Meantimewehavegoneonstrengtheninginourfriendshipandregardandforminganattachmentwhich,Itrustandbelieve,willonlybeinterruptedbydeath,toberenewedinanotherexistence。I
scarcelyknowhowwecommunicateaswedo;buthehaslongsinceceasedtobedeaftome。Heisfrequentlymycompanioninmywalks,andevenincrowdedstreetsrepliestomyslightestlookorgesture,asthoughhecouldreadmythoughts。Fromthevastnumberofobjectswhichpassinrapidsuccessionbeforeoureyes,wefrequentlyselectthesameforsomeparticularnoticeorremark;
andwhenoneoftheselittlecoincidencesoccurs,Icannotdescribethepleasurewhichanimatesmyfriend,orthebeamingcountenancehewillpreserveforhalf—an—hourafterwardsatleast。
Heisagreatthinkerfromlivingsomuchwithinhimself,and,havingalivelyimagination,hasafacilityofconceivingandenlarginguponoddideas,whichrendershiminvaluabletoourlittlebody,andgreatlyastonishesourtwofriends。Hispowersinthisrespectaremuchassistedbyalargepipe,whichheassuresusoncebelongedtoaGermanStudent。Bethisasitmay,ithasundoubtedlyaveryancientandmysteriousappearance,andisofsuchcapacitythatittakesthreehoursandahalftosmokeitout。
Ihavereasontobelievethatmybarber,whoisthechiefauthorityofaknotofgossips,whocongregateeveryeveningatasmalltobacconist’shardby,hasrelatedanecdotesofthispipeandthegrimfiguresthatarecarveduponitsbowl,atwhichallthesmokersintheneighbourhoodhavestoodaghast;andIknowthatmyhousekeeper,whilesheholdsitinhighveneration,hasasuperstitiousfeelingconnectedwithitwhichwouldrenderherexceedinglyunwillingtobeleftaloneinitscompanyafterdark。
Whateversorrowmydearfriendhasknown,andwhatevergriefmaylingerinsomesecretcornerofhisheart,heisnowacheerful,placid,happycreature。Misfortunecanneverhavefallenuponsuchamanbutforsomegoodpurpose;andwhenIseeitstracesinhisgentlenatureandhisearnestfeeling,IamthelessdisposedtomurmuratsuchtrialsasImayhaveundergonemyself。Withregardtothepipe,Ihaveatheoryofmyown;Icannothelpthinkingthatitisinsomemannerconnectedwiththeeventthatbroughtustogether;forIrememberthatitwasalongtimebeforeheeventalkedaboutit;thatwhenhedid,hegrewreservedandmelancholy;
andthatitwasalongtimeyetbeforehebroughtitforth。Ihavenocuriosity,however,uponthissubject;forIknowthatitpromoteshistranquillityandcomfort,andIneednootherinducementtoregarditwithmyutmostfavour。
Suchisthedeafgentleman。Icancalluphisfigurenow,cladinsobergray,andseatedinthechimney—corner。Ashepuffsoutthesmokefromhisfavouritepipe,hecastsalookonmebrimfulofcordialityandfriendship,andsaysallmannerofkindandgenialthingsinacheerfulsmile;thenheraiseshiseyestomyclock,whichisjustabouttostrike,and,glancingfromittomeandbackagain,seemstodividehisheartbetweenus。Formyself,itisnottoomuchtosaythatIwouldgladlypartwithoneofmypoorlimbs,couldhebutheartheoldclock’svoice。
Ofourtwofriends,thefirsthasbeenallhislifeoneofthateasy,wayward,truantclasswhomtheworldisaccustomedtodesignateasnobody’senemiesbuttheirown。Bredtoaprofessionforwhichheneverqualifiedhimself,andrearedintheexpectationofafortunehehasneverinherited,hehasundergoneeveryvicissitudeofwhichsuchanexistenceiscapable。Heandhisyoungerbrother,bothorphansfromtheirchildhood,wereeducatedbyawealthyrelative,whotaughtthemtoexpectanequaldivisionofhisproperty;buttooindolenttocourt,andtoohonesttoflatter,theeldergraduallylostgroundintheaffectionsofacapriciousoldman,andtheyounger,whodidnotfailtoimprovehisopportunity,nowtriumphsinthepossessionofenormouswealth。
Histriumphistohoarditinsolitarywretchedness,andprobablytofeelwiththeexpenditureofeveryshillingagreaterpangthanthelossofhiswholeinheritanceevercosthisbrother。
JackRedburn—hewasJackRedburnatthefirstlittleschoolhewentto,whereeveryotherchildwasmasteredandsurnamed,andhehasbeenJackRedburnallhislife,orhewouldperhapshavebeenarichermanbythistime—hasbeenaninmateofmyhousetheseeightyearspast。Heismylibrarian,secretary,steward,andfirstminister;directorofallmyaffairs,andinspector—generalofmyhousehold。Heissomethingofamusician,somethingofanauthor,somethingofanactor,somethingofapainter,verymuchofacarpenter,andanextraordinarygardener,havinghadallhislifeawonderfulaptitudeforlearningeverythingthatwasofnousetohim。Heisremarkablyfondofchildren,andisthebestandkindestnurseinsicknessthateverdrewthebreathoflife。Hehasmixedwitheverygradeofsociety,andknowntheutmostdistress;butthereneverwasalessselfish,amoretender—
hearted,amoreenthusiastic,oramoreguilelessman;andIdaresay,iffewhavedonelessgood,fewerstillhavedonelessharmintheworldthanhe。BywhatchanceNatureformssuchwhimsicaljumblesIdon’tknow;butIdoknowthatshesendsthemamongusveryoften,andthatthekingofthewholeraceisJackRedburn。
Ishouldbepuzzledtosayhowoldheis。Hishealthisnoneofthebest,andhewearsaquantityofiron—grayhair,whichshadeshisfaceandgivesitratherawornappearance;butweconsiderhimquiteayoungfellownotwithstanding;andifayouthfulspirit,survivingtheroughestcontactwiththeworld,confersuponitspossessoranytitletobeconsideredyoung,thenheisamerechild。TheonlyinterruptionstohiscarelesscheerfulnessareonawetSunday,whenheisapttobeunusuallyreligiousandsolemn,andsometimesofanevening,whenhehasbeenblowingaveryslowtuneontheflute。Ontheselast—namedoccasionsheisapttoinclinetowardsthemysterious,ortheterrible。Asaspecimenofhispowersinthismood,Irefermyreaderstotheextractfromtheclock—casewhichfollowsthispaper:hebroughtittomenotlongagoatmidnight,andinformedmethatthemainincidenthadbeensuggestedbyadreamofthenightbefore。
Hisapartmentsaretwocheerfulroomslookingtowardsthegarden,andoneofhisgreatdelightsistoarrangeandrearrangethefurnitureinthesechambers,andputitineverypossiblevarietyofposition。Duringthewholetimehehasbeenhere,Idonotthinkhehassleptfortwonightsrunningwiththeheadofhisbedinthesameplace;andeverytimehemovesit,istobethelast。
Myhousekeeperwasatfirstwell—nighdistractedbythesefrequentchanges;butshehasbecomequitereconciledtothembydegrees,andhassofalleninwithhishumour,thattheyoftenconsulttogetherwithgreatgravityuponthenextfinalalteration。
Whateverhisarrangementsare,however,theyarealwaysapatternofneatness;andeveryoneofthemanifoldarticlesconnectedwithhismanifoldoccupationsistobefoundinitsownparticularplace。Untilwithinthelasttwoorthreeyearshewassubjecttoanoccasionalfit(whichusuallycameuponhiminveryfineweather),undertheinfluenceofwhichhewoulddresshimselfwithpeculiarcare,and,goingoutunderpretenceoftakingawalk,disappearedforseveraldaystogether。Atlength,aftertheintervalbetweeneachoutbreakofthisdisorderhadgraduallygrownlongerandlonger,itwhollydisappeared;andnowheseldomstirsabroad,excepttostrolloutalittlewayonasummer’sevening。
Whetherheyetmistrustshisownconstancyinthisrespect,andisthereforeafraidtowearacoat,Iknownot;butweseldomseehiminanyotheruppergarmentthananoldspectral—lookingdressing—
gown,withverydisproportionatepockets,fullofamiscellaneouscollectionofoddmatters,whichhepicksupwhereverhecanlayhishandsuponthem。
Everythingthatisafavouritewithourfriendisafavouritewithus;andthusithappensthatthefourthamongusisMr。OwenMiles,amostworthygentleman,whohadtreatedJackwithgreatkindnessbeforemydeaffriendandIencounteredhimbyanaccident,towhichImayreferonsomefutureoccasion。Mr。Mileswasonceaveryrichmerchant;butreceivingasevereshockinthedeathofhiswife,heretiredfrombusiness,anddevotedhimselftoaquiet,unostentatiouslife。Heisanexcellentman,ofthoroughlysterlingcharacter:notofquickapprehension,andnotwithoutsomeamusingprejudices,whichIshallleavetotheirowndevelopment。Heholdsusallinprofoundveneration;butJackRedburnheesteemsasakindofpleasantwonder,thathemayventuretoapproachfamiliarly。Hebelieves,notonlythatnomaneverlivedwhocoulddosomanythingsasJack,butthatnomaneverlivedwhocoulddoanythingsowell;andhenevercallsmyattentiontoanyofhisingeniousproceedings,buthewhispersinmyear,nudgingmeatthesametimewithhiselbow:’Ifhehadonlymadeithistrade,sir—ifhehadonlymadeithistrade!’
