Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town_第1章_无广告免费看-丁香书院

　　PrefaceI
　　TheHostelryofMr。SmithII
　　TheSpeculationsofJeffersonThorpeIIITheMarineExcursionoftheKnightsofPythiasIVTheMinistrationsoftheRev。Mr。DroneVTheWhirlwindCampaigninMariposaVITheBeaconontheHillVIITheExtraordinaryEntanglementofMr。PupkinVIIITheFore—ordainedAttachmentofZenaPepperleighandPeterPupkinIXTheMariposaBankMysteryXTheGreatElectioninMissinabaCountyXITheCandidacyofMr。SmithXIIL’Envoi。TheTraintoMariposaPrefaceIknownowayinwhichawritermaymorefittinglyintroducehisworktothepublicthanbygivingabriefaccountofwhoandwhatheis。
　　Bythismeanssomeoftheblameforwhathehasdoneisveryproperlyshiftedtotheextenuatingcircumstancesofhislife。
　　IwasbornatSwanmoor，Hants，England，onDecember30，1869。Iamnotawarethattherewasanyparticularconjunctionoftheplanetsatthetime，butshouldthinkitextremelylikely。MyparentsmigratedtoCanadain1876，andIdecidedtogowiththem。MyfathertookupafarmnearLakeSimcoe，inOntario。ThiswasduringthehardtimesofCanadianfarming，andmyfatherwasjustablebygreatdiligencetopaythehiredmenand，inyearsofplenty，toraiseenoughgraintohaveseedforthenextyear’scropwithoutbuyingany。BythisprocessmybrothersandIwereinevitablydrivenofftheland，andhavebecomeprofessors，businessmen，andengineers，insteadofbeingabletogrowupasfarmlabourers。YetIsawenoughoffarmingtospeakexuberantlyinpoliticaladdressesofthejoyofearlyrisingandthedeepsleep，bothofbodyandintellect，thatisinducedbyhonestmanualtoil。
　　IwaseducatedatUpperCanadaCollege，Toronto，ofwhichIwasheadboyin1887。FromthereIwenttotheUniversityofToronto，whereI
　　graduatedin1891。AttheUniversityIspentmyentiretimeintheacquisitionoflanguages，living，dead，andhalf—dead，andknewnothingoftheoutsideworld。InthisdiligentpursuitofwordsI
　　spentaboutsixteenhoursofeachday。VerysoonaftergraduationI
　　hadforgottenthelanguages，andfoundmyselfintellectuallybankrupt。InotherwordsIwaswhatiscalledadistinguishedgraduate，and，assuch，ItooktoschoolteachingastheonlytradeI
　　couldfindthatneedneitherexperiencenorintellect。Ispentmytimefrom1891to1899onthestaffofUpperCanadaCollege，anexperiencewhichhasleftmewithaprofoundsympathyforthemanygiftedandbrilliantmenwhoarecompelledtospendtheirlivesinthemostdreary，themostthankless，andtheworstpaidprofessionintheworld。Ihavenotedthatofmypupils，thosewhoseemedthelaziestandtheleastenamouredofbooksarenowrisingtoeminenceatthebar，inbusiness，andinpubliclife;thereallypromisingboyswhotookalltheprizesarenowablewithdifficultytoearnthewagesofaclerkinasummerhoteloradeckhandonacanalboat。
　　In1899Igaveupschoolteachingindisgust，borrowingenoughmoneytoliveuponforafewmonths，andwenttotheUniversityofChicagotostudyeconomicsandpoliticalscience。IwassoonappointedtoaFellowshipinpoliticaleconomy，andbymeansofthisandsometemporaryemploymentbyMcGillUniversity，IsurviveduntilItookthedegreeofDoctorofPhilosophyin1903。Themeaningofthisdegreeisthattherecipientofinstructionisexaminedforthelasttimeinhislife，andispronouncedcompletelyfull。Afterthis，nonewideascanbeimpartedtohim。
　　Fromthistime，andsincemymarriage，whichhadoccurredatthisperiod，IhavebelongedtothestaffofMcGillUniversity，firstaslecturerinPoliticalScience，andlaterasheadofthedepartmentofEconomicsandPoliticalScience。Asthispositionisoneoftheprizesofmyprofession，Iamabletoregardmyselfassingularlyfortunate。Theemolumentissohighastoplacemedistinctlyabovethepolicemen，postmen，street—carconductors，andothersalariedofficialsoftheneighbourhood，whileIamabletomixwiththepoorerofthebusinessmenofthecityontermsofsomethinglikeequality。Inpointofleisure，Ienjoymoreinthefourcornersofasingleyearthanabusinessmanknowsinhiswholelife。Ithushavewhatthebusinessmancanneverenjoy，anabilitytothink，and，whatisstillbetter，tostopthinkingaltogetherformonthsatatime。
　　Ihavewrittenanumberofthingsinconnectionwithmycollegelife——abookonPoliticalScience，andmanyessays，magazinearticles，andsoon。IbelongtothePoliticalScienceAssociationofAmerica，totheRoyalColonialInstitute，andtotheChurchofEngland。Thesethings，surely，areaproofofrespectability。Ihavehadsomesmallconnectionwithpoliticsandpubliclife。AfewyearsagoIwentallroundtheBritishEmpiredeliveringaddressesonImperialorganization。WhenIstatethattheselectureswerefollowedalmostimmediatelybytheUnionofSouthAfrica，theBananaRiotsinTrinidad，andtheTurco—Italianwar，Ithinkthereadercanformsomeideaoftheirimportance。InCanadaIbelongtotheConservativeparty，butasyetIhavefailedentirelyinCanadianpolitics，neverhavingreceivedacontracttobuildabridge，ormakeawharf，nortoconstructeventhesmallestsectionoftheTranscontinentalRailway。
　　This，however，isaformofnationalingratitudetowhichonebecomesaccustomedinthisDominion。
