’Ican’tstayhereamonth,’hecried。’Noonecould。Thething’snonsense,Morris。ThepartiesthatlivedintheBastillewouldriseagainstaplacelikethis。’
  Withanadmirableaffectationofindifference,Morrisproposedagameofpitch—and—toss。Towhatwillnotthediplomatistcondescend!ItwasJohn’sfavouritegame;indeedhisonlygame——hehadfoundalltheresttoointellectual——andheplayeditwithequalskillandgoodfortune。ToMorrishimself,ontheotherhand,thewholebusinesswasdetestable;hewasabadpitcher,hehadnoluckintossing,andhewasonewhosufferedtormentswhenhelost。ButJohnwasinadangeroushumour,andhisbrotherwaspreparedforanysacrifice。
  Byseveno’clock,Morris,withincredibleagony,hadlostacoupleofhalf—crowns。Evenwiththetontinebeforehiseyes,thiswasasmuchashecouldbear;and,remarkingthathewouldtakehisrevengesomeothertime,heproposedabitofsupperandagrog。
  Beforetheyhadmadeanendofthisrefreshmentitwastimetobeatwork。Abucketofwaterforpresentnecessitieswaswithdrawnfromthewater—butt,whichwasthenemptiedandrolledbeforethekitchenfiretodry;andthetwobrotherssetforthontheiradventureunderastarlessheaven。
  CHAPTERIII。TheLectureratLargeWhethermankindisreallypartialtohappinessisanopenquestion。Notamonthpassesbybutsomecherishedsonrunsoffintothemerchantservice,orsomevaluedhusbanddecampstoTexaswithaladyhelp;clergymenhavefledfromtheirparishioners;andevenjudgeshavebeenknowntoretire。Toanopenmind,itwillappear(uponthewhole)lessstrangethatJosephFinsburyshouldhavebeenledtoentertainideasofescape。Hislot(Ithinkwemaysay)wasnotahappyone。Myfriend,MrMorris,withwhomItraveluptwiceorthriceaweekfromSnaresbrookPark,iscertainlyagentlemanwhomIesteem;
  buthewasscarceamodelnephew。AsforJohn,heisofcourseanexcellentfellow;butifhewastheonlylinkthatboundonetoahome,Ithinkthemostofuswouldvoteforforeigntravel。InthecaseofJoseph,John(ifhewerealinkatall)wasnottheonlyone;endearingbondshadlongenchainedtheoldgentlemantoBloomsbury;andbytheseexpressionsIdonotintheleastrefertoJuliaHazeltine(ofwhom,however,hewasfondenough),buttothatcollectionofmanuscriptnotebooksinwhichhislifelayburied。Thatheshouldeverhavemadeuphismindtoseparatehimselffromthesecollections,andgoforthupontheworldwithnootherresourcesthanhismemorysupplied,isacircumstancehighlypatheticinitself,andbutlittlecreditabletothewisdomofhisnephews。
  Thedesign,oratleastthetemptation,wasalreadysomemonthsold;andwhenabillforeighthundredpounds,payabletohimself,wassuddenlyplacedinJoseph’shand,itbroughtmatterstoanissue。Heretainedthatbill,which,tooneofhisfrugality,meantwealth;andhepromisedhimselftodisappearamongthecrowdsatWaterloo,or(ifthatshouldproveimpossible)toslinkoutofthehouseinthecourseoftheeveningandmeltlikeadreamintothemillionsofLondon。ByapeculiarinterpositionofProvidenceandrailwaymismanagementhehadnotsolongtowait。
  HewasoneofthefirsttocometohimselfandscrambletohisfeetaftertheBrowndeancatastrophe,andhehadnosoonerremarkedhisprostratenephewsthanheunderstoodhisopportunityandfled。Amanofupwardsofseventy,whohasjustmetwitharailwayaccident,andwhoiscumberedbesideswiththefulluniformofSirFaradayBond,isnotverylikelytofleefar,butthewoodwascloseathandandofferedthefugitiveatleastatemporarycovert。Hither,then,theoldgentlemanskippedwithextraordinaryexpedition,and,beingsomewhatwindedandagooddealshaken,herehelaydowninaconvenientgroveandwaspresentlyoverwhelmedbyslumber。Thewayoffateisoftenhighlyentertainingtothelooker—on,anditiscertainlyapleasantcircumstance,thatwhileMorrisandJohnweredelvinginthesandtoconcealthebodyofatotalstranger,theirunclelayindreamlesssleepafewhundredyardsdeeperinthewood。
  Hewasawakenedbythejollynoteofabuglefromtheneighbouringhighroad,whereachar—a—bancwasbowlingbywithsomebelatedtourists。Thesoundcheeredhisoldheart,itdirectedhisstepsintothebargain,andsoonhewasonthehighway,lookingeastandwestfromunderhisvizor,anddoubtfullyrevolvingwhatheoughttodo。Adeliberatesoundofwheelsaroseinthedistance,andthenacartwasseenapproaching,wellfilledwithparcels,drivenbyagood—naturedlookingmanonadoublebench,anddisplayingonaboardthelegend,’IChandler,carrier’。IntheinfamouslyprosaicmindofMrFinsbury,certainstreaksofpoetrysurvivedandwerestillefficient;theyhadcarriedhimtoAsiaMinorasagiddyyouthofforty,andnow,inthefirsthoursofhisrecoveredfreedom,theysuggestedtohimtheideaofcontinuinghisflightinMrChandler’scart。Itwouldbecheap;properlybroached,itmightevencostnothing,and,afteryearsofmittensandhygienicflannel,hisheartleapedouttomeetthenotionofexposure。
  MrChandlerwasperhapsalittlepuzzledtofindsooldagentleman,sostrangelyclothed,andbeggingforaliftonsoretiredaroadside。Buthewasagood—naturedman,gladtodoaservice,andsohetookthestrangerup;andhehadhisownideaofcivility,andsoheaskednoquestions。Silence,infact,wasquitegoodenoughforMrChandler;butthecarthadscarcelybeguntomoveforwarderehefoundhimselfinvolvedinaone—sidedconversation。
