ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIprayyou,sir,receivethemoneynow,Forfearyoune’erseechainnormoneymore。ANGELOYouareamerryman,sir:fareyouwell。
ExitANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhatIshouldthinkofthis,Icannottell:
ButthisIthink,there’snomanissovainThatwouldrefusesofairanoffer’dchain。
Iseeamanhereneedsnotlivebyshifts,Wheninthestreetshemeetssuchgoldengifts。
I’lltothemart,andthereforDromiostayIfanyshipputout,thenstraightaway。
ExitACTIVSCENEI。Apublicplace。EnterSecondMerchant,ANGELO,andanOfficerSecondMerchantYouknowsincePentecostthesumisdue,AndsinceIhavenotmuchimportunedyou;
NornowIhadnot,butthatIamboundToPersia,andwantguildersformyvoyage:
Thereforemakepresentsatisfaction,OrI’llattachyoubythisofficer。ANGELOEvenjustthesumthatIdoowetoyouIsgrowingtomebyAntipholus,AndintheinstantthatImetwithyouHehadofmeachain:atfiveo’clockIshallreceivethemoneyforthesame。
Pleasethyouwalkwithmedowntohishouse,Iwilldischargemybondandthankyoutoo。
EnterANTIPHOLUSofEphesusandDROMIOofEphesusfromthecourtezan’sOfficerThatlabourmayyousave:seewherehecomes。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWhileIgotothegoldsmith’shouse,gothouAndbuyarope’send:thatwillIbestowAmongmywifeandherconfederates,Forlockingmeoutofmydoorsbyday。
But,soft!Iseethegoldsmith。Gettheegone;
Buythouaropeandbringithometome。DROMIOOFEPHESUSIbuyathousandpoundayear:Ibuyarope。
ExitANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAmaniswellholpupthattruststoyou:
Ipromisedyourpresenceandthechain;
Butneitherchainnorgoldsmithcametome。
Belikeyouthoughtourlovewouldlasttoolong,Ifitwerechain’dtogether,andthereforecamenot。ANGELOSavingyourmerryhumour,here’sthenoteHowmuchyourchainweighstotheutmostcarat,Thefinenessofthegoldandchargefulfashion。
WhichdothamounttothreeoddducatsmoreThanIstanddebtedtothisgentleman:
Iprayyou,seehimpresentlydischarged,Forheisboundtoseaandstaysbutforit。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIamnotfurnish’dwiththepresentmoney;
Besides,Ihavesomebusinessinthetown。
Goodsignior,takethestrangertomyhouseAndwithyoutakethechainandbidmywifeDisbursethesumonthereceiptthereof:
PerchanceIwillbethereassoonasyou。ANGELOThenyouwillbringthechaintoheryourself?
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSNo;bearitwithyou,lestIcomenottimeenough。ANGELOWell,sir,Iwill。Haveyouthechainaboutyou?
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAnifIhavenot,sir,Ihopeyouhave;
Orelseyoumayreturnwithoutyourmoney。ANGELONay,come,Iprayyou,sir,givemethechain:
Bothwindandtidestaysforthisgentleman,AndI,toblame,haveheldhimheretoolong。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSGoodLord!youusethisdalliancetoexcuseYourbreachofpromisetothePorpentine。
Ishouldhavechidyoufornotbringingit,But,likeashrew,youfirstbegintobrawl。SecondMerchantThehourstealson;Iprayyou,sir,dispatch。ANGELOYouhearhowheimportunesme;——thechain!
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWhy,giveittomywifeandfetchyourmoney。ANGELOCome,come,youknowIgaveityouevennow。
Eithersendthechainorsendmebysometoken。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSFie,nowyourunthishumouroutofbreath,where’sthechain?Iprayyou,letmeseeit。SecondMerchantMybusinesscannotbrookthisdalliance。
Goodsir,saywhetheryou’llanswermeorno:
Ifnot,I’llleavehimtotheofficer。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIansweryou!whatshouldIansweryou?ANGELOThemoneythatyouowemeforthechain。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIoweyounonetillIreceivethechain。ANGELOYouknowIgaveityouhalfanhoursince。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSYougavemenone:youwrongmemuchtosayso。ANGELOYouwrongmemore,sir,indenyingit:
Considerhowitstandsuponmycredit。SecondMerchantWell,officer,arresthimatmysuit。OfficerIdo;andchargeyouintheduke’snametoobeyme。ANGELOThistouchesmeinreputation。
EitherconsenttopaythissumformeOrIattachyoubythisofficer。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSConsenttopaytheethatIneverhad!
Arrestme,foolishfellow,ifthoudarest。ANGELOHereisthyfee;arresthim,officer,Iwouldnotsparemybrotherinthiscase,Ifheshouldscornmesoapparently。OfficerIdoarrestyou,sir:youhearthesuit。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIdoobeytheetillIgivetheebail。
But,sirrah,youshallbuythissportasdearAsallthemetalinyourshopwillanswer。ANGELOSir,sir,IwillhavelawinEphesus,Toyournotoriousshame;Idoubtitnot。
EnterDROMIOofSyracuse,fromthebayDROMIOOFSYRACUSEMaster,thereisabarkofEpidamnumThatstaysbuttillherownercomesaboard,Andthen,sir,shebearsaway。Ourfraughtage,sir,Ihaveconvey’daboard;andIhaveboughtTheoil,thebalsamumandaqua-vitae。
Theshipisinhertrim;themerrywindBlowsfairfromland:theystayfornoughtatallButfortheirowner,master,andyourself。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSHownow!amadman!Why,thoupeevishsheep,WhatshipofEpidamnumstaysforme?DROMIOOFSYRACUSEAshipyousentmeto,tohirewaftage。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThoudrunkenslave,Isenttheeforarope;
Andtoldtheetowhatpurposeandwhatend。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEYousentmeforarope’sendassoon:
Yousentmetothebay,sir,forabark。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIwilldebatethismatteratmoreleisureAndteachyourearstolistmewithmoreheed。
ToAdriana,villain,hietheestraight:
Giveherthiskey,andtellher,inthedeskThat’scover’do’erwithTurkishtapestry,Thereisapurseofducats;lethersendit:
TellherIamarrestedinthestreetAndthatshallbailme;hiethee,slave,begone!