　　Apartfrommycollegework，Ihavewrittentwobooks，onecalled"LiteraryLapses"andtheother"NonsenseNovels。"EachoftheseispublishedbyJohnLane（LondonandNewYork），andeitherofthemcanbeobtained，absurdthoughitsounds，forthemeresumofthreeshillingsandsixpence。Anyreaderofthispreface，forexample，ridiculousthoughitappears，couldwalkintoabookstoreandbuybothofthesebooksforsevenshillings。Yettheseworksareofsohumorousacharacterthatformanyyearsitwasfoundimpossibletoprintthem。Thecompositorsfellbackfromtheirtasksuffocatedwithlaughterandgaspingforair。Nothingbuttheinterventionofthelinotypemachine——orrather，ofthekindofmenwhooperateit——madeitpossibletoprintthesebooks。Evennowpeoplehavetobeverycarefulincirculatingthem，andthebooksshouldneverbeputintothehandsofpersonsnotinrobusthealth。
　　ManyofmyfriendsareundertheimpressionthatIwritethesehumorousnothingsinidlemomentswhentheweariedbrainisunabletoperformtheseriouslaboursoftheeconomist。Myownexperienceisexactlytheotherway。Thewritingofsolid，instructivestufffortifiedbyfactsandfiguresiseasyenough。Thereisnotroubleinwritingascientifictreatiseonthefolk—loreofCentralChina，orastatisticalenquiryintothedecliningpopulationofPrinceEdwardIsland。Buttowritesomethingoutofone’sownmind，worthreadingforitsownsake，isanarduouscontrivanceonlytobeachievedinfortunatemoments，fewandfarbetween。Personally，Iwouldsoonerhavewritten"AliceinWonderland"thanthewholeEncyclopaediaBritannica。
　　InregardtothepresentworkImustdisclaimatonceallintentionsoftryingtodoanythingsoridiculouslyeasyaswritingaboutarealplaceandrealpeople。Mariposaisnotarealtown。Onthecontrary，itisaboutseventyoreightyofthem。YoumayfindthemallthewayfromLakeSuperiortothesea，withthesamesquarestreetsandthesamemapletreesandthesamechurchesandhotels，andeverywherethesunshineofthelandofhope。
　　Similarly，theReverendMr。Droneisnotonepersonbutabouteightorten。TomakehimIclappedthegaitersofoneecclesiasticroundthelegsofanother，addedthesermonsofathirdandthecharacterofafourth，andsolethimstartonhiswayinthebooktopickupsuchindividualattributesashemightfindforhimself。MullinsandBagshawandJudgePepperleighandtherestare，itistrue，personalfriendsofmine。ButIhaveknowntheminsuchavarietyofforms，withsuchalternationsoftallandshort，darkandfair，that，individually，Ishouldhavemuchadotoknowthem。Mr。PupkinisfoundwheneveraCanadianbankopensabranchinacountytownandneedsateller。AsforMr。Smith，withhistwohundredandeightypounds，hishoarsevoice，hisloudchecksuit，hisdiamonds，theroughnessofhisaddressandthegoodnessofhisheart，——allofthisisknownbyeverybodytobeanecessaryanduniversaladjunctofthehotelbusiness。
　　Theinspirationofthebook，——alandofhopeandsunshinewherelittletownsspreadtheirsquarestreetsandtheirtrimmapletreesbesideplacidlakesalmostwithinechooftheprimevalforest，——islargeenough。Ifitfailsinitsportrayalofthescenesandthecountrythatitdepictsthefaultliesratherwithanartthatisdeficientthaninanaffectionthatiswanting。
　　StephenLeacock。McGillUniversity，June，1912。
　　ONE
　　TheHostelryofMr。SmithIdon’tknowwhetheryouknowMariposa。Ifnot，itisofnoconsequence，forifyouknowCanadaatall，youareprobablywellacquaintedwithadozentownsjustlikeit。
　　Thereitliesinthesunlight，slopingupfromthelittlelakethatspreadsoutatthefootofthehillsideonwhichthetownisbuilt。
　　Thereisawharfbesidethelake，andlyingalongsideofitasteamerthatistiedtothewharfwithtworopesofaboutthesamesizeastheyuseontheLusitania。Thesteamergoesnowhereinparticular，forthelakeislandlockedandthereisnonavigationfortheMariposaBelleexceptto"runtrips"onthefirstofJulyandtheQueen’sBirthday，andtotakeexcursionsoftheKnightsofPythiasandtheSonsofTemperancetoandfromtheLocalOptionTownships。
　　InpointofgeographythelakeiscalledLakeWissanottiandtheriverrunningoutofittheOssawippi，justasthemainstreetofMariposaiscalledMissinabaStreetandthecountyMissinabaCounty。
　　Butthesenamesdonotreallymatter。Nobodyusesthem。Peoplesimplyspeakofthe"lake"andthe"river"andthe"mainstreet，"muchinthesamewayastheyalwayscalltheContinentalHotel，"PeteRobinson’s"andthePharmaceuticalHall，"Eliot’sDrugStore。"ButI
　　supposethisisjustthesameineveryoneelse’stownasinmine，soIneedlaynostressonit。
　　Thetown，Isay，hasonebroadstreetthatrunsupfromthelake，commonlycalledtheMainStreet。Thereisnodoubtaboutitswidth。
　　WhenMariposawaslaidouttherewasnoneofthatshortsightednesswhichisseeninthecrampeddimensionsofWallStreetandPiccadilly。MissinabaStreetissowidethatifyouweretorollJeffThorpe’sbarbershopoveronitsfaceitwouldn’treachhalfwayacross。UpanddowntheMainStreetaretelegraphpolesofcedarofcolossalthickness，standingatavarietyofanglesandcarryingrathermorewiresthanarecommonlyseenatatransatlanticcablestation。
　　OntheMainStreetitselfareanumberofbuildingsofextraordinaryimportance，——Smith’sHotelandtheContinentalandtheMariposaHouse，andthetwobanks（theCommercialandtheExchange），tosaynothingofMcCarthy’sBlock（erectedin1878），andGlover’sHardwareStorewiththeOddfellows’Hallaboveit。Thenonthe"cross"streetthatintersectsMissinabaStreetatthemaincornerthereisthePostOfficeandtheFireHallandtheYoungMen’sChristianAssociationandtheofficeoftheMariposaNewspacket，——infact，totheeyeofdiscernmentaperfectjostleofpublicinstitutionscomparableonlytoThreadneedleStreetorLowerBroadway。Onallthesidestreetstherearemapletreesandbroadsidewalks，trimgardenswithuprightcallalilies，houseswithverandahs，whicharehereandtherebeingreplacedbyresidenceswithpiazzas。