  ’Icansee,’beganMrFinsbury,’bythemixtureofparcelsandboxesthatarecontainedinyourcart,eachmarkedwithitsindividuallabel,andbythegoodFlemishmareyoudrive,thatyouoccupythepostofcarrierinthatgreatEnglishsystemoftransportwhich,withallitsdefects,istheprideofourcountry。’
  ’Yes,sir,’returnedMrChandlervaguely,forhehardlyknewwhattoreply;’themparcelspostshasdoneuscarriersaworldofharm。’
  ’Iamnotaprejudicedman,’continuedJosephFinsbury。’AsayoungmanItravelledmuch。Nothingwastoosmallortooobscureformetoacquire。AtseaIstudiedseamanship,learnedthecomplicatedknotsemployedbymariners,andacquiredthetechnicalterms。AtNaples,Iwouldlearntheartofmakingmacaroni;atNice,theprinciplesofmakingcandiedfruit。I
  neverwenttotheoperawithoutfirstbuyingthebookofthepiece,andmakingmyselfacquaintedwiththeprincipalairsbypickingthemoutonthepianowithonefinger。’
  ’Youmusthaveseenadeal,sir,’remarkedthecarrier,touchinguphishorse;’IwishIcouldhavehadyouradvantages。’
  ’DoyouknowhowoftenthewordwhipoccursintheOldTestament?’continuedtheoldgentleman。’Onehundredand(ifI
  rememberexactly)forty—seventimes。’
  ’Doitindeed,sir?’saidMrChandler。’Inevershouldhavethoughtit。’
  ’TheBiblecontainsthreemillionfivehundredandonethousandtwohundredandforty—nineletters。OfversesIbelievethereareupwardofeighteenthousand。TherehavebeenmanyeditionsoftheBible;WycliffwasthefirsttointroduceitintoEnglandabouttheyear1300。The"ParagraphBible",asitiscalled,isawell—knownedition,andissocalledbecauseitisdividedintoparagraphs。The"BreechesBible"isanotherwell—knowninstance,andgetsitsnameeitherbecauseitwasprintedbyoneBreeches,orbecausetheplaceofpublicationborethatname。’
  Thecarrierremarkeddrilythathethoughtthatwasonlynatural,andturnedhisattentiontothemorecongenialtaskofpassingacartofhay;itwasamatterofsomedifficulty,fortheroadwasnarrow,andtherewasaditchoneitherhand。
  ’Iperceive,’beganMrFinsbury,whentheyhadsuccessfullypassedthecart,’thatyouholdyourreinswithonehand;youshouldemploytwo。’
  ’Well,Ilikethat!’criedthecarriercontemptuously。’Why?’
  ’Youdonotunderstand,’continuedMrFinsbury。’WhatItellyouisascientificfact,andreposesonthetheoryofthelever,abranchofmechanics。Therearesomeveryinterestinglittleshillingbooksuponthefieldofstudy,whichIshouldthinkamaninyourstationwouldtakeapleasuretoread。ButIamafraidyouhavenotcultivatedtheartofobservation;atleastwehavenowdriventogetherforsometime,andIcannotrememberthatyouhavecontributedasinglefact。Thisisaveryfalseprinciple,mygoodman。Forinstance,Idonotknowifyouobservedthat(asyoupassedthehay—cartman)youtookyourleft?’
  ’OfcourseIdid,’criedthecarrier,whowasnowgettingbelligerent;’he’dhavethelawonmeifIhadn’t。’
  ’InFrance,now,’resumedtheoldman,’andalso,Ibelieve,intheUnitedStatesofAmerica,youwouldhavetakentheright。’
  ’Iwouldnot,’criedMrChandlerindignantly。’Iwouldhavetakentheleft。’
  ’Iobserveagain,’continuedMrFinsbury,scorningtoreply,’thatyoumendthedilapidatedpartsofyourharnesswithstring。
  IhavealwaysprotestedagainstthiscarelessnessandslovenlinessoftheEnglishpoor。InanessaythatIoncereadbeforeanappreciativeaudience——’
  ’Itain’tstring,’saidthecarriersullenly,’it’spack—thread。’
  ’Ihavealwaysprotested,’resumedtheoldman,’thatintheirprivateanddomesticlife,aswellasintheirlabouringcareer,thelowerclassesofthiscountryareimprovident,thriftless,andextravagant。Astitchintime——’
  ’WhothedevilAREthelowerclasses?’criedthecarrier。’Youarethelowerclassesyourself!IfIthoughtyouwereabloomingaristocrat,Ishouldn’thavegivenyoualift。’
  Thewordswereutteredwithundisguisedill—feeling;itwasplainthepairwerenotcongenial,andfurtherconversation,eventooneofMrFinsbury’spatheticloquacity,wasoutofthequestion。
  Withanangrygesture,hepulleddownthebrimoftheforage—capoverhiseyes,and,producinganotebookandabluepencilfromoneofhisinnermostpockets,soonbecameabsorbedincalculations。
  Onhispartthecarrierfelltowhistlingwithfreshzest;andif(nowandagain)heglancedatthecompanionofhisdrive,itwaswithmingledfeelingsoftriumphandalarm——triumphbecausehehadsucceededinarrestingthatprodigyofspeech,andalarmlest(byanyaccident)itshouldbeginagain。Eventheshower,whichpresentlyovertookandpassedthem,wasenduredbybothinsilence;anditwasstillinsilencethattheydroveatlengthintoSouthampton。
  Duskhadfallen;theshopwindowsglimmeredforthintothestreetsoftheoldseaport;inprivatehouseslightswerekindledfortheeveningmeal;andMrFinsburybegantothinkcomplacentlyofhisnight’slodging。Heputhispapersby,clearedhisthroat,andlookeddoubtfullyatMrChandler。
  ’Willyoubecivilenough,’saidhe,’torecommendmetoaninn?’