On,officer,toprisontillitcome。
ExeuntSecondMerchant,Angelo,Officer,andAntipholusofEphesusDROMIOOFSYRACUSEToAdriana!thatiswherewedined,WhereDowsabeldidclaimmeforherhusband:
Sheistoobig,Ihope,formetocompass。
ThitherImust,althoughagainstmywill,Forservantsmusttheirmasters’mindsfulfil。
ExitSCENEII。ThehouseofANTIPHOLUSofEphesus。EnterADRIANAandLUCIANAADRIANAAh,Luciana,didhetempttheeso?
MightstthouperceiveausterelyinhiseyeThathedidpleadinearnest?yeaorno?
Look’dheorredorpale,orsadormerrily?
WhatobservationmadestthouinthiscaseOfhisheart’smeteorstiltinginhisface?LUCIANAFirsthedeniedyouhadinhimnoright。ADRIANAHemeanthedidmenone;themoremyspite。LUCIANAThensworehethathewasastrangerhere。ADRIANAAndtrueheswore,thoughyetforswornhewere。LUCIANAThenpleadedIforyou。ADRIANAAndwhatsaidhe?LUCIANAThatloveIbegg’dforyouhebegg’dofme。ADRIANAWithwhatpersuasiondidhetemptthylove?LUCIANAWithwordsthatinanhonestsuitmightmove。
Firsthedidpraisemybeauty,thenmyspeech。ADRIANADidstspeakhimfair?LUCIANAHavepatience,Ibeseech。ADRIANAIcannot,norIwillnot,holdmestill;
Mytongue,thoughnotmyheart,shallhavehiswill。
Heisdeformed,crooked,oldandsere,Ill-faced,worsebodied,shapelesseverywhere;
Vicious,ungentle,foolish,blunt,unkind;
Stigmaticalinmaking,worseinmind。LUCIANAWhowouldbejealousthenofsuchaone?
Noevillostiswail’dwhenitisgone。ADRIANAAh,butIthinkhimbetterthanIsay,Andyetwouldhereinothers’eyeswereworse。
Farfromhernestthelapwingcriesaway:
Myheartpraysforhim,thoughmytonguedocurse。
EnterDROMIOofSyracuseDROMIOOFSYRACUSEHere!go;thedesk,thepurse!sweet,now,makehaste。LUCIANAHowhastthoulostthybreath?DROMIOOFSYRACUSEByrunningfast。ADRIANAWhereisthymaster,Dromio?ishewell?DROMIOOFSYRACUSENo,he’sinTartarlimbo,worsethanhell。
Adevilinaneverlastinggarmenthathhim;
Onewhosehardheartisbutton’dupwithsteel;
Afiend,afury,pitilessandrough;
Awolf,nay,worse,afellowallinbuff;
Aback-friend,ashoulder-clapper,onethatcountermandsThepassagesofalleys,creeksandnarrowlands;
Ahoundthatrunscounterandyetdrawsdryfootwell;
Onethatbeforethejudgementcarriespoorsoulstohell。ADRIANAWhy,man,whatisthematter?DROMIOOFSYRACUSEIdonotknowthematter:heis’restedonthecase。ADRIANAWhat,ishearrested?Tellmeatwhosesuit。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEIknownotatwhosesuitheisarrestedwell;
Buthe’sinasuitofbuffwhich’restedhim,thatcanItell。
Willyousendhim,mistress,redemption,themoneyinhisdesk?ADRIANAGofetchit,sister。
ExitLucianaThisIwonderat,Thathe,unknowntome,shouldbeindebt。
Tellme,washearrestedonaband?DROMIOOFSYRACUSENotonaband,butonastrongerthing;
Achain,achain!Doyounothearitring?ADRIANAWhat,thechain?DROMIOOFSYRACUSENo,no,thebell:’tistimethatIweregone:
ItwastwoereIlefthim,andnowtheclockstrikesone。ADRIANAThehourscomeback!thatdidIneverhear。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEO,yes;ifanyhourmeetasergeant,a’
turnsbackforveryfear。ADRIANAAsifTimewereindebt!howfondlydostthoureason!DROMIOOFSYRACUSETimeisaverybankrupt,andowesmorethanhe’sworth,toseason。
Nay,he’sathieftoo:haveyounotheardmensayThatTimecomesstealingonbynightandday?
IfTimebeindebtandtheft,andasergeantintheway,Hathhenotreasontoturnbackanhourinaday?
Re-enterLUCIANAwithapurseADRIANAGo,Dromio;there’sthemoney,bearitstraight;
Andbringthymasterhomeimmediately。
Come,sister:Iampress’ddownwithconceit——
Conceit,mycomfortandmyinjury。
ExeuntSCENEIII。Apublicplace。EnterANTIPHOLUSofSyracuseANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThere’snotamanImeetbutdothsalutemeAsifIweretheirwell-acquaintedfriend;
Andeveryonedothcallmebymyname。
Sometendermoneytome;someinviteme;
Someothergivemethanksforkindnesses;
Someoffermecommoditiestobuy:
Evennowatailorcall’dmeinhisshopAndshow’dmesilksthathehadboughtforme,Andtherewithaltookmeasureofmybody。
Sure,thesearebutimaginarywilesAndLaplandsorcerersinhabithere。
EnterDROMIOOFSYRACUSEDROMIOOFSYRACUSEMaster,here’sthegoldyousentmefor。
What,haveyougotthepictureofoldAdamnew-apparelled?
