WillyoubuytheoldSpeaker'schair?
  Whichwaswarmandeasytositin,Andofthasbeenclean'd,Ideclare,Whereasitwasfoulerthanfitting。
  SaysoldSimontheKing,SaysoldSimontheKing,Withhisale-dropthose,andhisMalmseynose,Sing,heyding,ding-a-ding,ding。
  Willyoubuyanybaconflitches,Thefattestthateverwerespent?
  They'rethesidesoftheoldcommitteesFedupintheLongParliament。
  Here'sapairofbellowsandtongs,AndforasmallmatterI'llsellye'um,Theyaremadeofthepresbyter'slungs,Toblowupthecoalsofrebellion。
  SaysoldSimon,etc。
  IhadthoughttohavegiventhemonceTosomeblacksmithforhisforge;
  ButnowIhaveconsider'don't,TheyareconsecratetotheChurch:
  SoI'llgivethemuntosomequire,Theywillmakethebigorgansroar,AndthelittlepipestosqueakhigherThanevertheycouldbefore。
  SaysoldSimon,etc。
  Here'sacoupleofstoolsforsale,One'ssquare,andt'otherisround;
  Betwixtthemboth,thetailOftheRumpfelldowntotheground。
  WillyoubuytheState'scouncil-table,Whichwasmadeofthegoodwain-Scot?
  TheframewasatotteringBabel,Toupholdth'Independentplot。
  SaysoldSimon,etc。
  Here'sthebesomofReformation,Whichshouldhavemadecleanthefloor;
  Butitsweptthewealthoutofthenation,Andleftusdirtgoodstore。
  Willyoubuythestate'sspinning-wheel,Whichspunfortheroper'strade?
  Butbetterithadstoodstill,Fornowithasspunafairthread。
  SaysoldSimon,etc。
  Here'saglyster-pipewelltried,Whichwasmadeofabutcher'sstump,AndhasbeensafelyappliedTocurethecoldsoftheRump。
  Here'salumpofpilgrim's-salve,Whichoncewasajusticeofpeace,WhoNollandthedevildidserve,Butnowitiscometothis,SaysoldSimon,etc。
  Here'sarolloftheState'stobacco,Ifanygoodfellowwilltakeit;
  NoVirginiahade'ersuchaSmack-o,AndI'lltellyouhowtheydidmakeit:
  'Tisth'EngagementandCovenantcook'tUpwiththeabjurationoath,Andmanyofthemthathavetook'tComplainitwasfoulinthemouth。
  SaysoldSimon,etc。
  YettheashesmayhappilyserveTocurethescabofthenation,Whene'er'thasanitchtoswerveTorebellionbyinnovation。
  Alanthornhereistobebought,Thelikewasscarceevergotten,FormanyplotsithasfoundoutBeforetheyeverwerethoughton。
  SaysoldSimon,etc。
  WillyoubuytheRump'sgreatsaddle,Withwhichitjockey'dthenation?
  Andhereisthebitandthebridle,Andcurbofdissimulation;
  Andhere'sthetrunk-hoseoftheRump,Andtheirfairdissemblingcloak;
  AndaPresbyterianjump,WithanIndependentsmock。
  SaysoldSimon,etc。
  Willyoubuyaconscienceoftturn'd,WhichservedtheHigh-Courtofjustice,Andstretch'duntilEnglanditmourn'd,Buthellwillbuythatiftheworstis。
  Here'sJoanCromwell'skitchen-stufftub,WhereinisthefatoftheRumpers,WithwhicholdNoll'shornsshedidrub,Whenhewasgotdrunkwithfalsebumbers。
  SaysoldSimon,etc。
  Here'sthepurseofthepublicfaith;
  Here'sthemodeloftheSequestration,WhentheoldwivesupontheirgoodtrothLentthimblestoruinthenation。
  Here'sDickCromwell'sProtectorship,AndhereareLambert'scommissions,AndhereisHughPetershisscrip,Cramm'dwithtumultuouspetitions。
  SaysoldSimon,etc。
  AndhereareoldNoll'sbrewingvessels,Andherearehisdrayandhisflings;
  HereareHewson's(36)awlandhisbristles,Withdiverseotheroddthings:
  AndwhatisthepricedothbelongToallthesemattersbeforeye?
  I'llsellthemallforanoldsong,AndsoIdoendmystory。
  SaysoldSimon,etc。
  Ballad:TheCavalier'sFarewellToHisMistress,BeingCalledToTheWarrsThefollowingsongwasextractedfromtheMS。DiaryoftheRev。
  JohnAdamson(afterwardsRectorofBurtonCoggles,Lincolnshire),commencingin1658;byacorrespondentofNotesandQueries,FirstSeries,Jan。18,1851。
  FairFidelia,temptnomore,ImaynomorethydeityadoreNoroffertothyshrine,IserveonemoredivineAndfarrmoregreatthanyou:
  Imustgoe,LestthefoeGainethecauseandwintheday。
  Let'smarchbravelyon,Chargeyminthevan,OurcauseGod'sis,ThoughtheiroddsisTentoone。
  Temptnomore,ImaynotyeeldAltho'thineeyesAkingdomemaysurprize:
  Leaveoffthywantontoiles,Thehigh-bornePrinceofWalesIsmountedinthefield,Wheretheroyallgentryflocke。
  ThoughaloneNoblyborneOfane'redecayingstocke。
  Cavaliers,bebold,Bravelykeepyourhold,HethatloytersIsbytraytorsBoughtandsold。
  Onekissemore,andthenfarewell;
  Ohno,nomore,Ipritheegivemeo'er,-
  Whycloudestthouthybeames?