  MrChandlerponderedforamoment。
  ’Well,’hesaidatlast,’Iwonderhowaboutthe"TregonwellArms"。’
  ’The"TregonwellArms"willdoverywell,’returnedtheoldman,’ifit’scleanandcheap,andthepeoplecivil。’
  ’Iwasn’tthinkingsomuchofyou,’returnedMrChandlerthoughtfully。’IwasthinkingofmyfriendWattsaskeepsthe’ouse;he’safriendofmine,yousee,andhehelpedmethroughmytroublelastyear。AndIwasthinking,woulditbefair—likeonWattstosaddlehimwithanoldpartylikeyou,whomightbethedeathofhimwithgeneralinformation。Woulditbefairtothe’ouse?’enquiredMrChandler,withanairofcandidappeal。
  ’Markme,’criedtheoldgentlemanwithspirit。’Itwaskindinyoutobringmeherefornothing,butitgivesyounorighttoaddressmeinsuchterms。Here’sashillingforyourtrouble;
  and,ifyoudonotchoosetosetmedownatthe"TregonwellArms",Icanfinditformyself。’
  Chandlerwassurprisedandalittlestartled;mutteringsomethingapologetic,hereturnedtheshilling,droveinsilencethroughseveralintricatelanesandsmallstreets,drewupatlengthbeforethebrightwindowsofaninn,andcalledloudlyforMrWatts。
  ’Isthatyou,Jem?’criedaheartyvoicefromthestableyard。
  ’Comeinandwarmyourself。’
  ’Ionlystoppedhere,’MrChandlerexplained,’toletdownanoldgentthatwantsfoodandlodging。Mind,Iwarnyouaginhim;he’sworsenoratemperancelecturer。’
  MrFinsburydismountedwithdifficulty,forhewascrampedwithhislongdrive,andtheshakinghehadreceivedintheaccident。
  ThefriendlyMrWatts,inspiteofthecarter’sscarcelyagreeableintroduction,treatedtheoldgentlemanwiththeutmostcourtesy,andledhimintothebackparlour,wheretherewasabigfireburninginthegrate。Presentlyatablewasspreadinthesameroom,andhewasinvitedtoseathimselfbeforeastewedfowl——somewhattheworseforhavingseenservicebefore——andabigpewtermugofalefromthetap。
  Herosefromsupperagiantrefreshed;and,changinghisseattoonenearerthefire,begantoexaminetheotherguestswithaneyetothedelightsoforatory。Therewerenearadozenpresent,allmen,and(asJosephexultedtoperceive)allworkingmen。
  Oftenalreadyhadheseencausetoblessthatappetitefordisconnectedfactandrotatoryargumentwhichissomarkedacharacterofthemechanic。Butevenanaudienceofworkingmenhastobecourted,andtherewasnomanmoredeeplyversedinthenecessaryartsthanJosephFinsbury。Heplacedhisglassesonhisnose,drewfromhispocketabundleofpapers,andspreadthembeforehimonatable。Hecrumpledthem,hesmoothedthemout;
  nowheskimmedthemover,apparentlywellpleasedwiththeircontents;now,withtappingpencilandcontractedbrows,heseemedmaturelytoconsidersomeparticularstatement。Astealthyglanceabouttheroomassuredhimofthesuccessofhismanoeuvres;alleyeswereturnedontheperformer,mouthswereopen,pipeshungsuspended;thebirdswerecharmed。AtthesamemomenttheentranceofMrWattsaffordedhimanopportunity。
  ’Iobserve,’saidhe,addressingthelandlord,buttakingatthesametimethewholeroomintohisconfidencewithanencouraginglook,’Iobservethatsomeofthesegentlemenarelookingwithcuriosityinmydirection;andcertainlyitisunusualtoseeanyoneimmersedinliteraryandscientificlaboursinthepublicapartmentofaninn。IhaveheresomecalculationsImadethismorninguponthecostoflivinginthisandothercountries——asubject,Ineedscarcelysay,highlyinterestingtotheworkingclasses。Ihavecalculatedascaleoflivingforincomesofeighty,onehundredandsixty,twohundred,andtwohundredandfortypoundsayear。Imustconfessthattheincomeofeightypoundshassomewhatbaffledme,andtheothersarenotsoexactasIcouldwish;forthepriceofwashingvarieslargelyinforeigncountries,andthedifferentcokes,coalsandfirewoodsfluctuatesurprisingly。Iwillreadmyresearches,andIhopeyouwon’tscrupletopointouttomeanylittleerrorsthatImayhavecommittedeitherfromoversightorignorance。Iwillbegin,gentlemen,withtheincomeofeightypoundsayear。’
  Whereupontheoldgentleman,withlesscompassionthanhewouldhavehadforbrutebeasts,deliveredhimselfofallhistediouscalculations。Asheoccasionallygavenineversionsofasingleincome,placingtheimaginarypersoninLondon,Paris,Bagdad,Spitzbergen,Bassorah,Heligoland,theScillyIslands,Brighton,Cincinnati,andNijni—Novgorod,withanappropriateoutfitforeachlocality,itisnowonderthathishearerslookbackonthateveningasthemosttiresometheyeverspent。
  LongbeforeMrFinsburyhadreachedNijni—Novgorodwiththeincomeofonehundredandsixtypounds,thecompanyhaddwindledandfadedawaytoafewoldtopersandtheboredbutaffableWatts。Therewasaconstantstreamofcustomersfromtheouterworld,butsosoonastheywereservedtheydranktheirliquorquicklyanddepartedwiththeutmostcelerityforthenextpublic—house。
  BythetimetheyoungmanwithtwohundredayearwasvegetatingintheScillyIslands,MrWattswasleftalonewiththeeconomist;andthatimaginarypersonhadscarcecommencedlifeatBrightonbeforethelastofhispursuersdesistedfromthechase。
  MrFinsburysleptsoundlyafterthemanifoldfatiguesoftheday。
  Heroselate,and,afteragoodbreakfast,orderedthebill。Thenitwasthathemadeadiscoverywhichhasbeenmadebymanyothers,bothbeforeandsince:thatitisonethingtoorderyourbill,andanothertodischargeit。Theitemsweremoderateand(whatdoesnotalwaysfollow)thetotalsmall;but,afterthemostsedulousreviewofallhispockets,oneandninepencehalfpennyappearedtobethetotaloftheoldgentleman’savailableassets。HeaskedtoseeMrWatts。
  ’HereisabillonLondonforeighthundredpounds,’saidMrFinsbury,asthatworthyappeared。’Iamafraid,unlessyouchoosetodiscountityourself,itmaydetainmeadayortwotillIcangetitcashed。’
  MrWattslookedatthebill,turneditover,anddogs—eareditwithhisfingers。’Itwillkeepyouadayortwo?’hesaid,repeatingtheoldman’swords。’Youhavenoothermoneywithyou?’
  ’Sometriflingchange,’respondedJoseph。’Nothingtospeakof。’
  ’Thenyoucansenditme;Ishouldbepleasedtotrustyou。’
  ’Totellthetruth,’answeredtheoldgentleman,’Iammorethanhalfinclinedtostay;Iaminneedoffunds。’
  ’Ifaloanoftenshillingswouldhelpyou,itisatyourservice,’respondedWatts,witheagerness。
  ’No,IthinkIwouldratherstay,’saidtheoldman,’andgetmybilldiscounted。’
  ’Youshallnotstayinmyhouse,’criedMrWatts。’Thisisthelasttimeyoushallhaveabedatthe"TregonwellArms"。’
  ’Iinsistuponremaining,’repliedMrFinsbury,withspirit;’I
  remainbyActofParliament;turnmeoutifyoudare。’
  ’Thenpayyourbill,’saidMrWatts。
  ’Takethat,’criedtheoldman,tossinghimthenegotiablebill。
  ’Itisnotlegaltender,’repliedMrWatts。’Youmustleavemyhouseatonce。’
  ’YoucannotappreciatethecontemptIfeelforyou,MrWatts,’
  saidtheoldgentleman,resigninghimselftocircumstances。’Butyoushallfeelitinoneway:Irefusetopaymybill。’
  ’Idon’tcareforyourbill,’respondedMrWatts。’WhatIwantisyourabsence。’
  ’Thatyoushallhave!’saidtheoldgentleman,and,takinguphisforagecapashespoke,hecrammeditonhishead。’Perhapsyouaretooinsolent,’headded,’toinformmeofthetimeofthenextLondontrain?’