Theyareinseparablecompanions;onewouldalmostsupposethat,althoughMr。Milesneverbyanychancedoesanythinginthewayofassistance,Jackcoulddonothingwithouthim。Whetherheisreading,writing,painting,carpentering,gardening,flute—playing,orwhatnot,thereisMr。Milesbesidehim,buttoneduptothechininhisbluecoat,andlookingonwithafaceofincredulousdelight,asthoughhecouldnotcreditthetestimonyofhisownsenses,andhadamisgivingthatnomancouldbesocleverbutinadream。
Thesearemyfriends;Ihavenowintroducedmyselfandthem。
THECLOCK—CASE
ACONFESSIONFOUNDINAPRISONINTHETIMEOFCHARLESTHESECOND
Iheldalieutenant’scommissioninhisMajesty’sarmy,andservedabroadinthecampaignsof1677and1678。ThetreatyofNimeguenbeingconcluded,Ireturnedhome,andretiringfromtheservice,withdrewtoasmallestatelyingafewmileseastofLondon,whichIhadrecentlyacquiredinrightofmywife。
ThisisthelastnightIhavetolive,andIwillsetdownthenakedtruthwithoutdisguise。Iwasneverabraveman,andhadalwaysbeenfrommychildhoodofasecret,sullen,distrustfulnature。IspeakofmyselfasifIhadpassedfromtheworld;forwhileIwritethis,mygraveisdigging,andmynameiswrittenintheblack—bookofdeath。
SoonaftermyreturntoEngland,myonlybrotherwasseizedwithmortalillness。Thiscircumstancegavemeslightornopain;forsincewehadbeenmen,wehadassociatedbutverylittletogether。
Hewasopen—heartedandgenerous,handsomerthanI,moreaccomplished,andgenerallybeloved。Thosewhosoughtmyacquaintanceabroadorathome,becausetheywerefriendsofhis,seldomattachedthemselvestomelong,andwouldusuallysay,inourfirstconversation,thattheyweresurprisedtofindtwobrotherssounlikeintheirmannersandappearance。Itwasmyhabittoleadthemontothisavowal;forIknewwhatcomparisonstheymustdrawbetweenus;andhavingaranklingenvyinmyheart,Isoughttojustifyittomyself。
Wehadmarriedtwosisters。Thisadditionaltiebetweenus,asitmayappeartosome,onlyestrangedusthemore。Hiswifeknewmewell。IneverstruggledwithanysecretjealousyorgallwhenshewaspresentbutthatwomanknewitaswellasIdid。IneverraisedmyeyesatsuchtimesbutIfoundhersfixeduponme;I
neverbentthemonthegroundorlookedanotherwaybutIfeltthatsheoverlookedmealways。Itwasaninexpressiblerelieftomewhenwequarrelled,andagreaterreliefstillwhenIheardabroadthatshewasdead。Itseemstomenowasifsomestrangeandterribleforeshadowingofwhathashappenedsincemusthavehungoverusthen。Iwasafraidofher;shehauntedme;herfixedandsteadylookcomesbackuponmenow,likethememoryofadarkdream,andmakesmybloodruncold。
Shediedshortlyaftergivingbirthtoachild—aboy。Whenmybrotherknewthatallhopeofhisownrecoverywaspast,hecalledmywifetohisbedside,andconfidedthisorphan,achildoffouryearsold,toherprotection。Hebequeathedtohimallthepropertyhehad,andwilledthat,incaseofhischild’sdeath,itshouldpasstomywife,astheonlyacknowledgmenthecouldmakeherforhercareandlove。Heexchangedafewbrotherlywordswithme,deploringourlongseparation;andbeingexhausted,fellintoaslumber,fromwhichheneverawoke。
Wehadnochildren;andastherehadbeenastrongaffectionbetweenthesisters,andmywifehadalmostsuppliedtheplaceofamothertothisboy,shelovedhimasifhehadbeenherown。Thechildwasardentlyattachedtoher;buthewashismother’simageinfaceandspirit,andalwaysmistrustedme。
Icanscarcelyfixthedatewhenthefeelingfirstcameuponme;
butIsoonbegantobeuneasywhenthischildwasby。IneverrousedmyselffromsomemoodytrainofthoughtbutImarkedhimlookingatme;notwithmerechildishwonder,butwithsomethingofthepurposeandmeaningthatIhadsooftennotedinhismother。
Itwasnoeffortofmyfancy,foundedoncloseresemblanceoffeatureandexpression。Inevercouldlooktheboydown。Hefearedme,butseemedbysomeinstincttodespisemewhilehedidso;andevenwhenhedrewbackbeneathmygaze—ashewouldwhenwewerealone,togetnearertothedoor—hewouldkeephisbrighteyesuponmestill。
PerhapsIhidethetruthfrommyself,butIdonotthinkthat,whenthisbegan,Imeditatedtodohimanywrong。Imayhavethoughthowserviceablehisinheritancewouldbetous,andmayhavewishedhimdead;butIbelieveIhadnothoughtofcompassinghisdeath。
Neitherdidtheideacomeuponmeatonce,butbyveryslowdegrees,presentingitselfatfirstindimshapesataverygreatdistance,asmenmaythinkofanearthquakeorthelastday;thendrawingnearerandnearer,andlosingsomethingofitshorrorandimprobability;thencomingtobepartandparcel—naynearlythewholesumandsubstance—ofmydailythoughts,andresolvingitselfintoaquestionofmeansandsafety;notofdoingorabstainingfromthedeed。
Whilethiswasgoingonwithinme,Inevercouldbearthatthechildshouldseemelookingathim,andyetIwasunderafascinationwhichmadeitakindofbusinesswithmetocontemplatehisslightandfragilefigureandthinkhoweasilyitmightbedone。SometimesIwouldstealup—stairsandwatchhimasheslept;
butusuallyIhoveredinthegardennearthewindowoftheroominwhichhelearnthislittletasks;andthere,ashesatuponalowseatbesidemywife,Iwouldpeerathimforhourstogetherfrombehindatree;starting,liketheguiltywretchIwas,ateveryrustlingofaleaf,andstillglidingbacktolookandstartagain。
Hardbyourcottage,butquiteoutofsight,and(iftherewereanywindastir)ofhearingtoo,wasadeepsheetofwater。Ispentdaysinshapingwithmypocket—knifearoughmodelofaboat,whichIfinishedatlastanddroppedinthechild’sway。ThenIwithdrewtoasecretplace,whichhemustpassifhestoleawayalonetoswimthisbauble,andlurkedthereforhiscoming。Hecameneitherthatdaynorthenext,thoughIwaitedfromnoontillnightfall。I
wassurethatIhadhiminmynet,forIhadheardhimprattlingofthetoy,andknewthatinhisinfantpleasurehekeptitbyhissideinbed。Ifeltnowearinessorfatigue,butwaitedpatiently,andonthethirddayhepassedme,runningjoyouslyalong,withhissilkenhairstreaminginthewind,andhesinging—Godhavemercyuponme!—singingamerryballad,—whocouldhardlylispthewords。
Istoledownafterhim,creepingundercertainshrubswhichgrowinthatplace,andnonebutdevilsknowwithwhatterrorI,astrong,full—grownman,trackedthefootstepsofthatbabyasheapproachedthewater’sbrink。Iwascloseuponhim,hadsunkuponmykneeandraisedmyhandtothrusthimin,whenhesawmyshadowinthestreamandturnedhimround。
Hismother’sghostwaslookingfromhiseyes。Thesunburstforthfrombehindacloud;itshoneinthebrightsky,theglisteningearth,theclearwater,thesparklingdropsofrainupontheleaves。Therewereeyesineverything。Thewholegreatuniverseoflightwastheretoseethemurderdone。Iknownotwhathesaid;hecameofboldandmanlyblood,and,childashewas,hedidnotcrouchorfawnuponme。Iheardhimcrythathewouldtrytoloveme,—notthathedid,—andthenIsawhimrunningbacktowardsthehouse。ThenextIsawwasmyownswordnakedinmyhand,andhelyingatmyfeetstarkdead,—dabbledhereandtherewithblood,butotherwisenodifferentfromwhatIhadseenhiminhissleep—inthesameattitudetoo,withhischeekrestinguponhislittlehand。
Itookhiminmyarmsandlaidhim—verygentlynowthathewasdead—inathicket。Mywifewasfromhomethatday,andwouldnotreturnuntilthenext。Ourbedroomwindow,theonlysleeping—roomonthatsideofthehouse,wasbutafewfeetfromtheground,andIresolvedtodescendfromitatnightandburyhiminthegarden。