  IseebytheseextreamesAwoman'sheavenorhell。
  PraytheKingmayhavehisowne,AndtheQueenMaybeseenWithherbabesonEngland'sthrone。
  Rallyupyourmen,Oneshallvanquishten,Victory,weCometotrytheeOnceagen。
  Ballad:TheLastNewsFromFrance[Fromvol。iii。oftheRoxburghBallads,intheBritishMuseum。]
  ThelastnewsfromFrance,beingatruerelationoftheescapeoftheKingofScotsfromWorcestertoLondonandfromLondontoFrance,-whowasconveyedawaybyayounggentlemaninwoman'sapparel;theKingofScotsattendingonthissupposedgentlewomaninmannerofaserving-man。
  Tune,"WhentheKingenjoyshisownagain。"
  AllyouthatdodesiretoknowWhatisbecomeoftheKingo'Scots,IuntoyouwilltrulyshowAfterthefightofNorthernRats。
  'TwasIdidconveyHisHighnessaway,Andfromalldangerssethimfree;-
  Inwomanattire,Asreasondidrequire,AndtheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
  Heofmeaservicedidcrave,Andoftentimestomestoodbare;
  Inwoman'sapparelhewasmostbrave,Andonhischinhehadnohare;
  WhereverIcameMyspeechesdidframeSowellmywaiting-mantofree,ThelikewasneverknownIthinkbyanyIone,FortheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
  Mywaiting-manajewelhad,WhichIforwantofmoneysold;
  BecausemyfortunewassobadWeturn'dourjewelintogold。
  Agoodshiftindeed,Intimeofourneed,ThengladwasIandgladwashe;
  OurcauseitdidadvanceUntilwecametoFrance,AndtheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
  WewalkedthroughWestminsterHall,WherelawandjusticedothtakeplaceOurgriefwasgreat,ourcomfortsmall,Welooktgrimdeathallintheface。
  Ilooktroundabout,AndmadenootherdoubtButIandmymanshouldtakenbe;
  Thepeoplelittleknew,AsImaytelltoyou,TheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
  FromthencewewenttothefatalplaceWherehisfatherlosthislife;
  Andthenmymandidweepapace,Andsorrowwithhimthenwasrife。
  Ibidhimpeace,Letsorrowcease,Forfearthatweshouldtakenbe。
  ThegallantsinWhitehallDidlittleknowatallThattheKinghimselfdidwaitonme。
  TheKinghewasmyserving-man,Andthustheplotwedidcontrive:
  IwentbythenameofMistressAnneWhenwetookwateratQueenhythe。
  Aboattherewetook,AndLondonforsook,AndnowinFrancearrivedarewe。
  Wegotawaybystealth,AndtheKingisingoodhealth,Andheshallnolongerwaitonme。
  TheKingofDenmark'sdead,theysay,ThenCharlesisliketoruletheland;
  InFrancehewillnolongerstay,AsIdorightlyunderstand。
  Thatlandishisdue,Iftheybebuttrue,Andhewiththemdowellagree:
  IheardabirdsingIfheoncebetheirking,Mymanwillthenmymasterbe。
  NowHeavengrantthembettersuccessWiththeiryoungkingthanEnglandhad;
  Freefromwarandfromdistress,Theirfortunemaynotbesobad;
  Sincethecasethusstands,LetneighbouringlandsLaydowntheirarmsandatquietbe;
  Butasformypart,IamgladwithallmyheartThatmyKingmustnowmymasterbe。
  AndthusIhavedeclaredtoyouBywhatmeansweescapedaway;
  Nowwebidourcaresadieu,ThoughtheKingdidlosetheday。
  TohimIwastrue,Andthathewellknew;
  'TisGodthatmusthiscomfortbe,ElseallourpolicyHadbeenbutfoolery,FortheKingnolongerwaitsonme。
  Ballad:SongToTheFigureTwoFromvol。ii。oftheRoxburghBallads,intheBritishMuseum。
  AmerrynewsongwhereinyoumayviewThedrinkinghealthsofajoviallcrew,Tot'happiereturnofthefigureofTWO。
  ThefigureofTWOisapalpableallusiontoCharlesII。Tune,"Ragged,andtorn,andtrue。"
  Ihavebeenatravellerlong,Andseentheconditionsofall;
  Iseehoweachothertheywrong,Andtheweakeststillgoestothewall。
  AndhereI'llbegintorelateThecrosseconditionofthoseThathinderourhappyfate,Andnowareturnedourfoes。
  Here'sahealthtothefigureofTWO,Totherestoftheissuerenown'd;
  We'llbidalloursorrowsadieu,WhenthefigureofTWOshallbecrown'd。
  Icrossedtheoceanoflate,AndthereIdidmeetwithacrosse,Buthavingaprettyestate,Ineverlamentedmylosse:
  Ineverlamentedmyharmes,AndyetIwaswondroussad;
  Ifoundallthelandupinarms,AndIthoughtallthefolkehadbinmad。
  Here'sahealth,etc。
  Kindcountrymen,howfellyeout?
  Ileftyouallquietandstill;
  Butthingsarenowbroughtsoabout,Younothingbutplunderandkill;
  Somedoeseemseeminglyholy,Andwouldbereformersofmen,Butwisdomdothlaughattheirfolly,Andsayesthey'llbechildrenagen,Here'sahealth,etc。
  ButwoetothefigureofOne!