  ’Itleavesinthree—quartersofanhour,’returnedtheinnkeeperwithalacrity。’Youcaneasilycatchit。’
  Joseph’spositionwasoneofconsiderableweakness。Ontheonehand,itwouldhavebeenwelltoavoidthedirectlineofrailway,sinceitwastherehemightexpecthisnephewstolieinwaitforhisrecapture;ontheother,itwashighlydesirable,itwasevenstrictlyneedful,togetthebilldiscountedereitshouldbestopped。ToLondon,therefore,hedecidedtoproceedonthefirsttrain;andthereremainedbutonepointtobeconsidered,howtopayhisfare。
  Joseph’snailswereneverclean;heatealmostentirelywithhisknife。Idoubtifyoucouldsayhehadthemannersofagentleman;buthehadbetterthanthat,atouchofgenuinedignity。WasitfromhisstayinAsiaMinor?WasitfromastrainintheFinsburybloodsometimesalludedtobycustomers?Atleast,whenhepresentedhimselfbeforethestation—master,hissalaamwastrulyOriental,palm—treesappearedtocrowdaboutthelittleoffice,andthesimoomorthebulbul——butIleavethisimagetopersonsbetteracquaintedwiththeEast。Hisappearance,besides,washighlyinhisfavour;theuniformofSirFaraday,howeverinconvenientandconspicuous,was,atleast,acostumeinwhichnoswindlercouldhavehopedtoprosper;andtheexhibitionofavaluablewatchandabillforeighthundredpoundscompletedwhatdeportmenthadbegun。Aquarterofanhourlater,whenthetraincameup,MrFinsburywasintroducedtotheguardandinstalledinafirst—classcompartment,thestation—mastersmilinglyassumingallresponsibility。
  Astheoldgentlemansatwaitingthemomentofdeparture,hewasthewitnessofanincidentstrangelyconnectedwiththefortunesofhishouse。Apacking—caseofcyclopeanbulkwasbornealongtheplatformbysomedozenoftotteringporters,andultimately,tothedelightofaconsiderablecrowd,hoistedonboardthevan。
  Itisoftenthecheeringtaskofthehistoriantodirectattentiontothedesignsand(ifitmaybereverentlysaid)theartificesofProvidence。Intheluggagevan,asJosephwasborneoutofthestationofSouthamptonEastuponhiswaytoLondon,theeggofhisromancelay(sotospeak)unhatched。Thehugepacking—casewasdirectedtolieatWaterlootillcalledfor,andaddressedtoone’WilliamDentPitman’;andtheverynextarticle,agoodlybarreljammedintothecornerofthevan,borethesuperscription,’M。Finsbury,16JohnStreet,Bloomsbury。
  Carriagepaid。’
  Inthisjuxtaposition,thetrainofpowderwasprepared;andtherewasnowwantingonlyanidlehandtofireitoff。
  CHAPTERIV。TheMagistrateintheLuggageVanThecityofWinchesterisfamedforacathedral,abishop——buthewasunfortunatelykilledsomeyearsagowhileriding——apublicschool,aconsiderableassortmentofthemilitary,andthedeliberatepassageofthetrainsoftheLondonandSouth—Westernline。TheseandmanysimilarassociationswouldhavedoubtlesscrowdedonthemindofJosephFinsbury;buthisspirithadatthattimeflittedfromtherailwaycompartmenttoaheavenofpopulouslecture—hallsandendlessoratory。Hisbody,inthemeanwhile,laydoubledonthecushions,theforage—caprakishlytiltedbackafterthefashionofthosethatlieinwaitfornursery—maids,thepooroldfacequiescent,onearmclutchingtohisheartLloyd’sWeeklyNewspaper。
  Tohim,thusunconscious,enterandexeuntagainapairofvoyagers。Thesetwohadsavedthetrainandnomore。Atandemurgedtoitslastspeed,anactofsomethingcloselyborderingonbrigandageattheticketoffice,andaspasmofrunning,hadbroughtthemontheplatformjustastheengineuttereditsdepartingsnort。Therewasbutonecarriageeasilywithintheirreach;andtheyhadsprungintoit,andtheleaderandelderalreadyhadhisfeetuponthefloor,whenheobservedMrFinsbury。
  ’GoodGod!’hecried。’UncleJoseph!This’llneverdo。’
  Andhebackedout,almostupsettinghiscompanion,andoncemoreclosedthedooruponthesleepingpatriarch。
  Thenextmomentthepairhadjumpedintothebaggagevan。
  ’What’stherowaboutyourUncleJoseph?’enquiredtheyoungertraveller,moppinghisbrow。’Doesheobjecttosmoking?’
  ’Idon’tknowthatthere’sanythingtherowwithhim,’returnedtheother。’He’sbynomeansthefirstcomer,myUncleJoseph,I
  cantellyou!Veryrespectableoldgentleman;interestedinleather;beentoAsiaMinor;nofamily,noassets——andatongue,mydearWickham,sharperthanaserpent’stooth。’
  ’Cantankerousoldparty,eh?’suggestedWickham。
  ’Notintheleast,’criedtheother;’onlyamanwithasolidtalentforbeingabore;rathercheeryIdaresay,onadesertisland,butonarailwayjourneyinsupportable。YoushouldhearhimonTonti,theassthatstartedtontines。He’sincredibleonTonti。’
  ’ByJove!’criedWickham,’thenyou’reoneoftheseFinsburytontinefellows。Ihadn’taguessofthat。’
  ’Ah!’saidtheother,’doyouknowthatoldboyinthecarriageisworthahundredthousandpoundstome?Therehewasasleep,andnobodytherebutyou!ButIsparedhim,becauseI’maConservativeinpolitics。’
  MrWickham,pleasedtobeinaluggagevan,wasflittingtoandfrolikeagentlemanlybutterfly。
  ’ByJingo!’hecried,’here’ssomethingforyou!"M。Finsbury,16
  JohnStreet,Bloomsbury,London。"M。standsforMichael,youslydog;youkeeptwoestablishments,doyou?’