IhadnothoughtthatIhadfailedinmydesign,nothoughtthatthewaterwouldbedraggedandnothingfound,thatthemoneymustnowliewaste,sinceImustencouragetheideathatthechildwaslostorstolen。AllmythoughtswereboundupandknottedtogetherintheoneabsorbingnecessityofhidingwhatIhaddone。
HowIfeltwhentheycametotellmethatthechildwasmissing,whenIorderedscoutsinalldirections,whenIgaspedandtrembledateveryone’sapproach,notonguecantellormindofmanconceive。Iburiedhimthatnight。WhenIpartedtheboughsandlookedintothedarkthicket,therewasaglow—wormshininglikethevisiblespiritofGoduponthemurderedchild。IglanceddownintohisgravewhenIhadplacedhimthere,andstillitgleameduponhisbreast;aneyeoffirelookinguptoHeaveninsupplicationtothestarsthatwatchedmeatmywork。
Ihadtomeetmywife,andbreakthenews,andgiveherhopethatthechildwouldsoonbefound。AllthisIdid,—withsomeappearance,Isuppose,ofbeingsincere,forIwastheobjectofnosuspicion。Thisdone,Isatatthebedroomwindowalldaylong,andwatchedthespotwherethedreadfulsecretlay。
Itwasinapieceofgroundwhichhadbeenduguptobenewlyturfed,andwhichIhadchosenonthataccount,asthetracesofmyspadewerelesslikelytoattractattention。Themenwholaiddownthegrassmusthavethoughtmemad。Icalledtothemcontinuallytoexpeditetheirwork,ranoutandworkedbesidethem,troddowntheearthwithmyfeet,andhurriedthemwithfranticeagerness。
Theyhadfinishedtheirtaskbeforenight,andthenIthoughtmyselfcomparativelysafe。
Islept,—notasmendowhoawakerefreshedandcheerful,butI
didsleep,passingfromvagueandshadowydreamsofbeinghunteddown,tovisionsoftheplotofgrass,throughwhichnowahand,andnowafoot,andnowtheheaditselfwasstartingout。AtthispointIalwayswokeandstoletothewindow,tomakesurethatitwasnotreallyso。Thatdone,Icrepttobedagain;andthusI
spentthenightinfitsandstarts,gettingupandlyingdownfulltwentytimes,anddreamingthesamedreamoverandoveragain,—
whichwasfarworsethanlyingawake,foreverydreamhadawholenight’ssufferingofitsown。OnceIthoughtthechildwasalive,andthatIhadnevertriedtokillhim。Towakefromthatdreamwasthemostdreadfulagonyofall。
ThenextdayIsatatthewindowagain,neveroncetakingmyeyesfromtheplace,which,althoughitwascoveredbythegrass,wasasplaintome—itsshape,itssize,itsdepth,itsjaggedsides,andall—asifithadbeenopentothelightofday。Whenaservantwalkedacrossit,Ifeltasifhemustsinkin;whenhehadpassed,Ilookedtoseethathisfeethadnotworntheedges。Ifabirdlightedthere,Iwasinterrorlestbysometremendousinterpositionitshouldbeinstrumentalinthediscovery;ifabreathofairsighedacrossit,tomeitwhisperedmurder。Therewasnotasightorasound—howordinary,mean,orunimportantsoever—butwasfraughtwithfear。AndinthisstateofceaselesswatchingIspentthreedays。
Onthefourththerecametothegateonewhohadservedwithmeabroad,accompaniedbyabrotherofficerofhiswhomIhadneverseen。IfeltthatIcouldnotbeartobeoutofsightoftheplace。Itwasasummerevening,andIbademypeopletakeatableandaflaskofwineintothegarden。ThenIsatdownWITHMYCHAIR
UPONTHEGRAVE,andbeingassuredthatnobodycoulddisturbitnowwithoutmyknowledge,triedtodrinkandtalk。
Theyhopedthatmywifewaswell,—thatshewasnotobligedtokeepherchamber,—thattheyhadnotfrightenedheraway。WhatcouldIdobuttellthemwithafalteringtongueaboutthechild?
TheofficerwhomIdidnotknowwasadown—lookingman,andkepthiseyesuponthegroundwhileIwasspeaking。Eventhatterrifiedme。Icouldnotdivestmyselfoftheideathathesawsomethingtherewhichcausedhimtosuspectthetruth。Iaskedhimhurriedlyifhesupposedthat—andstopped。’Thatthechildhasbeenmurdered?’saidhe,lookingmildlyatme:’Ono!whatcouldamangainbymurderingapoorchild?’Icouldhavetoldhimwhatamangainedbysuchadeed,noonebetter:butIheldmypeaceandshiveredaswithanague。
Mistakingmyemotion,theywereendeavouringtocheermewiththehopethattheboywouldcertainlybefound,—greatcheerthatwasforme!—whenweheardalowdeephowl,andpresentlytheresprungoverthewalltwogreatdogs,who,boundingintothegarden,repeatedthebayingsoundwehadheardbefore。
’Bloodhounds!’criedmyvisitors。
Whatneedtotellmethat!Ihadneverseenoneofthatkindinallmylife,butIknewwhattheywereandforwhatpurposetheyhadcome。Igraspedtheelbowsofmychair,andneitherspokenormoved。
’Theyareofthegenuinebreed,’saidthemanwhomIhadknownabroad,’andbeingoutforexercisehavenodoubtescapedfromtheirkeeper。’
Bothheandhisfriendturnedtolookatthedogs,whowiththeirnosestothegroundmovedrestlesslyabout,runningtoandfro,andupanddown,andacross,androundincircles,careeringaboutlikewildthings,andallthistimetakingnonoticeofus,buteverandagainrepeatingtheyellwehadheardalready,thendroppingtheirnosestothegroundagainandtrackingearnestlyhereandthere。
Theynowbegantosnufftheearthmoreeagerlythantheyhaddoneyet,andalthoughtheywerestillveryrestless,nolongerbeataboutinsuchwidecircuits,butkeptneartoonespot,andconstantlydiminishedthedistancebetweenthemselvesandme。
AtlasttheycameupclosetothegreatchaironwhichIsat,andraisingtheirfrightfulhowloncemore,triedtotearawaythewoodenrailsthatkeptthemfromthegroundbeneath。IsawhowI
looked,inthefacesofthetwowhowerewithme。
’Theyscentsomeprey,’saidthey,bothtogether。
’Theyscentnoprey!’criedI。
’InHeaven’sname,move!’saidtheoneIknew,veryearnestly,’oryouwillbetorntopieces。’
’Letthemtearmefromlimbtolimb,I’llneverleavethisplace!’
criedI。’Aredogstohurrymentoshamefuldeaths?Hewthemdown,cuttheminpieces。’
’Thereissomefoulmysteryhere!’saidtheofficerwhomIdidnotknow,drawinghissword。’InKingCharles’sname,assistmetosecurethisman。’
Theybothsetuponmeandforcedmeaway,thoughIfoughtandbitandcaughtatthemlikeamadman。Afterastruggle,theygotmequietlybetweenthem;andthen,myGod!Isawtheangrydogstearingattheearthandthrowingitupintotheairlikewater。
WhatmorehaveItotell?ThatIfelluponmyknees,andwithchatteringteethconfessedthetruth,andprayedtobeforgiven。
ThatIhavesincedenied,andnowconfesstoitagain。ThatIhavebeentriedforthecrime,foundguilty,andsentenced。ThatIhavenotthecouragetoanticipatemydoom,ortobearupmanfullyagainstit。ThatIhavenocompassion,noconsolation,nohope,nofriend。Thatmywifehashappilylostforthetimethosefacultieswhichwouldenablehertoknowmymiseryorhers。ThatIamaloneinthisstonedungeonwithmyevilspirit,andthatIdieto—
morrow。
CORRESPONDENCE
MasterHumphreyhasbeenfavouredwiththefollowingletterwrittenonstrongly—scentedpaper,andsealedinlight—bluewaxwiththerepresentationoftwoveryplumpdovesinterchangingbeaks。Itdoesnotcommencewithanyoftheusualformsofaddress,butbeginsasisheresetforth。
Bath,Wednesdaynight。
Heavens!intowhatanindiscretiondoIsuffermyselftobebetrayed!Toaddressthesefalteringlinestoatotalstranger,andthatstrangeroneofaconflictingsex!—andyetIamprecipitatedintotheabyss,andhavenopowerofself—snatchation(forgivemeifIcointhatphrase)fromtheyawninggulfbeforeme。
Yes,Iamwritingtoaman;butletmenotthinkofthat,formadnessisinthethought。Youwillunderstandmyfeelings?O
yes,Iamsureyouwill;andyouwillrespectthemtoo,andnotdespisethem,—willyou?