  KingSolomontellethusso;
  ButheshallbewrongedbynoneThathathtwostringstohisbow。
  HowIlovethisfigureofTWO
  Amongallthefiguresthatbe,I'llmakeitappearuntoyouIfthatyouwilllistentome。
  Here'sahealth,etc。
  ObservewhentheweatheriscoldIwearacaponmyhead,Butwish,ifImaybesobold,ThefigureofTWOinmybed。
  TWOinmybedIdocrave,Andthatismyselfandmymate;
  ButpraydonotthinkIwouldhaveTWOlargegreathornesonmypate。
  Here'sahealth,etc。
  SinceNaturehathgiventwohands,ButwhentheyarefoulImightscornthem;
  Yetpeoplethusmuchunderstands,TWOfinewhitegloveswilladornthem。
  TWOfeetfortobearupmybody,Nomorehadtheknightofthesun;
  ButpeoplewouldthinkmeanoddyIftwoshoesIwouldnotputon。
  Here'sahealth,etc。
  ThefigureofTWOisathingThatwecannotwelllivewithout,Nomorethanwithoutagoodking,Thoughwebeneversostout;
  Andthuswemaywellunderstand,Ifeverourtroublesshouldcease,TwoneedfulthingsinalandIsakingandajusticeofpeace。
  Here'sahealth,etc。
  Andnowfortodrawtoanend,Iwishagoodhappyconclusion,TheStatewouldsomuchstandourfriend,Toendthisunhappyconfusion;
  Thewhichmightbedoneinatrice,IngivingofCaesarhisdue;
  IfweweresohonestandwiseAstothinkofthefigureofTWO。
  Here'sahealth,etc。
  Ifanydesiretoknow,ThisriddleInowwillunfold,Itisamanwrappedinwoe,Whosefatheriswrappedinmould:
  Sonowtoconcludemysong,ImentionhimsomuchtheratherBecausehehathsuffer'dsomewrong,Andbearsupthenameofhisfather。
  Here'sahealth,etc。
  Ballad:TheReformationWrittenintheyear1652,bySamuelButler。FromhisPosthumousWorks。
  TellmenotofLordsandlaws,Rulesorreformation;
  Allthat'sdonenotworthtwostrawsTothewelfareofthenation;
  Ifmeninpowerdorantitstill,AndgivenoreasonbuttheirwillForalltheirdomination;
  Oriftheydoanactthat'sjust,'Tisnotbecausetheywould,butmust,Togratifysomeparty'slust。
  AllourexpenseofbloodandpurseHasyetproducednoprofit;
  Menarestillasbadorworse,Andwillwhate'ercomesofit。
  We'veshuffledoutandshuffledinTheperson,butretainthesin,Tomakeourgamethesurer;
  Yetspightofallourpainsandskill,Theknavesallinthepackarestill,Andeverwere,andeverwill,Thoughsomethingnowdemurer。
  Anditcanneverbeso,Sinceknavesarestillinfashion;
  Menofsoulssobaseandlow,Meerbigotsofthenation;
  Whosedesignsarepowerandwealth,Atwhichbyrapine,power,andstealth,Audaciouslytheyvent'reye;
  Theylaytheirconsciencesaside,Andturnwitheverywindandtide,Puff'donbyignoranceandpride,Andalltolooklikegentry。
  Crimesarenotpunish'd'causethey'recrimes,Butcausethey'relowandlittle:
  MeanmenformeanfaultsinthesetimesMakesatisfactiontotittle;
  WhilethoseinofficeandinpowerBoldlytheunderlingsdevour,Ourcobweblawscan'thold'em;
  TheysellformanyathousandcrownThingswhichwereneveryettheirown,Andthisislawandcustomgrown,'Causethosedojudgewhosold'em。
  Brothersstillwithbrothersbrawl,Andfortriflessue'em;
  FortwopronounsthatspoilallContentiousMEUMandTUUM。
  ThewarylawyerbuysandbuildsWhiletheclientsellshisfieldsTosacrificehisfury;
  Andwhenhethinkst'obtainhisright,He'sbaffledofforbeatenquiteBythejudge'swill,orlawyer'sslight,Orignoranceofthejury。
  SeethetradesmanhowhethrivesWithperpetualtrouble:
  Howhecheatsandhowhestrives,Hisestatet'enlargeanddouble;
  Extort,oppress,grindandencroach,Tobeasquireandkeepacoach,Andtobeoneo'th'quorum;
  Whomaywith'sbrother-worshipssit,Andjudgewithoutlaw,fear,orwit,Poorpettythieves,thatnothingget,Andyetarebroughtbefore'em。
  AndhiswaytogetallthisIsmeredissimulation;
  Nofactiouslecturedoeshemiss,And'scapenoschismthat'sinfashion:
  Butwithshorthairandshiningshoes,Hewithtwopensandnote-bookgoes,Andwinksandwritesatrandom;
  Thencewithshortmealandtediousgrace,Inaloudtoneandpublicplace,Singswisdom'shymns,thattrotandpaceAsifGoliahscann'd'em。
  ButwhenDeathbeginshisthreats,AndhisconsciencestrugglesTocalltomindhisformercheats,ThenatHeavenheturnsandjuggles:
  Andoutofall'sill-gottenstoreHegivesadribblingtothepoor;
  Anhospitalorschool-house;
  Andthesuborn'dpriestforhishireQuitefreeshimfromth'infernalfire,Andplaceshiminth'angel'squire:
  ThustheseJack-puddingsfoolus!
  Allhegetsby'spainsi'th'close,Is,thathedy'dworthsomuch;
  Whichheon'sdoubtfulseedbestows,Thatneithercarenorknowmuch:
  Thenfortune'sfavourite,hisheir,Bredbaseandignorantandbare,Isblownuplikeabubble:
  Whowonderingat'sownsuddenrise,Bypride,simplicity,andvice,Fallstohissports,drink,drabs,anddice,Andmakeallflylikestubble。
  AndtheChurch,theothertwin,Whosemadzealenragedus,IsnotpurifiedapinByallthosebroilsinwhichth'engagedus:
  Weourwivesturn'doutofdoors,Andtookinconcubinesandwhores,Tomakeanalteration;
  Ourpulpitorsareproudandbold,Theytheirownwillsandfactionshold,Andsellsalvationstillforgold,Andhere'sourREFORMATION!
  'TisamadnessthentomakeThrivingouremployment,Andlucreloveforlucre'ssake,Sincewe'vepossession,notenjoyment:
  Letthetimesrunontheircourse,Foroppressionmakesthemworse,Wene'ershallbetterfind'em;
  Letgrandeeswealthandpowerengross,Andhonour,too,whilewesitclose,AndlaughandtakeourplenteousdoseOfsack,andnevermind'em。
  Ballad:UponTheGeneralPardonPassedByTheRumpFromabroadsideintheKing'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum。AfterCromwell'svictoryatWorcester,heprevailedontheParliamenttopassageneral,orquasi-general,amnestyforallpoliticaloffencescommittedpriortothattime。
  Rejoice,rejoice,yeCavaliers,Forherecomesthatdispelsyourfears;
  Ageneralpardonisnowpast,Whatwaslonglook'dfor,comesatlast。
  Itpardonsallthatareundone;
  ThePopene'ergrantedsuchaone:
  Solong,solarge,sofull,sofree,OhwhatagloriousStatehavewe!