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhatgoldisthis?whatAdamdostthoumean?DROMIOOFSYRACUSENotthatAdamthatkepttheParadisebutthatAdamthatkeepstheprison:hethatgoesinthecalf’sskinthatwaskilledfortheProdigal;hethatcamebehindyou,sir,likeanevilangel,andbidyouforsakeyourliberty。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIunderstandtheenot。DROMIOOFSYRACUSENo?why,’tisaplaincase:hethatwent,likeabass-viol,inacaseofleather;theman,sir,that,whengentlemenaretired,givesthemasoband’reststhem;he,sir,thattakespityondecayedmenandgivesthemsuitsofdurance;hethatsetsuphisresttodomoreexploitswithhismacethanamorris-pike。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhat,thoumeanestanofficer?DROMIOOFSYRACUSEAy,sir,thesergeantoftheband,hethatbringsanymantoansweritthatbreakshisband;onethatthinksamanalwaysgoingtobed,andsays,’Godgiveyougoodrest!’
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWell,sir,thererestinyourfoolery。
IsthereanyDROMIOOFSYRACUSEWhy,sir,IbroughtyouwordanhoursincethatthebarkExpeditionputforthto-night;andthenwereyouhinderedbythesergeant,totarryforthehoyDelay。Herearetheangelsthatyousentfortodeliveryou。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThefellowisdistract,andsoamI;
Andherewewanderinillusions:
Someblessedpowerdeliverusfromhence!
EnteraCourtezanCourtezanWellmet,wellmet,MasterAntipholus。
Isee,sir,youhavefoundthegoldsmithnow:
Isthatthechainyoupromisedmeto-day?
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSESatan,avoid!Ichargethee,temptmenot。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMaster,isthisMistressSatan?
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEItisthedevil。DROMIOOFSYRACUSENay,sheisworse,sheisthedevil’sdam;andhereshecomesinthehabitofalightwench:andthereofcomesthatthewenchessay’Goddamnme;’that’sasmuchtosay’Godmakemealightwench。’Itiswritten,theyappeartomenlikeangelsoflight:
lightisaneffectoffire,andfirewillburn;
ergo,lightwencheswillburn。Comenotnearher。CourtezanYourmanandyouaremarvellousmerry,sir。
Willyougowithme?We’llmendourdinnerhere?DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMaster,ifyoudo,expectspoon-meat;
orbespeakalongspoon。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhy,Dromio?DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMarry,hemusthavealongspoonthatmusteatwiththedevil。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEAvoidthen,fiend!whattell’stthoumeofsupping?
Thouart,asyouareall,asorceress:
Iconjuretheetoleavemeandbegone。CourtezanGivemetheringofmineyouhadatdinner,Or,formydiamond,thechainyoupromised,AndI’llbegone,sir,andnottroubleyou。DROMIOOFSYRACUSESomedevilsaskbuttheparingsofone’snail,Arush,ahair,adropofblood,apin,Anut,acherry-stone;
Butshe,morecovetous,wouldhaveachain。
Master,bewise:anifyougiveither,Thedevilwillshakeherchainandfrightuswithit。CourtezanIprayyou,sir,myring,orelsethechain:
Ihopeyoudonotmeantocheatmeso。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEAvaunt,thouwitch!Come,Dromio,letusgo。DROMIOOFSYRACUSE’Flypride,’saysthepeacock:mistress,thatyouknow。
ExeuntAntipholusofSyracuseandDromioofSyracuseCourtezanNow,outofdoubtAntipholusismad,Elsewouldheneversodemeanhimself。
Aringhehathofmineworthfortyducats,Andforthesamehepromisedmeachain:
Bothoneandotherhedeniesmenow。
ThereasonthatIgatherheismad,Besidesthispresentinstanceofhisrage,Isamadtalehetoldto-dayatdinner,Ofhisowndoorsbeingshutagainsthisentrance。
Belikehiswife,acquaintedwithhisfits,Onpurposeshutthedoorsagainsthisway。
Mywayisnowtohiehometohishouse,Andtellhiswifethat,beinglunatic,Herush’dintomyhouseandtookperforceMyringaway。ThiscourseIfittestchoose;
Forfortyducatsistoomuchtolose。
ExitSCENEIV。Astreet。EnterANTIPHOLUSofEphesusandtheOfficerANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSFearmenot,man;Iwillnotbreakaway:
I’llgivethee,ereIleavethee,somuchmoney,Towarrantthee,asIam’restedfor。
Mywifeisinawaywardmoodto-day,AndwillnotlightlytrustthemessengerThatIshouldbeattach’dinEphesus,Itellyou,’twillsoundharshlyinherears。
EnterDROMIOofEphesuswitharope’s-endHerecomesmyman;Ithinkhebringsthemoney。
Hownow,sir!haveyouthatIsentyoufor?DROMIOOFEPHESUSHere’sthat,Iwarrantyou,willpaythemall。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSButwhere’sthemoney?DROMIOOFEPHESUSWhy,sir,Igavethemoneyfortherope。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSFivehundredducats,villain,forarope?DROMIOOFEPHESUSI’llserveyou,sir,fivehundredattherate。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSTowhatenddidIbidtheehietheehome?DROMIOOFEPHESUSToarope’s-end,sir;andtothatendamIreturned。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAndtothatend,sir,Iwillwelcomeyou。
BeatinghimOfficerGoodsir,bepatient。DROMIOOFEPHESUSNay,’tisformetobepatient;Iaminadversity。OfficerGood,now,holdthytongue。DROMIOOFEPHESUSNay,ratherpersuadehimtoholdhishands。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThouwhoreson,senselessvillain!DROMIOOFEPHESUSIwouldIweresenseless,sir,thatI
mightnotfeelyourblows。ANTIPHOLUSThouartsensibleinnothingbutblows,andsoisanass。DROMIOOFEPHESUSIamanass,indeed;youmayproveitbymylongears。Ihaveservedhimfromthehourofmynativitytothisinstant,andhavenothingathishandsformyservicebutblows。WhenIamcold,heheatsmewithbeating;whenIamwarm,hecoolsmewithbeating;IamwakedwithitwhenIsleep;
raisedwithitwhenIsit;drivenoutofdoorswithitwhenIgofromhome;welcomedhomewithitwhenIreturn;nay,Ibearitonmyshoulders,asabeggarwontherbrat;and,Ithinkwhenhehathlamedme,Ishallbegwithitfromdoortodoor。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSCome,goalong;mywifeiscomingyonder。
EnterADRIANA,LUCIANA,theCourtezan,andPINCHDROMIOOFEPHESUSMistress,’respicefinem,’respectyourend;orrather,theprophecyliketheparrot,’bewaretherope’s-end。’
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWiltthoustilltalk?