Letmebecalm。Thatportrait,—smilingasoncehesmiledonme;
thatcane,—danglingasIhaveseenitdanglefromhishandIknownothowoft;thoselegsthathaveglidedthroughmynightlydreamsandneverstoppedtospeak;theperfectlygentlemanly,thoughfalseoriginal,—canIbemistaken?Ono,no。
Letmebecalmeryet;Iwouldbecalmascoffins。Youhavepublishedaletterfromonewhoselikenessisengraved,butwhosename(andwherefore?)issuppressed。ShallIbreathethatname!
Isit—butwhyaskwhenmyhearttellsmetootrulythatitis!
Iwouldnotupbraidhimwithhistreachery;Iwouldnotremindhimofthosetimeswhenheplightedthemosteloquentofvows,andprocuredfrommeasmallpecuniaryaccommodation;andyetIwouldseehim—seehimdidIsay—HIM—alas!suchiswoman’snature。
Forasthepoetbeautifullysays—butyouwillalreadyhaveanticipatedthesentiment。Isitnotsweet?Oyes!
Itwasinthiscity(hallowedbytherecollection)thatImethimfirst;andassuredlyifmortalhappinessberecordedanywhere,thenthoserubberswiththeirthree—and—sixpennypointsarescoredontabletsofcelestialbrass。Healwaysheldanhonour—generallytwo。Onthateventfulnightwestoodateight。Heraisedhiseyes(luminousintheirseductivesweetness)tomyagitatedface。’CAN
you?’saidhe,withpeculiarmeaning。Ifeltthegentlepressureofhisfootonmine;ourcornsthrobbedinunison。’CANyou?’hesaidagain;andeverylineamentofhisexpressivecountenanceaddedthewords’resistme?’Imurmured’No,’andfainted。
Theysaid,whenIrecovered,itwastheweather。Isaiditwasthenutmeginthenegus。Howlittledidtheysuspectthetruth!Howlittledidtheyguessthedeepmysteriousmeaningofthatinquiry!
Hecallednextmorningonhisknees;Idonotmeantosaythatheactuallycameinthatpositiontothehouse—door,butthathewentdownuponthosejointsdirectlytheservanthadretired。Hebroughtsomeversesinhishat,whichhesaidwereoriginal,butwhichIhavesincefoundwereMilton’s;likewisealittlebottlelabelledlaudanum;alsoapistolandasword—stick。Hedrewthelatter,uncorkedtheformer,andclickedthetriggerofthepocketfire—arm。Hehadcome,hesaid,toconquerortodie。Hedidnotdie。Hewrestedfrommeanavowalofmylove,andletoffthepistoloutofabackwindowprevioustopartakingofaslightrepast。
Faithless,inconstantman!Howmanyagesseemtohaveelapsedsincehisunaccountableandperfidiousdisappearance!CouldI
stillforgivehimboththatandtheborrowedlucrethathepromisedtopaynextweek!CouldIspurnhimfrommyfeetifheapproachedinpenitence,andwithamatrimonialobject!Wouldtheblandishingenchanterstillweavehisspellsaroundme,orshouldIburstthemallandturnawayincoldness!Idarenottrustmyweaknesswiththethought。
Mybrainisinawhirlagain。Youknowhisaddress,hisoccupations,hismodeoflife,—areacquainted,perhaps,withhisinmostthoughts。Youareahumaneandphilanthropiccharacter;
revealallyouknow—all;butespeciallythestreetandnumberofhislodgings。Thepostisdeparting,thebellmanrings,—prayHeavenitbenottheknellofloveandhopetoBELINDA。
P。S。Pardonthewanderingsofabadpenandadistractedmind。
AddresstothePost—office。Thebellman,renderedimpatientbydelay,isringingdreadfullyinthepassage。
P。P。S。Iopenthistosaythatthebellmanisgone,andthatyoumustnotexpectittillthenextpost;sodon’tbesurprisedwhenyoudon’tgetit。
MasterHumphreydoesnotfeelhimselfatlibertytofurnishhisfaircorrespondentwiththeaddressofthegentlemaninquestion,buthepublishesherletterasapublicappealtohisfaithandgallantry。
CHAPTERIII—MASTERHUMPHREY’SVISITOR
WHENIaminathoughtfulmood,Ioftensucceedindivertingthecurrentofsomemournfulreflections,byconjuringupanumberoffancifulassociationswiththeobjectsthatsurroundme,anddwellinguponthescenesandcharacterstheysuggest。
Ihavebeenledbythishabittoassigntoeveryroominmyhouseandeveryoldstaringportraitonitswallsaseparateinterestofitsown。Thus,Iampersuadedthatastatelydame,terribletobeholdinherrigidmodesty,whohangsabovethechimney—pieceofmybedroom,istheformerladyofthemansion。Inthecourtyardbelowisastonefaceofsurpassingugliness,whichIhavesomehow—inakindofjealousy,Iamafraid—associatedwithherhusband。
Abovemystudyisalittleroomwithivypeepingthroughthelattice,fromwhichIbringtheirdaughter,alovelygirlofeighteenornineteenyearsofage,anddutifulinallrespectssaveone,thatonebeingherdevotedattachmenttoayounggentlemanonthestairs,whosegrandmother(degradedtoadisusedlaundryinthegarden)piquesherselfuponanoldfamilyquarrel,andistheimplacableenemyoftheirlove。WithsuchmaterialsastheseI
workoutmanyalittledrama,whosechiefmeritis,thatIcanbringittoahappyendatwill。Ihavesomanyofthemonhand,thatifonmyreturnhomeoneoftheseeveningsIweretofindsomebluffoldwightoftwocenturiesagocomfortablyseatedinmyeasychair,andalovelorndamselvainlyappealingtohisheart,andleaningherwhitearmuponmyclockitself,IverilybelieveI
shouldonlyexpressmysurprisethattheyhadkeptmewaitingsolong,andneverhonouredmewithacallbefore。
Iwasinsuchamoodasthis,sittinginmygardenyesterdaymorningundertheshadeofafavouritetree,revellinginallthebloomandbrightnessaboutme,andfeelingeverysenseofhopeandenjoymentquickenedbythismostbeautifulseasonofSpring,whenmymeditationswereinterruptedbytheunexpectedappearanceofmybarberattheendofthewalk,whoIimmediatelysawwascomingtowardsmewithahastystepthatbetokenedsomethingremarkable。
Mybarberisatalltimesaverybrisk,bustling,activelittleman,—forheis,asitwere,chubbyallover,withoutbeingstoutorunwieldy,—butyesterdayhisalacritywassoveryuncommonthatitquitetookmebysurprise。ForcouldIfailtoobservewhenhecameuptomethathisgrayeyesweretwinklinginamostextraordinarymanner,thathislittlerednosewasinanunusualglow,thateverylineinhisroundbrightfacewastwistedandcurvedintoanexpressionofpleasedsurprise,andthathiswholecountenancewasradiantwithglee?Iwasstillmoresurprisedtoseemyhousekeeper,whousuallypreservesaverystaidair,andstandssomewhatuponherdignity,peepingroundthehedgeatthebottomofthewalk,andexchangingnodsandsmileswiththebarber,whotwiceorthricelookedoverhisshoulderforthatpurpose。I
couldconceivenoannouncementtowhichtheseappearancescouldbetheprelude,unlessitwerethattheyhadmarriedeachotherthatmorning。
Iwas,consequently,alittledisappointedwhenitonlycameoutthattherewasagentlemaninthehousewhowishedtospeakwithme。
’Andwhoisit?’saidI。
Thebarber,withhisfacescrewedupstilltighterthanbefore,repliedthatthegentlemanwouldnotsendhisname,butwishedtoseeme。Iponderedforamoment,wonderingwhothisvisitormightbe,andIremarkedthatheembracedtheopportunityofexchanginganothernodwiththehousekeeper,whostilllingeredinthedistance。
’Well!’saidI,’bidthegentlemancomehere。’
Thisseemedtobetheconsummationofthebarber’shopes,forheturnedsharpround,andactuallyranaway。
Now,mysightisnotverygoodatadistance,andthereforewhenthegentlemanfirstappearedinthewalk,Iwasnotquiteclearwhetherhewasastrangertomeorotherwise。Hewasanelderlygentleman,butcametrippingalonginthepleasantestmannerconceivable,avoidingthegarden—rollerandthebordersofthebedswithinimitabledexterity,pickinghiswayamongtheflower—pots,andsmilingwithunspeakablegoodhumour。Beforehewashalf—wayupthewalkhebegantosaluteme;thenIthoughtIknewhim;butwhenhecametowardsmewithhishatinhishand,thesunshiningonhisbaldhead,hisblandface,hisbrightspectacles,hisfawn—
colouredtights,andhisblackgaiters,—thenmyheartwarmedtowardshim,andIfeltquitecertainthatitwasMr。Pickwick。
’Mydearsir,’saidthatgentlemanasIrosetoreceivehim,’praybeseated。Praysitdown。Now,donotstandonmyaccount。I
mustinsistuponit,really。’WiththesewordsMr。Pickwickgentlypressedmedownintomyseat,andtakingmyhandinhis,shookitagainandagainwithawarmthofmannerperfectlyirresistible。I
endeavouredtoexpressinmywelcomesomethingofthatheartinessandpleasurewhichthesightofhimawakened,andmadehimsitdownbesideme。Allthistimehekeptalternatelyreleasingmyhandandgraspingitagain,andsurveyingmethroughhisspectacleswithsuchabeamingcountenanceasInevertillthenbeheld。
’Youknewmedirectly!’saidMr。Pickwick。’Whatapleasureitistothinkthatyouknewmedirectly!’