　　TothecarelesseyethesceneontheMainStreetofasummerafternoonisoneofdeepandunbrokenpeace。Theemptystreetsleepsinthesunshine。ThereisahorseandbuggytiedtothehitchingpostinfrontofGlover’shardwarestore。Thereis，usuallyandcommonly，theburlyfigureofMr。Smith，proprietorofSmith’sHotel，standinginhischequeredwaistcoatonthestepsofhishostelry，andperhaps，furtherupthestreet，LawyerMacartneygoingforhisafternoonmail，ortheRev。Mr。Drone，theRuralDeanoftheChurchofEnglandChurch，goinghometogethisfishingrodafteramothers’auxiliarymeeting。
　　Butthisquietismereappearance。Inreality，andtothosewhoknowit，theplaceisaperfecthiveofactivity。Why，atNetley’sbutchershop（establishedin1882）therearenolessthanfourmenworkingonthesausagemachinesinthebasement;attheNewspacketofficethereareasmanymorejob—printing;thereisalongdistancetelephonewithfourdistractinggirlsonhighstoolswearingsteelcapsandtalkingincessantly;intheofficesinMcCarthy’sblockaredentistsandlawyerswiththeircoatsoff，readytoworkatanymoment;andfromthebigplaningfactorydownbesidethelakewheretherailroadsidingis，youmayhearallthroughthehoursofthesummerafternoonthelong—drawnmusicoftherunningsaw。
　　Busy——well，Ishouldthinkso！AskanyofitsinhabitantsifMariposaisn’tabusy，hustling，thrivingtown。AskMullins，themanageroftheExchangeBank，whocomeshustlingovertohisofficefromtheMariposaHouseeverydayat10。30andhasscarcelytimeallmorningtogooutandtakeadrinkwiththemanageroftheCommercial;orask——well，forthematterofthat，askanyofthemiftheyeverknewamorerushinggo—a—headtownthanMariposa。
　　OfcourseifyoucometotheplacefreshfromNewYork，youaredeceived。Yourstandardofvisionisallastray，Youdothinktheplaceisquiet。YoudoimaginethatMr。Smithisasleepmerelybecausehecloseshiseyesashestands。ButliveinMariposaforsixmonthsorayearandthenyouwillbegintounderstanditbetter;thebuildingsgethigherandhigher;theMariposaHousegrowsmoreandmoreluxurious;McCarthy’sblocktowerstothesky;the’busesroarandhumtothestation;thetrainsshriek;thetrafficmultiplies;
　　thepeoplemovefasterandfaster;adensecrowdswirlstoandfrointhepost—officeandthefiveandtencentstore——andamusements！
　　well，now！lacrosse，baseball，excursions，dances，theFireman’sBalleverywinterandtheCatholicpicniceverysummer;andmusic——thetownbandintheparkeveryWednesdayevening，andtheOddfellows’
　　brassbandonthestreeteveryotherFriday;theMariposaQuartette，theSalvationArmy——why，afterafewmonths’residenceyoubegintorealizethattheplaceisameremadroundofgaiety。
　　Inpointofpopulation，ifonemustcomedowntofigures，theCanadiancensusputsthenumberseverytimeatsomethingroundfivethousand。ButitisverygenerallyunderstoodinMariposathatthecensusislargelytheoutcomeofmaliciousjealousy。ItisusualthatafterthecensustheeditoroftheMariposaNewspacketmakesacarefulreestimate（basedonthedataofrelativenon—paymentofsubscriptions），andbringsthepopulationupto6，000。AfterthattheMariposaTimes—Heraldmakesanestimatethatrunsthefiguresupto6，500。ThenMr。Gingham，theundertaker，whocollectsthevitalstatisticsfortheprovincialgovernment，makesanestimatefromthenumberofwhathecallsthe"demised"ascomparedwiththelessinterestingpersonswhoarestillalive，andbringsthepopulationto7，000。Afterthatsomebodyelseworksitoutthatit’s7，500;thenthemanbehindthebaroftheMariposaHouseofferstobetthewholeroomthatthereare9，000peopleinMariposa。Thatsettlesit，andthepopulationiswellonthewayto10，000，whendownswoopsthefederalcensustakeronhisnextroundandthetownhastobeginalloveragain。
　　Still，itisathrivingtownandthereisnodoubtofit。Eventhetranscontinentalrailways，asanytownsmanwilltellyou，runthroughMariposa。Itistruethatthetrainsmostlygothroughatnightanddon’tstop。ButinthewakefulsilenceofthesummernightyoumayhearthelongwhistleofthethroughtrainforthewestasittearsthroughMariposa，rattlingovertheswitchesandpastthesemaphoresandendinginalong，sullenroarasittakesthetrestlebridgeovertheOssawippi。Or，betterstill，onawintereveningabouteighto’clockyouwillseethelongrowofthePullmansanddinersofthenightexpressgoingnorthtotheminingcountry，thewindowsflashingwithbrilliantlight，andwithinthemavistaofcutglassandsnow—whitetablelinen，smilingnegroesandmillionaireswithnapkinsattheirchinswhirlingpastinthedrivingsnowstorm。
　　IcantellyouthepeopleofMariposaareproudofthetrains，eveniftheydon’tstop！ThejoyofbeingonthemainlineliftstheMariposapeopleabovetheleveloftheirneighboursinsuchplacesasTecumsehandNicholsCornersintothecosmopolitanatmosphereofthroughtrafficandthelargerlife。Ofcourse，theyhavetheirowntrain，too——theMariposaLocal，madeuprightthereinthestationyard，andrunningsouthtothecityahundredmilesaway。That，ofcourse，isarealtrain，withaboxstoveonendinthepassengercar，fedwithcordwoodupsidedown，andwithseventeenflatcarsofpinelumbersetbetweenthepassengercarandthelocomotivesoastogivethetrainitsfullimpactwhenshunting。