BeatinghimCourtezanHowsayyounow?isnotyourhusbandmad?ADRIANAHisincivilityconfirmsnoless。
GoodDoctorPinch,youareaconjurer;
Establishhiminhistruesenseagain,AndIwillpleaseyouwhatyouwilldemand。LUCIANAAlas,howfieryandhowsharphelooks!CourtezanMarkhowhetremblesinhisecstasy!PINCHGivemeyourhandandletmefeelyourpulse。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThereismyhand,andletitfeelyourear。
StrikinghimPINCHIchargethee,Satan,housedwithinthisman,ToyieldpossessiontomyholyprayersAndtothystateofdarknesshietheestraight:
Iconjuretheebyallthesaintsinheaven!
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSPeace,dotingwizard,peace!Iamnotmad。ADRIANAO,thatthouwertnot,poordistressedsoul!
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSYouminion,you,aretheseyourcustomers?
DidthiscompanionwiththesaffronfaceRevelandfeastitatmyhouseto-day,WhilstuponmetheguiltydoorswereshutAndIdeniedtoenterinmyhouse?ADRIANAOhusband,Goddothknowyoudinedathome;
Wherewouldyouhadremain’duntilthistime,Freefromtheseslandersandthisopenshame!
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSDinedathome!Thouvillain,whatsayestthou?DROMIOOFEPHESUSSir,soothtosay,youdidnotdineathome。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWerenotmydoorslock’dupandIshutout?DROMIOOFEPHESUSPerdie,yourdoorswerelock’dandyoushutout。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAnddidnotsheherselfrevilemethere?DROMIOOFEPHESUSSansfable,sheherselfreviledyouthere。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSDidnotherkitchen-maidrail,taunt,andscornme?DROMIOOFEPHESUSCertes,shedid;thekitchen-vestalscorn’dyou。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAnddidnotIinragedepartfromthence?DROMIOOFEPHESUSInverityyoudid;mybonesbearwitness,Thatsincehavefeltthevigourofhisrage。ADRIANAIs’tgoodtosoothehiminthesecontraries?PINCHItisnoshame:thefellowfindshisvein,Andyieldingtohimhumourswellhisfrenzy。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThouhastsuborn’dthegoldsmithtoarrestme。ADRIANAAlas,Isentyoumoneytoredeemyou,ByDromiohere,whocameinhasteforit。DROMIOOFEPHESUSMoneybyme!heartandgoodwillyoumight;
Butsurelymaster,notaragofmoney。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWent’stnotthoutoherforapurseofducats?ADRIANAHecametomeandIdeliver’dit。LUCIANAAndIamwitnesswithherthatshedid。DROMIOOFEPHESUSGodandtherope-makerbearmewitnessThatIwassentfornothingbutarope!PINCHMistress,bothmanandmasterispossess’d;
Iknowitbytheirpaleanddeadlylooks:
Theymustbeboundandlaidinsomedarkroom。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSSay,whereforedidstthoulockmeforthto-day?
Andwhydostthoudenythebagofgold?ADRIANAIdidnot,gentlehusband,locktheeforth。DROMIOOFEPHESUSAnd,gentlemaster,Ireceivednogold;
ButIconfess,sir,thatwewerelock’dout。ADRIANADissemblingvillain,thouspeak’stfalseinboth。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSDissemblingharlot,thouartfalseinall;
AndartconfederatewithadamnedpackTomakealoathsomeabjectscornofme:
ButwiththesenailsI’llpluckoutthesefalseeyesThatwouldbeholdinmethisshamefulsport。
Enterthreeorfour,andoffertobindhim。HestrivesADRIANAO,bindhim,bindhim!lethimnotcomenearme。PINCHMorecompany!Thefiendisstrongwithinhim。LUCIANAAyme,poorman,howpaleandwanhelooks!
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWhat,willyoumurderme?Thougaoler,thou,Iamthyprisoner:wiltthousufferthemTomakearescue?OfficerMasters,lethimgoHeismyprisoner,andyoushallnothavehim。PINCHGobindthisman,forheisfrantictoo。
TheyoffertobindDromioofEphesusADRIANAWhatwiltthoudo,thoupeevishofficer?
HastthoudelighttoseeawretchedmanDooutrageanddispleasuretohimself?OfficerHeismyprisoner:ifIlethimgo,Thedebtheoweswillberequiredofme。ADRIANAIwilldischargetheeereIgofromthee:
Bearmeforthwithuntohiscreditor,And,knowinghowthedebtgrows,Iwillpayit。
Goodmasterdoctor,seehimsafeconvey’dHometomyhouse。Omostunhappyday!