IremarkedthatIhadreadhisadventuresveryoften,andhisfeatureswerequitefamiliartomefromthepublishedportraits。
AsIthoughtitagoodopportunityofadvertingtothecircumstance,Icondoledwithhimuponthevariouslibelsonhischaracterwhichhadfoundtheirwayintoprint。Mr。Pickwickshookhishead,andforamomentlookedveryindignant,butsmilingagaindirectly,addedthatnodoubtIwasacquaintedwithCervantes’sintroductiontothesecondpartofDonQuixote,andthatitfullyexpressedhissentimentsonthesubject。
’Butnow,’saidMr。Pickwick,’don’tyouwonderhowIfoundyouout?’
’Ishallneverwonder,and,withyourgoodleave,neverknow,’saidI,smilinginmyturn。’Itisenoughformethatyougivemethisgratification。IhavenottheleastdesirethatyoushouldtellmebywhatmeansIhaveobtainedit。’
’Youareverykind,’returnedMr。Pickwick,shakingmebythehandagain;’youaresoexactlywhatIexpected!ButforwhatparticularpurposedoyouthinkIhavesoughtyou,mydearsir?
NowwhatDOyouthinkIhavecomefor?’
Mr。PickwickputthisquestionasthoughhewerepersuadedthatitwasmorallyimpossiblethatIcouldbyanymeansdivinethedeeppurposeofhisvisit,andthatitmustbehiddenfromallhumanken。Therefore,althoughIwasrejoicedtothinkthatIhadanticipatedhisdrift,Ifeignedtobequiteignorantofit,andafterabriefconsiderationshookmyheaddespairingly。
’Whatshouldyousay,’saidMr。Pickwick,layingtheforefingerofhislefthanduponmycoat—sleeve,andlookingatmewithhisheadthrownback,andalittleononeside,—’whatshouldyousayifI
confessedthatafterreadingyouraccountofyourselfandyourlittlesociety,Ihadcomehere,ahumblecandidateforoneofthoseemptychairs?’
’Ishouldsay,’Ireturned,’thatIknowofonlyonecircumstancewhichcouldstillfurtherendearthatlittlesocietytome,andthatwouldbetheassociatingwithitmyoldfriend,—foryoumustletmecallyouso,—myoldfriend,Mr。Pickwick。’
AsImadehimthisanswereveryfeatureofMr。Pickwick’sfacefuseditselfintooneall—pervadingexpressionofdelight。Aftershakingmeheartilybybothhandsatonce,hepattedmegentlyontheback,andthen—Iwellunderstoodwhy—coloureduptotheeyes,andhopedwithgreatearnestnessofmannerthathehadnothurtme。
Ifhehad,Iwouldhavebeencontentthatheshouldhaverepeatedtheoffenceahundredtimesratherthansupposeso;butashehadnot,Ihadnodifficultyinchangingthesubjectbymakinganinquirywhichhadbeenuponmylipstwentytimesalready。
’Youhavenottoldme,’saidI,’anythingaboutSamWeller。’
’O!Sam,’repliedMr。Pickwick,’isthesameasever。Thesametrue,faithfulfellowthatheeverwas。WhatshouldItellyouaboutSam,mydearsir,exceptthatheismoreindispensabletomyhappinessandcomforteverydayofmylife?’
’AndMr。Wellersenior?’saidI。
’OldMr。Weller,’returnedMr。Pickwick,’isinnorespectmorealteredthanSam,unlessitbethatheisalittlemoreopinionatedthanhewasformerly,andperhapsattimesmoretalkative。Hespendsagooddealofhistimenowinourneighbourhood,andhassoconstitutedhimselfapartofmybodyguard,thatwhenIaskpermissionforSamtohaveaseatinyourkitchenonclocknights(supposingyourthreefriendsthinkmeworthytofilloneofthechairs),IamafraidImustoftenincludeMr。Wellertoo。’
IveryreadilypledgedmyselftogivebothSamandhisfatherafreeadmissiontomyhouseatallhoursandseasons,andthispointsettled,wefellintoalengthyconversationwhichwascarriedonwithaslittlereserveonbothsidesasifwehadbeenintimatefriendsfromouryouth,andwhichconveyedtomethecomfortableassurancethatMr。Pickwick’sbuoyancyofspirit,andindeedallhisoldcheerfulcharacteristics,werewhollyunimpaired。Ashehadspokenoftheconsentofmyfriendsasbeingyetinabeyance,I
repeatedlyassuredhimthathisproposalwascertaintoreceivetheirmostjoyfulsanction,andseveraltimesentreatedthathewouldgivemeleavetointroducehimtoJackRedburnandMr。Miles(whowerenearathand)withoutfurtherceremony。
Tothisproposal,however,Mr。Pickwick’sdelicacywouldbynomeansallowhimtoaccede,forheurgedthathiseligibilitymustbeformallydiscussed,andthat,untilthishadbeendone,hecouldnotthinkofobtrudinghimselffurther。TheutmostIcouldobtainfromhimwasapromisethathewouldattenduponournextnightofmeeting,thatImighthavethepleasureofpresentinghimimmediatelyonhiselection。
Mr。Pickwick,havingwithmanyblushesplacedinmyhandsasmallrollofpaper,whichhetermedhis’qualification,’putagreatmanyquestionstometouchingmyfriends,andparticularlyJackRedburn,whomherepeatedlytermed’afinefellow,’andinwhosefavourIcouldseehewasstronglypredisposed。WhenIhadsatisfiedhimonthesepoints,Itookhimupintomyroom,thathemightmakeacquaintancewiththeoldchamberwhichisourplaceofmeeting。
’Andthis,’saidMr。Pickwick,stoppingshort,’istheclock!Dearme!Andthisisreallytheoldclock!’
Ithoughthewouldneverhavecomeawayfromit。Afteradvancingtowardsitsoftly,andlayinghishanduponitwithasmuchrespectandasmanysmilinglooksasifitwerealive,hesethimselftoconsideritineverypossibledirection,nowmountingonachairtolookatthetop,nowgoingdownuponhiskneestoexaminethebottom,nowsurveyingthesideswithhisspectaclesalmosttouchingthecase,andnowtryingtopeepbetweenitandthewalltogetaslightviewoftheback。Thenhewouldretireapaceortwoandlookupatthedialtoseeitgo,andthendrawnearagainandstandwithhisheadononesidetohearittick:neverfailingtoglancetowardsmeatintervalsofafewsecondseach,andnodhisheadwithsuchcomplacentgratificationasIamquiteunabletodescribe。Hisadmirationwasnotconfinedtotheclockeither,butextendeditselftoeveryarticleintheroom;andreally,whenhehadgonethroughthemeveryone,andatlastsathimselfdowninallthesixchairs,oneafteranother,totryhowtheyfelt,I
neversawsuchapictureofgood—humourandhappinessashepresented,fromthetopofhisshiningheaddowntotheverylastbuttonofhisgaiters。
Ishouldhavebeenwellpleased,andshouldhavehadtheutmostenjoymentofhiscompany,ifhehadremainedwithmeallday,butmyfavourite,strikingthehour,remindedhimthathemusttakehisleave。Icouldnotforbeartellinghimoncemorehowgladhehadmademe,andweshookhandsallthewaydown—stairs。
WehadnosoonerarrivedintheHallthanmyhousekeeper,glidingoutofherlittleroom(shehadchangedhergownandcap,I
observed),greetedMr。Pickwickwithherbestsmileandcourtesy;
andthebarber,feigningtobeaccidentallypassingonhiswayout,madehimavastnumberofbows。Whenthehousekeepercourtesied,Mr。Pickwickbowedwiththeutmostpoliteness,andwhenhebowed,thehousekeepercourtesiedagain;betweenthehousekeeperandthebarber,IshouldsaythatMr。Pickwickfacedaboutandbowedwithundiminishedaffabilityfiftytimesatleast。
Isawhimtothedoor;anomnibuswasatthemomentpassingthecornerofthelane,whichMr。Pickwickhailedandranafterwithextraordinarynimbleness。Whenhehadgotabouthalf—way,heturnedhishead,andseeingthatIwasstilllookingafterhimandthatIwavedmyhand,stopped,evidentlyirresolutewhethertocomebackandshakehandsagain,ortogoon。Themanbehindtheomnibusshouted,andMr。Pickwickranalittlewaytowardshim:
thenhelookedroundatme,andranalittlewaybackagain。Thentherewasanothershout,andheturnedroundoncemoreandrantheotherway。Afterseveralofthesevibrations,themansettledthequestionbytakingMr。Pickwickbythearmandputtinghimintothecarriage;buthislastactionwastoletdownthewindowandwavehishattomeasitdroveoff。
Ilostnotimeinopeningtheparcelhehadleftwithme。Thefollowingwereitscontents:—
MR。PICKWICK’STALE
AgoodmanyyearshavepassedawaysinceoldJohnPodgerslivedinthetownofWindsor,wherehewasborn,andwhere,incourseoftime,hecametobecomfortablyandsnuglyburied。YoumaybesurethatinthetimeofKingJamestheFirst,Windsorwasaveryquaintqueeroldtown,andyoumaytakeituponmyauthoritythatJohnPodgerswasaveryquaintqueeroldfellow;consequentlyheandWindsorfittedeachothertoanicety,andseldompartedcompanyevenforhalfaday。