　　OutsideofMariposatherearefarmsthatbeginwellbutgetthinnerandmeanerasyougoon，andendsoonerorlaterinbushandswampandtherockofthenorthcountry。Andbeyondthatagain，asthebackgroundofitall，thoughit’sfaraway，youaresomehowawareofthegreatpinewoodsofthelumbercountryreachingendlesslyintothenorth。
　　Notthatthelittletownisalwaysgayoralwaysbrightinthesunshine。Thereneverwassuchaplaceforchangingitscharacterwiththeseason。Darkenoughanddullitseemsofawinternight，thewoodensidewalkscreakingwiththefrost，andthelightsburningdimbehindtheshopwindows。Inoldentimesthelightswerecoaloillamps;now，ofcourse，theyare，oraresupposedtobe，electricity，broughtfromthepowerhouseonthelowerOssawippinineteenmilesaway。But，somehow，thoughitstartsoffaselectricityfromtheOssawippirapids，bythetimeitgetstoMariposaandfiltersintothelittlebulbsbehindthefrostywindowsoftheshops，ithasturnedintocoaloilagain，asyellowandblearedasever。
　　Afterthewinter，thesnowmeltsandtheicegoesoutofthelake，thesunshineshighandtheshanty—mencomedownfromthelumberwoodsandlierounddrunkonthesidewalkoutsideofSmith’sHotel——andthat’sspringtime。Mariposaisthenafierce，dangerouslumbertown，calculatedtoterrorizethesoulofanewcomerwhodoesnotunderstandthatthisalsoisonlyanappearanceandthatpresentlytherough—lookingshanty—menwillchangetheirclothesandturnbackagainintofarmers。
　　ThenthesunshineswarmerandthemapletreescomeoutandLawyerMacartneyputsonhistennistrousers，andthat’ssummertime。Thelittletownchangestoasortofsummerresort。Therearevisitorsupfromthecity。Everyoneofthesevencottagesalongthelakeisfull。TheMariposaBellechurnsthewatersoftheWissanottiintofoamasshesailsoutfromthewharf，inacloudofflags，thebandplayingandthedaughtersandsistersoftheKnightsofPythiasdancinggailyonthedeck。
　　Thatchangestoo。Thedaysshorten。Thevisitorsdisappear。Thegoldenrodbesidethemeadowdroopsandwithersonitsstem。Themaplesblazeingloryanddie。Theeveningclosesdarkandchill，andinthegloomofthemaincornerofMariposatheSalvationArmyaroundanaphthalampliftuptheconfessionoftheirsins——andthatisautumn。Thustheyearrunsitsround，movingandchanginginMariposa，muchasitdoesinotherplaces。
　　If，then，youfeelthatyouknowthetownwellenoughtobeadmittedintotheinnerlifeandmovementofit，walkdownthisJuneafternoonhalfwaydowntheMainStreet——or，ifyoulike，halfwayupfromthewharf——towhereMr。Smithisstandingatthedoorofhishostelry。
　　Youwillfeelasyoudrawnearthatitisnoordinarymanthatyouapproach。ItisnotalonethehugebulkofMr。Smith（twohundredandeightypoundsastestedonNetley’sscales）。Itisnotmerelyhiscostume，thoughthechequeredwaistcoatofdarkbluewithafloweredpatternforms，withhisshepherd’splaidtrousers，hisgreyspatsandpatent—leatherboots，acolourschemeofnomeanorder。NorisitmerelyMr。Smith’sfinelymottledface。Theface，nodoubt，isanotableone，——solemn，inexpressible，unreadable，thefaceoftheheaven—bornhotelkeeper。Itismorethanthat。Itisthestrangedominatingpersonalityofthemanthatsomehowholdsyoucaptive。I
　　knownothinginhistorytocomparewiththepositionofMr。Smithamongthosewhodrinkoverhisbar，except，thoughinalesserdegree，therelationoftheEmperorNapoleontotheImperialGuard。
　　WhenyoumeetMr。Smithfirstyouthinkhelookslikeanover—dressedpirate。Thenyoubegintothinkhimacharacter。Youwonderathisenormousbulk。ThentheutterhopelessnessofknowingwhatSmithisthinkingbymerelylookingathisfeaturesgetsonyourmindandmakestheMonaLisaseemanopenbookandtheordinaryhumancountenanceassuperficialasapuddleinthesunlight。AfteryouhavehadadrinkinMr。Smith’sbar，andhehascalledyoubyyourChristianname，yourealizethatyouaredealingwithoneofthegreatestmindsinthehotelbusiness。
　　Take，forinstance，thebigsignthatsticksoutintothestreetaboveMr。Smith’sheadashestands。Whatisonit？"JOS。SMITH，PROP。"Nothingmore，andyetthethingwasaflashofgenius。OthermenwhohadhadthehotelbeforeMr。SmithhadcalleditbysuchfeeblenamesastheRoyalHotelandtheQueen’sandtheAlexandria。
　　Everyoneofthemfailed。WhenMr。Smithtookoverthehotelhesimplyputupthesignwith"JOS。SMITH，PROP。，"andthenstoodunderneathinthesunshineasalivingproofthatamanwhoweighsnearlythreehundredpoundsisthenaturalkingofthehotelbusiness。
　　Butonthisparticularafternoon，inspiteofthesunshineanddeeppeace，therewassomethingasneartoprofoundconcernandanxietyasthefeaturesofMr。Smithwereeverknowntoexpress。
　　Themomentwasindeedananxiousone。Mr。Smithwasawaitingatelegramfromhislegaladviserwhohadthatdayjourneyedtothecountytowntorepresenttheproprietor’sinterestbeforetheassembledLicenseCommissioners。Ifyouknowanythingofthehotelbusinessatall，youwillunderstandthatasbesidethedecisionsoftheLicenseCommissionersofMissinabaCounty，theopinionsoftheLordsofthePrivyCouncilaremeretrifles。