  ’O,that’sMorris,’respondedMichaelfromtheotherendofthevan,wherehehadfoundacomfortableseatuponsomesacks。’He’salittlecousinofmine。Ilikehimmyself,becausehe’safraidofme。He’soneoftheornamentsofBloomsbury,andhasacollectionofsomekind——birds’eggsorsomethingthat’ssupposedtobecurious。Ibetit’snothingtomyclients!’
  ’Whatalarkitwouldbetoplaybillywiththelabels!’chuckledMrWickham。’ByGeorge,here’satack—hammer!Wemightsendallthesethingsskippingaboutthepremiseslikewhat’s—his—name!’
  Atthismoment,theguard,surprisedbythesoundofvoices,openedthedoorofhislittlecabin。
  ’Youhadbeststepinhere,gentlemen,’saidhe,whenhehadheardtheirstory。
  ’Won’tyoucome,Wickham?’askedMichael。
  ’Catchme——Iwanttotravelinavan,’repliedtheyouth。
  Andsothedoorofcommunicationwasclosed;andfortherestoftherunMrWickhamwasleftaloneoverhisdiversionsontheoneside,andontheotherMichaelandtheguardwereclosetedtogetherinfamiliartalk。
  ’Icangetyouacompartmenthere,sir,’observedtheofficial,asthetrainbegantoslackenspeedbeforeBishopstokestation。
  ’Youhadbestgetoutatmydoor,andIcanbringyourfriend。’
  MrWickham,whomweleft(asthereaderhasshrewdlysuspected)
  beginningto’playbilly’withthelabelsinthevan,wasayounggentlemanofmuchwealth,apleasingbutsandyexterior,andahighlyvacantmind。Notmanymonthsbefore,hehadcontrivedtogethimselfblackmailedbythefamilyofaWallachianHospodar,residentforpoliticalreasonsinthegaycityofParis。Acommonfriend(towhomhehadconfidedhisdistress)recommendedhimtoMichael;andthelawyerwasnosoonerinpossessionofthefactsthanheinstantlyassumedtheoffensive,fellontheflankoftheWallachianforces,and,intheinsideofthreedays,hadthesatisfactiontobeholdthemroutedandfleeingfortheDanube。Itisnobusinessofourstofollowthemonthisretreat,overwhichthepoliceweresoobligingastopresidepaternally。ThusrelievedfromwhathelovedtorefertoastheBulgarianAtrocity,MrWickhamreturnedtoLondonwiththemostunboundedandembarrassinggratitudeandadmirationforhissaviour。Thesesentimentswerenotrepaideitherinkindordegree;indeed,Michaelwasatrifleashamedofhisnewclient’sfriendship;ithadtakenmanyinvitationstogethimtoWinchesterandWickhamManor;buthehadgoneatlast,andwasnowreturning。Ithasbeenremarkedbysomejudiciousthinker(possiblyJ。F。Smith)
  thatProvidencedespisestoemploynoinstrument,howeverhumble;
  anditisnowplaintothedullestthatbothMrWickhamandtheWallachianHospodarwereliquidleadandwedgesinthehandofDestiny。
  SmittenwiththedesiretoshineinMichael’seyesandshowhimselfapersonoforiginalhumourandresources,theyounggentleman(whowasamagistrate,morebytoken,inhisnativecounty)wasnosooneraloneinthevanthanhefelluponthelabelswithallthezealofareformer;and,whenherejoinedthelawyeratBishopstoke,hisfacewasflushedwithhisexertions,andhiscigar,whichhehadsufferedtogooutwasalmostbittenintwo。
  ’ByGeorge,butthishasbeenalark!’hecried。’I’vesentthewrongthingtoeverybodyinEngland。Thesecousinsofyourshaveapacking—caseasbigasahouse。I’vemuddledthewholebusinessuptothatextent,Finsbury,thatifitweretogetoutit’smybeliefweshouldgetlynched。’
  ItwasuselesstobeseriouswithMrWickham。’Takecare,’saidMichael。’Iamgettingtiredofyourperpetualscrapes;myreputationisbeginningtosuffer。’
  ’Yourreputationwillbeallgonebeforeyoufinishwithme,’
  repliedhiscompanionwithagrin。’Clapitinthebill,myboy。
  "Fortotallossofreputation,sixandeightpence。"But,’
  continuedMrWickhamwithmoreseriousness,’couldIbebowledoutoftheCommissionforthislittlejest?Iknowit’ssmall,butIliketobeaJP。Speakingasaprofessionalman,doyouthinkthere’sanyrisk?’