JohnPodgerswasbroad,sturdy,Dutch—built,short,andaveryhardeater,asmenofhisfigureoftenare。Beingahardsleeperlikewise,hedividedhistimeprettyequallybetweenthesetworecreations,alwaysfallingasleepwhenhehaddoneeating,andalwaystakinganotherturnatthetrencherwhenhehaddonesleeping,bywhichmeanshegrewmorecorpulentandmoredrowsyeverydayofhislife。Indeeditusedtobecurrentlyreportedthatwhenhesaunteredupanddownthesunnysideofthestreetbeforedinner(asheneverfailedtodoinfairweather),heenjoyedhissoundestnap;butmanypeopleheldthistobeafiction,ashehadseveraltimesbeenseentolookafterfatoxenonmarket—days,andhadevenbeenheard,bypersonsofgoodcreditandreputation,tochuckleatthesight,andsaytohimselfwithgreatglee,’Livebeef,livebeef!’ItwasuponthisevidencethatthewisestpeopleinWindsor(beginningwiththelocalauthoritiesofcourse)heldthatJohnPodgerswasamanofstrong,soundsense,notwhatiscalledsmart,perhaps,anditmightbeofaratherlazyandapoplecticturn,butstillamanofsolidparts,andonewhomeantmuchmorethanhecaredtoshow。Thisimpressionwasconfirmedbyaverydignifiedwayhehadofshakinghisheadandimparting,atthesametime,apendulousmotiontohisdoublechin;
inshort,hepassedforoneofthosepeoplewho,beingplungedintotheThames,wouldmakenovaineffortstosetitafire,butwouldstraightwayflopdowntothebottomwithadealofgravity,andbehighlyrespectedinconsequencebyallgoodmen。
Beingwelltodointheworld,andapeacefulwidower,—havingagreatappetite,which,ashecouldaffordtogratifyit,wasaluxuryandnoinconvenience,andapowerofgoingtosleep,which,ashehadnooccasiontokeepawake,wasamostenviablefaculty,—
youwillreadilysupposethatJohnPodgerswasahappyman。Butappearancesareoftendeceptivewhentheyleastseemso,andthetruthisthat,notwithstandinghisextremesleekness,hewasrendereduneasyinhismindandexceedinglyuncomfortablebyaconstantapprehensionthatbesethimnightandday。
Youknowverywellthatinthosetimesthereflourisheddiverseviloldwomenwho,underthenameofWitches,spreadgreatdisorderthroughtheland,andinflictedvariousdismaltorturesuponChristianmen;stickingpinsandneedlesintothemwhentheyleastexpectedit,andcausingthemtowalkintheairwiththeirfeetupwards,tothegreatterroroftheirwivesandfamilies,whowerenaturallyverymuchdisconcertedwhenthemasterofthehouseunexpectedlycamehome,knockingatthedoorwithhisheelsandcombinghishaironthescraper。Theseweretheircommonestpranks,buttheyeverydayplayedahundredothers,ofwhichnonewerelessobjectionable,andmanyweremuchmoreso,beingimproperbesides;theresultwasthatvengeancewasdenouncedagainstalloldwomen,withwhomeventhekinghimselfhadnosympathy(ashecertainlyoughttohavehad),forwithhisownmostGracioushandhepennedamostGraciousconsignmentofthemtoeverlastingwrath,anddevisedmostGraciousmeansfortheirconfusionandslaughter,invirtuewhereofscarcelyadaypassedbutonewitchattheleastwasmostgraciouslyhanged,drowned,orroastedinsomepartofhisdominions。StillthepressteemedwithstrangeandterriblenewsfromtheNorthortheSouth,ortheEastortheWest,relativetowitchesandtheirunhappyvictimsinsomecornerofthecountry,andthePublic’shairstoodonendtothatdegreethatitlifteditshatoffitshead,andmadeitsfacepalewithterror。
YoumaybelievethatthelittletownofWindsordidnotescapethegeneralcontagion。Theinhabitantsboiledawitchontheking’sbirthdayandsentabottleofthebrothtocourt,withadutifuladdressexpressiveoftheirloyalty。Theking,beingratherfrightenedbythepresent,piouslybestoweditupontheArchbishopofCanterbury,andreturnedananswertotheaddress,whereinhegavethemgoldenrulesfordiscoveringwitches,andlaidgreatstressuponcertainprotectingcharms,andespeciallyhorseshoes。
Immediatelythetowns—peoplewenttoworknailinguphorseshoesovereverydoor,andsomanyanxiousparentsapprenticedtheirchildrentofarrierstokeepthemoutofharm’sway,thatitbecamequiteagenteeltrade,andflourishedexceedingly。
InthemidstofallthisbustleJohnPodgersateandsleptasusual,butshookhisheadagreatdealoftenerthanwashiscustom,andwasobservedtolookattheoxenless,andattheoldwomenmore。Hehadalittleshelfputupinhissitting—room,whereonwasdisplayed,inarowwhichgrewlongereveryweek,allthewitchcraftliteratureofthetime;hegrewlearnedincharmsandexorcisms,hintedatcertainquestionablefemalesonbroomstickswhomhehadseenfromhischamberwindow,ridingintheairatnight,andwasinconstantterrorofbeingbewitched。Atlength,fromperpetuallydwellinguponthisoneidea,which,beingaloneinhishead,hadallitsownway,thefearofwitchesbecamethesinglepassionofhislife。He,whouptothattimehadneverknownwhatitwastodream,begantohavevisionsofwitcheswheneverhefellasleep;waking,theywereincessantlypresenttohisimaginationlikewise;and,sleepingorwaking,hehadnotamoment’speace。Hebegantosetwitch—trapsinthehighway,andwasoftenseenlyinginwaitroundthecornerforhourstogether,towatchtheireffect。Theseengineswereofsimpleconstruction,usuallyconsistingoftwostrawsdisposedintheformofacross,orapieceofaBiblecoverwithapinchofsaltuponit;buttheywereinfallible,andifanoldwomanchancedtostumbleoverthem(asnotunfrequentlyhappened,thechosenspotbeingabrokenandstonyplace),Johnstartedfromadoze,pouncedoutuponher,andhungroundhernecktillassistancearrived,whenshewasimmediatelycarriedawayanddrowned。Bydintofconstantlyinveiglingoldladiesanddisposingoftheminthissummarymanner,heacquiredthereputationofagreatpubliccharacter;andashereceivednoharminthesepursuitsbeyondascratchedfaceorso,hecame,inthecourseoftime,tobeconsideredwitch—proof。
TherewasbutonepersonwhoentertainedtheleastdoubtofJohnPodgers’sgifts,andthatpersonwashisownnephew,awild,rovingyoungfellowoftwentywhohadbeenbroughtupinhisuncle’shouseandlivedtherestill,—thatistosay,whenhewasathome,whichwasnotasoftenasitmighthavebeen。Ashewasanaptscholar,itwashewhoreadaloudeveryfreshpieceofstrangeandterribleintelligencethatJohnPodgersbought;andthishealwaysdidofaneveninginthelittleporchinfrontofthehouse,roundwhichtheneighbourswouldflockincrowdstohearthedirefulnews,—forpeopleliketobefrightened,andwhentheycanbefrightenedfornothingandatanotherman’sexpense,theylikeitallthebetter。
Onefinemidsummerevening,agroupofpersonsweregatheredinthisplace,listeningintentlytoWillMarks(thatwasthenephew’sname),aswithhiscapverymuchononeside,hisarmcoiledslylyroundthewaistofaprettygirlwhosatbesidehim,andhisfacescrewedintoacomicalexpressionintendedtorepresentextremegravity,heread—withHeavenknowshowmanyembellishmentsofhisown—adismalaccountofagentlemandowninNorthamptonshireundertheinfluenceofwitchcraftandtakenforciblepossessionofbytheDevil,whowasplayinghisveryselfwithhim。JohnPodgers,inahighsugar—loafhatandshortcloak,filledtheoppositeseat,andsurveyedtheauditorywithalookofmingledprideandhorrorveryedifyingtosee;whilethehearers,withtheirheadsthrustforwardandtheirmouthsopen,listenedandtrembled,andhopedtherewasagreatdealmoretocome。SometimesWillstoppedforaninstanttolookrounduponhiseageraudience,andthen,withamorecomicalexpressionoffacethanbeforeandasettlingofhimselfcomfortably,whichincludedasqueezeoftheyoungladybeforementioned,helaunchedintosomenewwondersurpassingalltheothers。
Thesettingsunshedhislastgoldenraysuponthislittleparty,who,absorbedintheirpresentoccupation,tooknoheedoftheapproachofnight,orthegloryinwhichthedaywentdown,whenthesoundofahorse,approachingatagoodroundtrot,invadingthesilenceofthehour,causedthereadertomakeasuddenstop,andthelistenerstoraisetheirheadsinwonder。Norwastheirwonderdiminishedwhenahorsemandasheduptotheporch,andabruptlycheckinghissteed,inquiredwhereoneJohnPodgersdwelt。
’Here!’criedadozenvoices,whileadozenhandspointedoutsturdyJohn,stillbaskingintheterrorsofthepamphlet。
Therider,givinghisbridletooneofthosewhosurroundedhim,dismounted,andapproachedJohn,hatinhand,butwithgreathaste。
’Whencecomeye?’saidJohn。
’FromKingston,master。’
’Andwherefore?’