　　Thematterinquestionwasverygrave。TheMariposaCourthadjustfinedMr。Smithforthesecondtimeforsellingliquorsafterhours。
　　TheCommissioners，therefore，wereentitledtocancelthelicense。
　　Mr。Smithknewhisfaultandacknowledgedit。Hehadbrokenthelaw。
　　Howhehadcometodoso，itpassedhisimaginationtorecall。Crimealwaysseemsimpossibleinretrospect。Bywhatsheermadnessofthemomentcouldhehaveshutupthebaronthenightinquestion，andshutJudgePepperleigh，thedistrictjudgeinMissinabaCounty，outsideofit？Themoresoinasmuchastheclosingupofthebarundertherigidlicenselawoftheprovincewasamatterthattheproprietornevertrustedtoanyhandsbuthisown。Punctuallyeverynightat11o’clockMr。Smithstrolledfromthedeskofthe"rotunda"tothedoorofthebar。Ifitseemedproperlyfullofpeopleandallwasbrightandcheerful，thenheclosedit。Ifnot，hekeptitopenafewminuteslongertillhehadenoughpeopleinsidetowarrantclosing。Butnever，neverunlesshewasassuredthatPepperleigh，thejudgeofthecourt，andMacartney，theprosecutingattorney，werebothsafelyinthebar，orthebarparlour，didtheproprietorventuretocloseup。YetonthisfatalnightPepperleighandMacartneyhadbeenshutout——actuallyleftonthestreetwithoutadrink，andcompelledtohammerandbeatatthestreetdoorofthebartogainadmittance。
　　Thiswasthekindofthingnottobetolerated。Eitherahotelmustberundecentlyorquit。AninformationwaslaidnextdayandMr。
　　Smithconvictedinfourminutes，——hislawyerspracticallyrefusingtoplead。TheMariposacourt，whenthepresidingjudgewascoldsober，andithadtheforceofpublicopinionbehindit，wasaterribleengineofretributivejustice。
　　SonowonderthatMr。Smithawaitedwithanxietythemessageofhislegaladviser。
　　Helookedalternatelyupthestreetanddownitagain，hauledouthiswatchfromthedepthsofhisembroideredpocket，andexaminedthehourhandandtheminutehandandthesecondhandwithfrowningscrutiny。
　　Thenwearily，andasonemindfulthatahotelmanisevertheservantofthepublic，heturnedbackintothehotel。
　　"Billy，"hesaidtothedeskclerk，"ifawirecomesbringitintothebarparlour。"
　　ThevoiceofMr。SmithisofadeepgutturalsuchasPlanconorEdouarddeReskemighthaveobtainedhadtheyhadtheadvantagesofthehotelbusiness。Andwiththat，Mr。Smith，aswashiscustominoffmoments，joinedhisguestsinthebackroom。Hisappearance，totheuntrainedeye，wasmerelythatofanextremelystouthotelkeeperwalkingfromtherotundatothebackbar。Inreality，Mr。Smithwasontheeveofoneofthemostbrilliantanddaringstrokesevereffectedinthehistoryoflicensedliquor。WhenIsaythatitwasoutoftheagitationofthissituationthatSmith’sLadies’andGent’sCafeoriginated，anybodywhoknowsMariposawillunderstandthemagnitudeofthemoment。
　　Mr。Smith，then，movedslowlyfromthedoorwayofthehotelthroughthe"rotunda，"ormoresimplythefrontroomwiththedeskandthecigarcaseinit，andsotothebarandthencetothelittleroomorbackbarbehindit。Inthisroom，asIhavesaid，thebrightestmindsofMariposamightcommonlybefoundinthequieterpartofasummerafternoon。
　　To—daytherewasagroupoffourwholookedupasMr。Smithentered，somewhatsympathetically，andevidentlyawareoftheperplexitiesofthemoment。
　　HenryMullinsandGeorgeDuff，thetwobankmanagers，werebothpresent。Mullinsisarathershort，ratherround，smooth—shavenmanoflessthanforty，wearingoneofthoseroundbankingsuitsofpepperandsalt，witharoundbankinghatofhardstraw，andwiththekindofgoldtie—pinandheavywatch—chainandsealsnecessarytoinspireconfidenceinmattersofforeignexchange。Duffisjustasroundandjustasshort，andequallysmoothlyshaven，whilehissealsandstrawhatarecalculatedtoprovethattheCommercialisjustassoundabankastheExchange。Fromthetechnicalpointofviewofthebankingbusiness，neitherofthemhadanyobjectiontobeinginSmith’sHotelortotakingadrinkaslongastheotherwaspresent。
　　This，ofcourse，wasoneofthecardinalprinciplesofMariposabanking。
　　ThentherewasMr。Diston，thehighschoolteacher，commonlyknownasthe"onewhodrank。"Noneoftheotherteacherseverenteredahotelunlessaccompaniedbyaladyorprotectedbyachild。ButasMr。
　　DistonwasknowntodrinkbeeronoccasionsandtogoinandoutoftheMariposaHouseandSmith’sHotel，hewaslookeduponasamanwhoselifewasamerewreck。WhenevertheSchoolBoardraisedthesalariesoftheotherteachers，fiftyorsixtydollarsperannumatonelift，itwaswellunderstoodthatpublicmoralitywouldn’tpermitofanincreaseforMr。Diston。
　　Stillmorenoticeable，perhaps，wasthequiet，sallowlookingmandressedinblack，withblackglovesandwithblacksilkhatheavilycrapedandplacedhollow—side—uponachair。ThiswasMr。GolgothaGingham，theundertakerofMariposa，andhisdresswasduetothefactthathehadjustcomefromwhathecalledan"interment。"Mr。
　　Ginghamhadthetruespiritofhisprofession，andsuchwordsas"funeral"or"coffin"or"hearse"neverpassedhislips。Hespokealwaysof"interments，"of"caskets，"and"coaches，"usingtermsthatwerecalculatedrathertobringoutthemajestyandsublimityofdeaththantoparadeitshorrors。
　　TobepresentatthehotelwasinaccordwithMr。Gingham’sgeneralconceptionofhisbusiness。NomanhadevergraspedthetrueprinciplesofundertakingmorethoroughlythanMr。Gingham。Ihaveoftenheardhimexplainthattoassociatewiththeliving，uninterestingthoughtheyappear，istheonlywaytosecurethecustomofthedead。