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSOmostunhappystrumpet!DROMIOOFEPHESUSMaster,Iamhereenteredinbondforyou。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSOutonthee,villain!whereforedostthoumadme?DROMIOOFEPHESUSWillyoubeboundfornothing?bemad,goodmaster:
cry’Thedevil!’LUCIANAGodhelp,poorsouls,howidlydotheytalk!ADRIANAGobearhimhence。Sister,goyouwithme。
ExeuntallbutAdriana,Luciana,OfficerandCourtezanSaynow,whosesuitishearrestedat?OfficerOneAngelo,agoldsmith:doyouknowhim?ADRIANAIknowtheman。Whatisthesumheowes?OfficerTwohundredducats。ADRIANASay,howgrowsitdue?OfficerDueforachainyourhusbandhadofhim。ADRIANAHedidbespeakachainforme,buthaditnot。CourtezanWhenasyourhusbandallinrageto-dayCametomyhouseandtookawaymyring——
TheringIsawuponhisfingernow——
StraightafterdidImeethimwithachain。ADRIANAItmaybeso,butIdidneverseeit。
Come,gaoler,bringmewherethegoldsmithis:
Ilongtoknowthetruthhereofatlarge。
EnterANTIPHOLUSofSyracusewithhisrapierdrawn,andDROMIOofSyracuseLUCIANAGod,forthymercy!theyarelooseagain。ADRIANAAndcomewithnakedswords。
Let’scallmorehelptohavethemboundagain。OfficerAway!they’llkillus。
ExeuntallbutAntipholusofSyracuseandDromioofSyracuseANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIseethesewitchesareafraidofswords。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEShethatwouldbeyourwifenowranfromyou。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSECometotheCentaur;fetchourstufffromthence:
Ilongthatweweresafeandsoundaboard。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEFaith,stayherethisnight;theywillsurelydousnoharm:yousawtheyspeakusfair,giveusgold:
methinkstheyaresuchagentlenationthat,butforthemountainofmadfleshthatclaimsmarriageofme,Icouldfindinmyhearttostayherestillandturnwitch。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIwillnotstayto-nightforallthetown;
Thereforeaway,togetourstuffaboard。
ExeuntACTVSCENEI。AstreetbeforeaPriory。EnterSecondMerchantandANGELOANGELOIamsorry,sir,thatIhavehinder’dyou;
But,Iprotest,hehadthechainofme,Thoughmostdishonestlyhedothdenyit。SecondMerchantHowisthemanesteemedhereinthecity?ANGELOOfveryreverendreputation,sir,Ofcreditinfinite,highlybeloved,Secondtononethatliveshereinthecity:
Hiswordmightbearmywealthatanytime。SecondMerchantSpeaksoftly;yonder,asIthink,hewalks。
EnterANTIPHOLUSofSyracuseandDROMIOofSyracuseANGELO’Tisso;andthatselfchainabouthisneckWhichheforsworemostmonstrouslytohave。
Goodsir,drawneartome,I’llspeaktohim。
SigniorAntipholus,IwondermuchThatyouwouldputmetothisshameandtrouble;
And,notwithoutsomescandaltoyourself,WithcircumstanceandoathssotodenyThischainwhichnowyouwearsoopenly:
Besidethecharge,theshame,imprisonment,Youhavedonewrongtothismyhonestfriend,Who,butforstayingonourcontroversy,Hadhoistedsailandputtoseato-day:
Thischainyouhadofme;canyoudenyit?
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIthinkIhad;Ineverdiddenyit。SecondMerchantYes,thatyoudid,sir,andforsworeittoo。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhoheardmetodenyitorforswearit?SecondMerchantTheseearsofmine,thouknow’stdidhearthee。
Fieonthee,wretch!’tispitythatthoulivestTowalkwhereanyhonestmanresort。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThouartavillaintoimpeachmethus:
I’llproveminehonourandminehonestyAgainsttheepresently,ifthoudareststand。SecondMerchantIdare,anddodefytheeforavillain。
TheydrawEnterADRIANA,LUCIANA,theCourtezan,andothersADRIANAHold,hurthimnot,forGod’ssake!heismad。
Somegetwithinhim,takehisswordaway:
BindDromiotoo,andbearthemtomyhouse。DROMIOOFSYRACUSERun,master,run;forGod’ssake,takeahouse!
Thisissomepriory。In,orwearespoil’d!
ExeuntAntipholusofSyracuseandDromioofSyracusetothePrioryEntertheLadyAbbess,AEMILIAAEMELIABequiet,people。Whereforethrongyouhither?ADRIANATofetchmypoordistractedhusbandhence。
Letuscomein,thatwemaybindhimfastAndbearhimhomeforhisrecovery。ANGELOIknewhewasnotinhisperfectwits。SecondMerchantIamsorrynowthatIdiddrawonhim。AEMELIAHowlonghaththispossessionheldtheman?ADRIANAThisweekhehathbeenheavy,sour,sad,Andmuchdifferentfromthemanhewas;
ButtillthisafternoonhispassionNe’erbrakeintoextremityofrage。AEMELIAHathhenotlostmuchwealthbywreckofsea?
Buriedsomedearfriend?HathnotelsehiseyeStray’dhisaffectioninunlawfullove?
Asinprevailingmuchinyouthfulmen,Whogivetheireyesthelibertyofgazing。
Whichofthesesorrowsishesubjectto?ADRIANATononeofthese,exceptitbethelast;
Namely,somelovethatdrewhimoftfromhome。AEMELIAYoushouldforthathavereprehendedhim。ADRIANAWhy,soIdid。AEMELIAAy,butnotroughenough。ADRIANAAsroughlyasmymodestywouldletme。AEMELIAHaply,inprivate。ADRIANAAndinassembliestoo。AEMELIAAy,butnotenough。ADRIANAItwasthecopyofourconference:
Inbedhesleptnotformyurgingit;
Atboardhefednotformyurgingit;
Alone,itwasthesubjectofmytheme;
IncompanyIoftenglancedit;
StilldidItellhimitwasvileandbad。AEMELIAAndthereofcameitthatthemanwasmad。
ThevenomclamoursofajealouswomanPoisonsmoredeadlythanamaddog’stooth。
Itseemshissleepswerehinder’dbythyrailing,Andthereforecomesitthathisheadislight。
Thousay’sthismeatwassaucedwiththyupbraidings:
Unquietmealsmakeilldigestions;
Thereoftheragingfireoffeverbred;
Andwhat’safeverbutafitofmadness?
Thousay’sthissportswerehinderdbythybrawls:
Sweetrecreationbarr’d,whatdothensueButmoodyanddullmelancholy,Kinsmantogrimandcomfortlessdespair,AndatherheelsahugeinfectioustroopOfpaledistemperaturesandfoestolife?