  ’Whatdoesitmatter?’respondedMichael,’they’llchuckyououtsoonerorlater。Somehowyoudon’tgivetheeffectofbeingagoodmagistrate。’
  ’IonlywishIwasasolicitor,’retortedhiscompanion,’insteadofapoordevilofacountrygentleman。Supposewestartoneofthosetontineaffairsourselves;Itopayfivehundredayear,andyoutoguaranteemeagainsteverymisfortuneexceptillnessormarriage。’
  ’Itstrikesme,’remarkedthelawyerwithameditativelaugh,ashelightedacigar,’itstrikesmethatyoumustbeacursednuisanceinthisworldofours。’
  ’Doyoureallythinkso,Finsbury?’respondedthemagistrate,leaningbackinhiscushions,delightedwiththecompliment。
  ’Yes,IsupposeIamanuisance。But,mindyou,Ihaveastakeinthecountry:don’tforgetthat,dearboy。’
  CHAPTERV
  MrGideonForsythandtheGiganticBoxIthasbeenmentionedthatatBournemouthJuliasometimesmadeacquaintances;itistrueshehadbutaglimpseofthembeforethedoorsofJohnStreetclosedagainuponitscaptives,buttheglimpsewassometimesexhilarating,andtheconsequentregretwastemperedwithhope。AmongthosewhomshehadthusmetayearbeforewasayoungbarristerofthenameofGideonForsyth。
  Aboutthreeo’clockoftheeventfuldaywhenthemagistratetamperedwiththelabels,asomewhatmoodyanddistemperedramblehadcarriedMrForsythtothecornerofJohnStreet;andaboutthesamemomentMissHazeltinewascalledtothedoorofNo。16
  byathunderingdoubleknock。
  MrGideonForsythwasahappyenoughyoungman;hewouldhavebeenhappierifhehadhadmoremoneyandlessuncle。Onehundredandtwentypoundsayearwasallhisstore;buthisuncle,MrEdwardHughBloomfield,supplementedthiswithahandsomeallowanceandagreatdealofadvice,couchedinlanguagethatwouldprobablyhavebeenjudgedintemperateonboardapirateship。MrBloomfieldwasindeedafigurequitepeculiartothedaysofMrGladstone;whatwemaycall(forthelackofanacceptedexpression)aSquirradical。Havingacquiredyearswithoutexperience,hecarriedintotheRadicalsideofpoliticsthosenoisy,after—dinner—tablepassions,whichwearemoreaccustomedtoconnectwithToryisminitssevereandsenileaspects。TotheopinionsofMrBradlaugh,infact,headdedthetemperandthesympathiesofthatextinctanimal,theSquire;headmiredpugilism,hecarriedaformidableoakenstaff,hewasareverentchurchman,anditwashardtoknowwhichwouldhavemorevolcanicallystirredhischoler——apersonwhoshouldhavedefendedtheestablishedchurch,oronewhoshouldhaveneglectedtoattenditscelebrations。Hehadbesidessomelevellingcatchwords,justlydreadedinthefamilycircle;andwhenhecouldnotgosofarastodeclareastepun—English,hemightstill(andwithhardlylesseffect)denounceitasunpractical。
  ItwasunderthebanofthislesserexcommunicationthatGideonhadfallen。Hisviewsonthestudyoflawhadbeenpronouncedunpractical;andithadbeenintimatedtohim,inavociferousinterviewpunctuatedwiththeoakenstaff,thathemusteithertakeanewstartandgetabriefortwo,orpreparetoliveonhisownmoney。
  NowonderifGideonwasmoody。Hehadnottheslightestwishtomodifyhispresenthabits;buthewouldnotstandonthat,sincetherecallofMrBloomfield’sallowancewouldrevolutionizethemstillmoreradically。Hehadnottheleastdesiretoacquainthimselfwithlaw;hehadlookedintoitalready,anditseemednottorepayattention;butuponthisalsohewasreadytogiveway。Infact,hewouldgoasfarashecouldtomeettheviewsofhisuncle,theSquirradical。Buttherewasonepartoftheprogrammethatappearedindependentofhiswill。Howtogetabrief?therewasthequestion。Andtherewasanotherandaworse。
  Supposehegotone,shouldheprovethebetterman?
  Suddenlyhefoundhiswaybarredbyacrowd。Agarishlyilluminatedvanwasbackedagainstthekerb;fromitsopenstern,halfrestingonthestreet,halfsupportedbysomeglisteningathletes,theendofthelargestpacking—caseinthecountyofMiddlesexmighthavebeenseenprotruding;while,onthestepsofthehouse,theburlypersonofthedriverandtheslimfigureofayounggirlstoodasuponastage,disputing。
  ’Itisnotforus,’thegirlwassaying。’Ibegyoutotakeitaway;itcouldn’tgetintothehouse,evenifyoumanagedtogetitoutofthevan。’
  ’Ishallleaveitonthepavement,then,andM。FinsburycanarrangewiththeVestryashelikes,’saidthevanman。
  ’ButIamnotM。Finsbury,’expostulatedthegirl。
  ’Itdoesn’tmatterwhoyouare,’saidthevanman。
  ’Youmustallowmetohelpyou,MissHazeltine,’saidGideon,puttingouthishand。
  Juliagavealittlecryofpleasure。’O,MrForsyth,’shecried,’Iamsogladtoseeyou;wemustgetthishorridthing,whichcanonlyhavecomeherebymistake,intothehouse。Themansayswe’llhavetotakeoffthedoor,orknocktwoofourwindowsintoone,orbefinedbytheVestryorCustomHouseorsomethingforleavingourparcelsonthepavement。’
  Themenbythistimehadsuccessfullyremovedtheboxfromthevan,hadplumpeditdownonthepavement,andnowstoodleaningagainstit,orgazingatthedoorofNo。16,invisiblephysicaldistressandmentalembarrassment。Thewindowsofthewholestreethadfilled,asifbymagic,withinterestedandentertainedspectators。
  Withasthoughtfulandscientificanexpressionashecouldassume,Gideonmeasuredthedoorwaywithhiscane,whileJuliaenteredhisobservationsinadrawing—book。Hethenmeasuredthebox,and,uponcomparinghisdata,foundthattherewasjustenoughspaceforittoenter。Next,throwingoffhiscoatandwaistcoat,heassistedthementotakethedoorfromitshinges。
  Andlastly,allbystandersbeingpressedintotheservice,thepacking—casemountedthestepsuponsomefifteenpairsofwaveringlegs——scraped,loudlygrinding,throughthedoorway——andwasdepositedatlength,withaformidableconvulsion,inthefarendofthelobby,whichitalmostblocked。Theartisansofthisvictorysmileduponeachotherasthedustsubsided。ItwastruetheyhadsmashedabustofApolloandploughedthewallintodeepruts;but,atleast,theywerenolongeroneofthepublicspectaclesofLondon。
  ’Well,sir,’saidthevanman,’Ineverseesuchajob。’
  Gideoneloquentlyexpressedhisconcurrenceinthissentimentbypressingacoupleofsovereignsintheman’shand。
  ’Makeitthree,sir,andI’llstandSamtoeverybodyhere!’criedthelatter,and,thishavingbeendone,thewholebodyofvolunteerportersswarmedintothevan,whichdroveoffinthedirectionofthenearestreliablepublic—house。Gideonclosedthedoorontheirdeparture,andturnedtoJulia;theireyesmet;themostuncontrollablemirthseizeduponthemboth,andtheymadethehouseringwiththeirlaughter。ThencuriosityawokeinJulia’smind,andshewentandexaminedthebox,andmoreespeciallythelabel。
  ’Thisisthestrangestthingthateverhappened,’shesaid,withanotherburstoflaughter。’ItiscertainlyMorris’shandwriting,andIhadaletterfromhimonlythismorning,tellingmetoexpectabarrel。Isthereabarrelcomingtoo,doyouthink,MrForsyth?’
  "’StatuarywithCare,Fragile,’"readGideonaloudfromthepaintedwarningonthebox。’Thenyouweretoldnothingaboutthis?’
  ’No,’respondedJulia。’O,MrForsyth,don’tyouthinkwemighttakeapeepatit?’