　　"Gettoknowpeoplereallywellwhiletheyarealive，"saidMr。
　　Gingham;"befriendswiththem，closefriendsandthenwhentheydieyoudon’tneedtoworry。You’llgettheordereverytime。"
　　So，naturally，asthemomentwasoneofsympathy，itwasMr。
　　Ginghamwhospokefirst。
　　"What’llyoudo，Josh，"hesaid，"iftheCommissionersgoagainstyou？"
　　"Boys，"saidMr。Smith，"Idon’trightlyknow。IfIhavetoquit，thenextmoveistothecity。ButIdon’treckonthatIwillhavetoquit。I’vegotanideethatIthink’sgoodeverytime。"
　　"Couldyourunahotelinthecity？"askedMullins。
　　"Icould，"saidMr。Smith。"I’lltellyou。There’sbigthingsdoin’
　　inthehotelbusinessrightnow，bigchancesifyougointoitright。
　　Hotelsinthecityisbranchingout。Why，youtakethedining—roomsideofit，"continuedMr。Smith，lookingroundatthegroup，"there’sthousandsinit。Theoldplan’sallgone。Folkswon’teatnowinanordinarydining—roomwithahighceilingandwindows。Youhavetoget’emdownundergroundinaroomwithnowindowsandlotsofsawdustroundandwaitersthatcan’tspeakEnglish。IseenthemplaceslasttimeIwasinthecity。Theycall’emRats’Coolers。AndforlightmealstheywantaCaff，arealFrenchCaff，andforfolksthatcomeinlateanotherplacethattheycallaGirlRoomthatdon’tshutupatall。IfIgotothecitythat’sthekindofplaceImeantorun。What’syours，Gol？It’sonthehouse？"
　　AnditwasjustatthemomentwhenMr。SmithsaidthisthatBilly，thedesk—clerk，enteredtheroomwiththetelegraminhishand。
　　Butstop——itisimpossibleforyoutounderstandtheanxietywithwhichMr。SmithandhisassociatesawaitedthenewsfromtheCommissioners，withoutfirstrealizingtheastoundingprogressofMr。
　　Smithinthethreepastyears，andthepinnacleofpubliceminencetowhichhehadattained。
　　Mr。SmithhadcomedownfromthelumbercountryoftheSpanishRiver，wherethedivideistowardtheHudsonBay，——"backnorth"astheycalleditinMariposa。
　　Hehadbeen，itwassaid，acookinthelumbershanties。TothisdayMr。Smithcanfryaneggonbothsideswithalightnessoftouchthatisthedespairofhisown"help。"
　　Afterthat，hehadrunariverdriver’sboarding—house。
　　Afterthat，hehadtakenafoodcontractforagangofrailroadnavviesonthetranscontinental。
　　Afterthat，ofcourse，thewholeworldwasopentohim。
　　HecamedowntoMariposaandboughtoutthe"inside"ofwhathadbeentheRoyalHotel。
　　Thosewhoareeducatedunderstandthatbythe"inside"ofahotelismeanteverythingexceptthefourouterwallsofit——thefittings，thefurniture，thebar，Billythedesk—clerk，thethreedining—roomgirls，andaboveallthelicensegrantedbyKingEdwardVII。，andratifiedfurtherbyKingGeorge，forthesaleofintoxicatingliquors。
　　TillthentheRoyalhadbeenamerenothing。As"Smith’sHotel"itbrokeintoablazeofeffulgence。
　　Fromthefirst，Mr。Smith，asaproprietor，wasawild，rapturoussuccess。
　　Hehadallthequalifications。
　　Heweighedtwohundredandeightypounds。
　　Hecouldhaultwodrunkenmenoutofthebareachbythescruffoftheneckwithoutthefaintestangerorexcitement。
　　Hecarriedmoneyenoughinhistrouserspocketstostartabank，andspentitonanything，betitonanything，andgaveitawayinhandfuls。
　　Hewasneverdrunk，and，asapointofchivalrytohiscustomers，neverquitesober。Anybodywasfreeofthehotelwhocaredtocomein。Anybodywhodidn’tlikeitcouldgoout。Drinksofallkindscostfivecents，orsixforaquarter。Mealsandbedswerepracticallyfree。Anypersonsfoolishenoughtogotothedeskandpayforthem，Mr。Smithchargedaccordingtotheexpressionoftheirfaces。
　　Atfirsttheloafersandtheshantymensettleddownontheplaceinashower。Butthatwasnotthe"trade"thatMr。Smithwanted。Heknewhowtogetridofthem。Anarmyofcharwomen，turnedintothehotel，scrubbeditfromtoptobottom。Avacuumcleaner，thefirstseeninMariposa，hissedandscreamedinthecorridors。Fortybrassbedswereimportedfromthecity，not，ofcourse，forthegueststosleepin，buttokeepthemout。Abar—tenderwithastarchedcoatandwickersleeveswasputbehindthebar。
　　Theloaferswereputoutofbusiness。Theplacehadbecometoo"hightoned"forthem。
　　Togetthehighclasstrade，Mr。Smithsethimselftodressthepart。
　　Heworewidecutcoatsoffilmyserge，lightasgossamer;chequeredwaistcoatswithapatternforeverydayintheweek;fedorahatslightasautumnleaves;four—in—handtiesofsaffronandmyrtlegreenwithadiamondpinthesizeofahazelnut。OnhisfingerstherewereasmanygemsaswouldgraceanativeprinceofIndia;acrosshiswaistcoatlayagoldwatch—chaininhugesquarelinksandinhispocketagoldwatchthatweighedapoundandahalfandmarkedminutes，secondsandquarterseconds。JusttolookatJoshSmith’swatchbroughtatleasttenmentothebareveryevening。
　　EverymorningMr。SmithwasshavedbyJeffersonThorpe，acrosstheway。Allthatartcoulddo，allthatFloridawatercouldeffect，waslavishedonhisperson。
　　Mr。Smithbecamealocalcharacter。Mariposawasathisfeet。Allthereputablebusiness—mendrankatMr。Smith’sbar，andinthelittleparlourbehindityoumightfindatanytimeagroupofthebrightestintellectsinthetown。
　　Notbutwhattherewasoppositionatfirst。Theclergy，forexample，whoacceptedtheMariposaHouseandtheContinentalasanecessaryandusefulevil，lookedaskanceattheblazinglightsandthesurgingcrowdofMr。Smith’ssaloon。Theypreachedagainsthim。WhentheRev。