’Onmostpressingbusiness。’
’Ofwhatnature?’
’Witchcraft。’
Witchcraft!Everybodylookedaghastatthebreathlessmessenger,andthebreathlessmessengerlookedequallyaghastateverybody—
exceptWillMarks,who,findinghimselfunobserved,notonlysqueezedtheyoungladyagain,butkissedhertwice。Surelyhemusthavebeenbewitchedhimself,orhenevercouldhavedoneit—
andtheyoungladytoo,orsheneverwouldhavelethim。
’Witchcraft!’criedWill,drowningthesoundofhislastkiss,whichwasratheraloudone。
Themessengerturnedtowardshim,andwithafrownrepeatedthewordmoresolemnlythanbefore;thentoldhiserrand,whichwas,inbrief,thatthepeopleofKingstonhadbeengreatlyterrifiedforsomenightspastbyhideousrevels,heldbywitchesbeneaththegibbetwithinamileofthetown,andrelatedanddeposedtobychancewayfarerswhohadpassedwithinear—shotofthespot;thatthesoundoftheirvoicesintheirwildorgieshadbeenplainlyheardbymanypersons;thatthreeoldwomenlabouredunderstrongsuspicion,andthatprecedentshadbeenconsultedandsolemncouncilhad,anditwasfoundthattoidentifythehagssomesinglepersonmustwatchuponthespotalone;thatnosinglepersonhadthecouragetoperformthetask;andthathehadbeendespatchedexpresstosolicitJohnPodgerstoundertakeitthatverynight,asbeingamanofgreatrenown,whoboreacharmedlife,andwasproofagainstunholyspells。
Johnreceivedthiscommunicationwithmuchcomposure,andsaidinafewwords,thatitwouldhaveaffordedhiminexpressiblepleasuretodotheKingstonpeoplesoslightaservice,ifitwerenotforhisunfortunatepropensitytofallasleep,whichnomanregrettedmorethanhimselfuponthepresentoccasion,butwhichquitesettledthequestion。Nevertheless,hesaid,thereWASagentlemanpresent(andherehelookedveryhardatatallfarrier),who,havingbeenengagedallhislifeinthemanufactureofhorseshoes,mustbequiteinvulnerabletothepowerofwitches,andwho,hehadnodoubt,fromhisownreputationforbraveryandgood—nature,wouldreadilyacceptthecommission。Thefarrierpolitelythankedhimforhisgoodopinion,whichitwouldalwaysbehisstudytodeserve,butaddedthat,withregardtothepresentlittlematter,hecouldn’tthinkofitonanyaccount,ashisdepartingonsuchanerrandwouldcertainlyoccasiontheinstantdeathofhiswife,towhom,astheyallknew,hewastenderlyattached。Now,sofarfromthiscircumstancebeingnotorious,everybodyhadsuspectedthereverse,asthefarrierwasinthehabitofbeatinghisladyrathermorethantenderhusbandsusuallydo;allthemarriedmenpresent,however,applaudedhisresolutionwithgreatvehemence,andoneandalldeclaredthattheywouldstopathomeanddieifneedful(whichhappilyitwasnot)indefenceoftheirlawfulpartners。
Thisburstofenthusiasmover,theybegantolook,asbyoneconsent,towardWillMarks,who,withhiscapmoreononesidethanever,satwatchingtheproceedingswithextraordinaryunconcern。
Hehadneverbeenheardopenlytoexpresshisdisbeliefinwitches,buthadoftencutsuchjokesattheirexpenseasleftittobeinferred;publiclystatingonseveraloccasionsthatheconsideredabroomstickaninconvenientcharger,andoneespeciallyunsuitedtothedignityofthefemalecharacter,andindulginginotherfreeremarksofthesametendency,tothegreatamusementofhiswildcompanions。
AstheylookedatWilltheybegantowhisperandmurmuramongthemselves,andatlengthonemancried,’Whydon’tyouaskWillMarks?’
Asthiswaswhateverybodyhadbeenthinkingof,theyalltookuptheword,andcriedinconcert,’Ah!whydon’tyouaskWill?’
’HEdon’tcare,’saidthefarrier。
’Nothe,’addedanothervoiceinthecrowd。
’Hedon’tbelieveinit,youknow,’sneeredalittlemanwithayellowfaceandatauntingnoseandchin,whichhethrustoutfromunderthearmofalongmanbeforehim。
’Besides,’saidared—facedgentlemanwithagruffvoice,’he’sasingleman。’
’That’sthepoint!’saidthefarrier;andallthemarriedmenmurmured,ah!thatwasit,andtheyonlywishedtheyweresinglethemselves;theywouldshowhimwhatspiritwas,verysoon。
ThemessengerlookedtowardsWillMarksbeseechingly。
’Itwillbeawetnight,friend,andmygraynagistiredafteryesterday’swork—’
Heretherewasageneraltitter。
’But,’resumedWill,lookingabouthimwithasmile,’ifnobodyelseputsinabetterclaimtogo,forthecreditofthetownIamyourman,andIwouldbe,ifIhadtogoafoot。InfiveminutesI
shallbeinthesaddle,unlessIamdeprivinganyworthygentlemanhereofthehonouroftheadventure,whichIwouldn’tdofortheworld。’
Butherearoseadoubledifficulty,fornotonlydidJohnPodgerscombattheresolutionwithallthewordshehad,whichwerenotmany,buttheyoungladycombatedittoowithallthetearsshehad,whichwereverymanyindeed。Will,however,beinginflexible,parriedhisuncle’sobjectionswithajoke,andcoaxedtheyoungladyintoasmileinthreeshortwhispers。Asitwasplainthathesethisminduponit,andwouldgo,JohnPodgersofferedhimafewfirst—ratecharmsoutofhisownpocket,whichhedutifullydeclinedtoaccept;andtheyoungladygavehimakiss,whichhealsoreturned。
’Youseewhatararethingitistobemarried,’saidWill,’andhowcarefulandconsiderateallthesehusbandsare。There’snotamanamongthembuthisheartisleapingtoforestallmeinthisadventure,andyetastrongsenseofdutykeepshimback。Thehusbandsinthisonelittletownareapatterntotheworld,andsomustthewivesbetoo,forthatmatter,ortheycouldneverboasthalftheinfluencetheyhave!’
Waitingfornoreplytothissarcasm,hesnappedhisfingersandwithdrewintothehouse,andthenceintothestable,whilesomebusiedthemselvesinrefreshingthemessenger,andothersinbaitinghissteed。Inlessthanthespecifiedtimehereturnedbyanotherway,withagoodcloakhangingoverhisarm,agoodswordgirdedbyhisside,andleadinghisgoodhorsecaparisonedforthejourney。
’Now,’saidWill,leapingintothesaddleatabound,’upandaway。
Uponyourmettle,friend,andpushon。Goodnight!’