  Yetdonotjoytoomuch,myfriends,Firstseehowwellthispardonends;
  Forthoughithathagloriousface,Ifearthere'sin'tbutlittlegrace。
  'Tissaidthemountainsoncebroughtforth,-
  Andwhatbroughtthey?amouse,introth;
  OurStateshavedonethelike,Idoubt,Inthistheirpardonnowsetout。
  We'lllookito'er,then,ifyouplease,Andseewhereinitbringsusease:
  Andfirst,itpardonswords,Ifind,AgainstourState-wordsarebutwind。
  Hathanypray'dforth'Kingoflate,Andwish'dconfusiontoourState?
  Andcall'dthemrebels?HemaycomeinAndpleadthispardonforthatsin。
  Hasanycall'dKingCharlesthat'sdeadAmartyr-hethatlosthishead?
  Andvillainsthosethatdidthefact?
  Thatmanispardon'dbythisAct。
  HathanysaidourParliamentIsuchaoneasGodne'ersent?
  Orhathhewrit,andputinprint,Thathebelievesthedevil'sin't?
  OrhathhesaidthereneverwereSuchtyrantsanywhereashere?
  Thoughthisoffenceofhisbehigh,He'spardon'dforhisblasphemy。
  Youseehowlargethispardonis,ItpardonsallourMERCURIES,(37)
  Andpoetstoo,foryouknowtheyArepoor,andhavenotaughttopay。
  Forwherethere'smoneytobegot,Ifindthispardonpardonsnot;
  Malignantsthatwererichbefore,Shallnotbepardon'dtillthey'repoor。
  Hathanyonebeentruetoth'Crown,Andforthatpaidhismoneydown,BythisnewActheshallbefree,Andpardon'dforhisloyalty。
  Whohavetheirlandsconfiscatequite,Fornotcompoundingwhentheymight;
  Ifthattheyknownothowtodig,Thispardongivesthemleavetobeg。
  BeforethisActcameoutinprint,Wethoughttherehadbeencomfortin't;
  Wedranksomehealthstothehigherpowers,Butnowwe'veseen'tthey'dneeddrinkours。
  ForbythisActitisthoughtfitThatnomanshallhavebenefit,UnlesshefirstengagetobeArebeltoeternity。
  Thus,inthispardonitisclearThatnothing'shereandnothing'sthere:
  IthinkourStatesdomeantochokeusWiththisnewActofHOCUSPOCUS。
  Well,sincethisAct'snotworthapin,We'llprayourStatestocallitin,FormostmenthinkitoughttobeBurntbythehandofGregory。
  Then,toconclude,here'slittlejoyForthosethatprayVIVELEROY!
  Butsincethey'llnotforgetourcrimes,We'llkeepourmirthtillbettertimes。
  Ballad:AnOldSongOnOliver'sCourtWrittenintheyear1654,bySamuelButler。
  HethatwouldanewcourtierbeAndofthelatecoyn'dgentry;
  Abrotheroftheprick-earedcrew,Halfapresbyter,halfaJew,Whenheisdipp'dinJordan'sflood,Andwash'dhishandsinroyalblood,Lethimtoourcourtrepair,Wherealltradesandreligionsare。
  Ifhecandevoutlypray,Feastuponafastingday,BelongerblessingawarmbitThanthecookwasdressingit;
  Withcovenantsandoathsdispense,Betrayhislordforfortypence,Lethim,etc。
  Ifhebeoneoftheeatingtribe,BothaPhariseeandaScribe,Andhathlearn'dthesnivellingtoneOfaflux'ddevotion;
  CursingfromhissweatingtubTheCavalierstoBeelzebub,Lethim,etc。
  Whosicklerthanthecityruff,Canchangehisbrewer'scoattobuff,Hisdray-carttoacoach,thebeastIntoFlandersmaresatleast;
  Nay,haththearttomurderkings,LikeDavid,onlywithhisslings,Lethim,etc。
  Ifhecaninverttheword,Turninghisploughsharetoasword,Hiscassocktoacoatofmail;
  'Gainstbishopsandtheclergyrail;
  ConvertPaul'schurchintothemews;
  Makeanewcolonelofoldshoes,Lethim,etc。
  WhohathcommissiontoconveyBothsexestoJAMAICA,TheretobegetnewbabesofgraceOnwencheshotterthantheplace,WhocarryintheirtailsafireWillratherscorchthanquenchdesire,Lethim,etc。
  Ballad:TheParliamentRouted,OrHere'sAHouseToBeLetIhopethatEngland,aftermanyjarres,Shallbeatpeace,andgivenowaytowarres:
  OLord,protectthegenerall,thatheMaybetheagentofourunitie。
  WrittenuponthedissolutionoftheLongParliamentbyCromwell,onthe20thApril,1653,andextractedfromtheKing'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum。June3rd,1653。
  Tothetuneof"Lucina,or,MerrilyandCherrily。"
  Cheareup,kindcountrymen,benotdismay'd,TruenewsIcantellyeconcerningthenation;
  Hotspiritsarequench'd,thetempestislayd,(Andnowwemayhopeforagoodreformation)。
  TheParliamentboldandthecounsellofstateDoewishthembeyondsea,orelseatVirginie;
  Fornowalltheirordersarequiteoutofdate,TwelveParliamentmenshallbesoldforpeny。
  Fulltwelveyearsandmoretheserookstheyhavesat,Togullandtocozenalltrue-heartedpeople;
  Ourgoldandoursilverhasmadethemsofat,ThattheylooktmorebigandmightythanPaul'ssteeple。
  Thefreedomeofsubjecttheymuchdidpretend,Butsincetheyboreswayweneverhadany;
  Foreverymemberpromotedself-end,TwelveParliamentmenarenowsoldforonepeny。
  Theiractsandtheirorderswhichtheyhavecontrived,Wasstillinconclusiontomultiplyriches:
  TheCommon-wealthsweetlybythesemenhavethrived,AsLancashiredidwiththejunctoofwitches。(38)
  Oh!ourfreedomewaschain'dtotheEgyptianyoak,Asithathbeenfeltandenduredbymany,Stillmakingreligiontheirauthorandcloak,TwelveParliamentmenshallbesoldforapeny。
  BothcitieandcountreyarealmostundoneBythesecaterpillars,whichswarm'dinthenation;
  Theirimpsandtheirgoblinsdidupanddownerun,Excise-men,Imeane,allknavesofafashion:
  Forallthegreattreasurethatdaylycamein,Thesouldierwantspay,'tiswellknownebyamany;