Infood,insportandlife-preservingrestTobedisturb’d,wouldmadormanorbeast:
TheconsequenceisthenthyjealousfitsHavescaredthyhusbandfromtheuseofwits。LUCIANASheneverreprehendedhimbutmildly,Whenhedemean’dhimselfrough,rudeandwildly。
Whybearyoutheserebukesandanswernot?ADRIANAShedidbetraymetomyownreproof。
Goodpeopleenterandlayholdonhim。AEMELIANo,notacreatureentersinmyhouse。ADRIANAThenletyourservantsbringmyhusbandforth。AEMELIANeither:hetookthisplaceforsanctuary,AnditshallprivilegehimfromyourhandsTillIhavebroughthimtohiswitsagain,Orlosemylabourinassayingit。ADRIANAIwillattendmyhusband,behisnurse,Diethissickness,foritismyoffice,Andwillhavenoattorneybutmyself;
Andthereforeletmehavehimhomewithme。AEMELIABepatient;forIwillnotlethimstirTillIhaveusedtheapprovedmeansIhave,Withwholesomesyrups,drugsandholyprayers,Tomakeofhimaformalmanagain:
Itisabranchandparcelofmineoath,Acharitabledutyofmyorder。
Thereforedepartandleavehimherewithme。ADRIANAIwillnothenceandleavemyhusbandhere:
AndillitdothbeseemyourholinessToseparatethehusbandandthewife。AEMELIABequietanddepart:thoushaltnothavehim。
ExitLUCIANAComplainuntothedukeofthisindignity。ADRIANACome,go:IwillfallprostrateathisfeetAndneverriseuntilmytearsandprayersHavewonhisgracetocomeinpersonhitherAndtakeperforcemyhusbandfromtheabbess。SecondMerchantBythis,Ithink,thedialpointsatfive:
Anon,I’msure,thedukehimselfinpersonComesthiswaytothemelancholyvale,Theplaceofdeathandsorryexecution,Behindtheditchesoftheabbeyhere。ANGELOUponwhatcause?SecondMerchantToseeareverendSyracusianmerchant,WhoputunluckilyintothisbayAgainstthelawsandstatutesofthistown,Beheadedpubliclyforhisoffence。ANGELOSeewheretheycome:wewillbeholdhisdeath。LUCIANAKneeltothedukebeforehepasstheabbey。
EnterDUKESOLINUS,attended;AEGEONbareheaded;withtheHeadsmanandotherOfficersDUKESOLINUSYetonceagainproclaimitpublicly,Ifanyfriendwillpaythesumforhim,Heshallnotdie;somuchwetenderhim。ADRIANAJustice,mostsacredduke,againsttheabbess!DUKESOLINUSSheisavirtuousandareverendlady:
Itcannotbethatshehathdonetheewrong。ADRIANAMayitpleaseyourgrace,Antipholus,myhusband,WhomImadelordofmeandallIhad,Atyourimportantletters,——thisilldayAmostoutrageousfitofmadnesstookhim;
Thatdesperatelyhehurriedthroughthestreet,Withhimhisbondman,allasmadashe——
DoingdispleasuretothecitizensByrushingintheirhouses,bearingthenceRings,jewels,anythinghisragedidlike。
OncedidIgethimboundandsenthimhome,WhilsttotakeorderforthewrongsIwent,Thathereandtherehisfuryhadcommitted。
Anon,Iwotnotbywhatstrongescape,Hebrokefromthosethathadtheguardofhim;
Andwithhismadattendantandhimself,Eachonewithirefulpassion,withdrawnswords,Metusagainandmadlybentonus,Chasedusaway;till,raisingofmoreaid,Wecameagaintobindthem。ThentheyfledIntothisabbey,whitherwepursuedthem:
AndheretheabbessshutsthegatesonusAndwillnotsufferustofetchhimout,Norsendhimforththatwemaybearhimhence。
Therefore,mostgraciousduke,withthycommandLethimbebroughtforthandbornehenceforhelp。DUKESOLINUSLongsincethyhusbandservedmeinmywars,AndItotheeengagedaprince’sword,Whenthoudidstmakehimmasterofthybed,TodohimallthegraceandgoodIcould。
Go,someofyou,knockattheabbey-gateAndbidtheladyabbesscometome。
IwilldeterminethisbeforeIstir。
EnteraServantServantOmistress,mistress,shiftandsaveyourself!
Mymasterandhismanarebothbrokeloose,Beatenthemaidsa-rowandboundthedoctorWhosebeardtheyhavesingedoffwithbrandsoffire;
Andever,asitblazed,theythrewonhimGreatpailsofpuddledmiretoquenchthehair:
MymasterpreachespatiencetohimandthewhileHismanwithscissorsnickshimlikeafool,Andsure,unlessyousendsomepresenthelp,Betweenthemtheywillkilltheconjurer。ADRIANAPeace,fool!thymasterandhismanarehere,Andthatisfalsethoudostreporttous。ServantMistress,uponmylife,Itellyoutrue;
IhavenotbreathedalmostsinceIdidseeit。
Hecriesforyou,andvows,ifhecantakeyou,Toscorchyourfaceandtodisfigureyou。
CrywithinHark,hark!Ihearhim,mistress。fly,begone!DUKESOLINUSCome,standbyme;fearnothing。Guardwithhalberds!ADRIANAAyme,itismyhusband!Witnessyou,Thatheisborneaboutinvisible:
Evennowwehousedhimintheabbeyhere;
Andnowhe’sthere,pastthoughtofhumanreason。
EnterANTIPHOLUSofEphesusandDROMIOofEphesusANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSJustice,mostgraciousduke,O,grantmejustice!
EvenfortheservicethatlongsinceIdidthee,WhenIbestridtheeinthewarsandtookDeepscarstosavethylife;evenforthebloodThatthenIlostforthee,nowgrantmejustice。AEGEONUnlessthefearofdeathdothmakemedote,IseemysonAntipholusandDromio。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSJustice,sweetprince,againstthatwomanthere!
Shewhomthougavesttometobemywife,Thathathabusedanddishonour’dmeEveninthestrengthandheightofinjury!