Hekissedhishandtothegirl,noddedtohisdrowsyuncle,wavedhiscaptotherest—andofftheyflewpell—mell,asifallthewitchesinEnglandwereintheirhorses’legs。Theywereoutofsightinaminute。
Themenwhowereleftbehindshooktheirheadsdoubtfully,strokedtheirchins,andshooktheirheadsagain。ThefarriersaidthatcertainlyWillMarkswasagoodhorseman,nobodyshouldeversayhedeniedthat:buthewasrash,veryrash,andtherewasnotellingwhattheendofitmightbe;whatdidhegofor,thatwaswhathewantedtoknow?Hewishedtheyoungfellownoharm,butwhydidhego?Everybodyechoedthesewords,andshooktheirheadsagain,havingdonewhichtheywishedJohnPodgersgoodnight,andstraggledhometobed。
TheKingstonpeoplewereintheirfirstsleepwhenWillMarksandhisconductorrodethroughthetownanduptothedoorofahousewheresundrygravefunctionarieswereassembled,anxiouslyexpectingthearrivaloftherenownedPodgers。Theywerealittledisappointedtofindagayyoungmaninhisplace;buttheyputthebestfaceuponthematter,andgavehimfullinstructionshowhewastoconcealhimselfbehindthegibbet,andwatchandlistentothewitches,andhowatacertaintimehewastoburstforthandcutandslashamongthemvigorously,sothatthesuspectedpartiesmightbefoundbleedingintheirbedsnextday,andthoroughlyconfounded。Theygavehimagreatquantityofwholesomeadvicebesides,and—whichwasmoretothepurposewithWill—agoodsupper。Allthesethingsbeingdone,andmidnightnearlycome,theysalliedforthtoshowhimthespotwherehewastokeephisdrearyvigil。
Thenightwasbythistimedarkandthreatening。Therewasarumblingofdistantthunder,andalowsighingofwindamongthetrees,whichwasverydismal。ThepotentatesofthetownkeptsouncommonlyclosetoWillthattheytroduponhistoes,orstumbledagainsthisankles,ornearlytrippeduphisheelsateverystephetook,and,besidestheseannoyances,theirteethchatteredsowithfear,thatheseemedtobeaccompaniedbyadirgeofcastanets。
Atlasttheymadeahaltattheopeningofalonely,desolatespace,and,pointingtoablackobjectatsomedistance,askedWillifhesawthat,yonder。
’Yes,’hereplied。’Whatthen?’
Informinghimabruptlythatitwasthegibbetwherehewastowatch,theywishedhimgoodnightinanextremelyfriendlymanner,andranbackasfastastheirfeetwouldcarrythem。
Willwalkedboldlytothegibbet,and,glancingupwardswhenhecameunderit,saw—certainlywithsatisfaction—thatitwasempty,andthatnothingdangledfromthetopbutsomeironchains,whichswungmournfullytoandfroastheyweremovedbythebreeze。
Afteracarefulsurveyofeveryquarterhedeterminedtotakehisstationwithhisfacetowardsthetown;bothbecausethatwouldplacehimwithhisbacktothewind,andbecause,ifanytrickorsurprisewereattempted,itwouldprobablycomefromthatdirectioninthefirstinstance。Havingtakentheseprecautions,hewrappedhiscloakabouthimsothatitleftthehandleofhisswordfree,andreadytohishand,andleaningagainstthegallows—treewithhiscapnotquitesomuchononesideasithadbeenbefore,tookuphispositionforthenight。
SECONDCHAPTEROFMR。PICKWICK’STALE
WeleftWillMarksleaningunderthegibbetwithhisfacetowardsthetown,scanningthedistancewithakeeneye,whichsoughttopiercethedarknessandcatchtheearliestglimpseofanypersonorpersonsthatmightapproachtowardshim。Butallwasquiet,and,savethehowlingofthewindasitsweptacrosstheheathingusts,andthecreakingofthechainsthatdangledabovehishead,therewasnosoundtobreakthesullenstillnessofthenight。AfterhalfanhourorsothismonotonybecamemoredisconcertingtoWillthanthemostfuriousuproarwouldhavebeen,andheheartilywishedforsomeoneantagonistwithwhomhemighthaveafairstand—upfight,ifitwereonlytowarmhimself。
Truthtotell,itwasabitterwind,andseemedtoblowtotheveryheartofamanwhoseblood,heatedbutnowwithrapidriding,wasthemoresensitivetothechillingblast。Willwasadaringfellow,andcarednotajotforhardknocksorsharpblades;buthecouldnotpersuadehimselftomoveorwalkabout,havingjustthatvagueexpectationofasuddenassaultwhichmadeitacomfortablethingtohavesomethingathisback,eventhoughthatsomethingwereagallows—tree。Hehadnogreatfaithinthesuperstitionsoftheage,stillsuchofthemasoccurredtohimdidnotservetolightenthetime,ortorenderhissituationthemoreendurable。
Herememberedhowwitchesweresaidtorepairatthatghostlyhourtochurchyardsandgibbets,andsuch—likedismalspots,topluckthebleedingmandrakeorscrapethefleshfromdeadmen’sbones,aschoiceingredientsfortheirspells;how,stealingbynighttolonelyplaces,theyduggraveswiththeirfinger—nails,oranointedthemselvesbeforeridingintheair,withadelicatepomatummadeofthefatofinfantsnewlyboiled。These,andmanyotherfabledpracticesofanolessagreeablenature,andallhavingsomereferencetothecircumstancesinwhichhewasplaced,passedandrepassedinquicksuccessionthroughthemindofWillMarks,andaddingashadowydreadtothatdistrustandwatchfulnesswhichhissituationinspired,renderedit,uponthewhole,sufficientlyuncomfortable。Ashehadforeseen,too,therainbegantodescendheavily,anddrivingbeforethewindinathickmist,obscuredeventhosefewobjectswhichthedarknessofthenighthadbeforeimperfectlyrevealed。
’Look!’shriekedavoice。’GreatHeaven,ithasfallendown,andstandserectasifitlived!’
Thespeakerwasclosebehindhim;thevoicewasalmostathisear。
Willthrewoffhiscloak,drewhissword,anddartingswiftlyround,seizedawomanbythewrist,who,recoilingfromhimwithadreadfulshriek,fellstrugglinguponherknees。Anotherwoman,clad,likeherwhomhehadgrasped,inmourninggarments,stoodrootedtothespotonwhichtheywere,gazinguponhisfacewithwildandglaringeyesthatquiteappalledhim。
’Say,’criedWill,whentheyhadconfrontedeachotherthusforsometime,’whatareye?’
’SaywhatareYOU,’returnedthewoman,’whotroubleeventhisobsceneresting—placeofthedead,andstripthegibbetofitshonouredburden?Whereisthebody?’
Helookedinwonderandaffrightfromthewomanwhoquestionedhimtotheotherwhosearmheclutched。
’Whereisthebody?’repeatedthequestionermorefirmlythanbefore。’Youwearnoliverywhichmarksyouforthehirelingofthegovernment。Youarenofriendtous,orIshouldrecogniseyou,forthefriendsofsuchaswearefewinnumber。Whatareyouthen,andwhereforeareyouhere?’
’Iamnofoetothedistressedandhelpless,’saidWill。’Areyeamongthatnumber?yeshouldbebyyourlooks。’
’Weare!’wastheanswer。
’Isityewhohavebeenwailingandweepinghereundercoverofthenight?’saidWill。
’Itis,’repliedthewomansternly;andpointing,asshespoke,towardshercompanion,’shemournsahusband,andIabrother。
Eventhebloodylawthatwreaksitsvengeanceonthedeaddoesnotmakethatacrime,andifitdid’twouldbealiketouswhoarepastitsfearorfavour。’
Willglancedatthetwofemales,andcouldbarelydiscernthattheonewhomheaddressedwasmuchtheelder,andthattheotherwasyoungandofaslightfigure。Bothweredeadlypale,theirgarmentswetandworn,theirhairdishevelledandstreaminginthewind,themselvesboweddownwithgriefandmisery;theirwholeappearancemostdejected,wretched,andforlorn。Asightsodifferentfromanyhehadexpectedtoencountertouchedhimtothequick,andallideaofanythingbuttheirpitiableconditionvanishedbeforeit。
’Iamarough,bluntyeoman,’saidWill。’WhyIcamehereistoldinaword;youhavebeenoverheardatadistanceinthesilenceofthenight,andIhaveundertakenawatchforhagsorspirits。I
camehereexpectinganadventure,andpreparedtogothroughwithany。IftherebeaughtthatIcandotohelporaidyou,nameit,andonthefaithofamanwhocanbesecretandtrusty,Iwillstandbyyoutothedeath。’
’Howcomesthisgibbettobeempty?’askedtheelderfemale。
’Isweartoyou,’repliedWill,’thatIknowaslittleasyourself。
ButthisIknow,thatwhenIcamehereanhouragoorso,itwasasitisnow;andif,asIgatherfromyourquestion,itwasnotsolastnight,sureIamthatithasbeensecretlydisturbedwithouttheknowledgeofthefolksinyondertown。Bethinkyou,therefore,whetheryouhavenofriendsinleaguewithyouorwithhimonwhomthelawhasdoneitsworst,bywhomthesesadremainshavebeenremovedforburial。’
Thewomenspoketogether,andWillretiredapaceortwowhiletheyconversedapart。Hecouldhearthemsobandmoan,andsawthattheywrungtheirhandsinfruitlessagony。Hecouldmakeoutlittlethattheysaid,butbetweenwhileshegatheredenoughtoassurehimthathissuggestionwasnotverywideofthemark,andthattheynotonlysuspectedbywhomthebodyhadbeenremoved,butalsowhitherithadbeenconveyed。Whentheyhadbeeninconversationalongtime,theyturnedtowardshimoncemore。Thistimetheyoungerfemalespoke。