter;
Butwe,whileoldsackdoesdivinelyinspireus,Areactivetodowhatourrulersrequireus,Andattemptsuchexploitsastheworldshalladmireus。
Ballad:AsCloseAsAGooseBySamuelButler-(A。D。1657。)ThisballadridiculesthetenderoftheCrownofEnglandtoOliverCromwellbyAldermanPack,M。P。
forLondon。
AscloseasagooseSattheParliament-house,Tohatchtheroyalgull;
Aftermuchfiddle-faddleTheeggprovedaddle,AndOlivercameforthNOLL。
YetoldQueenMadge,(43)
Thoughthingsdonotfadge,WillservetobequeenofaMay-pole;
TwoPrincesofWales,(44)
ForWhitsun-ales,Andhergrace,MaidMarionClaypole。(45)
InarobeofcowhideSatyeastyPride,(46)
Withhisdaggerandhissling;
HewasthepertinenstpeerOfallthatwerethere,T'advisewithsuchaking。
AgreatphilosopherHadagooseforhisloverThatfollow'dhimdayandnight:
Ifitbeatruestory,Orbutanallegory,Itmaybebothwaysright。
Strickland(47)andhisson,Bothcastintoone,Weremeantforasinglebaron;
Butwhentheycametosit,TherewasnotwitEnoughinthembothtoserveforone。
Wherefore'twasthoughtgoodToaddHoneywood,ButwhentheycametotrialEachoneprovedafool,Yetthreeknavesinthewhole,AndthatmadeupaPAIR-ROYAL。
Ballad:ThePrisonersWrittenwhenO。C。attemptedtobeKing。ByAlex。Brome。
Come,abrimmer(mybullies),drinkwholeonesornothing,Nowhealthshavebeenvoteddown;
'Tissackthatcanheatus,wecarenotforclothing,Agallon'saswarmasagown;
'CausetheParliamentseesNortheformernortheseCouldengageustodrinktheirhealth,TheymayvotethatweshallDrinknohealthsatall,NottoKingnortoCommonwealth,Sothatnowwemustventuretodrink'embystealth。
Butwe'vefoundoutawaythat'sbeyondalltheirthinking;
Tokeepupgoodfellowshipstill,We'lldrinktheirdestructionthatwoulddestroydrinking,-
Let'umvoteTHATahealthiftheywill。
Thosementhatdidfight,AnddidpraydayandnightFortheParliamentanditsattendant,DidmakeallthatbustleTheKingouttojustle,AndbringintheIndependent,Butnowweallclearlyseewhatwastheendon't。
Nowtheiridolsthrowndownwiththeirsooter-kinalso,Aboutwhichtheydidmakesuchapother;
Andtho'theircontrivancedidmakeonethingtofallso,Wehavedrankourselvesintoanother;
Andnow(mylads)weMaystillCavaliersbe,InspiteoftheCommittee'sfrown;
Wewilldrinkandwe'llsing,AndeachhealthtoourKingShallbeloyallydrunkinthe'CROWN,'
Whichshallbethestandardineverytown。
Theirpolitickwould-be'sdobutshowthemselvesassesThatothermen'scallinginvade;
Weonlyconversewithpotsandwithglasses,Lettherulersalonewiththeirtrade;
TheLyonoftheTowerThereestatesdoesdevour,Withoutshowinglawfor'torreason;
IntoprisonwegetForthecrimecalleddebt,Whereourbodiesandbrainswedoseason,Andthatisne'ertakenformurderortreason。
Whereourdittiesstillbe,Give'smoredrink,give'smoredrink,boys。
Letthosethatarefrugaltakecare;
Ourgaolersandwewilllivebyourchink,boys,Whileourcreditorslivebytheair;
Hereweliveatourease,Andgetcraftandgrease,'Tillwe'vemerrilyspentallourstore;
Then,asdrinkbroughtusin,'Twillredeemusagen;
Wegotinbecausewewerepoor,Andswearourselvesoutontheverysamescore。