BeyondimaginationisthewrongThatshethisdayhathshamelessthrownonme。DUKESOLINUSDiscoverhow,andthoushaltfindmejust。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThisday,greatduke,sheshutthedoorsuponme,Whileshewithharlotsfeastedinmyhouse。DUKESOLINUSAgrievousfault!Say,woman,didstthouso?ADRIANANo,mygoodlord:myself,heandmysisterTo-daydiddinetogether。SobefallmysoulAsthisisfalseheburdensmewithal!LUCIANANe’ermayIlookonday,norsleeponnight,Butshetellstoyourhighnesssimpletruth!ANGELOOperjuredwoman!Theyarebothforsworn:
Inthisthemadmanjustlychargeththem。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSMyliege,IamadvisedwhatIsay,Neitherdisturbedwiththeeffectofwine,Norheady-rash,provokedwithragingire,Albeitmywrongsmightmakeonewisermad。
Thiswomanlock’dmeoutthisdayfromdinner:
Thatgoldsmiththere,werehenotpack’dwithher,Couldwitnessit,forhewaswithmethen;
Whopartedwithmetogofetchachain,PromisingtobringittothePorpentine,WhereBalthazarandIdiddinetogether。
Ourdinnerdone,andhenotcomingthither,Iwenttoseekhim:inthestreetImethimAndinhiscompanythatgentleman。
TheredidthisperjuredgoldsmithswearmedownThatIthisdayofhimreceivedthechain,Which,Godheknows,Isawnot:forthewhichHedidarrestmewithanofficer。
Ididobey,andsentmypeasanthomeForcertainducats:hewithnonereturn’dThenfairlyIbespoketheofficerTogoinpersonwithmetomyhouse。
BythewaywemetMywife,hersister,andarabblemoreOfvileconfederates。AlongwiththemTheybroughtonePinch,ahungrylean-facedvillain,Amereanatomy,amountebank,Athreadbarejugglerandafortune-teller,Aneedy,hollow-eyed,sharp-lookingwretch,Adead-lookingman:thisperniciousslave,Forsooth,tookonhimasaconjurer,And,gazinginmineeyes,feelingmypulse,Andwithnoface,as’twere,outfacingme,Criesout,Iwaspossess’d。ThenalltogetherTheyfelluponme,boundme,boremethenceAndinadarkanddankishvaultathomeThereleftmeandmyman,bothboundtogether;
Till,gnawingwithmyteethmybondsinsunder,Igain’dmyfreedom,andimmediatelyRanhithertoyourgrace;whomIbeseechTogivemeamplesatisfactionForthesedeepshamesandgreatindignities。ANGELOMylord,intruth,thusfarIwitnesswithhim,Thathedinednotathome,butwaslock’dout。DUKESOLINUSButhadhesuchachainoftheeorno?ANGELOHehad,mylord:andwhenheraninhere,Thesepeoplesawthechainabouthisneck。SecondMerchantBesides,IwillbesworntheseearsofmineHeardyouconfessyouhadthechainofhimAfteryoufirstforsworeitonthemart:
AndthereuponIdrewmyswordonyou;
Andthenyoufledintothisabbeyhere,Fromwhence,Ithink,youarecomebymiracle。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSInevercamewithintheseabbey-walls,Noreverdidstthoudrawthyswordonme:
Ineversawthechain,sohelpmeHeaven!
Andthisisfalseyouburdenmewithal。DUKESOLINUSWhy,whatanintricateimpeachisthis!
IthinkyouallhavedrunkofCirce’scup。
Ifhereyouhousedhim,herehewouldhavebeen;
Ifheweremad,hewouldnotpleadsocoldly:
Yousayhedinedathome;thegoldsmithhereDeniesthatsaying。Sirrah,whatsayyou?DROMIOOFEPHESUSSir,hedinedwithherthere,atthePorpentine。CourtezanHedid,andfrommyfingersnatch’dthatring。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUS’Tistrue,myliege;thisringIhadofher。DUKESOLINUSSaw’stthouhimenterattheabbeyhere?CourtezanAssure,myliege,asIdoseeyourgrace。DUKESOLINUSWhy,thisisstrange。Gocalltheabbesshither。
Ithinkyouareallmatedorstarkmad。
ExitonetoAbbessAEGEONMostmightyduke,vouchsafemespeakaword:
HaplyIseeafriendwillsavemylifeAndpaythesumthatmaydeliverme。DUKESOLINUSSpeakfreely,Syracusian,whatthouwilt。AEGEONIsnotyourname,sir,call’dAntipholus?
Andisnotthatyourbondman,Dromio?DROMIOOFEPHESUSWithinthishourIwashisbondmansir,Buthe,Ithankhim,gnaw’dintwomycords:
NowamIDromioandhismanunbound。AEGEONIamsureyoubothofyourememberme。DROMIOOFEPHESUSOurselveswedoremember,sir,byyou;
Forlatelywewerebound,asyouarenowYouarenotPinch’spatient,areyou,sir?AEGEONWhylookyoustrangeonme?youknowmewell。ANTIPHOLUSIneversawyouinmylifetillnow。AEGEONO,griefhathchangedmesinceyousawmelast,Andcarefulhourswithtime’sdeformedhandHavewrittenstrangedefeaturesinmyface:
Buttellmeyet,dostthounotknowmyvoice?
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSNeither。AEGEONDromio,northou?DROMIOOFEPHESUSNo,trustme,sir,norI。AEGEONIamsurethoudost。DROMIOOFEPHESUSAy,sir,butIamsureIdonot;andwhatsoeveramandenies,youarenowboundtobelievehim。AEGEONNotknowmyvoice!Otime’sextremity,Hastthousocrack’dandsplittedmypoortongueInsevenshortyears,thatheremyonlysonKnowsnotmyfeeblekeyofuntunedcares?