  Tocheatandtocozentheyhelditnosinne,TwelveParliamentmenshallbesoldforapeny。
  Thelandandthelivingswhichthesemenhavehad,'Twouldmakeoneadmirewhatusethey'vemadeofit,Withplateandwithjewelstheyhavebinwellclad,Thesouldierfaredhardwhilsttheygottheprofit。
  OurgoldandoursilvertoHollandtheysent,Butbeingfoundout,thisisknownebyamany,Thatnoonewouldowneitforfeareofashent,TwelveParliamentmenaresoldforapeny。
  'TisjudgedbymostpeoplethattheywerethecauseOfEnglandandHolland,theirwarringtogether,(39)
  Bothfriendsanddearloverstobreakcivilllawes,Andincruellmannertokilloneanother。
  Whatcaredtheyhowmanydidlosetheirdearlives,Sotheybythebargaindidgetpeople'smoney,Sittingsecurelikebeesintheirhives?
  ButtwelveParliamentmenarenowsoldforapeny。
  THESECONDPART
  Tothesametune。
  Theyvoted,unvoted,asfancydidguide,Topasseawaytime,butincreasingtheirtreasure(WhenJackisoncock-horsehee'lgallopingride,Butfallingatlast,hee'lrepentitatleisure)。
  Thewidow,thefatherlesse,gentryandpoore,Thetradesmanandcitizen,withagreatmany,Havesuffer'dfulldearlytoheapuptheirstore;
  ButtwelveParliamentmenshallbesoldforapeny。
  TheseburdensandgrievancesEnglandhathfelt,Solongandsoheavy,ourheartsaree'enbroken,Ourplate,goldandsilver,tothemselvesthey'vedealt(Allthisistootrue,ingoodtimebeitspoken)。
  Foramantorisehighandatlasttofalllow,Itisadiscredit:thislotfalstomany,But'tisnogreatmatterthesementoserveso,TwelveParliamentmennowaresoldforapeny。
  Thegenerall(40)perceivingtheirlustfulldesireTocovetmoretreasure,beingpuftwithambition,Bytheiractsandtheirorderstosetallonfire,Pretendingreligiontoroutsuperstition:
  HebravelycommandedthesouldierstogoeIntheParliament-house,indefianceofany;
  Towhichtheyconsented,andnowyoudoeknowThattwelveParliamentmenmaybesoldforapeny。
  Thesouldiersundauntedlaidholdonthemace,Andoutofthechairetheyremovedthespeaker:
  Thegreatoneswastheninapittifullcase,AndTaveecrydout,Allhercoldmustforsakeher。(41)
  Thustheywererouted,plucktoutbytheeares,TheHousewassooneemptyandridofamanyUsurpers,thatsatetherethisthirteenlongyeares;
  TwelveParliamentmenmaybesoldforapeny。
  TotheTowerofLondonawaytheyweresent,Astheyhavesentothersbythemcaptivated;
  OhwhatwillbecomeofthisoldParliamentAndalltheircompeers,thatwereroyallystated。
  WhattheyhavedeservedIwishtheymayhave,And'tisthedesireIknowofamany;
  Forustohavefreedome,ohthatwillbebrave!
  ButtwelveParliamentmenmaybesoldforapeny。
  Let'sprayforthegenerallandallhisbravetraine,HemaybeaninstrumentforEngland'sblessing,Appointedinheaventofreeusagaine,-
  Forthisisthewayofourburdensredressing:
  ForEnglandtobeingloryoncemore,Itwouldsatisfy,Iknow,agreatmany;
  ButendingIsay,asIsaidbefore,TwelveParliamentmennowaresoldforapeny。
  Ballad:AChristmasSongWhenTheRumpWasFirstDissolvedFromtheKing'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum。TheRumpParliament,inanexcessofPuritanicacerbity,hadabolishedtheobservanceofChristmas,andforbiddentheeatingofpuddingsandpies,assavouringofPopery。
  Tune-"Itellthee,Dick。"
  ThisChristmastime'tisfitthatweShouldfeast,andsing,andmerrybe。
  Itisatimeofmirth;
  ForneversincetheworldbeganMorejoyfulnewswasbroughttomanThanatourSaviour'sbirth。
  Butsuchhavebeenthesetimesoflate,Thatholidaysareoutofdate,Andholinesstoboot;
  FortheythatdodespiseandscornTokeepthedaythatChristwasborn,Wantholinessnodoubt。
  ThatParliamentthattookawayTheobservationofthatday,Weknowitwasnotfree;
  Forifithad,suchactsasthoseHadne'erbeenseeninverseorprose,Youmayconcludewithme。
  'TwasthatAssemblydidmaintain'Twaslawtokilltheirsovereign,Whobythatlawmustdie;
  ThoughGod'sanointedonesaresuch,Whichsubjectsshouldnotdaretotouch,Muchlesstocrucify。
  'Twasthatwhichturn'dourbishopsoutOfhouseandhome,bothbranchandroot,Andgavenoreasonwhy;
  Andallourclergydidexpel,Thatwouldnotdolikethatrebel-
  Thisnomancandeny。
  ItwasthatParliamentthattookOutofourchurchesourSERVICEBOOK,Abookwithoutcompare;
  AndmadeGod'shouse(toallourgriefs),Thathouseofprayer,adenofthiefs'
  Bothhereandeverywhere。
  Theyhadnoheadformanyyears,Norheart(ImeantheHouseofPeers),Andyetitdidnotdie;
  Oftheselongsinceitwasbereft,Andnothingbutthetailwasleft,YouknowaswellasI。
  Andinthistailwasatongue,Lenthal(42)Imean,whosefamehathrungIncountryandincity;
  Notforhisworthoreloquence,Butforarebeltohisprince,Andneitherwisenorwitty。
  ThisSpeaker'swordsmustneedsbewind,Sincetheyproceededfrombehind;
  Besides,youwayremember,Fromthencenoactcouldbediscreet,Norcouldthesenseo'theHousebesweetWhereAtkinswasamember。
  Thistale'snowdone,theSpeaker'sdumb,Thankstothetrumpetandthedrum;
  AndnowIhopetoseeAParliamentthatwillrestoreAllthingsthatwereundonebefore,ThatwemayChristiansbe。
  Ballad:AFreeParliamentLitanyFromtheKing'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum-(A。D。1655。)Tothetuneof"AnOldCourtieroftheQueen's。"