  ’Yes,indeed,’criedGideon。’Justletmehaveahammer。’
  ’Comedown,andI’llshowyouwhereitis,’criedJulia。’Theshelfistoohighformetoreach’;and,openingthedoorofthekitchenstair,shebadeGideonfollowher。Theyfoundboththehammerandachisel;butGideonwassurprisedtoseenosignofaservant。HealsodiscoveredthatMissHazeltinehadaveryprettylittlefootandankle;andthediscoveryembarrassedhimsomuchthathewasgladtofallatonceuponthepacking—case。
  Heworkedhardandearnestly,anddealthisblowswiththeprecisionofablacksmith;Juliathewhilestandingsilentlybyhisside,andregardingrathertheworkmanthanthework。Hewasahandsomefellow;shetoldherselfshehadneverseensuchbeautifularms。Andsuddenly,asthoughhehadoverheardthesethoughts,Gideonturnedandsmiledtoher。She,too,smiledandcoloured;andthedoublechangebecamehersoprettilythatGideonforgottoturnawayhiseyes,and,swingingthehammerwithawill,dischargedasmashingblowonhisownknuckles。Withadmirablepresenceofmindhecrusheddownanoathandsubstitutedtheharmlesscomment,’Butterfingers!’Butthepainwassharp,hisnervewasshaken,andafteranabortivetrialhefoundhemustdesistfromfurtheroperations。
  InamomentJuliawasofftothepantry;inamomentshewasbackagainwithabasinofwaterandasponge,andhadbeguntobathehiswoundedhand。
  ’Iamdreadfullysorry!’saidGideonapologetically。’IfIhadhadanymannersIshouldhaveopenedtheboxfirstandsmashedmyhandafterward。Itfeelsmuchbetter,’headded。’Iassureyouitdoes。’
  ’AndnowIthinkyouarewellenoughtodirectoperations,’saidshe。’Tellmewhattodo,andI’llbeyourworkman。’
  ’Averyprettyworkman,’saidGideon,ratherforgettinghimself。
  Sheturnedandlookedathim,withasuspicionofafrown;andtheindiscreetyoungmanwasgladtodirectherattentiontothepacking—case。Thebulkoftheworkhadbeenaccomplished;andpresentlyJuliahadburstthroughthelastbarrieranddisclosedazoneofstraw。inamomenttheywerekneelingsidebyside,engagedlikehaymakers;thenexttheywererewardedwithaglimpseofsomethingwhiteandpolished;andthenextagainlaidbareanunmistakablemarbleleg。
  ’Heissurelyaveryathleticperson,’saidJulia。
  ’Ineversawanythinglikeit,’respondedGideon。’Hismusclesstandoutlikepennyrolls。’
  Anotherlegwassoondisclosed,andthenwhatseemedtobeathird。Thisresolveditself,however,intoaknottedclubrestinguponapedestal。
  ’ItisaHercules,’criedGideon;’Imighthaveguessedthatfromhiscalf。I’msupposedtoberatherpartialtostatuary,butwhenitcomestoHercules,thepoliceshouldinterfere。Ishouldsay,’
  headded,glancingwithdisaffectionattheswollenleg,’thatthiswasaboutthebiggestandtheworstinEurope。Whatinheaven’snamecanhaveinducedhimtocomehere?’
  ’Isupposenobodyelsewouldhaveagiftofhim,’saidJulia。
  ’Andforthatmatter,Ithinkwecouldhavedonewithoutthemonsterverywell。’
  ’O,don’tsaythat,’returnedGideon。’Thishasbeenoneofthemostamusingexperiencesofmylife。’
  ’Idon’tthinkyou’llforgetitverysoon,’saidJulia。’Yourhandwillremindyou。’
  ’Well,IsupposeImustbegoing,’saidGideonreluctantly。’No,’
  pleadedJulia。’Whyshouldyou?Stayandhaveteawithme。’
  ’IfIthoughtyoureallywishedmetostay,’saidGideon,lookingathishat,’ofcourseIshouldonlybetoodelighted。’
  ’Whatasillypersonyoumusttakemefor!’returnedthegirl。
  ’Why,ofcourseIdo;and,besides,Iwantsomecakesfortea,andI’venobodytosend。Hereisthelatchkey。’
  Gideonputonhishatwithalacrity,andcastingonelookatMissHazeltine,andanotheratthelegsofHercules,threwopenthedooranddepartedonhiserrand。
  Hereturnedwithalargebagofthechoicestandmosttemptingofcakesandtartlets,andfoundJuliaintheactofspreadingasmalltea—tableinthelobby。
  "Theroomsareallinsuchastate,’shecried,’thatIthoughtweshouldbemorecosyandcomfortableinourownlobby,andunderourownvineandstatuary。’
  ’Eversomuchbetter,’criedGideondelightedly。
  ’Owhatadorablecreamtarts!’saidJulia,openingthebag,’andthedearestlittlecherrytartlets,withallthecherriesspilledoutintothecream!’
  ’Yes,’saidGideon,concealinghisdismay,’Iknewtheywouldmixbeautifully;thewomanbehindthecountertoldmeso。’
  ’Now,’saidJulia,astheybegantheirlittlefestival,’IamgoingtoshowyouMorris’sletter;readitaloud,please;perhapsthere’ssomethingIhavemissed。’
  Gideontooktheletter,andspreadingitoutonhisknee,readasfollows:
  DEARJULIA,IwriteyoufromBrowndean,wherewearestoppingoverforafewdays。Unclewasmuchshakeninthatdreadfulaccident,ofwhich,Idaresay,youhaveseentheaccount。
  TomorrowIleavehimherewithJohn,andcomeupalone;butbeforethat,youwillhavereceivedabarrelCONTAININGSPECIMENS
  FORAFRIEND。Donotopenitonanyaccount,butleaveitinthelobbytillIcome。
  Yoursinhaste,M。FINSBURY。
  P。S。——Besureandleavethebarrelinthelobby。
  ’No,’saidGideon,’thereseemstobenothingaboutthemonument,’andhenodded,ashespoke,atthemarblelegs。’MissHazeltine,’hecontinued,’wouldyoumindmeaskingafewquestions?’
  ’Certainlynot,’repliedJulia;’andifyoucanmakemeunderstandwhyMorrishassentastatueofHerculesinsteadofabarrelcontainingspecimensforafriend,Ishallbegratefultillmydyingday。Andwhatarespecimensforafriend?’
  ’Ihaven’taguess,’saidGideon。’Specimensareusuallybitsofstone,butrathersmallerthanourfriendthemonument。Still,thatisnotthepoint。Areyouquitealoneinthisbighouse?’