ThoughnowthisgrainedfaceofminebehidInsap-consumingwinter’sdrizzledsnow,Andalltheconduitsofmybloodfrozeup,Yethathmynightoflifesomememory,Mywastinglampssomefadingglimmerleft,Mydulldeafearsalittleusetohear:
Alltheseoldwitnesses——Icannoterr——
TellmethouartmysonAntipholus。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIneversawmyfatherinmylife。AEGEONButsevenyearssince,inSyracusa,boy,Thouknow’stweparted:butperhaps,myson,Thoushamesttoacknowledgemeinmisery。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThedukeandallthatknowmeinthecityCanwitnesswithmethatitisnotsoIne’ersawSyracusainmylife。DUKESOLINUSItellthee,Syracusian,twentyyearsHaveIbeenpatrontoAntipholus,Duringwhichtimehene’ersawSyracusa:
Iseethyageanddangersmaketheedote。
Re-enterAEMILIA,withANTIPHOLUSofSyracuseandDROMIOofSyracuseAEMELIAMostmightyduke,beholdamanmuchwrong’d。
AllgathertoseethemADRIANAIseetwohusbands,ormineeyesdeceiveme。DUKESOLINUSOneofthesemenisGeniustotheother;
Andsoofthese。Whichisthenaturalman,Andwhichthespirit?whodeciphersthem?DROMIOOFSYRACUSEI,sir,amDromio;commandhimaway。DROMIOOFEPHESUSI,sir,amDromio;pray,letmestay。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEAEgeonartthounot?orelsehisghost?DROMIOOFSYRACUSEO,myoldmaster!whohathboundhimhere?AEMELIAWhoeverboundhim,IwillloosehisbondsAndgainahusbandbyhisliberty。
Speak,oldAEgeon,ifthoube’stthemanThathadstawifeoncecall’dAEmiliaThatboretheeataburdentwofairsons:
O,ifthoube’stthesameAEgeon,speak,AndspeakuntothesameAEmilia!AEGEONIfIdreamnot,thouartAEmilia:
Ifthouartshe,tellmewhereisthatsonThatfloatedwiththeeonthefatalraft?AEMELIABymenofEpidamnumheandI
AndthetwinDromioallweretakenup;
ButbyandbyrudefishermenofCorinthByforcetookDromioandmysonfromthemAndmetheyleftwiththoseofEpidamnum。
WhatthenbecameofthemIcannottellItothisfortunethatyouseemein。DUKESOLINUSWhy,herebeginshismorningstoryright;
ThesetwoAntipholuses,thesetwosolike,AndthesetwoDromios,oneinsemblance,——
Besidesherurgingofherwreckatsea,——
Thesearetheparentstothesechildren,Whichaccidentallyaremettogether。
Antipholus,thoucamestfromCorinthfirst?
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSENo,sir,notI;IcamefromSyracuse。DUKESOLINUSStay,standapart;Iknownotwhichiswhich。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIcamefromCorinth,mymostgraciouslord,——DROMIOOFEPHESUSAndIwithhim。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSBroughttothistownbythatmostfamouswarrior,DukeMenaphon,yourmostrenowneduncle。ADRIANAWhichofyoutwodiddinewithmeto-day?
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEI,gentlemistress。ADRIANAAndarenotyoumyhusband?
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSNo;Isaynaytothat。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEAndsodoI;yetdidshecallmeso:
Andthisfairgentlewoman,hersisterhere,Didcallmebrother。
ToLucianaWhatItoldyouthen,IhopeIshallhaveleisuretomakegood;
IfthisbenotadreamIseeandhear。ANGELOThatisthechain,sir,whichyouhadofme。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIthinkitbe,sir;Idenyitnot。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAndyou,sir,forthischainarrestedme。ANGELOIthinkIdid,sir;Idenyitnot。ADRIANAIsentyoumoney,sir,tobeyourbail,ByDromio;butIthinkhebroughtitnot。DROMIOOFEPHESUSNo,nonebyme。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThispurseofducatsIreceivedfromyou,AndDromio,myman,didbringthemme。
Iseewestilldidmeeteachother’sman,AndIwasta’enforhim,andheforme,Andthereupontheseerrorsarearose。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSTheseducatspawnIformyfatherhere。DUKESOLINUSItshallnotneed;thyfatherhathhislife。CourtezanSir,Imusthavethatdiamondfromyou。
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThere,takeit;andmuchthanksformygoodcheer。AEMELIARenownedduke,vouchsafetotakethepainsTogowithusintotheabbeyhereAndhearatlargediscoursedallourfortunes:
Andallthatareassembledinthisplace,Thatbythissympathizedoneday’serrorHavesuffer’dwrong,gokeepuscompany,Andweshallmakefullsatisfaction。
Thirty-threeyearshaveIbutgoneintravailOfyou,mysons;andtillthispresenthourMyheavyburdenne’erdelivered。
Theduke,myhusbandandmychildrenboth,Andyouthecalendarsoftheirnativity,Gotoagossips’feastandgowithme;
Aftersolonggrief,suchfestivity!DUKESOLINUSWithallmyheart,I’llgossipatthisfeast。
ExeuntallbutAntipholusofSyracuse,AntipholusofEphesus,DromioofSyracuseandDromioofEphesusDROMIOOFSYRACUSEMaster,shallIfetchyourstufffromshipboard?
ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSDromio,whatstuffofminehastthouembark’d?DROMIOOFSYRACUSEYourgoodsthatlayathost,sir,intheCentaur。
ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEHespeakstome。Iamyourmaster,Dromio:
Come,gowithus;we’lllooktothatanon:
Embracethybrotherthere;rejoicewithhim。
ExeuntAntipholusofSyracuseandAntipholusofEphesusDROMIOOFSYRACUSEThereisafatfriendatyourmaster’shouse,Thatkitchen’dmeforyouto-dayatdinner:
Shenowshallbemysister,notmywife。DROMIOOFEPHESUSMethinksyouaremyglass,andnotmybrother:
IseebyyouIamasweet-facedyouth。
Willyouwalkintoseetheirgossiping?DROMIOOFSYRACUSENotI,sir;youaremyelder。DROMIOOFEPHESUSThat’saquestion:howshallwetryit?DROMIOOFSYRACUSEWe’lldrawcutsforthesenior:tillthenleadthoufirst。DROMIOOFEPHESUSNay,then,thus:
Wecameintotheworldlikebrotherandbrother;
Andnowlet’sgohandinhand,notonebeforeanother。