  Moreballads!-here'saspickandspannewsupplication,ByorderofaCommitteefortheReformation,Tobereadinallchurchesandchapelsofthisnation,Uponpainofslaveryandsequestration。
  FromfoolsandknavesinourParliamentfree,LIBERANOS,DOMINE。
  Fromthosethatha'morereligionandlessconsciencethantheirfellows;
  Fromarepresentativethat'sfearfulandzealous;
  Fromastartingjadishpeoplethatistroubledwiththeyellows,Andapriestthatblowsthecoal(acrackinhisbellows);
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Fromshepherdsthatleadtheirflocksintothebriars,Andthenfleece'em;fromvow-breakersandking-tryers;
  OfChurchandCrownlands,frombothsellersandbuyers;
  Fromthechildrenofhimthatisthefatherofliars;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  FromthedoctrineanddisciplineofNOWANDANON,PreserveusandourwivesfromJohnT。andSaintJohn,Likemasterlikeman,everywaybutone,-
  Themasterhasalargeconscience,andthemanhasnone;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Frommajor-generals,armyofficers,andthatphanatiquecrew;
  Fromtheparboil'dpimpScot,andfromGood-facetheJew;
  FromoldMildmay,thatinCheapsidemistookhisqueu,Andfromhimthatwon'tpledge-Givethedevilhisdue;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Fromlong-windedspeeches,andnotawiseword;
  Fromagospelministrysettledbythesword;
  FromtheactofaRump,thatstinkswhen'tisstirr'd;
  Fromaknightofthepost,andacobblinglord;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Fromalltherichpeoplethatha'madeuspoor;
  FromaSpeakerthatcreepstotheHousebyaback-door;
  Fromthatbadger,Robinson(thatlimpsandbitessore);
  Andthatdoginadoublet,Arthur-thatwilldosonomore;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Fromacertainslyknavewithabeastlyname;
  FromaParliamentthat'swild,andapeoplethat'stame;
  FromSkippon,Titchbourne,Ireton,-andanotherofthesame;
  Fromadung-hillcock,andahenofthegame;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  FromallthosethatsatintheHighCourtofJustice;
  Fromusurpersthatstylethemselvesthepeople'strustees;
  FromanoldRump,inwhichneitherprofitnorgustis,Andfromtherecoveryofthatwhichnowinthedustis;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Fromabackslidingsaintthatpretendt'acquiesce;
  Fromcrossingofproverbs(let'umhangthatconfess);
  Fromasnivelingcause,inapontificalldress,Andtwolawyers,withthedevilandhisdaminamess;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Fromthosethattroublethewaterstomendthefishing,AndfighttheLord'sbattlesunderthedevil'scommission,Suchaseatupthenation,whilstthegovernment'sa-dishing;
  Andfromapeoplewhenitshouldbedoing,standswishing;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Fromaneverlastingmock-parliament-andfromNONE;
  FromStrafford'soldfriends-Harry,Jack,andJohn;
  Fromoursolicitor'swolf-lawdeliverourKing'sson;
  AndfromtheresurrectionoftheRumpthatisdeadandgone;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Fromforeigninvasionandcommotionsathome;
  Fromourpresentdistraction,andfromworktocome;
  FromthesamehandagainSmectymnus,orthebum,AndfromtakingGenevainourwaytoRome;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Fromahundredthousandpoundtaxtokeepknavesbythescore(Butitiswellgiventothesethatturn'dthoseoutofdoor);
  Fromundoingourselvesinplaisteringoldsores;
  Hethatsetthema-work,lethimpaytheirscores;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Fromsaintsandtenderconsciencesinbuff;
  FromMounsoninafoam,andHasleriginahuff;
  Frombothmenandwomenthatthinktheyneverhaveenough;
  Andfromafool'sheadthatlooksthroughachainandaduff;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Fromthosethatwoulddividethegen'ralandthecity;
  FromHarryMartin'sgirl,thatwasneithersweetnorpretty;
  Fromafactionthathasneitherbrainnorpity:
  Fromthemercyofaphanatiquecommittee;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Preserveus,goodHeaven,fromentrustingthoseThatha'muchtogetandlittletolose;
  Thatmurther'dthefather,andthesonwoulddepose(Suretheycan'tbeourfriendsthataretheircountry'sfoes);
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  FromBradshaw'spresumption,andfromHoyle'sdespairs;
  Fromrottenmembers,blindguides,preachingaldermen,andfalsemay'rs;
  Fromlongknives,longears,longparliaments,andlongpray'rs;
  Inmercytothisnation-Deliverusandourheirs;
  Fromfoolsandknaves,etc。
  Ballad:TheMockSongByT。J。WithareplybyAlex。Brome-(A。D。1657。)
  Hold,hold,quaffnomore,ButrestoreIfyoucanwhatyou'velostbyyourdrinking:
  Threekingdomsandcrowns,Withtheircitiesandtowns,WhiletheKingandhisprogeny'ssinking。
  Thestudsinyourcheekshaveobscuredhisstar,boys,Yourdrinkingmiscarriagesinthelatewar,boys,Havebroughthisprerogativenowtothewar,boys。
  Throw,throwdowntheglass!