  ’Yes,Iamatpresent,’returnedJulia。’Icameupbeforethemtopreparethehouse,andgetanotherservant。ButIcouldn’tgetoneIliked。’
  ’Thenyouareutterlyalone,’saidGideoninamazement。’Areyounotafraid?’
  ’No,’respondedJuliastoutly。’Idon’tseewhyIshouldbemoreafraidthanyouwouldbe;Iamweaker,ofcourse,butwhenI
  foundImustsleepaloneinthehouseIboughtarevolverwonderfullycheap,andmadethemanshowmehowtouseit。’
  ’Andhowdoyouuseit?’demandedGideon,muchamusedathercourage。
  ’Why,’saidshe,withasmile,’youpullthelittletriggerthingontop,andthenpointingitverylow,foritspringsupasyoufire,youpulltheunderneathlittletriggerthing,anditgoesoffaswellasifamanhaddoneit。’
  ’Andhowoftenhaveyouusedit?’askedGideon。
  ’O,Ihavenotusedityet,’saidthedeterminedyounglady;’butIknowhow,andthatmakesmewonderfullycourageous,especiallywhenIbarricademydoorwithachestofdrawers。’
  ’I’mawfullygladtheyarecomingbacksoon,’saidGideon。’Thisbusinessstrikesmeasexcessivelyunsafe;ifitgoesonmuchlonger,Icouldprovideyouwithamaidenauntofmine,ormylandladyifyoupreferred。’
  ’Lendmeanaunt!’criedJulia。’O,whatgenerosity!IbegintothinkitmusthavebeenyouthatsenttheHercules。’
  ’Believeme,’criedtheyoungman,’Iadmireyoutoomuchtosendyousuchaninfamousworkofart……’
  Juliawasbeginningtoreply,whentheywerebothstartledbyaknockingatthedoor。
  ’O,MrForsyth!’
  ’Don’tbeafraid,mydeargirl,’saidGideon,layinghishandtenderlyonherarm。
  ’Iknowit’sthepolice,’shewhispered。’Theyarecomingtocomplainaboutthestatue。’
  Theknockwasrepeated。Itwaslouderthanbefore,andmoreimpatient。
  ’It’sMorris,’criedJulia,inastartledvoice,andsherantothedoorandopenedit。
  ItwasindeedMorristhatstoodbeforethem;nottheMorrisofordinarydays,butawild—lookingfellow,paleandhaggard,withbloodshoteyes,andatwo—days’bearduponhischin。
  ’Thebarrel!’hecried。’Where’sthebarrelthatcamethismorning?’Andhestaredaboutthelobby,hiseyes,astheyfelluponthelegsofHercules,literallygogglinginhishead。’Whatisthat?’hescreamed。’Whatisthatwaxwork?Speak,youfool!
  Whatisthat?Andwhere’sthebarrel——thewater—butt?’
  ’Nobarrelcame,Morris,’respondedJuliacoldly。’Thisistheonlythingthathasarrived。’
  ’This!’shriekedthemiserableman。’Ineverheardofit!’
  ’Itcameaddressedinyourhand,’repliedJulia;’wehadnearlytopullthehousedowntogetitin,thatisallthatIcantellyou。’
  Morrisgazedatherinutterbewilderment。Hepassedhishandoverhisforehead;heleanedagainstthewalllikeamanabouttofaint。Thenhistonguewasloosed,andheoverwhelmedthegirlwithtorrentsofabuse。Suchfire,suchdirectness,suchachoiceofungentlemanlylanguage,nonehadeverbeforesuspectedMorristopossess;andthegirltrembledandshrankbeforehisfury。
  ’YoushallnotspeaktoMissHazeltineinthatway,’saidGideonsternly。’ItiswhatIwillnotsuffer。’
  ’IshallspeaktothegirlasIlike,’returnedMorris,withafreshoutburstofanger。’I’llspeaktothehussyasshedeserves。’
  ’Notawordmore,sir,notoneword,’criedGideon。’MissHazeltine,’hecontinued,addressingtheyounggirl,’youcannotstayamomentlongerinthesamehousewiththisunmanlyfellow。
  Hereismyarm;letmetakeyouwhereyouwillbesecurefrominsult。’
  ’MrForsyth,’returnedJulia,’youareright;Icannotstayherelonger,andIamsureItrustmyselftoanhonourablegentleman。’
  Paleandresolute,Gideonofferedherhisarm,andthepairdescendedthesteps,followedbyMorrisclamouringforthelatchkey。
  JuliahadscarcelyhandedthekeytoMorrisbeforeanemptyhansomdrovesmartlyintoJohnStreet。Itwashailedbybothmen,andasthecabmandrewuphisrestivehorse,Morrismadeadashintothevehicle。
  ’Sixpenceabovefare,’hecriedrecklessly。’WaterlooStationforyourlife。Sixpenceforyourself!’
  ’Makeitashilling,guv’ner,’saidtheman,withagrin;’theotherpartieswerefirst。’
  ’Ashillingthen,’criedMorris,withtheinwardreflectionthathewouldreconsideritatWaterloo。Themanwhippeduphishorse,andthehansomvanishedfromJohnStreet。
  CHAPTERVI。TheTribulationsofMorris:ParttheFirstAsthehansomspanthroughthestreetsofLondon,Morrissoughttorallytheforcesofhismind。Thewater—buttwiththedeadbodyhadmiscarried,anditwasessentialtorecoverit。Somuchwasclear;andif,bysomeblestgoodfortune,itwasstillatthestation,allmightbewell。Ifithadbeensentout,however,ifitwerealreadyinthehandsofsomewrongperson,matterslookedmoreominous。Peoplewhoreceiveunexplainedpackagesareusuallykeentohavethemopen;theexampleofMissHazeltine(whomhecursedagain)wastheretoremindhimofthecircumstance;andifanyonehadopenedthewater—butt——’OLord!’
  criedMorrisatthethought,andcarriedhishandtohisdampforehead。Theprivateconceptionofanybreachoflawisapttobeinspiriting,forthescheme(whileyetinchoate)wearsdashingandattractivecolours。Notsointheleastthatpartofthecriminal’slaterreflectionswhichdealwiththepolice。Thatusefulcorps(asMorrisnowbegantothink)hadscarcebeenkeptsufficientlyinviewwhenheembarkeduponhisenterprise。’I
  mustplaydevilishclose,’hereflected,andhewasawareofanexquisitethrilloffearintheregionofthespine。
  ’Mainlineorloop?’enquiredthecabman,throughthescuttle。