　　DeanDroneledoffwithasermononthetext"LordbemercifulevenuntothispublicanMatthewSix，"itwasgenerallyunderstoodasaninvitationtostrikeMr。Smithdead。InthesamewaythesermonatthePresbyterianchurchtheweekafterwasonthetext"LowhatnowdoethAbiraminthelandofMelchisideckKingsEightandNine？"anditwasperfectlyplainthatwhatwasmeantwas，"Lo，whatisJoshSmithdoinginMariposa？"
　　Butthisoppositionhadbeencounteredbyawideandsagaciousphilanthropy。IthinkMr。Smithfirstgottheideaofthatonthenightwhenthesteammerry—go—roundcametoMariposa。Justbelowthehostelry，onanemptylot，itwhirledandwhistled，steamingforthitstunesonthesummereveningwhilethechildrencrowdedrounditinhundreds。DownthestreetstrolledMr。Smith，wearingasoftfedoratoindicatethatitwasevening。
　　"Whatd’youchargeforaride，boss？"saidMr。Smith。
　　"Twoforanickel，"saidtheman。
　　"Takethat，"saidMr。Smith，handingoutaten—dollarbillfromarollofmoney，"andridethelittlefolksfreeallevening。"
　　Thatnightthemerry—go—roundwhirledmadlytillaftermidnight，freightedtocapacitywithMariposachildren，whileupinSmith’sHotel，parents，friendsandadmirers，asthenewsspread，werestandingfourdeepalongthebar。Theysoldfortydollars’worthoflageralonethatnight，andMr。Smithlearned，ifhehadnotalreadysuspectedit，theblessednessofgiving。
　　Theusesofphilanthropywentfurther。Mr。Smithsubscribedtoeverything，joinedeverything，gavetoeverything。HebecameanOddfellow，aForester，AKnightofPythiasandaWorkman。HegaveahundreddollarstotheMariposaHospitalandahundreddollarstotheYoungMen’sChristianAssociation。
　　HesubscribedtotheBallClub，theLacrosseClub，theCurlingClub，toanything，infact，andespeciallytoallthosethingswhichneededpremisestomeetinandgrewthirstyintheirdiscussions。
　　AsaconsequencetheOddfellowsheldtheirannualbanquetatSmith’sHotelandtheOysterSupperoftheKnightsofPythiaswascelebratedinMr。Smith’sdining—room。
　　Evenmoreeffective，perhaps，wereMr。Smith’ssecretbenefactions，thekindofgivingdonebystealthofwhichnotasoulintownknewanything，often，foraweekafteritwasdone。ItwasinthiswaythatMr。SmithputthenewfontinDeanDrone’schurch，andhandedoverahundreddollarstoJudgePepperleighfortheunrestraineduseoftheConservativeparty。
　　Soitcameaboutthat，littlebylittle，theantagonismhaddieddown。Smith’sHotelbecameanacceptedinstitutioninMariposa。EventhetemperancepeoplewereproudofMr。Smithasasortofcharacterwhoaddeddistinctiontothetown。Thereweremoments，intheearlierquietofthemorning，whenDeanDronewouldgosofarastostepintothe"rotunda"andcollectasubscription。AsfortheSalvationArmy，theyraninandoutallthetimeunreproved。
　　Ononlyonepointdifficultystillremained。Thatwastheclosingofthebar。Mr。Smithcouldneverbringhismindtoit，——notasamatterofprofit，butasapointofhonour。ItwastoomuchforhimtofeelthatJudgePepperleighmightbeoutonthesidewalkthirstyatmidnight，thatthenighthandsoftheTimes—HeraldonWednesdaymightbecompelledtogohomedry。OnthispointMr。Smith’smoralcodewassimplicityitself，——dowhatisrightandtaketheconsequences。Sothebarstayedopen。
　　Everytown，Isuppose，hasitsmeanerspirits。Ineverygenialbosomsomesnakeiswarmed，——or，asMr。SmithputittoGolgothaGingham——"therearesomefellerseveninthistownskunksenoughtoinform。"
　　AtfirsttheMariposacourtquashedallindictments。Thepresidingjudge，withhisspectaclesonandapileofbooksinfrontofhim，threatenedtheinformerwiththepenitentiary。ThewholebarofMariposawaswithMr。Smith。Butbysheeriterationtheinformationshadprovedsuccessful。JudgePepperleighlearnedthatMr。SmithhadsubscribedahundreddollarsfortheLiberalpartyandatoncefinedhimforkeepingopenafterhours。Thatmadeoneconviction。Onthetopofthishadcometheuntowardincidentjustmentionedandthatmadetwo。Beyondthatwasthedeluge。ThisthenwastheexactsituationwhenBilly，thedeskclerk，enteredthebackbarwiththetelegraminhishand。
　　"Here’syourwire，sir，"hesaid。
　　"Whatdoesitsay？"saidMr。Smith。
　　Healwaysdealtwithwrittendocumentswithafineairofdetachment。
　　Idon’tsupposethereweretenpeopleinMariposawhoknewthatMr。
　　Smithcouldn’tread。
　　Billyopenedthemessageandread，"Commissionersgiveyouthreemonthstoclosedown。"
　　"Letmereadit，"saidMr。Smith，"that’sright，threemonthstoclosedown。"
　　Therewasdeadsilencewhenthemessagewasread。EverybodywaitedforMr。Smithtospeak。Mr。Ginghaminstinctivelyassumedtheprofessionalairofhopelessmelancholy。
　　Asitwasafterwardsrecorded，Mr。Smithstoodand"studied"withthetrayinhishandforatleastfourminutes。Thenhespoke。
　　"Boys，"hesaid，"I’llbedarnedifIclosedowntillI’mreadytoclosedown。I’vegotanidee。YouwaitandI’llshowyou。"
　　Andbeyondthat，notanotherworddidMr。Smithsayonthesubject。
　　Butwithinforty—eighthoursthewholetownknewthatsomethingwasdoing。Thehotelswarmedwithcarpenters，bricklayersandpainters。
　　Therewasanarchitectupfromthecitywithabundleofblueprintsinhishand。Therewasanengineertakingthestreetlevelwithatheodolite，andagangofnavvieswithshovelsdigginglikefuryasiftodigoutthebackfoundationsofthehotel。