  He'sanassThatextractsallhisworthfromCanary;
  ThatvalourwillshrinkThat'sonlygoodindrink;
  'Twasthecupmadethecamptomiscarry。
  Youthoughtintheworldthere'snopowercouldtameye,Youtippledandwhoredtillthefoeovercameye;
  God'snigsandNe'erstir,sirs,hasvanquish'dGoddamnme。
  Fly,flyfromthecoast,Oryou'relost,Andthewaterwillrunwherethedrinkwent;
  Fromhenceyoumustslink,Ifyouhavenochink,'Tisthecourseoftheroyaldelinquent;
  Youlovetoseebeer-bowlsturn'doverthethumbwell,Youlikethreefairgamesters,fourdice,andadrumwell,Butyou'dasliefseethedevilasFairfaxorCromwell。
  Drink,drinknottheround,You'llbedrown'dInthesourceofyoursackandyoursonnets;
  TryoncemoreyourfateFortheKingagainsttheState,Andgobarteryourbeaversforbonnets。
  Youseehowthey'recharm'dbytheKing'senchanters,AndthereforepackhencetoVirginiaforplanters,Foranactandtwored-coatswillroutalltheranters。
  THEANSWER
  ByAlex。Brome。
  Stay,stay,pratenomore,Lestthybrain,likethypurse,runthescore,Thoughthoustrain'stit;
  ThosearetraitorsingrainThatofsackdocomplain,Andrailbyitsownpoweragainstit。
  Thosekingdomsandcrownswhichyourpoetrypities,Arefall'nbytheprideandhypocrisyofcities,Andnotbythosebrainsthatlovesackandgoodditties;
  TheK。andhisprogenyhadkeptthemfromsinking,Hadtheyhadnoworsefoesthantheladsthatlovedrinking,Wethattippleha'noleisureforplottingorthinking。
  HeisanassThatdoththrowdownhimselfwithaglassOfCanary;
  Hethat'squietwillthinkMuchthebetterofdrink,'Causethecupsmadethecamptomiscarry。
  Youwhorewhilewetipple,andthere,myfriend,youlie,YoursportsdiddetermineinthemonthofJuly;
  There'slessfraudinplaindammethanyourslybymytruly;
  'Tissackmakesourbloodsbothpurerandwarmer,Weneednotyourpriestorthefemininecharmer,ForabowlofCanary'sawholesuitofarmour。
  Hold,hold,notsofast,Tippleon,forthereisnosuchhasteTobegoing;
  Wedrowningmayfear,ButyourendwillbethereWherethereisneitherswimmingnorrowing。
  Weweregamestersalike,andourstakeswerebothdown,boys,ButFortunedidfavouryou,beingherown,boys;
  Andwhowouldnotventureacastforacrown,boys?
  Sinceweweartherightcolours,hetheworstofourfoesisThatgoestotraduce,andfondlysupposesThatCromwell'sanenemytosackandrednoses。
  Then,then,quaffitround,Nodeceitinabrimmerisfound;
  Here'snoswearing:
  BeerandalemakesyouprateOftheChurchandtheState,Wantingotherdiscourseworththehearing。
  Thisstrumpetyourmuseis,toballadorflatter,Orrail,andyourbetterswithfrothtobespatter,Andyourtalk'salldismalsandgunpowdermatter;
  Butwe,whileoldsackdoesdivinelyinspireus,Areactivetodowhatourrulersrequireus,Andattemptsuchexploitsastheworldshalladmireus。
  Ballad:AsCloseAsAGooseBySamuelButler-(A。D。1657。)ThisballadridiculesthetenderoftheCrownofEnglandtoOliverCromwellbyAldermanPack,M。P。
  forLondon。
  AscloseasagooseSattheParliament-house,Tohatchtheroyalgull;
  Aftermuchfiddle-faddleTheeggprovedaddle,AndOlivercameforthNOLL。
  YetoldQueenMadge,(43)
  Thoughthingsdonotfadge,WillservetobequeenofaMay-pole;
  TwoPrincesofWales,(44)
  ForWhitsun-ales,Andhergrace,MaidMarionClaypole。(45)
  InarobeofcowhideSatyeastyPride,(46)
  Withhisdaggerandhissling;
  HewasthepertinenstpeerOfallthatwerethere,T'advisewithsuchaking。
  AgreatphilosopherHadagooseforhisloverThatfollow'dhimdayandnight:
  Ifitbeatruestory,Orbutanallegory,Itmaybebothwaysright。
  Strickland(47)andhisson,Bothcastintoone,Weremeantforasinglebaron;
  Butwhentheycametosit,TherewasnotwitEnoughinthembothtoserveforone。
  Wherefore'twasthoughtgoodToaddHoneywood,ButwhentheycametotrialEachoneprovedafool,Yetthreeknavesinthewhole,AndthatmadeupaPAIR-ROYAL。
  Ballad:ThePrisonersWrittenwhenO。C。attemptedtobeKing。ByAlex。Brome。
  Come,abrimmer(mybullies),drinkwholeonesornothing,Nowhealthshavebeenvoteddown;
  'Tissackthatcanheatus,wecarenotforclothing,Agallon'saswarmasagown;
  'CausetheParliamentseesNortheformernortheseCouldengageustodrinktheirhealth,TheymayvotethatweshallDrinknohealthsatall,NottoKingnortoCommonwealth,Sothatnowwemustventuretodrink'embystealth。
  Butwe'vefoundoutawaythat'sbeyondalltheirthinking;
  Tokeepupgoodfellowshipstill,We'lldrinktheirdestructionthatwoulddestroydrinking,-
  Let'umvoteTHATahealthiftheywill。