Ballad:TheProtectingBrewerThiswasapparentlywrittenasaparodyontheBrewer,inPillstopurgeMelancholy,1682。TheoriginalwastoocomplimentarytoOliverCromwell,assertedbytheRoyaliststohavebeenabrewerinearlylife,tosuitthetasteoftheCavaliers,andhencethealterationmadeinit。Suchcomplimentsasthefollowingmusthaveproceededfromawriteroftheoppositeparty。
SomeChristiankingsbegantoquake,AndsaidWiththebrewernoquarrelwe'llmake,We'lllethimalone;ashebrewslethimbake;
Whichnobodycandeny。
Hehadastrongandaverystoutheart,AndthoughttobemadeanEmperorfor't,*****
Whichnobodycandeny。
ABrewermaybeaburgessgrave,Andcarrythemattersofineandsobrave,Thathethebettermayplaytheknave,Whichnobodycandeny。
AbrewermayputonaNabalface,AndmarchtothewarswithsuchagraceThathemaygetacaptain'splace;
Whichnobody,etc。
AbrewermayspeaksowondrouswellThathemayrise(strangethingstotell),Andsobemadeacolonel;
Whichnobody,etc。
Abrewermaymakehisfoestoflee,Andrisehisfortunes,sothatheLieutenant-generalmaybe;
Whichnobody,etc。
Abrewermaybeallinall,Andraisehispowers,bothgreatandsmall,Thathemaybealordgeneral;
Whichnobody,etc。
Abrewermaybelikeafoxinacub,Andteachalectureoutofatub,Andgivethewickedworldarub;
Whichnobody,etc。
Abrewer,by'sexciseandrate,Willpromisehisarmyheknowswhat,Andsetuponthecollege-gate;
Whichnobody,etc。
MethinksIhearonesaytome,PraywhymaynotabrewerbeLordChancelloro'theUniversity?
Whichnobody,etc。
AbrewermaybeasboldasHector,Whenashehaddrankhiscupo'Nectar,AndabrewermaybeaLordProtector;
Whichnobody,etc。
Nowhereremainsthestrangestthing,HowthisbrewerabouthisliquordidbringTobeanemperororaking;
Whichnobody,etc。
Abrewermaydowhathewill,AndrobtheChurchandState,tosellHissouluntothedevilinhell;
Whichnobody,etc。
Ballad:TheArraignmentOfTheDevilForStealingAwayPresidentBradshawJohnBradshaw,whohadpresidedoverthecourtofjusticewhichcondemnedCharlesI。tothescaffold,andwhobyhisextremerepublicanprincipleshadrenderedhimselfobnoxioustoCromwell,beganagaintobedistinguishedinpublicaffairsaftertheProtector'sdeath,andwaselectedPresidentoftheCouncilofState。Hedidnotlivelongtoenjoythishonour,butdied,accordingtosomeauthorities,onthe31stOctober,1659。Chalmersplaceshisdeathonthe22ndofNovemberinthatyear。
Tothetuneof"Well-a-day,well-a-day。"
Ifyou'llhearnewsthat'sill,Gentlemen,gentlemen,Againstthedevil,IwillBetherelator;
Arraignedhemustbe,Forthatfeloniously,'Thoutduesolemnity,Hetookatraitor。
JohnBradshawwashisname,Howitstinks!howitstinks!
Who'llmakewithblackerfamePilateunknown。
ThisworsethanworseofthingsCondemn'dthebestofkings,And,whatmoreguiltyetbrings,Knew'twashisown。
VirtueinCharlesdidseemEagerly,eagerly,AndvillainyinhimTovyeforglory。
MajestysocompleatAndimpudencesogreatTillthattimenevermet:-
Buttomystory。
Accuserstherewillbe,Bitterones,bitterones,Morethanone,two,orthree,Allfullofspight;
Hangmanandtreesotall,Bridge,tower,andcity-wall,Kiteandcrow,whichwereallRobb'doftheirright。