　　"That’llfool’em，"saidMr。Smith。
　　Halfthetownwasgatheredroundthehotelcrazywithexcitement。Butnotawordwouldtheproprietorsay。Greatdrayloadsofsquaretimber，andtwo—by—eightpinejoistskeptarrivingfromtheplaningmill。Therewasapileofmatchedsprucesixteenfeethighlyingbythesidewalk。
　　Thentheexcavationdeepenedandthedirtflew，andthebeamswentupandthejoistsacross，andallthedayfromdawntillduskthehammersofthecarpentersclatteredaway，workingovertimeattimeandahalf。
　　"Itdon’tmatterwhatitcosts，"saidMr。Smith;"getitdone。"
　　Rapidlythestructuretookform。Itextendeddownthesidestreet，joiningthehotelatarightangle。Spaciousandgracefulitlookedasitreareditsuprightsintotheair。
　　Alreadyyoucouldseetheplacewheretherowofwindowswastocome，averitablepalaceofglass，itmustbe，sowideandcommodiouswerethey。Belowit，youcouldseethebasementshapingitself，withalowceilinglikeavaultandbigbeamsrunningacross，dressed，smoothed，andreadyforstaining。Alreadyinthestreetthereweresevencratesofredandwhiteawning。
　　Andeventhennobodyknewwhatitwas，anditwasnottilltheseventeenthdaythatMr。Smith，intheprivacyofthebackbar，brokethesilenceandexplained。
　　"Itellyou，boys，"hesays，"it’sacaff——likewhattheyhaveinthecity——aladies’andgent’scaff，andthatunderneath（what’syours，Mr。Mullins？）isaRats’Cooler。AndwhenIgetherstarted，I’llhireaFrenchChieftodothecooking，andforthewinterIwillputina’girlroom，’likewhattheyhaveinthecityhotels。AndI’dliketoseewho’sgoingtocloseherupthen。"
　　Withintwomoreweekstheplanwasinoperation。Notonlywasthecaffbuiltbuttheveryhotelwastransformed。Awningshadbrokenoutinaredandwhiteclouduponitsface，itseverywindowcarriedaboxofhangingplants，andaboveingloryfloatedtheUnionJack。
　　Theverystationerywaschanged。TheplacewasnowSmith’sSummerPavilion。ItwasadvertisedinthecityasSmith’sTourists’
　　Emporium，andSmith’sNorthernHealthResort。Mr。SmithgottheeditoroftheTimes—HeraldtowriteupacircularallaboutozoneandtheMariposapinewoods，withillustrationsofthemaskinonge（piscismariposis）ofLakeWissanotti。
　　TheSaturdayafterthatcircularhitthecityinJuly，thereweremenwithfishingrodsandlandingnetspouringinoneverytrain，almosttoofasttoregister。Andif，inthefaceofthat，afewlittledropsofwhiskeyweresoldoverthebar，whothoughtofit？
　　Butthecaff！that，ofcourse，wasthecrowninggloryofthething，thatandtheRats’Coolerbelow。
　　Lightandcool，withswingingwindowsopentotheair，tableswithmarbletops，palms，waitersinwhitecoats——itwasthestandingmarvelofMariposa。NotasoulinthetownexceptMr。Smith，whoknewitbyinstinct，everguessedthatwaitersandpalmsandmarbletablescanberentedoverthelongdistancetelephone。
　　Mr。Smithwasasgoodashisword。HegotaFrenchChiefwithanaristocraticsaturninecountenance，andamoustacheandimperialthatrecalledthelateNapoleonIII。NooneknewwhereMr。Smithgothim。
　　SomepeopleinthetownsaidhewasaFrenchmarquis。Otherssaidhewasacountandexplainedthedifference。
　　NooneinMariposahadeverseenanythinglikethecaff。Alldownthesideofitwerethegrillfires，withgreatpewterdishcoversthatwentupanddownonachain，andyoucouldwalkalongtherowandactuallypickoutyourowncutletandthenseetheFrenchmarquisthrowitontothebroilingiron;youcouldwatchabuckwheatpancakewhirledintoexistenceunderyoureyesandseefowls’legsdevilled，peppered，grilled，andtormentedtilltheylostallsemblanceoftheoriginalMariposachicken。
　　Mr。Smith，ofcourse，wasinhisglory。
　　"Whathaveyougotto—day，Alf？"hewouldsay，ashestrolledovertothemarquis。ThenameoftheChiefwas，IbelieveAlphonse，but"Alf"
　　wasnearenoughforMr。Smith。
　　Themarquiswouldextendtotheproprietorthemenu，"Voila，m’sieu，lacartedujour。"
　　Mr。Smith，bytheway，encouragedtheuseoftheFrenchlanguageinthecaff。Heviewedit，ofcourse，solelyinitsrelationtothehotelbusiness，and，Ithink，regardeditasarecentinvention。
　　"It’scomin’inallthetimeinthecity，"hesaid，"andy’aintexpectedtounderstandit。"
　　Mr。Smithwouldtakethecartebetweenhisfingerandthumbandstareatit。ItwasallcoveredwithsuchdevicesasPotagelaMariposa——FiletMignonalaproprietaire——CotelletealaSmith，andsoon。
　　Butthegreatestthingaboutthecaffweretheprices。Thereinlay，aseverybodysawatonce，thehopelesssimplicityofMr。Smith。
　　Thepricesstoodfastat25centsameal。Youcouldcomeinandeatalltheyhadinthecaffforaquarter。
　　"No，sir，"Mr。Smithsaidstoutly，"Iain’tgoingtotrytoraisenopricesonthepublic。Thehotel’salwaysbeenaquarterandthecaff’saquarter。"
　　Full？Fullofpeople？
　　Well，Ishouldthinkso！Fromthetimethecaffopenedat11tillitclosedat8。30，youcouldhardlyfindatable。Tourists，visitors，travellers，andhalfthepeopleofMariposacrowdedatthelittletables;crockeryrattling，glassestinklingontrays，corkspopping，thewaitersintheirwhitecoatsflyingtoandfro，Alphonsewhirlingthecutletsandpancakesintotheair，andinandthroughitall，Mr。
　　Smith，inawhiteflannelsuitandabroadcrimsonsashabouthiswaist。Crowdedandgayfrommorningtonight，andevennoisyinitshilarity。

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