  Thosementhatdidfight,AnddidpraydayandnightFortheParliamentanditsattendant,DidmakeallthatbustleTheKingouttojustle,AndbringintheIndependent,Butnowweallclearlyseewhatwastheendon't。
  Nowtheiridolsthrowndownwiththeirsooter-kinalso,Aboutwhichtheydidmakesuchapother;
  Andtho'theircontrivancedidmakeonethingtofallso,Wehavedrankourselvesintoanother;
  Andnow(mylads)weMaystillCavaliersbe,InspiteoftheCommittee'sfrown;
  Wewilldrinkandwe'llsing,AndeachhealthtoourKingShallbeloyallydrunkinthe'CROWN,'
  Whichshallbethestandardineverytown。
  Theirpolitickwould-be'sdobutshowthemselvesassesThatothermen'scallinginvade;
  Weonlyconversewithpotsandwithglasses,Lettherulersalonewiththeirtrade;
  TheLyonoftheTowerThereestatesdoesdevour,Withoutshowinglawfor'torreason;
  IntoprisonwegetForthecrimecalleddebt,Whereourbodiesandbrainswedoseason,Andthatisne'ertakenformurderortreason。
  Whereourdittiesstillbe,Give'smoredrink,give'smoredrink,boys。
  Letthosethatarefrugaltakecare;
  Ourgaolersandwewilllivebyourchink,boys,Whileourcreditorslivebytheair;
  Hereweliveatourease,Andgetcraftandgrease,'Tillwe'vemerrilyspentallourstore;
  Then,asdrinkbroughtusin,'Twillredeemusagen;
  Wegotinbecausewewerepoor,Andswearourselvesoutontheverysamescore。
  Ballad:TheProtectingBrewerThiswasapparentlywrittenasaparodyontheBrewer,inPillstopurgeMelancholy,1682。TheoriginalwastoocomplimentarytoOliverCromwell,assertedbytheRoyaliststohavebeenabrewerinearlylife,tosuitthetasteoftheCavaliers,andhencethealterationmadeinit。Suchcomplimentsasthefollowingmusthaveproceededfromawriteroftheoppositeparty。
  SomeChristiankingsbegantoquake,AndsaidWiththebrewernoquarrelwe'llmake,We'lllethimalone;ashebrewslethimbake;
  Whichnobodycandeny。
  Hehadastrongandaverystoutheart,AndthoughttobemadeanEmperorfor't,*****
  Whichnobodycandeny。
  ABrewermaybeaburgessgrave,Andcarrythemattersofineandsobrave,Thathethebettermayplaytheknave,Whichnobodycandeny。
  AbrewermayputonaNabalface,AndmarchtothewarswithsuchagraceThathemaygetacaptain'splace;
  Whichnobody,etc。
  AbrewermayspeaksowondrouswellThathemayrise(strangethingstotell),Andsobemadeacolonel;
  Whichnobody,etc。
  Abrewermaymakehisfoestoflee,Andrisehisfortunes,sothatheLieutenant-generalmaybe;
  Whichnobody,etc。
  Abrewermaybeallinall,Andraisehispowers,bothgreatandsmall,Thathemaybealordgeneral;
  Whichnobody,etc。
  Abrewermaybelikeafoxinacub,Andteachalectureoutofatub,Andgivethewickedworldarub;
  Whichnobody,etc。
  Abrewer,by'sexciseandrate,Willpromisehisarmyheknowswhat,Andsetuponthecollege-gate;
  Whichnobody,etc。
  MethinksIhearonesaytome,PraywhymaynotabrewerbeLordChancelloro'theUniversity?
  Whichnobody,etc。
  AbrewermaybeasboldasHector,Whenashehaddrankhiscupo'Nectar,AndabrewermaybeaLordProtector;
  Whichnobody,etc。
  Nowhereremainsthestrangestthing,HowthisbrewerabouthisliquordidbringTobeanemperororaking;
  Whichnobody,etc。
  Abrewermaydowhathewill,AndrobtheChurchandState,tosellHissouluntothedevilinhell;
  Whichnobody,etc。
  Ballad:TheArraignmentOfTheDevilForStealingAwayPresidentBradshawJohnBradshaw,whohadpresidedoverthecourtofjusticewhichcondemnedCharlesI。tothescaffold,andwhobyhisextremerepublicanprincipleshadrenderedhimselfobnoxioustoCromwell,beganagaintobedistinguishedinpublicaffairsaftertheProtector'sdeath,andwaselectedPresidentoftheCouncilofState。Hedidnotlivelongtoenjoythishonour,butdied,accordingtosomeauthorities,onthe31stOctober,1659。Chalmersplaceshisdeathonthe22ndofNovemberinthatyear。
  Tothetuneof"Well-a-day,well-a-day。"
  Ifyou'llhearnewsthat'sill,Gentlemen,gentlemen,Againstthedevil,IwillBetherelator;
  Arraignedhemustbe,Forthatfeloniously,'Thoutduesolemnity,Hetookatraitor。
  JohnBradshawwashisname,Howitstinks!howitstinks!
  Who'llmakewithblackerfamePilateunknown。
  ThisworsethanworseofthingsCondemn'dthebestofkings,And,whatmoreguiltyetbrings,Knew'twashisown。
  VirtueinCharlesdidseemEagerly,eagerly,AndvillainyinhimTovyeforglory。
  MajestysocompleatAndimpudencesogreatTillthattimenevermet:-
  Buttomystory。
  Accuserstherewillbe,Bitterones,bitterones,Morethanone,two,orthree,Allfullofspight;
  Hangmanandtreesotall,Bridge,tower,andcity-wall,Kiteandcrow,whichwereallRobb'doftheirright。